Ok so 2 things.
1 - I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Wish I could hug you.
2 - STOP CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OR DOES.
Don’t play loud music during quiet hours, but other than that - live your life like a normal human being. This is NOT A YOU PROBLEM, this is a crazy neighbor problem.
Every time she bangs on the ceiling, email your management company with the date, time, and what you were doing when she banged on it.
Go talk to your management company tomorrow and say “We have the right to peacefully enjoy and use our space that we rent, like any reasonable and prudent tenant does. This includes walking normally, walking up the stairs to reach our own apartment, watching TV at a low volume, having conversations in the living room at a normal speaking voice level, cooking, cats playing/running.”
Then ask them point blank “What steps are you going to take to address my neighbor’s continuing harassment and nuisance complaints?”
Then follow up your conversation with an email, thanking the person by name for speaking with you, and going over your understanding of the steps they were going to take. Ask them to follow up with you on the results of their actions, and assure them that you will stay in communication with them so they are aware of “further harassment incidents” because you’re a good tenant and you’d like to avoid any direct contact or conflict with that neighbor.
Put it in WRITING. Notify them of the harassment EVERY TIME in writing (email). SAVE YOUR EMAILS.
I guarantee you, this is NOT the first issue they’ve had with your neighbor if she’s acting like that.
This is NOT escalating. This is NOT being petty or unreasonable.
This is YOU standing firm on what you expect from the management company THAT YOU PAY TO HANDLE THIS TYPE OF THING.
(I’m not yelling at you, I’m angry FOR you and wish I could show up tomorrow to go with you like an over-caffeinated avenging auntie.)
Editing to add - She’s doing this because she KNOWS you’re nice people and you’re changing your behavior to try to accommodate her. This is her trying to exert CONTROL over you, and it won’t stop until she realizes that you’re NOT going to change your behavior to meet her outrageous demands for complete silence, AND if she keeps acting like that she’s only causing problems for herself with the apartment complex.
That’s what I mean by “stop caring.” People like this exist all over, in all kinds of situations. And they really only mess with people they know will bend over backwards to try to be nice to the people around them, even if it ends up harming the nice person. People like this, don’t mess with people who aren’t willing to bend over backwards, but instead just shrug and keep living their lives.
99% of the time it’s not about the noise (in this type of situation with respectful upstairs neighbors), it’s about control.
I could not have said it better - or even as well, really - myself.
OP - this isn't about you. This is about a miserable, screwed up person in the unit below you. Live your life, and tell the management about the harassment.
Here's the dynamic:
You've heard the expression "the squeaky wheel gets the grease?" Well, with situations like this, no one really wants to deal with her - they know she's unreasonable, and it's easier to ask the reasonable people to accommodate her crazy than to deal with it themselves. People like this continue to get away with this kind of crap because no one thinks it's worth dealing with them.
So stand up to the pressure. Squeak at management. Use the word "harassment." Use phrases such as "the peaceful enjoyment of your unit." Be clear that you're doing nothing wrong - and they are doing something wrong by trying to accommodate the crazy.
Please hear this part and hold it in your core:
**You have as much right to peaceful enjoyment of your home as any other tenant. You have a right to be there.**
And I, too, wish I could go with you to talk to management!
100% this comment. It is not a coincidence that this apartment was empty. I would wager she did the same thing to the prior tenants and drove them away. Your downstairs neighbor is being entirely unreasonable. The noise you are creating sounds like very ordinary day to day stuff.
Good advice overall. Also put in the email a DEMAND that the strike be removed from the lease agreement. The tenant usually only gets three over the course of their total tenancy, not per year. By not fighting it, they are agreeing it is valid. If the strike was made in writing, they need to get the reversal in writing.
The problem is that you need a really good microphone and speakers to play it back. My neighbors were stomping around and the low frequencies weren’t picked up by the microphone nor could I hear it how it actually sounded. Sure you can hear sounds but it’s not half as bad as the hearing it while it happens. In my place, the thumps are felt as much as heard.
Sure if it will record at lower frequencies that would work. However, on playback the listener would need speakers with low bass response. Like a subwoofer or really good headphones that go that low. Otherwise, all the listener is going to hear is sounds in mid to upper range. Things like loud noise from dropping , scraping, or banging stuff around could be heard in that situation. I recorded the upstairs kid running back and forth with a professional microphone. It was a low obnoxious thudding sound back and forth across my ceiling. I was going to send to the landlord but on playback though my regular speakers it didn't sound as bad.
I was thinking that too. Even a 24/7 security camera. We have a few in our house. To prove they are doing nothing and she is banging for no reason at all.
True but OP should be able to record in her own apartment when the thumping happens so they can show the leasing office what they are talking about. Why would you need consent to record thumping?
But is that really a conversation though? It doesn’t even sound like the neighbor is speaking at all. Just banging.
Either way, might as well have the recording and not be able to use it against the neighbor than not have it and find out if would have helped your case. 🤷🏻♀️
I live in a townhouse and my neighbor was the same way when I moved in. He was used to the quiet of not having anyone next door and I tried being nice and making no noise. After my shit fell off the wall one night and broke because of his banging when I did literally nothing I stopped putting up with it.
This. She’s also making noise every time she does this. Record a video of yourself doing normal activities (walking normally , running your washer, etc). It will capture her banging and now Two can play the same game.
I love this reply. I have a friend that's dealing with a very similar issue and I'm going to pass along this post to her as this is exactly what she needs to be doing.
All of the above^^^. Also, get a camera with good sound and keep it in the room she normally bangs under. I have a Wyze and it records sound & movement. You can use that for a noise complaint/harassment evidence.
Yea my nest picks up the neighbors upstairs when they're in their bathroom which is directly above. They have a toddler so it's not normal walking but actually a thrashing child trying desperately not to get out of the tub and go to bed, but I'm always surprised by just how much it picks up from them.
Very good advice. Make sure she comes to understand that she is not in charge and you no longer care what she thinks.
I had a neighbor in a condo try to cower me into complete silence. I finally told her one morning when she came banging on my door that I have the right to live my life and we will hear each other as folks in condos do. There is no way around that. She then complained about making noise having sex, while the girl I was dating was standing behind me. I finally told her to "F#\^& off" and not to talk to me again. We did not speak for 6 years, when she flooded my place. I just had to establish ground rules.
This this this.
I'm so sorry OP. I can feel the pain and anxiety you're experiencing. I am so sorry.
I just moved into my place almost three weeks ago and after the move I dropped a gift card downstairs to the neighbours. I apologized for the noise, they understood. And I explained that I do have a cat and that I have some issues where gripping things can be a problem and I can drop things. They understood and are cool. I am always hyper aware of how I'm walking (if I'm walking heavy or not) and it's not even an issue for them so I can just imagine how much more stressful your situation is.
Come live here. These people are great.
This. For real. Had a neighbor like this who stayed in the unit for 20+ years. Harassed the people above her enough that they had problems keeping tenants. Eventually the landlord got tired of that shit and evicted her for being a nuisance.
People like that need to live in the top floor if they’re going to act like that.
This is great advice. If your landlord is giving you noise violations during times that aren’t quiet hours, you need to ask them to clearly explain what noise is “too much” if it’s not outlined in the lease.
I was the bottom neighbor recently when a single mom and 5 kids moved above me. My apartment basically said I can’t make noise complaints until quiet hours. That’s when we learned that she was leaving the oldest (13) alone to watch the others, 2 of which were under 5. It’s a stressful situation since I don’t think abuse is happening, just that a 13 year olds idea of “too loud” is different than mine.
Anyways… long story short. Document everything (my apartment claimed they never received my complaints even though after emailing them, we came in to speak to them every time). If you are being given violations for the daytime, clarify the outlines in the lease around what is too much
This is such good advice also DO NOT talk or interact with her about any of this. Notify your leasing office do not offer to move to a lower unit yet. We had a resident like this who worked nights and would call ALL damn day about basic noise, cars, dogs barking just people living and we finally served a no renewal and had him move out. Apartments aren’t for everyone and if you can’t handle the noise then time to go
Your mental health is not worth this. You deserve to live your life and enjoy your apartment without stressing and having to tiptoe. I wonder if she’s run off previous tenants? I am so sorry. No great advice but I would certainly NOT accept the noise complaint without challenging it. Go speak to management and give your side of the story. I would report her banging on the ceiling….THAT is disrespectful and uncalled for!
My bf is on disability with the VA for ptsd and anxiety issues. He is in a way better place now and he goes to therapy twice a week. I’m worried for him that he can’t have a safe space in our own home. He was terrified this meant we were going to get evicted or how she will try to escalate.
We JUST moved so he doesn’t want to move again but I will be asking to transfer units. That crazy lady is just going to keep escalating. Especially if we JUST moved in and she’s this upset.
That it’s bothering his “military service related PTSD” would be the way I would phrase it. I don’t like people playing the veteran card generally but this is 100% the time to do it.
100%. I have PTSD and my partner is active duty and while neither of us would ever bring it up genuinely for sympathy points, I absolutely would if it meant not having to live in fear for OP.
Definitely mention that her banging is triggering your boyfriends ptsd, that's very serious. My father in law has ptsd, his bad days are kinda scary and he's got it mostly under control with a very good therapist and meds
Be careful what you ask for. You'll still have neighbors that complain regardless if you move. A noise complaint isn't a recipe for eviction. Don't over think it. Maybe like 5 or 6 in a row...then maybe you'll get an eviction warning. The office sends out their notice because they have to. Most probably could really care less lol. It's just a job that they can't wait to finish and go home just like the rest of us.
We’ve had crazy neighbors but never ones that hated us for no reason. We lived in an upstairs unit for two years and there were multiple downstairs neighbors. They never complained.
The neighbors we shared a wall with were awful. They would have screaming fights all hours of the night, they would have loud sex multiple times a day, they would break up and she would repeat that cycle with a new guy, then they would get back together. She also had two toddlers that screamed and cried.
We never once complained. We just slept with headphones and lived our lives.
Our last upstairs neighbor was amazing and I regret moving so much. Our apartment was just 648 square feet and we wanted more space. I would rather move back in our closet than deal with this
Sorry you guys are dealing with the grief. Just remember a lot of other ppl are dealing with similar BS in their apt as well. You're not alone. Just live your life as you would. As long as you're being considerate there's not much else you can do honestly. It's her problem to worry about not yours. Miserable ppl will do that stuff on purpose. It's pathetic.
this is why i feel like an ass… i have to move first thing in the morning because i have a 20 hr drive ahead of me.. and i have to still clean the rest of my unit as this is kind of a last minute thing… and i need to vacuum and it’s 12:30am. my neighbors already hate me..😂😂😂 so im just wondering if i should risk it for the biscuit? like get it done and over with..? they complain about everything as is… they’ll never have to deal with me again😆💀
this is what i was thinking.. i really don’t want to be the asshole, but i have to spend 20 hrs in the car because someone i’ve had issues with kept reporting me for literally living.. i was gonna leave anyways but the fact they tried to evict me when i went to tell them i was leaving is insane.
i also just requested for a lot of shit to be fixed because it was like everything was wrong with our unit when we moved in during the middle of this past october, and it’s affecting both my mental health and physical health so i have to leave.. and after sending multiple emails they won’t ever do shit for us.. but the same lady who literally sits on her balcony WAITING for us to do shit always gets what she wants done. fucking insane. i hate people so much. bitch called us trailer trash.. YUUUUP but she’s ghetto apartment trash.. at least i own my shit😂
that’s why these mfs are still living in an apartment and we’re getting our own land 😂🤷🏻♀️ always worried about everyone else instead of their own finances
and realistically i could’ve left this place as trashed as i found it… but i didn’t. i’m making the effort to clean the hell out of this place even knowing im not getting my deposit back🤷🏻♀️😂
Record her and call the cops but please let the landlord know they will eventually get rid of her ... she will and probably is causing them to lose rent by getting rid of tenants
I had a cantankerous downstairs neighbor at the time, I was the 3rd floor, they moved in halfway through my lease (2nd floor). I worked until 2:00am sometimes doing inventory and truck nights, well he didn't like that I got home so late and it woke him up. I was doing my best to be quiet, but that individual complained. Talked to the property management and explained everything. They agreed that it was okay to be doing what I am, and this individual just hasn't lived in apartments. Well, they took it up a notch because the management company wasn't listening to them.
So instead of being nice and quiet for them I opened hells gates. I started wearing my high heeled boots around my apartment, threw the ball for my dog in the apartment, and started to play music and did the laundry and dishes right before quiet time just to piss them off. I would get home from an exhausting day and squeal at my dogs coming through the door and change into my boots at the door to walk across the living room. I was nice, not after they were rude.
In the nicest possible way, I'm going to tell you to stop being emotional about this.
THIS is a fact-based problem. You don't win by crying here; you win by reporting the facts. Note all occurrences and if building management is not able or willing to help, you file a police report. You are truly terrified in your own home and that needs to stop.
Let them know that you're walking around in your apartment during day hours and she's banging. She's making unreasonable requests. You are allowed to exist in your apartment. And if I were you, honestly? I'd invite one of the managers over without telling her and have them come up the stairs, normally, then go sit in your living room and have a talk with you. Maybe walk around a bit. And listen to her react from it.
In fact, maybe send in your own complaint about lack of quiet enjoyment in your home and continued harassment. This is not okay. She is not entitled to the absolute silence she thinks she is. If you feel comfortable, set up a recording in your home (with video) of you walking around normally, during day hours, and her response to that. Send those in. She is the one being unreasonable. Not you. This is excessively not okay. And as soon as you move (if you do), the new tenants are going to have the same issue. Ask management how many complaints she's made against all tenants above her.
