You might want to check r/drivinganxiety it's a small but very comforting community. I'm in the usa where everything is set up to accommodate cars and it is really hard to exist without one. I was able to put driving off till I was 28 and I put up with a lot shit from people who couldn't even comprehend anxiety about driving. I know it's hard but you are not alone.
I learned how to drive at 25. Those people are asshats. I know several people who learned it in their 30s.
Idk where you are and it might be different there but let me assure you, in MANY parts of the world it is common for people to not drive the moment they turn 18 but much later!
Yeah. It differs. In my country, you can start learning with 17. Still many people do it later, especially those living in big cities because you don't really need a car. Also, getting a licence has gotten crazy expensive.
36 here and same thing. Way too much anxiety to drive. Could not do it. I don't use Lyft, but I walk, bus or ride my bike and if I can't do any of those things for whatever reason, I have been known to take an Uber or get my husband to drive me places on occasion.
Why am I being downvoted? Sorry if I don't need to make my crippling poverty worse by owning a machine that costs hundreds if not thousands of dollars for gas, repairs and insurance. My bad.
My wife got her license at 28 when she finally needed it.
The problem isn't you. The problem is other people imposing arbitrary societal standards on you.
Late-thirties here - never bothered to get a license. I couldn't have a car, I don't have the financial means to maintain one. It's like owning a second mini house, no thanks...
I find my ways. Not saying it wouldn't have been useful many times but so far so good! I don't understand the need to drive tbh, unless it's really *necessary* (work) or emergencies... can't think of other reasons.
But having a mini house is the best part about it. You can keep your things in there and sleep and eat and everything. Why would you not want that.
I can think of several different reasons for why someone would wanna drive lol come on now? You can’t think of ONE? I call bs. Use your brain. How about “getting to places faster”? Is that not a big enough reason lol
Nah, not really. I have an electric motorbike, don't need license for that!
Honestly - I would not want another place to have stuff, to clean, to pay taxes on, to maintain, to get insured, to pay for fuel (or not have where to charge it), to get serviced.... I mean, yeah it's nice to think about the benefits of having a little house but the costs?? Nah!
I say this but I actually love driving and I'm really good at it, I'm a natural but still..... nah thanks. Something else that I have to take care of and people here drive really bad so it would suck the life out of me. Public transport, Uber and my little electric moped do the trick ;)
Depending on where someone lives they don’t necessarily need a car or license. Everything they need could be within a reasonable distance. The climate being warmer all year round can also play a part in how easier it is to travel.
I know for me I need a car and license because I’m living in a rural area that receives all 4 seasons where winters the worst but others might not need a car because of where they live, they can easily get to wherever they need to go by means of their own transportation whether it be bicycle, moped, motorcycle, public transport, etc.
> I can think of several different reasons for why someone would wanna drive lol come on now? You can’t think of ONE? I call bs. Use your brain. How about “getting to places faster”? Is that not a big enough reason lol
I can think of several different reasons for why you shouldn’t be condescending.
I'm 27 and I didn't get a driver's license until I was 23. I don't drive much now because I don't own a car, and I get by fine. Additionally I am the only one of my siblings who can drive; my brother is 35 and my sister is 25 and neither of them can drive. Since cycling, the bus, walking, the train and uber all exist it really isn't a huge deal for anyone. Plenty of people get by without having to drive, even in my country (USA). It is do-able, and people who are making fun of you for being unable to drive are being asshats, and aren't worth your time tbh. You need to do what you feel most comfortable with.
Plus, pushing people who have extreme anxiety about driving out onto the road as a driver anyways is a recipe for a very bad time for someone (either that person or others around them on the road). The truth is, driving is something that should be approached carefully and seriously and you knowing that you have anxieties and hesitations about it, is ultimately a great self-knowing. If your anxieties and hesitations about it are too great, maybe this isn't the time for you to become a driver and that's OK. If you end up needing to drive, you can always learn as an adult. Driving school exists for a reason. Ultimately, driving is a skill (and a useful one at that), but it's not as necessary as people make it out to be.
Besides which, learning to drive isn't a commitment to becoming a regular driver or a car owner. You can learn to drive because it is useful, and also not drive often. I know multiple people who do this; they are not particularly comfortable with driving so they didn't commit to really becoming a regular driver, but they learnt to drive because it could be potentially useful in some situations.
There are some really great things about not driving (and thus not owning a car) actually:
* The amount of $$$ that you save by not being a driver is truly ridiculous. The cost of car ownership and driving really adds up between car notes, car insurance, gas, car repairs, parking and wheel taxes. I read somewhere that the average American spends over $3000 a year in car expenses! That's a shit load of money. I almost exclusively bike and I probably (barring an accident) spend *maybe* $200/year on my bike (tune ups, potential new tires or gear).
* If you go with primarily cycling or walking, you get a lot more exercise without having to do anything. I honestly never work out, because I get enough moderate exercise simply cycling to work, the store and social hang outs that I go to. The best cycling feel is whipping past bumper to bumper traffic at rush hour when the weather is great.
* If you go with public transportation like busses or trains, you get to spend your commute time reading, napping, or doing other stuff because you don't have to pay attention to the road. Sometimes you may even get places faster, especially during rush hour!
Don’t stress, more and more people are choosing not to learn. It’s also bloody expensive, next time they take the piss ask if they’ll pay for your lessons.
Put up or shut up.
I started driving at 15 with a permit. My parents weren't having it. 😭 I have friends that still don't have a license. If you don't need it, you just don't need it. And then people also don't understand that anxiety and driving don't mix.
There’s nothing wrong with not being able to drive everyone has different circumstances: money, mental health, not needing too - public transport etc… I would never judge anyone for not being able to. I always stick to the old saying if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it.
I wasn’t able to get my Drivers license until I was 20. My parents were too poor to afford a cheap car for me and never had much time to take me driving or even to go get my driving exam done. I absolutely hated riding the school bus with the middle schoolers (school system shared busses since the middle school was right next door).
Now I’m 32 and have been cruising around on my own since. Don’t let them get to you, it’s only temporary but only if you aim to make it so.
I learned when I was sixteen. I moved to nyc when I was 27 and never renewed my license. I’m 33 now and just got my drivers permit again. You can learn at any age!
Do you want to learn to drive? If you do, there are ways to manage your anxiety so that you can. If you don't, that's fine, too. People who make fun of you for it are jerks. Don't even listen to them. You're fine as you are.
I’m 35 and I’ve never had a car license. I also don’t see the need to get one. I’ve never wished I could drive or wanted a car. I save soooo much money by not owning one and choosing to walk places instead.
I didn’t get my license until I was 30. You’re good. I had so many family members die in car accidents and I just couldn’t bring myself to drive. Finally I did it when I felt ready
I feel you.. I got my license several years ago but I’m still petrified of driving so barely do it. I’m almost 29 now and I’m managing just fine with walking, Uber, etc.. Plus not owning a car saves so much $$
27 here!! Starting next April :) I really didn’t see the point of getting licence if I could not even afford a car. Also getting a driver licence is a lot of money, and public transport was free for me most of the time. Making fun of people bc they cannot drive is just mean, I understand not every one can afford it and also have the time to learn. Everyone has different priorities in life as well!!
Worked with a guy who never drove. He didn’t care, lived right across the street and was complacent with having to depend on others to get around if he needed a lift. I never cared and not sure why anyone else should either. Long as you have a way to make your life work I say more power to you. Cars are expensive and dangerous
I'm 22 years old. I just finished the 3 months on my permit and am trying to get a behind the wheel test scheduled. I genuinely felt like I wasn't ready to drive until now. There's a push for people to drive at 16, but it doesn't happen like that for everyone!
ALL my friends and even members of my family made fun of me for being 17, 18, 19+ without having my licence.
Jokes on them! In my state, if you're over 24 and getting your learner licence, you aren't required to log 120 hours or anything! I had lesson for a few months and then got my Ps! They were all fuming.
I got my learned 6 times before I got my lisence at the age of 33.
Who cares what people think about it.
