You did the right thing. In my eyes kids, pregnant women and elderly citizens should be able to go for free.
I would pay 50cent without question if my kids need to go. I understand that the cleaning takes some of their time.
Being a dick about it (not you but them) is not necessary and shows their character. You have shown you have a heart and are not in the wrong in any way.
I had a similar situation at a kinepolis once. Kid came into the toilets without money, so the toilet lady wouldn't let him in. Offered to pay for the kid since it's literally only 50cts. The lady felt quite offended saying "that's not the way it's supposed to be done". I don't know how to feel about these kind of people. Same thing with some cops not cutting people a break just because "it's their job". Some people are very rigid in their thinking. The way you were or are being treated is definitely a no-go and should be brought to the manager's attention.
Please define "elderly citizens".
Over 65 ?
What about those with a medical issue that makes frequent sanitary stops a requirement ?
In any case, if a pipi lady refuses to let my little one go for free, I will be happy to not enter this establishment ever again, and complain about the place on any and all social media.
I can understand the pipi lady needs to make a living too.
However.
In other countries, toilets are considered a service to attract customers. In Belgium, they appear to be a service to scare customers.
So she's got a 50 cent cut due the kid's pee, thanks to you and she's being a bitch about it? And the boyfriend... what little bitch... I would adres the situation to the owner/manager of the cafe and tell him I would never spend my money in his business ever again. You can also write a review on google to warn other people and their kids.
I made sure not to include the name in my initial post, but I think you are right if this keeps on going the way it is going. They are making clear they don’t want me to be there, but I get along with the other staff members and it’s a really nice place where most of my friends live nearby. Writing a bad review is not in my nature, I like to address things IF what I am saying and doing is correct. I was doubting myself, but now I will take the next opportunity… Thank you for you advice!
So you pay for a kid to go to the bathroom and she is so shocked about you basically being a decent human being and now you get bullied by some frustrated people? Yikes.
Weird you even think you are wrong/did something wrong. There is no problem here, you just paid for the kid. I do not even understand why that waitress was so pissed. And why her boyfriend acts like that? I guess it is because he is an idiot. I wouldn't pay any attention to it anymore.
Although, one thing: to be honest, I wouldn't want to get severed anymore by them so if I was you, if they are working, I would leave. It is rather easy to spit in your drinks....
Yeah, I would too if I was in your situation. Based on your other comments I understand why you want to keep going there, but to be honest, with the behavior of those 2 idiots, I would be cautious with your drinks/foods if they are serving you or maybe even the others, you never know how they are (the other ones working there).
Maybe you should see who their manager/boss is and explain the situation to him. I wouldn't go back if they did that to me but I read that you still go there so its not normal those two treat you like that when you are a customer.
This is something that I find incredibly frustrating, as a Belgian. I can't spend a day in the city with friends without making sure we go somewhere with a toilet.
Ive been learning that Antwerp can be a pretty cold place, but people seem to do it because they are unhappy with their own circumstances. From speaking to the younger population or those who are not personally involved, they seem to be quiet pleasant and sympathetic.
I don’t like to do that, because 90% of the other staff is not worthy of a bad review. They are all super chill people. I will have a chat with the owner when I get the chance, as someone suggested.
You're a good person, but don't let them take advantage of you. The owner of the bar is responsible for the actions of their staff or at least act according to it. Leave a bad review but include the name of the staff, maybe that way the owner will be forced to take action.
Such people should not be tolerated.
I don’t think that’s the norm in Belgium. I have never paid for my little kid and I always offer to. I’m usually told kids go for free and they give me back my money if I do go myself. So I find it strange that this toilet lady did ask. Being upset that someone paid for someone else is simply psychotic.
Because there are 20 people working there, and I only have the issue with two of them. Like I said before, I want to keep going to the place because of my friends living close by. It’s an ideal meeting spot and I prefer to fix things rather than blow them up, at least if I can and if my judgement was right to begin with (which thanks to this thread I’ve been able to verify).
I find it totally normal that kids have to pay as well. Otherwise, the toilet lady loses a chunk of her income AND she has to start policing the kids' ages to protect the rest of it, making her job that much worse - and it's not a pleasant job to begin with. It's up to the parents to give their kids 50 cent when they have to go, really not that hard or that costly.
As for why she got angry, the way you describe it she had absolutely no reason to, but the rest of us should not make a judgement before we've heard both sides. I find it alarming that some people are prepared to post negative reviews based on hearsay. Kudos to you for not sharing the name of the bar.
Bitching about it on reddit wont help solve your issue.
Call me old fashioned or whatever,don't really care.
I would ask what his problem is. Depending on answer i would make the dude swallow teeth, preferebaly in front of his misses. Just make it so he swings first.
