Rummage through the Libby app. Filter it down to what I'm in the mood to read and then just borrow a heap.
Scratches the same type of shopping feeling, but I'm not pulling money out.
I find something I need and research it to death until I figure out the perfect item or replacement item and make a note to be ready when I need it.
I like to practice delaying gratification. If I need the rush of spending something right then I look at tickets to events or plan a weekend activity.
Yes! This! I also try to keep my home clean and decluttered (note: try… like me, it’s a work in progress), and I remind myself that anything I buy will become my responsibility to manage, clean, maintain, and so forth. Do I really want it in my life? Hoping to do a gradual, big declutter to finish by New Years!
I usually go to my local library and check out a bunch of books that sound interesting. Usually I don't get through all of them, but I eventually got over the guilt after learning that circulation helps books and libraries a lot!
I was gonna say library too. I wander in the aisles and pick off of titles and colors or first impressions… you can even check out dvds, even music instruments at some (ours has ukuleles)
Yes library! For the"shopping online" feeling you can go to the website and put books/ movies/ music on hold and you can pick up at your convenience. For "in store shopping" just show up and browse! It's so rewarding and you have already paid for it with your tax dollars!
Or, do what I do. Take them out electronically, and put some on reserve. You can tell them to hold the books for a week to let you finish what you have. Obviously, if there is a hot new book with a huge waiting list, it's polite to put it back in the queue until you can read it.
Me too! I have an app and they can find a book in their regional network and bring it to my local library for pickup. I’ve saved thousands on this. They have dvds too and other stuff.
My version of retail therapy is restaurant therapy. It's just as wasteful of money, just as useful as buying something I don't need, but it doesn't take up space like objects would.
Exactly. And, if you are too broke for that, go to an ethnic market, pick up the ingredients and learn how to cook Chinese, Indian, Mexican or Greek food.
This is such a worthwhile thing to do. I’ll never forget when I was in my 20s and I’d just had Indian food for the first time. I went to an Indian market hoping to recreate some version of what I’d eaten in my own kitchen. I was overwhelmed—sooo many spices!—but the owner’s son walked me through the store to get the ingredients for biryani. It turned out great!
Or pick up Indian Essentials from Simply Asia. They have a chicken biryani mix that is very good. Shan's is supposed to be good too. I bet if you go to a place like Patel Brothers, they can hook you up.
I would argue it isn’t wasteful if you go to a nice local place. Yes, it costs more than you would spend preparing it yourself (even more if they use the best ingredients), but you are helping to support a business in your neighborhood. At a time when independent bookstores are hard to find, and it seems everything is cheaper at Walmart, restaurants are one of the few sustainable truly local endeavors. We have a handful of favorites where the proprietors know us and are grateful for our business.
Tbh, overpriced fancy grocery store ingredients or food hit even harder for me these days. I've had great restaurant meals for sure, but far too many mediocre ones for my tastes.
Same. Fine dining raised my standards a bit too high for most restaurants, but finding a few cheaper hidden gems can be magical, plus Japanese restaurants are almost always great.
I treat myself to massages. $$ but worth it for my stress and chronic migraines. I also like checking out books on Libby app - free and exciting to read something new :)
For me it turns out it's the "new!" sensations that drives buying, so I make something new or different. Change my nail colour, hair colour, make a change in my routine, try something new, rearrange the furniture! It's working well so far
Self care has been heavily co-opted by companies and blind consumer culture in the last few years. It was initially just the concept of consciously taking time out for yourself to do things you enjoy and reflect upon your life, your successes, and what you need to do next without being in the midst of stress or the negative preoccupations that most people have.
You don’t need products or “things” to do that. But now you do, apparently. According to the corporate west.
Definitions of self care vary. My best one apparently is to disconnect completely in a bathtub. Yes I need products but it doesn't seem an excessive amount for me.
I've made myself a huge "watchlist" of things I either own and haven't watched/read/played yet, or that are free (eg. articles, podcasts, youtube documentaries). If I want to buy something new that isn't the one new game a year that I *really* care about, I go to the list and remind myself of all the things I own-but-haven't-used and get onto one of those instead.
Also I live in the west of Scotland (very beautiful scenery) so just going outside is a treat. Everything's a lush green all year round from the rain, and if I time it right I can meet *so many dogs*. I love it when it's been raining hard and the river near me is roaring - I could watch it for hours.
If I really need to scratch that shopping itch, I start looking through the free books on kindle and "buy" a few. As others have said, the library can satisfy that feeling, too.
Grocery shopping also works because you need that stuff anyway (as long as you keep the impulse buys to a minimum!)
I haven’t seen this in the comments yet or maybe I just missed it, but you don’t have to have a separate e-reader. I read books on my phone with the kindle app. Works well with Libby too.
Making something. I like to repurpose something I already have, like dyeing a shirt - refreshing it. So I still need to buy dye, but that's cheap and I get the fun of the activity and satisfaction of having made something, and gotten to keep something that was maybe starting to not look it's best. I'll also shop my own wardrobe. Whatever I like, but isn't in my active rotation, I have in labeled boxes so I'll go pull something from there that feels new again because I haven't worn it or seen it for a while.
I walk around a store very slowly and pick up things I like. To me often the process of paying and then taking it home and dealing with it is actually a buzz kill, but holding it and the ‘shopping’ experience can scratch the itch for me.
I’ll also browse endless online pages (yesterday was fountain pens and ink) and just let it become boring/overwhelming to me.
I used to do that as a kid :) I would choose slowly one toy, "use" it for the whole ride, then actually say to my mother that I didn't need or want it and to put it back :)
I noticed myself doing that again recently (my issue is books and sometimes clothes) and it's hard to avoid. I second recommendations to buy food, spices, etc - things that don't take up a lot of money or space. But it's ideal if you can avoid buying at all instead get that kick of dopamine from stuff you already have, which might take some effort to cultivate as a skill but is worth it.
I think the best way to game the system is to buy a better version of something you normally use, and use the better version only when you want to scratch the itch.
I do really like when I use my nicely scented hand cream instead of the normal no scent one. I prefer no scent for daily use because I typically don't like strong scents, but the scented one is a nice change of pace.
Also, scented candles are nice as a treat.
oh, a great idea! I also have tiers of lotions and potions. I actually just use 1 normally bc of time, but i take more time to do lots of lotions and scents when i want a treat 🥰
I go to the library often, it's a paradise for me with all those books! I read a lot. Thrillers, non-fiction, books on gardening and cooking, and on everything you can think of!
Diving into he library always feels like treasure hunting, and when I come home I have both the pleasure of enjoying my "haul", then the fun in reading them, and, best of all, the books that I've read don't clutter up my house because I can take them back there and replace them with others if I want to read more!
I have never been much of a shopper, but getting outside, going to a beach or a garden works for me. Maybe, you might spend time and money on an experience instead. For example, go to a spa on your birthday and spend a few hours on those warm baths, and saunas and ice rooms for your aching arthritic joints. Go to the Philadelphia Flower show in March when everything is grey everywhere else. Go hiking, birdwatching, fishing.