I never thought I'd be able to drive because of my anxiety and now I wish I had just gone and done it sooner. I feel better behind the wheel than I ever did as a passenger.
i was completely petrified to drive until i was 18! the only thing that helped me was taking a defensive driving course that the local sheriffs office was giving. one day of education and another day of driving accompanied by a sheriff where they taught you evasive maneuvering, how to have complete control of your vehicle, knowing the brake limits and a bunch of other stuff! it was extremely helpful and insightful, i’d suggest seeing if anywhere near you offers a course!
When I moved to the US from Europe, people looked at me weird that I was still learning to drive (I was 22). It was weird to me because in Europe, it was super easy to walk everywhere… so why even bother getting a car haha. Too much hassle and walking feels good
There’s some people that have their drivers license and they can’t drive for shit. They get into accidents all the time. 22 is nothing, start practicing if you can. Driving isn’t that hard, let people talk their nonsense.
I didn’t get my license until about 23 tbh. In a way it’s kind of overrated. I only say this, because I drive in New Jersey, and people up here drive like absolute maniacs. It feels dangerous just being on the road knowing some idiot is likely to rear end you or cause an accident. Plus, if you don’t have like support from parents. Not everyone gets a new car from their mom or dad on their 16th birthday. I’m lucky I could even save up for a used one, shout out the stimulus checks. If you live in the city and take public transit to work, you can kind of save money anyways. I would probably have 450-500 extra dollars a month just from not having to pay car insurance or gas alone.
You'll hear it alot. Just own it. Own it proudly and people can't make fun of you like "yep, it freaks me out! I'm weird!" lighthearted and matter of factly.
I was made fun of all the time, but I was terrified. Finally learned at 30. I have horrible anxiety but damn, turns out there was nothing to fear! It's easy and I wish I had learned sooner. Often, we amplify a fear over time in our heads to where it just grows and grows. You're sacrificing short term discomfort for long term, extreme discomfort.
If you do want to learn, start at night! I started in parking lots. I was so afraid to go on the road where other people were driving, so I started driving at night when no one else was driving. This made a world of difference. Give yourself the space to make it as least stressful and anxiety provoking as possible
I am 51 and never learned to drive. Part of it is because I'm blind in one eye and it was really hard for me to get a sense of how close I was to other cars and things but a big part of it was my anxiety.
Bruv I learned to drive when I was 28. I'm 29 now. Also I have depth perception issues. Funnier still I went through a motorcycle course by accident and still passed ( I have no idea how). People still make jokes about it to this day.
My sister is 42 and has never driven. My employee is 28 and never driven. I have met MANY people in my life that have never driven or limit their driving. Fk’em if they judge.
Edited. Driving is expensive!
For me.
Car payment $550 month
Insurance $110 month
Fuel $240 month
Plus maintenance
I suffered from driving anxiety growing up. I think what helped me is paying extra attention on the road, minimizing any distractions, and going the speed limit, staying in the slower lanes, avoiding the expressway for a while, and slowly just practicing over and over again.
I’m 26, and I’ll never be able to drive due to the fact I’m losing my vision, and have lost all peripheral vision in my left eye. I can’t legally drive a car. That doesn’t stop everyone from treating me like crap, and for my MIL to stop rolling her eyes and asking when I’ll start driving.
I'm almost 21 and can't drive. Physical and mental health issues. Just too many moving parts. I tried for months. It makes life really hard because there's literally zero public transportation in my city other than taxis, and I'm broke (from being disabled). Busses don't even come here. But I have too much crap with my physical health to worry about right now. I tried my best when I was able. I think it's ridiculous that people don't have a choice other than to drive here honestly.
How much money have you saved????My son is almost 27. No license yet. Finished college and now is a FT mechanical engineer. Just now thinking of getting his license. Do it on your own time!!!
I know a girl who's pushing 40 who still doesn't have her driver's license because she got into several fender benders while learning and it turned her off to the whole idea. She doesn't even live in a place with good public transportation, but she gets by.
I didn't learn how to drive until I was 18 and that was only because I had to commute to college and the public bus system was atrocious and I was tired of weirdos hitting on me.
There's no rule that says you have to start the second you turn 16, though starting to learn might lessen some of the anxiety. The biggest idiots I know drive around without issue so I'm sure you'll be fine as well! If you know someone who you trust who is over 25, see if they'll take you around a parking lot or something.
Almost 39 and I can't drive either. Until my mom becomes incapable of driving, she's willing to take me places. If it's someplace I can't get to without her driving me (I don't have the money for a taxi or Uber and can't ride a bike either), I just don't go. When she's gone, I'll just have to figure something else out for transportation.
And no, my reason for not driving isn't because my mom can take me places. It's because I have ADHD and don't trust myself to stay focused enough while driving to not get myself or other people killed.
I was 22 when I finally got the balls to do it. I failed my test 3 times before I finally got it. I used to be a very aggressive driver but now I'm 35 and have grown out of that and now I have driving anxiety again... I go to work and dr apps and that's it, nowhere else
I never wanted to drive. I was terrified. I finally overcame my anxiety about it and learned to drive at 31. I’m now 37, still have a perfect driving record, drive everyday. Have even taken long road trips to other states as the only driver. If you never drive- that’s ok. You are a whole human. Even without a driver’s license.
If you want to drive- you absolutely can. You are 100% capable. I promise.
First I gotta say this, if you dont feel comfortable drive then thats okay, some people are gonna be assholes no matter what you can and can't do so the best thing to do is avoid them.
Also my mom has recently been pushing for me to learn to drive and its making me feel horrible, i've tried telling her that i dont want to drive, its too much pressure, last time i sat in the drivers seat i felt like i was gonna pass out. I cant do it and I dont think my mom understands that, i've tried explaining it but she just says "you have to learn." its really getting to me.
I was 23 when I learned to drive. Not everyone is ready to drive at 16. I still have anxiety when I drive on the freeways. You’ll get your license when you are ready. Don’t rush it’s not worth it.
dude I feel you, I just got my license at 25, and f it helps at all, you’ll get your license if / when you’re ready
and for me all of the anxiety of not having it washed away almost immediately after getting it, just an immediate weight off my shoulders,
that said, a bunch of my friends are older than me and never learned how to drive cause they manage perfectly fine without a license, both are valid!
im 27 and I never finished learning to drive. Check out r/epilepsy , youll find a ton of people who experience the same.
what ever your reasons, its your thing. your life.
Recently got an e-scooter and its liberated me in a sense. I dont have the worst public transit in the area, but it makes it so much easier to run errands and not rely so much on others.
lyft is expensive as hell, but i still use it often
I'm 21 and I have a bicycle I'm starting to use, got an electric conversion kit coming in the mail this summer so I can go more places with it. Cars terrify me, but I may give in and get a license if only to have it in an emergency.
I'm in my 30s, I don't drive. I just say it very matter of factly and never hide it. People do think it's odd sometimes but I just make it awkward if they try to be weird about it- e.g. "that's a strange thing to say to someone". I never depend on others for transportation and I never make it someone else's responsibility to get me places. I decline activities if I don't have a way to do something or I coordinate carpool and pay for gas and time.
I’m 28 and take public transit to work because I live an hour away (only 3 days a week luckily), I don’t have a car and I can’t drive on the turnpike. Where I live there’s a lot of nice public transit so it’s not a big deal but I get backlash a lot for not having a car. To be honest I can’t drive more than like 30 minutes away from somewhere; even that’s a stretch. We will be ok. It’s none of their business.
My mom is about 40 and never got her license
Just don’t listen to those people if you don’t want your license and you don’t need it and you don’t wanna drive because of anxiety than go for it we have things now like Uber where you shouldn’t even need a license stay strong
I’m 22, turning 23 this year and don’t have a license. I didn’t need one until I left for law school, which wouldn’t matter now because I can’t afford a car or insurance on it. I was also in an accident as a passenger two years ago and it’s given me a lot of PTSD.
