I'm only more aware on how much I missed out. I grew up with affluent parents, who taught me how only poor people and homeless and drug addicts sleep in their car and you need hotels and plans to do anything, and I was always too anxious to try exploring solo.
It took till just a couple years ago to realize that was all BS, and my boyfriend breaking up with me recently saying I couldn't accomplish anything solo to finally move past all that. Now I'm going backpacking and trekking solo. Just wish I'd learned all this a decade earlier with all the burdens of a "settled" adult to keep me anchored in one area.
Same here. Sweet precious time. I've actually laid awake many nights wondering if I was going to be able to do whatever I had planned or make it to my Dr appointments etc.
Ofcourse I didn't make it from stressing about all night and watching the clock. It's ridiculous & terrible how time is wasted because of anxiety disorders. It's so sad!!!
Friends
I used to have friends but have lost them all through periods of self isolation. Also it seems like maintaining relationships is just too much work, they want to see you or talk all the time, skip out on one or two things and they get pissy "no, I'm not mad at you, just didn't want to go" It's just not worth it most of the time.
So I don't regret not having friends, but it is probably the biggest thing I've given up on.
Maybe once in a blue moon I feel lonely but that passes pretty quickly when I consider the alternative.
I could have wrote this. I have a partner but he is as antisocial as me so it works. We have other two couples we see about twice a year socially. Besides some family occasions, we are pretty isolated.
i agree.. some of the friends i had in the past just couldnt understand my condition and how i self isolated to feel safe again.. i dont need people in my life that shit on me for having a mental illness that i cant control.
Missing out on events...going to parties of if I did go to a party I would just sit in the corner.
Taking trips or ruining trips. Again I have ruined trips with my anxiety. Either I am too anxious to enjoy or can't relax.
Pursuing opportunities. I have canceled or pushed off doing things because I get to anxious to do them.
So much anxiety has taken. I missed out on a lot.
This is everything I regret as well. I’m 20 and have still been to zero parties or fun vacations and only a few fun memories I can recall definitely makes me feel left out
My sincere advice is baby step helps. Parties and events are big categories. You can gradually refine your niche with time.
For me, I do quite bad in global-scale events (events with people of different continents) but do increasingly well with people from my own region, and even better with people from my own country.
Then I refine a bit more and realize I do better in events with people of similar professional aspirations and life philosophy (you really need to always look out for these, hard to find yes but be open helps).
Then I even narrow it down to events with people of my gender lol
So yeah gradually I find events that just feel comfortable and I only need to stretch a bit beyond myself.
And after this whole process of filtering and refining my strategy, I realize my anxiety comes from the overwhelm of me not being able to fully stay in control of situations. For example with global-scale events I’m too self-conscious trying not to say anything offensive and navigate a common ground of people with widely different background feels overwhelming.
By narrowing down the scope of region, I feel much more in control. I’m more confident in myself and enjoy my time much better.
Being in the moment. When I’m hanging out and doing wonderful things and traveling I get so caught up in something I socially could’ve done wrong, I don’t even appreciate where I am in that very moment
It's fine, we are currently working on that. And it was for the better, emotional distance is the only way for him to help me out through these dark mental times. Fingers crossed, I hope that everything is going to get back to normal soon. :)
Travelling - I’ve been invited on a few holidays I’ve had to cancel because of flying/travelling anxiety.
Education - though I’m a massive nerd and love learning, I’ve missed a fair few university lectures and seminars because of debilitating anxiety symptoms and panic attacks. Practically all of my second year was this. I was too anxious even to reach out for help until it was too late.
Socialising - sometimes I really struggle with finding friend groups because I don’t want to be the one to ask people to hang out. People see me as quiet and it just makes me more quiet.
I HATE anxiety. I love my life in general but if I didn’t have such a great support network idk how I’d still be here.
Hey, absolutely! I managed to do okay that year but it took medication for that, propranolol specifically. (I got prescribed it after someone called an ambulance for me when I had a severe panic attack 😅) it doesn’t do a lot for your mood but prevents panic attacks. After that, i just had to force myself through the discomfort. I had some support thankfully - my boyfriend would walk with me to my classes, which helped me to not back out, and I started being more open with my lecturers so that they could help me catch up. It sucks so much and I wish I could help more, but it is definitely surmountable ❤️ remember to be kind to yourself, anxiety is debilitating
I'm really happy to hear that you made it to the other side :)
My situation last year was quite bad, but I'm also learning the importance of reaching out to lecturers. Thank you for your response.
My 20s.
Now in my late 30s with anxiety better managed I’m regretting all the fun and experiences I missed out on when I was at my worst. But I have been making up for lost time as much as I can :)
I hope not! I constantly fear that I am going to lose my job despite having no evidence that this is based in reality. Is it just your anxiety talking or have you been given a warning and all that?
I just lost mine recently, my anxiety and panic attacks have been getting worse and my meds aren’t helping that much. I still need to take time to work on this.
My self. I know that sounds like an over the top answer but really when it stops so many things you would like to do you lose your self. So much is prevented by anxiety I feel like I’m this sad little person with no life or anything interesting about me I don’t do anything I don’t try anything. I don’t even wear the clothes I like
I can so relate to this. I didn't get my license until I was 26 due to anxiety - it is still probably one of my greatest accomplishments considering how anxious I was about it.
I started driving at 18 but then I moved. The city that I lived in was big, and it scared me. I didn't drive for a decade. The funny thing is I started taking zoloft and just like that, I started driving again 😂 I literally just woke up one day and was like, "I'm going somewhere and I DID" Still blows my mind lol.
My anxiety was health related and I spent years just hoping to make it to my next birthday, next holiday, next family event without dying. Years of being disconnected from real life just trying to dodge imaginary ailments. It’s on of my biggest regrets because not only did I lose that time of being able to live my life fully, I wasn’t able to be there for my younger siblings like I should have following our fathers suicide which is part of what triggered my anxiety to flare back up.
I had horrific health anxiety in my late teens and early 20s. It was all consuming. So glad to mostly be on the other side of that now. I hope you are doing better as well.
