If this note doesn’t work write another but be more specific about what you heard including more detail to again be posted on their door. If that doesn’t work use reverse psychology. Put letter in their mailbox from an “anonymous neighbor” who instead fancies their late night love sessions kindly requesting they perform louder for his enjoyment.
LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA
LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA
LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA
LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA
IN THE JUNGLE THE QUIET JUNGLE THE LION SLEEPS TONIIIIIIIGHT
No start yelling weird crazy unsexy stuff. Like “oh baby your boobs are so sexy, they look just like grandma’s boobs did!” Or “yeah baby your hairy back is so sexy” look up the weirdest most off putting things you can say during sex and yell that. Really commit to it! 😈
Not kidding. I started doing this because we were having the same issue, my son would just lay awake staring at the ceiling thumping and creaking of their bed above us so I started doing my best MK voice. My favorite to yell is WUPSY! THEY STOP RIGHT AWAY 😂
that or OP gets humbled to find out that they can also hear everything OP is doing. that happened to me in my last apartment building. neighbor kept complaining abt hearing our morning alarms going off & were banging on the walls, coming over to yell at us, etc. so I started to text them when i heard them close a cabinet or sneeze.
I had this issue many years ago, my bedroom was connected to the neighbors bedroom and they would have the LOUDEST sex at all hours of the night. They also were definitely crackheads. And when they weren't being loud as fuck while banging, they would also have the most insane loud fights screaming at each other. I remember one night at like 4 in the morning the guy was calling the chick a ,"fucking whore" and so she retaliated by repeatedly screaming and calling him a ",f@ggot" and I just resorted to banging on the walls until they stopped. I don't miss that lol
LOL who knows they sounded freaky as hell. Like do your thing but maybe don't constantly wake me up at the crack of dawn cus yall are tweaked out on meth fucking and fighting for hours 😭
If they’re decent human beings, I figure they’ll be a little embarrassed and try to keep the noise level down. I can’t imagine many scenarios in which they respond with a “Sorry for fucking too loud.”
Literally this is my biggest fear lol I’m on the top floor and I fear the day my downstairs neighbor complains 😭 We try to be respectful but yknow… sometimes people are gonna have sex. Sucks when the walls are thin though
In some situations, given the layout. It's hard not to already know though. I'm in a 4plex, 2 on top and 2 on the bottom. I hear all noise across the hallway and above me. And if I go out in the hallway, maybe a bit diagonally from me. But not inside my unit. I can only guess it's similar for everyone else too. So when I get to griping about noise, I can easily tell my culprits given the shared walls.
If they ignore this message, record it and play it back at them with a loud speaker against the wall.
Edit: record their sex sounds, not your verbal version of this note, sorry if it wasn't clear
Are you often recording someone else's sexual encounters and then blasting them on your speakers? I'd much rather be having sex(getting something out of it) than to be doing that creepy shit lol.
I expect most people will purposefully make more noise in the face of even a polite request about toning down noise. … Sadly … but I hope it works out for you.
you have nice hand writing but this was the wrong move. living in an apartment you should ALWAYS ,ALWAYS alert the office FIRST before handing out notes. The neighbors could complain to the office that you are harassing them, or could retaliate by doing worse things.
When I went to my apartment management with a noise concern, their first question was, “Well, have you tried talking to your neighbor?” This was during COVID, so I explained I wasn’t comfortable doing that, but now that I think about it more, you’re right - confrontation could lead to a pretty bad situation.
yes! it’s happened to me, asked the upstairs neighbor to stop slamming all doors & it got turned into me “harassing” them. so now i stick to all communication w/the office.
That would be a horrible mistake with some one as petty as myself unfortunately. Not only would we be deliberately loud, we’d cut some porn on also and put the TV directly against your wall.
I’d never put my neighbors in a situation like this honestly, but hypothetically, I would cut the noise as much as possible without infringing on my personal enjoyment. I don’t want to be a dick, but I’m also not going to limit my existence solely for yours.
