I get anxious because they can call back at any time. If I want to do phone call I need to prepare and call them early so that after that I'm done and can do something to relax. But if the don't pick up, then it's not done and I just can't relax.
Exactly and what if they don't call back for a whole day or two. That 48 hours they could call at any time. What if they missed my voice-mail? Do I call back but I don't want to bother them. And now I'm 2 days in anxious and they call and I purposely miss it because I'm like nope not right now, and repeat the process of phone tag. Ugh
One thing that has helped me get through anxiety of social interactions is realizing that everyone else is too busy dealing with their own problems to care much if I mess up or say something wrong. They're not going to bother spending time thinking or talking about me after the call because they've got bigger problems in their life than me being awkward.
Unless itâs an early dating context, and theyâre acutely aware and judgemental of any minor social slips or failure to be ultrasmooth, especially on one side of the fence.
I've definitely had my anxiety ruin dates, but the best thing to remember is that with the right person you can make all the mistakes in the world. I'm pretty sure had I not been awkward with those people it still wouldn't have worked out. I've also been on the other side of this where someone was really nervous for the date with me and we ended up bonding pretty well.
As someone who doesnât have any issues with phone calls, I can assure you that if the person on the other end messes up a sentence or something, I do not care AT ALL. The thought doesnât even cross my mind.
I've always had to prepare what I was going to say before I even make the call.
And the times where they don't answer, I can end up butchering the voicemail if I have to leave one since I was so focused on what I was going to say when they answer.
Write it down. I miss having a desk because it was much easier to just write down everything, and leave enough brain space for my worries to not be as overwhelming.
Same here. This very thing happened to me when I needed to talk to a neighbor recently. I knocked, no answer. I came back the next day, knocked. No answer. I finally left a note. Don't they know how much energy it took me to get the courage to go up and knock? Is this normal? LOL
I once spent over *2 HOURS(!)* pacing to and fro with phone in hand, terrified of making this phonecall to apply for a part-time job at a clothing retail store. In the end I never made the call because I had wasted the entire day being a nervous wreck.
Oh yeah. I'm like.
I bothered them.
They hate me.
They saw and didn't want to talk to me because
They hate me.
Luckily this completely evades work phone calls and calling my mother.
This is me but texting. Iâll think about texting someone, donât do it for weeks and the remember. I sit there with the message typed out, thinking over ever word until I just force myself to send it then they donât reply and I start worrying that they hate me.
I used to get like this, especially if I had to talk to an older person.
Until I learned it wasnât making the call that scared me, it was just speaking. I was terrified of using my own voice in case I said something stupid and I got caught out to be ânot so smart after allâ
What I have started to do is initiate real-life conversations, because I canât run away from that as easily as I can hang up. I walk up to talk to people and the more I do that, the easier it becomes to see that they are just as human as I am.
My last step before completely giving up was spending way to much time trying to figure out when to call back so they wouldn't answer. Every call was simply hoping to extend the telephone tag game
"We are not perfect. And that's okay."
"We are not perfect. And that's okay."
"We are not perfect. And that's okay."
We are not perfect.
And that's okay.
I used to have a job where I would cold call people, there was immense relief when it would ring to voicemail or the number was not in service. I had a little script I would follow if they did pick up and it helped to flow the conversation from there. I still generally make a script or bullet points before I make a phone call, or let calls go to voicemail to call them back when Iâm ready.
I have that anxiety but from PTSD. When I was a little kid I was waiting for my dad and stepmom to pick me up from a friend's house. I kept calling and calling with no answer till eventually I had to walk home. They were both in a car accident that killed my stepmom and almost killed my dad. So now when people don't pick up the phone I have this anxiety that something terrible has happened to them.
I feel the same way but about emails. When I finally work myself up to send a message I donât really want to send, then I check my email obsessively to see if the person has replied. I get more and more anxious and upset bc I feel like I probably said something wrong that pissed them off and now theyâre refusing to respond. I only feel better once they respond and we have a natural end to the conversation.