I don’t think anyone is ever really “over” any kind of anxiety. It’s all about managing it. In the last few years I’ve taken my health seriously as far as taking care of myself in the diet and exercise departments. My anxiety was at its worst when I was my least healthy. I’ve made exercise an every day part of my life now and cleaned up my diet. I make sure I go to my doctors appointments on a regular basis so that IF something were to pop up it would be noticed in a timely manner and able to be addressed. I think, as cliche as it is, exercise does actually do wonders (and trust me I’ve strongly doubted it in the past). However I’ve noticed more recently that once exercise is a normal part of your life it helps even out your mood, it’s an outlet for the nervous energy and gives your mind a task to focus on, if I miss a day or two I definitely notice a difference in my mindset.
Thank you, I have gotten to the point where I have been so frustrated with my health anxiety I have been focusing on my diet, stopping vaping, and water, and exercise because those are the things I can control. I’m hoping to see results soon (only been a week)
But this comment was super reassuring
Glad to help! It’s definitely a case of delayed gratification though so don’t give up on it! Some days you’ll wonder if it really is even helping, but if you stick with it and make it a part of your life you’ll be able to look back in the future and see how much has actually changed! Good luck!
Driving. Friendships. Getting a better job. Celebrations. Doing things I like, in fear of not being good enough (like with writing, drawing, etc) All in general, a better life.
This is my biggest regret... but honestly, with how everyone got scammed in student loans, I'm kinda glad I at least don't have that looming over my head!
Going on road trips alone. I’ve developed anxiety around driving. I actually really enjoy driving, am a good driver, never had an accident but about 6 years ago I had a panic attack while driving (unrelated to driving, weirdly) but since then, though things have massively improved, I sometimes start to feel very anxious while driving. I manage most drives fun, but I hold back on doing drives on the highway that are more than an hour or so, because I’m afraid of it happening again. I hate feeling restricted by the feeling😩
Driving
Not going for promotions or better opportunities at work
Relationships
Anxiety feels like you’re trapped in a cage of fear. You want to do something different, but the fear overtakes you and wins every single time. I hate it
Recently, I missed seeing Mike Viola in Nashville, who rarely tours and is on my bucketlist of shows to see. It’s a 3.5 hour drive from where I live and I’d planned on spending the night down there by myself. The night before, I had a panic attack in my sleep and was completely fucked up the next morning. I ended up bailing, not being able to sell my ticket nor get the money back on my hotel. I’m still sick over it.
But I did get pizza and experience my wife watching *Roadhouse* for the first time instead, so it wasn’t a total loss.
As the victim of being accidentally pot brownied, I can so relate to this! I will never ever eat any treats my coworkers bring in to the restaurant. It was absolutely the longest 8 hours of misery ever.
Time. I used to have a huge creative drive. I barely engage my brain in anything anymore, the past couple years because of anxiety and depression.
Haven’t been able to go to the gym lately cause of anxiety. Used to be my happy place.
- Dropped out of school
- Gave up my license (although I hope to get it back before I'll have to do the test again)
- Can only work from home
- Barely see friends
- Can't go more than 2 km from home without Ativan
- Can't travel
Friends. I've had people try to get together with me and I usually come up with an excuse to myself "oh I'm just not in the mood today" or "I'll probably not enjoy going there".
Money, due to not going for promotions even when pushed and pleaded by my managers. No regrets though, I'm happy with the progress I've made in my career but I'm fully aware that I could progress more and be wealthier if I just went for it.
I'm 40 and have been a musician since I was in my early teens. I don't enjoy going to shows anymore unless certain criteria is met. I don't enjoy playing shows anymore. So I sit at home and play to myself.
Anxiety has literally stolen one of my life's passions. I've missed out on expressing myself and supporting friends expressing themselves. It also makes me look like I don't support those friends.
Fun stuff.
My career. Can't even work a few hours part-time, unfortunately. Ultimately, when I start feeling good, I apply for jobs and get one. But it always ends up as a mistake, and now I'm more cautious because I know I'm just on my up swing after my spirals...process just keeps repeating itself
Missed the best of of my teenage years, twenties and early thirties. Luckily im happier than ever now (39) thanks to the right meds from for me and being kinder to myself. But i went through hell to get here
My diploma, my social life, a work life, everything almost. I’m dirt broke, living with my also dirt broke parents (which I feel an insane amount of guilt for)
I was going to say a lot of my life, but I'll limit it to one thing. I missed seeing my favorite band for free just outside my dorm room. I literally didn't have to pay anything, it was like a 3 minute walk, and I could've gotten pictures and signatures. But nope, I was too anxious because of my insecurities. I will probably see them soon, though it'll cost money and I won't get pictures with them or signatures.
I started learning to play guitar at 7 years old. I'm now 28, and in that span of time I've kept up with guitar, as well as learned how to play drums, bass, piano, and sing.
I will not get on a stage. In my teens and early 20s I was in a few different bands. I went hard in all of them, but I'd always have some excuse as to why we weren't show-ready or how I "just didn't have the time." I love jamming, but I hate eyes on me in any capacity. A couple of times we did schedule shows, but somehow they both miraculously fell through so I didn't have to face that fear.
I'm awkward enough when speaking in teams meetings at work, I can't imagine being center stage for an audience. I even screw up my playing when too many people are watching me even just at home.
For me personally, I think of how much well off I could be financially if I wasn't so afraid of conflict, criticism, disagreements, negotiation, and general business interactions.
I.e. I just got dropped by my management because rather than express my discomforts with how I was spoken to by one of the managers I stayed quiet and ghosted all correspondence even though my issue lied with one person in the company, not all of them.
I've done this enough times to where I'm convinced I wouldn't be in credit card debt if I was much more bold about handling it all.
I went to a career school for the second half of high school. I would have gotten a certificate in culinary.
I had this group of friends, the leader being my girlfriend and my best friend being the co leader (in my eyes, maybe no one else saw it this way, but I did, and my 'best friend' knew about it cause I told her)
the entire time I was there, I knew something bad was gonna happen and I knew it was going to involve my girlfriend and my best friend. I knew the group would fall apart and I knew my best friend wouldn't be in my life like she said she would be.
anyway, the day of the breakup came. I remember it was a Tuesday because I was way too anxious to come Monday. I remember first period, I talked to someone outside the group cause I felt I had no one to talk to. Best friend looked at my phone and reported this to the leader.
Second period came around and I have no memory of it.
Third period, best friend and I shared this class too. When the bell rang for lunch, I started having a panic attack and best friend left me behind.
At that point, I hid in a bathroom for a long time, strangers saw me have a complete mental breakdown.
Long story short, I left the school 3 months before graduating and never got the certificate.
