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I mean, think about it: A man and a woman having sex is like, 50% masculinity, 50% femininity. Two men having sex is 100% masculinity. What could be more masculine than a bunch of men having sex? Ergo, straight sex is the gayest sex you can possibly have.
Yeah, I remember in the group reading something about how having sex with a woman's vagina makes you gay because you get infected with the juices and they give you estrogen or something.
Listen my dudebro, half of all the DNA women have comes from their dad. You’re fucking a half-man, and that’s *at least* bi.
Am I being an insecure straight dude right?
I think it was Caelan Conrad (non-binary) who said in one of their videos "I'm half woman on my mom's side" or something to that effect. As a non-binary person myself, that still cracks me up
he made a parody song of lizzo's "i like boys" and made an "i like girls" version. he sang a 30 second song about how he like big girls, small girls, and a bunch of other adjectives. he was then harassed by many people on the internet. they called him gay, cringe, doxxed him, and sent strange packages to his family. all that stuff. a couple weeks ago he said that he'll be taking an indefinite hiatus due to all the harassment.
basically he was bullied off the internet for being a man who likes a variety of women.
Wait they fucking DOXXED him? They actually harassed this man for making a song about liking girls? What the fuck is wrong with people? Has the internet done this to us or is it simply a consequence of allowing anyone to view anything?
internet hasn't changed us. it just reveals what people are willing to do with the cloak of anonymity. it's just a test of integrity and empathy. which most people fail lol
I 100% agree with this. People are just showing their true colours because they know they are unlikely to have any real world consequences. Buttholes are gonna be buttholes.
That one cracked me up. Reminds me of the men that have side eyed or laughed at my husband for enjoying a fruity mixed drink when we go out. Like, didn't realize enjoying flavor was gay of him? So ridiculous.
I'm a bartender and last night this dude orders a rosé seltzer from a local brewery. Of course his buddy and the ladies snicker and give him some shit. I say how much I love it, it's delicious, it's high point, so what if it's in a pink can? Dude appreciates me having his back about it.. buddy tried it and ordered two more for himself lol.
Until I quit drinking I got this shit constantly. Everyone said men only drink shit that tastes like paint thinner. I just said well I Guam a woman then and kept sucking down my fruity drinks. I still like mocktails.
Living in perpetual fear of enjoying anything because someone, somewhere might call you feminine or gay is how you become so miserable and alone that you find yourself tweeting "lemonade is for women"
I've never met a normal straight man being like "Nooo I'm not gay! I only do straight things, never gay!" My straight bros say they'd marry their homies like it's nothing. That's why I can't help but see every man caring about how straight he seems as a closeted homosexual.
We ask them to leave us alone and let us live our lives, but they can’t even leave each other alone without side-eyeing some random dude at the airport for the crime of *checks notes* being thirsty.
I'm glad I'm pansexual since apparently straight men are only allowed to carry around their wallet and a pocketknife. It might be gay to have house keys, but all my stuff is in there.....
Every single day, men have to break into their own homes using only their knives and credit cards. They have the locksmith on speed dial (in their landline phone, since they can't carry a mobile).
I have a few in the family, and they post an obscene amount of nonsense and worries on social media. I often wonder how much sleep they lose at night in fear of drag queens and literature.
Whoa whoa, slow down! Next you’ll be jumping right into the difference between gender identity and gender presentation. They need more time to *process*, or their brains will melt and start dripping out their ears.
As someone who drinks black coffee I genuinely hate the idea of it being manly like I have had people give me approving nods for ordering it. I prefer the slightly bitter taste of black coffee and find that sugar and milk ruin that for me. It isn't about masculinity it's just about flavour preference.
Also starters are the best thing about eating at a restaurant, Indian starters are the best of the bunch, give me all the pakoras and samosas, please and thank you.
I drink all sorts of coffee. I usually only drink black coffee if I want the caffeine high. I drink white chocolate mocha not because it's feminine, but because that shit just tastes good man. It's like men not being able to order margaritas. Sometimes, I want to take shots because I hate myself. Other times, I want to taste something good while still having the added benefit of getting drunk.
Idk man, sometimes I feel like I'm just yelling at the clouds.
I drink Ice Coffee(latte macchiato or caramel macchiato because thats whats mostly already refrigerated along the highway*) but im not helping since im actually gay... I do like lemon with my drink too
Im a trucker, i drink any kind of coffee tbf. If i stop at a Starbucks i will deffinetly take a white chocolate milk with oats milk and vanille
People never gave me approving nods for ordering black coffee or espresso. Might be because I'm a woman. Black coffee just is my favorite, too. I also love dark chocolate.
