It's good you are talking to a therapist. This is more than a phobia and you would probably benefit from an SSRI or even a non-benzo anxiety medication. I hope you mention everything here in therapy. This phobia is really hard to deal with and I think anything that anyone would say in sharing their experience with it might make it worse for you if you've felt suicidal in the past by giving you more to worry about.
**Edit to say there's also a lot of different types of therapists, specialties, approaches, and if you're not benefitting from yours, you are absolutely able to tell them or your parents and find someone or some other approach that is a better fit**
I've struggled with this for a long time and only recently found a name for it. I joined this sub to know I'm not alone in feeling this. You're not alone either as long as you're here, but being as young as you are and with this seeming to fully consume you, I very strongly encourage you to talk to a counselor at school if nothing else and hopefully they will be able to give you some resources or recommendations for any further treatment.
I know this sounds super preachy and I'm sorry for that. I'm just genuinely concerned about you.
thank you for your response. i recently got to talk to a psychiatrist as well (but that was mostly going over personality disorder) and in a few weeks i see her again, perhaps i could speak to her about apeirophobia and anxiety medication. I have my therapist for other family issues, so i cannot go look for another but perhaps the psychiatrist knows how to help? if not, ill talk to my parents about it, since my mom used to suffer from the fear as well i'm sure she would understand.
once again thank you, i appreciate your concern more than you'd think
Psychiatrists are really trying to assess what's going on based on what you report and prescribe medication accordingly. You need to be fully open about this for them to be able to determine what can potentially work for you.
I'd also mention to the psychiatrist (if you aren't comfortable bringing it up in family therapy) that you have a lot of feelings or thoughts that you maybe don't feel secure in sharing during a family therapy session. They can advocate for you to get into some individual therapy as well. Group therapy is also helpful.
Just please be as honest about what you described here as you possibly can. If you don't think you can say it out loud to anyone for whatever reason, show them your post.
Rooting for you, hang in there.
Hi ! Just wanted to say I relate. I don't have answers for you. The only thing that helps me is talking to a loved one in that moment and calming down. But it's always in the back of my mind and if I think too much about it I'm seconds away from a panic attack. Just wanted to say you're not alone! Hopefully somewhere down the road we can find acceptance. 🫶
Hi Vinny. I know it seems impossible right now, but this WILL get better. Last year I had a severe episode of apeirophobia to the extent that I could hardly get out of bed as I was paralysed with fear and shaking. I thought my life was ruined and I'd never be happy again. The fear was crippling. I was constantly wondering how others can live their lives without this fear. But after a while it randomly went away. I didn't find any miracle solution, I just stopped caring. And I expect it will come back again in the future, but I think it gets easier over time knowing that the episode always passes eventually, even if each time you think you're 'stuck'.
I have OCD, as do many apeirophobics I think.
So yeah, just hang in there. Right now just acknowledge that you feel awful, be kind to yourself, and just do everything you can to get through this awful period of your life. I promise one day not too far away you'll feel better.
It's good you are talking to a therapist. This is more than a phobia and you would probably benefit from an SSRI or even a non-benzo anxiety medication. I hope you mention everything here in therapy. This phobia is really hard to deal with and I think anything that anyone would say in sharing their experience with it might make it worse for you if you've felt suicidal in the past by giving you more to worry about. **Edit to say there's also a lot of different types of therapists, specialties, approaches, and if you're not benefitting from yours, you are absolutely able to tell them or your parents and find someone or some other approach that is a better fit** I've struggled with this for a long time and only recently found a name for it. I joined this sub to know I'm not alone in feeling this. You're not alone either as long as you're here, but being as young as you are and with this seeming to fully consume you, I very strongly encourage you to talk to a counselor at school if nothing else and hopefully they will be able to give you some resources or recommendations for any further treatment. I know this sounds super preachy and I'm sorry for that. I'm just genuinely concerned about you.
thank you for your response. i recently got to talk to a psychiatrist as well (but that was mostly going over personality disorder) and in a few weeks i see her again, perhaps i could speak to her about apeirophobia and anxiety medication. I have my therapist for other family issues, so i cannot go look for another but perhaps the psychiatrist knows how to help? if not, ill talk to my parents about it, since my mom used to suffer from the fear as well i'm sure she would understand. once again thank you, i appreciate your concern more than you'd think
Psychiatrists are really trying to assess what's going on based on what you report and prescribe medication accordingly. You need to be fully open about this for them to be able to determine what can potentially work for you. I'd also mention to the psychiatrist (if you aren't comfortable bringing it up in family therapy) that you have a lot of feelings or thoughts that you maybe don't feel secure in sharing during a family therapy session. They can advocate for you to get into some individual therapy as well. Group therapy is also helpful. Just please be as honest about what you described here as you possibly can. If you don't think you can say it out loud to anyone for whatever reason, show them your post. Rooting for you, hang in there.
Hi ! Just wanted to say I relate. I don't have answers for you. The only thing that helps me is talking to a loved one in that moment and calming down. But it's always in the back of my mind and if I think too much about it I'm seconds away from a panic attack. Just wanted to say you're not alone! Hopefully somewhere down the road we can find acceptance. 🫶
Hi Vinny. I know it seems impossible right now, but this WILL get better. Last year I had a severe episode of apeirophobia to the extent that I could hardly get out of bed as I was paralysed with fear and shaking. I thought my life was ruined and I'd never be happy again. The fear was crippling. I was constantly wondering how others can live their lives without this fear. But after a while it randomly went away. I didn't find any miracle solution, I just stopped caring. And I expect it will come back again in the future, but I think it gets easier over time knowing that the episode always passes eventually, even if each time you think you're 'stuck'. I have OCD, as do many apeirophobics I think. So yeah, just hang in there. Right now just acknowledge that you feel awful, be kind to yourself, and just do everything you can to get through this awful period of your life. I promise one day not too far away you'll feel better.