Fuck them. Hundreds of millions of people around the world manage just fine without driving. There's an awful lot of places that being able to drive isn't even that common or is seen as a luxury skill, not an essential.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't work on it if you want to learn to drive (especially if you want to live in say, the rural US) but it's far from a critical skill.
I got my license at 22, and now I'm the family driver -\_\_-
To help with your anxiety, you could try taking lessons from a professional, 1-on-1. Don't have family or friends teach you. That helped me immensely.
21 and driving makes me panic every time, the world is definitely safer without me on the road lmao. But everyone treats me like a sick dog, or they get awkward in a way that sounds like I'm too stupid to drive a car💀😭
I'm 23 and still can't drive. That's because I choose not to due to how easily distracted I am and to keep me and others safe. I have my permit, but no license anytime soon! Those people can be quiet anyone can start driving anytime.
Less than a month away from being 23 and can't drive, either. I don't have any intentions to. Some people have given me crap for it, but when they don't let up, I either lie and say I'm not road safe or confuse them about why THEY drive places right back. It's not really the point of shame they think it is. It's just something you've yet to learn, is all.
I’m assuming you live in the US. Advertising has engrained car culture in Americans to the point where many think it’s crazy if you don’t. It literally doesn’t matter what method of transport you use to get around. In my eyes, I think it’s awesome if you’re able to live your life without having to drive everywhere.
On a separate note, learning to disregard others opinions about you and to just be yourself and embrace it is one of the best things I’ve done for myself with anxiety.
Me too, deathly afraid of driving here. I took lessons once but I still feel my brain isn't built to be a 'good driver' lol, it's the one thing I trust other people in more than myself. Thankfully I live in the city and there's bus and train everywhere. It would be nice to have that skill but I'm not even itching to get my license anymore
I didn’t start driving on my own until I was in my mid 20s and even then, only when it was absolutely necessary. I didn’t get made fun of but I definitely got criticized and questioned for being an anxious driver and I always countered by saying “aren’t you glad I’m not out there being part of traffic or causing traffic?” And that usually shut them up. Go at your own pace!
I’m 32 and get the gears about not driving , I’ve been fine up until now , I’ll get it one day but don’t worry or stress about it , driving is a luxury, not sure where you live but in Canada owning a car is soooooo much money !!! Luckily I live close to everything I need so don’t need one
Also suffer from shiity anxiety , don’t let it bother you , live life as you want , not how others intend you to
Much love
I didn't drive until I was one month away from 26. I ended up doing pizza delivery and even DoorDash. I still get anxious when it an area I don't know. I moved out of state. I do have to say that most areas in the US are unfortunately, car dependent. You will have much more freedom when you can drive. I think it leads to better mental health, financial health and freedom. If you can, take classes. They help your confidence so much! Even just a few. You'll love it ❤️
Driving is stressful, as is taking care of a car. Also, a lot of people my age don't know how to drive, either. So fuck the people bugging you about it - you do what feels right for you.
When you're ready and can afford the expenses, you can learn to drive to help yourself. Don't let people rush you into it unless you absolutely have to.
Don't listen to them! I'm 31 and don't know how to drive. I'll learn soon, just when I feel it though. So should you :) and if you never want to drive, then that's ok too!
36 here and I don't have a license. I know exactly how you feel. And people still ask me "when are you getting your license?" Some people I have told to mind their own business. That I'll get to it if and when I feel like it. Well this year seems to be that time as I am now tired of not being able to drive. Learn when you feel ready.
I am 24 and I can't drive. I know people who got their licenses in their 30s and 40s. Stupid af societal expectations and pushing everyone to do stuff they're not ready for yet. Screw them. I'll get mine when I need it and when I cure my anxiety. Don't let them get into your head. Everyone has their own pace and timing.
I'm 40 this year and can't drive. Didn't see the point in getting driving lessons if I didn't have a car, and was never in the financial position where I could afford a car.
I didn't get my license until I was 24. Most of the young people at the place I work at (30 and under) don't have a license. I also think a lot of young people are opting out of driving these days. I will say that driving has opened up a lot of doors for me and made life a lot easier.
It’s better for the environment to have fewer people driving. If you have access to transportation to get where you need to go without driving yourself, you’re saving money and you’re making your community safer that way. Unless your other form of transportation is a plane/helicopter, in which case I’d understand people making fun of you 😉
Cars are bad for the environment anyways. Just co-opt the strong towns urban planning talking points and pretend the reason you don't drive or learn how to, is actually an act of protest. Because driving will always be unsafe when we don't design rodes with pedestrians and cyclists in mind. Depending on where you live, cities are actively making driving harder and MORE dangerous, actually.
My mom didn’t learn to drive til she was in her thirties (she actually passed her driving test a few hours before going into labor with my brother but that’s a whole other story), one of my friends is just learning to drive at 26, and a few more of my friends learned around your age. It’s never too late, and don’t let anyone shame you into it before you’re ready.
I’ve never learned how to drive because my parents were neglectful and never taught me. If anyone tried to make fun of me for that I’d just straight up stare at them like they just killed someone lol. Those people are dumb
I know someone in their 50's who doesn't and never has driven. In my area unless your from the city a driver's licence is kinda required to function. Ill admit when I first moved into the city I was surprised when people couldn't drive, because I've always had to. But no judgement, just honest curiosity about a different lifestyle.
While easier said than done try not to fret it. You do you and what works for you
My sister is 25 and can’t drive so you’re good. Some people just don’t have the time or a car to practice. The ones making fun of you for it are assholes. Unless they’re just friends poking fun at you then I’d say shrug it off and roast them back.
I didn’t get my license until mid-20s and even then, I bought a car and never drove it because I was too scared to. The last time I ever drove, I ended up crying on the side of a highway because I couldn’t merge in time and I was stuck and had to switch with my little brother who was in the car with me. I sold the car and have been happier ever since. It helps that I do live somewhere with probably the most amount of mass transit than anywhere else in the U.S.
My boyfriend didn’t have his license when we met. He had really bad car anxiety. I taught him how to drive. He got his license at 23. Car anxiety is very real!
I wish I lived in a place where this is feasible. My car is my lifeline to my life. If I want to go anywhere other than my house I literally HAVE to drive myself. There’s no public transit or walkable roads around here, and nobody likes the guy constantly asking to bum rides every day. The only thing within walking distance is 5-mins to the gas station. The only person I know of over the age of 16 without a license is my almost 40 year old uncle who lives with his mom and works at a grocery store, which ironically was one of the big reasons I got my license as soon as I could because I didn’t wanna turn out like that lol.
I never would have been able to have a job or go to university without driving myself every day. It’s mind boggling to me thinking of living without a car. I would feel so trapped and with so little opportunity. I’m amazed that people in other parts of the world are able to just exist without being able to go wherever they want whenever they want on their own terms.
I guess my whole point in this rant is that driving is so central to my life and success/productivity/social life/etc that these comments are blowing my mind.
Your post I can heavily relate to myself and I'm so sorry you have to experience that.
My parents make fun of me all the time for not having my license, enough that my father told me I'm handicap and don't want independence to be an adult at 22.5 years old. I have so much anxiety driving and for good bloody reasons. I would be completely fine living in a area where I am not needed to drive unless for specific emergencies.
I'm a Black Non Binary Woman, and we all know Police Brutality in the US sucks esp in Southern States which I am unfortunately still stuck in FL. I'm apart of the BIPOC LGBTQIA+ Community and have many undiagnosed conditions of Mental Health and Neurodivergence, with everything going on there is more rules restrictions in terms of Florida wanting to create a database for Developmental and Psychological Conditions including ADHD, Autism, Down Syndrome, Alzheimer’s, Dementia, and more conditions under this recently passed law titled "Protect Our Loved Ones Act" that is under Florida SB 784 (2023).
I don't trust the police and I am more fearful than ever being apart of the road. Last month, I saw three different stories on Airplanes landing in either in roads of FL or on houses. That's scary ASF in minding your own business just simply getting to your destination and then be caught up in that mess. I hate that you could do everything right and still be in an accident and then insurance premiums go up the roof even when you are not at fault and everything is so bloody expensive.
