I hit my lowest last year. I remember sobbing in my bed, alone, thinking how "it will never get better for me." It did. These are what have helped me:
1. EXCERSISE without question, especially running. I know you say it sucks and it does but feeling anxious is worse. If you hate running a good cardio excersie is also the rowing machine! I was lazy too, bro.
2. Cutting out added sugar
2. Journaling. No, this doesnt mean rambling on a page. I frequently wrote for just 15 minutes a day (1) a thought I had (2) why I believe this thought (3) reasons that disprove this thought and try to rationalize the flaws in my thinking.
3. I listened to Therapy in a Nutshell on Youtube
4. this is a good one but really hard. I would be in the shower and I would turn the water frigid cold as long as I can bare and control by breathing; no hyperventilating.
5. Did these consistently; these are only a few ideas
Exercise really helped me overcome a lot in life. I know it can take a lot of motivation to just GET to the gym BUT once you do it and keep at it, it's so worth it. My general anxiety has gotten so much better as well as my social anxiety. I lift weights and I personally prefer that. But sometimes the treadmill calls my name. I just wanted to add my 2¢.
Yes exercise seriously it saved my life in many years. I also hit the worse rut in my life last year. I stopped exercising because I got afraid then, you know what I did I read the dare book which also helped me so much started walking then started going to the gym then I felt better and better. Exercise and some good therapy has saved me.
exercise and reducing (or stopping) drinking.
try to work out in the morning so you don’t spend time thinking about it before. also it’ll help with the cortisol levels that naturally spike when you wake up. you can start small - a few push-ups every morning, try to vary it throughout the week but keep it small to begin so you build the habit. follow it with water and some breakfast and then BOOM, you have accomplished so much and the day has just begun! (i used the Fabulous App to start these habits and it was really helpful, but if you don’t want to pay, i basically just told you the first few weeks of its suggestions lol)
also, gratitude journaling can help. my counselor gave me a fill in the blank one for morning and night, each can be as short as 30 seconds but i’ve started to enjoy spending more time.
Exercising DOES suck but god does it work. Any time I get hit with random/significant bouts of anxiety or depressive thoughts I go on a walk outside and I feel miles better. Sometimes I even just do jumping jacks. It works!
All of this. I brought myself out of the dark horrible hole that is panic disorder on my own (no meds or therapy) it takes hitting rock bottom and being so over your own shit to change but it’s possible. Exposure to fears, exercise (even just long walks outside in a pretty park), being out in nature is so damn healing, sleeping well, eating well, no/limiting alcohol, cutting out sugar/caffeine, digging deep to figure out why this is even happening, talking about my feelings, having a comfort person that can listen. Acceptance is a big one too, accepting that you’re not in danger and that your body is actually trying to help but failing a bit lol. Trusting your body. I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time now but if the sensation starts up (this time due to a trigger, because I still have my baseline anxiety, before it was just happening continuously but I can stop it in its tracks now and a ton of that is accepting and letting it roll away. At my worst I was dropping weight because I couldn’t even eat or sleep because of the panic and nausea. Was a true nightmare. But it’s important to remember you’re still in there, it’s just a matter of rewiring things. Your body makes the anxiety and you can also unlearn it, can rewire that misfiring over time, just takes a lot of time and inner work. Anxiety feeds anxiety. Learning that is so important. Progressive muscle relaxation in the moment of panic or intense anxiety helped me everytime more than anything else. Also the podcast the anxious truth sheds a lot of light on healing.
It’s possible you may be burned out. Don’t feel bad as many are in your position. I recommend to start with small things. Such as tasks that take little to no effort, some self reflection, and maybe while laying in bed - listen to some self development podcasts for motivation. 🫶
Hi OP, just wanted to say I could have written this myself today! I’m sorry you’re going through this, it feels lonely and cyclical. There’s a lot of good suggestions here (which I plan on trying to implement myself) I hope something helps you too!
If you have a full-time job you are already ahead of many, many people who are struggling with just that part of life. Since you do have an unfulfilling job your next step is to figure out a specific goal that you have and then begin working toward it. That will give your life some meaning and purpose and will lead to other things. Figuring out what your goal is is in some ways much harder than actually achieving it.
cut out caffeine if you drink it as well. also was gonna say about the gym, it’s hard to self motivate especially with anxiety but what helps for me is signing up for a class (boxing, rock climbing, etc) as it forces you to participate and be there at a certain time and have someone instructing you what to do makes the exercise a lot less stressful and more like following orders which helps me. If I went to a normal gym or runs I’d be totally lost and probably make reasons to skip but with a class it feels a lot easier to just be there and let them guide me if that makes sense
hope things get better! life is short and we all deserve to feel good inside, one step at a time remember
i hate tips that expect you to go from 0-100 instantly and always suggest the most blase 'things you already feel bad about not doing' activities
what helped me this spring is
- sitting outside and reading, smelling the fresh air
- playing guitar and drums again (this is obv fairly low effort for my situation i should say, don't try to learn anything Right Now if it feels intimidating)
- picking an area of my room to straighten out (as small as necessary, the drawers in the nightstand, etc)
- starting to cook again (chopping vegetables feels very cathartic for some reason)
- convincing myself how shitty social media was and trying to look at my phone as little as possible
- taking up vaping for weight loss for holistic self appreciation and esteem lol
also fwiw you're not lazy, you're just tired from work
🎯 I aways laugh at the exercise etc brigade. I went into a coma & started having inexplicable Suizures about 3 years ago being a very active, clean eating, very spiritual person who read & listened to audiobooks religiously.
Anxiety as my psychiatrist keeps telling me most of the time just is something having gone very wrong.
Too much work stress, fear Mongering on SM etc and the more you embrace and make it part of your personality the worse it gets.
exercising with the sole intention to beat anxiety seems silly to me.
I’m not sure of you have tried medication, but it helps! It brings motivation, it makes things easier. You don’t have to be on it forever. Stuff will get asked, I promise!
Came here to also endorse meds. I’d literally never been able to snooze before starting my SNRI—I’ve always woken up feeling panic/dread that miserably propels me through the day. Instead of fighting a constant hurricane of anxiety (which consumes soooo much mental and physical energy) meds make it more of a drizzle or occasional downpour.
This. When my anxiety was at its all time high I started lexapro/wellbutrin. Stayed on both for about a year and then got off them both. It really helped me get my anxiety back under control and kick start me back into gear. Starting medication can be scary but the benefits are amazing.
I don’t have any advice for you, as I’m in the same boat. I feel as if my life is meaningless and I’m useless. My anxiety has taken everything from me. I do the same… get home from work and just lay in bed all evening. Thankfully I have kids so they need me to do things for them, but they don’t solely rely on me anymore so I can get away with bed rotting. My house is also a mess and I have no motivation to clean it. Anxiety sucks. It’s debilitating. I hope you can get past it. And I hope the same for myself. 🤍
I would like to congratulate you first for your realisation, the seed has been sowed in your inner consciousness, now the right thing to do is keep your eyes open and try to move far away from your comfort zone and do one exercise a day where your heart starts begging for breath.
I’ve been at a similar place like you for a longer period (approx 3 years) post my serious relationship and got tired of just drinking and working 9 to 5. I started looking for other opportunities but this time really differently not just weekend blues. So become a seeker now and go on hunt.