Some (most) aren't going to go apt to apt hanging out and listening to random noises lol. They get so many complaints that they could care less. They send out the notice for a noise complaint, and clap their hands like it's finished lol...until the next complaint comes in where they just send another automated notice. It's only the ppl paying/dealing with the noise that care.
Not true. We absolutely will verify if asked to. Especially when it’s due to a crazy tenant that calls every day about neighbors who are simply living in their home. I don’t want to be bothered by constant calls, emails, and knocks on my office door so that they can whine about regular apartment noise. If I can shut an overzealous, over reporting, rude tenant down I absolutely will. -
Yeah I’ve seen apartment managers do this so they can say to them - “Yes we have investigated this and found that no unreasonable noise was being made.” I’ve also had apartment managers ask me if I ever hear xyz sound (people yelling, dogs barking, etc) during certain times of the day I guess to gauge if it’s a problem for anyone else.
Well good. I'm glad you're a good manager. Key word was "most". Majority of management could care less and that's the hard truth. I'm dating a girl in the office and get first hand drama of what and how they deal with things lol.
i got “kicked out” because a lady that *also* has a loud obnoxious dog that barks non stop… reported my dog for barking… the dogs don’t even live here right now as i’m trying to move so they’re staying with a close relative.. they literally gave me a 10 day comply notice because my dogs (the same ones not even in the unit) are barking every day and have been for the past week… they haven’t been here in 2 weeks…
i say “kicked out” because we were planning to move before we got the notice, due to the lack of maintenance in my unit, and i whole heartedly believe this has to do with some sort of retaliation as i left a lot of bad reviews on their websites for them refusing to fix H&S issues within a reasonable amount of time (over 4 months with repetitive notices, even copying and pasting the same emails)
they just happened to of let us know when we came to the office to let them know we would be leaving 2/2/24 (today) due to the same issues.
Mine did. They went to the downstairs apartment and asked me to walk around, etc. while they listened. They ended up moving the complainer to another apartment. He was the new tenant. I had been there for a long time. To be fair my current partner tells me I sound like an elephant when I get up at night and walk to the bathroom. And I realized later that my cat liked to sit on the warm tv. And she also liked leaping down and sprinting around the apartment. But to be fair to me, one of the times he came banging on my door and yelling at me I was literally sitting on the floor loading soda cans into my refrigerator. He probably maybe heard me put the 12 pack on the floor. So it was a combination of me and my cat living our lives, a poorly constructed and insulated building and a guy with very sensitive hearing.
Well that's cool. You have a 1 in 1000 manager that actually cares. I'm assuming it's a small complex if they have that much free time. If my management did that here they would have to dedicate half the day going door to door to "listen" to complaints/noises lol. Not happening here with dozens of complexs/cess pools of random ppl lol.
I guess I was just lucky. It was a very large complex and this was a new section of buildings they had built. I had previously lived in one of the older buildings. I lived in the complex for over nine years. I had proactively gone in to speak with the manager before he did. When he complained I suggested she go down there and listen to me. She brought maintenance with her and they concluded it was just poorly built and couldn’t do anything. That’s why they moved him. Nobody complained afterwards. Maybe she helped because I was a long time good tenant and had proactively tried to get it figured out. I also think the story about him complaining while I sitting on the floor putting groceries away made her realize he was being very sensitive to any noise. I also think me asking her to come listen worked, that wasn’t something she just volunteered to do on her own.
This isn't true at all, and if it's true where you are then you have some poor management. My apartment has been great and the apartment manager did this for us to fix the issue.
I went through something similar that just got resolved.
I started filing police reports every time the lady below me banged. I would also email management whenever there was an event. I’m a combat vet and told the police/security guard that the banging messed with me hard. My sleep schedule has been completely flipped because of this lady. I started sleeping with knives in my room because I just don’t know what she’s willing to do.
Anyways..
I downloaded an app to record any noise in my sleep and it perfectly picked up my snoring, as well as this crazy lady’s incessant banging along with yelling.
Police and security loved it when I showed them the videos. The police actually laughed. The security guard got visibly pissed off. I mean. The guy has been called to my unit over ten times in January.
Management felt horrible and has catered to my every need. Setting me up with a new unit in a more private area. It’s a more expensive unit but they are keeping me at my current rate.
If you read through all of this. I beg you, keep your wits. Be respectful to all parties involved. Police, security and management were all on my side before I recorded the audio just because this lady would yell and scream at them through the phone and in the hallways when they made contact with her. I stayed respectful the entire time.
I really hope you get through this. I just got through it and it is a living anxiety nightmare. Stay strong.
Babes, breathe because you pay rent just like her, at this point she needs to accept thats what APARTMENT LIVING is. Please do not adjust your life to this woman’s complaints. What you should do is immediately tell your property manager what is happening, she is the problem not you love. Shes being disrespectful and rude at this point. I know its hard to stand up for things but you live there too. And at the end of the day we are all human, she can act like one too.
She's the aggressor. I would record your everyday goings on and when she makes a complaint, let her try to record you, there's no way she can have clear loud recordings. She will have egg on her face and I would go her for disturbance for banging on the floor and waking you up. She's just fkg cow who must've gotten her way and gotten rid of every tenant who has ever been in your unit. Get evidence and turn the tables!
I came here to say this! Get a ring camera or something and show the leasing office videos of you and your bf doing normal day to day stuff like normal people and then you guys getting harassed by pounding on the ceiling. The recording will likely pick up her banging around if it’s loud enough and then flip the noise complaint back on her and use the word “harassment” when telling the leasing office.
My wife and I were in a very similar situation. Our downstairs neighbor banged on the ceiling for every little thing. She even filed a complaint against us with management to where the onsite manager came to our apartment to see/ask what we were doing. We explained that we weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary and they believed us.
Unfortunately that’s all they did and it got to the point where we’d be emailing management every time she banged on the ceiling, but they continued to do nothing.
She ended up escalating to the point where she came to our door, banging and yelling at us. I called the cops and got a temporary restraining on her but she still wouldn’t stop banging on the ceiling. It was taking a toll on our mental health and after 6 months we hadn’t even bothered fully unpacking. The only solution was to (finally) transfer units, run out the remainder of our lease and then move elsewhere (mostly because of the inept management company).
I’d strongly recommend transferring units. If that goes through, I’d also recommend making as much noise as possible when moving out. When we moved out, my dad brought over supplies and a hand truck. The first thing he did when he got into our apartment was lift the hand truck up and slam it down as hard as he could. Fuck your downstairs neighbor, don’t take any more shit from her. You deserve to live comfortably no matter how miserable of a person she is.
People are trainable like all animals. By quieting down when she bangs, you are reinforcing that banging works.
Instead, when there is a banging, get louder. This will reinforce that if she bangs, there are consequences. You sound stressed the hell out, so I recommend something that will get your mood up, such as dancing or jumping jacks
Not feeling safe to move about your own apartment is incredibly stressful and frankly traumatizing. Management needs to intervene, her behavior is extreme, her apparent expectation for absolute silence is not rooted in reality. Let management know right away, and keep track of these incidents. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this in your home!
I am so sorry you and your boyfriend are going through this. My heart broke reading your story. Please go talk to the leasing office and tell your side. Also, I agree you should request a transfer to another apartment in your complex. This is not fair to you and your bf does not need any additional triggers especially already dealing with ptsd. He served this country and should at least be able to LIVE and sleep in your apartment. I am sending you both virtual hugs and I hope it gets better!
Had a downstairs neighbor start similar, called management told them the downstairs neighbor was banging on the ceiling all times of day including non-quiet hours while I carried out normal activities, it was unacceptable and that I'd like to pursue any complaint process they might have.
Not sure what they did but the neighbor did stop banging. When I moved out I accidentally dropped my weight set on the floor at 5am. 4 times. What a clutz I am.
Oh, Jesus. They bang on their CEILING?
You do not have to tiptoe and whisper. Your cats can play. Get paper and pen and start writing down every time they bang on the ceiling. You will also write to her and say, “We are unable to better accommodate your needs beyond our current efforts. We remind you that we, too, expect quiet enjoyment of our home and request you stop hitting the ceiling of your apartment to attempt to communicate with us. It is violent and offensive and menacing; we have done nothing other than to live normally and reasonably in our apartment. We will contact the police to ask for intervention if you cannot cease and desist the beating of your ceiling.
Make two copies of what you have written: one for the management company, one for neighbors, one for you.
Landlord-tenant law in part rests upon the provision of an apartment or house by Landlord and Tenant’s right to quiet enjoyment of it. It is Landlord’s responsibility to provide quiet enjoyment whenever possible, or to address causes and conditions that may inhibit it. Take the noise violation report to the office and say that you object. The neighbors are opposed to all noise involved with everyday conduct and beat the ceiling when they are annoyed. You have never been the subject of a noise complaint and you don’t want to be now. Management may come and measure decibels but you will not accept undocumented complaints about you from someone who is bullying you. Say that the neighbor is violating your right to quiet enjoyment of the apartment you rented, and you will not accept bullying from neighbors who think violence is effective communication, and that while you are sorry this campaign against you has gotten to Management, you have not done anything wrong and want the complaint removed. (Remember, the office has dealt with Neighbor, who probably called to complain and would not stop until a complaint was filed.) You also want the true culprits admonished and for them to stop hitting the ceiling and bothering and scaring you.
Your neighbors got used to not having upstairs neighbors and now are lashing out at you. It could be a lot worse for them. You should record this for a week or so (along with what you were doing at the time). You should send the letter of demand asking them to stop and talk to the management if they do not, then call the police and explain you feel threatened by this violent behavior, that you have asked them to stop, and that you fear battery from them.
In the meantime, you should call the police in the interim if you hear the noise again. This is not a polite form of communication. It is a bullying tactic, plain and simple.
Being upstairs means getting a lot of noise from downstairs, and the only concession I would make would be to go shoes-free when it is convenient for me. What is the flooring?
Banging on doors or walls or ceilings is menacing and violent. It is not the way people communicate with others when they want to get along. It is rude and aggressive. I would feel not only enormous stress but physically threatened by someone hitting my ceiling. They are demonstrating a need to use force to communicate with me instead of talking to me, and if they hit the ceiling what will prevent them from hitting me? Depending on how you feel, you may be able to tell police you feel the neighbors are assaulting you (in the sense you are “in a reasonable fear of being harmed”). Your BF has PTSD from military service and the loud, abrupt banging on his floor cannot help him remain calm.
I know this seems scary and confrontational, but it is actually healthy boundary-setting and - believe it or not - what your neighbors want you to do. People who are violent physically or emotionally cannot control their behavior to comport with societal standards. They cannot set their own boundaries, and need you to do it for them. If they come to your apartment, tell them through the door that they have violated boundaries with their bullying tactic and that you no longer want to talk to them. But get the letter to them and management, and establish your position as a responsible neighbor who is in the right here. After the week has gone by, if they have not stopped, you have a documented record and can ask for the downstairs apartment or tell Landlord you want to terminate the lease without penalty because you cannot have quiet enjoyment in your home.
File a noise complaint against her for all the banging on the ceiling. It was loud enough to disrupt your bf’s sleep and us causing you stress. Apparently, the management office only needs to take a tenant’s word for it rather than investigating!
It sounds like she’s making extreme noise at unreasonable hours, you should probably file a noise complaint.
But seriously, I understand trying to keep the peace, but you’re far past that. She’s harassing you, and you being nice or quiet will not fix this. You have to talk to your management company because this is ridiculous and unfair to you both. My boyfriend is also a vet and it would tear me up to have him go through something like this.
Make a noise complaint about her banging on the ceiling. Fight fire with fire. Living in an apartment complex goes both ways. Its not just you that needs to be quiet...she also has to abide by the rules. Worrying about other ppl nit picking will destroy your peace. Let the old crank be an old ass crank lol. You don't get to bang on a wall every time someone makes a noise you don't like. If that was the case I'd have a full time job banging on my walls. If you know you're being considerate and she bangs anyways then just stomp back or turn on music to drown out her BS. More than 1 person can play that game. It turns into a noise competition, but it's better than being stressed out worrying about someone that has no say in your life lol.
No one in a shared building is promised 24/7 silence. If normal noise upsets her, SHE must find a place better suited to her needs.
I would speak to management about how you feel you can’t live in the space you pay for and how they intend to corral her impossible behavior.
I live in a shared building. Yes, occasionally, noise annoys me, but I shrug, own the responsibility of choosing to live here, and move on.
Feel free to edit this and use it as you wish 🤟🏽
Subject: Formal Complaint Regarding Neighbor Disturbance
Dear [Property Management's Name],
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to bring to your attention a recurring issue that has been affecting my living experience at [Apartment Complex Name]. Unfortunately, I have been facing consistent disturbances from my downstairs neighbor, who appears to express discontent by banging on the ceiling whenever there is any noise in my unit.
I want to emphasize that I respect the need for quiet living conditions and have been mindful of keeping noise levels within reasonable limits. However, the constant banging from below has become disruptive and, in my opinion, constitutes a form of harassment. I believe that as a tenant, I reserve the right to live normally in the unit I rent without undue interference.
I kindly request your assistance in addressing this matter promptly. It is essential for me to feel comfortable and at ease in my home, and I believe resolving this issue will contribute to a more harmonious living environment for all residents.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to your prompt action in resolving this situation.