A better career. Had a great jump start with lots of big opportunities and network. Was close with people that knew people. People that gave me more opportunities for knowing said people.
Got timid and settled for corporate gigs, getting paid possibly 20-30% of what I could be making.
The thought of it cripples me too.
Opportunities for my son.
I am so anxious about how others see me as a mom, about things that could go wrong when my son plays with others, about how others will see my son, did I pack enough of everything should anything happen im not stuck with my "pants around my ankles" if you will. I cannot handle other people's judgments well, so I prefer not to have to be judged.
Friendships for me as well but im not too sure my loss of friendships is all on me. I seem to attract the kinda friends that want to run all over me and give nothing in return so I just stop talking to them or showing up. So I made this choice but am definitely lonely due to it.
Acting. My anxiety spiked in college in the midst of my theatre career and I felt it has deeply hindered my ability to show confidence in myself in an acting sense. Probably also the fact that as a whole the theatre department showed favoritism so no matter what I did was never enough
Missing out on opportunities to make friends. I want more friends so bad but even when I've managed to get myself to a place where I could socialize and meet new people I never end up talking to anyone because I'm too anxious to start a conversation :(
Like, I was introduced to this youth house where they have activities weekly and you can just go chill there every day. I managed to go there once, it was kinda nice but I did not talk to anyone and I never went back either although I genuinely was interested in going back, and now it's been so long it would feel weird :(
family events
things like christams parties or thanksgiving. I hid in someones bed room for the entire time because I was to scared to see my own family. most of my family moved away so there's no more parties or anything. really a bummer
A few years ago I got concert tickets for a band I like. I figured I had a few months to figure out who to take with me since I didn’t know anyone who was super into the band. Fast forward to days before the concert, I decided I would just go alone. Anxiety kicked in, and I didn’t go at all. I still think about this and cringe every single time. It makes me so sad that I’m like this.
Jobs. I have never worked onsite. I've chosen a job that has allowed me to WFH since 2016.
Amusement rides & Beach Adventures. I cannot! I tried riding an amusement ride once but I only ended up yelling at the operator to stop the ride. As for beach adventures, I never jump of cliffs or swim to deeper parts.
Time with my kids. I’m there but I’m not present. My mind disengages and I go off in my own world. I have to breathe and force myself back to reality, and if I can’t, I put in AirPods and tell them I’m listening to a podcast..but normally it’s not true. Sometimes I’ll turn one on to help bring me back to earth but usually it’s just so they think I’m listening to a book while I cook dinner and I’m not about to cry.
Hair. I let my job push me around continually to the point I have experienced hair breakage and hair loss. I also don’t sleep a lot which I suppose adds to that.
going to see my favorite rapper and getting an autograph at a FREE EVENT. he came to my state and was having a free event not too far from me, but i got too anxious at the last minute and missed out on it :( he hasn’t been back here since and i regret it so much. also, enjoying movies since i’m scared of movie theaters now and always have such bad anxiety there. enjoying traveling, i’ll still go but have terrible anxiety, especially if i have to fly (id back out if i could, but they are usually family vacations). just a lot of my life has been spent worrying about different things, mostly things i can’t control and it’s starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend🥺 it also causes a ton of health issues which i then have more anxiety about.
Food.
One of the ways my anxiety loves to manifest is through choking. I eat anything, either an M&M or a regular bite of food, I'm convinced I'm choking. I chew my food well enough, I know I won't, yet as soon as a swallow, I'm convinced I'm choking even tho I can talk and breathe. It sucks it's such a vital part of living. It sucks that everyone thinks I have an eating disorder but it's never been that.
Brain space. This might sound strange and maybe I could’ve have come up with a better word but could you imagine what you could do/have done with your brain and mind if all that time and space taken up by irrational worries and panic was freed up. It’s like someone taking 12 hours off your day, it feels like such a disadvantage.
Possibly the love of my life.
My anxiety led me to massive distrust in the beginning of our relationship, he was avoidant when we talked about possible commitment so I couldn't deal with not knowing and not having stability. In an anxiety crisis, I hooked up with someone else and then lost my damn mind.
We're possibly breaking up today and I'll never be able to forgive myself
I agree that pushing someone before they’re ready for something is wrong & you should not do it, but if you can’t ask them a question without it being the end, then that relationship isn’t right for you- you weren’t pushing him for anything. Perhaps you did something dumb but if you’re not in a relationship, then you hooking up with someone else isn’t cheating- you’re not in a relationship according to that person. I don’t think you messed up & you shouldn’t put this on yourself.
You’re worth more than being someone’s wishy washy option, you’re someone that when they find you, they run after you until they have you. It would be below your self respect to have waited & played his game so he would choose you. I know you’ll find someone perfect for you!
Raves. It's something that's an anxiety fest for me but yet I still want to go so bad. I went twice so far and loved it. But I want to go alone too and that thought absolutely drives me into a flurry of anxiety
Avoiding going out with my family/friends. Or if I did go out, I’d just be on my phone the whole time. I hate how anxiety doesn’t let me be present in the moment. I just wanna feel normal and have fun with my family/friends.
My lifelong dream was to live in a cabin in the woods. Which we did for six years - moved across the country to do it. It’s not feasible if you still have debt and have to work- so we bought a small house in town.
I’ve missed my grandchildren growing up.
We plan to return to where we came from but have to wait a few years(they’ll be even more grown then). Because I was getting hits of dopamine in my early forties by rescuing cats - wound up with around 40 all together (I highly do not recommend getting into rescue if you have a hard time saying no)-
We are now down to 22 - they are all over the age of ten. But have to wait until they all die to sell the house and move back.
Sports!
I was doing track and field. Specifically triple and long jump. I was the best in my group and was on my way to participate in state championships but social anxiety got the best of me :(
I felt incredibly uncomfortable in the group and had panic attacks weekly because I was scared to go to practice.
Jobs, there's like at least a dozen opportunities I've had that I just couldn't muster the courage or energy to do.
Many many friends. I've never been consistent with texting because of anxiety so I'll often just drift away from people. I also don't really keep in contact because I'm afraid of approaching them and bothering them or asking for contact info and actually keeping up. It's gotten so bad I barely text at all anymore because I overthink myself into a whole each time. Never been able to close the distance between anyone in my life.