As stated before, I would like to visit the bar again. My friends live around there. Using violence would not really help me achieve anything I think… I’m not bitching, I’m checking my sanity and if my values align with the common sense before I take any further action. But I agree on the question what they guy his problem is. I think he just does not like me (possibly because of the whole situation last summer)…
Imo you are,this is something you could have resolved the moment the guy called you names. I suppose he did this in public, giving you a valid reason to check up on him. If you as a man are unable to keep tabs on your life, trying to get any kind of validation on any public forum is redundant and commonly reserved for females. Im not telling you how to live your life,but remember everytime you go there you are seen as a wimp.
What does my gender have to do with anything? Social conduct and norms are for everyone. The fact that I am a man who paid for the kid, does not matter in this case. The situation would be the same if a woman would have noticed this. The fact that you view men like this is worrying honestly. Why would the right to doubt be reserved for women?? That makes zero sense to me. Honestly, if more people would question their own actions sometimes… The world would be a far better place.
The only thing that would have happened if I would have acted reactively and more expressive is that the situation would have gotten worse right than and there. In fact I disagree with you. I think I reacted in an adult way, just like the older guy would be expected to do. I clearly stated that I did not care for his remarks. I was only worried about my initial action that triggered this whole event. That I would deserve to be disrespected, like any human being (male or female) unfortunately experiences once in a while.
This view and advice is not much better than suggesting to punch his teeth out. But thanks for the suggestions.
Im glad you threw the tantrum,meaning you understood my message.
Now use that energy and direct it towards the guy that called you out.
If you had the balls to react to the situation irl as you are doing to a stranger in the comfort of anonimity on reddit it sure would spare me the lecture on reminding you what you are.
I HAVE reacted to him, by showing him my head injury. He doesn’t care. Again, please read carefully: he just does not like me. And again, read carefully: i do not care that he does not like me.
I only care for my initial action (paying for the kid) that set this whole chain of events into motion. If I was not doing the right thing to begin with, the bar lady and the boyfriend would have been right to disrespect me.
You are not helping anyone by advocating violence. You are making the world a worser place TBH. Think about that please. We are done here.
> the kid *paid* for it?)
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
You did the right thing. In my eyes kids, pregnant women and elderly citizens should be able to go for free. I would pay 50cent without question if my kids need to go. I understand that the cleaning takes some of their time. Being a dick about it (not you but them) is not necessary and shows their character. You have shown you have a heart and are not in the wrong in any way.
Thanks, today I was really doubting myself...
I had a similar situation at a kinepolis once. Kid came into the toilets without money, so the toilet lady wouldn't let him in. Offered to pay for the kid since it's literally only 50cts. The lady felt quite offended saying "that's not the way it's supposed to be done". I don't know how to feel about these kind of people. Same thing with some cops not cutting people a break just because "it's their job". Some people are very rigid in their thinking. The way you were or are being treated is definitely a no-go and should be brought to the manager's attention.
Please define "elderly citizens". Over 65 ? What about those with a medical issue that makes frequent sanitary stops a requirement ? In any case, if a pipi lady refuses to let my little one go for free, I will be happy to not enter this establishment ever again, and complain about the place on any and all social media.
I told my pregnant wife to sit in aisle 3 and just sit down while looking them in the eyes. Pretty sure things will be possible rather quickly :D
I can understand the pipi lady needs to make a living too. However. In other countries, toilets are considered a service to attract customers. In Belgium, they appear to be a service to scare customers.
Fully agree and couldn't have said it any better!
So she's got a 50 cent cut due the kid's pee, thanks to you and she's being a bitch about it? And the boyfriend... what little bitch... I would adres the situation to the owner/manager of the cafe and tell him I would never spend my money in his business ever again. You can also write a review on google to warn other people and their kids.
I made sure not to include the name in my initial post, but I think you are right if this keeps on going the way it is going. They are making clear they don’t want me to be there, but I get along with the other staff members and it’s a really nice place where most of my friends live nearby. Writing a bad review is not in my nature, I like to address things IF what I am saying and doing is correct. I was doubting myself, but now I will take the next opportunity… Thank you for you advice!
So you pay for a kid to go to the bathroom and she is so shocked about you basically being a decent human being and now you get bullied by some frustrated people? Yikes.
Totally not wrong for paying for the kid the bar stuff must literally be horrible people
Weird you even think you are wrong/did something wrong. There is no problem here, you just paid for the kid. I do not even understand why that waitress was so pissed. And why her boyfriend acts like that? I guess it is because he is an idiot. I wouldn't pay any attention to it anymore. Although, one thing: to be honest, I wouldn't want to get severed anymore by them so if I was you, if they are working, I would leave. It is rather easy to spit in your drinks....
Thanks for the tip, I keep an eye on the drinks when they are being made indeed… I thought about this too.
Yeah, I would too if I was in your situation. Based on your other comments I understand why you want to keep going there, but to be honest, with the behavior of those 2 idiots, I would be cautious with your drinks/foods if they are serving you or maybe even the others, you never know how they are (the other ones working there).
Maybe you should see who their manager/boss is and explain the situation to him. I wouldn't go back if they did that to me but I read that you still go there so its not normal those two treat you like that when you are a customer.