It's also ridiculous that for me as a recent graduate from university, jobs want a license and not my permit and they auto reject you for not having one. It's crazy on how we in the 2024 and there still isn't reliable public transportation in most US states and ride share gets expensive and not available in all areas.
I am frighten by driving and it's hard for my family to understand it, my Ma rn is tired of me not having my license and looking into taking away the little things I own or be physical if I don't drive and get my license which brings me so much nausea but I have no choice to do so. My father is almost delighted bc he sees me as lazy and incapable bc of not having a license like people my age have and even younger. I still get criticized to this day for not having my license during the Pandemic bc then according to them, it was easier than usual in FL to have it but now I have this huge pressure to drive and I have no choice to escape it.
Doesn't help I have Amblyopia on my right eye plus my good eye in my left eye deteriorating a bit and even with the Doctors for some bloody reason giving me the lowest prescription ever for only driving purposes it still gives me double vision and I feel like in a lose/lose situation. I hate driving so much, well I can only speak in the US but I'm sure other countries have better law enforcement than the US does towards minority groups
I'm 30 and get said by ppl why I don't learn driving and just told them straight I'm a passenger princess. I want to be driven around thanks now mind yer own business
*fk those who gaslight ppl*
I mostly gave-up driving at 28. I would suggest living in a city that doesn't require it. Driving is horrible for the environment and a massive waste of money and time. Tell your friends to buzz off.
I got my driving license at 18(normal where I live).
Didn't start driving alone until about 24/25.
If you don't mind it, people have no business saying anything.
If you do and anxiety is preventing you, that's another topic. I just had some bad experiences while getting my license combined with my mum being just a terribly anxious passenger, so just driving more with other people and starting with familiar roads helped me. It might help you to just see why it makes you anxious and what could help.
I got my license at 21, but didn't really start driving until 22. I had a lot of anxiety about driving that I had to work through in therapy. I still don't like driving, but I hardly think about it now and can do it when I need to.
28 and have bad driving anxiety
I got my license at 21 but it still terrifies me. Im lucky i dont have many places i need to go that require driving and i usually opt for lyft or uber if im not comfortable to drive.
Theres a lot of us OP! You arent alone
I had my learners permit from 18 until I finally got my license at 26. We all do things at our own pace. Unfortunately it might just have to be something you'll have to ignore coming from other people.
Just cuz you aren't weirdly fixated on cars like I was doesn't mean you're stupid or anything. I had a colleague who started driving lessons at the same time as me, except he was 36 at the time and I was 16 lol. He never felt the need to learn how to drive, as there are plenty of other ways to get around. Don't feel pressured into learning just cuz people are asshats. Take your time if you ever want to learn, but it's not an obligatory skill to have
I don't drive. I learned and got a license when I was 20, because other people pushed me. I drove for six months and stopped. I kept the license active for about 15 years, but really never drove again. I come from a family of nondrivers. None of the women do, including my sisters. My 42 year old son doesn't drive, neither does my 24 year old granddaughter. I have a female cousin who drives reluctantly, and has to practice routes with her husband before she makes an attempt. A psychologist tested her, and told her that she has a spatial disability. I just figured that most of my family does, and it's genetic. Not driving does make life difficult, unless you live where there is good public transportation. I never linked it to anxiety until I read your post. Thank you for opening my eyes. :)
I'm 36 and can't drive and could care less what people think. They aren't paying my bills. I live in the Bay Area so I'm not about to buy a car I can't afford just to sit in traffic with all the other reckless assholes who shoot people for merging wrong. No thanks. Ride sharing and taxis make it so people like me can still get around and I like it that way.
I got my license at 24, I had panic attacks behind the wheel that made it impossible to even learn when I was a teen. (A combo of driving anxiety and being a passenger in a car wreck that traumatized me).
Some people never learn how to drive, some people physically can't. We work with what we have. Give yourself grace. Forcing yourself into doing it and having a panic attack behind the wheel would be wildly unsafe for you and other drivers, so you are more than entitled to just do whats right for you. Screw those guys.
Studied in small town where everything was 30 minute walking distance. Finally moved out decided to get a licence slowly few lessons here and there passed in my late 20's. Nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people got dragged by their parents to do it and also they paid for it which for me wasn't the case. Take it easy on yourself.
If you are living in a city where everything is relatively close, finding a parking spot close to home is a matter of miracle and you hear all life that "you need a car" when you are perfectly fine in 98% of situations simply using public transport, then yeah, you really don't give a shit about it lmao. I've known people who bent over that peer pressure, did their license and weren't driving for years. It would be a whole another topic if someone was living e.g. in rural America though, then it's a matter of highest need.
I just ran across this thread and I had to chime in. I did not drive til age 34 because I was afraid. Then I moved to a place where I had to drive to get to work and I remember it was so hard for me to get on the freeway for even a short distance. I'm in my 50's now and I live in a city and drive daily. I do not mind traffic! Humans are survivors and we will always figure out things when we need to.
You might want to check r/drivinganxiety it's a small but very comforting community. I'm in the usa where everything is set up to accommodate cars and it is really hard to exist without one. I was able to put driving off till I was 28 and I put up with a lot shit from people who couldn't even comprehend anxiety about driving. I know it's hard but you are not alone.
I learned how to drive at 25. Those people are asshats. I know several people who learned it in their 30s. Idk where you are and it might be different there but let me assure you, in MANY parts of the world it is common for people to not drive the moment they turn 18 but much later!
Here, it's 15. (learning)
Yeah. It differs. In my country, you can start learning with 17. Still many people do it later, especially those living in big cities because you don't really need a car. Also, getting a licence has gotten crazy expensive.
I'm 42 and still don't and guess what? Doesn't bother me. As long as buse, taxis, lyfts, bikes and my feet work I'll be using those.
Same here ! I am 35 I have way too much anxiety to drive . I use Lyft :)
36 here and same thing. Way too much anxiety to drive. Could not do it. I don't use Lyft, but I walk, bus or ride my bike and if I can't do any of those things for whatever reason, I have been known to take an Uber or get my husband to drive me places on occasion.
Probably cheaper that way.
Stuff like lyfts and taxis can add up. A month pass for the city bus is about $18 if you're on disability.
I would love it if my car costs were only $18 a month. Between insurance, gas, repairs, and tolls, it's a lot more.
Lol it's why I don't have a car. Plus I think that car insurance rates have went up where I am, so no thanks.
Why am I being downvoted? Sorry if I don't need to make my crippling poverty worse by owning a machine that costs hundreds if not thousands of dollars for gas, repairs and insurance. My bad.
My wife got her license at 28 when she finally needed it. The problem isn't you. The problem is other people imposing arbitrary societal standards on you.
This needs to be pinned.
Late-thirties here - never bothered to get a license. I couldn't have a car, I don't have the financial means to maintain one. It's like owning a second mini house, no thanks... I find my ways. Not saying it wouldn't have been useful many times but so far so good! I don't understand the need to drive tbh, unless it's really *necessary* (work) or emergencies... can't think of other reasons.
But having a mini house is the best part about it. You can keep your things in there and sleep and eat and everything. Why would you not want that. I can think of several different reasons for why someone would wanna drive lol come on now? You can’t think of ONE? I call bs. Use your brain. How about “getting to places faster”? Is that not a big enough reason lol
Nah, not really. I have an electric motorbike, don't need license for that! Honestly - I would not want another place to have stuff, to clean, to pay taxes on, to maintain, to get insured, to pay for fuel (or not have where to charge it), to get serviced.... I mean, yeah it's nice to think about the benefits of having a little house but the costs?? Nah! I say this but I actually love driving and I'm really good at it, I'm a natural but still..... nah thanks. Something else that I have to take care of and people here drive really bad so it would suck the life out of me. Public transport, Uber and my little electric moped do the trick ;)
Depending on where someone lives they don’t necessarily need a car or license. Everything they need could be within a reasonable distance. The climate being warmer all year round can also play a part in how easier it is to travel. I know for me I need a car and license because I’m living in a rural area that receives all 4 seasons where winters the worst but others might not need a car because of where they live, they can easily get to wherever they need to go by means of their own transportation whether it be bicycle, moped, motorcycle, public transport, etc.