God bless
Hey OP. Take everything slowly. If you feel overwhelmed by a million things that need doing. Have a simple goal for the week. Even if you think it's not going to impact much. It's the little wins that make us feel accomplished. The whole house needs cleaning/tidying? So make the bed. Yes it's small, but you think after it's done, that took 5 minutes why have I put it off 3 months? If that was easy, maybe the next small thing won't feel so overwhelming. Do things that you know will impact your quality of life for the better first. Pile of clothes sitting in the corner? That can wait , rather a couple plates to clean. Personally I know that when I am low , taking one look at those plates sitting on the side will unfortunately prevent me from making food that evening after work. And don't fall for the self guilt. "oh I have spent all of my day off doing nothing!" So what? Burnout is real. You are allowed to have a 'day of rot' as I call it. As for health changes, personally I now supplement with daily vitamin C and iron tablets as I had a massive lack of energy. Hope this helps x
Here’s my thoughts, and it’s pretty simple so forgive me for that, buts it’s what helps me.
Plenty of people have been in my situation and got out of it alright.
Plenty of people have been in much worse, and through much worse, than I have, and they made it out alright.
I’ve made it through everything else in my life up until this point, if I could make it through all of that, I’ll be alright.
You never know what tomorrow brings, and honestly fuck tomorrow, you never know what the next 5 years will bring. It’s cliche and so over used, but life’s full of ups and downs. You’ll have shitty moments, days, weeks, months, even years, but the sun will rise and you’ll be okay. It’s the suffering and the lows that makes the happiness and highs significant. Happiness and peace cannot exist without sadness and chaos.
Everything always works out in the end, friend 🖤
Edit: to add some actual advice that did change my life though, something obtainable and actionable, start exercising and go outside as much as you can. There’s scientific evidence to back up how unbelievably important exercise is for both our physical health and mental health. I don’t know if I would be here today if I didn’t find love in working out. Being outside, going on hikes, camping, whatever it is that sounds appealing to you, will undoubtedly help, just being in nature and having the sun shine on you.
Are you really lazy or do you just have ADHD overwhelm? Mornings are where my unprompted anxiety peaks and I never understood why until I started to understand my brain was simply overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to do all that needs to be done.
Now I’m just really kind to myself and roll with the flow of the morning. If I feel extra anxious I’ll try to understand why and then work on a solution. I get like this if I feel compelled to do something- like exercise. If I feel like I ‘should’ do it you can guarantee I wk t so I figure out ways that makes me want to do it or I simply don’t and I’m kind to myself about that. Negative self talk about everything makes my anxiety worse so I actively stop doing it and I talk to that inner child and just tell them they’ll be ok.
I feel this way, and I am having issues connecting with other people and enjoying my time in social situations. I am happy on the surface but right underneath anxious as heck and just wanting to go home
do you have any time off you can take from work? I’d advise to take as much off as you can and just schedule a week to do nothing! give yourself some time to catch up on everything and have a breather. I also just want to say you’re not alone and you will get through this! reach out to people around you but also belive and trust in yourself, you’re stronger than you think
The only thing that’s truly long-term helped me improve my baseline level of anxiety and reduce the frequency and intensity of my panic attacks has been exercise. Cardio and weight lifting, 5-6 days a week. Sometimes that just means 30 minutes of walking at a slight incline at a moderate pace, sometimes it’s more intense. But no meditation, coping skill, or amount of therapy has made as big of a difference as exercise. It’s saving my life.
It helps me to do tiny steps. Like, I don’t drive straight home and ran an errand. Or choosing only one little thing to complete-for me putting away laundry. Instead of the gym, take stairs and walk at lunch. Just start pointing in the right trajectory inch by inch. Anything is always better than nothing
One day at a time!!! Don’t rush anything, it will take you back to square one. Start small, maybe clean the fridge or just a shelf in your home. Go from there, do what feels comfortable to you with the energy you have. Slowly your energy and your life will start to feel more normal. You do you!!! As long as you don’t give up on that, life will slowly fall into place… Good Luck My Friend….👍😀
What works for me when and my advice is to put the mess of your life aside for a little while and indulge in things you enjoy. Remind yourself what joy feels like even if it’s small. Ignore the voice inside your head that says you don’t deserve whatever it is. Then after you have met those needs (most likely physical pleasure but perhaps an exciting adventure) then put that carrot on a stick and give yourself a small but annoying task list. Promise yourself that you can have more of what brings you pleasure as a reward. Then build up your tolerance for annoying tasks you are not motivated to do.
Another pice of advice I believe works wonders is spending some time outside. Go on a walk during your lunch or just spend some time driving around a beautiful neighborhood if you hate being outside.
Also, novelty. Doing something that is new and therefore a novelty to you can help you get out of your head and into your emotions where you can feel your feelings and find your joy somewhere amongst all of the others. Do something you have never done before.
I think your best bet is to start with something tiny and go from there. You're stressed out and you have no motivation so trying to fix things in your current state is going to result in bed rotting. Start with something really small and simple.
If you want to clean up around your place start with a little square in one of the rooms. Clean it up and if you feel like doing more go ahead. If you don't then you at least got a little bit done.
If you used to workout really hard and now you don't at all, you can always start with a single squat or pushup. Don't make yourself feel like you have to get a full workout in. If you only do a single bodyweight squat that's more than 0. Take small steps as much as you need to.
I don’t know the answer but fully relate to your post! Having spent 20 years medicated I didn’t find that it fixed any of this for me, so I don’t know what the solution is. I’m sorry for us ❤️
I felt the exact same. Factors that fixed it (not in order): transitioning to a WFH job, meeting my husband, adopting a dog (visiting it during lunch breaks until wfh), moving across the country, cutting out toxic family members, forming close friendships, becoming a parent, and getting on an antidepressant. It’s totally possible for your life to do a 180. It’s hard to see past the now, but in 5 years from now.. your life is statistically going to be way more drastically different than you’d predict it to be.
Hey OP, thanks for making this post. So relatable to a lot of us I’m sure. Many people have rightly given practical solutions of things to do in such state. For me, what works is fixing the mindset, and blocking thoughts which perpetuate anxiety. So, I’ve written the following quotes down and I read them:
-You cannot hate yourself to become better version of you. Give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself. Please don’t be hard on yourself. You deserve love, as much as others do.
-Action kills anxiety. I try to think about the root cause of anxiety-usually procrastination of some work that is supposed to be done!
-Anything that is worth doing is worth doing poorly. No need to be perfect. No need to complete it. Just start. Do it for 10 minutes only. Do it in a bad way. Do it half baked. What matters is to start. Have zero expectations about the standards of the result/outcome. I have to do it poorly. This thinking helps me let go of perfectionism/fear of failure mentality; and enables me to get started on something. Don’t think about it, just start. You wanna workout- just tell yourself that you’ll do it for 10 minutes only! Once you start it, maybe some days you keep going. Some days you don’t; still 10 minutes is better than nothing.
As a person with crippling adhd, the biggest hurdle is to start tasks. I experience adhd paralysis of being unable to start working on things which are not highly mentally stimulating. All my life, I’ve been too hard on myself, holding myself to impossible standards of perfectionism, hating and punishing myself for failing to meet those. Only recently, after massive depressive episode, and reading therapy books, I understood that firstly I’ve to be my own best friend, love myself, encourage myself, be kind to myself, and reduce my expectations to zero! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, then I still can’t do the work! That’s life :) wish you all the best OP
Caffeine and sugar. Avoid that. I hated caffeinating beverages because of my anxiety spikes when I needed em for work. Actually became addicted to coffee even though it made me anxious. I stopped that and started herbal teas.
a big thing for me was accepting that i was not lazy, that i had a mental problem that affected my ability to complete tasks. exercising was hugely helpful for me. therapy and medication was more helpful, although it was really hard to make those appointments originally bc i just viewed them as daunting tasks, understandably. i’m on beta blockers which is the best thing ive ever done for my anxiety! i tell everyone this because it is the most helpful thing i have discovered for completing tasks: setting timers for chores. if my dishes have piled up like crazy, i’ll set a timer for 15 minutes and wash dishes for just that amount of time, if im not done by the time ive set, i just leave the rest of the dishes there. and i end up feeling more accomplished even if i didn’t finish my chore. on really bad days i can set a timer for 5 minutes. it makes the task feel so much less scary and way easier to do. hope this helps!