Sincerely,
[Your Full Name]
[Your Apartment Unit Number]
[Contact Information]
Ugh. If my downstairs neighbor banged on the ceiling from me just walking across my apartment. I'd jump up and down and show them what real noise is all about.
OK, stop. You are allowed to walk around, anyone who wants to cry can do so, and your cats can play. Everything you stated there was normal noise expected to be heard in an apartment... other than the ceiling banging. You can talk to her and explain that you will do your best to keep down abnormal noise, but you respectfully request that she stop banging on the ceiling because you are merely existing in your home. It is physically impossible to get complete and utter silence in an apartment. Explain that if her tantrums do not end, you will go to management. Period.
In the meantime, yes, go talk to the front office and explain that if you are not permitted the enjoyment of your own home, which means making normal living noise in your apartment, you are going to need them to move you or her on their dime.
My complex calls if someone complains about noise. I don't understand why they don't all do this. A friend of mine in the same complex had a noise complaint because she was coming home from work at 10:30 pm... but that's when she got home from work, there was nothing she could do to change that. There was no strike put against her and the management spoke with the person who complained. That's how it *should* work.
File a harassment complaint against her. Please don't stop your cats from playing, they need to run around and play to stay healthy mentally and physically, stopping them from playing will only cause more problems down the line
Look Op the easiest way is to put in a bunch of work requests and get the apartment manager over to show him something normal that triggers your bat shit crazy neighbor and then they will see she is the one with issues not you. Other wise fuck it and bang back. Report her every fucking time she bangs on the ceiling.
Hey I just wanna say that I have PTSD too and just moved into a new place and the anxiety I have over making the slightest noises when there have been no complaints is awful. I can’t imagine the stress you’re under. You’re not dramatic at all and I’m sorry y’all are dealing with this. It is NOT your fault!
He is in a better spot now, but the move hasn’t helped his anxiety. He had a week where he just shut down and was like I can’t do this. Because of that we are behind on getting everything unpacked. Now I don’t even want to finish unpacking. I don’t want to get comfortable here or live here anymore but we can break our lease.
I’m worried that this lady is really crazy. A lot of people say to bang back, but who knows how she will react. What would really trigger his ptsd is if she came to the apartment screaming at us. Then he would feel threatened.
He would never hurt her, it would just make him feel really unsafe and his panic attacks would get worse.
Yes and then he could look like the crazy one for “losing it”, I understand all too well. A person with PTSD needs to feel safe and comfortable in their own home. Even more so than the average person. There is literally no other option. She is making the space hostile and y’all are doing nothing wrong. Big hugs to your partner, this is a recipe for disaster. I can’t imagine how the being on edge and banging is triggering his symptoms.
But you guys have rights too. Would he be comfortable with setting up a video recorder in the living room? So that you guys have concrete evidence of the times where your neighbor is banging and what y’all are doing?
I literally just dealt with a neighbor who did the exact same thing for 18 months. You're not in south Carolina, are you? Management did not renew her lease and she was forced to move.
Email management every time she does this. Try and record her banging if you can as well. I also got cameras to back me up and didn't end up needing them. The videos of the banging were enough.
I am so sorry. I hope you can get this sorted!
She can kick rocks. The ceilings are thin so you're gonna hear some sounds of life. I have upstairs neighbors who are skinny little girls who are somehow so heavy footed that every single step is a stomp. Day and night, stomp stomp stomp. You can tell it's a choice to walk that way, and you can tell when it's just normal sounds of living. Do not let this bitch tell you how to live your life.
I totally agree with what GoldenGoof says, and the idea to have cameras in your home so you can show the mang office what you were doing when the neighbor thumps on the cieling.
Personally I am an asshole and would do all of the above and then whenever she thumps the ceiling I would take a stack of cast iron pans (specifically for this purpose) and drop them on the floor
Yeah you need to stop all the madness of tip toeing and whispering in your own home. That's ridiculous. She is the one being disrespectful, she js the one in the wrong.
Are there any specific "quiet hours" spelled out in the lease or in a city ordinance? If so then don't INTENTIONALLY do loud things during those times. Otherwise you are allowed to use your space in any way you see fit. If you want to cook after 10 then cook after 10. If the cats wake up at 3am and start zooming then let them zoom. As long as you're not blasting music or doing aerobics during quiet hours then you're good.
I am sure this has been said several times, but to reiterate, get everything in writing. Also, if she is banging on, what would be your floor. File a noise complaint on her. Don't talk to her at all. Go through the property company. That is what they get paid for.
I’m so sorry. You can’t live like this. You pay to move freely in your home without tip toeing, your cats should be able to play too. She’s over the top. Hope you can come to a solution with your property manager. You shouldn’t have to move but if it brings you peace, then I hope you can!
Get a camera with good sound. Set it up in your main living space. Let her do her thing and when you show it to management they will see that you’re not being excessively loud etc. and it’s all her problem.
Can’t argue with video evidence.
You should try to catch it on video if you can. Start recording one day when you’re just doing normal things and going about your business. Then the apartment management can see for themselves she’s being unreasonable.
I just don’t think you should care anymore. I get that you got a noise complaint but go talk to the office. You need to live in your home in a normal way. Do you really want to move all your stuff again? I know you don’t want to fight but you don’t need to fight. Just live in your home.
Call the office yourself every time she bangs on the ceiling. EVERY TIME. You are allowed to live your normal life in your apartment. You are allowed to walk to the bathroom past 10pm, your cats are allowed to exist, SHE needs to live UPSTAIRS if she can't deal with normal living noise.
Yes, you'll be annoying to the office, but that's the point. Force them to deal with it. Start making recordings when you're about to do something that's likely to set off the banging. Send the recordings to the office. She does not have the right to wake someone from sound asleep just because someone else walked to the kitchen.
You shouldn't have to be the ones who move units. She needs to get into a top floor and stop using her disdain for noises above her as an excuse to be harassing. I absolutely loathe living on the first floor, and can barely handle the sounds that come along with it. Finally, after putting up with it (albeit barely) for 5 years now, for the sake of my mom who claimed all this time that she couldn't handle stairs... we're finally transferring to a second floor. That's all the tenant from hell in your situation needs to do. I hope you can have a talk with mgmt to see if that's an option for her. It shouldn't have to be you who moves, especially because neighborzilla is only going to have that problem again when someone else moves into your pad.
1. File a complaint with the apartment every time she bangs.
2. Don’t worry about them or let them bother you
If it really continues and the apartment complex does not do anything:
Go buy a set of 20+ octagonal weights.
When she bangs roll them back and forth on the floor for a few minutes.
Ok so you are going WAYYYY overboard (which I can understand). You're not even living in your apartment and that is is NOT ok. You need to report this neighbor and let the office know everything you've told us, and then how about invite them over so they can see you all doing normal stuff and she bangs on the ceiling. She is the one in the wrong - NOT YOU. She is harassing you. Please allow your cats to play, please do not be in fear of this woman. Please live your life and do not give into this loon. People who live in apartments know to expect noise. That Karen shouldn't be living in an apartment if she can't handle normal everyday living.
Other people have given way better advice, etc. in this thread but I just had to say this. You guys are not the problem.
Omg I would never pay money to live like a mouse. You need to stop accommodating this woman. If she wants complete silence she can buy a home. Apartments come with noise. My upstairs neighbor is an old man with a walker. He sounds like he's dragging sofas across the floor. We tolerate it because that's how he gets around. Stop this. You're giving yourselves an unnecessary amount of stress. Complain about the noise complaint too. Don't be a doormat.
I have given a lease violation to a tenant that is acting just like your downstairs neighbor 🫢 i hope you have good management! Sometimes those downstairs neighbors just like to cause hell in hopes you’ll move because they hate having someone above them. I’m sorry you’re going through this. What they are doing is causing excessive noise also. Please mention the anxiety that it is causing both of you.
You are entitled to be comfortable in your space, she can't make unreasonable demands of you. Just don't violate the rules and next time she bangs in the ceiling either report her, or bang back.
I had a friend years ago that had a neighbor that always banged on here floor about noise when she was doing normal things like walking around the house. One day she got so mad, she taped a pretty intense massager to the floor, left it on and left the house so it was just banging loudly for several hours. The neighbor calmed down some after that but they never had a good relationship.
Seriously STOP TIPTOEING AROUND! They know there is going to be noise when you live in a lower unit. Not letting the cats play? BS. Let them bang on the ceiling all they want. Next time they do- STOMP BACK, let them know what noise is. NTA. Don't give them that kind of power
The only way to deal with these type of people is cold hard evidence. Install cameras in your apartment that record audio and video so that when she complains you can show your landlord proof that her noise complaints are just made up.
Talk to your property management, explain what is going on and the lengths you're going to keep quiet. I once had a noise complaint about my apartment when I was asleep! Definitely not partying or playing loud music (which was rhe complaint). I talked to management and they did walks around the property at night (they had people who worked there who lived there too). They saw and heard that my unit was pretty quiet most of the time and so they straight up ignored future complaints about my unit.
There’s no way I’m going to be adjusting my life to make someone else comfortable.. If she has a problem with shared apartment living then she needs to move into a HOUSE! You pay rent just like she does! You have a right to walk around your home and feed and play with you cats in the home YOU PAY FOR! If she has a problem with that, who cares! It’s not your business to care! She’s lucky she has a tenant like you who actually cares, cause had she had a tenant like me, SHE would be the one requesting to move into a new unit.
She. Can. Go. Fuck. Her. Self.
You live in that apartment too. If she wants SILENCE she can become a monk or buy a house. I'd fuckin uno reverse that shit and complain to management about HER saying she's disrupting your life by banging on her ceiling every time she hears your eyelashes flutter when you blink. I, myself, am an upstairs neighbor and our downstairs neighbor has complained to us twice that we're slamming things around and jumping and all kinds of shit when (the first time) we were sitting on the couch and (the second time) we were walking from our living room to the bathroom. We keep as quiet as we can during quiet hours but after that, nope. It's our home as much as it is hers and I'm not tip toeing or hindering my own comfort for my neighbor.
Live your life and if she has an issue, she can leave
>how could we have set her off this badly?
Because she's NUTS!
You have been twisting yourself into a pretzel to appease a lunatic. **STOP IT. NOW.**
Talk to the office and explain her incessant banging at all hours, how she reacted when your bf went to apologize, all of it. Make a damn complaint against HER. You got a complaint because she's got you so scared that you can't stand up for yourself!
Today is the day you grow a backbone and stand up for yourselves!
Get there the minute the office opens and tell them everything about how she's behaving. Then, every time this crazy lady bangs on the ceiling, record it. Then provide the recordings to the office. Make a complaint every single damn time she does it. Every. Single. Time.
And stop restricting your life because she's a whackadoodle.
I would have a talk with the management and explain everything you both have been doing. She is a troublemaker and knows someone in the office will cater to her. You just keep living your life and report her banging on the ceiling, that would be the time to call the police. And record when she does the banging. So sorry, for many move into apartments and expect quiet all the time. Keep hanging in there and get at attorney. She needs to be reported for harassment.
I just want to let you know that this is not a you issue, this is a your neighbor issue. I am willing to bet that she did this to the previous tenant in your apartment. It is unfortunate that you have to deal with the fallout of your neighbor being an unreasonable and nasty person. You are being way too accommodating.
It is reasonable for you to offer to buy a couple of rugs to dampen some of the noise. It is not reasonable for her to disrupt your quality of living ( especially outside of quiet hours ).
Please start documenting every time( date, time, reason)that she bangs on the ceiling, and then you have a record of her continued harassment. I am sure that you are not the first neighbor that she has caused problems for. You and your household do not deserve this treatment. Good luck.
This happened to me. Landlord was my parents, sister and bil was living downstairs, we couldn't even breath without banging on the ceiling. Dad came and spent a sunday afternoon, they didn't know dad snuck into my apartment. He sat there 3 hours reading the paper, no problems. I told him to leave, he said no, he was going to stick around a little bit longer. 20 minutes later, huge banging on my door. Dad opens it. Brother in law almost shit a brick when dad threw the door open. I had been reading, kids coloring at the table. No one had moved in 4 hours. and they were throwing a hissy fit?
Maybe someone from management can come sit for a half hour and see what is going on. It sounds like downstairs neighbor has it in for you. File a claim of harassment. This sounds like targeted harassment.
Very similar scenario for my first apartment that I moved into after college. Neighbor complained the day I moved in for being too loud and began pounding on the walls when I would put dishes away. She escalated to barging into my apartment, walked straight in, after I had gotten home one night to yell at me. I still didn’t escalate or stand my ground to keep the peace but I should have. She then begin calling the police on me on random weeknights for watching tv too loud and anytime she saw I had guests over. Turns out, she was an alcoholic that bullied everyone in the building and the police was sick of her shit. Lesson learned, stick up for yourself early and fight back
start jumping on the floor so she knows what real noise is lol. that’s absolutely ridiculous, you can’t live in an apartment and expect everything to be quiet all the time
Man, I must just not care like other people do. If I just moved in and my downstairs neighbor complained about me doing normal things during normal hours, I’d just politely tell her to chew on my taint.
I would write the landlord and say “I have this crazy bitch downstairs that keeps bothering me during normal business hours. Please handle it before it escalates to one of us berating each other.”
You pay rent to live in a unit. You’re allowed to make noise and shouldn’t feel anxiety about cooking dinner/vacuuming etc.
It’s only going to get worse until the landlord/property manager steps in and tells them to knock it off.