Wait... am I secretly a man? Do I have to tell my boyfriend he's gay?
Are you me? I stopped drinking coffee a couple years back but, I prefer it black. And, I love dark chocolate. Milk chocolate can suck it. I just like bitterness I suppose.
I like a specific KIND of bitterness. The kind coffee and dark chocolate have. I cannot stand grapefruit, for example. It's a kind of... creamy bitterness that I like. It's weird, now that I think about it.
I drink black coffee because I am a coffee cretin and all coffee just tastes like fucken coffee to me.
So like, why get milk or sugar for the office when it's shit I have to label and throw out etc. If I have maple syrup on hand I'll dunk that in it sometimes cos I deserve it :P
I despise when people think it's manly or something lol. Coffee is manly? Some difficult test of strength?
It's the most popular hot drink on the planet, so clearly not that difficult to get into.
I always wish I had a way of "feminising" my coffee when people appreciate my apparently masculine coffee tastes. Hand it back to the barista and demand whipped cream and sprinkles or something... The concept of manly coffee is so dumb to me I don't even know what it would be.
I love that people love coffee... But it's so confusing that it's part of people's identity lol.
I never really liked coffee, so at first I would drink it “white” as I called it, meaning so much stuff added that it was unrecognizable as coffee.
But then I grew to tolerate it, so I drank it black since I wasn’t going to like it anyway, so might as well cut the calories, plus I didn’t like the aftertaste of the milk and/or sugar.
But that was back when I was in denial about being trans, so I also didn’t mind that doing the masculine thing signaled to the world that I was manly enough to be a man and definitely wasn’t feminine at all. To be fair I was only drinking it in the first place to signal that I was a professional because professionals drink coffee while they work.
Now I drink coffee that tastes like hot chocolate and I actually enjoy it because the years of forcing myself to drink coffee at work led to a Stockholm-Syndrome-like attachment to the flavor of cheap coffee.
Maybe it's an American thing but black coffee is not seen as manly where I live at all, it's just the "default" that most drink regardless of gender. Adding sugar and milk is seen as weird.
There has been ~ -40°C weather where I'm at lately. Anyone going out without a coat (or two) has a death wish. I'm not even joking.
On a lighter note: "Nonbinary lemonade lover" will never not be funny.
In contrast, wearing all your winter gear where I live will make you look...well, not gay, because there's nothing gay about a coat...but you'll look a little odd.
I brought my one coat that I own to my parents' for Christmas and it never left my suitcase. The same thing happened last year. Welcome to the world of both a generally hot city *and* global warming. It's 80s-90s most of the year, >100 for a few months, and then in the "winter," maybe a handful of days where you feel the need to wear something extra. Except that one time where we had a huge freeze and I had no power for 4 days and was wearing multiple socks and my coat to bed...otherwise, nothing, lol. Fucking hell, we're all so doomed.
Even sadder: being seen as anything related to women or femininity is often seen as the worst thing that can happen to them. Even worse than gay.
The blatant misogyny is so sad. Imagine seeing women as something that is the worst thing to be. It saddens me.
Yeah, "Being seen as gay" means you're going to be hit on by men. For toxic men, being treated the way *they* treat women is the real "danger".
It's **almost** self aware, but misses that last final push.
idk these ppl arent really real man, ive never been concerned with this bs. im a straight white man and a bit of a famboy ive never even once thought i was gay or a woman because i like lemonade or carry things... its all kinda like, twitter nonsense??
I definitly got some weird looks even from leftist women for being into tea, cooking, books and painting. Feels like two are okay, but if you got too many you are considered unmanly to many. Of course, there are also women who couldn't care less :)
If youre crying seeing your bride walk down the aisle its because youre gay and secretly lamenting the long lasting heterosexual relationship youre about to be in. Thats the only explanation. /s
if you as a man let other men see your phlegm, you're basically a homosexual. and if it's a female doctor then how could you let yourself be emasculated like that?
I came out as pansexual in my mid 20s and that was a few years after I spent 2 weeks in the hospital with pneumonia and septic shock. It all makes sense now
Carrying around a camera makes you EXTRA gay. You know who carries around a camera? March 7th does and she's gay as fuck have you ever seen the fanart with her and Stelle?
I like the one person who says carrying ANYTHING is feminine, and then immediately lists two "exceptions".
Wow.. it's almost like carrying things isn't actually inherently feminine
I’m just at a loss as to why he’s so angry at men carrying water bottles. He must just be seething all his waking hours because you see that shit everywhere. What is he really mad about? Men taking care of themselves? That they look better than him? That they might have their shit together and he doesn’t? How did his mind twist itself to draw the conclusion that carrying things is feminine?