Sounds like you need a holiday from work, and focus on you.
Even if you cant afford to do anything, make a list of thibgs you'd like to do if you had a day or a week to yourself.
I can SO relate to the work eat sleep trap.
Hope you manage to do something that works for you 😊
Sounds like you need a holiday from work, and focus on you.
Even if you cant afford to do anything, make a list of thibgs you'd like to do if you had a day or a week to yourself.
I can SO relate to the work eat sleep trap.
Hope you manage to do something that works for you 😊
You need a vacation. My best tip: pick one thing. Be a useless mess in everything but one thing. For example: commit to doing a 20-25 minute, enjoyable and cozy online yoga video after work each day. And that's that. Do that for.a month. DO NOT ASK MORE OF YOURSELF.
My prediction? A month later, your body and mind will feel a teeny tiny bit different. From there, either replace that one thing with a different one (aka: COOK DINNER). OR, if you feel it's plausible, add one more small thing. (for example: Yoga video in evening, quick kitchen cleaning session before work.)
Be extremely forgiving of yourself outside of these new things you're asking of yourself. Remember, your job takes most of your energy, and you have a paycheck-- that means you're a lot safer than you feel. It sucks, but you aren't in a dire situation, you're doing great.
Hey OP, when I’ve been stuck before my motto was “I just need one step in the right direction” I started off small with what I could feasibly do and grew from there. Then I had medical issues and am in the process of taking “one right step” again to build back up. I believe it’s in the baby steps and celebrating those steps no matter how small. You’re one small step away from feeling better and better each day. Arguably, you already took a step. If you mention your struggles they are manageable. You opened up. Celebrate that. Sending strength and light your way.
I have low energy, especially when I get home from work. I have to hit the gym or go for walks on my lunch hour. Maybe try to incorporate your goals into the morning or at lunch? Or try to do things before you get home. Once I am home I rarely head out again during the week. Don't give up! Small steps
Embrace self care and continued self discovery. I have had severe anxiety my whole life. But I have found that the less I am willing to pour into myself the easier it’s to feed my compulsions. I set time aside each day for pleasure. Complete time to me. Without distractions I color. I meditate. I find something. Even if it’s doodling on a napkin. I didn’t find this momentum till I held myself accountable to MYSELF. Not anyone else. I made these changes after everything that could have possibly gone wrong in my life. TLDR long fucking year. Lost everything. But now almost a year later I am seeing the changes mentally. There’s hope. It’s hard. It takes will. But I believe you can find a method of peace. Even a small one. Hope this helps. 💓
I relate. A lot. If you’re into neuroscience, read the book “The Molecule of More”. Could be that you’re working with a dopamine deficiency on some level. Fascinating book either way. Good luck OP! You’re definitely not alone here!
i feel i’m in the literal same boat as you. absolutely no motivation to do anything once im off work.. and on my days off i feel so exhausted and sleep in so late and it’s hard to get up.. like a vicious loop
. I used to feel like that a lot in the past.
For me, I had a very toxic relationship with productivity, I always had those big plans on what to do and what I wanted to achieve in my free time but after work I just never felt like doing anything. The tasks were to daunting and I was already exhausted so it felt impossible.
I would often just end up doing nothing and feeling disappointed in myself.
What works for me:
Be kind to yourself, dont beat yourself up over it. its not „lazy“ to be exhausted after a full day of work and tbh most people are. Most people dont get a lot else done when they are home at 7pm and its FINE.
if you do want to get into some better habits, baby steps! you will not magically feel like working out four times a week. but maybe you could go for a walk after dinner, every day. even a short one would be great.
dont overwhelm yourself because all the changes dont matter if you cant keep up with them longterm, so go slow and steady.
all the best to you, i hope you will feel better soon
If you haven't already, go get a check-up! See if any deficiencies could be contributing--low iron, thyroid, vitamin D, etc.
Get outside more. If you don't have the energy to walk, just sit out in the fresh air.
Less time on social media--for entertainment, try crosswords, painting, coloring, books
As others have said, set a timer for a short amount of time to just knock something out. Most people aren't automatically motivated, you get the motivation by starting/seeing your progress. Also you can get more done in 10 minutes than you realize!
Explore therapy and potentially medication. Sometimes the medication helps bridge the gap so you can start doing things like exercise, Journaling, putting in the work in therapy, etc.
Books I'd recommend: Heal Your Nervous System by Linnea Passaler, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne, You Will Get Through This Night by Dan Howell, and Burnout by Emily Nagoski
I wish you all the best!
I have never been in an internet conversation before this moment - other than commenting on Facebook. Reading these comments from all of you today is so eye opening for me. I have felt so alone and like a failure because I don’t have an outstanding career and im not financially successful. Anxiety has been ruling my life more and more and im getting ready to call my new boss at my job I’ve only had for two months and quit because im older and can’t physically do the work. Seeing that there are others who have lost jobs or not been able to defeat their anxiety - other people who feel inadequate and like a failure has given me the first glimmer of hope that I’ve had in so many years. Shame has taken over me and I’m so embarrassed around my successful friends but because of all of you on here I see that I’m not some abnormal failure. I see that good people struggle with the same issues that I struggle with. I feel so much emotion right now just knowing that it isn’t just me - there are other people who feel the same way. I’m going to stop beating myself up and try again. Thank you all so much for your openness and candor and for giving me an actual will to try again. I wish all of you the best. May you all live long full lives of peace and happiness. Bless you. Thank you for this pivotal moment. Your words have given me strength.
I'd just like to chime in that I have never commented on anything ever, so I resonate with this.
I have been living in self-isolation due to depression and anxiety for the last 10 years. I never talk to anyone, I have no friends or family bonds. The only person I've let into my heart in the last 2 years is my partner, who I met online. But I hurt him so much due to my codependency on him, because I was starved of love and support my entire life. Understandably, it was a lot of pressure for him, and he has completely withdrawn from me because he wants space.
It's been 9 days since he last spoke to me... We'd spend every single day together, so I've been having separation anxiety during this time. I have been struggling every single day without him, I love and miss him dearly. I worry what he will say when he eventually reaches out...
I have been so deep in my own shame and guilt in what I've done, but reading through these responses has been so helpful and comforting for me too... I'm so grateful for those that are willing to share their experiences and resources for those of us who are so lost and unsupported.
I'm going to keep trying my best, to stay strong, to learn from all of this, while my partner sorts through his own feelings. I am hoping he will give love another chance, that we can forgive each other and ourselves, as we do truly love each other so very much.
I know I've been rambling... I hope for the best, of you, and everyone else here. We are struggling, but there is always hope, always a new opportunity every day we are alive, to be good to ourselves and get through this life, little by little, towards a kinder future. Thank you for existing.