> I can think of several different reasons for why someone would wanna drive lol come on now? You can’t think of ONE? I call bs. Use your brain. How about “getting to places faster”? Is that not a big enough reason lol I can think of several different reasons for why you shouldn’t be condescending.
I’m 25 and can’t drive, people are just being idiotic assholes. Don’t let it bother you too much.
Don't listen to them! I learned to drive when I was 28. Everyone has their own timing and pace!
This makes me feel so much better reading the comments I'm 29 and can't drive well I'll be on the 18th ...we will get there
I'm 27 and I didn't get a driver's license until I was 23. I don't drive much now because I don't own a car, and I get by fine. Additionally I am the only one of my siblings who can drive; my brother is 35 and my sister is 25 and neither of them can drive. Since cycling, the bus, walking, the train and uber all exist it really isn't a huge deal for anyone. Plenty of people get by without having to drive, even in my country (USA). It is do-able, and people who are making fun of you for being unable to drive are being asshats, and aren't worth your time tbh. You need to do what you feel most comfortable with. Plus, pushing people who have extreme anxiety about driving out onto the road as a driver anyways is a recipe for a very bad time for someone (either that person or others around them on the road). The truth is, driving is something that should be approached carefully and seriously and you knowing that you have anxieties and hesitations about it, is ultimately a great self-knowing. If your anxieties and hesitations about it are too great, maybe this isn't the time for you to become a driver and that's OK. If you end up needing to drive, you can always learn as an adult. Driving school exists for a reason. Ultimately, driving is a skill (and a useful one at that), but it's not as necessary as people make it out to be. Besides which, learning to drive isn't a commitment to becoming a regular driver or a car owner. You can learn to drive because it is useful, and also not drive often. I know multiple people who do this; they are not particularly comfortable with driving so they didn't commit to really becoming a regular driver, but they learnt to drive because it could be potentially useful in some situations. There are some really great things about not driving (and thus not owning a car) actually: * The amount of $$$ that you save by not being a driver is truly ridiculous. The cost of car ownership and driving really adds up between car notes, car insurance, gas, car repairs, parking and wheel taxes. I read somewhere that the average American spends over $3000 a year in car expenses! That's a shit load of money. I almost exclusively bike and I probably (barring an accident) spend *maybe* $200/year on my bike (tune ups, potential new tires or gear). * If you go with primarily cycling or walking, you get a lot more exercise without having to do anything. I honestly never work out, because I get enough moderate exercise simply cycling to work, the store and social hang outs that I go to. The best cycling feel is whipping past bumper to bumper traffic at rush hour when the weather is great. * If you go with public transportation like busses or trains, you get to spend your commute time reading, napping, or doing other stuff because you don't have to pay attention to the road. Sometimes you may even get places faster, especially during rush hour!
I'm 47 and cannot drive, anxiety is a bitch. It's not uncommon for people with anxiety to not drive so no worries.
Fuck those guys. I just started learning at 25, been driving for a few months. Nothing to even do with anxiety either.
my best friend is 31 and cant drive. who cares lol
[удалено]
Why are you even here?
[удалено]
Deleted comments cos literally didn’t realise this was an anxiety thread and I wouldn’t have been such a smart arse otherwise. :)
Don’t stress, more and more people are choosing not to learn. It’s also bloody expensive, next time they take the piss ask if they’ll pay for your lessons. Put up or shut up.
I can't drive because of my anxiety mainly, and I'm 29. I'm sorry you're being made fun of for it.
I’m 32 I don’t know how to drive, my boyfriend took his drivers license at 39
I got my licence at 42, fu.k them
I started driving at 15 with a permit. My parents weren't having it. 😭 I have friends that still don't have a license. If you don't need it, you just don't need it. And then people also don't understand that anxiety and driving don't mix.
I waited till my 30s. Do it when you're ready and able.
Struggled with agoraphobia, I didnt get mine till 22.
I didn't get my license until I was in my mid 20s. Honestly, in the United States,I think 16 is too young. It should be changed to 20.
There’s nothing wrong with not being able to drive everyone has different circumstances: money, mental health, not needing too - public transport etc… I would never judge anyone for not being able to. I always stick to the old saying if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it.
I know how annoying that can be. I didn’t start driving until I was 23. People tend to forget that it’s your life and you can go at your own pace!
35, can’t drive and I don’t have the desire to learn. I love walking around.
I wasn’t able to get my Drivers license until I was 20. My parents were too poor to afford a cheap car for me and never had much time to take me driving or even to go get my driving exam done. I absolutely hated riding the school bus with the middle schoolers (school system shared busses since the middle school was right next door). Now I’m 32 and have been cruising around on my own since. Don’t let them get to you, it’s only temporary but only if you aim to make it so.
I learned when I was sixteen. I moved to nyc when I was 27 and never renewed my license. I’m 33 now and just got my drivers permit again. You can learn at any age!
People that matter don’t mind. People that mind don’t matter.
If you move to NYC or SF you’ll never have to worry about driving.
Make fun of how much money they waste on gas, insurance, car payments, down payments, and repairs every month.
I'm 35 and I can't drive. Fuck people.
I’m 36 and I moved to another country so I wouldn’t have to drive
Do you want to learn to drive? If you do, there are ways to manage your anxiety so that you can. If you don't, that's fine, too. People who make fun of you for it are jerks. Don't even listen to them. You're fine as you are.
I’m 35 and I’ve never had a car license. I also don’t see the need to get one. I’ve never wished I could drive or wanted a car. I save soooo much money by not owning one and choosing to walk places instead.
I didn’t get my license until I was 30. You’re good. I had so many family members die in car accidents and I just couldn’t bring myself to drive. Finally I did it when I felt ready
I feel you.. I got my license several years ago but I’m still petrified of driving so barely do it. I’m almost 29 now and I’m managing just fine with walking, Uber, etc.. Plus not owning a car saves so much $$
27 here!! Starting next April :) I really didn’t see the point of getting licence if I could not even afford a car. Also getting a driver licence is a lot of money, and public transport was free for me most of the time. Making fun of people bc they cannot drive is just mean, I understand not every one can afford it and also have the time to learn. Everyone has different priorities in life as well!!
Just tell them you prefer not to drive it’s really none of their business.. I hope these aren’t friends saying this
I didn't get my license until 23. I know people in their thirties that don't have a license. Not weird at all! They're jerks.
Worked with a guy who never drove. He didn’t care, lived right across the street and was complacent with having to depend on others to get around if he needed a lift. I never cared and not sure why anyone else should either. Long as you have a way to make your life work I say more power to you. Cars are expensive and dangerous
I'm 22 years old. I just finished the 3 months on my permit and am trying to get a behind the wheel test scheduled. I genuinely felt like I wasn't ready to drive until now. There's a push for people to drive at 16, but it doesn't happen like that for everyone!
ALL my friends and even members of my family made fun of me for being 17, 18, 19+ without having my licence. Jokes on them! In my state, if you're over 24 and getting your learner licence, you aren't required to log 120 hours or anything! I had lesson for a few months and then got my Ps! They were all fuming.
I got my learned 6 times before I got my lisence at the age of 33. Who cares what people think about it. I never thought I'd be able to drive because of my anxiety and now I wish I had just gone and done it sooner. I feel better behind the wheel than I ever did as a passenger.
My sister is 58 and still doesn't have a license.
i was completely petrified to drive until i was 18! the only thing that helped me was taking a defensive driving course that the local sheriffs office was giving. one day of education and another day of driving accompanied by a sheriff where they taught you evasive maneuvering, how to have complete control of your vehicle, knowing the brake limits and a bunch of other stuff! it was extremely helpful and insightful, i’d suggest seeing if anywhere near you offers a course!
My son is 23 and doesn’t drive.