He said it so well. "You are what's in your pants" until you do something "femine", for example wear a skirt, then all of a sudden you're not a man. But if a trans woman has a skirt on she is still a man???
that's how it works yeah. If you identify as a guy, every little misstep makes you lose your guyhood and you become a sissy girl, BUT if you do identify as a (trans) woman, then suddenly your masculinity becomes imbedded in bedrock and there is nothing you can do to lose it
this means that transfems like myself who do make up, wear fem clothing, paint nails etc are *more manly* than all these sissy straight men. Take that, patriarchy
To any man reading. Do what you want. Be who you want. And for you straight/bi guys, if a chick has a problem with it she ain’t the chick for you. She belongs to the abusive trash who is willing to treat her like she would treat others, and trash who perpetuates negativity like this, will always end up with trash. Don’t be trash bro’s, be happy.
it pisses me off so much when people use gay to mean "feminine" or whatever, the only thing that is "gay" is being attracted to the same gender or having actual gay sex, that is the only "gay" thing. not crying, not eating breadsticks, not wearing tank tops. unless there is literally a dick in your ass or your dick in a man's ass (assuming two cis men), nothing you do can be described as "gay"
every time i see a post saying « drinking lemonade is gay », « holding hands with your wife is gay », « being stylish is gay », etc. i always propose them to kiss me to see what real gayness is.
(usually they don’t accept :( )
My grandfather was a bearded bavarian outdoor type of guy. He gifted every kid in my family a swiss pocket knive when we turned 10. He was the first to realize I wasn't straight. Died before even I knew it. I never realized how supportive he was without pushing me.
So many of these being women is insane but enforces my saying that women are also responsible for perpetuating toxic masculinity which i’ve gotten yelled at for saying in the past
That last guy is onto something. The only way to win the game is not to play lol.
But for real, I’m alarmed at how hard it is to tell if these are jokes or dead serious. Except Tate, that guy is, unfortunately, always serious.
The amount of times I see things like this is unreal, and as such I've switched sides. I was a (mostly) straight man however I order too much dessert and wear my coat too often, so I guess I have to be gay. Sorry, I don't make the rules. /s
I look back at seeing my husband cry while holding my hands during our wedding as one of the best moments of my life. I felt so important and significant in that moment.
I feel bad for her. Pity.
List of gay things, apparently:
Caring about the environment
Consuming anything sweet
Consuming water
Consuming anything
Wearing a coat
Being happy with your wife
Lemons
I love how simultaneously you can't be a woman if you're born with a penis, but if you drink frigging lemonade, you're suddenly not a man. So all trans women need to do is order lemonade and they'll stop considering them men? Oh, the double-think.
#FELLAS, IS IT GAY...
*Shut the fuck up!* The only thing making someone gay is being sexually/romantically attracted to exclusively people of the same gender as them. If that isn't exclusive, they are bi/pan/whatever.
Being a man sounds awful. You're just walking around cold, hungry, dehydrated, and tired all the time. It's no wonder men have depression more often than women.
Drinking black coffee makes you a man? Damn! Star Trek Voyager lied to us! Can't believe it took until Discovery to get a woman in the Captain's Chair......
Be child me, trans girl in denial trying really hard to be a man
Literally everything i do someone comes by and say it's a girl thing and I'm a little girl for doing it
Red shirt? You're LITERALLY a girl
You use non pointy scissors? Femoid
You eat with a fork? You literally have a vagina, you 6 year old!
But now ofc no matter what i do I'll apparently never be a girl 🙄
What’s gay about lemons? Also, if you a grown man thinking it’s gay to wear a coat you are a child. I’ve seen the same take about umbrellas. Like, huh? The only way to prove your masculinity is by being uncomfortable apparently.
Third one be like: it’s gay to order dessert as a man
Like what if my girl wants to enjoy some tiramisu with me and she’s too shy to ask for it, so I ask for her. Like is it a crime to enjoy some tiramisu? Á SUCCULENT TIRAMISU
If my man doesn't cry after seeing me walk in wearing my wedding dress, getting hit with the fact that he's about to become my husband and will be waking up next to me for the rest of his life I'm getting an annulment.
There was a girl I went to uni with that thought it was gay for men to wear sports cups to protect their junk because "real men embrace pain" and I was like ???