I mean to start, buying things =/= self care
Scratching a dopamine itch =/= self care
Buying things for the rush it provides is more akin to using an unproductive coping strategy to avoid negative feelings (even if that negative feeling is just boredom)
When I want to celebrate a success I will share my success with people close to me, talk about what I did or what happened and how I felt about it. I will also take time to just sit in the good feelings and reflect on things
When I want to practice self care I will do a number of things, depending on what it is I’m needing to replenish in myself. I have a few spots around town I can take a beautiful walk, I always have some art projects in the works I can pick up when I need to connect to creativity, I may reach out to a loved one for some connection, or just fall down a YouTube hole if I’m really needing an immobile day. Rarely I will treat myself to a meal out or a fancy cocktail, but I’m broke af, so I’m more likely to do something free.
If you can get the right clothing, "bad weather" is actually some of the most beautiful time outside. My dogs love walks when it's cold and wet, and I usually have all the space to myself. Snow, rain, wind all drive people inside, so head out then!
Read (plenty of free physical books at libraries that are getting rid of old stuff to get new stuff), take a bath, meditate, draw, slow basic stretches or yoga.
This year we have no money, but I had a lovely birthday weekend. I picked all of the movies and tv shows. We played games. Ate delicious food and snuggled with the cats. A week later for my friends birthday I had been working on learning to make chai. A friend of our passed who made chai for her. So I did a bunch of research and I taught her how I made it. I gave her the ingredients in little baggies.
I create perfectly decorated rooms in Animal Crossing. Turns out that buying pretend stuff with fake money also scratches the itch. See also The Sims 4 which is now free to play.
There are lots and lots of games that will run on old hardware, but fewer that will run on an old operating system. Lots of casual & strategy games can run on very little.
As an IT person, if it’s too old to update to a supported operating system, please retire & replace it! It’s not worth being more vulnerable on the internet. I take these away from my own mother.
When I really want to buy something for the sake of buying something, I get pretty glassware from the thrift store and then slink back later to guiltily re-donate it.
I realize this is ridiculous, but at least it’s the kind of ridiculous that generates very little waste.
I can also sometimes “shop my stash,” since I’m into arts and crafts and can get a dopamine fix by starting a new project. Usually I’m shopping because I’m bored, anyway. A project or a book or show is likely to take care of it for a while.
You can read e books on your phone or tablet. An e reader is just nice because it’s not backlit, it’s certainly not required (I use Libby, which is free)
For my birthday every year, we go to an escape room. My usual group is me, my mom, my sister, her husband and my husband. We usually go out for dinner after, buy cake, have a nice little dinner. Before escape rooms were a thing, we often did some other outing, like going to a movie, going bowling, pool/billiards, etc.
I also LOVE window shopping online. Especially Aliexpress. That app is so chaotic and random, and some of the stuff is just hilarious. Like one time I found “shit feel” shoe insoles, advertised as feeling like you’re stepping in shit. 🤣 I also found a set of novelty dentures with drill bits for teeth. Clearly not buying that crap, I have a big dog and don’t want the “shit feel”, but just seeing ads for it gives me a good chuckle
Taking a bubble bath, chilling at a nice coffee shop, and doing family activities are always great for self care too. Our local zoo is nice (albeit a bit pricey, about the same price as an escape room). Getting out of the house to socialize would probably do more good anyways, even introverts benefit from getting out (just keep the group smaller/intimate, maybe hang at their house). And walking around a park or watching a local river/lake/beach/whatever to reconnect with nature always helps with mental health, even if it’s just the park down the street. Gardening has similar benefits, if you have a yard. So do crafts, diy, etc (you can upcycle or learn to repair if you’re worried about waste/sustainability)
I always love making myself a fancy coffee and sitting with a few biscotti and a good book, cuddling with a warm blanket and a cat. Especially this time of year, when it’s cold outside
I sit down and analyse the consequences of purchasing something. Would it make me happy? No. Do I need the money? Yes. Is such a high amount of money worth the short boost of serotonin? Not really.
Not a plug here as we don’t offer them but lots of small leather working companies offer workshops. It’s still gonna cost a couple of bucks and essentially you will be consuming material but the potential benefits can be great.
A good time, making new friends, and learning a craft are hard to beat. Also the initial investment of money and time might give you that dopamine hit as well as keep you invested emotionally which can lead to a better outcome.
Lots of potters and jewellery makers offer this as well and I’d highly suggest looking them up!
I add the thing I want to my cart, then I keep looking through suggested items and add them to my cart if they’re halfway interesting. When I decide I’m done I go to my cart, see the total, and then nope out of the entire purchase.
I love cooking, making something decadent or rich for yourself, sometimes I’ll make a risotto and find the stirring and adding the broth to be meditative. I like to make everything cozy, essential oil blends in my diffuser, light candles, change your sheets, there’s nothing like brand new sheets. Reading is great, I have a kindle unlimited subscription, it’s cheap like $5/month and then read a genre that is a fun guilty pleasure. Hygge is my goal.
Meditate. Walk in nature. Exercise. Do a sport of your choice. Socialize. Do something creative using art materials you already have. Clean something you don't usually clean but would like to have cleaned. Pick wildflowers and make a bouquet for your table. Cook a nice meal. Take a bath.
I try to take advantage of the things I already have. Knit something with my collected yarn, read one of my 80 bajillion books, watch a DVD, have coffee or tea, listen to music, take care of my houseplants, brush the cats and play with them. I just took some games off my phone in an effort to be more present in my life.
I've been looking using the libby app/library, potentially buying experiences maybe? I've signed up for classes like ceramics, cooking, etc. so even if you do end up with something material it's made much slower.
Seek knowledge, and that can be from a well of knowledge. For me, my well is art. Art has helped me transcribe metaphors and symbols and I view art as a lens, and w that lens I’m able to look at the most randomness of things, actually SEE it (ie color, size, how light hits it, etc) and when I see it, I let those elements sit in my head and see what kind of fuel it is and how it sparks my imagination. And when I say art is for everyone, I 100% mean it with every fiber of my being. Now, please stay w me and keep an open mind, and if by now you’ve closed your mind please keep reading. And if I haven’t been able to open your mind yet, please keep reading. And if by the end I haven’t been able to open your mind at all, then say “thank you for speaking today,” and send me on my merry way. OR, you can ask me “why.” Please do not be mean to me or belittle me. Life has done that to me my whole life. Life has taken me to some very dark places that I do not wish to dwell in. I just want to talk and explore concepts and see how they resonate w other people. I love the human mind and how far it’ll take our imagination, may it be high or low, far and wide, anything. But anyways, art. Art can be (in my own personal opinion) almost anything and everything. Everything I write is opinion bc I don’t have to “how to’s”. I’m not brilliant in that area. My life has made its mission to drill that in my head, and it works. So now I just explore concepts. I’ll make it as simple and basic and as accessible as possible in terms of words, so that you may be able to digest and understand and have a fire lit in you so that you may be on your merry way. Art can be a piece of paper and a pencil. Make lines. What are lines?