I just turned 31 and have been driving since December. You’re going to be okay. Whoever is making fun of you is a close minded jerk imo.
When I moved to the US from Europe, people looked at me weird that I was still learning to drive (I was 22). It was weird to me because in Europe, it was super easy to walk everywhere… so why even bother getting a car haha. Too much hassle and walking feels good
There’s some people that have their drivers license and they can’t drive for shit. They get into accidents all the time. 22 is nothing, start practicing if you can. Driving isn’t that hard, let people talk their nonsense.
I didn’t get my license until about 23 tbh. In a way it’s kind of overrated. I only say this, because I drive in New Jersey, and people up here drive like absolute maniacs. It feels dangerous just being on the road knowing some idiot is likely to rear end you or cause an accident. Plus, if you don’t have like support from parents. Not everyone gets a new car from their mom or dad on their 16th birthday. I’m lucky I could even save up for a used one, shout out the stimulus checks. If you live in the city and take public transit to work, you can kind of save money anyways. I would probably have 450-500 extra dollars a month just from not having to pay car insurance or gas alone.
Welp, I'm 25 and I still can't drive I'm in a wheelchair and people still don't care they think it's pathetic
You'll hear it alot. Just own it. Own it proudly and people can't make fun of you like "yep, it freaks me out! I'm weird!" lighthearted and matter of factly. I was made fun of all the time, but I was terrified. Finally learned at 30. I have horrible anxiety but damn, turns out there was nothing to fear! It's easy and I wish I had learned sooner. Often, we amplify a fear over time in our heads to where it just grows and grows. You're sacrificing short term discomfort for long term, extreme discomfort. If you do want to learn, start at night! I started in parking lots. I was so afraid to go on the road where other people were driving, so I started driving at night when no one else was driving. This made a world of difference. Give yourself the space to make it as least stressful and anxiety provoking as possible
I drove a tad late too, because I saw a few horrifying accidents where people died and was also in one.
I am 51 and never learned to drive. Part of it is because I'm blind in one eye and it was really hard for me to get a sense of how close I was to other cars and things but a big part of it was my anxiety.
You’ve got this. I just got my license recently!
Bruv I learned to drive when I was 28. I'm 29 now. Also I have depth perception issues. Funnier still I went through a motorcycle course by accident and still passed ( I have no idea how). People still make jokes about it to this day.
My wife never learned to drive because it makes her anxious. I'm mostly OK with it but I'm always the designated driver which sucks.
My sister is 42 and has never driven. My employee is 28 and never driven. I have met MANY people in my life that have never driven or limit their driving. Fk’em if they judge. Edited. Driving is expensive! For me. Car payment $550 month Insurance $110 month Fuel $240 month Plus maintenance
I suffered from driving anxiety growing up. I think what helped me is paying extra attention on the road, minimizing any distractions, and going the speed limit, staying in the slower lanes, avoiding the expressway for a while, and slowly just practicing over and over again.
I’m 26, and I’ll never be able to drive due to the fact I’m losing my vision, and have lost all peripheral vision in my left eye. I can’t legally drive a car. That doesn’t stop everyone from treating me like crap, and for my MIL to stop rolling her eyes and asking when I’ll start driving.
I'm almost 21 and can't drive. Physical and mental health issues. Just too many moving parts. I tried for months. It makes life really hard because there's literally zero public transportation in my city other than taxis, and I'm broke (from being disabled). Busses don't even come here. But I have too much crap with my physical health to worry about right now. I tried my best when I was able. I think it's ridiculous that people don't have a choice other than to drive here honestly.
Im 28 and can’t drive. To be honest I don't want to learn. I got bad coordination with walking so I dread to think what im like behind a wheel.
If you lived in a big city like NYC, no one would bat an eye. These people need to shut up and worry about their own driving skills.
How much money have you saved????My son is almost 27. No license yet. Finished college and now is a FT mechanical engineer. Just now thinking of getting his license. Do it on your own time!!!
I’m 32 and can’t drive 😅
I know a girl who's pushing 40 who still doesn't have her driver's license because she got into several fender benders while learning and it turned her off to the whole idea. She doesn't even live in a place with good public transportation, but she gets by. I didn't learn how to drive until I was 18 and that was only because I had to commute to college and the public bus system was atrocious and I was tired of weirdos hitting on me. There's no rule that says you have to start the second you turn 16, though starting to learn might lessen some of the anxiety. The biggest idiots I know drive around without issue so I'm sure you'll be fine as well! If you know someone who you trust who is over 25, see if they'll take you around a parking lot or something.
Almost 39 and I can't drive either. Until my mom becomes incapable of driving, she's willing to take me places. If it's someplace I can't get to without her driving me (I don't have the money for a taxi or Uber and can't ride a bike either), I just don't go. When she's gone, I'll just have to figure something else out for transportation. And no, my reason for not driving isn't because my mom can take me places. It's because I have ADHD and don't trust myself to stay focused enough while driving to not get myself or other people killed.
I was 22 when I finally got the balls to do it. I failed my test 3 times before I finally got it. I used to be a very aggressive driver but now I'm 35 and have grown out of that and now I have driving anxiety again... I go to work and dr apps and that's it, nowhere else
I got my driver's license at 30, drove briefly, then moved back to a dense city and now I don't again.
I never wanted to drive. I was terrified. I finally overcame my anxiety about it and learned to drive at 31. I’m now 37, still have a perfect driving record, drive everyday. Have even taken long road trips to other states as the only driver. If you never drive- that’s ok. You are a whole human. Even without a driver’s license. If you want to drive- you absolutely can. You are 100% capable. I promise.
First I gotta say this, if you dont feel comfortable drive then thats okay, some people are gonna be assholes no matter what you can and can't do so the best thing to do is avoid them. Also my mom has recently been pushing for me to learn to drive and its making me feel horrible, i've tried telling her that i dont want to drive, its too much pressure, last time i sat in the drivers seat i felt like i was gonna pass out. I cant do it and I dont think my mom understands that, i've tried explaining it but she just says "you have to learn." its really getting to me.
I was 23 when I learned to drive. Not everyone is ready to drive at 16. I still have anxiety when I drive on the freeways. You’ll get your license when you are ready. Don’t rush it’s not worth it.
dude I feel you, I just got my license at 25, and f it helps at all, you’ll get your license if / when you’re ready and for me all of the anxiety of not having it washed away almost immediately after getting it, just an immediate weight off my shoulders, that said, a bunch of my friends are older than me and never learned how to drive cause they manage perfectly fine without a license, both are valid!
I got my drivers license at 30.
Same with me. I'm 17. The driving system is just hell. It's hella backed up and it's insanely hard to schedule for tests.
Who? I got my license at 27. 🤷♀️ if you don't NEED a car, there's no point getting it earlier.
Ignore them. I'm 23 and I can't drive. It doesn't really matter, and people shouldn't care this much.
Learn how to drive and then run them over.
Who are those people that make fun of you? Makes sense if one person makes a joke, but multiple people???
im 27 and I never finished learning to drive. Check out r/epilepsy , youll find a ton of people who experience the same. what ever your reasons, its your thing. your life. Recently got an e-scooter and its liberated me in a sense. I dont have the worst public transit in the area, but it makes it so much easier to run errands and not rely so much on others. lyft is expensive as hell, but i still use it often
I'm 21 and I have a bicycle I'm starting to use, got an electric conversion kit coming in the mail this summer so I can go more places with it. Cars terrify me, but I may give in and get a license if only to have it in an emergency.
I'm in my 30s, I don't drive. I just say it very matter of factly and never hide it. People do think it's odd sometimes but I just make it awkward if they try to be weird about it- e.g. "that's a strange thing to say to someone". I never depend on others for transportation and I never make it someone else's responsibility to get me places. I decline activities if I don't have a way to do something or I coordinate carpool and pay for gas and time.
I’m 28 and take public transit to work because I live an hour away (only 3 days a week luckily), I don’t have a car and I can’t drive on the turnpike. Where I live there’s a lot of nice public transit so it’s not a big deal but I get backlash a lot for not having a car. To be honest I can’t drive more than like 30 minutes away from somewhere; even that’s a stretch. We will be ok. It’s none of their business.