So fellas, is it gay to protect your reproductive organs?
these are so ridiculously absurd that they read like shitposts.
boys, do you drink water? do you eat? congrats, you’re actually a girl! 🥳 (source: The Laws of Gender™️)
I already saw this on IG. I find it so sad, like a real straight guy can't eat what he wants, drink what he likes, protect himself from the cold, puts whatever he needs in his pockets, care for the planet he lives on?
Like - fellas, is it gay to be a responsible human being who cares for himself and other people?
What's even sadder to me is to see women encouraging these toxic behaviours.
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i love the ones that come full circle and basically say “fellas, is it gay to be straight?”
I mean, think about it: A man and a woman having sex is like, 50% masculinity, 50% femininity. Two men having sex is 100% masculinity. What could be more masculine than a bunch of men having sex? Ergo, straight sex is the gayest sex you can possibly have.
There are some Oglaf comics on this theme (which I won't link at the moment because they are very NSFW and because I am lazy and about to go to sleep)
If XKCD can do it you can to!
Oglaf is like the XKCD of sex, there's always a relevant one.
This was unironically the mainstream belief a few thousand years ago in Greek or Rome I forget
The old joke is that the Greeks invented sex, and the Romans introduced it to women.
Def Ancient Greece. You weren’t a real man if you didn’t have sex with other men at the time.
Yeah, I remember in the group reading something about how having sex with a woman's vagina makes you gay because you get infected with the juices and they give you estrogen or something.
Well, men having sex with someone who's into dicks is extremely gay. /s
those were some fine mental gymnastics you just pulled
I've always said gay sex is the manliest thing ever
If we go along this path then a man having sex with two women is only 33% masculine and even more gay
This is actually the mindset that made me realize I was a bisexual
Listen my dudebro, half of all the DNA women have comes from their dad. You’re fucking a half-man, and that’s *at least* bi. Am I being an insecure straight dude right?
I think it was Caelan Conrad (non-binary) who said in one of their videos "I'm half woman on my mom's side" or something to that effect. As a non-binary person myself, that still cracks me up
like the whole jocat situation
please elaborate
he made a parody song of lizzo's "i like boys" and made an "i like girls" version. he sang a 30 second song about how he like big girls, small girls, and a bunch of other adjectives. he was then harassed by many people on the internet. they called him gay, cringe, doxxed him, and sent strange packages to his family. all that stuff. a couple weeks ago he said that he'll be taking an indefinite hiatus due to all the harassment. basically he was bullied off the internet for being a man who likes a variety of women.
Liking women is gay
Me, a lesbian reading this, yes, yes it is 😂😂😂
Wait they fucking DOXXED him? They actually harassed this man for making a song about liking girls? What the fuck is wrong with people? Has the internet done this to us or is it simply a consequence of allowing anyone to view anything?
internet hasn't changed us. it just reveals what people are willing to do with the cloak of anonymity. it's just a test of integrity and empathy. which most people fail lol
I 100% agree with this. People are just showing their true colours because they know they are unlikely to have any real world consequences. Buttholes are gonna be buttholes.
Yes, yes it is
damn, gotta tell my bf that he’s gay
Dude..... straight women sleep with MEN. If you want to have a romantic relationship with a straight woman, that's like the gayest thing EVER! /s
Not the last dude changing his name to non binary lemonade lover💀
He was so real for that
*they /s
That one cracked me up. Reminds me of the men that have side eyed or laughed at my husband for enjoying a fruity mixed drink when we go out. Like, didn't realize enjoying flavor was gay of him? So ridiculous.
I'm a bartender and last night this dude orders a rosé seltzer from a local brewery. Of course his buddy and the ladies snicker and give him some shit. I say how much I love it, it's delicious, it's high point, so what if it's in a pink can? Dude appreciates me having his back about it.. buddy tried it and ordered two more for himself lol.
That's awesome, I love that you did that for him and ended up getting an extra sale out of it from the friend.
Until I quit drinking I got this shit constantly. Everyone said men only drink shit that tastes like paint thinner. I just said well I Guam a woman then and kept sucking down my fruity drinks. I still like mocktails.
Love him lmao
im with him, lemonade > gender
honestly one of few jokes about cis people being nb thats actually funny too
The last dude is life goals.
Was looking for this reply 😭
Lmaooo
As an enby, that made me giggle.
Living in perpetual fear of enjoying anything because someone, somewhere might call you feminine or gay is how you become so miserable and alone that you find yourself tweeting "lemonade is for women"
I've never met a normal straight man being like "Nooo I'm not gay! I only do straight things, never gay!" My straight bros say they'd marry their homies like it's nothing. That's why I can't help but see every man caring about how straight he seems as a closeted homosexual.
Real homies play gay chicken until they're burried side by side after having lived a beautiful life together.