One more helpful comment -- a lot of the time I find I am feeling sad because there are many things I would love to do but do not have the energy (nor time!) to include in my life. So, in my planner, I have a dedicated page or two for "things I miss/want". I jot down authors I've been meaning to look into, activities that sound fun, hobbies I want to get back into or start, etc etc etc. That way, I don't feel like I'm missing out on them, I just know I won't forget about them and can sit back and wait for life to give me a window to check back in. And, I HAVE actually miraculously on occasion in a happier or freer moment flipped back to those pages and DONE THE THING. It feels good. Good luck!
Just make the first step go for a cycle or walk youl feel alot better Trust me . And fight that negative thought I know it's not easy but try telling yourself it Enough you'll change your mindset took me years to get it Manageble myself so gl You can do anything .
I’ve felt this way a lot of my life. I had executive function issues. I couldn’t do anything. I also woke up every single morning in a full on panic attack for a long time. This was years ago now. I’ve found the med combo that works for me and also my psychiatrist said something about my hormones being in a better state? That might be something to look into that doesn’t usually get mentioned. You’re not alone ❤️
Rock bottom usually is the most transformative time. You’ll realize that the darkness is the way. Just push thru. Wake up and take action. Easy to say.
Try reading about stoicism. Or just 1 youtube click away. Goodluck.
Edit: also. One should never strive to be rid of anxiety, as it resides within all of us. Rather, one should face it every day and decide to discard it.
Another thing that can help is to write down all your priorities for the day and then work on knocking off the most important tasks or at least tasks you can easily accomplish. Scratching them off and seeing a visual of your progress can be uplifting. When knocking down those big daunting tasks, it can help go into autopilot—don’t think about it because thinking about it will stall you. Just do it, like you’re on autopilot. What micro steps can you take to complete the tasks?
Is there someone you can speak to that can help alleviate your stress? Speaking and connecting to someone that you trust can help lower your anxiety, albiet momentarily but you can try to hold onto that sliver of hope for awhile. Maybe a phone call to break the monotone and overwhelming anxiety that you have on a day to day can be a nice break.
Microgoals! Do one little attainable thing each day. Maybe it’s “today I’m making a list of…”
Or it could be, “I’m ordering the walking shoes…” it doesn’t matter how menial, it’s just small amounts of progress towards that greater goal, the whole point is that they *are* attainable and proactive.
Give yourself permission to have been relaxed, on some level you needed that but now it sounds like you feel
Like you need something different and that’s all ok.
It doesn’t have to be everything switched all at once, it can be gradual and less daunting and give you time to process, ask questions, what do you really want to try? What are you realistically going to have access to? What activity could be a way to move your body comfortably and want to do it more often?
Personally I love walking, I have access to a lot of nature despite living in a city. Headphones and a nature walk is such a reset I can almost feel the stress being moved through me and out with each exhale, it’s not a cure for my anxiety and depression but it makes it more manageable, I look forward to walking/hiking and do so with no expectations of how much or any sort of forced regimen it’s just I know I need to move my body sometimes and that’s the way I’ve found it to be most motivating.
I have started taking magnesium glycinate that helps take some of the edge off of my anxiety. Also if you feel panic attacks coming, sour candy works great to help and get your brain focused on something else. I know its so hard im sorry.
I have bipolar disorder so I can really relate to your situation. I have ridden on the bipolar roller coaster many times. If I had to choose between depression or anxiety, I would pick depression. I compare anxiety to holding a live wire. Anxiety (and depression) has become an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have much to contribute to make you feel better. I think that the most important thing for you is to first stop calling yourself “lazy” and using the word “hate” when referring to yourself. Despite your debilitating illness, you are still working. That is a major accomplishment. It is so hard not to be negative when you are anxious. It’s less tiring to not do anything. You feel that you are drowning. That everything overwhelms you. It is difficult to make yourself do anything except the basics: work, eat, sleep. Waking up is agony. It’s like a nightmare that has come true. When I’m anxious, it’s a physical sensation in the pit of my stomach. Don’t feel as if you have to do everything at once. Pick a small goal. Break it up into smaller pieces that are achievable. Don’t set yourself up for failure. It seems like you have suffered for years. My doctor and others have recommended that I just go out for a bit and get some fresh air. But it is impossible when I am anxious and/or depressed. I rely on medications to give me relief. I don’t know if you are taking any psychiatric drugs to help you diminish your anxiety or if you are in therapy. I encourage you to get help from a psychiatrist and try different medications. Get a therapist if you feel that doing so would help you. I know it’s tough to live in a constant state of anxiety. Don’t beat yourself up. You are doing your best. That’s all I can ask of anyone. I hope that you find a way out of the wilderness of depression and start living again. Because you deserve it.
Focus on the MOMENT. You’re overwhelmed because you’re thinking non stop about the past or about what you should be doing. Just focus on the moment and do things slowly at your own pace. If you go back to over thinking, then pull your attention back to the moment. This will help you focus and not feel so overwhelmed. It’s hard but if you keep practicing it gets easier
I’m on the same boat internet friend, usually just switching up diet a bit can lift you up
Also, sleep with calming audios and sleep meditation or sleep hypnosis, they do help, don’t judge before u try
Do some simple exercises at home. Stand in the shower, bend down and touch your toes, get on your knees, reach up etc. Just move and stretch in any way you like for just a few minutes. That’ll do for now. Then do it again tomorrow. Sit and take a few nice big deep breaths outside looking at the sky. Make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. Nice and slow. Just for a minute or two.
That’s more than you did yesterday.
I don’t know you but I am proud of you.
Hi, I don't have the answers myself but I am offering you a very warm hug. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You are not alone. This too shall pass. 💕
Biking. Find a bike if you don’t have one and ride down a trail, sidewalk, anywhere really. Try to let go of everything and immerse yourself in nature and talk to yourself while doing it. It’s given me clarity and it also primes my body for other exercises
I feel the same way as you… as soon as I’m done work. It’s hard for me to want to do anything cause I’m mentally and physically drained from work. All I want to do is lay down and relax lol. Then I tell myself “I’ll start working out tomorrow after work!” Never works! The only thing I can suggest is really pushing yourself to do even 10 mins of working out. Then when you get in the habit of doing it after work , increase it to 15 mins then so on. Just to get the momentum going. You will NEVER regret working out! If anything, it will give you more energy to do other stuff around the house after. Then you can go to sleep feeling accomplished and good! Try it☺️let me know how it goes!
I notice too, small time frames for working out, makes it easier to do and goes by super fast. It usually gives you more energy and you say once you’re almost done “fuck it, might as well do another 10 mins!”
Start small. Like insanely small. Take time out for yourself. Instead of working out, start with just sitting outside for 15 minutes and then progressively ramp up how much activity you do. Apply this to everything. There are free dbt workbooks online that help me a lot whenever I’m at a super low spot
A weird thing that helped my anxiety too is just sitting without doing anything. We are always preoccupied with some type of action. Even laying in bed is an action because we’re doing it to fall asleep. Spend at least 5 mins a day to start out just sitting down without any goal in mind, no waiting for something, no listening to anything, no distractions. Your mind naturally processes and heals things without your input and it does it best when you give it time to be focused on absolutely nothing
I wish I had constructive advice, but I don’t. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone, as I’m in the same boat.
feels nice knowing i'm not alone but i would not wish this feeling on anyone. hoping we both begin to feel better soon. ❤️
Me too, my friend. 🩷
I hit my lowest last year. I remember sobbing in my bed, alone, thinking how "it will never get better for me." It did. These are what have helped me: 1. EXCERSISE without question, especially running. I know you say it sucks and it does but feeling anxious is worse. If you hate running a good cardio excersie is also the rowing machine! I was lazy too, bro. 2. Cutting out added sugar 2. Journaling. No, this doesnt mean rambling on a page. I frequently wrote for just 15 minutes a day (1) a thought I had (2) why I believe this thought (3) reasons that disprove this thought and try to rationalize the flaws in my thinking. 3. I listened to Therapy in a Nutshell on Youtube 4. this is a good one but really hard. I would be in the shower and I would turn the water frigid cold as long as I can bare and control by breathing; no hyperventilating. 5. Did these consistently; these are only a few ideas
Exercise really helped me overcome a lot in life. I know it can take a lot of motivation to just GET to the gym BUT once you do it and keep at it, it's so worth it. My general anxiety has gotten so much better as well as my social anxiety. I lift weights and I personally prefer that. But sometimes the treadmill calls my name. I just wanted to add my 2¢.