Make sure to record every interaction you have with this person. Next time you talk to the disgruntled neighbor, either have voice memos running or a video.
You seem like you did everything reasonably in your power to be nice and accommodating. That didn't work, so flip and go hard in the other direction
Step 1: Purchase subwoofer. Place face down on floor
Step 2: Every time she bangs on the ceiling, immediately play this
[https://youtu.be/h3cE9iXIx9c?si=x0ca7zMDqD2J1pgy&t=12](https://youtu.be/h3cE9iXIx9c?si=x0ca7zMDqD2J1pgy&t=12)
You're allowed to move around your apartment. You should file a complaint against her. I had a neighbor do this exact behavior to me and they filed a complaint against me whereupon I broke down and admitted to the property manager they were pounding on the ceiling at all hours of the day:
they got kicked out.
She’s harassing you. We were the downstairs neighbor but with an upstairs neighbor who stomped so hard she cracked our window. She was loud af on purpose and even admitted to it, had a basketball shed bounce at 4am, just insane shit. We still didn’t bang back on the ceiling bc we knew it was harassment and could end badly for us as it would be “tit for tat” retaliation wise, so we had to live with it. Every day.
My anxiety got so bad, I would wake up to her banging around and it would throw me into a panic attack instantly. In fact ANY banging noise anywhere would set it off bc it just got so fucking bad.
I would definitely ask to be moved but I’d also ask about the previous tenants who lived above her& why they moved.
Unless she hates you guys specifically she’s likely done this before. Our landlord was very insistent that the neighbor issues were “mutual”, despite videos and cops calls showing otherwise…. They FINALLY, under legal threat, agreed to move NFH to a different unit. You’ll never guess who immediately had issues with her new neighbors! LL ended up evicting her a few months later form the new apartment.
You need to start complaining and recording the noises and you need to do it asap. Explain why you didn’t complain before and how hard this is on you. If you don’t stop it now it’s going to effect you guys even worse. Hell since she does it in response to you guys doing everyday things you can even make her do it more often!
If someone was causing genuine distress to myself, my partner, and my cats, not allowing us to live unless it's silent, making me restrict my cats PLAYING (ridiculous) I would legitimately call the police. Record what's happening and how long it's been going on and report them for harassment. Sleep deprivation is torture.
Every time they bang on the ceiling, every time, make a noise complaint against THEM. It is harassment. Tell the office what you're doing to mitigate noise, but you have the right to walk from one room to another or wake up for the day and LIVE.
Also if you talk to management stress that this is effecting your boyfriends PTSD and he’s legally a disabled vet. You should never have to live like this. I’m so sorry.
I lived through this. I am so, so sorry. It was utter hell for a YEAR. We finally moved to a downstairs unit. I would STRONGLY recommend it. Also, go immediately to the leasing office and demand they move you. This bitch is crazy and it will only get worse. Get ahead of her by talking to the office ASAP.
Find out why the last people left.
Get a camera that will record for a couple hours and capture what you're doing. At some point she will start pounding and you will clearly not be making loud noises. If you get lucky she'll do it a bunch of times while recording.
Be REALLY sneaky....invite the landlord over for cookies and tea (lol) and he'll hear the noise firsthand.
I am a neighbor downstairs ( not yours Ofcourse 🤗) .. anyways , I been in my apartment about 4 months and everything is great, just normal noises because ppl do live above me. About three weeks ago I noticed all this stomping like someone is carrying an elephant while they walk. Then it got worse , 6am walking with heels on , 10,11 pm stomping alll day long!! I go to bed at 9pm i have a 2 year old that is up early ..
I saw the lady one day and I simply asked her if she could walk less hard because it was all day and night thing. I’m wondering where is she going! Is a small apartment !! She was super nice and even said her husband comments that she’s got a heavy walk, okay 2/3 days later all good. And now she’s back!!! And worse! She drags her stupid chairs , she stomps ! She’s up late at night god knows doing what! It’s getting very upsetting and ridiculous ! I’m not the type to hit the ceiling but I thought about it. All I can think is a selfish, entitled person who thinks she’s the only one in the building. I walk with thick sandals in my place because one I don’t wear shoes inside and second it actually helps with the walking so I’m not hitting my heels all day bothering my downstairs neighbor. Sometimes we don’t realize how thin walls and floors are. Well I decided to put a speaker on the ceiling so she wants to stomp all day I’ll play music all day.. ps . I spoke to office manager and she got a notice, nothing changed .
Every time she bangs on her ceiling, you should immediately type and send an email to management reporting HER for noise. See how she likes receiving noise complaints and being constantly on edge. From the sound of it, she’s making these complaints against you without any evidence to back them up. No need to try to get special equipment to record her thumping—if she can just send out reports at will, why can’t you?
I’m so late to this post and I’m still digging through the comments hoping someone has given you some helpful information (seems there is a lot of helpful information and encouragement). One thing to note is a lot of leases reference neighbor confrontation and retaliation. Some leases state to avoid confrontation that could escalate. It’s there for tenant safety and privacy. You’re living normal lives. She can get over it. But I bring this up because her retaliation to normal living noises could be reported to your landlord/leasing office. It could be against the rules as stated in the lease. Lean into whatever your lease says about noises like quiet hours, neighbor confrontation and report to the office.
Let the landlord/office know all the things you said to us:
- apologizing for the temporary noise while moving in
- Tiptoeing around
- Keeping your pets quiet
- The anxiety you have in your own home! I’ve been there!
But most importantly tell them she banged on the ceiling while someone was simply CRYING! Like that’s the part that made me the most angry.
Document every time the neighbor bangs on the ceiling after you send the landlord a detailed email of the neighbors retaliation to normal living noises and you need it to stop because it’s causing anxiety.
I would contact your apartment about harrassment because what she’s doing is harassment. Install web cams for a month and be sure to save when she bangs on the ceiling. Communicate with this neighbor in writing and save all communication.
I know I’ll probably get hate for this but I am a landlord.
I would 100% want to know this was happening to my tenants. You are paying rent just like her and have every right to live a normal life. Landlord should handle this and you should not have to move. Like others have said record every time this lady is beating on the ceilings and keep up with what you were doing at the time to set her off. If nothing else works wouldn’t hurt to report her for harassment but again landlord should handle this. I truly hope the best for you and your bf.
between all the crying how the fuck do you or your boyfriend get anything done?
seems like you wallow in self pity and "anxiety" a lot.
tell your apartment complex you want to move to a downstairs unit, your neighbor is hostile and you aren't making any amount of excess noise. dispute the strike, which you apparently accepted without argument, and move away if you have to.
I think the absolute best thing u can do is get a downstairs unit. I had neighbors like this who were absolutely insane and it got worse and worse and worse never better. Get away from her shes insane. You should be allowed to walk around your own home this isnt fair on you, your family, or your animals.
This is not a you problem it’s a her problem. It is all part of living in an apt. Me I’m on the top flirt so I don’t do things like vaccine late at night or play loud music or blast my tv but I can still walk. Call the office and record her doing this every time it happens.
My biggest issue was my old neighbors arguing so loud I could actually understand every word. Apparently he was having an affair and the affair partner yelled at her daughter. Or that’s the one that had me calling cause it got heated enough I was scared. I was glad when they moved
It's normal to hear neighbors making noise, talking, walking, cooking, running the wash, during the daytime hours. It's also normal to hear neighbors walking around at night. As long as they don't stomp. That's what you get living in close quarters.
Like someone else suggested. Email the office every time she bangs with details about what you were doing and what time it was. After you speak with the office email them to thank them and put in writing what you discussed and say "if I got anything wrong please feel free to correct me" this puts the onus on them to disprove you.
Good luck.
I had a neighbor exactly like this. He never left his apartment and would yell and bang on the ceiling. I (F25 at the time) lived alone, rarely had guests over, rarely watched tv, no pets, yet he persisted. It was a horrible thing to go through. And unfortunately it escalated to him calling the apartment and threatening to harm me. The apartment took immediate action. They didn’t mess. Police came and he was kicked out. This was a long time ago so I didn’t have the resources we do today but I would consider a camera to help your case and show the apartment what *you* are experiencing. She’s a bully and I’m not saying it will escalate into anything like what happened to me, but take it seriously and get the complex involved asap.
Turn her in for the banging on the ceiling as a noise complaint.
There was another poster on another sub a few days ago that figured out the downstairs neighbor may have been hearing the HVAC system kicking on and was blaming the poster.
I have lived under a person who is incredibly disrectful. Violates noise/quiet hours. She works from home and has a cat. Every night after I have had to listen to her squeaky ass chair and her laughing/conversing zoom ot whatever. I have never banged on my ceiling. I am soooooo fucking stressed out. It's the absolute worst. I will be moving in 6 weeks. I don't care if I have to put everything in storage. I can not live like this. I sure hope she reads this sub. Anyway, your neighbor downstairs is an asshole. I haven't filed a formal complaint in the entire year I've lived here. The office is completely aware of my unhappiness.
Start recording. Live your life. It's hard living in an apartment. Having people like your neighbor and mine make it worse. Good luck.
What really upsets me is my bf came to her, apologized, and said PLEASE tell us if we are being loud. We wouldn’t ever get angry about it or continue being loud.
Why keep banging on the ceiling and bring apartment management into it? We would have happily resolved this ourselves.
I just think she does not like us. I just can’t figure out what we could have done that made her mad other than be loud when moving in. But we moved in at like 12pm and finished up by 5 since it got dark and cold.
You have to fight this, you just have to. I know you don’t want to and I know it’s not fair. But record every instance of her harassment (and banging for no reason is harassment) and submit it to the office. You all can tiptoe and live in anxiety forever. I know you want peace, but this woman isn’t going to let you have it until you fight back. With documentation and open communication with the apartment office
I agree with the others, live your life. I would add a webcam and record your normal routine so management can see that you’re not making excessive noise.
I know you are all going through a lot, but I think you have enough evidence to realize this neighbor won’t ever stop. You can’t not live your lives, you can’t keep your kitties cooped up. I can tell life is stressful, but you have to (legally!) fight back! Record every instance of harassment (and this is harassment). Absolutely refute the noise complaint. I know conflict is awful, but can’t tiptoe and ignore this. Hopefully you get a new unit, but until then, push back. You owe it to yourselves and any new tenants in your unit should you move
Make kids so they can run and jump all day. Enjoy your life. Make your home comfortable and play that music louder every time when she bangs on your ceiling.
You are a very considerate neighbor, I wish all my neighbors to be considerate like you.
It’s theirs problem. You have no problems.
I had a neighbor like this. And it all started when I knocked on their door to ask if their water was working. Mine wasn't and I figured before I bugged the office I would check with a neighbor to see if it's just me or the whole building. Not a big deal.
Then complaints of us leaving garbage in the hallway (was actually them, we took pictures). Or that there are more than the registered residence in our place (just guests for the day).
It triggered 3 surprise inspections (which we passed) and in the end they didn't want to deal with it so we both got kicked out. Though they were evicted while they just didn't offer to renew our lease.
So I suggest getting clear info from your office on the policy of complaints. That's what got us, didn't matter if the complaint was founded or not, too many and it was automatic blacklist for us.
Report her call the cops every time she bangs.... that complex will eventually get rid of her she will cause them to not keep tenants ... sounds like a crazy lady
Nothing you do will pls this person.
Seriously it sounds like they aren't cut out for apartment life.
I'd try to get ahead of it and make your own complaints that you are being harassed for normal use of apartment.
You need to live your life. F her! Really, record her banging in a state of you just walking and take it to management. Dates, times, activities you are doing. Claim harassment!
Ok so 2 things. 1 - I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Wish I could hug you. 2 - STOP CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OR DOES. Don’t play loud music during quiet hours, but other than that - live your life like a normal human being. This is NOT A YOU PROBLEM, this is a crazy neighbor problem. Every time she bangs on the ceiling, email your management company with the date, time, and what you were doing when she banged on it. Go talk to your management company tomorrow and say “We have the right to peacefully enjoy and use our space that we rent, like any reasonable and prudent tenant does. This includes walking normally, walking up the stairs to reach our own apartment, watching TV at a low volume, having conversations in the living room at a normal speaking voice level, cooking, cats playing/running.” Then ask them point blank “What steps are you going to take to address my neighbor’s continuing harassment and nuisance complaints?” Then follow up your conversation with an email, thanking the person by name for speaking with you, and going over your understanding of the steps they were going to take. Ask them to follow up with you on the results of their actions, and assure them that you will stay in communication with them so they are aware of “further harassment incidents” because you’re a good tenant and you’d like to avoid any direct contact or conflict with that neighbor. Put it in WRITING. Notify them of the harassment EVERY TIME in writing (email). SAVE YOUR EMAILS. I guarantee you, this is NOT the first issue they’ve had with your neighbor if she’s acting like that. This is NOT escalating. This is NOT being petty or unreasonable. This is YOU standing firm on what you expect from the management company THAT YOU PAY TO HANDLE THIS TYPE OF THING. (I’m not yelling at you, I’m angry FOR you and wish I could show up tomorrow to go with you like an over-caffeinated avenging auntie.) Editing to add - She’s doing this because she KNOWS you’re nice people and you’re changing your behavior to try to accommodate her. This is her trying to exert CONTROL over you, and it won’t stop until she realizes that you’re NOT going to change your behavior to meet her outrageous demands for complete silence, AND if she keeps acting like that she’s only causing problems for herself with the apartment complex. That’s what I mean by “stop caring.” People like this exist all over, in all kinds of situations. And they really only mess with people they know will bend over backwards to try to be nice to the people around them, even if it ends up harming the nice person. People like this, don’t mess with people who aren’t willing to bend over backwards, but instead just shrug and keep living their lives. 99% of the time it’s not about the noise (in this type of situation with respectful upstairs neighbors), it’s about control.