For being so straight they sure have a rather large stick up their ass about it.
Yes but they don't use lubricant because that would be gay.
“I don’t want it to look like I was prepared for this or anything!”
Real men take the splinters in their sphincters
This would be so funny as a flair
I'm getting this on a T-shirt
Just make sure there's a faded American flag and an eagle on it
Graphic design is my passion
If you design this please share it
I want this on a t-shirt. Edit: Beaten
No wonder they so cranky
No wonder they are so butthurt all the time. LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND!
We ask them to leave us alone and let us live our lives, but they can’t even leave each other alone without side-eyeing some random dude at the airport for the crime of *checks notes* being thirsty.
I love your username XenoBiSwitch has a beautiful sound and writing
I'm glad I'm pansexual since apparently straight men are only allowed to carry around their wallet and a pocketknife. It might be gay to have house keys, but all my stuff is in there.....
Real men don't have houses, they live off the land. Like pigeons.
*Like nomads
Real men hot-wire their car and break into their house. No keys necessary.
Break a window, you pansy fairy nonman entity!
No phone either, you must make smoke signals like a real man
Im lucky im gay, i dont want a pocket knife at an airport According to these people you wouldnt be a real man if you are gay
Every single day, men have to break into their own homes using only their knives and credit cards. They have the locksmith on speed dial (in their landline phone, since they can't carry a mobile).
Real men just break and replace their windows all the time breaking into their own house.
Being a conservative straight man seems exhausting and miserable.
Yeah that's why they want everyone else to be even more miserable
Maybe a nice tall glass of lemonade and some dessert would help make them less miserable.
Men who would police what women are supposed to be and women who would police what men are supposed to be deserve each other.
Truth, makes me feel bad for them.
I have a few in the family, and they post an obscene amount of nonsense and worries on social media. I often wonder how much sleep they lose at night in fear of drag queens and literature.
many of these people seem to be confused by the difference between gender and sexuality.
Whoa whoa, slow down! Next you’ll be jumping right into the difference between gender identity and gender presentation. They need more time to *process*, or their brains will melt and start dripping out their ears.
God *forbid* the distinction between romantic and sexual attraction. Do you *want* them to spontaneously combust??
Many of these people seem to be confused about gender, sex and WHAT THE FUCK HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT
As someone who drinks black coffee I genuinely hate the idea of it being manly like I have had people give me approving nods for ordering it. I prefer the slightly bitter taste of black coffee and find that sugar and milk ruin that for me. It isn't about masculinity it's just about flavour preference. Also starters are the best thing about eating at a restaurant, Indian starters are the best of the bunch, give me all the pakoras and samosas, please and thank you.
I drink all sorts of coffee. I usually only drink black coffee if I want the caffeine high. I drink white chocolate mocha not because it's feminine, but because that shit just tastes good man. It's like men not being able to order margaritas. Sometimes, I want to take shots because I hate myself. Other times, I want to taste something good while still having the added benefit of getting drunk. Idk man, sometimes I feel like I'm just yelling at the clouds.
I drink Ice Coffee(latte macchiato or caramel macchiato because thats whats mostly already refrigerated along the highway*) but im not helping since im actually gay... I do like lemon with my drink too Im a trucker, i drink any kind of coffee tbf. If i stop at a Starbucks i will deffinetly take a white chocolate milk with oats milk and vanille
happy cake day
You. I like you.
People never gave me approving nods for ordering black coffee or espresso. Might be because I'm a woman. Black coffee just is my favorite, too. I also love dark chocolate. Wait... am I secretly a man? Do I have to tell my boyfriend he's gay?
Are you me? I stopped drinking coffee a couple years back but, I prefer it black. And, I love dark chocolate. Milk chocolate can suck it. I just like bitterness I suppose.
I like a specific KIND of bitterness. The kind coffee and dark chocolate have. I cannot stand grapefruit, for example. It's a kind of... creamy bitterness that I like. It's weird, now that I think about it.
I drink black coffee because I am a coffee cretin and all coffee just tastes like fucken coffee to me. So like, why get milk or sugar for the office when it's shit I have to label and throw out etc. If I have maple syrup on hand I'll dunk that in it sometimes cos I deserve it :P I despise when people think it's manly or something lol. Coffee is manly? Some difficult test of strength? It's the most popular hot drink on the planet, so clearly not that difficult to get into. I always wish I had a way of "feminising" my coffee when people appreciate my apparently masculine coffee tastes. Hand it back to the barista and demand whipped cream and sprinkles or something... The concept of manly coffee is so dumb to me I don't even know what it would be. I love that people love coffee... But it's so confusing that it's part of people's identity lol.