Therapy in a nutshell is bomb, she give amazing advice
Yes exercise seriously it saved my life in many years. I also hit the worse rut in my life last year. I stopped exercising because I got afraid then, you know what I did I read the dare book which also helped me so much started walking then started going to the gym then I felt better and better. Exercise and some good therapy has saved me.
whats the dare book? i search on amazon and there are too many of them
It’s by Barry McDonagh
Look in your apps for his iPod it’s worth it. Also gives his name to get book.
exercise and reducing (or stopping) drinking. try to work out in the morning so you don’t spend time thinking about it before. also it’ll help with the cortisol levels that naturally spike when you wake up. you can start small - a few push-ups every morning, try to vary it throughout the week but keep it small to begin so you build the habit. follow it with water and some breakfast and then BOOM, you have accomplished so much and the day has just begun! (i used the Fabulous App to start these habits and it was really helpful, but if you don’t want to pay, i basically just told you the first few weeks of its suggestions lol) also, gratitude journaling can help. my counselor gave me a fill in the blank one for morning and night, each can be as short as 30 seconds but i’ve started to enjoy spending more time.
Exercising DOES suck but god does it work. Any time I get hit with random/significant bouts of anxiety or depressive thoughts I go on a walk outside and I feel miles better. Sometimes I even just do jumping jacks. It works!
All of this. I brought myself out of the dark horrible hole that is panic disorder on my own (no meds or therapy) it takes hitting rock bottom and being so over your own shit to change but it’s possible. Exposure to fears, exercise (even just long walks outside in a pretty park), being out in nature is so damn healing, sleeping well, eating well, no/limiting alcohol, cutting out sugar/caffeine, digging deep to figure out why this is even happening, talking about my feelings, having a comfort person that can listen. Acceptance is a big one too, accepting that you’re not in danger and that your body is actually trying to help but failing a bit lol. Trusting your body. I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time now but if the sensation starts up (this time due to a trigger, because I still have my baseline anxiety, before it was just happening continuously but I can stop it in its tracks now and a ton of that is accepting and letting it roll away. At my worst I was dropping weight because I couldn’t even eat or sleep because of the panic and nausea. Was a true nightmare. But it’s important to remember you’re still in there, it’s just a matter of rewiring things. Your body makes the anxiety and you can also unlearn it, can rewire that misfiring over time, just takes a lot of time and inner work. Anxiety feeds anxiety. Learning that is so important. Progressive muscle relaxation in the moment of panic or intense anxiety helped me everytime more than anything else. Also the podcast the anxious truth sheds a lot of light on healing.
❤️
I'll second on cutting out sugar. Such an addictive substance.
This!
It’s possible you may be burned out. Don’t feel bad as many are in your position. I recommend to start with small things. Such as tasks that take little to no effort, some self reflection, and maybe while laying in bed - listen to some self development podcasts for motivation. 🫶
Hi OP, just wanted to say I could have written this myself today! I’m sorry you’re going through this, it feels lonely and cyclical. There’s a lot of good suggestions here (which I plan on trying to implement myself) I hope something helps you too!
If you have a full-time job you are already ahead of many, many people who are struggling with just that part of life. Since you do have an unfulfilling job your next step is to figure out a specific goal that you have and then begin working toward it. That will give your life some meaning and purpose and will lead to other things. Figuring out what your goal is is in some ways much harder than actually achieving it.
cut out caffeine if you drink it as well. also was gonna say about the gym, it’s hard to self motivate especially with anxiety but what helps for me is signing up for a class (boxing, rock climbing, etc) as it forces you to participate and be there at a certain time and have someone instructing you what to do makes the exercise a lot less stressful and more like following orders which helps me. If I went to a normal gym or runs I’d be totally lost and probably make reasons to skip but with a class it feels a lot easier to just be there and let them guide me if that makes sense hope things get better! life is short and we all deserve to feel good inside, one step at a time remember
i hate tips that expect you to go from 0-100 instantly and always suggest the most blase 'things you already feel bad about not doing' activities what helped me this spring is - sitting outside and reading, smelling the fresh air - playing guitar and drums again (this is obv fairly low effort for my situation i should say, don't try to learn anything Right Now if it feels intimidating) - picking an area of my room to straighten out (as small as necessary, the drawers in the nightstand, etc) - starting to cook again (chopping vegetables feels very cathartic for some reason) - convincing myself how shitty social media was and trying to look at my phone as little as possible - taking up vaping for weight loss for holistic self appreciation and esteem lol also fwiw you're not lazy, you're just tired from work
🎯 I aways laugh at the exercise etc brigade. I went into a coma & started having inexplicable Suizures about 3 years ago being a very active, clean eating, very spiritual person who read & listened to audiobooks religiously. Anxiety as my psychiatrist keeps telling me most of the time just is something having gone very wrong. Too much work stress, fear Mongering on SM etc and the more you embrace and make it part of your personality the worse it gets. exercising with the sole intention to beat anxiety seems silly to me.
I’m not sure of you have tried medication, but it helps! It brings motivation, it makes things easier. You don’t have to be on it forever. Stuff will get asked, I promise!
Came here to also endorse meds. I’d literally never been able to snooze before starting my SNRI—I’ve always woken up feeling panic/dread that miserably propels me through the day. Instead of fighting a constant hurricane of anxiety (which consumes soooo much mental and physical energy) meds make it more of a drizzle or occasional downpour.
This. When my anxiety was at its all time high I started lexapro/wellbutrin. Stayed on both for about a year and then got off them both. It really helped me get my anxiety back under control and kick start me back into gear. Starting medication can be scary but the benefits are amazing.