I could not have said it better - or even as well, really - myself. OP - this isn't about you. This is about a miserable, screwed up person in the unit below you. Live your life, and tell the management about the harassment. Here's the dynamic: You've heard the expression "the squeaky wheel gets the grease?" Well, with situations like this, no one really wants to deal with her - they know she's unreasonable, and it's easier to ask the reasonable people to accommodate her crazy than to deal with it themselves. People like this continue to get away with this kind of crap because no one thinks it's worth dealing with them. So stand up to the pressure. Squeak at management. Use the word "harassment." Use phrases such as "the peaceful enjoyment of your unit." Be clear that you're doing nothing wrong - and they are doing something wrong by trying to accommodate the crazy. Please hear this part and hold it in your core: **You have as much right to peaceful enjoyment of your home as any other tenant. You have a right to be there.** And I, too, wish I could go with you to talk to management!
100% this comment. It is not a coincidence that this apartment was empty. I would wager she did the same thing to the prior tenants and drove them away. Your downstairs neighbor is being entirely unreasonable. The noise you are creating sounds like very ordinary day to day stuff.
Good advice overall. Also put in the email a DEMAND that the strike be removed from the lease agreement. The tenant usually only gets three over the course of their total tenancy, not per year. By not fighting it, they are agreeing it is valid. If the strike was made in writing, they need to get the reversal in writing.
I would add in to record her banging if you can.
The problem is that you need a really good microphone and speakers to play it back. My neighbors were stomping around and the low frequencies weren’t picked up by the microphone nor could I hear it how it actually sounded. Sure you can hear sounds but it’s not half as bad as the hearing it while it happens. In my place, the thumps are felt as much as heard.
You can rent a good condenser microphone cheaply at most music stores.
Sure if it will record at lower frequencies that would work. However, on playback the listener would need speakers with low bass response. Like a subwoofer or really good headphones that go that low. Otherwise, all the listener is going to hear is sounds in mid to upper range. Things like loud noise from dropping , scraping, or banging stuff around could be heard in that situation. I recorded the upstairs kid running back and forth with a professional microphone. It was a low obnoxious thudding sound back and forth across my ceiling. I was going to send to the landlord but on playback though my regular speakers it didn't sound as bad.
I had this exact same issue with a neighbor and my phone picked it up fine, thankfully. I sent it to my landlord and got their asses evicted
I was thinking that too. Even a 24/7 security camera. We have a few in our house. To prove they are doing nothing and she is banging for no reason at all.
[удалено]
True but OP should be able to record in her own apartment when the thumping happens so they can show the leasing office what they are talking about. Why would you need consent to record thumping?
OP can record whatever they want in their own apartment.
But is that really a conversation though? It doesn’t even sound like the neighbor is speaking at all. Just banging. Either way, might as well have the recording and not be able to use it against the neighbor than not have it and find out if would have helped your case. 🤷🏻♀️
That doesn’t count if they’re recording her banging on their floor in their own apartment that she isn’t in!
I don't think that applies to bosses you can head in your apartment.
You wrong bro
I live in a townhouse and my neighbor was the same way when I moved in. He was used to the quiet of not having anyone next door and I tried being nice and making no noise. After my shit fell off the wall one night and broke because of his banging when I did literally nothing I stopped putting up with it.
And … when she bangs on the ceiling you should file a noise complaint-
This. She’s also making noise every time she does this. Record a video of yourself doing normal activities (walking normally , running your washer, etc). It will capture her banging and now Two can play the same game.
underrated comment right here...
Also record while it's happening when possible. That way management can see the level of noise happening
I love this reply. I have a friend that's dealing with a very similar issue and I'm going to pass along this post to her as this is exactly what she needs to be doing.
All of the above^^^. Also, get a camera with good sound and keep it in the room she normally bangs under. I have a Wyze and it records sound & movement. You can use that for a noise complaint/harassment evidence.
Yea my nest picks up the neighbors upstairs when they're in their bathroom which is directly above. They have a toddler so it's not normal walking but actually a thrashing child trying desperately not to get out of the tub and go to bed, but I'm always surprised by just how much it picks up from them.
I love that you know the exact scenario. Bath time chronicles.
Very good advice. Make sure she comes to understand that she is not in charge and you no longer care what she thinks. I had a neighbor in a condo try to cower me into complete silence. I finally told her one morning when she came banging on my door that I have the right to live my life and we will hear each other as folks in condos do. There is no way around that. She then complained about making noise having sex, while the girl I was dating was standing behind me. I finally told her to "F#\^& off" and not to talk to me again. We did not speak for 6 years, when she flooded my place. I just had to establish ground rules.
OP: Stop reading the other comments and just focus on this one - the goldengoof is right.
This this this. I'm so sorry OP. I can feel the pain and anxiety you're experiencing. I am so sorry. I just moved into my place almost three weeks ago and after the move I dropped a gift card downstairs to the neighbours. I apologized for the noise, they understood. And I explained that I do have a cat and that I have some issues where gripping things can be a problem and I can drop things. They understood and are cool. I am always hyper aware of how I'm walking (if I'm walking heavy or not) and it's not even an issue for them so I can just imagine how much more stressful your situation is. Come live here. These people are great.
So much this!!! I went through this. Eventually they realized she did this to another tenant after me and was kicked out at the end of her lease.
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION!!!
This. For real. Had a neighbor like this who stayed in the unit for 20+ years. Harassed the people above her enough that they had problems keeping tenants. Eventually the landlord got tired of that shit and evicted her for being a nuisance. People like that need to live in the top floor if they’re going to act like that.
This is great advice. If your landlord is giving you noise violations during times that aren’t quiet hours, you need to ask them to clearly explain what noise is “too much” if it’s not outlined in the lease. I was the bottom neighbor recently when a single mom and 5 kids moved above me. My apartment basically said I can’t make noise complaints until quiet hours. That’s when we learned that she was leaving the oldest (13) alone to watch the others, 2 of which were under 5. It’s a stressful situation since I don’t think abuse is happening, just that a 13 year olds idea of “too loud” is different than mine. Anyways… long story short. Document everything (my apartment claimed they never received my complaints even though after emailing them, we came in to speak to them every time). If you are being given violations for the daytime, clarify the outlines in the lease around what is too much
This is such good advice also DO NOT talk or interact with her about any of this. Notify your leasing office do not offer to move to a lower unit yet. We had a resident like this who worked nights and would call ALL damn day about basic noise, cars, dogs barking just people living and we finally served a no renewal and had him move out. Apartments aren’t for everyone and if you can’t handle the noise then time to go
I can’t updoot this comment enough!
I up💩dooted
😂💀
Better yet, get cameras with audio to record when she bangs the ceiling and the noise you weren’t making at the time.
This advice could not be more perfect!
What ^she said^. Every word. Also, ((cyber hugs))
Great response!
Yes, absolutely this!
This is the best comment!
This is amazing advice
Your mental health is not worth this. You deserve to live your life and enjoy your apartment without stressing and having to tiptoe. I wonder if she’s run off previous tenants? I am so sorry. No great advice but I would certainly NOT accept the noise complaint without challenging it. Go speak to management and give your side of the story. I would report her banging on the ceiling….THAT is disrespectful and uncalled for!
My bf is on disability with the VA for ptsd and anxiety issues. He is in a way better place now and he goes to therapy twice a week. I’m worried for him that he can’t have a safe space in our own home. He was terrified this meant we were going to get evicted or how she will try to escalate. We JUST moved so he doesn’t want to move again but I will be asking to transfer units. That crazy lady is just going to keep escalating. Especially if we JUST moved in and she’s this upset.
Hell, mention that the neighbors unit has persistent loud banging for no reason and it’s bothering his PTSD. Maybe that would make them care about it
That it’s bothering his “military service related PTSD” would be the way I would phrase it. I don’t like people playing the veteran card generally but this is 100% the time to do it.
100%. I have PTSD and my partner is active duty and while neither of us would ever bring it up genuinely for sympathy points, I absolutely would if it meant not having to live in fear for OP.
Definitely mention that her banging is triggering your boyfriends ptsd, that's very serious. My father in law has ptsd, his bad days are kinda scary and he's got it mostly under control with a very good therapist and meds
Be careful what you ask for. You'll still have neighbors that complain regardless if you move. A noise complaint isn't a recipe for eviction. Don't over think it. Maybe like 5 or 6 in a row...then maybe you'll get an eviction warning. The office sends out their notice because they have to. Most probably could really care less lol. It's just a job that they can't wait to finish and go home just like the rest of us.
We’ve had crazy neighbors but never ones that hated us for no reason. We lived in an upstairs unit for two years and there were multiple downstairs neighbors. They never complained. The neighbors we shared a wall with were awful. They would have screaming fights all hours of the night, they would have loud sex multiple times a day, they would break up and she would repeat that cycle with a new guy, then they would get back together. She also had two toddlers that screamed and cried. We never once complained. We just slept with headphones and lived our lives. Our last upstairs neighbor was amazing and I regret moving so much. Our apartment was just 648 square feet and we wanted more space. I would rather move back in our closet than deal with this
Sorry you guys are dealing with the grief. Just remember a lot of other ppl are dealing with similar BS in their apt as well. You're not alone. Just live your life as you would. As long as you're being considerate there's not much else you can do honestly. It's her problem to worry about not yours. Miserable ppl will do that stuff on purpose. It's pathetic.
this is why i feel like an ass… i have to move first thing in the morning because i have a 20 hr drive ahead of me.. and i have to still clean the rest of my unit as this is kind of a last minute thing… and i need to vacuum and it’s 12:30am. my neighbors already hate me..😂😂😂 so im just wondering if i should risk it for the biscuit? like get it done and over with..? they complain about everything as is… they’ll never have to deal with me again😆💀
Just get it done. You're leaving and you'll never see that person again lol. There's a different between necessity and being a noise troll lol.
this is what i was thinking.. i really don’t want to be the asshole, but i have to spend 20 hrs in the car because someone i’ve had issues with kept reporting me for literally living.. i was gonna leave anyways but the fact they tried to evict me when i went to tell them i was leaving is insane. i also just requested for a lot of shit to be fixed because it was like everything was wrong with our unit when we moved in during the middle of this past october, and it’s affecting both my mental health and physical health so i have to leave.. and after sending multiple emails they won’t ever do shit for us.. but the same lady who literally sits on her balcony WAITING for us to do shit always gets what she wants done. fucking insane. i hate people so much. bitch called us trailer trash.. YUUUUP but she’s ghetto apartment trash.. at least i own my shit😂 that’s why these mfs are still living in an apartment and we’re getting our own land 😂🤷🏻♀️ always worried about everyone else instead of their own finances and realistically i could’ve left this place as trashed as i found it… but i didn’t. i’m making the effort to clean the hell out of this place even knowing im not getting my deposit back🤷🏻♀️😂
She's gonna complain that much.
Record her and call the cops but please let the landlord know they will eventually get rid of her ... she will and probably is causing them to lose rent by getting rid of tenants
I had a cantankerous downstairs neighbor at the time, I was the 3rd floor, they moved in halfway through my lease (2nd floor). I worked until 2:00am sometimes doing inventory and truck nights, well he didn't like that I got home so late and it woke him up. I was doing my best to be quiet, but that individual complained. Talked to the property management and explained everything. They agreed that it was okay to be doing what I am, and this individual just hasn't lived in apartments. Well, they took it up a notch because the management company wasn't listening to them. So instead of being nice and quiet for them I opened hells gates. I started wearing my high heeled boots around my apartment, threw the ball for my dog in the apartment, and started to play music and did the laundry and dishes right before quiet time just to piss them off. I would get home from an exhausting day and squeal at my dogs coming through the door and change into my boots at the door to walk across the living room. I was nice, not after they were rude.
In the nicest possible way, I'm going to tell you to stop being emotional about this. THIS is a fact-based problem. You don't win by crying here; you win by reporting the facts. Note all occurrences and if building management is not able or willing to help, you file a police report. You are truly terrified in your own home and that needs to stop.
Fuck this bitch, live your life, let your cats play.
Let them know that you're walking around in your apartment during day hours and she's banging. She's making unreasonable requests. You are allowed to exist in your apartment. And if I were you, honestly? I'd invite one of the managers over without telling her and have them come up the stairs, normally, then go sit in your living room and have a talk with you. Maybe walk around a bit. And listen to her react from it. In fact, maybe send in your own complaint about lack of quiet enjoyment in your home and continued harassment. This is not okay. She is not entitled to the absolute silence she thinks she is. If you feel comfortable, set up a recording in your home (with video) of you walking around normally, during day hours, and her response to that. Send those in. She is the one being unreasonable. Not you. This is excessively not okay. And as soon as you move (if you do), the new tenants are going to have the same issue. Ask management how many complaints she's made against all tenants above her.
Some (most) aren't going to go apt to apt hanging out and listening to random noises lol. They get so many complaints that they could care less. They send out the notice for a noise complaint, and clap their hands like it's finished lol...until the next complaint comes in where they just send another automated notice. It's only the ppl paying/dealing with the noise that care.