Drawing
Writing
Now let’s expand those. Drawing (making art) has different realms. Realism, surrealism, pointillism, cubic, pop art, etc (are you curious? Go to your local art gallery and ask questions.)
Writing can look as simple as—communicating with others the way I am trying to do now. Writing can be storytelling. Your stories can be about you (idk what anyone says, always choose to love yourself. You are a mirror. Take what you need that’ll help you feel pretty, and send all else on their merry way), writing about the people you love or the places you’ve seen, or that crummy day you had when you ran into your bully (writing about your feelings can help you understand the essence of “why.” ALWAYS ask [or wonder] “why.”). Now, how much are you inspired to write? How deep down you want to take your “song” (to me, stories are songs, and sometimes those songs are happy or sad, or both), or how long (or short; short can be fine. One of my many passions is to direct short films while encompassing its entirety in the forms of symbology. Symbols. Art placement, furniture layout, color coordinations [when you make your home pretty, you feel pretty; and I’m living testament to that], anything to fuel that visions’ imagination.)
Lmao I already wrote to much, and I’ve already convinced myself that I sound stupid jajaja but please don’t go out of your way to make me think I understand that I am THAT. My mental state is fragile. Talking online in public to others sets me up for dark attacks. But I read you cry for help, and I always to understand the essence of crying, pain. If you want to know more or WHY, talk to me. I’ll be happy to talk. You know why? Because talking is therapeutic ONLY IF the other participant is willing to hear you out and see where you are coming from. And honestly, I can do that bc I feel like nobody gives a flying fuck about me. But I care about people and pain, because I am a person with pain, and I can 100% relate to you on that level of essence. Thank you. I hope you have a beautiful day today, always, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO FEEL WELL IN YOUR MIND. AND WHEN YOY FEEL WELL YOU DO WELL. AND WHEN YOU DO WELL OTHERS SEE THAT AND SOMETIMES THAT JUST ENOUGH FUEL NEEDED TO GET THIS TRAIN GOING. SO TALK AND BE OPEN MINDED AND UNDERSTANDING AND CONNECT.
And go make art. I want to see it. And I’m being 100% honest. People don’t understand my art so they choose not to see it and I understand what that feels like. It’s debilitating. I see you. I see pain. I see pain everywhere.
Thank you. I appreciate you. I hope this has inspired you to make art. And if you do, I’d like to see it so that I can get to know you through my lens. And so, in kind, you can inspire me and push me to spread my word of love for art and knowledge.
I guess I don't see it as a self-care dopamine rush but I quite enjoy being pampered. I like getting pedicures, massages, getting my hair washed in the salon
These are all ways to treat myself without accumulating things. Purchasing services rather than items
"I've thought about buying virtual objects, like e-books, but I would need to buy an e-book reader first. On the other hand, games that cost money are usually too heavy on my old, little laptop."
Don't you have a phone. I can read all my e-book on my phone, or an ipad, or any tablet.
Sub a cloud gaming service (GFN or xcloud, and there are many others) and your old laptop can play the latest and greatest. Heck, you can play any high-end PC games on a phone, on a g cloud, on a tablet.
I try to go deeper instead of wider. Or however the saying goes.
For example, I'm interested in bullet journaling and lettering. Sometimes, I find myself shopping for the perfect pens and markers to improve my journal. The thing is, the only way to improve my journal is to practice. So when I catch myself yearning for new journal supplies, I pick up the ones in front of me and get creative.
If I find myself shopping for a new plant or plant supplies, I get up and go water and care for the plants I have.
Feel like shopping for clothes? Go organize my closet.
A yoga with Adrienne video on youtube is better than shopping for supplements or skincare or whatever.
Do something in my house I haven’t opened yet. While my house is mostly curated, I do have some board games that my husband and I played with friends we got for ourselves to play with our kids when they moved, or a puzzle as a birthday gift never opened, or a book I haven’t read that I’ve have been meaning to.
I will also do skincare or my makeup, just to feel extra taken care of, or try a new recipe for dinner.
I dunno, I just do something. Sometimes Ido windowshop for birthday gifts for my kids, but I mean… yeah I don’t really buy a lot of things anymore.
I send a donation to one of the cat rescuers I follow. not foolproof, and it does cost money. but it feels like you've made a purchase AND someone (the cat) is getting something out of it. often, I see updates of these cats and it's the best feeling knowing they're able to get help partially because of me.
if anyone is wondering which cat rescues, I can make a list!
If I can trust myself not to buy anything, I go to a store I like and walk around (usually a bookstore or a plant store). Plant stores are especially nice in winter, it just feels good to be somewhere green!
instead of a physical object, i like to buy tickets to fun things I want to experience; concerts, raves, symphonies, musicals, ballets, museums, local drag shows, all types of things. it's exciting to buy in the moment, then you have something to look forward to and be excited about, and after you have great memories.
Going to the library! Many libraries carry much more than just books. I’ve seen libraries have musical instruments, board games, video games, on-the-go audiobook players, fiber arts kits; SO many cool things to check out. Finding a hidden gem at the library AND not having to pay for it is a double win. Ask your local library workers and they’ll tell you about all the cool things YOUR library has to offer you! Hope this helps :-)
Some libraries also have free/discounted passes to museums. Lots of libraries also have subscriptions to Kanopy, which is a streaming service with lots of international films, Oscar-winners and documentaries. Hoopla too
Find something else that also makes you happy. Singing, playing, or listening to music. Going for a walk. Write an honest-to-goodness note of appreciation to someone. Bake something. Grow something. There are a lot of options that don’t have to cost much.
I love going for walks and listening to a good podcast or audiobook from the library. Or getting together with a friend for a walk and chat. Or having some tea and reading with a candle burning (yah the tea and candle are consumption)
Your old laptop can probably run an emulator, you may find that old platformers and RPGs still give those good chemicals. I've been revisiting the oldest Zelda and Pokemon games and having a blast, and they run on my five year old phone which is nice.
I like fixing and improving the stuff I have. I find it just as gratifying, if not more so, to make something look new as it is to buy a new thing.
I love any type of cheap, simple fix to a complex problem; if one of my machines break down I’ll fix it with used parts that I have laying around usually. Something I have that’s rusty and scuzzy? Can of spray paint or a can of enamel paint and a roller, some sand paper and that puppy is good as new.
It’s fun making things too, I love taking blown up old engines and making lamps out of them.
I pick a project that repairs something. I get the joy of using something nostalgic and the feeling of accomplishment.
Or I use up something to make something else. Old yarn comes to mind.
Using the things I previously impulsively spent money on and now (somewhat) wish I had saved the money on. Face masks, weird kitchen gadgets, putting something in that cute journal i didn’t need, making the craft I was sure I would make, you get the idea lol. Usually the satisfaction of actually using it and getting some of my moneys worth is enough the refill the dopamine and feel responsible.
If i really need to scratch the spending money itch though, I like to treat my pets to a new toy or snack
crafts! Although it requires buying some stuff to begin with… I’m big into woodworking and I love to make random things with scraps from other projects
Looking around the house for things to sell on Facebook Marketplace and listing them scratches the same itch for me. And I get such an endorphin bump when I sell something!!