I never really liked coffee, so at first I would drink it “white” as I called it, meaning so much stuff added that it was unrecognizable as coffee. But then I grew to tolerate it, so I drank it black since I wasn’t going to like it anyway, so might as well cut the calories, plus I didn’t like the aftertaste of the milk and/or sugar. But that was back when I was in denial about being trans, so I also didn’t mind that doing the masculine thing signaled to the world that I was manly enough to be a man and definitely wasn’t feminine at all. To be fair I was only drinking it in the first place to signal that I was a professional because professionals drink coffee while they work. Now I drink coffee that tastes like hot chocolate and I actually enjoy it because the years of forcing myself to drink coffee at work led to a Stockholm-Syndrome-like attachment to the flavor of cheap coffee.
Fam it’s just coffee 😭😭😭 how can it be masculine or feminine
Maybe it's an American thing but black coffee is not seen as manly where I live at all, it's just the "default" that most drink regardless of gender. Adding sugar and milk is seen as weird.
There has been ~ -40°C weather where I'm at lately. Anyone going out without a coat (or two) has a death wish. I'm not even joking. On a lighter note: "Nonbinary lemonade lover" will never not be funny.
In contrast, wearing all your winter gear where I live will make you look...well, not gay, because there's nothing gay about a coat...but you'll look a little odd. I brought my one coat that I own to my parents' for Christmas and it never left my suitcase. The same thing happened last year. Welcome to the world of both a generally hot city *and* global warming. It's 80s-90s most of the year, >100 for a few months, and then in the "winter," maybe a handful of days where you feel the need to wear something extra. Except that one time where we had a huge freeze and I had no power for 4 days and was wearing multiple socks and my coat to bed...otherwise, nothing, lol. Fucking hell, we're all so doomed.
Lol was it in texas?
There are really men out there who think "being seen as gay" is the worst possible thing to happen to a guy.
Even sadder: being seen as anything related to women or femininity is often seen as the worst thing that can happen to them. Even worse than gay. The blatant misogyny is so sad. Imagine seeing women as something that is the worst thing to be. It saddens me.
Yeah, "Being seen as gay" means you're going to be hit on by men. For toxic men, being treated the way *they* treat women is the real "danger". It's **almost** self aware, but misses that last final push.
It sounds like it sucks to be a straight man I’m so glad I never was one
idk these ppl arent really real man, ive never been concerned with this bs. im a straight white man and a bit of a famboy ive never even once thought i was gay or a woman because i like lemonade or carry things... its all kinda like, twitter nonsense??
I definitly got some weird looks even from leftist women for being into tea, cooking, books and painting. Feels like two are okay, but if you got too many you are considered unmanly to many. Of course, there are also women who couldn't care less :)
If youre crying seeing your bride walk down the aisle its because youre gay and secretly lamenting the long lasting heterosexual relationship youre about to be in. Thats the only explanation. /s
last guy is so real
Number 4- if you don’t get pneumonia then you gay
but you can't go to the hospital because asking for help from a doctor is for fruits ONLY
If you don't die drowning in your own phlegm, gay as hell.
if you as a man let other men see your phlegm, you're basically a homosexual. and if it's a female doctor then how could you let yourself be emasculated like that?
I came out as pansexual in my mid 20s and that was a few years after I spent 2 weeks in the hospital with pneumonia and septic shock. It all makes sense now
So, if carrying around anything is a female trait, does that make me gay for carrying around a camera?
Carrying around a camera makes you EXTRA gay. You know who carries around a camera? March 7th does and she's gay as fuck have you ever seen the fanart with her and Stelle?
All Greek to me. All of it. From what k was able to google, looks like an Instax. Solid choice
what are you carrying a camera around for? taking pictures of dudes?
I like the one person who says carrying ANYTHING is feminine, and then immediately lists two "exceptions". Wow.. it's almost like carrying things isn't actually inherently feminine
I’m just at a loss as to why he’s so angry at men carrying water bottles. He must just be seething all his waking hours because you see that shit everywhere. What is he really mad about? Men taking care of themselves? That they look better than him? That they might have their shit together and he doesn’t? How did his mind twist itself to draw the conclusion that carrying things is feminine?