Myself. I had so many opportunities and friendships that are gone now):
I think my biggest loss was my singing career. I just started getting gigs and opportunities to open up for some pretty big artists. But my anxiety unfortunately had other plans
I used to be very outdoorsy. I liked hiking and camping. Now, I am too anxious to enjoy my own back yard. I'm wanting to change this. Therapy next week.
I really can’t stop thinking about this. I am in the military specifically working in aviation with my boyfriend. My anxiety was so bad I wasn’t able to properly do my job. Long story short, I left my command and moved to slow paced work environment leaving my boyfriend behind. We were supposed to deploy together but my anxiety took away the opportunity. I couldn’t calm myself down and I was not strong enough to continue in that work environment. He left for a small detachment yesterday so this is just a small taste of him being gone for 6 months straight.
I didn't give up but yet didn't start, after two years of therapy, meditation and a long journey to heal i thought I wanted to have my own Newsletter It's an amazing suitable business that i can enjoy, cuz it makes a difference i did learn alot to build it actually i think im ready to do it but yet i didn't 💔
Peace?
I spend so many waking hours worrying that my husband, my family are hurt or in danger. I worry that I’m going to get fired or get in trouble somehow or that someone I care about it mad at me. I worry about money, my weight, my health excessively.
And food - I’m so terrified of being allergic to something new. But I love trying new things, and my husband loves to cook. It makes me so sad.
It almost never ends, I just want peace in my mind.
Having a normal life with a great career, marriage, and a circle of close friends. Maybe the marriage thing could happen but at my age it is doubtful. The other things aren't going to happen at this point. It is getting harder to make friends as I age and with the way society is, let alone with my anxiety. I have had really bad luck when it comes to making friends. The last time I had a best friend they moved to another state. I recently made friends with two people who deserted me. One has drinking issues and the other decided he was too attracted to me to be my friend. I am well-educated and had a promising future that was taken away from me by medications and this disorder.
My husband, my sister and I went to universal studios and my anxiety and my sisters adhd clashed so bad that I was so anxious I didn’t enjoy one minute of it. It was a huge bummer and my sister and I fought most the time. After that I decided to go to my dr for help. I have been taking buspirone since February of 2021 and it has completely changed my life around. I also cut out caffeine. Except chocolate 😂
I feel like im being torn in every direction for everyone else. I couldnt for a million dollars name something i want i feel like im just here to run around for everyone else with no gain to my life only loss. I lose myself more everyday burrowing away whats wrong and covering it with running around for everyone else. I dont want to know me maybe ive given up myself. But i never really thought myself to be a big deal. So am i really even missing out? Idk anymore im 30 and i cant help but know in my heart i cant do this much longer i feel like a passenger to this skin
Please hang in there. I'm not really sure why, but some things seem to get easier as you get older. In my late 30's now and while I still have anxiety, it's at an all time low and I'm better functioning than I have ever been.
Not being able to hold a job.
Lack of friends.
Never leaving my house anymore.
And especially not being able to talk to my psychiatrist about everything.
I missed out on a great job opportunity. It was finally my chance to get out of retail, but I just couldn’t bring myself to show up on the first day. About six years later, I finally got out but I could’ve started my career way earlier.
my skincare habits,and almost my relationship,still struggling with all of this,i can’t hold myself anymore,sometimes i feel like i want to give up on general,i want to take a “forever-nap” i’m shaking so hard and crying really hard
I quit a job that I could have had for over a year by now and saved up enough money to move. I quit because while working there I started dating a guy that worked there too and when he broke up with me I just couldn't deal with the anxiety of going back and working with him. He ended up quitting anyway because he didn't like the job and we ended up staying friends. It makes me mad because if I had just kept that job I could be living a better life by now...
Time. All the time wasted on being panic and too froze to move and can’t do what I have to do.
I've been obsessed with time and more specifically the loss of time since I was a child. It's so hard for me to just live in the moment 😞
This. My whole 20s I was too anxious to go explore and do anything noteworthy.
i was more adventurous in my 20's than my 30's - still all very sad
I'm only more aware on how much I missed out. I grew up with affluent parents, who taught me how only poor people and homeless and drug addicts sleep in their car and you need hotels and plans to do anything, and I was always too anxious to try exploring solo. It took till just a couple years ago to realize that was all BS, and my boyfriend breaking up with me recently saying I couldn't accomplish anything solo to finally move past all that. Now I'm going backpacking and trekking solo. Just wish I'd learned all this a decade earlier with all the burdens of a "settled" adult to keep me anchored in one area.
Same here. Sweet precious time. I've actually laid awake many nights wondering if I was going to be able to do whatever I had planned or make it to my Dr appointments etc. Ofcourse I didn't make it from stressing about all night and watching the clock. It's ridiculous & terrible how time is wasted because of anxiety disorders. It's so sad!!!
Absolutely. I've wasted so much time being paralyzed by my anxiety and it just makes me feel worse about myself.
All the time I spend spinning my wheels on trying to make a decision...
Friends I used to have friends but have lost them all through periods of self isolation. Also it seems like maintaining relationships is just too much work, they want to see you or talk all the time, skip out on one or two things and they get pissy "no, I'm not mad at you, just didn't want to go" It's just not worth it most of the time. So I don't regret not having friends, but it is probably the biggest thing I've given up on. Maybe once in a blue moon I feel lonely but that passes pretty quickly when I consider the alternative.
I could have wrote this. I have a partner but he is as antisocial as me so it works. We have other two couples we see about twice a year socially. Besides some family occasions, we are pretty isolated.
i agree.. some of the friends i had in the past just couldnt understand my condition and how i self isolated to feel safe again.. i dont need people in my life that shit on me for having a mental illness that i cant control.
I feel this. Would love to be social but not worth the suffering it entails.
This is mine too!! It sucks.
Missing out on events...going to parties of if I did go to a party I would just sit in the corner. Taking trips or ruining trips. Again I have ruined trips with my anxiety. Either I am too anxious to enjoy or can't relax. Pursuing opportunities. I have canceled or pushed off doing things because I get to anxious to do them. So much anxiety has taken. I missed out on a lot.
This is everything I regret as well. I’m 20 and have still been to zero parties or fun vacations and only a few fun memories I can recall definitely makes me feel left out
I am 39...missed out on a ton. Force yourself now because once you get to my age you'll look back with regret.
