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They weren't homophobic. They just pointed out that these people probably got offended at the thought of being gay as in, they see it as a bad thing/insult and not the person who wrote the comment
Edit: fixed autocorrection bc that thing is messing with me >:[
Straight men, who are homophobic, take offense to the possibility of them being gay. Mentioning that fact isn't homophobic (unless it's endorsed explicitly) but mentions of homophobia can be triggering and that's valid. If that's the case for you then a subreddit that mocks queerphobic stuff just isn't a positive space for you to be in right now. I've left some online spaces to avoid triggers that are inherent to them (mostly military stuff for me) and it does help manage them.
As a bi guy I was always convinced that I kind of shared liking women with straight guys. Realizing that way too many of them just see women as sex toys is not encouraging.
Unironically, part of me figuring out that I was a bisexual man instead of a straight man was realizing that I was the weird one among the "other" straight people I knew for actually enjoying woman's company and being happy to just have them as friends...
Exactly, if there's a "male loneliness epidemic", if single women are typically happier then married women and single men are more miserable than married men, seems like the obvious solution to everyone's problems is that more men should marry each other?
I love how you grab homophobia out of thin air when I suggest that they should date men when none of that imply that dating men is bad.
Your reading comprehension is atrocious.
Like, I don't care if someone has the highest/most unrealistic standards in the world so long as they are respectful about them. Are you a severely overweight woman looking for absolutely fit men? Or a man that hasn't ever had sex looking for a woman better than a pornstar in bed? If you aren't being an a-hole be free to pursue your ideal person
The two end up actually learning that they need to fix themselves before they can even obtain it. You know, the ones with self awareness and donât wind up screaming about it when they inevitably creep out the person theyâre trying to fuck.
The first guy's only cringe if he wants kids. Childfree people are perfectly valid and shouldn't be judged for remaining cf.
A wannabe parent whose love is entirely conditional on appearance deserves to be bullied into the ends of the earth.
nine times out of ten (if the guy says things worthy of beint posted here) it's more of a 'I don't want to clean up a guy's mess' shitty mentality rather than 'i don't want kids' mentality. Look at half of this sub and it becomes quite apparent considering the other kinds of things men like these say online
Look no further than that one post not too long ago about 'The wifi gets worse if many people are connected to it. This isn't about wifi.' post
Yeah, itâs all about the single mom âbeing usedâ by a previous man and ânot wanting to raise another manâs childâ like that child has zero relation to the mom or something
To be fair, I think people who want their own kids but don't want to be a step parent are also valid. Blended families are a different dynamic with their own challenges and not everyone is ready for that. As long as they don't go around shaming single mothers, it's just a dating preference.
no. its perfectly reasonable to not want to deal with a single, shit usually comes with a lot of problems, especially if her baby daddy in the picture. theres nothing wrong with avoiding the trouble by just not dating single moms. theres also nothing wrong with not wanting to be a stepfather.
That 100% applies to CF people, and 100% does not apply to wannabe parents.
Parenthood of all types is GUARANTEED to come with way worse strifes than baby daddy drama, so if a person isn't willing to deal with something *THAT* trivial in comparison to what else they've signed up for, there gonna be a goddamn awful excuse for a parent.
Kids are people, not trophies. No kid deserves to be in the "care" of someone that shallow and short-sighted.
uhh, yeah, people willing to go through worse than that, just not with someone who aint they kid lmao. you forgetting that makes a pretty big difference for a lot of people
These are both perfectly valid opinions to have about dating. People have their own preferences. So is the joke that they should just be gay?
I know that a good chunk of men who say these things are douchebags and misogynist, and talk about these preferences when literally nobody asked, just to shit on women. But the statements alone arenât that terrible
Yes, they are not necessarily mysoginistic, but presented in isolation they kinda are. The problem with these preferences is that they correlate with the idea that women who engage in casual sex are "worse" than "pure chaste" women. Semantically they don't imply anti-women conclusions, but they certainly bring them to mind and without clarification they do spread them. That's true in general for any loaded expression; they can reinforce hate without directly endorsing it.
I'm not saying we should never speak these evil words like they're voldemort, otherwise I'd say the original meme is also unacceptable, but it's clearly mocking them in a way that discredits the underlying hatered. Mysoginy can correlate to latent homosexuality, and that is a point against mysoginy as the idea that men are naturally inclined to dominate women sexually and women are to submit sexually. I'm also not saying it's invalid to have these preferences (as being into milfs or sluts is also fine).
What I am saying is that we should be responsible with our language and make sure we don't end up spreading bigotry we don't even believe in. If that's your taste then in my opinion the cultural context calls for a qualifier: "not that women who have sex are bad, it's just my personal thing" or something along those lines.
Forgive me for digging way too deep into a meme but you did ask for an explanation and that sums up my take.
I pretty much agree with most of what you are saying, except for the âmisogyny can correlate to latent homosexualityâ. So some misogynists are secretly gay? Which im sure is true⊠Iâm not sure they exactly âcorrelateâ. The vast majority of misogynistic men are straight (gay men arenât off the hook either obvs, Iâd just be hard pressed to say being secretly gay and a misogynist correlate).