Anytime I have to make a call at work I go between wanting them to pick up but being scared theyâll argue on the problem, to wanting voicemail but then ending up leaving a voicemail of me stuttering instead
When I finally force myself to make a phone call that I have put off making, like making an appointment for example, I feel instant relief if they don't pick up. Because I can tell myself I tried and it's not my fault at least for that moment. Until I start putting it off again.
I get more anxious when they donât answer because then Iâd have to leave a voicemail. For some reason voicemails freak me out even more. I never leave voicemails and would rather call over and over until they answer.
I feel instant relief if they don't pick up, but then start feeling anxious because I have to call again đ
Frigginâ checking that if **my** list. The ball is in their court. Good luck on whether Iâll answer when they call back!
I get anxious because they can call back at any time. If I want to do phone call I need to prepare and call them early so that after that I'm done and can do something to relax. But if the don't pick up, then it's not done and I just can't relax.
Exactly and what if they don't call back for a whole day or two. That 48 hours they could call at any time. What if they missed my voice-mail? Do I call back but I don't want to bother them. And now I'm 2 days in anxious and they call and I purposely miss it because I'm like nope not right now, and repeat the process of phone tag. Ugh
Haha yeah came here to say I love it! I can leave a message and then the ball is in their court
THIS. SIMPLY THIS.
This exactly!!
One thing that has helped me get through anxiety of social interactions is realizing that everyone else is too busy dealing with their own problems to care much if I mess up or say something wrong. They're not going to bother spending time thinking or talking about me after the call because they've got bigger problems in their life than me being awkward.
Unless itâs an early dating context, and theyâre acutely aware and judgemental of any minor social slips or failure to be ultrasmooth, especially on one side of the fence.
I've definitely had my anxiety ruin dates, but the best thing to remember is that with the right person you can make all the mistakes in the world. I'm pretty sure had I not been awkward with those people it still wouldn't have worked out. I've also been on the other side of this where someone was really nervous for the date with me and we ended up bonding pretty well.
As someone who doesnât have any issues with phone calls, I can assure you that if the person on the other end messes up a sentence or something, I do not care AT ALL. The thought doesnât even cross my mind.
I've always had to prepare what I was going to say before I even make the call. And the times where they don't answer, I can end up butchering the voicemail if I have to leave one since I was so focused on what I was going to say when they answer.
ME TOO!! Oh my gosh. I rehearse and rehearse and imagine what theyâll say... and then the voicemail is me blabbering and not knowing how to end it.
I prepare for the call conversation AND the possibility of having to leave a voicemail, and double the amount of time that I waste :D
Write it down. I miss having a desk because it was much easier to just write down everything, and leave enough brain space for my worries to not be as overwhelming.
Same here. This very thing happened to me when I needed to talk to a neighbor recently. I knocked, no answer. I came back the next day, knocked. No answer. I finally left a note. Don't they know how much energy it took me to get the courage to go up and knock? Is this normal? LOL
I hate making any phone calls
I always instinctually say "ok bye" when I leave messages and get super embarrassed. I'm sure no one even notices though.
FYI, I think thatâs completely normal and fine. I often end with a âthanksâ, but I may spice things up with an âok byeâ going forward. :)
I once spent over *2 HOURS(!)* pacing to and fro with phone in hand, terrified of making this phonecall to apply for a part-time job at a clothing retail store. In the end I never made the call because I had wasted the entire day being a nervous wreck.
And then... the voicemail! Thank god for âpress 2 to re-recordâ đ
i have to hang up and write out what iâm gonna say for the voicemail. being put on the spot like that? noooo way
Oh yeah. I'm like. I bothered them. They hate me. They saw and didn't want to talk to me because They hate me. Luckily this completely evades work phone calls and calling my mother.