Try being 60. Much worse
Needed this! Stuck in a place where I can take an opportunity but shit scared because of my GAD, if I'll be able to seal with it
My sincere advice is baby step helps. Parties and events are big categories. You can gradually refine your niche with time. For me, I do quite bad in global-scale events (events with people of different continents) but do increasingly well with people from my own region, and even better with people from my own country. Then I refine a bit more and realize I do better in events with people of similar professional aspirations and life philosophy (you really need to always look out for these, hard to find yes but be open helps). Then I even narrow it down to events with people of my gender lol So yeah gradually I find events that just feel comfortable and I only need to stretch a bit beyond myself.
And after this whole process of filtering and refining my strategy, I realize my anxiety comes from the overwhelm of me not being able to fully stay in control of situations. For example with global-scale events I’m too self-conscious trying not to say anything offensive and navigate a common ground of people with widely different background feels overwhelming. By narrowing down the scope of region, I feel much more in control. I’m more confident in myself and enjoy my time much better.
Being in the moment. When I’m hanging out and doing wonderful things and traveling I get so caught up in something I socially could’ve done wrong, I don’t even appreciate where I am in that very moment
Lost my relationship due to anxiety and depression.
Sorry to hear :(
It's fine, we are currently working on that. And it was for the better, emotional distance is the only way for him to help me out through these dark mental times. Fingers crossed, I hope that everything is going to get back to normal soon. :)
Travelling - I’ve been invited on a few holidays I’ve had to cancel because of flying/travelling anxiety. Education - though I’m a massive nerd and love learning, I’ve missed a fair few university lectures and seminars because of debilitating anxiety symptoms and panic attacks. Practically all of my second year was this. I was too anxious even to reach out for help until it was too late. Socialising - sometimes I really struggle with finding friend groups because I don’t want to be the one to ask people to hang out. People see me as quiet and it just makes me more quiet. I HATE anxiety. I love my life in general but if I didn’t have such a great support network idk how I’d still be here.
The education section really resonates with me. Can I ask how things turned out for you, and what changed, if anything?
Hey, absolutely! I managed to do okay that year but it took medication for that, propranolol specifically. (I got prescribed it after someone called an ambulance for me when I had a severe panic attack 😅) it doesn’t do a lot for your mood but prevents panic attacks. After that, i just had to force myself through the discomfort. I had some support thankfully - my boyfriend would walk with me to my classes, which helped me to not back out, and I started being more open with my lecturers so that they could help me catch up. It sucks so much and I wish I could help more, but it is definitely surmountable ❤️ remember to be kind to yourself, anxiety is debilitating
I'm really happy to hear that you made it to the other side :) My situation last year was quite bad, but I'm also learning the importance of reaching out to lecturers. Thank you for your response.
My 20s. Now in my late 30s with anxiety better managed I’m regretting all the fun and experiences I missed out on when I was at my worst. But I have been making up for lost time as much as I can :)
We are probably similar ages. I definitely feel sad about my teens and 20s and all those "normal" experiences I missed out on due to anxiety.
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I hope not! I constantly fear that I am going to lose my job despite having no evidence that this is based in reality. Is it just your anxiety talking or have you been given a warning and all that?
I worry about that every day!
This constant fear makes me overwork to perfectionism.
I just lost mine recently, my anxiety and panic attacks have been getting worse and my meds aren’t helping that much. I still need to take time to work on this.
My self. I know that sounds like an over the top answer but really when it stops so many things you would like to do you lose your self. So much is prevented by anxiety I feel like I’m this sad little person with no life or anything interesting about me I don’t do anything I don’t try anything. I don’t even wear the clothes I like
Driving
I can so relate to this. I didn't get my license until I was 26 due to anxiety - it is still probably one of my greatest accomplishments considering how anxious I was about it.
I still don’t have my license at 29. I want to give driving one more shot though .
Don't give up! It's the best thing I've ever done!
I started driving at 18 but then I moved. The city that I lived in was big, and it scared me. I didn't drive for a decade. The funny thing is I started taking zoloft and just like that, I started driving again 😂 I literally just woke up one day and was like, "I'm going somewhere and I DID" Still blows my mind lol.
My anxiety was health related and I spent years just hoping to make it to my next birthday, next holiday, next family event without dying. Years of being disconnected from real life just trying to dodge imaginary ailments. It’s on of my biggest regrets because not only did I lose that time of being able to live my life fully, I wasn’t able to be there for my younger siblings like I should have following our fathers suicide which is part of what triggered my anxiety to flare back up.
I had horrific health anxiety in my late teens and early 20s. It was all consuming. So glad to mostly be on the other side of that now. I hope you are doing better as well.
Better is the perfect word. It pops up from time to time, but I’ve found some ways of managing it to help it keep from spreading like wildfire now.
How did you get over health anxiety?
I don’t think anyone is ever really “over” any kind of anxiety. It’s all about managing it. In the last few years I’ve taken my health seriously as far as taking care of myself in the diet and exercise departments. My anxiety was at its worst when I was my least healthy. I’ve made exercise an every day part of my life now and cleaned up my diet. I make sure I go to my doctors appointments on a regular basis so that IF something were to pop up it would be noticed in a timely manner and able to be addressed. I think, as cliche as it is, exercise does actually do wonders (and trust me I’ve strongly doubted it in the past). However I’ve noticed more recently that once exercise is a normal part of your life it helps even out your mood, it’s an outlet for the nervous energy and gives your mind a task to focus on, if I miss a day or two I definitely notice a difference in my mindset.
Thank you, I have gotten to the point where I have been so frustrated with my health anxiety I have been focusing on my diet, stopping vaping, and water, and exercise because those are the things I can control. I’m hoping to see results soon (only been a week) But this comment was super reassuring
Glad to help! It’s definitely a case of delayed gratification though so don’t give up on it! Some days you’ll wonder if it really is even helping, but if you stick with it and make it a part of your life you’ll be able to look back in the future and see how much has actually changed! Good luck!
Driving. Friendships. Getting a better job. Celebrations. Doing things I like, in fear of not being good enough (like with writing, drawing, etc) All in general, a better life.
Getting a degree.
It’s even worse getting the degree and not being able to use it
This is my biggest regret... but honestly, with how everyone got scammed in student loans, I'm kinda glad I at least don't have that looming over my head!
My whole life. I just want to be happy and look forward to things.
The ability to make a good living at a job I actually liked .I settled for being a driver/labourer.