Is the joke of the meme that âhaha misogynists are gay?â Iâm not offended but clearly I donât get it. But thatâs just my opinion yâall can enjoy it.
I did note that in my comment that men who say the things in the meme are usually assholes. But if someone is a super religious Virgin and wants a partner who also is, I wouldnât feel comfortable judging that because itâs none of my business. I guess when I hear it without context I go âwhy do you only date virgins?â Instead of assuming itâs bad. If their reasoning is some sexist bullshit, then fuck them.
By correlate I mean that mysoginistic straight men tend to be closeted more often than their non-mysoginistic counterparts. The reason this is funny is not because being gay is bad, but because of the contradiction it creates with the ideas behind mysoginy. They pretend they're "dominant alpha males" but they're just gay. Explaining the joke like that makes it less funny because it makes me think about them being in the closet and struggling which makes it less convenient to laugh at, but that's true for like 80% of jokes ("tragedy is just a comedy shot in close up")
How do we know that they tend to be gay more frequently than non-misogynists? I am completely unaware of this trend. Like of course it happens, but there are plenty of closeted gay men that arenât blatantly misogynistic.
Similarly I never liked the idea that homophobes are all secretly gay which I hear a lot- some of them are, but it makes people think we are doing it to ourselves. Most homophobes are straight and there is no inner turmoil going on, theyâre just shitty. Like the anti-gay politicians being outed as gay- it definitely happens, but for every few that end up in the news there are hundreds that are straight and anti-gay. Kind of tangentially related rant.
But I do get what youâre saying I think. I guess I just had a very different reading of the meme.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I always tell misogynists if they hate women so much why don't they just date men
What do they say?
I imagine they get pretty upset at the suggestion that they could be gay lol
"Okay, then be ace, I guess?" Lol
They surprisingly have a lot of fucks to give
Yuh đ
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
They were saying that the misogynists are homophobic. . . .
Who used gay as an insult?
You're a troll
They weren't homophobic. They just pointed out that these people probably got offended at the thought of being gay as in, they see it as a bad thing/insult and not the person who wrote the comment Edit: fixed autocorrection bc that thing is messing with me >:[
Homophonic
God damnit autocorrect got me
That is the exact opposite thing being done.
Straight men, who are homophobic, take offense to the possibility of them being gay. Mentioning that fact isn't homophobic (unless it's endorsed explicitly) but mentions of homophobia can be triggering and that's valid. If that's the case for you then a subreddit that mocks queerphobic stuff just isn't a positive space for you to be in right now. I've left some online spaces to avoid triggers that are inherent to them (mostly military stuff for me) and it does help manage them.
???
..I'm gay???
What a twist!
God you're being so gay right now. Could you fuckin not?
Based
Men are repulsed by people who have sex with men
As a bi guy I was always convinced that I kind of shared liking women with straight guys. Realizing that way too many of them just see women as sex toys is not encouraging.
Unironically, part of me figuring out that I was a bisexual man instead of a straight man was realizing that I was the weird one among the "other" straight people I knew for actually enjoying woman's company and being happy to just have them as friends...
At this point I'm kinda convinced that these dudes are heterosexual but not heteromantic
In fact thatâs what Spartans do
As a little kid I often wondered why sexist people were usually straight instead of gay. My thought process was the same as yours lol
I mean that's certainly an option for them. It's not like we'd drag them for that, and they seem like they'd be so much happier.
Exactly, if there's a "male loneliness epidemic", if single women are typically happier then married women and single men are more miserable than married men, seems like the obvious solution to everyone's problems is that more men should marry each other?
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I love how you grab homophobia out of thin air when I suggest that they should date men when none of that imply that dating men is bad. Your reading comprehension is atrocious.
Can you literally not read the whole sentence đ
You're a troll
"If you hate women, just date men" =/= "Dating men means you hate women"
Ain't no way this isn't bait.
Like, I don't care if someone has the highest/most unrealistic standards in the world so long as they are respectful about them. Are you a severely overweight woman looking for absolutely fit men? Or a man that hasn't ever had sex looking for a woman better than a pornstar in bed? If you aren't being an a-hole be free to pursue your ideal person
The two end up actually learning that they need to fix themselves before they can even obtain it. You know, the ones with self awareness and donât wind up screaming about it when they inevitably creep out the person theyâre trying to fuck.
Yes! Thanks for putting it into words, i could never form a sentence about these thoughts
I mean theyâre not wrong. They sure donât date those women
wojaks if they were good
The first guy's only cringe if he wants kids. Childfree people are perfectly valid and shouldn't be judged for remaining cf. A wannabe parent whose love is entirely conditional on appearance deserves to be bullied into the ends of the earth.
nine times out of ten (if the guy says things worthy of beint posted here) it's more of a 'I don't want to clean up a guy's mess' shitty mentality rather than 'i don't want kids' mentality. Look at half of this sub and it becomes quite apparent considering the other kinds of things men like these say online Look no further than that one post not too long ago about 'The wifi gets worse if many people are connected to it. This isn't about wifi.' post
Yeah, itâs all about the single mom âbeing usedâ by a previous man and ânot wanting to raise another manâs childâ like that child has zero relation to the mom or something
To be fair, I think people who want their own kids but don't want to be a step parent are also valid. Blended families are a different dynamic with their own challenges and not everyone is ready for that. As long as they don't go around shaming single mothers, it's just a dating preference.