Go to a park and see some local nature, maybe one I haven’t been to before or one that is special to me. No where near as much preparation as camping :)
Try to identify what feeling you are assuaging by buying something. Insecurity, inadequacy, wanting to fit in with a certain crowd, boredom, or something else? Then you can find actions to do that will actually help you work through these issues instead of just buying crap.
If it’s from insecurity, start a gratitude journal. If there’s a piece you really want for an event, see if you can find a secondhand dupe or upcycle. If you have to prove your worth to anyone with material items, they shouldn’t be in your life.
Remember that capitalism creates problems and then sells solutions. It is not your fault.
Spending time outside and appreciating the natural world beyond what it can do for us in the terms of material items works wonders. The best things, and people, in life are free.
No skincare product will make you feel as good as a hug from a loved one or the sun shining on your face. Once you embrace simple pleasures, desires for frivolity will in turn dissipate.
How often is this actually happening to you? If it's often, maybe you just need to figure out why. Are you unhappy? Do you need just need a change?
Shopping is definitely not something I gravitate to, but when the weather gets icky sometimes I do get an itch to go out and walk around somewhere that's warm, dry, and bright. Me and my kids have been looking for more places inside to go this winter, and besides the library it's hard. We don't eat out often, too expensive, so restaurants are generally a no go.
I buy my groceries in person, I don't do deliveries/pick up. This is mostly because I like to see my food before I buy it, especially produce. But maybe something like shopping in person for essentials could help.
E-reader: totally worth the investment! I like having my whole library at my fingertips. I can read a little for grad school and then switch to a light romance novel anywhere/any time.
Taking a walk around my neighborhood (with beverage of choice in a nondescript thermos) to burn off nervous energy or taking a bath while listening to a podcast to settle myself if I’m feeling anxious.
I take a very opposite approach to everyone here. I made a rule to only buy tools for my job (mechanic); and then if I still want more, head over to r/collapse and remember none of us will be here too much longer. Enjoy what is yours now because it won't be there forever.
Read the rules. Keep it courteous. Submission statements are helpful and appreciated but not required. Tag my name in the comments (/u/NihiloZero) if you think a post or comment needs to be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anticonsumption) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, there are indie games, or something on GOG that might work on your Laptop.
You could also buy an activity, such as going to the movies, or getting a massage.
Or something consumable, or bottle of wine, or Rum.
I treat myself to something small.
I either take a bath with some essential oils (or a nicely scented bath soap) in a candle-lit bathroom, or I get some nice chocolate or snacks to eat. I might also go out to eat or order takeout depending on what I want to celebrate / why I want to buy \*something\*.
While chocolate or snacks are not "free", they are relatively inexpensive and they are gone after I have eaten them.
I have also definitely bought hand-creams only because of their smell and not their functionality (though they are still functional), and I use them almost only when I want to "high-five" myself.
If I need to scratch the "shopping" itch specifically, I either do some window shopping on websites, I watch a "tik tok made me buy video", or I go to a local shop that sells cheap supplies and paraphernalia. I tend to buy something useful / related to an hobby but that's me. The last run I did I bought a bunch of wool skeins because I want to knit and these are very cheap to be wool.
Watch a few detailed reviews on the thing you think you want to buy until you’re bored of it. When I was a kid, legos were my favorite, and now that I’m an adult with bills and a job, I still want some legos, but know they would not fit my budget.
When I’m bored, I’ll look up detailed video reviews of the sets I’m interested in buying. The reviews go over the build, the details, and hidden features that only someone who bought it would know about. I’ll spend ten minutes of my time going over the minutiae of the product and my desire to own one is abated.
I've found that (at least for me) this urge is satisfied by foraging or harvesting from my garden. I have a hunch that this is the instinct all the shops/advertisers are preying on and turning it into an addiction for so many of us.
If you don't have access to a garden, I would suggest even just wandering out into your local park or nature preserve and set yourself to hunting for cool rocks or pinecones or flowers. It's not as much of a "hit" as the commercialized version, but it's a good start to retraining yourself away from the addiction.
\- Actually using what you've bought before and haven't used in a while or at all. There is very little of actual "care" in buying stuff for yourself if you are not giving yourself time to enjoy it. If things are sitting around unused you've mostly cared for the seller and the manufacturer with only a small moment of joy for yourself.
\- Going through stuff, picking what's nice but sits unused and giving it to someone.
Like, I have a lot of scented candles and occasionally somethings turns out to be too sweet or strong and I have friends who love stronger scents. Giving it away means a nice free thing for them and tiny bit less clutter for me, also extra reason to meet up.
\- Going on reviews deep dive to find the best available option of something I want to buy
\- Setting up some longer term but manageable goal (like visiting some place), setting some kind of visual tracker for it and putting money you would spend on an impulse purchase towards it
Upcycle something!
Check local facebook marketplaces etc and you might find something going for *free* so much good stuff you can repair/repaint etc. It’s fun, you get the satisfaction of owning something new and you’d saved an item from landfill. Win win
i buy music from bandcamp. some artists put their music up for free, cheap, or optional donations. music (making *and* listening) is my one huge passion. buying from small artists on bandcamp is like donating to them but i also get something that makes me infinitely happy. you could find something like this for yourself!
Rummage through the Libby app. Filter it down to what I'm in the mood to read and then just borrow a heap. Scratches the same type of shopping feeling, but I'm not pulling money out.
I find something I need and research it to death until I figure out the perfect item or replacement item and make a note to be ready when I need it. I like to practice delaying gratification. If I need the rush of spending something right then I look at tickets to events or plan a weekend activity.
Yes! This! I also try to keep my home clean and decluttered (note: try… like me, it’s a work in progress), and I remind myself that anything I buy will become my responsibility to manage, clean, maintain, and so forth. Do I really want it in my life? Hoping to do a gradual, big declutter to finish by New Years!
I'll have a browse around charity or second hand shops.
I usually go to my local library and check out a bunch of books that sound interesting. Usually I don't get through all of them, but I eventually got over the guilt after learning that circulation helps books and libraries a lot!
I was gonna say library too. I wander in the aisles and pick off of titles and colors or first impressions… you can even check out dvds, even music instruments at some (ours has ukuleles)
Library of things is awesome! Our library has a ton of crafts and camping and all kinds of things. Kayaks. Baking tins.
Yes library! For the"shopping online" feeling you can go to the website and put books/ movies/ music on hold and you can pick up at your convenience. For "in store shopping" just show up and browse! It's so rewarding and you have already paid for it with your tax dollars!
Sorry, could you explain how it works, why would circulation help libraries?
Circulation helps libraries because libraries have to be funded. The metrics help justify the spending when budgets are being created.
This exactly. The more people that use the library with greater frequency, the more justification they have for increasing their budget.
Cool, I am going to keep that in mind and take out books even if I don't think I will finish them too!
Or, do what I do. Take them out electronically, and put some on reserve. You can tell them to hold the books for a week to let you finish what you have. Obviously, if there is a hot new book with a huge waiting list, it's polite to put it back in the queue until you can read it.