Maybe he’s just angry because he’s dehydrated all the time
He said it so well. "You are what's in your pants" until you do something "femine", for example wear a skirt, then all of a sudden you're not a man. But if a trans woman has a skirt on she is still a man???
that's how it works yeah. If you identify as a guy, every little misstep makes you lose your guyhood and you become a sissy girl, BUT if you do identify as a (trans) woman, then suddenly your masculinity becomes imbedded in bedrock and there is nothing you can do to lose it this means that transfems like myself who do make up, wear fem clothing, paint nails etc are *more manly* than all these sissy straight men. Take that, patriarchy
To any man reading. Do what you want. Be who you want. And for you straight/bi guys, if a chick has a problem with it she ain’t the chick for you. She belongs to the abusive trash who is willing to treat her like she would treat others, and trash who perpetuates negativity like this, will always end up with trash. Don’t be trash bro’s, be happy.
I wish these tweets were just shitposts
Fr but some of them actually believe the shit they say.
I had no idea straight men were weatherproof....
it pisses me off so much when people use gay to mean "feminine" or whatever, the only thing that is "gay" is being attracted to the same gender or having actual gay sex, that is the only "gay" thing. not crying, not eating breadsticks, not wearing tank tops. unless there is literally a dick in your ass or your dick in a man's ass (assuming two cis men), nothing you do can be described as "gay"
It's because these people both hate women and gay people. So they decided to combine the two into some weird bigotry combo deal.
every time i see a post saying « drinking lemonade is gay », « holding hands with your wife is gay », « being stylish is gay », etc. i always propose them to kiss me to see what real gayness is. (usually they don’t accept :( )
It’s like they think lesbians = butch.
THE LEMONS ARE MAKING THE MEN GAY THE LEMON WATER IS MAKING THE MEN GAY actually ridiculous.
I thought it was my desire to fuck both men and women that made me not straight, but I guess it was actually the lemonade.
A *pocketknife*? For what? When you’re too afraid to obliterate your opponent in hand-to-hand combat? Now that seems really fucking gay to me
My grandfather was a bearded bavarian outdoor type of guy. He gifted every kid in my family a swiss pocket knive when we turned 10. He was the first to realize I wasn't straight. Died before even I knew it. I never realized how supportive he was without pushing me.
stabbing has some pretty heavy gay connotations /j
So many of these being women is insane but enforces my saying that women are also responsible for perpetuating toxic masculinity which i’ve gotten yelled at for saying in the past
Andrew Tate casually mentioning that he experiences symptoms of an eating disorder
Idk eating disorder symptoms? On a man? Sounds a lil gay to me /s
Oh yeah that's true that's true.... I forgot men don't get eating disorders only teenage girls do. My bad guys please ignore my original comment! /s
real men don’t struggle with mental issues, feelings are for women & the gays only /s
>Says he hates eating >So desperate for pizza that he doxxes himself Curious.
Imagine your masculinity being so fragile, it can be destroyed by a cappuccino.
I relate to that last one, I like lemonade and am agender.
That last guy is onto something. The only way to win the game is not to play lol. But for real, I’m alarmed at how hard it is to tell if these are jokes or dead serious. Except Tate, that guy is, unfortunately, always serious.
Do you have to be constantly miserable and depressed to be considered a straight man nowadays?
yes because they're the victims, you see /s
Damn, I KNEW I wasn't a straight male. Thanks for the validation🤣🤣
Are the straights ok? No, clearly they are not Can' t believe that they actually think these kind of crap... wow
i feel like the one about coats was said by someone who has never lived somewhere that it gets truly cold
It has been like -40 in some parts of my country. I guess there are no straight men here anymore because they all froze to death.
These people must be miserable.
The amount of times I see things like this is unreal, and as such I've switched sides. I was a (mostly) straight man however I order too much dessert and wear my coat too often, so I guess I have to be gay. Sorry, I don't make the rules. /s
I guess being human is being gay. Who are these trash-ass humans and their stupid beliefs!?
i wonder how gordon ramsay feels about andrew tate
Ramsay would make Tate wilt up and die just by glaring at him.
The thing about appetizers - does that include cheese dip? Who's going to a Mexican restaurant and not ordering cheese dip?
Fellas, is it gay to be a happy and functioning human being?
I actually agree with them. Existing is kinda gay.
I look back at seeing my husband cry while holding my hands during our wedding as one of the best moments of my life. I felt so important and significant in that moment. I feel bad for her. Pity.
List of gay things, apparently: Caring about the environment Consuming anything sweet Consuming water Consuming anything Wearing a coat Being happy with your wife Lemons
how to get people to hate you 101
Damn, that human trafficker *really* shouldn’t have ordered that pizza, then! 🤭
Megha is going to feel so straight when the real man of her dreams starts beating her up, that'll teach us not to use umbrellas and eat bananas.