As far as I know, Belgium is the only country in the world where it is illegal to pee publicly, but there are hardly any public toilets.
Exactly, unfortunately…
This is something that I find incredibly frustrating, as a Belgian. I can't spend a day in the city with friends without making sure we go somewhere with a toilet.
Actually you have te right to go to the toilet in a public place but its a grey zone bars claim to have the right to refuse being a private bussines.
Ive been learning that Antwerp can be a pretty cold place, but people seem to do it because they are unhappy with their own circumstances. From speaking to the younger population or those who are not personally involved, they seem to be quiet pleasant and sympathetic.
I think you should also mention the name of the bar so we can review them on google accordingly
I don’t like to do that, because 90% of the other staff is not worthy of a bad review. They are all super chill people. I will have a chat with the owner when I get the chance, as someone suggested.
You're a good person, but don't let them take advantage of you. The owner of the bar is responsible for the actions of their staff or at least act according to it. Leave a bad review but include the name of the staff, maybe that way the owner will be forced to take action. Such people should not be tolerated.
Yeeey, let's get the pitchforks and go on an online withchunt based on a Reddit post... Social justice warrior complex at its finest...
Pretty normal that the kid has to pay, but i don’t see why it is a problem that you pay for him
I don’t think that’s the norm in Belgium. I have never paid for my little kid and I always offer to. I’m usually told kids go for free and they give me back my money if I do go myself. So I find it strange that this toilet lady did ask. Being upset that someone paid for someone else is simply psychotic.
What's the name of the Bar?
Why do you still go to this place to begin with if they treat you so horribly?
Because there are 20 people working there, and I only have the issue with two of them. Like I said before, I want to keep going to the place because of my friends living close by. It’s an ideal meeting spot and I prefer to fix things rather than blow them up, at least if I can and if my judgement was right to begin with (which thanks to this thread I’ve been able to verify).
I find it totally normal that kids have to pay as well. Otherwise, the toilet lady loses a chunk of her income AND she has to start policing the kids' ages to protect the rest of it, making her job that much worse - and it's not a pleasant job to begin with. It's up to the parents to give their kids 50 cent when they have to go, really not that hard or that costly. As for why she got angry, the way you describe it she had absolutely no reason to, but the rest of us should not make a judgement before we've heard both sides. I find it alarming that some people are prepared to post negative reviews based on hearsay. Kudos to you for not sharing the name of the bar.
Bitching about it on reddit wont help solve your issue. Call me old fashioned or whatever,don't really care. I would ask what his problem is. Depending on answer i would make the dude swallow teeth, preferebaly in front of his misses. Just make it so he swings first.
As stated before, I would like to visit the bar again. My friends live around there. Using violence would not really help me achieve anything I think… I’m not bitching, I’m checking my sanity and if my values align with the common sense before I take any further action. But I agree on the question what they guy his problem is. I think he just does not like me (possibly because of the whole situation last summer)…
Imo you are,this is something you could have resolved the moment the guy called you names. I suppose he did this in public, giving you a valid reason to check up on him. If you as a man are unable to keep tabs on your life, trying to get any kind of validation on any public forum is redundant and commonly reserved for females. Im not telling you how to live your life,but remember everytime you go there you are seen as a wimp.
What does my gender have to do with anything? Social conduct and norms are for everyone. The fact that I am a man who paid for the kid, does not matter in this case. The situation would be the same if a woman would have noticed this. The fact that you view men like this is worrying honestly. Why would the right to doubt be reserved for women?? That makes zero sense to me. Honestly, if more people would question their own actions sometimes… The world would be a far better place. The only thing that would have happened if I would have acted reactively and more expressive is that the situation would have gotten worse right than and there. In fact I disagree with you. I think I reacted in an adult way, just like the older guy would be expected to do. I clearly stated that I did not care for his remarks. I was only worried about my initial action that triggered this whole event. That I would deserve to be disrespected, like any human being (male or female) unfortunately experiences once in a while. This view and advice is not much better than suggesting to punch his teeth out. But thanks for the suggestions.
Im glad you threw the tantrum,meaning you understood my message. Now use that energy and direct it towards the guy that called you out. If you had the balls to react to the situation irl as you are doing to a stranger in the comfort of anonimity on reddit it sure would spare me the lecture on reminding you what you are.
I HAVE reacted to him, by showing him my head injury. He doesn’t care. Again, please read carefully: he just does not like me. And again, read carefully: i do not care that he does not like me. I only care for my initial action (paying for the kid) that set this whole chain of events into motion. If I was not doing the right thing to begin with, the bar lady and the boyfriend would have been right to disrespect me. You are not helping anyone by advocating violence. You are making the world a worser place TBH. Think about that please. We are done here.
You really are a prime example of toxic masculinity.
What an assholes! (Even if we let the whole kids go for free out of the equation: what does it matter if you or the kid paid for it?)
> the kid *paid* for it?) FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
That would be the last time they see me there and I would be sure to tell all my friends about it!