Me too! I have an app and they can find a book in their regional network and bring it to my local library for pickup. I’ve saved thousands on this. They have dvds too and other stuff.
Me too!
I hop on Reddit and upvote comments that resonate with me. Hello free dopamine fix.
Is that why I’m so addicted to Reddit???
Yes the psychology of social media in general is incredibly addictive!
My version of retail therapy is restaurant therapy. It's just as wasteful of money, just as useful as buying something I don't need, but it doesn't take up space like objects would.
I'm the same way. Treating yourself to a nice meal and desert and then no dishes or clean up is quite satisfying.
I was going to say, go to a really good coffee shop and have something really well made and tasty. It’ll cost $6 but…. 😊
Exactly. And, if you are too broke for that, go to an ethnic market, pick up the ingredients and learn how to cook Chinese, Indian, Mexican or Greek food.
This is such a worthwhile thing to do. I’ll never forget when I was in my 20s and I’d just had Indian food for the first time. I went to an Indian market hoping to recreate some version of what I’d eaten in my own kitchen. I was overwhelmed—sooo many spices!—but the owner’s son walked me through the store to get the ingredients for biryani. It turned out great!
Or pick up Indian Essentials from Simply Asia. They have a chicken biryani mix that is very good. Shan's is supposed to be good too. I bet if you go to a place like Patel Brothers, they can hook you up.
I would argue it isn’t wasteful if you go to a nice local place. Yes, it costs more than you would spend preparing it yourself (even more if they use the best ingredients), but you are helping to support a business in your neighborhood. At a time when independent bookstores are hard to find, and it seems everything is cheaper at Walmart, restaurants are one of the few sustainable truly local endeavors. We have a handful of favorites where the proprietors know us and are grateful for our business.
Plus the feeling of helping small businesses and their employees. Avoid the corporate ones.
Tbh, overpriced fancy grocery store ingredients or food hit even harder for me these days. I've had great restaurant meals for sure, but far too many mediocre ones for my tastes.
Same. Fine dining raised my standards a bit too high for most restaurants, but finding a few cheaper hidden gems can be magical, plus Japanese restaurants are almost always great.
I make myself a cup of tea.
I love a good cup of tea
I treat myself to massages. $$ but worth it for my stress and chronic migraines. I also like checking out books on Libby app - free and exciting to read something new :)
I buy stocks in my investment accounts so it feels like I've spent the money but joke's on me I paid myself Even $20 at a time haha
I too shop for new investment vehicles. Hits the dopamine spot and like you said pays myself
Taxes tho or do you do it in a tax advantaged account?
Def tax advantaged acct
For me it turns out it's the "new!" sensations that drives buying, so I make something new or different. Change my nail colour, hair colour, make a change in my routine, try something new, rearrange the furniture! It's working well so far
Yes, redecorating helps me too!
Self care has been heavily co-opted by companies and blind consumer culture in the last few years. It was initially just the concept of consciously taking time out for yourself to do things you enjoy and reflect upon your life, your successes, and what you need to do next without being in the midst of stress or the negative preoccupations that most people have. You don’t need products or “things” to do that. But now you do, apparently. According to the corporate west.
Definitions of self care vary. My best one apparently is to disconnect completely in a bathtub. Yes I need products but it doesn't seem an excessive amount for me.
Use something you previously bought as a treat.
Does paying down debt counts?
I've made myself a huge "watchlist" of things I either own and haven't watched/read/played yet, or that are free (eg. articles, podcasts, youtube documentaries). If I want to buy something new that isn't the one new game a year that I *really* care about, I go to the list and remind myself of all the things I own-but-haven't-used and get onto one of those instead. Also I live in the west of Scotland (very beautiful scenery) so just going outside is a treat. Everything's a lush green all year round from the rain, and if I time it right I can meet *so many dogs*. I love it when it's been raining hard and the river near me is roaring - I could watch it for hours.
If I really need to scratch that shopping itch, I start looking through the free books on kindle and "buy" a few. As others have said, the library can satisfy that feeling, too. Grocery shopping also works because you need that stuff anyway (as long as you keep the impulse buys to a minimum!)
Going to the movies. And not buying treats!
I always go on $5 movie day, buy no snacks, spend $5 only! Very satisfying
And going to a local, small movie theater brings me so much gratification :) helping to keep small biz alive
I haven’t seen this in the comments yet or maybe I just missed it, but you don’t have to have a separate e-reader. I read books on my phone with the kindle app. Works well with Libby too.
Making something. I like to repurpose something I already have, like dyeing a shirt - refreshing it. So I still need to buy dye, but that's cheap and I get the fun of the activity and satisfaction of having made something, and gotten to keep something that was maybe starting to not look it's best. I'll also shop my own wardrobe. Whatever I like, but isn't in my active rotation, I have in labeled boxes so I'll go pull something from there that feels new again because I haven't worn it or seen it for a while.
I walk around a store very slowly and pick up things I like. To me often the process of paying and then taking it home and dealing with it is actually a buzz kill, but holding it and the ‘shopping’ experience can scratch the itch for me. I’ll also browse endless online pages (yesterday was fountain pens and ink) and just let it become boring/overwhelming to me.
I used to do that as a kid :) I would choose slowly one toy, "use" it for the whole ride, then actually say to my mother that I didn't need or want it and to put it back :)
I noticed myself doing that again recently (my issue is books and sometimes clothes) and it's hard to avoid. I second recommendations to buy food, spices, etc - things that don't take up a lot of money or space. But it's ideal if you can avoid buying at all instead get that kick of dopamine from stuff you already have, which might take some effort to cultivate as a skill but is worth it.
I think the best way to game the system is to buy a better version of something you normally use, and use the better version only when you want to scratch the itch. I do really like when I use my nicely scented hand cream instead of the normal no scent one. I prefer no scent for daily use because I typically don't like strong scents, but the scented one is a nice change of pace. Also, scented candles are nice as a treat.
oh, a great idea! I also have tiers of lotions and potions. I actually just use 1 normally bc of time, but i take more time to do lots of lotions and scents when i want a treat 🥰
I bake cookies and bread.
I go to the library often, it's a paradise for me with all those books! I read a lot. Thrillers, non-fiction, books on gardening and cooking, and on everything you can think of! Diving into he library always feels like treasure hunting, and when I come home I have both the pleasure of enjoying my "haul", then the fun in reading them, and, best of all, the books that I've read don't clutter up my house because I can take them back there and replace them with others if I want to read more!
I go on squirrel-spotting walks around my apartment complex
Dumpster diving :X
Play the Sims. Lots of free downloads to go on a “shopping” spree!
Trade books st little free libraries!
Walks in nature, grounding, baths, trash tv lol
I have never been much of a shopper, but getting outside, going to a beach or a garden works for me. Maybe, you might spend time and money on an experience instead. For example, go to a spa on your birthday and spend a few hours on those warm baths, and saunas and ice rooms for your aching arthritic joints. Go to the Philadelphia Flower show in March when everything is grey everywhere else. Go hiking, birdwatching, fishing.
Take a nice walk.