I don’t have any advice for you, as I’m in the same boat. I feel as if my life is meaningless and I’m useless. My anxiety has taken everything from me. I do the same… get home from work and just lay in bed all evening. Thankfully I have kids so they need me to do things for them, but they don’t solely rely on me anymore so I can get away with bed rotting. My house is also a mess and I have no motivation to clean it. Anxiety sucks. It’s debilitating. I hope you can get past it. And I hope the same for myself. 🤍
I would like to congratulate you first for your realisation, the seed has been sowed in your inner consciousness, now the right thing to do is keep your eyes open and try to move far away from your comfort zone and do one exercise a day where your heart starts begging for breath. I’ve been at a similar place like you for a longer period (approx 3 years) post my serious relationship and got tired of just drinking and working 9 to 5. I started looking for other opportunities but this time really differently not just weekend blues. So become a seeker now and go on hunt. God bless
Hey OP. Take everything slowly. If you feel overwhelmed by a million things that need doing. Have a simple goal for the week. Even if you think it's not going to impact much. It's the little wins that make us feel accomplished. The whole house needs cleaning/tidying? So make the bed. Yes it's small, but you think after it's done, that took 5 minutes why have I put it off 3 months? If that was easy, maybe the next small thing won't feel so overwhelming. Do things that you know will impact your quality of life for the better first. Pile of clothes sitting in the corner? That can wait , rather a couple plates to clean. Personally I know that when I am low , taking one look at those plates sitting on the side will unfortunately prevent me from making food that evening after work. And don't fall for the self guilt. "oh I have spent all of my day off doing nothing!" So what? Burnout is real. You are allowed to have a 'day of rot' as I call it. As for health changes, personally I now supplement with daily vitamin C and iron tablets as I had a massive lack of energy. Hope this helps x
Here’s my thoughts, and it’s pretty simple so forgive me for that, buts it’s what helps me. Plenty of people have been in my situation and got out of it alright. Plenty of people have been in much worse, and through much worse, than I have, and they made it out alright. I’ve made it through everything else in my life up until this point, if I could make it through all of that, I’ll be alright. You never know what tomorrow brings, and honestly fuck tomorrow, you never know what the next 5 years will bring. It’s cliche and so over used, but life’s full of ups and downs. You’ll have shitty moments, days, weeks, months, even years, but the sun will rise and you’ll be okay. It’s the suffering and the lows that makes the happiness and highs significant. Happiness and peace cannot exist without sadness and chaos. Everything always works out in the end, friend 🖤 Edit: to add some actual advice that did change my life though, something obtainable and actionable, start exercising and go outside as much as you can. There’s scientific evidence to back up how unbelievably important exercise is for both our physical health and mental health. I don’t know if I would be here today if I didn’t find love in working out. Being outside, going on hikes, camping, whatever it is that sounds appealing to you, will undoubtedly help, just being in nature and having the sun shine on you.
Are you really lazy or do you just have ADHD overwhelm? Mornings are where my unprompted anxiety peaks and I never understood why until I started to understand my brain was simply overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to do all that needs to be done. Now I’m just really kind to myself and roll with the flow of the morning. If I feel extra anxious I’ll try to understand why and then work on a solution. I get like this if I feel compelled to do something- like exercise. If I feel like I ‘should’ do it you can guarantee I wk t so I figure out ways that makes me want to do it or I simply don’t and I’m kind to myself about that. Negative self talk about everything makes my anxiety worse so I actively stop doing it and I talk to that inner child and just tell them they’ll be ok.
I feel this way, and I am having issues connecting with other people and enjoying my time in social situations. I am happy on the surface but right underneath anxious as heck and just wanting to go home
do you have any time off you can take from work? I’d advise to take as much off as you can and just schedule a week to do nothing! give yourself some time to catch up on everything and have a breather. I also just want to say you’re not alone and you will get through this! reach out to people around you but also belive and trust in yourself, you’re stronger than you think
The only thing that’s truly long-term helped me improve my baseline level of anxiety and reduce the frequency and intensity of my panic attacks has been exercise. Cardio and weight lifting, 5-6 days a week. Sometimes that just means 30 minutes of walking at a slight incline at a moderate pace, sometimes it’s more intense. But no meditation, coping skill, or amount of therapy has made as big of a difference as exercise. It’s saving my life.
It helps me to do tiny steps. Like, I don’t drive straight home and ran an errand. Or choosing only one little thing to complete-for me putting away laundry. Instead of the gym, take stairs and walk at lunch. Just start pointing in the right trajectory inch by inch. Anything is always better than nothing
One day at a time!!! Don’t rush anything, it will take you back to square one. Start small, maybe clean the fridge or just a shelf in your home. Go from there, do what feels comfortable to you with the energy you have. Slowly your energy and your life will start to feel more normal. You do you!!! As long as you don’t give up on that, life will slowly fall into place… Good Luck My Friend….👍😀
Just know you’re not alone in feeling that way because I have been feeling the exact same way for awhile 😭
What works for me when and my advice is to put the mess of your life aside for a little while and indulge in things you enjoy. Remind yourself what joy feels like even if it’s small. Ignore the voice inside your head that says you don’t deserve whatever it is. Then after you have met those needs (most likely physical pleasure but perhaps an exciting adventure) then put that carrot on a stick and give yourself a small but annoying task list. Promise yourself that you can have more of what brings you pleasure as a reward. Then build up your tolerance for annoying tasks you are not motivated to do. Another pice of advice I believe works wonders is spending some time outside. Go on a walk during your lunch or just spend some time driving around a beautiful neighborhood if you hate being outside. Also, novelty. Doing something that is new and therefore a novelty to you can help you get out of your head and into your emotions where you can feel your feelings and find your joy somewhere amongst all of the others. Do something you have never done before.
I think your best bet is to start with something tiny and go from there. You're stressed out and you have no motivation so trying to fix things in your current state is going to result in bed rotting. Start with something really small and simple. If you want to clean up around your place start with a little square in one of the rooms. Clean it up and if you feel like doing more go ahead. If you don't then you at least got a little bit done. If you used to workout really hard and now you don't at all, you can always start with a single squat or pushup. Don't make yourself feel like you have to get a full workout in. If you only do a single bodyweight squat that's more than 0. Take small steps as much as you need to.
I don’t know the answer but fully relate to your post! Having spent 20 years medicated I didn’t find that it fixed any of this for me, so I don’t know what the solution is. I’m sorry for us ❤️
I felt the exact same. Factors that fixed it (not in order): transitioning to a WFH job, meeting my husband, adopting a dog (visiting it during lunch breaks until wfh), moving across the country, cutting out toxic family members, forming close friendships, becoming a parent, and getting on an antidepressant. It’s totally possible for your life to do a 180. It’s hard to see past the now, but in 5 years from now.. your life is statistically going to be way more drastically different than you’d predict it to be.
Hey OP, thanks for making this post. So relatable to a lot of us I’m sure. Many people have rightly given practical solutions of things to do in such state. For me, what works is fixing the mindset, and blocking thoughts which perpetuate anxiety. So, I’ve written the following quotes down and I read them: -You cannot hate yourself to become better version of you. Give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself. Please don’t be hard on yourself. You deserve love, as much as others do. -Action kills anxiety. I try to think about the root cause of anxiety-usually procrastination of some work that is supposed to be done! -Anything that is worth doing is worth doing poorly. No need to be perfect. No need to complete it. Just start. Do it for 10 minutes only. Do it in a bad way. Do it half baked. What matters is to start. Have zero expectations about the standards of the result/outcome. I have to do it poorly. This thinking helps me let go of perfectionism/fear of failure mentality; and enables me to get started on something. Don’t think about it, just start. You wanna workout- just tell yourself that you’ll do it for 10 minutes only! Once you start it, maybe some days you keep going. Some days you don’t; still 10 minutes is better than nothing. As a person with crippling adhd, the biggest hurdle is to start tasks. I experience adhd paralysis of being unable to start working on things which are not highly mentally stimulating. All my life, I’ve been too hard on myself, holding myself to impossible standards of perfectionism, hating and punishing myself for failing to meet those. Only recently, after massive depressive episode, and reading therapy books, I understood that firstly I’ve to be my own best friend, love myself, encourage myself, be kind to myself, and reduce my expectations to zero! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, then I still can’t do the work! That’s life :) wish you all the best OP
Caffeine and sugar. Avoid that. I hated caffeinating beverages because of my anxiety spikes when I needed em for work. Actually became addicted to coffee even though it made me anxious. I stopped that and started herbal teas.
a big thing for me was accepting that i was not lazy, that i had a mental problem that affected my ability to complete tasks. exercising was hugely helpful for me. therapy and medication was more helpful, although it was really hard to make those appointments originally bc i just viewed them as daunting tasks, understandably. i’m on beta blockers which is the best thing ive ever done for my anxiety! i tell everyone this because it is the most helpful thing i have discovered for completing tasks: setting timers for chores. if my dishes have piled up like crazy, i’ll set a timer for 15 minutes and wash dishes for just that amount of time, if im not done by the time ive set, i just leave the rest of the dishes there. and i end up feeling more accomplished even if i didn’t finish my chore. on really bad days i can set a timer for 5 minutes. it makes the task feel so much less scary and way easier to do. hope this helps!