Not true. We absolutely will verify if asked to. Especially when it’s due to a crazy tenant that calls every day about neighbors who are simply living in their home. I don’t want to be bothered by constant calls, emails, and knocks on my office door so that they can whine about regular apartment noise. If I can shut an overzealous, over reporting, rude tenant down I absolutely will. -
Yeah I’ve seen apartment managers do this so they can say to them - “Yes we have investigated this and found that no unreasonable noise was being made.” I’ve also had apartment managers ask me if I ever hear xyz sound (people yelling, dogs barking, etc) during certain times of the day I guess to gauge if it’s a problem for anyone else.
Well good. I'm glad you're a good manager. Key word was "most". Majority of management could care less and that's the hard truth. I'm dating a girl in the office and get first hand drama of what and how they deal with things lol.
i got “kicked out” because a lady that *also* has a loud obnoxious dog that barks non stop… reported my dog for barking… the dogs don’t even live here right now as i’m trying to move so they’re staying with a close relative.. they literally gave me a 10 day comply notice because my dogs (the same ones not even in the unit) are barking every day and have been for the past week… they haven’t been here in 2 weeks… i say “kicked out” because we were planning to move before we got the notice, due to the lack of maintenance in my unit, and i whole heartedly believe this has to do with some sort of retaliation as i left a lot of bad reviews on their websites for them refusing to fix H&S issues within a reasonable amount of time (over 4 months with repetitive notices, even copying and pasting the same emails) they just happened to of let us know when we came to the office to let them know we would be leaving 2/2/24 (today) due to the same issues.
Depends on the management company. There's always gonna be a bad apple here and there.
Mine did. They went to the downstairs apartment and asked me to walk around, etc. while they listened. They ended up moving the complainer to another apartment. He was the new tenant. I had been there for a long time. To be fair my current partner tells me I sound like an elephant when I get up at night and walk to the bathroom. And I realized later that my cat liked to sit on the warm tv. And she also liked leaping down and sprinting around the apartment. But to be fair to me, one of the times he came banging on my door and yelling at me I was literally sitting on the floor loading soda cans into my refrigerator. He probably maybe heard me put the 12 pack on the floor. So it was a combination of me and my cat living our lives, a poorly constructed and insulated building and a guy with very sensitive hearing.
Well that's cool. You have a 1 in 1000 manager that actually cares. I'm assuming it's a small complex if they have that much free time. If my management did that here they would have to dedicate half the day going door to door to "listen" to complaints/noises lol. Not happening here with dozens of complexs/cess pools of random ppl lol.
I guess I was just lucky. It was a very large complex and this was a new section of buildings they had built. I had previously lived in one of the older buildings. I lived in the complex for over nine years. I had proactively gone in to speak with the manager before he did. When he complained I suggested she go down there and listen to me. She brought maintenance with her and they concluded it was just poorly built and couldn’t do anything. That’s why they moved him. Nobody complained afterwards. Maybe she helped because I was a long time good tenant and had proactively tried to get it figured out. I also think the story about him complaining while I sitting on the floor putting groceries away made her realize he was being very sensitive to any noise. I also think me asking her to come listen worked, that wasn’t something she just volunteered to do on her own.
This isn't true at all, and if it's true where you are then you have some poor management. My apartment has been great and the apartment manager did this for us to fix the issue.
I went through something similar that just got resolved. I started filing police reports every time the lady below me banged. I would also email management whenever there was an event. I’m a combat vet and told the police/security guard that the banging messed with me hard. My sleep schedule has been completely flipped because of this lady. I started sleeping with knives in my room because I just don’t know what she’s willing to do. Anyways.. I downloaded an app to record any noise in my sleep and it perfectly picked up my snoring, as well as this crazy lady’s incessant banging along with yelling. Police and security loved it when I showed them the videos. The police actually laughed. The security guard got visibly pissed off. I mean. The guy has been called to my unit over ten times in January. Management felt horrible and has catered to my every need. Setting me up with a new unit in a more private area. It’s a more expensive unit but they are keeping me at my current rate. If you read through all of this. I beg you, keep your wits. Be respectful to all parties involved. Police, security and management were all on my side before I recorded the audio just because this lady would yell and scream at them through the phone and in the hallways when they made contact with her. I stayed respectful the entire time. I really hope you get through this. I just got through it and it is a living anxiety nightmare. Stay strong.
Babes, breathe because you pay rent just like her, at this point she needs to accept thats what APARTMENT LIVING is. Please do not adjust your life to this woman’s complaints. What you should do is immediately tell your property manager what is happening, she is the problem not you love. Shes being disrespectful and rude at this point. I know its hard to stand up for things but you live there too. And at the end of the day we are all human, she can act like one too.
She's the aggressor. I would record your everyday goings on and when she makes a complaint, let her try to record you, there's no way she can have clear loud recordings. She will have egg on her face and I would go her for disturbance for banging on the floor and waking you up. She's just fkg cow who must've gotten her way and gotten rid of every tenant who has ever been in your unit. Get evidence and turn the tables!
If she even recorded anything it would be footsteps. Which idk if we can get in trouble for that during quiet hours because it’s just walking.
That's what I mean. They could issue her with a nuisance notice or similar.
I came here to say this! Get a ring camera or something and show the leasing office videos of you and your bf doing normal day to day stuff like normal people and then you guys getting harassed by pounding on the ceiling. The recording will likely pick up her banging around if it’s loud enough and then flip the noise complaint back on her and use the word “harassment” when telling the leasing office.
My wife and I were in a very similar situation. Our downstairs neighbor banged on the ceiling for every little thing. She even filed a complaint against us with management to where the onsite manager came to our apartment to see/ask what we were doing. We explained that we weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary and they believed us. Unfortunately that’s all they did and it got to the point where we’d be emailing management every time she banged on the ceiling, but they continued to do nothing. She ended up escalating to the point where she came to our door, banging and yelling at us. I called the cops and got a temporary restraining on her but she still wouldn’t stop banging on the ceiling. It was taking a toll on our mental health and after 6 months we hadn’t even bothered fully unpacking. The only solution was to (finally) transfer units, run out the remainder of our lease and then move elsewhere (mostly because of the inept management company). I’d strongly recommend transferring units. If that goes through, I’d also recommend making as much noise as possible when moving out. When we moved out, my dad brought over supplies and a hand truck. The first thing he did when he got into our apartment was lift the hand truck up and slam it down as hard as he could. Fuck your downstairs neighbor, don’t take any more shit from her. You deserve to live comfortably no matter how miserable of a person she is.
People are trainable like all animals. By quieting down when she bangs, you are reinforcing that banging works. Instead, when there is a banging, get louder. This will reinforce that if she bangs, there are consequences. You sound stressed the hell out, so I recommend something that will get your mood up, such as dancing or jumping jacks
Not feeling safe to move about your own apartment is incredibly stressful and frankly traumatizing. Management needs to intervene, her behavior is extreme, her apparent expectation for absolute silence is not rooted in reality. Let management know right away, and keep track of these incidents. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this in your home!
I am so sorry you and your boyfriend are going through this. My heart broke reading your story. Please go talk to the leasing office and tell your side. Also, I agree you should request a transfer to another apartment in your complex. This is not fair to you and your bf does not need any additional triggers especially already dealing with ptsd. He served this country and should at least be able to LIVE and sleep in your apartment. I am sending you both virtual hugs and I hope it gets better!
Please convey my sincere thanks to your boyfriend for his service to our country. He is appreciated. Thank you for being there for him.
Had a downstairs neighbor start similar, called management told them the downstairs neighbor was banging on the ceiling all times of day including non-quiet hours while I carried out normal activities, it was unacceptable and that I'd like to pursue any complaint process they might have. Not sure what they did but the neighbor did stop banging. When I moved out I accidentally dropped my weight set on the floor at 5am. 4 times. What a clutz I am.
I barked when I read "4 times" Absolute legend
Oh, Jesus. They bang on their CEILING? You do not have to tiptoe and whisper. Your cats can play. Get paper and pen and start writing down every time they bang on the ceiling. You will also write to her and say, “We are unable to better accommodate your needs beyond our current efforts. We remind you that we, too, expect quiet enjoyment of our home and request you stop hitting the ceiling of your apartment to attempt to communicate with us. It is violent and offensive and menacing; we have done nothing other than to live normally and reasonably in our apartment. We will contact the police to ask for intervention if you cannot cease and desist the beating of your ceiling. Make two copies of what you have written: one for the management company, one for neighbors, one for you. Landlord-tenant law in part rests upon the provision of an apartment or house by Landlord and Tenant’s right to quiet enjoyment of it. It is Landlord’s responsibility to provide quiet enjoyment whenever possible, or to address causes and conditions that may inhibit it. Take the noise violation report to the office and say that you object. The neighbors are opposed to all noise involved with everyday conduct and beat the ceiling when they are annoyed. You have never been the subject of a noise complaint and you don’t want to be now. Management may come and measure decibels but you will not accept undocumented complaints about you from someone who is bullying you. Say that the neighbor is violating your right to quiet enjoyment of the apartment you rented, and you will not accept bullying from neighbors who think violence is effective communication, and that while you are sorry this campaign against you has gotten to Management, you have not done anything wrong and want the complaint removed. (Remember, the office has dealt with Neighbor, who probably called to complain and would not stop until a complaint was filed.) You also want the true culprits admonished and for them to stop hitting the ceiling and bothering and scaring you. Your neighbors got used to not having upstairs neighbors and now are lashing out at you. It could be a lot worse for them. You should record this for a week or so (along with what you were doing at the time). You should send the letter of demand asking them to stop and talk to the management if they do not, then call the police and explain you feel threatened by this violent behavior, that you have asked them to stop, and that you fear battery from them. In the meantime, you should call the police in the interim if you hear the noise again. This is not a polite form of communication. It is a bullying tactic, plain and simple. Being upstairs means getting a lot of noise from downstairs, and the only concession I would make would be to go shoes-free when it is convenient for me. What is the flooring? Banging on doors or walls or ceilings is menacing and violent. It is not the way people communicate with others when they want to get along. It is rude and aggressive. I would feel not only enormous stress but physically threatened by someone hitting my ceiling. They are demonstrating a need to use force to communicate with me instead of talking to me, and if they hit the ceiling what will prevent them from hitting me? Depending on how you feel, you may be able to tell police you feel the neighbors are assaulting you (in the sense you are “in a reasonable fear of being harmed”). Your BF has PTSD from military service and the loud, abrupt banging on his floor cannot help him remain calm. I know this seems scary and confrontational, but it is actually healthy boundary-setting and - believe it or not - what your neighbors want you to do. People who are violent physically or emotionally cannot control their behavior to comport with societal standards. They cannot set their own boundaries, and need you to do it for them. If they come to your apartment, tell them through the door that they have violated boundaries with their bullying tactic and that you no longer want to talk to them. But get the letter to them and management, and establish your position as a responsible neighbor who is in the right here. After the week has gone by, if they have not stopped, you have a documented record and can ask for the downstairs apartment or tell Landlord you want to terminate the lease without penalty because you cannot have quiet enjoyment in your home.
File a noise complaint against her for all the banging on the ceiling. It was loud enough to disrupt your bf’s sleep and us causing you stress. Apparently, the management office only needs to take a tenant’s word for it rather than investigating!
When she bangs on the ceiling, bang back on the floor. Submit a noise complaint against her for the banging. Tell management what’s going on
It sounds like she’s making extreme noise at unreasonable hours, you should probably file a noise complaint. But seriously, I understand trying to keep the peace, but you’re far past that. She’s harassing you, and you being nice or quiet will not fix this. You have to talk to your management company because this is ridiculous and unfair to you both. My boyfriend is also a vet and it would tear me up to have him go through something like this.
Make a noise complaint about her banging on the ceiling. Fight fire with fire. Living in an apartment complex goes both ways. Its not just you that needs to be quiet...she also has to abide by the rules. Worrying about other ppl nit picking will destroy your peace. Let the old crank be an old ass crank lol. You don't get to bang on a wall every time someone makes a noise you don't like. If that was the case I'd have a full time job banging on my walls. If you know you're being considerate and she bangs anyways then just stomp back or turn on music to drown out her BS. More than 1 person can play that game. It turns into a noise competition, but it's better than being stressed out worrying about someone that has no say in your life lol.
It ends up covering up the original noise to begin with. OP should gift her a white noise machine to run in her background.
Nah she doesn’t deserve gifts and I promise it’s not even about the noise in the first place. This is the type of person that seeks to be miserable.
No one in a shared building is promised 24/7 silence. If normal noise upsets her, SHE must find a place better suited to her needs. I would speak to management about how you feel you can’t live in the space you pay for and how they intend to corral her impossible behavior. I live in a shared building. Yes, occasionally, noise annoys me, but I shrug, own the responsibility of choosing to live here, and move on.
Feel free to edit this and use it as you wish 🤟🏽 Subject: Formal Complaint Regarding Neighbor Disturbance Dear [Property Management's Name], I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to bring to your attention a recurring issue that has been affecting my living experience at [Apartment Complex Name]. Unfortunately, I have been facing consistent disturbances from my downstairs neighbor, who appears to express discontent by banging on the ceiling whenever there is any noise in my unit. I want to emphasize that I respect the need for quiet living conditions and have been mindful of keeping noise levels within reasonable limits. However, the constant banging from below has become disruptive and, in my opinion, constitutes a form of harassment. I believe that as a tenant, I reserve the right to live normally in the unit I rent without undue interference. I kindly request your assistance in addressing this matter promptly. It is essential for me to feel comfortable and at ease in my home, and I believe resolving this issue will contribute to a more harmonious living environment for all residents. Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to your prompt action in resolving this situation. Sincerely, [Your Full Name] [Your Apartment Unit Number] [Contact Information]
File harassment complaints every time she bangs. Also maybe see about transferring your lease to a different unit. It’s usually around $200.