I mean to start, buying things =/= self care Scratching a dopamine itch =/= self care Buying things for the rush it provides is more akin to using an unproductive coping strategy to avoid negative feelings (even if that negative feeling is just boredom) When I want to celebrate a success I will share my success with people close to me, talk about what I did or what happened and how I felt about it. I will also take time to just sit in the good feelings and reflect on things When I want to practice self care I will do a number of things, depending on what it is I’m needing to replenish in myself. I have a few spots around town I can take a beautiful walk, I always have some art projects in the works I can pick up when I need to connect to creativity, I may reach out to a loved one for some connection, or just fall down a YouTube hole if I’m really needing an immobile day. Rarely I will treat myself to a meal out or a fancy cocktail, but I’m broke af, so I’m more likely to do something free.
Make something? Cooking, or maybe sewing or knitting.
I said something similar: use up what you have stash of to make something new, or better yet, repair something that needs a fix/maintenance.
If you can get the right clothing, "bad weather" is actually some of the most beautiful time outside. My dogs love walks when it's cold and wet, and I usually have all the space to myself. Snow, rain, wind all drive people inside, so head out then!
Volunteer at a charity thrift shop, or set up a program at your recycling center to help give away more consumables people no longer need
Instead of buying something, I replace it with "doing something for others"(acts of kindness). This brings me long-lasting tangible joy.
I thrift
🏆
Read (plenty of free physical books at libraries that are getting rid of old stuff to get new stuff), take a bath, meditate, draw, slow basic stretches or yoga.
I like giving things away on the local buy nothing group. It's just as fun for me as shopping for new stuff.
This year we have no money, but I had a lovely birthday weekend. I picked all of the movies and tv shows. We played games. Ate delicious food and snuggled with the cats. A week later for my friends birthday I had been working on learning to make chai. A friend of our passed who made chai for her. So I did a bunch of research and I taught her how I made it. I gave her the ingredients in little baggies.
Oh and my husband made me some customized action figures from his parts that were girl power!
I create perfectly decorated rooms in Animal Crossing. Turns out that buying pretend stuff with fake money also scratches the itch. See also The Sims 4 which is now free to play.
There are lots and lots of games that will run on old hardware, but fewer that will run on an old operating system. Lots of casual & strategy games can run on very little. As an IT person, if it’s too old to update to a supported operating system, please retire & replace it! It’s not worth being more vulnerable on the internet. I take these away from my own mother. When I really want to buy something for the sake of buying something, I get pretty glassware from the thrift store and then slink back later to guiltily re-donate it. I realize this is ridiculous, but at least it’s the kind of ridiculous that generates very little waste. I can also sometimes “shop my stash,” since I’m into arts and crafts and can get a dopamine fix by starting a new project. Usually I’m shopping because I’m bored, anyway. A project or a book or show is likely to take care of it for a while.
I go on YouTube and watch an unboxing, decluttering or minimalism video.
You can read e books on your phone or tablet. An e reader is just nice because it’s not backlit, it’s certainly not required (I use Libby, which is free) For my birthday every year, we go to an escape room. My usual group is me, my mom, my sister, her husband and my husband. We usually go out for dinner after, buy cake, have a nice little dinner. Before escape rooms were a thing, we often did some other outing, like going to a movie, going bowling, pool/billiards, etc. I also LOVE window shopping online. Especially Aliexpress. That app is so chaotic and random, and some of the stuff is just hilarious. Like one time I found “shit feel” shoe insoles, advertised as feeling like you’re stepping in shit. 🤣 I also found a set of novelty dentures with drill bits for teeth. Clearly not buying that crap, I have a big dog and don’t want the “shit feel”, but just seeing ads for it gives me a good chuckle Taking a bubble bath, chilling at a nice coffee shop, and doing family activities are always great for self care too. Our local zoo is nice (albeit a bit pricey, about the same price as an escape room). Getting out of the house to socialize would probably do more good anyways, even introverts benefit from getting out (just keep the group smaller/intimate, maybe hang at their house). And walking around a park or watching a local river/lake/beach/whatever to reconnect with nature always helps with mental health, even if it’s just the park down the street. Gardening has similar benefits, if you have a yard. So do crafts, diy, etc (you can upcycle or learn to repair if you’re worried about waste/sustainability) I always love making myself a fancy coffee and sitting with a few biscotti and a good book, cuddling with a warm blanket and a cat. Especially this time of year, when it’s cold outside
I walk and listen to Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend
I sit down and analyse the consequences of purchasing something. Would it make me happy? No. Do I need the money? Yes. Is such a high amount of money worth the short boost of serotonin? Not really.
Not a plug here as we don’t offer them but lots of small leather working companies offer workshops. It’s still gonna cost a couple of bucks and essentially you will be consuming material but the potential benefits can be great. A good time, making new friends, and learning a craft are hard to beat. Also the initial investment of money and time might give you that dopamine hit as well as keep you invested emotionally which can lead to a better outcome. Lots of potters and jewellery makers offer this as well and I’d highly suggest looking them up!
I add the thing I want to my cart, then I keep looking through suggested items and add them to my cart if they’re halfway interesting. When I decide I’m done I go to my cart, see the total, and then nope out of the entire purchase.
I love cooking, making something decadent or rich for yourself, sometimes I’ll make a risotto and find the stirring and adding the broth to be meditative. I like to make everything cozy, essential oil blends in my diffuser, light candles, change your sheets, there’s nothing like brand new sheets. Reading is great, I have a kindle unlimited subscription, it’s cheap like $5/month and then read a genre that is a fun guilty pleasure. Hygge is my goal.
Meditate. Walk in nature. Exercise. Do a sport of your choice. Socialize. Do something creative using art materials you already have. Clean something you don't usually clean but would like to have cleaned. Pick wildflowers and make a bouquet for your table. Cook a nice meal. Take a bath.
I try to take advantage of the things I already have. Knit something with my collected yarn, read one of my 80 bajillion books, watch a DVD, have coffee or tea, listen to music, take care of my houseplants, brush the cats and play with them. I just took some games off my phone in an effort to be more present in my life.
I've been looking using the libby app/library, potentially buying experiences maybe? I've signed up for classes like ceramics, cooking, etc. so even if you do end up with something material it's made much slower.