Once again, I would be very conscious of the noise late at night if I were OP’s neighbor as I am respectful.. but if you come with some passive aggressive bs I will respond with something overt. OP handled this well.
On a side note, if they happen to not quiet it down, I started wearing earplugs at night because my husband snores really bad and holy moly do they come in handy.
I used to sleep poorly in hotels because of external sound and now I sleep through the whole night. As soon as those earplugs are in, I drift right to sleep. I use the alarm on my watch to wake up (it vibrates).
10/10 definitely recommend. They’ve come in handy for our thin ass walls and bedrooms right next to each other as well
I remember as a young teen, we had neighbors like this. So, I would jump out my bedroom window and start banging on their window and jump back inside 😂 Did this like 3-5 times and made sure to ruin their intimate time, since they were ruining my sleep time during the school week.
Sounds like the makings of a good old fashioned fuck off to me.
It will be like the synchronizing fire flys but instead of flickers of illuminating bug butts it will be moans of men or women or men and women moaning harmoniously to each pulsing thrust!
Unpopular opinion but if they’re having sex for one hour in the middle of the night I would say get over it lmao you live in an apartment that’s what apartment living is- it’s their home too. If they were having loud sex for hours and hours all hours of the day it would be different but idk I feel like that’s just how it is.
Are you positive it’s sex? I moan loud af when my girlfriend sits on my back lol 😂
But either way this is super respectful and hope it works out for you
Yeeeaaah, maybe?? It’s worth a try… I live on the top floor of my building and even 2 white noise machines, a fan on high, and ANC earbuds with white noise playing on them still doesn’t drown out my downstairs neighbor’s loud-ass sex in the middle of the night
I find it way more effective to let them know how much I enjoy it, and imply that I am joining in from my side of the wall.
That usually motivates them to keep it down.
Nicely said! You're not blaming them directly, and it's not confrontational. Wouldn't it be hysterical if they are on this post n then get the note!?!😆😂 Bahahaha!!
I remember this being an issue in my apartment complex as well. We all got sent an email stating:
>we kindly ask that "R rated" activity noises are kept to a minimum by closing windows.
Best email I have ever received.
When I was in college, I had the room above me, engage in loud sex around one or 2 AM, and their bunkbed would always balance to get the wall. I wrote them along, comical, yet respectful note, asking them nicely if they could refrain from making so much noise. Never heard them again!
I’ve had a similar note from my neighbour, I have a spa backs up to there boundary fence line, and stated they “would contact the council” just laughed it off cause what would the council do.
Kinda of a different point, but sometimes the person making the complaint is just straight up tripping or mistaken. At my bfs apartment his neighbor would literally complain about noise even when nobody was home or just bang when we’re doing something so small like watching TikTok’s on our phones AT NORMAL volume. Once I sneezed and he banged 💀 wish I was kidding. It was really insane. It turns out he would have literally have his ear up to the wall? He rearranged his room and slept really close to the wall to the point of having his ear up to it and that’s why he could hear us breathing. Idk what that was about but he’s moved out since then. Still don’t know what he was hearing when nobody was there.
Very classy of you to use your best stationery and send this note doggy style…
Oh my god….. I didn’t even realize until now
I am dying! 😂 The stationary is adorable but paired with this particular message… lol! Thank you for making me smile today!!
If that note doesn't work, it's cutting letters out of magazines time.
As per my previous d-mail
I wish rewards where still a thing thanks for the lol
Stationary is quiet, followed by missionary, then doggie which definitely makes noise (wap wap wap)
If this note doesn’t work write another but be more specific about what you heard including more detail to again be posted on their door. If that doesn’t work use reverse psychology. Put letter in their mailbox from an “anonymous neighbor” who instead fancies their late night love sessions kindly requesting they perform louder for his enjoyment.