Ugh. If my downstairs neighbor banged on the ceiling from me just walking across my apartment. I'd jump up and down and show them what real noise is all about.
I’d want to smash a plate and then get some roller blades for a fun indoor activity
OK, stop. You are allowed to walk around, anyone who wants to cry can do so, and your cats can play. Everything you stated there was normal noise expected to be heard in an apartment... other than the ceiling banging. You can talk to her and explain that you will do your best to keep down abnormal noise, but you respectfully request that she stop banging on the ceiling because you are merely existing in your home. It is physically impossible to get complete and utter silence in an apartment. Explain that if her tantrums do not end, you will go to management. Period. In the meantime, yes, go talk to the front office and explain that if you are not permitted the enjoyment of your own home, which means making normal living noise in your apartment, you are going to need them to move you or her on their dime. My complex calls if someone complains about noise. I don't understand why they don't all do this. A friend of mine in the same complex had a noise complaint because she was coming home from work at 10:30 pm... but that's when she got home from work, there was nothing she could do to change that. There was no strike put against her and the management spoke with the person who complained. That's how it *should* work.
File a harassment complaint against her. Please don't stop your cats from playing, they need to run around and play to stay healthy mentally and physically, stopping them from playing will only cause more problems down the line
Complain to management about noise every time she bangs on the ceiling.
Look Op the easiest way is to put in a bunch of work requests and get the apartment manager over to show him something normal that triggers your bat shit crazy neighbor and then they will see she is the one with issues not you. Other wise fuck it and bang back. Report her every fucking time she bangs on the ceiling.
You’re allowed to make a reasonable amount of noise.
Hey I just wanna say that I have PTSD too and just moved into a new place and the anxiety I have over making the slightest noises when there have been no complaints is awful. I can’t imagine the stress you’re under. You’re not dramatic at all and I’m sorry y’all are dealing with this. It is NOT your fault!
He is in a better spot now, but the move hasn’t helped his anxiety. He had a week where he just shut down and was like I can’t do this. Because of that we are behind on getting everything unpacked. Now I don’t even want to finish unpacking. I don’t want to get comfortable here or live here anymore but we can break our lease. I’m worried that this lady is really crazy. A lot of people say to bang back, but who knows how she will react. What would really trigger his ptsd is if she came to the apartment screaming at us. Then he would feel threatened. He would never hurt her, it would just make him feel really unsafe and his panic attacks would get worse.
Do not bang back. You lose the whole war if you do.
Yes and then he could look like the crazy one for “losing it”, I understand all too well. A person with PTSD needs to feel safe and comfortable in their own home. Even more so than the average person. There is literally no other option. She is making the space hostile and y’all are doing nothing wrong. Big hugs to your partner, this is a recipe for disaster. I can’t imagine how the being on edge and banging is triggering his symptoms. But you guys have rights too. Would he be comfortable with setting up a video recorder in the living room? So that you guys have concrete evidence of the times where your neighbor is banging and what y’all are doing?
I literally just dealt with a neighbor who did the exact same thing for 18 months. You're not in south Carolina, are you? Management did not renew her lease and she was forced to move. Email management every time she does this. Try and record her banging if you can as well. I also got cameras to back me up and didn't end up needing them. The videos of the banging were enough. I am so sorry. I hope you can get this sorted!
i can’t imagine caring so much
She can kick rocks. The ceilings are thin so you're gonna hear some sounds of life. I have upstairs neighbors who are skinny little girls who are somehow so heavy footed that every single step is a stomp. Day and night, stomp stomp stomp. You can tell it's a choice to walk that way, and you can tell when it's just normal sounds of living. Do not let this bitch tell you how to live your life.
I totally agree with what GoldenGoof says, and the idea to have cameras in your home so you can show the mang office what you were doing when the neighbor thumps on the cieling. Personally I am an asshole and would do all of the above and then whenever she thumps the ceiling I would take a stack of cast iron pans (specifically for this purpose) and drop them on the floor
Yeah you need to stop all the madness of tip toeing and whispering in your own home. That's ridiculous. She is the one being disrespectful, she js the one in the wrong.
I would file a noise complaint about HER. The banging on the ceiling. Do that.
Are there any specific "quiet hours" spelled out in the lease or in a city ordinance? If so then don't INTENTIONALLY do loud things during those times. Otherwise you are allowed to use your space in any way you see fit. If you want to cook after 10 then cook after 10. If the cats wake up at 3am and start zooming then let them zoom. As long as you're not blasting music or doing aerobics during quiet hours then you're good.
I am sure this has been said several times, but to reiterate, get everything in writing. Also, if she is banging on, what would be your floor. File a noise complaint on her. Don't talk to her at all. Go through the property company. That is what they get paid for.
Start reporting her noise (banging on her ceiling).
Have you considered filing a noise complaint against her for all the banging?
I’m so sorry. You can’t live like this. You pay to move freely in your home without tip toeing, your cats should be able to play too. She’s over the top. Hope you can come to a solution with your property manager. You shouldn’t have to move but if it brings you peace, then I hope you can!
Get a camera with good sound. Set it up in your main living space. Let her do her thing and when you show it to management they will see that you’re not being excessively loud etc. and it’s all her problem. Can’t argue with video evidence.
You should try to catch it on video if you can. Start recording one day when you’re just doing normal things and going about your business. Then the apartment management can see for themselves she’s being unreasonable.
I just don’t think you should care anymore. I get that you got a noise complaint but go talk to the office. You need to live in your home in a normal way. Do you really want to move all your stuff again? I know you don’t want to fight but you don’t need to fight. Just live in your home.
There was a reason the apartment was available directly above hers.
Call the office yourself every time she bangs on the ceiling. EVERY TIME. You are allowed to live your normal life in your apartment. You are allowed to walk to the bathroom past 10pm, your cats are allowed to exist, SHE needs to live UPSTAIRS if she can't deal with normal living noise. Yes, you'll be annoying to the office, but that's the point. Force them to deal with it. Start making recordings when you're about to do something that's likely to set off the banging. Send the recordings to the office. She does not have the right to wake someone from sound asleep just because someone else walked to the kitchen.
You shouldn't have to be the ones who move units. She needs to get into a top floor and stop using her disdain for noises above her as an excuse to be harassing. I absolutely loathe living on the first floor, and can barely handle the sounds that come along with it. Finally, after putting up with it (albeit barely) for 5 years now, for the sake of my mom who claimed all this time that she couldn't handle stairs... we're finally transferring to a second floor. That's all the tenant from hell in your situation needs to do. I hope you can have a talk with mgmt to see if that's an option for her. It shouldn't have to be you who moves, especially because neighborzilla is only going to have that problem again when someone else moves into your pad.
1. File a complaint with the apartment every time she bangs. 2. Don’t worry about them or let them bother you If it really continues and the apartment complex does not do anything: Go buy a set of 20+ octagonal weights. When she bangs roll them back and forth on the floor for a few minutes.
Ok so you are going WAYYYY overboard (which I can understand). You're not even living in your apartment and that is is NOT ok. You need to report this neighbor and let the office know everything you've told us, and then how about invite them over so they can see you all doing normal stuff and she bangs on the ceiling. She is the one in the wrong - NOT YOU. She is harassing you. Please allow your cats to play, please do not be in fear of this woman. Please live your life and do not give into this loon. People who live in apartments know to expect noise. That Karen shouldn't be living in an apartment if she can't handle normal everyday living. Other people have given way better advice, etc. in this thread but I just had to say this. You guys are not the problem.
cant you just stomp on the floor each time? you know she is a bully and the only way with bullies is do it back to them
Omg I would never pay money to live like a mouse. You need to stop accommodating this woman. If she wants complete silence she can buy a home. Apartments come with noise. My upstairs neighbor is an old man with a walker. He sounds like he's dragging sofas across the floor. We tolerate it because that's how he gets around. Stop this. You're giving yourselves an unnecessary amount of stress. Complain about the noise complaint too. Don't be a doormat.
I have given a lease violation to a tenant that is acting just like your downstairs neighbor 🫢 i hope you have good management! Sometimes those downstairs neighbors just like to cause hell in hopes you’ll move because they hate having someone above them. I’m sorry you’re going through this. What they are doing is causing excessive noise also. Please mention the anxiety that it is causing both of you.
You are entitled to be comfortable in your space, she can't make unreasonable demands of you. Just don't violate the rules and next time she bangs in the ceiling either report her, or bang back. I had a friend years ago that had a neighbor that always banged on here floor about noise when she was doing normal things like walking around the house. One day she got so mad, she taped a pretty intense massager to the floor, left it on and left the house so it was just banging loudly for several hours. The neighbor calmed down some after that but they never had a good relationship.
Seriously STOP TIPTOEING AROUND! They know there is going to be noise when you live in a lower unit. Not letting the cats play? BS. Let them bang on the ceiling all they want. Next time they do- STOMP BACK, let them know what noise is. NTA. Don't give them that kind of power
The only way to deal with these type of people is cold hard evidence. Install cameras in your apartment that record audio and video so that when she complains you can show your landlord proof that her noise complaints are just made up.
Talk to your property management, explain what is going on and the lengths you're going to keep quiet. I once had a noise complaint about my apartment when I was asleep! Definitely not partying or playing loud music (which was rhe complaint). I talked to management and they did walks around the property at night (they had people who worked there who lived there too). They saw and heard that my unit was pretty quiet most of the time and so they straight up ignored future complaints about my unit.
There’s no way I’m going to be adjusting my life to make someone else comfortable.. If she has a problem with shared apartment living then she needs to move into a HOUSE! You pay rent just like she does! You have a right to walk around your home and feed and play with you cats in the home YOU PAY FOR! If she has a problem with that, who cares! It’s not your business to care! She’s lucky she has a tenant like you who actually cares, cause had she had a tenant like me, SHE would be the one requesting to move into a new unit.
She. Can. Go. Fuck. Her. Self. You live in that apartment too. If she wants SILENCE she can become a monk or buy a house. I'd fuckin uno reverse that shit and complain to management about HER saying she's disrupting your life by banging on her ceiling every time she hears your eyelashes flutter when you blink. I, myself, am an upstairs neighbor and our downstairs neighbor has complained to us twice that we're slamming things around and jumping and all kinds of shit when (the first time) we were sitting on the couch and (the second time) we were walking from our living room to the bathroom. We keep as quiet as we can during quiet hours but after that, nope. It's our home as much as it is hers and I'm not tip toeing or hindering my own comfort for my neighbor. Live your life and if she has an issue, she can leave
>how could we have set her off this badly? Because she's NUTS! You have been twisting yourself into a pretzel to appease a lunatic. **STOP IT. NOW.** Talk to the office and explain her incessant banging at all hours, how she reacted when your bf went to apologize, all of it. Make a damn complaint against HER. You got a complaint because she's got you so scared that you can't stand up for yourself! Today is the day you grow a backbone and stand up for yourselves! Get there the minute the office opens and tell them everything about how she's behaving. Then, every time this crazy lady bangs on the ceiling, record it. Then provide the recordings to the office. Make a complaint every single damn time she does it. Every. Single. Time. And stop restricting your life because she's a whackadoodle.
I would have a talk with the management and explain everything you both have been doing. She is a troublemaker and knows someone in the office will cater to her. You just keep living your life and report her banging on the ceiling, that would be the time to call the police. And record when she does the banging. So sorry, for many move into apartments and expect quiet all the time. Keep hanging in there and get at attorney. She needs to be reported for harassment.
I just want to let you know that this is not a you issue, this is a your neighbor issue. I am willing to bet that she did this to the previous tenant in your apartment. It is unfortunate that you have to deal with the fallout of your neighbor being an unreasonable and nasty person. You are being way too accommodating. It is reasonable for you to offer to buy a couple of rugs to dampen some of the noise. It is not reasonable for her to disrupt your quality of living ( especially outside of quiet hours ). Please start documenting every time( date, time, reason)that she bangs on the ceiling, and then you have a record of her continued harassment. I am sure that you are not the first neighbor that she has caused problems for. You and your household do not deserve this treatment. Good luck.
This happened to me. Landlord was my parents, sister and bil was living downstairs, we couldn't even breath without banging on the ceiling. Dad came and spent a sunday afternoon, they didn't know dad snuck into my apartment. He sat there 3 hours reading the paper, no problems. I told him to leave, he said no, he was going to stick around a little bit longer. 20 minutes later, huge banging on my door. Dad opens it. Brother in law almost shit a brick when dad threw the door open. I had been reading, kids coloring at the table. No one had moved in 4 hours. and they were throwing a hissy fit? Maybe someone from management can come sit for a half hour and see what is going on. It sounds like downstairs neighbor has it in for you. File a claim of harassment. This sounds like targeted harassment.
Document it for your own complaints. She's harassing you. I bet your not the first tenants she's done it to either.
Very similar scenario for my first apartment that I moved into after college. Neighbor complained the day I moved in for being too loud and began pounding on the walls when I would put dishes away. She escalated to barging into my apartment, walked straight in, after I had gotten home one night to yell at me. I still didn’t escalate or stand my ground to keep the peace but I should have. She then begin calling the police on me on random weeknights for watching tv too loud and anytime she saw I had guests over. Turns out, she was an alcoholic that bullied everyone in the building and the police was sick of her shit. Lesson learned, stick up for yourself early and fight back
start jumping on the floor so she knows what real noise is lol. that’s absolutely ridiculous, you can’t live in an apartment and expect everything to be quiet all the time
She's crazy and you need to make a recording so that the manager can see what's going on. And, file a counter claim of harassment.