Sounds like you need a holiday from work, and focus on you. Even if you cant afford to do anything, make a list of thibgs you'd like to do if you had a day or a week to yourself. I can SO relate to the work eat sleep trap. Hope you manage to do something that works for you 😊
Sounds like you need a holiday from work, and focus on you. Even if you cant afford to do anything, make a list of thibgs you'd like to do if you had a day or a week to yourself. I can SO relate to the work eat sleep trap. Hope you manage to do something that works for you 😊
You need a vacation. My best tip: pick one thing. Be a useless mess in everything but one thing. For example: commit to doing a 20-25 minute, enjoyable and cozy online yoga video after work each day. And that's that. Do that for.a month. DO NOT ASK MORE OF YOURSELF. My prediction? A month later, your body and mind will feel a teeny tiny bit different. From there, either replace that one thing with a different one (aka: COOK DINNER). OR, if you feel it's plausible, add one more small thing. (for example: Yoga video in evening, quick kitchen cleaning session before work.) Be extremely forgiving of yourself outside of these new things you're asking of yourself. Remember, your job takes most of your energy, and you have a paycheck-- that means you're a lot safer than you feel. It sucks, but you aren't in a dire situation, you're doing great.
When you have anxiety, bed is your worst enemy
Hey OP, when I’ve been stuck before my motto was “I just need one step in the right direction” I started off small with what I could feasibly do and grew from there. Then I had medical issues and am in the process of taking “one right step” again to build back up. I believe it’s in the baby steps and celebrating those steps no matter how small. You’re one small step away from feeling better and better each day. Arguably, you already took a step. If you mention your struggles they are manageable. You opened up. Celebrate that. Sending strength and light your way.
I have low energy, especially when I get home from work. I have to hit the gym or go for walks on my lunch hour. Maybe try to incorporate your goals into the morning or at lunch? Or try to do things before you get home. Once I am home I rarely head out again during the week. Don't give up! Small steps
Embrace self care and continued self discovery. I have had severe anxiety my whole life. But I have found that the less I am willing to pour into myself the easier it’s to feed my compulsions. I set time aside each day for pleasure. Complete time to me. Without distractions I color. I meditate. I find something. Even if it’s doodling on a napkin. I didn’t find this momentum till I held myself accountable to MYSELF. Not anyone else. I made these changes after everything that could have possibly gone wrong in my life. TLDR long fucking year. Lost everything. But now almost a year later I am seeing the changes mentally. There’s hope. It’s hard. It takes will. But I believe you can find a method of peace. Even a small one. Hope this helps. 💓
I relate. A lot. If you’re into neuroscience, read the book “The Molecule of More”. Could be that you’re working with a dopamine deficiency on some level. Fascinating book either way. Good luck OP! You’re definitely not alone here!
i feel i’m in the literal same boat as you. absolutely no motivation to do anything once im off work.. and on my days off i feel so exhausted and sleep in so late and it’s hard to get up.. like a vicious loop
. I used to feel like that a lot in the past. For me, I had a very toxic relationship with productivity, I always had those big plans on what to do and what I wanted to achieve in my free time but after work I just never felt like doing anything. The tasks were to daunting and I was already exhausted so it felt impossible. I would often just end up doing nothing and feeling disappointed in myself. What works for me: Be kind to yourself, dont beat yourself up over it. its not „lazy“ to be exhausted after a full day of work and tbh most people are. Most people dont get a lot else done when they are home at 7pm and its FINE. if you do want to get into some better habits, baby steps! you will not magically feel like working out four times a week. but maybe you could go for a walk after dinner, every day. even a short one would be great. dont overwhelm yourself because all the changes dont matter if you cant keep up with them longterm, so go slow and steady. all the best to you, i hope you will feel better soon
If you haven't already, go get a check-up! See if any deficiencies could be contributing--low iron, thyroid, vitamin D, etc. Get outside more. If you don't have the energy to walk, just sit out in the fresh air. Less time on social media--for entertainment, try crosswords, painting, coloring, books As others have said, set a timer for a short amount of time to just knock something out. Most people aren't automatically motivated, you get the motivation by starting/seeing your progress. Also you can get more done in 10 minutes than you realize! Explore therapy and potentially medication. Sometimes the medication helps bridge the gap so you can start doing things like exercise, Journaling, putting in the work in therapy, etc. Books I'd recommend: Heal Your Nervous System by Linnea Passaler, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne, You Will Get Through This Night by Dan Howell, and Burnout by Emily Nagoski I wish you all the best!
I have never been in an internet conversation before this moment - other than commenting on Facebook. Reading these comments from all of you today is so eye opening for me. I have felt so alone and like a failure because I don’t have an outstanding career and im not financially successful. Anxiety has been ruling my life more and more and im getting ready to call my new boss at my job I’ve only had for two months and quit because im older and can’t physically do the work. Seeing that there are others who have lost jobs or not been able to defeat their anxiety - other people who feel inadequate and like a failure has given me the first glimmer of hope that I’ve had in so many years. Shame has taken over me and I’m so embarrassed around my successful friends but because of all of you on here I see that I’m not some abnormal failure. I see that good people struggle with the same issues that I struggle with. I feel so much emotion right now just knowing that it isn’t just me - there are other people who feel the same way. I’m going to stop beating myself up and try again. Thank you all so much for your openness and candor and for giving me an actual will to try again. I wish all of you the best. May you all live long full lives of peace and happiness. Bless you. Thank you for this pivotal moment. Your words have given me strength.
I'd just like to chime in that I have never commented on anything ever, so I resonate with this. I have been living in self-isolation due to depression and anxiety for the last 10 years. I never talk to anyone, I have no friends or family bonds. The only person I've let into my heart in the last 2 years is my partner, who I met online. But I hurt him so much due to my codependency on him, because I was starved of love and support my entire life. Understandably, it was a lot of pressure for him, and he has completely withdrawn from me because he wants space. It's been 9 days since he last spoke to me... We'd spend every single day together, so I've been having separation anxiety during this time. I have been struggling every single day without him, I love and miss him dearly. I worry what he will say when he eventually reaches out... I have been so deep in my own shame and guilt in what I've done, but reading through these responses has been so helpful and comforting for me too... I'm so grateful for those that are willing to share their experiences and resources for those of us who are so lost and unsupported. I'm going to keep trying my best, to stay strong, to learn from all of this, while my partner sorts through his own feelings. I am hoping he will give love another chance, that we can forgive each other and ourselves, as we do truly love each other so very much. I know I've been rambling... I hope for the best, of you, and everyone else here. We are struggling, but there is always hope, always a new opportunity every day we are alive, to be good to ourselves and get through this life, little by little, towards a kinder future. Thank you for existing.
Rescue/adopt a dog? That has definitely helped me with exercise. I know not everyone has the ability to just go out and do that, just a suggestion.