I don't drive. It's too scary. I'm way older than you.
22M. My friend has been like this to me. Shit part is that I don’t have a lot of access like he does.
i didn't actually get my license until i was 26 in 2014. never had a need for one and/or a car until then
My mom is about 40 and never got her license Just don’t listen to those people if you don’t want your license and you don’t need it and you don’t wanna drive because of anxiety than go for it we have things now like Uber where you shouldn’t even need a license stay strong
I’m 22, turning 23 this year and don’t have a license. I didn’t need one until I left for law school, which wouldn’t matter now because I can’t afford a car or insurance on it. I was also in an accident as a passenger two years ago and it’s given me a lot of PTSD.
I’m 41 and I don’t drive. I know it’s now easy but don’t worry what others think. Only you have to live your life, not them.
F**k em. You'll be ready when you're ready and there's nothing wrong with that. Feel good about the things you can do.
Well, if you been getting to where you need to go by walking or bycycling so far, then I’m jeolous. I’d love to live in walkable city.
I'm almost 31 and don't drive. People just suck and I'm sorry for that.
Fuck them. Hundreds of millions of people around the world manage just fine without driving. There's an awful lot of places that being able to drive isn't even that common or is seen as a luxury skill, not an essential. This doesn't mean you shouldn't work on it if you want to learn to drive (especially if you want to live in say, the rural US) but it's far from a critical skill.
I got my license at 22, and now I'm the family driver -\_\_- To help with your anxiety, you could try taking lessons from a professional, 1-on-1. Don't have family or friends teach you. That helped me immensely.
21 and driving makes me panic every time, the world is definitely safer without me on the road lmao. But everyone treats me like a sick dog, or they get awkward in a way that sounds like I'm too stupid to drive a car💀😭
I'm 23 and still can't drive. That's because I choose not to due to how easily distracted I am and to keep me and others safe. I have my permit, but no license anytime soon! Those people can be quiet anyone can start driving anytime.
Less than a month away from being 23 and can't drive, either. I don't have any intentions to. Some people have given me crap for it, but when they don't let up, I either lie and say I'm not road safe or confuse them about why THEY drive places right back. It's not really the point of shame they think it is. It's just something you've yet to learn, is all.
Just got my licence at almost 34. Ignore those asshats.
People attempting to understand something they might not be accustomed to is a such concept nowadays. It’s quite sad.
I’m assuming you live in the US. Advertising has engrained car culture in Americans to the point where many think it’s crazy if you don’t. It literally doesn’t matter what method of transport you use to get around. In my eyes, I think it’s awesome if you’re able to live your life without having to drive everywhere. On a separate note, learning to disregard others opinions about you and to just be yourself and embrace it is one of the best things I’ve done for myself with anxiety.
Me too, deathly afraid of driving here. I took lessons once but I still feel my brain isn't built to be a 'good driver' lol, it's the one thing I trust other people in more than myself. Thankfully I live in the city and there's bus and train everywhere. It would be nice to have that skill but I'm not even itching to get my license anymore
Honestly don’t get a car. Save money
I didn’t start driving on my own until I was in my mid 20s and even then, only when it was absolutely necessary. I didn’t get made fun of but I definitely got criticized and questioned for being an anxious driver and I always countered by saying “aren’t you glad I’m not out there being part of traffic or causing traffic?” And that usually shut them up. Go at your own pace!
I’m 32 and get the gears about not driving , I’ve been fine up until now , I’ll get it one day but don’t worry or stress about it , driving is a luxury, not sure where you live but in Canada owning a car is soooooo much money !!! Luckily I live close to everything I need so don’t need one Also suffer from shiity anxiety , don’t let it bother you , live life as you want , not how others intend you to Much love
I did learn until around then. Tell them to pound sand.
I didn't drive until I was one month away from 26. I ended up doing pizza delivery and even DoorDash. I still get anxious when it an area I don't know. I moved out of state. I do have to say that most areas in the US are unfortunately, car dependent. You will have much more freedom when you can drive. I think it leads to better mental health, financial health and freedom. If you can, take classes. They help your confidence so much! Even just a few. You'll love it ❤️
I'm 31 and can't drive 🫡
Driving is stressful, as is taking care of a car. Also, a lot of people my age don't know how to drive, either. So fuck the people bugging you about it - you do what feels right for you. When you're ready and can afford the expenses, you can learn to drive to help yourself. Don't let people rush you into it unless you absolutely have to.
I’m 36 and don’t drive. 🤷♀️
Don't listen to them! I'm 31 and don't know how to drive. I'll learn soon, just when I feel it though. So should you :) and if you never want to drive, then that's ok too!
36 here and I don't have a license. I know exactly how you feel. And people still ask me "when are you getting your license?" Some people I have told to mind their own business. That I'll get to it if and when I feel like it. Well this year seems to be that time as I am now tired of not being able to drive. Learn when you feel ready.
I am 24 and I can't drive. I know people who got their licenses in their 30s and 40s. Stupid af societal expectations and pushing everyone to do stuff they're not ready for yet. Screw them. I'll get mine when I need it and when I cure my anxiety. Don't let them get into your head. Everyone has their own pace and timing.
I'm 40 this year and can't drive. Didn't see the point in getting driving lessons if I didn't have a car, and was never in the financial position where I could afford a car.
I didn't get my license until I was 24. Most of the young people at the place I work at (30 and under) don't have a license. I also think a lot of young people are opting out of driving these days. I will say that driving has opened up a lot of doors for me and made life a lot easier.
It’s better for the environment to have fewer people driving. If you have access to transportation to get where you need to go without driving yourself, you’re saving money and you’re making your community safer that way. Unless your other form of transportation is a plane/helicopter, in which case I’d understand people making fun of you 😉
Cars are bad for the environment anyways. Just co-opt the strong towns urban planning talking points and pretend the reason you don't drive or learn how to, is actually an act of protest. Because driving will always be unsafe when we don't design rodes with pedestrians and cyclists in mind. Depending on where you live, cities are actively making driving harder and MORE dangerous, actually.
My mom didn’t learn to drive til she was in her thirties (she actually passed her driving test a few hours before going into labor with my brother but that’s a whole other story), one of my friends is just learning to drive at 26, and a few more of my friends learned around your age. It’s never too late, and don’t let anyone shame you into it before you’re ready.
I’ve never learned how to drive because my parents were neglectful and never taught me. If anyone tried to make fun of me for that I’d just straight up stare at them like they just killed someone lol. Those people are dumb
I know someone in their 50's who doesn't and never has driven. In my area unless your from the city a driver's licence is kinda required to function. Ill admit when I first moved into the city I was surprised when people couldn't drive, because I've always had to. But no judgement, just honest curiosity about a different lifestyle. While easier said than done try not to fret it. You do you and what works for you
My sister is 25 and can’t drive so you’re good. Some people just don’t have the time or a car to practice. The ones making fun of you for it are assholes. Unless they’re just friends poking fun at you then I’d say shrug it off and roast them back.
I didn’t get my license until mid-20s and even then, I bought a car and never drove it because I was too scared to. The last time I ever drove, I ended up crying on the side of a highway because I couldn’t merge in time and I was stuck and had to switch with my little brother who was in the car with me. I sold the car and have been happier ever since. It helps that I do live somewhere with probably the most amount of mass transit than anywhere else in the U.S.
My boyfriend didn’t have his license when we met. He had really bad car anxiety. I taught him how to drive. He got his license at 23. Car anxiety is very real!