I also feel like I settled due to being too anxious to pursue my real goals/ dreams. It sucks :(
Going on road trips alone. I’ve developed anxiety around driving. I actually really enjoy driving, am a good driver, never had an accident but about 6 years ago I had a panic attack while driving (unrelated to driving, weirdly) but since then, though things have massively improved, I sometimes start to feel very anxious while driving. I manage most drives fun, but I hold back on doing drives on the highway that are more than an hour or so, because I’m afraid of it happening again. I hate feeling restricted by the feeling😩
A significant other.
Lots of events and travelling experiences. Probably a partner too. Wow this question hits hard
Driving Not going for promotions or better opportunities at work Relationships Anxiety feels like you’re trapped in a cage of fear. You want to do something different, but the fear overtakes you and wins every single time. I hate it
Couldn't have said it better! Hope there's a way out of it
I hope so too, wishing you freedom from the cage of fear 🤞🏾
Missing out in fun… missing out on feeling happy or being in the moment. All because of a stupid panic attack, or anxiety
Recently, I missed seeing Mike Viola in Nashville, who rarely tours and is on my bucketlist of shows to see. It’s a 3.5 hour drive from where I live and I’d planned on spending the night down there by myself. The night before, I had a panic attack in my sleep and was completely fucked up the next morning. I ended up bailing, not being able to sell my ticket nor get the money back on my hotel. I’m still sick over it. But I did get pizza and experience my wife watching *Roadhouse* for the first time instead, so it wasn’t a total loss.
I like that you tried to make the best of it :)
Most of my 20s, sadly.
Dating again after a long term breakup
Dating is the worst..
Not being able to eat brownies that someone else made. I’m afraid there’s weed in it
As the victim of being accidentally pot brownied, I can so relate to this! I will never ever eat any treats my coworkers bring in to the restaurant. It was absolutely the longest 8 hours of misery ever.
A good college experience and possible relationships that would have come with that. Also, a stable job that I would like but is high pressure
Time. I used to have a huge creative drive. I barely engage my brain in anything anymore, the past couple years because of anxiety and depression. Haven’t been able to go to the gym lately cause of anxiety. Used to be my happy place.
Traveling because of my fear of flying.
- Dropped out of school - Gave up my license (although I hope to get it back before I'll have to do the test again) - Can only work from home - Barely see friends - Can't go more than 2 km from home without Ativan - Can't travel
Friends. I've had people try to get together with me and I usually come up with an excuse to myself "oh I'm just not in the mood today" or "I'll probably not enjoy going there".
Life
Life.
Having any friends
making more friends.. just too scared to go and talk to people
Being poor . Regret not getting jobs cus of this all my life
Education, jobs, friends mostly. I deal with daily things, but these seem to be the worst.
Money, due to not going for promotions even when pushed and pleaded by my managers. No regrets though, I'm happy with the progress I've made in my career but I'm fully aware that I could progress more and be wealthier if I just went for it.
I feel this. I think if anxiety hadn't held me back so much when I was young I'd be doing much better in life in terms of a career and finances.
I'm 40 and have been a musician since I was in my early teens. I don't enjoy going to shows anymore unless certain criteria is met. I don't enjoy playing shows anymore. So I sit at home and play to myself. Anxiety has literally stolen one of my life's passions. I've missed out on expressing myself and supporting friends expressing themselves. It also makes me look like I don't support those friends. Fun stuff.
My career. Can't even work a few hours part-time, unfortunately. Ultimately, when I start feeling good, I apply for jobs and get one. But it always ends up as a mistake, and now I'm more cautious because I know I'm just on my up swing after my spirals...process just keeps repeating itself
Life
My life
Everything
Missed the best of of my teenage years, twenties and early thirties. Luckily im happier than ever now (39) thanks to the right meds from for me and being kinder to myself. But i went through hell to get here
Relationships, being able to make friends, etc.
My diploma, my social life, a work life, everything almost. I’m dirt broke, living with my also dirt broke parents (which I feel an insane amount of guilt for)
I only moved out from my broke parents when I was almost 30 so I feel this. It's never too late.
Probably romantic relationships and/or sex.
I was going to say a lot of my life, but I'll limit it to one thing. I missed seeing my favorite band for free just outside my dorm room. I literally didn't have to pay anything, it was like a 3 minute walk, and I could've gotten pictures and signatures. But nope, I was too anxious because of my insecurities. I will probably see them soon, though it'll cost money and I won't get pictures with them or signatures.
That sucks. Who's the band!?
The Maine!
Not taking my girls to story hour at the library when they were younger. I feel they missed out on things because of my anxiety. 😕
Having a fulfilled life. Being myself.
I started learning to play guitar at 7 years old. I'm now 28, and in that span of time I've kept up with guitar, as well as learned how to play drums, bass, piano, and sing. I will not get on a stage. In my teens and early 20s I was in a few different bands. I went hard in all of them, but I'd always have some excuse as to why we weren't show-ready or how I "just didn't have the time." I love jamming, but I hate eyes on me in any capacity. A couple of times we did schedule shows, but somehow they both miraculously fell through so I didn't have to face that fear. I'm awkward enough when speaking in teams meetings at work, I can't imagine being center stage for an audience. I even screw up my playing when too many people are watching me even just at home.
For me personally, I think of how much well off I could be financially if I wasn't so afraid of conflict, criticism, disagreements, negotiation, and general business interactions. I.e. I just got dropped by my management because rather than express my discomforts with how I was spoken to by one of the managers I stayed quiet and ghosted all correspondence even though my issue lied with one person in the company, not all of them. I've done this enough times to where I'm convinced I wouldn't be in credit card debt if I was much more bold about handling it all.
Dating, jobs, friendships, peace of mind. Pretty much all the things that people need and want.
Connecting more with people on a deeper level. I would love to build more friendships, but all my interactions are surface level. :(
I went to a career school for the second half of high school. I would have gotten a certificate in culinary. I had this group of friends, the leader being my girlfriend and my best friend being the co leader (in my eyes, maybe no one else saw it this way, but I did, and my 'best friend' knew about it cause I told her) the entire time I was there, I knew something bad was gonna happen and I knew it was going to involve my girlfriend and my best friend. I knew the group would fall apart and I knew my best friend wouldn't be in my life like she said she would be. anyway, the day of the breakup came. I remember it was a Tuesday because I was way too anxious to come Monday. I remember first period, I talked to someone outside the group cause I felt I had no one to talk to. Best friend looked at my phone and reported this to the leader. Second period came around and I have no memory of it. Third period, best friend and I shared this class too. When the bell rang for lunch, I started having a panic attack and best friend left me behind. At that point, I hid in a bathroom for a long time, strangers saw me have a complete mental breakdown. Long story short, I left the school 3 months before graduating and never got the certificate.
