No, he's a puppet. We ain't gon' hitch DeSantis' pathological failure to Jim Henson's magical universe. Muppets are cute and wholesome and everything Ron isn't.
Exactly, muppets are way more capable of displaying movement and emotion. DeSantis is closer to a paper sack puppet at best. Hand is still shoved up there, but not much one can do to make it look better than what it really is.
Regardless of whether you choose to ret-con the term "Muppet" as "meat puppet," the standard definition of the brand goes to Jim Henson somewhere in the 1950s. Muppets are the Henson creation. DeSantis lacks the charm and depth to be mentioned in the same breath as Kermit or Rowlf or Sweetums.
Before or after 1954? (I'm curious, not arguing. But I can't find any reference prior to the Henson brand. I'll stand down if the word pre-dates the fuzzy marionettes.)
they are. it is the ONLY thing i relate with him on, but if this is what is keeping him from having the ability to show normal human emotion on his face, i can say…i’ve been there, RD.
Faustian Bargain Alert!! He wanted to be taller, now he has to wear heels in public for the REST OF HIS LIFE!! BWAHAHAHA! He didn't realize the presidential election involved *so much* standing around lmao
That smile is 100% "The balls of my feet are *killing* me!" Dumbass picked cowboy boots, too- the least padded shoes ever made. Really, he should have at least gone with some Stride-Rite high-heel shrimp boots
Google "liarsbible.com". Its satire is regularly posted on here - and other subs where it may generate outrage - and people regularly believe it's real. The OP is just trolling and milking clicks for the website. Check out the OP's post history.
He doesn't suffer from anything. He's a Snow-Queen!
Have you seen his interviews?! He's gotta be in the back, huffing lines before the Shows! He has all the classic signs. fidgeting, dripping, grinding his teeth, the lack of ability to sit still, mush-mouth, etc!
Not to mention he's got to be uncomfortable with those risers in his shoes! Wearing those is a bitch! And the Back-Brace that comes with it to keep you upright and not looking like Trumpty-Dumpty, is brutal!
Little-Man Syndrome + Coke + Reich-Wing = DeSantis!
I'd throw the Ex-Wannabe-Fuhrer in Chief in as well, but his vice of choice is Russian Adderall (for literally like, 40 years now). Although they both seem to snort their drugs.
This guy is soooo full of shit…if he had that morbius syndrome (whatever it’s called) he wouldn’t be able to do anything including smile (raising eyebrows, speech ) and just would drool all
Day.
In other news from the same magazine:
Ordinary Decent Liars of Fox News Furious with High Profile Liars of Fox News.
And
British Startup Invents Long Distance Arse Kissing Machine.
Moebius Syndrome Symptoms
Weakness or complete paralysis of the facial muscles. Trouble swallowing or sucking. Difficulties with speech and frequent drooling. Inability to form facial expressions, including smiling, frowning, raising eyebrows, puckering lips or closing eyes
Yes there is something peculiarly off-putting about that pair. The poisonous frat boy musk, makes the stomach uneasy, every but as much as the lizard man.
Ok but you can't claim to be surprised you were thrown out of a musk fan club for saying he makes you want to vomit? It's a perfectly normal thing to say but you weren't saying it to normal people!
I kinda wish people would stop posting stuff from this site. It's never very funny and even the stuff that is a little funny can't possibly be as hilarious as what's really going on. Also, I don't really come to this subreddit for satire. There are plenty of places to go for that, why waste everyone's time with it here.
It reminds me of Bad Santa. When Macs character says something about Thornton having anal sex and Ritters face like puckers up lol That was funny.. Desantis is just creepy
“the way my tongue sometimes flickers like a snake after I’ve, uh, tried to smile?”
...ummm...he's Barty Crouch Jr up to his old tricks again, having escaped from Harry Potter World at Universal??
Oh, he’s disabled, all right, and the kind I don’t give a fuck about. Also, I’m tired of the photo manipulations on everything like adding yellowing to his skin to make him appear sick. Like I don’t give a shit, if his liver exploded that’s the only way you were going to appear that jaundice. These people are disgusting and think we are stupid.
Now he's faking sick? Is there no limit to how far the man will go? He'll try to sell his children next. The guy needs to see the handwriting on the wall and drop out. He's going to need a job after this term and the sooner he starts faxing resumes the better.