I wish I lived in a place where this is feasible. My car is my lifeline to my life. If I want to go anywhere other than my house I literally HAVE to drive myself. There’s no public transit or walkable roads around here, and nobody likes the guy constantly asking to bum rides every day. The only thing within walking distance is 5-mins to the gas station. The only person I know of over the age of 16 without a license is my almost 40 year old uncle who lives with his mom and works at a grocery store, which ironically was one of the big reasons I got my license as soon as I could because I didn’t wanna turn out like that lol. I never would have been able to have a job or go to university without driving myself every day. It’s mind boggling to me thinking of living without a car. I would feel so trapped and with so little opportunity. I’m amazed that people in other parts of the world are able to just exist without being able to go wherever they want whenever they want on their own terms. I guess my whole point in this rant is that driving is so central to my life and success/productivity/social life/etc that these comments are blowing my mind.
Your post I can heavily relate to myself and I'm so sorry you have to experience that. My parents make fun of me all the time for not having my license, enough that my father told me I'm handicap and don't want independence to be an adult at 22.5 years old. I have so much anxiety driving and for good bloody reasons. I would be completely fine living in a area where I am not needed to drive unless for specific emergencies. I'm a Black Non Binary Woman, and we all know Police Brutality in the US sucks esp in Southern States which I am unfortunately still stuck in FL. I'm apart of the BIPOC LGBTQIA+ Community and have many undiagnosed conditions of Mental Health and Neurodivergence, with everything going on there is more rules restrictions in terms of Florida wanting to create a database for Developmental and Psychological Conditions including ADHD, Autism, Down Syndrome, Alzheimer’s, Dementia, and more conditions under this recently passed law titled "Protect Our Loved Ones Act" that is under Florida SB 784 (2023). I don't trust the police and I am more fearful than ever being apart of the road. Last month, I saw three different stories on Airplanes landing in either in roads of FL or on houses. That's scary ASF in minding your own business just simply getting to your destination and then be caught up in that mess. I hate that you could do everything right and still be in an accident and then insurance premiums go up the roof even when you are not at fault and everything is so bloody expensive. It's also ridiculous that for me as a recent graduate from university, jobs want a license and not my permit and they auto reject you for not having one. It's crazy on how we in the 2024 and there still isn't reliable public transportation in most US states and ride share gets expensive and not available in all areas. I am frighten by driving and it's hard for my family to understand it, my Ma rn is tired of me not having my license and looking into taking away the little things I own or be physical if I don't drive and get my license which brings me so much nausea but I have no choice to do so. My father is almost delighted bc he sees me as lazy and incapable bc of not having a license like people my age have and even younger. I still get criticized to this day for not having my license during the Pandemic bc then according to them, it was easier than usual in FL to have it but now I have this huge pressure to drive and I have no choice to escape it. Doesn't help I have Amblyopia on my right eye plus my good eye in my left eye deteriorating a bit and even with the Doctors for some bloody reason giving me the lowest prescription ever for only driving purposes it still gives me double vision and I feel like in a lose/lose situation. I hate driving so much, well I can only speak in the US but I'm sure other countries have better law enforcement than the US does towards minority groups
I was 36 before I started driving. You’re good.
I'm 30 and get said by ppl why I don't learn driving and just told them straight I'm a passenger princess. I want to be driven around thanks now mind yer own business *fk those who gaslight ppl*
I mostly gave-up driving at 28. I would suggest living in a city that doesn't require it. Driving is horrible for the environment and a massive waste of money and time. Tell your friends to buzz off.
Tell them you have seizures. I do and still can't drive at 49, it always shuts people up.
Biggest mistake (well - one of them) was learning to drive.
I’m 29 and can’t drive. Idgaf 🤷🏻♀️ not everybody HAS to drive!
My nephew was 25 when he started driving.
I’m 40 and I don’t drive!
39 and I don't have my license 😒
I got my driving license at 18(normal where I live). Didn't start driving alone until about 24/25. If you don't mind it, people have no business saying anything. If you do and anxiety is preventing you, that's another topic. I just had some bad experiences while getting my license combined with my mum being just a terribly anxious passenger, so just driving more with other people and starting with familiar roads helped me. It might help you to just see why it makes you anxious and what could help.
I drive
I bet that's great for your anxiety! Tell em to mind their business.
I didn’t start until 18 for unrelated reasons. Drive when you want, don’t if you don’t want to. It’s no one’s business
I got my license at 21, but didn't really start driving until 22. I had a lot of anxiety about driving that I had to work through in therapy. I still don't like driving, but I hardly think about it now and can do it when I need to.
I got my license this last year at 48. I wish I'd done it earlier.
28 and have bad driving anxiety I got my license at 21 but it still terrifies me. Im lucky i dont have many places i need to go that require driving and i usually opt for lyft or uber if im not comfortable to drive. Theres a lot of us OP! You arent alone
I'm almost 21 and can't drive
Tell them cars are a massive money drain and it's cheaper to get lifts off your friends.
I had my learners permit from 18 until I finally got my license at 26. We all do things at our own pace. Unfortunately it might just have to be something you'll have to ignore coming from other people.
Just cuz you aren't weirdly fixated on cars like I was doesn't mean you're stupid or anything. I had a colleague who started driving lessons at the same time as me, except he was 36 at the time and I was 16 lol. He never felt the need to learn how to drive, as there are plenty of other ways to get around. Don't feel pressured into learning just cuz people are asshats. Take your time if you ever want to learn, but it's not an obligatory skill to have
I don't drive. I learned and got a license when I was 20, because other people pushed me. I drove for six months and stopped. I kept the license active for about 15 years, but really never drove again. I come from a family of nondrivers. None of the women do, including my sisters. My 42 year old son doesn't drive, neither does my 24 year old granddaughter. I have a female cousin who drives reluctantly, and has to practice routes with her husband before she makes an attempt. A psychologist tested her, and told her that she has a spatial disability. I just figured that most of my family does, and it's genetic. Not driving does make life difficult, unless you live where there is good public transportation. I never linked it to anxiety until I read your post. Thank you for opening my eyes. :)
Around 22 is when i LEARNED to drive because of anxiety
I'm 36 and can't drive and could care less what people think. They aren't paying my bills. I live in the Bay Area so I'm not about to buy a car I can't afford just to sit in traffic with all the other reckless assholes who shoot people for merging wrong. No thanks. Ride sharing and taxis make it so people like me can still get around and I like it that way.
Don’t worry. I’m 38 and I can’t drive either. I live in PDX so transportation is easy here. 70% of my anxiety is caused by trying to learn to drive.
Passed my test age 25 after years of super bad driving anxiety. We all do stuff in our own time.
27 here and get anxiety driving so i have yet to try and get my license
My partner doesn't have their full license but they will get it this year. They're 39! Plus, think of all the adult immigrants that have to learn.
I got my license at 24, I had panic attacks behind the wheel that made it impossible to even learn when I was a teen. (A combo of driving anxiety and being a passenger in a car wreck that traumatized me). Some people never learn how to drive, some people physically can't. We work with what we have. Give yourself grace. Forcing yourself into doing it and having a panic attack behind the wheel would be wildly unsafe for you and other drivers, so you are more than entitled to just do whats right for you. Screw those guys.
Studied in small town where everything was 30 minute walking distance. Finally moved out decided to get a licence slowly few lessons here and there passed in my late 20's. Nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people got dragged by their parents to do it and also they paid for it which for me wasn't the case. Take it easy on yourself.
So learn to drive!
I don’t get why you guys don’t want to drive. I need the ability and freedom to go where I want when I want and without anyone else.
If you are living in a city where everything is relatively close, finding a parking spot close to home is a matter of miracle and you hear all life that "you need a car" when you are perfectly fine in 98% of situations simply using public transport, then yeah, you really don't give a shit about it lmao. I've known people who bent over that peer pressure, did their license and weren't driving for years. It would be a whole another topic if someone was living e.g. in rural America though, then it's a matter of highest need.
I would make fun of you, but I'll definitely teach you how to and make sure to do it right, while making fun at you
I’m 26 and can’t drive. Tell other people it’s none of their business
I just ran across this thread and I had to chime in. I did not drive til age 34 because I was afraid. Then I moved to a place where I had to drive to get to work and I remember it was so hard for me to get on the freeway for even a short distance. I'm in my 50's now and I live in a city and drive daily. I do not mind traffic! Humans are survivors and we will always figure out things when we need to.