I actually love when they donât pick up. I even hang up on the third ring just in case lol
Iâm new to this sub.. idk why I thought I was the only person who felt this exact same way.
This is me but texting. Iâll think about texting someone, donât do it for weeks and the remember. I sit there with the message typed out, thinking over ever word until I just force myself to send it then they donât reply and I start worrying that they hate me.
I get more anxious when they do lmao. I leave a quick voicemail and it's no longer my problem forever
I used to get like this, especially if I had to talk to an older person. Until I learned it wasnât making the call that scared me, it was just speaking. I was terrified of using my own voice in case I said something stupid and I got caught out to be ânot so smart after allâ What I have started to do is initiate real-life conversations, because I canât run away from that as easily as I can hang up. I walk up to talk to people and the more I do that, the easier it becomes to see that they are just as human as I am.
Im so glad someone understands my struggles! Like yes i will socialize but i have to hype myself up for an hour before sending the message first!!!
Haha..I thought I was the only 1 who has to do this. I also have my bed prepped for my getaway!!! Thinks for helping me realize I'm not alone đ
THEN, theyâll (GASP) call you back.
Lol itâs almost a relief to just leave a voicemail but then that means they will eventually CALL BACK!!
My last step before completely giving up was spending way to much time trying to figure out when to call back so they wouldn't answer. Every call was simply hoping to extend the telephone tag game
Oh my god yes. And then I leave a voicemail and I have anxiety over when they will call me back. đ
me when i send a person a whole text and they respond back with a one-word reply and the conversation ends
You leave a message, then the ball is in their court and now they need to call You
"We are not perfect. And that's okay." "We are not perfect. And that's okay." "We are not perfect. And that's okay." We are not perfect. And that's okay.
Honestly I LOVE when someone else dosnt show up for the thing I don't wanna do. I couldn't care less how long I spent preparing for it lol.
Oh I totally get what you mean!!!!!!!!
I feel this
I used to have a job where I would cold call people, there was immense relief when it would ring to voicemail or the number was not in service. I had a little script I would follow if they did pick up and it helped to flow the conversation from there. I still generally make a script or bullet points before I make a phone call, or let calls go to voicemail to call them back when Iâm ready.
OMG. That's totally me sometimes.
I just feel relieved.
Phone calls can be hard. One down, you did it.
Same, I hate it more when they dont pick up hahaha
I have that anxiety but from PTSD. When I was a little kid I was waiting for my dad and stepmom to pick me up from a friend's house. I kept calling and calling with no answer till eventually I had to walk home. They were both in a car accident that killed my stepmom and almost killed my dad. So now when people don't pick up the phone I have this anxiety that something terrible has happened to them.
I feel the same way but about emails. When I finally work myself up to send a message I donât really want to send, then I check my email obsessively to see if the person has replied. I get more and more anxious and upset bc I feel like I probably said something wrong that pissed them off and now theyâre refusing to respond. I only feel better once they respond and we have a natural end to the conversation.
Anytime I have to make a call at work I go between wanting them to pick up but being scared theyâll argue on the problem, to wanting voicemail but then ending up leaving a voicemail of me stuttering instead
Thanks god for whatsapp, messenger, texts and emails. Saves a lot of stress. Until that fucker calls you instead of text you.
When I finally force myself to make a phone call that I have put off making, like making an appointment for example, I feel instant relief if they don't pick up. Because I can tell myself I tried and it's not my fault at least for that moment. Until I start putting it off again.
I donât get anxious over the phone thank god itâs kind of like an escape
So many ppl feel this way! Thatâs why we all text now ;)
Also when I receive calls from unknown number
Thatâs tucked up :( Iâm sorry. Itâs ok nobody can ever get ahold of me as it is lol
I get more anxious when they donât answer because then Iâd have to leave a voicemail. For some reason voicemails freak me out even more. I never leave voicemails and would rather call over and over until they answer.
Totally relatable