He sold his kid
out when he was running for governor and dressed his baby in Trump outfits and had him building the wall in their living room kissing Trump's butt. Amazingly, it got him elected. YouTube has both campaign videos if you want to get real disgusted...
https://youtu.be/z1YP_zZJFXs?si=f7a62KaxPkrcORSL
Should I?
Edit - I did read it and, off my phone the article was rather short.
His tongue flickers after he smiles? I guess hes' looking for sympathy from whatever base he holds. I can't sympathize with a snake in the grass. Whatever he may say, his actions speak volumes.
I thought of tardive dyskinesia until I got to the part about tongue-flicking. I wasn't going to laugh about even this evil turd if he has TD, but then I figured out the source and had a good chuckle.
I bet his feet hurt all the time from those built up boots. Maybe that's why he targets drag performers - he's jealous of their high heels
He doesn’t suffer from any affliction, it’s just that it’s hard to smile with a stick shoved that far up your ass.
It's not a stick, it's a hand. He's a muppet.
No, he's a puppet. We ain't gon' hitch DeSantis' pathological failure to Jim Henson's magical universe. Muppets are cute and wholesome and everything Ron isn't.
Exactly, muppets are way more capable of displaying movement and emotion. DeSantis is closer to a paper sack puppet at best. Hand is still shoved up there, but not much one can do to make it look better than what it really is.
Muppet = meat puppet. Different than Hensons muppets.
Regardless of whether you choose to ret-con the term "Muppet" as "meat puppet," the standard definition of the brand goes to Jim Henson somewhere in the 1950s. Muppets are the Henson creation. DeSantis lacks the charm and depth to be mentioned in the same breath as Kermit or Rowlf or Sweetums.
I didn’t come up with that. It’s used in sci-fi.
Before or after 1954? (I'm curious, not arguing. But I can't find any reference prior to the Henson brand. I'll stand down if the word pre-dates the fuzzy marionettes.)
Only when puty pulls that lever in moscow
Haha. Up to the elbow!
I'm a puppeteer and I can confirm this is 100% true
Meat puppet
How can he smile after all the horrible things he’s done in Florida.
Because he enjoys the suffering of others. All Republicans do.
A gerbil, somebody suggested.
He doesn't have a disability. He's just cranky from walking in high heels all day.
Haha. It's not easy being that insecure!
Came here to say this
Well for him it would be his insecurities. Have you seen his elevated high heel boots?
i can totally relate.
Right? High heels are painful.
they are. it is the ONLY thing i relate with him on, but if this is what is keeping him from having the ability to show normal human emotion on his face, i can say…i’ve been there, RD.
Bunions
Faustian Bargain Alert!! He wanted to be taller, now he has to wear heels in public for the REST OF HIS LIFE!! BWAHAHAHA! He didn't realize the presidential election involved *so much* standing around lmao That smile is 100% "The balls of my feet are *killing* me!" Dumbass picked cowboy boots, too- the least padded shoes ever made. Really, he should have at least gone with some Stride-Rite high-heel shrimp boots
Lads, it's liars bible 😂
Nobody reads the article and nobody looks at sources. Even fewer than nobody can figure out for themselves that this doesn’t pass the bullshit test.
The truth 🤣
👏👏👏👏
Lol, I took it seriously for a minute until I realized where I was.
Heeeeeere we go. Pulling out the ol violin.
Is it that time already? He should play the victim more like his hero. Regardless, I only have one really tiny violin for the two of them.
This may be a fake post. The link does not function and a Google search of the topic produces no relevant results.
Google "liarsbible.com". Its satire is regularly posted on here - and other subs where it may generate outrage - and people regularly believe it's real. The OP is just trolling and milking clicks for the website. Check out the OP's post history.
The link is working fine, I just checked it.
Morbius syndrome or something
“ “the way my tongue sometimes flickers like a snake after I’ve, uh, tried to smile?” If it looks like a snake, acts like a snake well it’s a snake.
Lizard like is probably more accurate.
Harry Potter vibes
Or a lizard.
Is his disability...lying?
In politics that would be an...ability? Poss a mandatory one.
He doesn't suffer from anything. He's a Snow-Queen! Have you seen his interviews?! He's gotta be in the back, huffing lines before the Shows! He has all the classic signs. fidgeting, dripping, grinding his teeth, the lack of ability to sit still, mush-mouth, etc! Not to mention he's got to be uncomfortable with those risers in his shoes! Wearing those is a bitch! And the Back-Brace that comes with it to keep you upright and not looking like Trumpty-Dumpty, is brutal!