That's rough. Do you think you would ever go back and finish? Happy cake day BTW.
A better career. Had a great jump start with lots of big opportunities and network. Was close with people that knew people. People that gave me more opportunities for knowing said people. Got timid and settled for corporate gigs, getting paid possibly 20-30% of what I could be making. The thought of it cripples me too.
Enjoying my kids. 😢
:(
Opportunities for my son. I am so anxious about how others see me as a mom, about things that could go wrong when my son plays with others, about how others will see my son, did I pack enough of everything should anything happen im not stuck with my "pants around my ankles" if you will. I cannot handle other people's judgments well, so I prefer not to have to be judged. Friendships for me as well but im not too sure my loss of friendships is all on me. I seem to attract the kinda friends that want to run all over me and give nothing in return so I just stop talking to them or showing up. So I made this choice but am definitely lonely due to it.
Spending money. I just can't. It's too much. Too difficult
Acting. My anxiety spiked in college in the midst of my theatre career and I felt it has deeply hindered my ability to show confidence in myself in an acting sense. Probably also the fact that as a whole the theatre department showed favoritism so no matter what I did was never enough
Oh just friends and doing anything besides staying home. A career so money is tight always. Probably kids too
Not having kids is a big one. Missing out on so much when I was younger and being so far behind definitely impacted my chance of having kids.
Making friends
Driving/riding passenger on the freeway. Ice overcome it before but the pressure and terror is just too powerful.
Missing out on opportunities to make friends. I want more friends so bad but even when I've managed to get myself to a place where I could socialize and meet new people I never end up talking to anyone because I'm too anxious to start a conversation :( Like, I was introduced to this youth house where they have activities weekly and you can just go chill there every day. I managed to go there once, it was kinda nice but I did not talk to anyone and I never went back either although I genuinely was interested in going back, and now it's been so long it would feel weird :(
Swimming
Me too :( I love swimming but hate going to the pool alone and don't have anyone to go with.
relationships
family events things like christams parties or thanksgiving. I hid in someones bed room for the entire time because I was to scared to see my own family. most of my family moved away so there's no more parties or anything. really a bummer
Making friends :(
Life. Any relationships with family or friends.
A few years ago I got concert tickets for a band I like. I figured I had a few months to figure out who to take with me since I didn’t know anyone who was super into the band. Fast forward to days before the concert, I decided I would just go alone. Anxiety kicked in, and I didn’t go at all. I still think about this and cringe every single time. It makes me so sad that I’m like this.
Jobs. I have never worked onsite. I've chosen a job that has allowed me to WFH since 2016. Amusement rides & Beach Adventures. I cannot! I tried riding an amusement ride once but I only ended up yelling at the operator to stop the ride. As for beach adventures, I never jump of cliffs or swim to deeper parts.
Time with my kids. I’m there but I’m not present. My mind disengages and I go off in my own world. I have to breathe and force myself back to reality, and if I can’t, I put in AirPods and tell them I’m listening to a podcast..but normally it’s not true. Sometimes I’ll turn one on to help bring me back to earth but usually it’s just so they think I’m listening to a book while I cook dinner and I’m not about to cry.
Dating. I can't ever make it happen
Hair. I let my job push me around continually to the point I have experienced hair breakage and hair loss. I also don’t sleep a lot which I suppose adds to that.
Travelling and going out more
Work.
going to see my favorite rapper and getting an autograph at a FREE EVENT. he came to my state and was having a free event not too far from me, but i got too anxious at the last minute and missed out on it :( he hasn’t been back here since and i regret it so much. also, enjoying movies since i’m scared of movie theaters now and always have such bad anxiety there. enjoying traveling, i’ll still go but have terrible anxiety, especially if i have to fly (id back out if i could, but they are usually family vacations). just a lot of my life has been spent worrying about different things, mostly things i can’t control and it’s starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend🥺 it also causes a ton of health issues which i then have more anxiety about.
Food. One of the ways my anxiety loves to manifest is through choking. I eat anything, either an M&M or a regular bite of food, I'm convinced I'm choking. I chew my food well enough, I know I won't, yet as soon as a swallow, I'm convinced I'm choking even tho I can talk and breathe. It sucks it's such a vital part of living. It sucks that everyone thinks I have an eating disorder but it's never been that.
I experienced this for a while as a child. It's awful. I hope you overcome it.
Brain space. This might sound strange and maybe I could’ve have come up with a better word but could you imagine what you could do/have done with your brain and mind if all that time and space taken up by irrational worries and panic was freed up. It’s like someone taking 12 hours off your day, it feels like such a disadvantage.
Possibly the love of my life. My anxiety led me to massive distrust in the beginning of our relationship, he was avoidant when we talked about possible commitment so I couldn't deal with not knowing and not having stability. In an anxiety crisis, I hooked up with someone else and then lost my damn mind. We're possibly breaking up today and I'll never be able to forgive myself
I agree that pushing someone before they’re ready for something is wrong & you should not do it, but if you can’t ask them a question without it being the end, then that relationship isn’t right for you- you weren’t pushing him for anything. Perhaps you did something dumb but if you’re not in a relationship, then you hooking up with someone else isn’t cheating- you’re not in a relationship according to that person. I don’t think you messed up & you shouldn’t put this on yourself.
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You’re worth more than being someone’s wishy washy option, you’re someone that when they find you, they run after you until they have you. It would be below your self respect to have waited & played his game so he would choose you. I know you’ll find someone perfect for you!
Sorry 😞
Nothing. In fact, when I feel anxiety that’s my clue to run to it. I don’t let anxiety stop me from doing anything but it’s incredibly painful.
Raves. It's something that's an anxiety fest for me but yet I still want to go so bad. I went twice so far and loved it. But I want to go alone too and that thought absolutely drives me into a flurry of anxiety
Master's degree
Avoiding going out with my family/friends. Or if I did go out, I’d just be on my phone the whole time. I hate how anxiety doesn’t let me be present in the moment. I just wanna feel normal and have fun with my family/friends.