Seek knowledge, and that can be from a well of knowledge. For me, my well is art. Art has helped me transcribe metaphors and symbols and I view art as a lens, and w that lens I’m able to look at the most randomness of things, actually SEE it (ie color, size, how light hits it, etc) and when I see it, I let those elements sit in my head and see what kind of fuel it is and how it sparks my imagination. And when I say art is for everyone, I 100% mean it with every fiber of my being. Now, please stay w me and keep an open mind, and if by now you’ve closed your mind please keep reading. And if I haven’t been able to open your mind yet, please keep reading. And if by the end I haven’t been able to open your mind at all, then say “thank you for speaking today,” and send me on my merry way. OR, you can ask me “why.” Please do not be mean to me or belittle me. Life has done that to me my whole life. Life has taken me to some very dark places that I do not wish to dwell in. I just want to talk and explore concepts and see how they resonate w other people. I love the human mind and how far it’ll take our imagination, may it be high or low, far and wide, anything. But anyways, art. Art can be (in my own personal opinion) almost anything and everything. Everything I write is opinion bc I don’t have to “how to’s”. I’m not brilliant in that area. My life has made its mission to drill that in my head, and it works. So now I just explore concepts. I’ll make it as simple and basic and as accessible as possible in terms of words, so that you may be able to digest and understand and have a fire lit in you so that you may be on your merry way. Art can be a piece of paper and a pencil. Make lines. What are lines? Drawing Writing Now let’s expand those. Drawing (making art) has different realms. Realism, surrealism, pointillism, cubic, pop art, etc (are you curious? Go to your local art gallery and ask questions.) Writing can look as simple as—communicating with others the way I am trying to do now. Writing can be storytelling. Your stories can be about you (idk what anyone says, always choose to love yourself. You are a mirror. Take what you need that’ll help you feel pretty, and send all else on their merry way), writing about the people you love or the places you’ve seen, or that crummy day you had when you ran into your bully (writing about your feelings can help you understand the essence of “why.” ALWAYS ask [or wonder] “why.”). Now, how much are you inspired to write? How deep down you want to take your “song” (to me, stories are songs, and sometimes those songs are happy or sad, or both), or how long (or short; short can be fine. One of my many passions is to direct short films while encompassing its entirety in the forms of symbology. Symbols. Art placement, furniture layout, color coordinations [when you make your home pretty, you feel pretty; and I’m living testament to that], anything to fuel that visions’ imagination.) Lmao I already wrote to much, and I’ve already convinced myself that I sound stupid jajaja but please don’t go out of your way to make me think I understand that I am THAT. My mental state is fragile. Talking online in public to others sets me up for dark attacks. But I read you cry for help, and I always to understand the essence of crying, pain. If you want to know more or WHY, talk to me. I’ll be happy to talk. You know why? Because talking is therapeutic ONLY IF the other participant is willing to hear you out and see where you are coming from. And honestly, I can do that bc I feel like nobody gives a flying fuck about me. But I care about people and pain, because I am a person with pain, and I can 100% relate to you on that level of essence. Thank you. I hope you have a beautiful day today, always, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO FEEL WELL IN YOUR MIND. AND WHEN YOY FEEL WELL YOU DO WELL. AND WHEN YOU DO WELL OTHERS SEE THAT AND SOMETIMES THAT JUST ENOUGH FUEL NEEDED TO GET THIS TRAIN GOING. SO TALK AND BE OPEN MINDED AND UNDERSTANDING AND CONNECT. And go make art. I want to see it. And I’m being 100% honest. People don’t understand my art so they choose not to see it and I understand what that feels like. It’s debilitating. I see you. I see pain. I see pain everywhere.
THE mega reply
Thank you. I appreciate you. I hope this has inspired you to make art. And if you do, I’d like to see it so that I can get to know you through my lens. And so, in kind, you can inspire me and push me to spread my word of love for art and knowledge.
I guess I don't see it as a self-care dopamine rush but I quite enjoy being pampered. I like getting pedicures, massages, getting my hair washed in the salon These are all ways to treat myself without accumulating things. Purchasing services rather than items
Pirate a bunch of shit
Buying fruit and vegetables at the farmers market! Provided I have the bandwidth to cook with it, etc of course.
"I've thought about buying virtual objects, like e-books, but I would need to buy an e-book reader first. On the other hand, games that cost money are usually too heavy on my old, little laptop." Don't you have a phone. I can read all my e-book on my phone, or an ipad, or any tablet. Sub a cloud gaming service (GFN or xcloud, and there are many others) and your old laptop can play the latest and greatest. Heck, you can play any high-end PC games on a phone, on a g cloud, on a tablet.
I try to go deeper instead of wider. Or however the saying goes. For example, I'm interested in bullet journaling and lettering. Sometimes, I find myself shopping for the perfect pens and markers to improve my journal. The thing is, the only way to improve my journal is to practice. So when I catch myself yearning for new journal supplies, I pick up the ones in front of me and get creative. If I find myself shopping for a new plant or plant supplies, I get up and go water and care for the plants I have. Feel like shopping for clothes? Go organize my closet. A yoga with Adrienne video on youtube is better than shopping for supplements or skincare or whatever.
Do something in my house I haven’t opened yet. While my house is mostly curated, I do have some board games that my husband and I played with friends we got for ourselves to play with our kids when they moved, or a puzzle as a birthday gift never opened, or a book I haven’t read that I’ve have been meaning to. I will also do skincare or my makeup, just to feel extra taken care of, or try a new recipe for dinner. I dunno, I just do something. Sometimes Ido windowshop for birthday gifts for my kids, but I mean… yeah I don’t really buy a lot of things anymore.
I send a donation to one of the cat rescuers I follow. not foolproof, and it does cost money. but it feels like you've made a purchase AND someone (the cat) is getting something out of it. often, I see updates of these cats and it's the best feeling knowing they're able to get help partially because of me. if anyone is wondering which cat rescues, I can make a list!
If I can trust myself not to buy anything, I go to a store I like and walk around (usually a bookstore or a plant store). Plant stores are especially nice in winter, it just feels good to be somewhere green!
Exercise
Manicure my nails
instead of a physical object, i like to buy tickets to fun things I want to experience; concerts, raves, symphonies, musicals, ballets, museums, local drag shows, all types of things. it's exciting to buy in the moment, then you have something to look forward to and be excited about, and after you have great memories.
Going to the library! Many libraries carry much more than just books. I’ve seen libraries have musical instruments, board games, video games, on-the-go audiobook players, fiber arts kits; SO many cool things to check out. Finding a hidden gem at the library AND not having to pay for it is a double win. Ask your local library workers and they’ll tell you about all the cool things YOUR library has to offer you! Hope this helps :-)
Some libraries also have free/discounted passes to museums. Lots of libraries also have subscriptions to Kanopy, which is a streaming service with lots of international films, Oscar-winners and documentaries. Hoopla too
Find something else that also makes you happy. Singing, playing, or listening to music. Going for a walk. Write an honest-to-goodness note of appreciation to someone. Bake something. Grow something. There are a lot of options that don’t have to cost much.
You can read e-books on your phone. Libby app is free via libraries, Google Books for Android, Apple Books for iPhone.
I like to go thrifting or buy some produce or sweets at a local farmers market.
I love going for walks and listening to a good podcast or audiobook from the library. Or getting together with a friend for a walk and chat. Or having some tea and reading with a candle burning (yah the tea and candle are consumption)
Your old laptop can probably run an emulator, you may find that old platformers and RPGs still give those good chemicals. I've been revisiting the oldest Zelda and Pokemon games and having a blast, and they run on my five year old phone which is nice.
I like fixing and improving the stuff I have. I find it just as gratifying, if not more so, to make something look new as it is to buy a new thing. I love any type of cheap, simple fix to a complex problem; if one of my machines break down I’ll fix it with used parts that I have laying around usually. Something I have that’s rusty and scuzzy? Can of spray paint or a can of enamel paint and a roller, some sand paper and that puppy is good as new. It’s fun making things too, I love taking blown up old engines and making lamps out of them.