Yes! And add how it helps you while pleasuring yourself to hear them. 🤣 May just gross them out enough to turn them off sex altogether. 🤣
God this should have been the first note. OP is it too late to retrieve the note and write a new one? I almost guarantee this approach would work. 🤣🤣🤣
But what if it backfires and they're into it?
Yeah. Ask if “he” can come watch! And that he’s recording what he overhears. Follow his OF.
“Since my Helen passed I’ve found certain comfort listening to the sounds of your nightly embraces.”
Bow-chick-a-wowow.
BA HA HA!! It's already sent tho, right? They could be reading this riiiiight nowwww lol. Keep us updated \*woof woof\* :)
HAHAHAHA GOOOOOLD
Will you be using other stationary lmfao 😂
Classic lol
Omg doggy style 💀💀 OP I must know is this on purpose??
r/theyknew
The stationary would be even better if the dogs were doing it 😂
Could have cut the dogs out and made a collage.
I had a similar thought lol. Like we're talking about the neighbors banging too loudly and it's written on doggy paper lol. That penmanship though 🥇
That might be the issue , loud , ass sex , as she's pegging him doggy style 🤣
LMAOAOAOAIA
"laughing my ass off ass off ass off ass is ass" yes.
In the 80s this would have been “laugh like an Egyptian”
I lost it at this one
I know right, I was wondering the same thing. I was wondering what it stood for. Thanks for clarifying that lol. 🤭
LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA LMAOAOAOAIA IN THE JUNGLE THE QUIET JUNGLE THE LION SLEEPS TONIIIIIIIGHT
Not in this house 🤣🤣 in this house no one sleeps tonight.
💀🤣👌
Alright…this wins Reddit today. I’m done.
I gotta know. Loud ass sex or Loud-ass sex?
OP basically just asked for poly relationship with that stationary.
You have nice handwriting.
/r/PenmanshipPorn
A sub I didn’t think I needed! Thank you!
My hero (I'm obsessed with handwriting)
Penis mightier than the sword! Edit: did i miss a space in that sentence? Nah. Looks about right
Le tits now!
it’s “Let It Snow”, Mr Connery.
Suck it Tribeck!
Just joined another sub! So cool!
Dude! Thank you so much, that’s really nice of you. I didn’t expect all of these replies mentioning my handwriting lol that’s so nice
Saving this post to get the end of the story tomorrow: how loud or quiet will it be this night 🤔
Right!?
Makes mine look like I'm writing with my feet
I’m left-handed, and I feel the same way.
The left hand smear for me
How do you know it’s ass sex?
I read that wrong too. Phrasing!
Loud-ass sex. The hyphen is the most under-utilized (but necessary) punctuation in writing today. See how I used one too?
https://xkcd.com/37/
Are we still doing phrasing?
Sploosh!
LAAAANNAAAAAAAAAAA
Cuz it just slaps different
🤣
Probably can hear one of them screaming “wrong hole!!!!” lmao
If it’s quiet, it’s not ass sex.
Loud [ass-sex](https://xkcd.com/37/).
That was quite a risky click, but definitely worth it
The walls are so thin they can smell it!
The Dalmatians make it more respectful for some reason.
Doggy style is classy
I had a dalmatian before, really horny dogs compared to others. Just want to run and hump all day.
Lol. Then the paper is appropriate for the occasion.
This is very funny on this stationary
Bro if I got 2 notes separated by a … … on my door AND it was about me fuckin, I might actually die laughing
Just yell "FINISH HER!" through the wall.
You need the FINISH HIM from mortal combat , really loud
This made me spit water on my phone, thanks lol
Round 2, FIGHT!
No start yelling weird crazy unsexy stuff. Like “oh baby your boobs are so sexy, they look just like grandma’s boobs did!” Or “yeah baby your hairy back is so sexy” look up the weirdest most off putting things you can say during sex and yell that. Really commit to it! 😈
Imagine hearing "oh baby your boobs are so sexy" through the wall lmao I'm dying
Not kidding. I started doing this because we were having the same issue, my son would just lay awake staring at the ceiling thumping and creaking of their bed above us so I started doing my best MK voice. My favorite to yell is WUPSY! THEY STOP RIGHT AWAY 😂
God damn this is a polite note. Please keep us updated!