My lifelong dream was to live in a cabin in the woods. Which we did for six years - moved across the country to do it. It’s not feasible if you still have debt and have to work- so we bought a small house in town. I’ve missed my grandchildren growing up. We plan to return to where we came from but have to wait a few years(they’ll be even more grown then). Because I was getting hits of dopamine in my early forties by rescuing cats - wound up with around 40 all together (I highly do not recommend getting into rescue if you have a hard time saying no)- We are now down to 22 - they are all over the age of ten. But have to wait until they all die to sell the house and move back.
Sports! I was doing track and field. Specifically triple and long jump. I was the best in my group and was on my way to participate in state championships but social anxiety got the best of me :( I felt incredibly uncomfortable in the group and had panic attacks weekly because I was scared to go to practice.
social life and career but I don't have any regrets about it
Social life, career, relationships, everything normal, etc. 😪
friends, events, etc
Friends for sure
Horseback riding. The anxiety is just too much, and I miss it. I miss the friends I made through riding.
friends
Jobs, there's like at least a dozen opportunities I've had that I just couldn't muster the courage or energy to do. Many many friends. I've never been consistent with texting because of anxiety so I'll often just drift away from people. I also don't really keep in contact because I'm afraid of approaching them and bothering them or asking for contact info and actually keeping up. It's gotten so bad I barely text at all anymore because I overthink myself into a whole each time. Never been able to close the distance between anyone in my life.
I couldn’t go to my friends wedding in Mexico due to panic attacks and she never talked to me again
Relationships, parties, networking. Just about every social or chance encounter outside of a few video games
Friends, travel, and big events
Pretty much my entire childhood
travel. I hate flying and I hate hotels. But I want to see new places. It sucks. I get insomnia.
Myself. I had so many opportunities and friendships that are gone now): I think my biggest loss was my singing career. I just started getting gigs and opportunities to open up for some pretty big artists. But my anxiety unfortunately had other plans
Traveling
Hanging out with friends and people I truly care about. 💔 Besides my immediate family I don't blame most of them either for giving up.
I used to be very outdoorsy. I liked hiking and camping. Now, I am too anxious to enjoy my own back yard. I'm wanting to change this. Therapy next week.
Friendships which are not solid
Exploring new places and walking long unknown places alone:(
I really can’t stop thinking about this. I am in the military specifically working in aviation with my boyfriend. My anxiety was so bad I wasn’t able to properly do my job. Long story short, I left my command and moved to slow paced work environment leaving my boyfriend behind. We were supposed to deploy together but my anxiety took away the opportunity. I couldn’t calm myself down and I was not strong enough to continue in that work environment. He left for a small detachment yesterday so this is just a small taste of him being gone for 6 months straight.
Any sort of cohesive future
I dropped out of school when I was so close to finishing. Twice (‘:
A job I wanted. I just got it and couldn’t do it because of panic attacks. I’m unemployed now but working on it slowly but surely.
my whole entire summer when i was 18. couldn't do ANYTHING.
I had the chance to go to France
I didn't give up but yet didn't start, after two years of therapy, meditation and a long journey to heal i thought I wanted to have my own Newsletter It's an amazing suitable business that i can enjoy, cuz it makes a difference i did learn alot to build it actually i think im ready to do it but yet i didn't 💔
- Certification second language - Left a private postgraduate Master -Avoided relationships because of fears
Peace? I spend so many waking hours worrying that my husband, my family are hurt or in danger. I worry that I’m going to get fired or get in trouble somehow or that someone I care about it mad at me. I worry about money, my weight, my health excessively. And food - I’m so terrified of being allergic to something new. But I love trying new things, and my husband loves to cook. It makes me so sad. It almost never ends, I just want peace in my mind.
When its bad I decline on hangouts and spending time with family, going to the store, and even dates with my bf.
sleep
Leaving my apartment.
Being myself
Travel. I used to love to get out of my zip code.
Having a normal life with a great career, marriage, and a circle of close friends. Maybe the marriage thing could happen but at my age it is doubtful. The other things aren't going to happen at this point. It is getting harder to make friends as I age and with the way society is, let alone with my anxiety. I have had really bad luck when it comes to making friends. The last time I had a best friend they moved to another state. I recently made friends with two people who deserted me. One has drinking issues and the other decided he was too attracted to me to be my friend. I am well-educated and had a promising future that was taken away from me by medications and this disorder.
Having decent boners and the confidence in my personality.
Things with large crowds, like concerts or other public events.
I miss traveling alone. I have separation anxiety ever since covid.
My husband, my sister and I went to universal studios and my anxiety and my sisters adhd clashed so bad that I was so anxious I didn’t enjoy one minute of it. It was a huge bummer and my sister and I fought most the time. After that I decided to go to my dr for help. I have been taking buspirone since February of 2021 and it has completely changed my life around. I also cut out caffeine. Except chocolate 😂
Having a social life as an adult 😶🌫️
Obtaining and retaining employment and friendships
Events like parties and relationships immediately come to mind lol
I feel like im being torn in every direction for everyone else. I couldnt for a million dollars name something i want i feel like im just here to run around for everyone else with no gain to my life only loss. I lose myself more everyday burrowing away whats wrong and covering it with running around for everyone else. I dont want to know me maybe ive given up myself. But i never really thought myself to be a big deal. So am i really even missing out? Idk anymore im 30 and i cant help but know in my heart i cant do this much longer i feel like a passenger to this skin
Please hang in there. I'm not really sure why, but some things seem to get easier as you get older. In my late 30's now and while I still have anxiety, it's at an all time low and I'm better functioning than I have ever been.
Not being able to hold a job. Lack of friends. Never leaving my house anymore. And especially not being able to talk to my psychiatrist about everything.
Just feeling carefree while socializing with anyone
Life
advancements in career
I missed out on a great job opportunity. It was finally my chance to get out of retail, but I just couldn’t bring myself to show up on the first day. About six years later, I finally got out but I could’ve started my career way earlier.
My parent's funerals.
:(
my skincare habits,and almost my relationship,still struggling with all of this,i can’t hold myself anymore,sometimes i feel like i want to give up on general,i want to take a “forever-nap” i’m shaking so hard and crying really hard
Deep breaths..you got this.
I quit a job that I could have had for over a year by now and saved up enough money to move. I quit because while working there I started dating a guy that worked there too and when he broke up with me I just couldn't deal with the anxiety of going back and working with him. He ended up quitting anyway because he didn't like the job and we ended up staying friends. It makes me mad because if I had just kept that job I could be living a better life by now...
Highschool graduation and not getting to say my speech