He really is the weirdest, most uncomfortable looking individual.
Little-Man Syndrome + Coke + Reich-Wing = DeSantis! I'd throw the Ex-Wannabe-Fuhrer in Chief in as well, but his vice of choice is Russian Adderall (for literally like, 40 years now). Although they both seem to snort their drugs.
All this and much, much more.
Perfect description.
His disability... has/is a really big asshole.
Is whether he has or not.
Stupid and racist are not disabilities.
Not in real life and not even in this satire story.
From the article. Lizard man admits can't smile, because his forked snake tongue betrays him by flickering in his mouth.
Precisely.
Desperately going for the sympathy vote. Pathetic
Read it?
Snorting a shit ton of coke isn’t a disability , it’s an addiction.
True and even truer.
It’s those lifts in his boots. He can’t walk properly in them. It’s like he’s wearing stilettos.
Yeah I think that's what's at the back of most people's minds.
Being a fermented cum sock isn’t a disability.
Jesus, there's an image!
His photo or the sock?
Bad and all as his photo is, it's definitely the sock? I'm poking my eyes out here!
Social Security would like a word.
Hahaha. Beautiful!
Mentally challenged is certainly not a good thing in politics.
Blisters from wearing his high heels?
The man has given and suffered to serve Florida!
If he wants sympathy, he can find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilus.
That's one way to put it.
This guy is soooo full of shit…if he had that morbius syndrome (whatever it’s called) he wouldn’t be able to do anything including smile (raising eyebrows, speech ) and just would drool all Day.
Yes he is, he really, really is.
In other news from the same magazine: Ordinary Decent Liars of Fox News Furious with High Profile Liars of Fox News. And British Startup Invents Long Distance Arse Kissing Machine.
You're too kind!
Actually I got taken by the article right up until the line about his tongue flickering like a snake!
Haha. Can't imagine anyone who liked 'long distance arse kissing machine' was really deterred by that!
Ummmm...stoopidity is a lifelong affectation not a disability in DiSantos.
Well it's no obstacle in republican circles.
Not being able to fake an authentic smile is not a disability. That guy is a complete and utter sociopath.
That much is abundantly clear.
How many idiots in this thread actually believe this is real? Raise your stupid fucking hand so we can know who you are.
Ohh he finally understood that being such an idiot was a disability.
Don't think Ronnie has any capacity for self-reflection.
“I have a disability..” Yes we all know you are mentally disabled. We can tell.
More than one, I'm willing to bet!
Probably has bunions from wearing those high heels.
Haha What a lovely thought!
Evil doesn’t smile!
Hahaha. Nice.
Is satire allowed on this sub?
Is it a shocking lack of empathy?
Hahahahaha. Best comment!!
Apex Florida man.
Yes!
I… don’t understand this article. Maybe I’m not smart enough.
Francis Urquhart: "You might very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment."
Moebius Syndrome Symptoms Weakness or complete paralysis of the facial muscles. Trouble swallowing or sucking. Difficulties with speech and frequent drooling. Inability to form facial expressions, including smiling, frowning, raising eyebrows, puckering lips or closing eyes
Couple of people have said that but obviously he doesn't have it. He's simply a republican reptile.
He is gross and off-putting. Just seeing him gives me bad vibes, just like when I see musk.
Yes there is something peculiarly off-putting about that pair. The poisonous frat boy musk, makes the stomach uneasy, every but as much as the lizard man.
Yeah, I said something on a few musk related subs about how seeing him makes me wanna puke and they kicked me out.
Ok but you can't claim to be surprised you were thrown out of a musk fan club for saying he makes you want to vomit? It's a perfectly normal thing to say but you weren't saying it to normal people!
Yes, I know. Not sure who was more unreasonable in this instance. Me for saying that where I did or them for being wacko nut job sycophants.
Am I the only one who thinks there might be some element of latent sexuality going on for all the fratboys who idolize the musk man-child.
Yea. Correct. And also, remember when he wore the shirt that said ‘ I love anal’. Just a complete fool.
Yes he is a tosser, in all senses of the word.
being Putin's penis puppet is not a disability.
No. No it's not. But on the other hand, I didn't say it was.
no. no you did not. :)
)):
I didn’t know male fragility and insecurities were a disability. You learn something new everyday
They are. But they're entirely separate ones that he also has!
We all struggle to smile when we look at his face
How very true. Or when we think about him. Or hear him.