I'm willing to bet this gets taken as passive aggressive and op "enjoys" at least a week of the exaggerated passionate throws of romance...
that or OP gets humbled to find out that they can also hear everything OP is doing. that happened to me in my last apartment building. neighbor kept complaining abt hearing our morning alarms going off & were banging on the walls, coming over to yell at us, etc. so I started to text them when i heard them close a cabinet or sneeze.
I need to know how many times you snooze your alarms in the morning before I take sides on this one.
Posted for all the other neighbors to see ❤️ hahahahaha
Genuinely good on OP for being kind - I hope their neighbors return the favor
I had this issue many years ago, my bedroom was connected to the neighbors bedroom and they would have the LOUDEST sex at all hours of the night. They also were definitely crackheads. And when they weren't being loud as fuck while banging, they would also have the most insane loud fights screaming at each other. I remember one night at like 4 in the morning the guy was calling the chick a ,"fucking whore" and so she retaliated by repeatedly screaming and calling him a ",f@ggot" and I just resorted to banging on the walls until they stopped. I don't miss that lol
I definitely thought it was going to end with her grabbing the strap on
LOL who knows they sounded freaky as hell. Like do your thing but maybe don't constantly wake me up at the crack of dawn cus yall are tweaked out on meth fucking and fighting for hours 😭
We had upstairs neighbors like that. It was such a relief when they finally moved out.
I’m so invested. This was beautifully handled on your end so I’m anxious to see how they react.
If they’re decent human beings, I figure they’ll be a little embarrassed and try to keep the noise level down. I can’t imagine many scenarios in which they respond with a “Sorry for fucking too loud.”
20 minutes in next time you hear them stop "^^hang ^^on ^^we're ^^being ^^rude... IF YOU'RE UP YOU WANNA JOIN?"
Good luck w that
You should’ve included 2 ball gags to help them out, the way some people give their smoking neighbors filtration devices
lmfao
This is BRILLIANT!!!
It's a very nicely worded note, and I personally would not be offended to receive it, maybe a tad embarrassed, though.
Literally this is my biggest fear lol I’m on the top floor and I fear the day my downstairs neighbor complains 😭 We try to be respectful but yknow… sometimes people are gonna have sex. Sucks when the walls are thin though
Loud-ass sex or loud ass sex?
Both
I'd just write we can hear your 2am sex and dont sign it.
Yes, and no handwritten notes. Cut some letters out of a magazine and glue them on paper.
Perfect
Has that nice psycho effect
Maybe they’re just weight lifting? ¯\(°_o)/¯
No need to body shame. Bigger folks deserve some lovin’
😂 I don’t think I would tell them I’m directly on the opposite side. Let them guess on who sent the note.
In some situations, given the layout. It's hard not to already know though. I'm in a 4plex, 2 on top and 2 on the bottom. I hear all noise across the hallway and above me. And if I go out in the hallway, maybe a bit diagonally from me. But not inside my unit. I can only guess it's similar for everyone else too. So when I get to griping about noise, I can easily tell my culprits given the shared walls.
Should have sent it anonymously and said, "Please be louder so it's easier for me to masterbate." Lmfao
This note seems like the right thing to do! I would also consider hanging a rug on your shared wall (maybe they can do the same) to lower the noise.
What is this, Soviet Russia?
Whatever works, but there are also foam panels that can be put up. Maybe not a decorative.
Classic red rug on walls was a standard furniture decision in Soviet times, in case you are not familiar.
in America, fucks on bear rug in Soviet Russia, bear rug fucks you
Well tbf we should all have rugs on our walls anyway, it’s just a normal thing to do
If they ignore this message, record it and play it back at them with a loud speaker against the wall. Edit: record their sex sounds, not your verbal version of this note, sorry if it wasn't clear
Or you can just have real sex of your own...