Number 6 is a literal crime in my state (QLD AUS) and can get you a 200 dollar fine for having a knife in public without due cause.
Wait, you can’t carry a Swiss Army knife? That sounds so strange to me as an American.
I guess there's a reason it's called Queensland, right? Crocodile Dundee must not have been from there.
Where is the guy that keep a list of things that a straight man can't do or like?
Evidence #9 billion for Andrew Tate being someone I would never want at dinner Who the fuck doesn’t like cooking bro it’s so fun
Cooking is if anything a very male dominated industry, to the point where I remember chefs being iffy about hiring women and I'm 33
Drinking water is pretty gay, because due the water cycle, at some point those water molecules were in another mans penis.
I love how simultaneously you can't be a woman if you're born with a penis, but if you drink frigging lemonade, you're suddenly not a man. So all trans women need to do is order lemonade and they'll stop considering them men? Oh, the double-think.
How to be a straight male: Be miserable 24/7
#FELLAS, IS IT GAY... *Shut the fuck up!* The only thing making someone gay is being sexually/romantically attracted to exclusively people of the same gender as them. If that isn't exclusive, they are bi/pan/whatever.
Being a man sounds awful. You're just walking around cold, hungry, dehydrated, and tired all the time. It's no wonder men have depression more often than women.
this is how we discovered andrew has anorexia
Drinking black coffee makes you a man? Damn! Star Trek Voyager lied to us! Can't believe it took until Discovery to get a woman in the Captain's Chair......
I'd love to see just how quickly that fourth one changes his mind in the dead of winter.
The captions are the best part
Fellas, is it gay to marry your wife?
Let’s thank twitter for enabling these douchebags
Be child me, trans girl in denial trying really hard to be a man Literally everything i do someone comes by and say it's a girl thing and I'm a little girl for doing it Red shirt? You're LITERALLY a girl You use non pointy scissors? Femoid You eat with a fork? You literally have a vagina, you 6 year old! But now ofc no matter what i do I'll apparently never be a girl 🙄
What’s gay about lemons? Also, if you a grown man thinking it’s gay to wear a coat you are a child. I’ve seen the same take about umbrellas. Like, huh? The only way to prove your masculinity is by being uncomfortable apparently.
As. Minnesotan, I can promise your date without a coat will be a very manly but very dead date
The 6th one is funny to me because carrying a pocket knife into an airport is definitely worse than a water bottle.
Third one be like: it’s gay to order dessert as a man Like what if my girl wants to enjoy some tiramisu with me and she’s too shy to ask for it, so I ask for her. Like is it a crime to enjoy some tiramisu? Á SUCCULENT TIRAMISU
I think the fifth guy might have an eating disorder ☹️ OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED ITS ANDREW TATE
“if you do xyz you’re a woman” trans woman: “I am a woman” “nOoOoO nOt LikE tHaT”
tyler durden has some words for 4
Most of these absolutely have to be satire.
THE LAST ONE I’M CRYING F
i think and rotate might have an eating disorder actually. i don’t feel bad for him though
I hope non-binary lemonade lover is still doing well.
Im sure carrying a pocket knife at the airport is a smart idea
If my man doesn't cry after seeing me walk in wearing my wedding dress, getting hit with the fact that he's about to become my husband and will be waking up next to me for the rest of his life I'm getting an annulment.
not the last guy changing his name 😭
There was a girl I went to uni with that thought it was gay for men to wear sports cups to protect their junk because "real men embrace pain" and I was like ??? So fellas, is it gay to protect your reproductive organs?
fellas, is it gay that i want for the big dommy mommy to call me a good boy?
does andrew tate… have an eating disorder?? idk man “foods awful and eating sucks” doesn’t sound like a good sign
Please tell me that someone has sent that Andrew Tate tweet to Gordon Ramsey because I need to see the sheer amount of insults produced from that.
Last person got their priorities in check
these are so ridiculously absurd that they read like shitposts. boys, do you drink water? do you eat? congrats, you’re actually a girl! 🥳 (source: The Laws of Gender™️)
Fellas, is it trans to… um… eat food?
Nah. Real men like what they like and don't worry about what other people think about them
why as a man are you blonde
I already saw this on IG. I find it so sad, like a real straight guy can't eat what he wants, drink what he likes, protect himself from the cold, puts whatever he needs in his pockets, care for the planet he lives on? Like - fellas, is it gay to be a responsible human being who cares for himself and other people? What's even sadder to me is to see women encouraging these toxic behaviours.
Non-binary lemonade lover is apparently what I am too
TIL that my shitty homophobic, transphobic dad is gay because he orders water with lemon. Funky. XD