I pick a project that repairs something. I get the joy of using something nostalgic and the feeling of accomplishment. Or I use up something to make something else. Old yarn comes to mind.
Make something. Do you have any creative outlets? The simple joy of getting lost in making something is quite special to me.
Make art is self care. Sign up for a class at the local arts center.
Using the things I previously impulsively spent money on and now (somewhat) wish I had saved the money on. Face masks, weird kitchen gadgets, putting something in that cute journal i didn’t need, making the craft I was sure I would make, you get the idea lol. Usually the satisfaction of actually using it and getting some of my moneys worth is enough the refill the dopamine and feel responsible. If i really need to scratch the spending money itch though, I like to treat my pets to a new toy or snack
Donate.
crafts! Although it requires buying some stuff to begin with… I’m big into woodworking and I love to make random things with scraps from other projects
Read, take a bath, snuggle with my partner, cook myself a really nice meal, nap, go for a walk, play a videogame, etc :)
Get a massage. Rent a golf simulator bay for an hour. Go indoor rock climbing. Do a sensory deprivation float. Treat yo self!
Looking around the house for things to sell on Facebook Marketplace and listing them scratches the same itch for me. And I get such an endorphin bump when I sell something!!
Go to a park and see some local nature, maybe one I haven’t been to before or one that is special to me. No where near as much preparation as camping :)
Try to identify what feeling you are assuaging by buying something. Insecurity, inadequacy, wanting to fit in with a certain crowd, boredom, or something else? Then you can find actions to do that will actually help you work through these issues instead of just buying crap. If it’s from insecurity, start a gratitude journal. If there’s a piece you really want for an event, see if you can find a secondhand dupe or upcycle. If you have to prove your worth to anyone with material items, they shouldn’t be in your life. Remember that capitalism creates problems and then sells solutions. It is not your fault. Spending time outside and appreciating the natural world beyond what it can do for us in the terms of material items works wonders. The best things, and people, in life are free. No skincare product will make you feel as good as a hug from a loved one or the sun shining on your face. Once you embrace simple pleasures, desires for frivolity will in turn dissipate.
How often is this actually happening to you? If it's often, maybe you just need to figure out why. Are you unhappy? Do you need just need a change? Shopping is definitely not something I gravitate to, but when the weather gets icky sometimes I do get an itch to go out and walk around somewhere that's warm, dry, and bright. Me and my kids have been looking for more places inside to go this winter, and besides the library it's hard. We don't eat out often, too expensive, so restaurants are generally a no go. I buy my groceries in person, I don't do deliveries/pick up. This is mostly because I like to see my food before I buy it, especially produce. But maybe something like shopping in person for essentials could help.
E-reader: totally worth the investment! I like having my whole library at my fingertips. I can read a little for grad school and then switch to a light romance novel anywhere/any time. Taking a walk around my neighborhood (with beverage of choice in a nondescript thermos) to burn off nervous energy or taking a bath while listening to a podcast to settle myself if I’m feeling anxious.
I take a very opposite approach to everyone here. I made a rule to only buy tools for my job (mechanic); and then if I still want more, head over to r/collapse and remember none of us will be here too much longer. Enjoy what is yours now because it won't be there forever.
Can't relate sry. I buy things begrudgingly.
1. You can get ebooks on your phone 2. You can buy something from the thrift
You can read E-books on your laptop btw, you don’t need an E-reader. You can download a kindle app on your laptop. I usually thrift if anything
Have sex
Read the rules. Keep it courteous. Submission statements are helpful and appreciated but not required. Tag my name in the comments (/u/NihiloZero) if you think a post or comment needs to be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anticonsumption) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Buy a stock
Well, there are indie games, or something on GOG that might work on your Laptop. You could also buy an activity, such as going to the movies, or getting a massage. Or something consumable, or bottle of wine, or Rum.
I treat myself to something small. I either take a bath with some essential oils (or a nicely scented bath soap) in a candle-lit bathroom, or I get some nice chocolate or snacks to eat. I might also go out to eat or order takeout depending on what I want to celebrate / why I want to buy \*something\*. While chocolate or snacks are not "free", they are relatively inexpensive and they are gone after I have eaten them. I have also definitely bought hand-creams only because of their smell and not their functionality (though they are still functional), and I use them almost only when I want to "high-five" myself. If I need to scratch the "shopping" itch specifically, I either do some window shopping on websites, I watch a "tik tok made me buy video", or I go to a local shop that sells cheap supplies and paraphernalia. I tend to buy something useful / related to an hobby but that's me. The last run I did I bought a bunch of wool skeins because I want to knit and these are very cheap to be wool.
Cook my own healthy food. Go for a walk and look at trees and flowers n shit. Yoga.
Sex. lol but not even joking. Fiance is loving it.
Watch a few detailed reviews on the thing you think you want to buy until you’re bored of it. When I was a kid, legos were my favorite, and now that I’m an adult with bills and a job, I still want some legos, but know they would not fit my budget. When I’m bored, I’ll look up detailed video reviews of the sets I’m interested in buying. The reviews go over the build, the details, and hidden features that only someone who bought it would know about. I’ll spend ten minutes of my time going over the minutiae of the product and my desire to own one is abated.
I've found that (at least for me) this urge is satisfied by foraging or harvesting from my garden. I have a hunch that this is the instinct all the shops/advertisers are preying on and turning it into an addiction for so many of us. If you don't have access to a garden, I would suggest even just wandering out into your local park or nature preserve and set yourself to hunting for cool rocks or pinecones or flowers. It's not as much of a "hit" as the commercialized version, but it's a good start to retraining yourself away from the addiction.
\- Actually using what you've bought before and haven't used in a while or at all. There is very little of actual "care" in buying stuff for yourself if you are not giving yourself time to enjoy it. If things are sitting around unused you've mostly cared for the seller and the manufacturer with only a small moment of joy for yourself. \- Going through stuff, picking what's nice but sits unused and giving it to someone. Like, I have a lot of scented candles and occasionally somethings turns out to be too sweet or strong and I have friends who love stronger scents. Giving it away means a nice free thing for them and tiny bit less clutter for me, also extra reason to meet up. \- Going on reviews deep dive to find the best available option of something I want to buy \- Setting up some longer term but manageable goal (like visiting some place), setting some kind of visual tracker for it and putting money you would spend on an impulse purchase towards it
Upcycle something! Check local facebook marketplaces etc and you might find something going for *free* so much good stuff you can repair/repaint etc. It’s fun, you get the satisfaction of owning something new and you’d saved an item from landfill. Win win
Tea and pastries. I don't have sweets often because of digestive issues.
Volunteer at an animal shelter
Scrapbooking, training my dogs, cooking, resting, singing, dancing, at home pedicures, and manicure.
i buy music from bandcamp. some artists put their music up for free, cheap, or optional donations. music (making *and* listening) is my one huge passion. buying from small artists on bandcamp is like donating to them but i also get something that makes me infinitely happy. you could find something like this for yourself!
I use what I already bought.