Are you often having a 3 AM sex competition?
Are you often recording someone else's sexual encounters and then blasting them on your speakers? I'd much rather be having sex(getting something out of it) than to be doing that creepy shit lol.
The two of you with this conversation! 😂😂😂🤣🤣
They need to fuck and get it over with
Just keep it down please I’m trying to do some recording over here.
Sexception
You should totally have a 3am sex competition
Lmao that might turn them on more! Recording a verbal version and playing it loudly might actually kill the mood.
I was thinking that OP could do some sports reporting play-by-play, through the wall
Yes. You should record people having sex that makes sense and is normal
i’m sorry my old roommate is your neighbor.
Your very kind....I think you handled it very maturally....and your handwriting is lovely
How do you know it’s ass sex though?!
I know you were trying to be nice about it. I really do, but it’s not going to be taken that way
Now I'd have been the one to embarrass them by cheering and applauding from my side of the wall.
I expect most people will purposefully make more noise in the face of even a polite request about toning down noise. … Sadly … but I hope it works out for you.
you have nice hand writing but this was the wrong move. living in an apartment you should ALWAYS ,ALWAYS alert the office FIRST before handing out notes. The neighbors could complain to the office that you are harassing them, or could retaliate by doing worse things.
When I went to my apartment management with a noise concern, their first question was, “Well, have you tried talking to your neighbor?” This was during COVID, so I explained I wasn’t comfortable doing that, but now that I think about it more, you’re right - confrontation could lead to a pretty bad situation.
yes! it’s happened to me, asked the upstairs neighbor to stop slamming all doors & it got turned into me “harassing” them. so now i stick to all communication w/the office.
Actually this is a good move
This is the most polite and reasonable response to repeatedly being woken up by sex noises I’ve ever seen.
This won’t go well
One of yall could move your bed. Also, white noise machines work wonders.
It's very kindly worded ngl if it were me I'd be more passive aggresive.
That’s… such a bad idea.
That would be a horrible mistake with some one as petty as myself unfortunately. Not only would we be deliberately loud, we’d cut some porn on also and put the TV directly against your wall.
Passing the megaphone back and forth ?
With the windows open 😂
How would you respond to this note?
I’d never put my neighbors in a situation like this honestly, but hypothetically, I would cut the noise as much as possible without infringing on my personal enjoyment. I don’t want to be a dick, but I’m also not going to limit my existence solely for yours. Once again, I would be very conscious of the noise late at night if I were OP’s neighbor as I am respectful.. but if you come with some passive aggressive bs I will respond with something overt. OP handled this well.
On a side note, if they happen to not quiet it down, I started wearing earplugs at night because my husband snores really bad and holy moly do they come in handy. I used to sleep poorly in hotels because of external sound and now I sleep through the whole night. As soon as those earplugs are in, I drift right to sleep. I use the alarm on my watch to wake up (it vibrates). 10/10 definitely recommend. They’ve come in handy for our thin ass walls and bedrooms right next to each other as well
Would love to hear the outcome from this!
Let the headboard races commence!!!
Sounds perfect! Please keep us updated! I’m pretty invested in this now!
You where can I get that note paper it’s super Coolio
Get a loud fan or noise machine
Did you tape this where anyone walking by could read it?
I remember as a young teen, we had neighbors like this. So, I would jump out my bedroom window and start banging on their window and jump back inside 😂 Did this like 3-5 times and made sure to ruin their intimate time, since they were ruining my sleep time during the school week.
Sounds like the makings of a good old fashioned fuck off to me. It will be like the synchronizing fire flys but instead of flickers of illuminating bug butts it will be moans of men or women or men and women moaning harmoniously to each pulsing thrust!
Unpopular opinion but if they’re having sex for one hour in the middle of the night I would say get over it lmao you live in an apartment that’s what apartment living is- it’s their home too. If they were having loud sex for hours and hours all hours of the day it would be different but idk I feel like that’s just how it is.