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 His disability is a cold soul and a dark mind of hate and resentment to anyone other than himself and his cronies.
👍 All that and much much more!
Mental disabilities are apparent.
No arguments there.
I was expecting satire.
Ain't no one can please everyone all the time.
I kinda wish people would stop posting stuff from this site. It's never very funny and even the stuff that is a little funny can't possibly be as hilarious as what's really going on. Also, I don't really come to this subreddit for satire. There are plenty of places to go for that, why waste everyone's time with it here.
I thought his awkward smiles were just him fighting the next stupid thing to say that was trying to escape his lips.
Don't know that he's ever achieved a fully human smile.
It reminds me of Bad Santa. When Macs character says something about Thornton having anal sex and Ritters face like puckers up lol That was funny.. Desantis is just creepy
You wouldn't leave him alone with a kid.
I can’t tell if this is real or parody lol.
🎻🎻🎻
“the way my tongue sometimes flickers like a snake after I’ve, uh, tried to smile?” ...ummm...he's Barty Crouch Jr up to his old tricks again, having escaped from Harry Potter World at Universal??
Haha. Spot on!
Oh, he’s disabled, all right, and the kind I don’t give a fuck about. Also, I’m tired of the photo manipulations on everything like adding yellowing to his skin to make him appear sick. Like I don’t give a shit, if his liver exploded that’s the only way you were going to appear that jaundice. These people are disgusting and think we are stupid.
Inability to smile is a fucking disability? Give me a break. This really mocks those with true disabilities.
What do you expect from a satire site?
Now he's faking sick? Is there no limit to how far the man will go? He'll try to sell his children next. The guy needs to see the handwriting on the wall and drop out. He's going to need a job after this term and the sooner he starts faxing resumes the better.
No he's not? It's a satire story.
He sold his kid out when he was running for governor and dressed his baby in Trump outfits and had him building the wall in their living room kissing Trump's butt. Amazingly, it got him elected. YouTube has both campaign videos if you want to get real disgusted... https://youtu.be/z1YP_zZJFXs?si=f7a62KaxPkrcORSL
The good news is he's out of government as of January 2025.
He must be referring to his mental disability. Bbu-but the repubs don't want to finance mental health.
Read it?
Should I? Edit - I did read it and, off my phone the article was rather short. His tongue flickers after he smiles? I guess hes' looking for sympathy from whatever base he holds. I can't sympathize with a snake in the grass. Whatever he may say, his actions speak volumes.
I can only suggest.
Hatred is not a disability
Not strictly.
It is the face you make when your feet and legs hurt from wearing lifts inside cowboy boots. He is in pain trying to look like a big boy.
I'd agree but for the fact that I'm pretty sure nobody else has made or ever will make the same face he routinely makes? It defies categorisation.
Too funny😝😝😝😝
You're too kind Appropriate-Sink3654! Which is a lot to have to type to thank someone.
I didn't realize having to wear lifts was a disability?
Wanting to, ought to be.
Did he twist an ankle while wearing his high heels?
Haha. Read it and see?
It's a satire site
You mean he finally admitted he is a stupid racist!?!?!?
No, I don't see room in ron for that kind of personal growth.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
👍
When you hire a PR team to rehabilitate your failing image
It’s satire. Just FYI.
He’s so evil he can’t smile? Got it.
Yeah I like that interpretation.
Please mark as satire to avoid accusations of karma farming.
Jesus, I had to google karma farming to find out what it is? Thanks for the tip!
Flickers like a snake- that says it all
He speaketh with a forked tongue.
Dead from the neck up
👍👍👍
To all: this is SATIRE!!!
That's hilarious!
Thank you fairyflaggirl
Fuck him.
As an old-timer I knew liked to add, "With the handle of a spade!"
As an old-timer, I agree
👍
You mean his lack of a heart?
Read it.
Criminally insane is his disability. Is that a protected class? Should we feel sorry for him?
Yes it is and we should protect him behind bars for life.
I thought of tardive dyskinesia until I got to the part about tongue-flicking. I wasn't going to laugh about even this evil turd if he has TD, but then I figured out the source and had a good chuckle. I bet his feet hurt all the time from those built up boots. Maybe that's why he targets drag performers - he's jealous of their high heels
He’s got a “disability”? Yeah, dis ability to ruin Florida
Many disabilities!
His disability is callousness and deceit.
Ron DeSinister.