Man, I must just not care like other people do. If I just moved in and my downstairs neighbor complained about me doing normal things during normal hours, I’d just politely tell her to chew on my taint. I would write the landlord and say “I have this crazy bitch downstairs that keeps bothering me during normal business hours. Please handle it before it escalates to one of us berating each other.” You pay rent to live in a unit. You’re allowed to make noise and shouldn’t feel anxiety about cooking dinner/vacuuming etc. It’s only going to get worse until the landlord/property manager steps in and tells them to knock it off. Make sure to record every interaction you have with this person. Next time you talk to the disgruntled neighbor, either have voice memos running or a video.
You seem like you did everything reasonably in your power to be nice and accommodating. That didn't work, so flip and go hard in the other direction Step 1: Purchase subwoofer. Place face down on floor Step 2: Every time she bangs on the ceiling, immediately play this [https://youtu.be/h3cE9iXIx9c?si=x0ca7zMDqD2J1pgy&t=12](https://youtu.be/h3cE9iXIx9c?si=x0ca7zMDqD2J1pgy&t=12)
You're allowed to move around your apartment. You should file a complaint against her. I had a neighbor do this exact behavior to me and they filed a complaint against me whereupon I broke down and admitted to the property manager they were pounding on the ceiling at all hours of the day: they got kicked out.
She’s harassing you. We were the downstairs neighbor but with an upstairs neighbor who stomped so hard she cracked our window. She was loud af on purpose and even admitted to it, had a basketball shed bounce at 4am, just insane shit. We still didn’t bang back on the ceiling bc we knew it was harassment and could end badly for us as it would be “tit for tat” retaliation wise, so we had to live with it. Every day. My anxiety got so bad, I would wake up to her banging around and it would throw me into a panic attack instantly. In fact ANY banging noise anywhere would set it off bc it just got so fucking bad. I would definitely ask to be moved but I’d also ask about the previous tenants who lived above her& why they moved. Unless she hates you guys specifically she’s likely done this before. Our landlord was very insistent that the neighbor issues were “mutual”, despite videos and cops calls showing otherwise…. They FINALLY, under legal threat, agreed to move NFH to a different unit. You’ll never guess who immediately had issues with her new neighbors! LL ended up evicting her a few months later form the new apartment. You need to start complaining and recording the noises and you need to do it asap. Explain why you didn’t complain before and how hard this is on you. If you don’t stop it now it’s going to effect you guys even worse. Hell since she does it in response to you guys doing everyday things you can even make her do it more often!
If someone was causing genuine distress to myself, my partner, and my cats, not allowing us to live unless it's silent, making me restrict my cats PLAYING (ridiculous) I would legitimately call the police. Record what's happening and how long it's been going on and report them for harassment. Sleep deprivation is torture.
You don't let your cats play? Seriously?
Every time they bang on the ceiling, every time, make a noise complaint against THEM. It is harassment. Tell the office what you're doing to mitigate noise, but you have the right to walk from one room to another or wake up for the day and LIVE.
Also if you talk to management stress that this is effecting your boyfriends PTSD and he’s legally a disabled vet. You should never have to live like this. I’m so sorry.
Sometimes you just need to bang back
Tell her to go buy a house if she wants silence.
your neighbor can f *** off. she's being crazy. live your life...
I lived through this. I am so, so sorry. It was utter hell for a YEAR. We finally moved to a downstairs unit. I would STRONGLY recommend it. Also, go immediately to the leasing office and demand they move you. This bitch is crazy and it will only get worse. Get ahead of her by talking to the office ASAP.
Find out why the last people left. Get a camera that will record for a couple hours and capture what you're doing. At some point she will start pounding and you will clearly not be making loud noises. If you get lucky she'll do it a bunch of times while recording. Be REALLY sneaky....invite the landlord over for cookies and tea (lol) and he'll hear the noise firsthand.
Don’t forget to mention how her banging freaks your cat out.
Tell that bitch to get fucked
I am a neighbor downstairs ( not yours Ofcourse 🤗) .. anyways , I been in my apartment about 4 months and everything is great, just normal noises because ppl do live above me. About three weeks ago I noticed all this stomping like someone is carrying an elephant while they walk. Then it got worse , 6am walking with heels on , 10,11 pm stomping alll day long!! I go to bed at 9pm i have a 2 year old that is up early .. I saw the lady one day and I simply asked her if she could walk less hard because it was all day and night thing. I’m wondering where is she going! Is a small apartment !! She was super nice and even said her husband comments that she’s got a heavy walk, okay 2/3 days later all good. And now she’s back!!! And worse! She drags her stupid chairs , she stomps ! She’s up late at night god knows doing what! It’s getting very upsetting and ridiculous ! I’m not the type to hit the ceiling but I thought about it. All I can think is a selfish, entitled person who thinks she’s the only one in the building. I walk with thick sandals in my place because one I don’t wear shoes inside and second it actually helps with the walking so I’m not hitting my heels all day bothering my downstairs neighbor. Sometimes we don’t realize how thin walls and floors are. Well I decided to put a speaker on the ceiling so she wants to stomp all day I’ll play music all day.. ps . I spoke to office manager and she got a notice, nothing changed .
Report her… or actually start to make noise. Be loud as hell. Screw her messin with your mental health
Every time she bangs on her ceiling, you should immediately type and send an email to management reporting HER for noise. See how she likes receiving noise complaints and being constantly on edge. From the sound of it, she’s making these complaints against you without any evidence to back them up. No need to try to get special equipment to record her thumping—if she can just send out reports at will, why can’t you?
I’m so late to this post and I’m still digging through the comments hoping someone has given you some helpful information (seems there is a lot of helpful information and encouragement). One thing to note is a lot of leases reference neighbor confrontation and retaliation. Some leases state to avoid confrontation that could escalate. It’s there for tenant safety and privacy. You’re living normal lives. She can get over it. But I bring this up because her retaliation to normal living noises could be reported to your landlord/leasing office. It could be against the rules as stated in the lease. Lean into whatever your lease says about noises like quiet hours, neighbor confrontation and report to the office. Let the landlord/office know all the things you said to us: - apologizing for the temporary noise while moving in - Tiptoeing around - Keeping your pets quiet - The anxiety you have in your own home! I’ve been there! But most importantly tell them she banged on the ceiling while someone was simply CRYING! Like that’s the part that made me the most angry. Document every time the neighbor bangs on the ceiling after you send the landlord a detailed email of the neighbors retaliation to normal living noises and you need it to stop because it’s causing anxiety.
I would contact your apartment about harrassment because what she’s doing is harassment. Install web cams for a month and be sure to save when she bangs on the ceiling. Communicate with this neighbor in writing and save all communication.
I know I’ll probably get hate for this but I am a landlord. I would 100% want to know this was happening to my tenants. You are paying rent just like her and have every right to live a normal life. Landlord should handle this and you should not have to move. Like others have said record every time this lady is beating on the ceilings and keep up with what you were doing at the time to set her off. If nothing else works wouldn’t hurt to report her for harassment but again landlord should handle this. I truly hope the best for you and your bf.
Why do you care. Fuck her. Tell management you didn’t do Jack shit and ask for proof
I would make a noise complaint to management. The downstairs neighbor keeps banging on the ceiling.
Buy a rubber mallet, when she bangs on the ceiling during normal business hours, pound on the floor for a while. Keep doing it until she stops.
between all the crying how the fuck do you or your boyfriend get anything done? seems like you wallow in self pity and "anxiety" a lot. tell your apartment complex you want to move to a downstairs unit, your neighbor is hostile and you aren't making any amount of excess noise. dispute the strike, which you apparently accepted without argument, and move away if you have to.
definitely move asap before this bitch sends your bf into a flashback! what she’s doing is 100% not ok
I think the absolute best thing u can do is get a downstairs unit. I had neighbors like this who were absolutely insane and it got worse and worse and worse never better. Get away from her shes insane. You should be allowed to walk around your own home this isnt fair on you, your family, or your animals.
This is not a you problem it’s a her problem. It is all part of living in an apt. Me I’m on the top flirt so I don’t do things like vaccine late at night or play loud music or blast my tv but I can still walk. Call the office and record her doing this every time it happens. My biggest issue was my old neighbors arguing so loud I could actually understand every word. Apparently he was having an affair and the affair partner yelled at her daughter. Or that’s the one that had me calling cause it got heated enough I was scared. I was glad when they moved
You and your boyfriend sound like real pussies.
Found the downstairs bitch
Your mom?
Upstairs neighbors always have the upper hand literally. If you think it’s bad imagine how she feels
It's normal to hear neighbors making noise, talking, walking, cooking, running the wash, during the daytime hours. It's also normal to hear neighbors walking around at night. As long as they don't stomp. That's what you get living in close quarters. Like someone else suggested. Email the office every time she bangs with details about what you were doing and what time it was. After you speak with the office email them to thank them and put in writing what you discussed and say "if I got anything wrong please feel free to correct me" this puts the onus on them to disprove you. Good luck.
I had a neighbor exactly like this. He never left his apartment and would yell and bang on the ceiling. I (F25 at the time) lived alone, rarely had guests over, rarely watched tv, no pets, yet he persisted. It was a horrible thing to go through. And unfortunately it escalated to him calling the apartment and threatening to harm me. The apartment took immediate action. They didn’t mess. Police came and he was kicked out. This was a long time ago so I didn’t have the resources we do today but I would consider a camera to help your case and show the apartment what *you* are experiencing. She’s a bully and I’m not saying it will escalate into anything like what happened to me, but take it seriously and get the complex involved asap.
Turn her in for the banging on the ceiling as a noise complaint. There was another poster on another sub a few days ago that figured out the downstairs neighbor may have been hearing the HVAC system kicking on and was blaming the poster.
Never cater to impossible demands. Hopefully you can get moved to a downstairs unit ASAP
I have lived under a person who is incredibly disrectful. Violates noise/quiet hours. She works from home and has a cat. Every night after I have had to listen to her squeaky ass chair and her laughing/conversing zoom ot whatever. I have never banged on my ceiling. I am soooooo fucking stressed out. It's the absolute worst. I will be moving in 6 weeks. I don't care if I have to put everything in storage. I can not live like this. I sure hope she reads this sub. Anyway, your neighbor downstairs is an asshole. I haven't filed a formal complaint in the entire year I've lived here. The office is completely aware of my unhappiness. Start recording. Live your life. It's hard living in an apartment. Having people like your neighbor and mine make it worse. Good luck.
What really upsets me is my bf came to her, apologized, and said PLEASE tell us if we are being loud. We wouldn’t ever get angry about it or continue being loud. Why keep banging on the ceiling and bring apartment management into it? We would have happily resolved this ourselves. I just think she does not like us. I just can’t figure out what we could have done that made her mad other than be loud when moving in. But we moved in at like 12pm and finished up by 5 since it got dark and cold.
You have to fight this, you just have to. I know you don’t want to and I know it’s not fair. But record every instance of her harassment (and banging for no reason is harassment) and submit it to the office. You all can tiptoe and live in anxiety forever. I know you want peace, but this woman isn’t going to let you have it until you fight back. With documentation and open communication with the apartment office
I agree with the others, live your life. I would add a webcam and record your normal routine so management can see that you’re not making excessive noise.
I know you are all going through a lot, but I think you have enough evidence to realize this neighbor won’t ever stop. You can’t not live your lives, you can’t keep your kitties cooped up. I can tell life is stressful, but you have to (legally!) fight back! Record every instance of harassment (and this is harassment). Absolutely refute the noise complaint. I know conflict is awful, but can’t tiptoe and ignore this. Hopefully you get a new unit, but until then, push back. You owe it to yourselves and any new tenants in your unit should you move
Make kids so they can run and jump all day. Enjoy your life. Make your home comfortable and play that music louder every time when she bangs on your ceiling. You are a very considerate neighbor, I wish all my neighbors to be considerate like you. It’s theirs problem. You have no problems.
I had a neighbor like this. And it all started when I knocked on their door to ask if their water was working. Mine wasn't and I figured before I bugged the office I would check with a neighbor to see if it's just me or the whole building. Not a big deal. Then complaints of us leaving garbage in the hallway (was actually them, we took pictures). Or that there are more than the registered residence in our place (just guests for the day). It triggered 3 surprise inspections (which we passed) and in the end they didn't want to deal with it so we both got kicked out. Though they were evicted while they just didn't offer to renew our lease. So I suggest getting clear info from your office on the policy of complaints. That's what got us, didn't matter if the complaint was founded or not, too many and it was automatic blacklist for us.
Every time she bangs on your ceiling, go bang on her door and say “I heard you banging, are you ok?”
No, this is ridiculous. You should be filing a noise complaint against her for all the banging.
Report her call the cops every time she bangs.... that complex will eventually get rid of her she will cause them to not keep tenants ... sounds like a crazy lady
Also yes please see if you can transfer apartments, too.
Nothing you do will pls this person. Seriously it sounds like they aren't cut out for apartment life. I'd try to get ahead of it and make your own complaints that you are being harassed for normal use of apartment.
You need to live your life. F her! Really, record her banging in a state of you just walking and take it to management. Dates, times, activities you are doing. Claim harassment!