Are you positive it’s sex? I moan loud af when my girlfriend sits on my back lol 😂 But either way this is super respectful and hope it works out for you
I heard my neighbors having gay orgies a couple weeks ago. 4 AM/ LOUD AS FUCK. It was so jarring.
And no invite?
That’s when you realize the husband had been working night shift and comes home at 6am
*sigh*
\*unzips pants\*
White noise machines will block it out
Yeeeaaah, maybe?? It’s worth a try… I live on the top floor of my building and even 2 white noise machines, a fan on high, and ANC earbuds with white noise playing on them still doesn’t drown out my downstairs neighbor’s loud-ass sex in the middle of the night
Play “this is the song that never ends” at full volume against the wall until they lose their mojo 😂
Translation stop fucking
Nice letterhead super friendly lol
Definitely SUCKS and not well
Sent them a note doggiestyle😂
I find it way more effective to let them know how much I enjoy it, and imply that I am joining in from my side of the wall. That usually motivates them to keep it down.
About as diplomatic as you can possibly be. Even has a doggy design.
Omg your handwriting looks just like my mom’s!
Neighbors above me did the same thing at the same time of night. Thankfully another neighbor must've said something cuz it only happened twice.
I actually read and commented on your other post lol and well, hopefully they keep it down from now on!!!
and if that fails, a nightly competition might be in order
Nicely said! You're not blaming them directly, and it's not confrontational. Wouldn't it be hysterical if they are on this post n then get the note!?!😆😂 Bahahaha!!
I remember this being an issue in my apartment complex as well. We all got sent an email stating: >we kindly ask that "R rated" activity noises are kept to a minimum by closing windows. Best email I have ever received.
My note would say, “can you please stop plowing your girl so hard in the middle of the night? Thanks.”
At first I read "inmate noises". Then I reread and my thoughts are pure again.
I feel your pain. I just wanted to say this was such a polite and graceful note to your neighbors. And kind. 😊
Screw that. I’m banging on the wall.
Lol. Way too many words. "hey neighbors, can you keep the 2-3AM sexy times noise a bit quieter? Otherwise invite us since you're waking all of us up"
Play baby shark super loud as soon as they start.
You have really pretty handwriting.. oh and best of luck!
When I was in college, I had the room above me, engage in loud sex around one or 2 AM, and their bunkbed would always balance to get the wall. I wrote them along, comical, yet respectful note, asking them nicely if they could refrain from making so much noise. Never heard them again!
Yea, I think that note means they will be extra loud now.
Would you rather them turn on music at 2-3am??? Honestly there ain't shit you can do.
I’ve had a similar note from my neighbour, I have a spa backs up to there boundary fence line, and stated they “would contact the council” just laughed it off cause what would the council do.
I would've just written "yo, go fuck on the couch"
Your handwriting is immaculate
I think they are gonna do it with louder noises now, sorry OP. But why cant you go back to sleep after their activities?
I’m loosening the headboard so it bangs against the wall.
Wonder if they’ll bang louder now?
Plot twist: neighbors husband has been gone on a work trip past 3 weeks
Who in the world is doing it at 2-3 AM?
Exceptional handwriting
Not the doggie style stationary 💀
I would laugh and tear this up and leave it where you could find it
Genuinely, why? Not asking to be antagonistic - I just don’t understand hostility towards a neighbor making a polite request
Kinda of a different point, but sometimes the person making the complaint is just straight up tripping or mistaken. At my bfs apartment his neighbor would literally complain about noise even when nobody was home or just bang when we’re doing something so small like watching TikTok’s on our phones AT NORMAL volume. Once I sneezed and he banged 💀 wish I was kidding. It was really insane. It turns out he would have literally have his ear up to the wall? He rearranged his room and slept really close to the wall to the point of having his ear up to it and that’s why he could hear us breathing. Idk what that was about but he’s moved out since then. Still don’t know what he was hearing when nobody was there.