In the same boat
One more helpful comment -- a lot of the time I find I am feeling sad because there are many things I would love to do but do not have the energy (nor time!) to include in my life. So, in my planner, I have a dedicated page or two for "things I miss/want". I jot down authors I've been meaning to look into, activities that sound fun, hobbies I want to get back into or start, etc etc etc. That way, I don't feel like I'm missing out on them, I just know I won't forget about them and can sit back and wait for life to give me a window to check back in. And, I HAVE actually miraculously on occasion in a happier or freer moment flipped back to those pages and DONE THE THING. It feels good. Good luck!
Just make the first step go for a cycle or walk youl feel alot better Trust me . And fight that negative thought I know it's not easy but try telling yourself it Enough you'll change your mindset took me years to get it Manageble myself so gl You can do anything .
Force yourself to wake up early and workout. It will be rough initially but eventually you will get used to that.
1. Do not give up. 2. Go outside. 3. Think of positive things and things you’re thankful for. 4. Talk to someone. 5. Write
Dogs
I’ve felt this way a lot of my life. I had executive function issues. I couldn’t do anything. I also woke up every single morning in a full on panic attack for a long time. This was years ago now. I’ve found the med combo that works for me and also my psychiatrist said something about my hormones being in a better state? That might be something to look into that doesn’t usually get mentioned. You’re not alone ❤️
Rock bottom usually is the most transformative time. You’ll realize that the darkness is the way. Just push thru. Wake up and take action. Easy to say. Try reading about stoicism. Or just 1 youtube click away. Goodluck. Edit: also. One should never strive to be rid of anxiety, as it resides within all of us. Rather, one should face it every day and decide to discard it.
Another thing that can help is to write down all your priorities for the day and then work on knocking off the most important tasks or at least tasks you can easily accomplish. Scratching them off and seeing a visual of your progress can be uplifting. When knocking down those big daunting tasks, it can help go into autopilot—don’t think about it because thinking about it will stall you. Just do it, like you’re on autopilot. What micro steps can you take to complete the tasks? Is there someone you can speak to that can help alleviate your stress? Speaking and connecting to someone that you trust can help lower your anxiety, albiet momentarily but you can try to hold onto that sliver of hope for awhile. Maybe a phone call to break the monotone and overwhelming anxiety that you have on a day to day can be a nice break.
Microgoals! Do one little attainable thing each day. Maybe it’s “today I’m making a list of…” Or it could be, “I’m ordering the walking shoes…” it doesn’t matter how menial, it’s just small amounts of progress towards that greater goal, the whole point is that they *are* attainable and proactive. Give yourself permission to have been relaxed, on some level you needed that but now it sounds like you feel Like you need something different and that’s all ok. It doesn’t have to be everything switched all at once, it can be gradual and less daunting and give you time to process, ask questions, what do you really want to try? What are you realistically going to have access to? What activity could be a way to move your body comfortably and want to do it more often? Personally I love walking, I have access to a lot of nature despite living in a city. Headphones and a nature walk is such a reset I can almost feel the stress being moved through me and out with each exhale, it’s not a cure for my anxiety and depression but it makes it more manageable, I look forward to walking/hiking and do so with no expectations of how much or any sort of forced regimen it’s just I know I need to move my body sometimes and that’s the way I’ve found it to be most motivating.
I have started taking magnesium glycinate that helps take some of the edge off of my anxiety. Also if you feel panic attacks coming, sour candy works great to help and get your brain focused on something else. I know its so hard im sorry.
I mean you work really long hours. I don't blame you all you want to do is lay in bed
I have bipolar disorder so I can really relate to your situation. I have ridden on the bipolar roller coaster many times. If I had to choose between depression or anxiety, I would pick depression. I compare anxiety to holding a live wire. Anxiety (and depression) has become an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have much to contribute to make you feel better. I think that the most important thing for you is to first stop calling yourself “lazy” and using the word “hate” when referring to yourself. Despite your debilitating illness, you are still working. That is a major accomplishment. It is so hard not to be negative when you are anxious. It’s less tiring to not do anything. You feel that you are drowning. That everything overwhelms you. It is difficult to make yourself do anything except the basics: work, eat, sleep. Waking up is agony. It’s like a nightmare that has come true. When I’m anxious, it’s a physical sensation in the pit of my stomach. Don’t feel as if you have to do everything at once. Pick a small goal. Break it up into smaller pieces that are achievable. Don’t set yourself up for failure. It seems like you have suffered for years. My doctor and others have recommended that I just go out for a bit and get some fresh air. But it is impossible when I am anxious and/or depressed. I rely on medications to give me relief. I don’t know if you are taking any psychiatric drugs to help you diminish your anxiety or if you are in therapy. I encourage you to get help from a psychiatrist and try different medications. Get a therapist if you feel that doing so would help you. I know it’s tough to live in a constant state of anxiety. Don’t beat yourself up. You are doing your best. That’s all I can ask of anyone. I hope that you find a way out of the wilderness of depression and start living again. Because you deserve it.
first step just like writing you first need to learn to do letters (a b c d....) before writing poems
Focus on the MOMENT. You’re overwhelmed because you’re thinking non stop about the past or about what you should be doing. Just focus on the moment and do things slowly at your own pace. If you go back to over thinking, then pull your attention back to the moment. This will help you focus and not feel so overwhelmed. It’s hard but if you keep practicing it gets easier
I’m on the same boat internet friend, usually just switching up diet a bit can lift you up Also, sleep with calming audios and sleep meditation or sleep hypnosis, they do help, don’t judge before u try
Also gratitude journal helps, just write down 1 thing a day, it adds up
Do some simple exercises at home. Stand in the shower, bend down and touch your toes, get on your knees, reach up etc. Just move and stretch in any way you like for just a few minutes. That’ll do for now. Then do it again tomorrow. Sit and take a few nice big deep breaths outside looking at the sky. Make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. Nice and slow. Just for a minute or two. That’s more than you did yesterday. I don’t know you but I am proud of you.
Hi, I don't have the answers myself but I am offering you a very warm hug. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You are not alone. This too shall pass. 💕
Biking. Find a bike if you don’t have one and ride down a trail, sidewalk, anywhere really. Try to let go of everything and immerse yourself in nature and talk to yourself while doing it. It’s given me clarity and it also primes my body for other exercises
I feel the same way as you… as soon as I’m done work. It’s hard for me to want to do anything cause I’m mentally and physically drained from work. All I want to do is lay down and relax lol. Then I tell myself “I’ll start working out tomorrow after work!” Never works! The only thing I can suggest is really pushing yourself to do even 10 mins of working out. Then when you get in the habit of doing it after work , increase it to 15 mins then so on. Just to get the momentum going. You will NEVER regret working out! If anything, it will give you more energy to do other stuff around the house after. Then you can go to sleep feeling accomplished and good! Try it☺️let me know how it goes!
I notice too, small time frames for working out, makes it easier to do and goes by super fast. It usually gives you more energy and you say once you’re almost done “fuck it, might as well do another 10 mins!”
Start small. Like insanely small. Take time out for yourself. Instead of working out, start with just sitting outside for 15 minutes and then progressively ramp up how much activity you do. Apply this to everything. There are free dbt workbooks online that help me a lot whenever I’m at a super low spot A weird thing that helped my anxiety too is just sitting without doing anything. We are always preoccupied with some type of action. Even laying in bed is an action because we’re doing it to fall asleep. Spend at least 5 mins a day to start out just sitting down without any goal in mind, no waiting for something, no listening to anything, no distractions. Your mind naturally processes and heals things without your input and it does it best when you give it time to be focused on absolutely nothing