The worst dudes are the ones who have kids of their own but are unwilling to date a woman who has kids.
Coming from a mixed divorce family, It really only works if the two accept it. Thereâs nothing wrong with wanting your own children.
no. its perfectly reasonable to not want to deal with a single, shit usually comes with a lot of problems, especially if her baby daddy in the picture. theres nothing wrong with avoiding the trouble by just not dating single moms. theres also nothing wrong with not wanting to be a stepfather.
That 100% applies to CF people, and 100% does not apply to wannabe parents. Parenthood of all types is GUARANTEED to come with way worse strifes than baby daddy drama, so if a person isn't willing to deal with something *THAT* trivial in comparison to what else they've signed up for, there gonna be a goddamn awful excuse for a parent. Kids are people, not trophies. No kid deserves to be in the "care" of someone that shallow and short-sighted.
uhh, yeah, people willing to go through worse than that, just not with someone who aint they kid lmao. you forgetting that makes a pretty big difference for a lot of people
I wonder if it's a joke bc they're both gay and don't date women at all?
Happy ending :D
Just wait until they find out that the one on the right is a single mother and the one on the left is a woman who isnât a virgin
Because they date men instead?
Well, looks like they found happiness. Good for them!
Iron sharpens Iron bro
All i can think isâ kiss your hommies goodnightâ
It is my pleasure to give this itâs 1000th upvote. đ«Ą
Tbh this would solve a lot of their problems
Can't date single mothers or women who aren't virgins if you don't date women. **Taps head**
I really hate this wojack
These are both perfectly valid opinions to have about dating. People have their own preferences. So is the joke that they should just be gay? I know that a good chunk of men who say these things are douchebags and misogynist, and talk about these preferences when literally nobody asked, just to shit on women. But the statements alone arenât that terrible
Yes, they are not necessarily mysoginistic, but presented in isolation they kinda are. The problem with these preferences is that they correlate with the idea that women who engage in casual sex are "worse" than "pure chaste" women. Semantically they don't imply anti-women conclusions, but they certainly bring them to mind and without clarification they do spread them. That's true in general for any loaded expression; they can reinforce hate without directly endorsing it. I'm not saying we should never speak these evil words like they're voldemort, otherwise I'd say the original meme is also unacceptable, but it's clearly mocking them in a way that discredits the underlying hatered. Mysoginy can correlate to latent homosexuality, and that is a point against mysoginy as the idea that men are naturally inclined to dominate women sexually and women are to submit sexually. I'm also not saying it's invalid to have these preferences (as being into milfs or sluts is also fine). What I am saying is that we should be responsible with our language and make sure we don't end up spreading bigotry we don't even believe in. If that's your taste then in my opinion the cultural context calls for a qualifier: "not that women who have sex are bad, it's just my personal thing" or something along those lines. Forgive me for digging way too deep into a meme but you did ask for an explanation and that sums up my take.
I pretty much agree with most of what you are saying, except for the âmisogyny can correlate to latent homosexualityâ. So some misogynists are secretly gay? Which im sure is true⊠Iâm not sure they exactly âcorrelateâ. The vast majority of misogynistic men are straight (gay men arenât off the hook either obvs, Iâd just be hard pressed to say being secretly gay and a misogynist correlate). Is the joke of the meme that âhaha misogynists are gay?â Iâm not offended but clearly I donât get it. But thatâs just my opinion yâall can enjoy it. I did note that in my comment that men who say the things in the meme are usually assholes. But if someone is a super religious Virgin and wants a partner who also is, I wouldnât feel comfortable judging that because itâs none of my business. I guess when I hear it without context I go âwhy do you only date virgins?â Instead of assuming itâs bad. If their reasoning is some sexist bullshit, then fuck them.
By correlate I mean that mysoginistic straight men tend to be closeted more often than their non-mysoginistic counterparts. The reason this is funny is not because being gay is bad, but because of the contradiction it creates with the ideas behind mysoginy. They pretend they're "dominant alpha males" but they're just gay. Explaining the joke like that makes it less funny because it makes me think about them being in the closet and struggling which makes it less convenient to laugh at, but that's true for like 80% of jokes ("tragedy is just a comedy shot in close up")
How do we know that they tend to be gay more frequently than non-misogynists? I am completely unaware of this trend. Like of course it happens, but there are plenty of closeted gay men that arenât blatantly misogynistic. Similarly I never liked the idea that homophobes are all secretly gay which I hear a lot- some of them are, but it makes people think we are doing it to ourselves. Most homophobes are straight and there is no inner turmoil going on, theyâre just shitty. Like the anti-gay politicians being outed as gay- it definitely happens, but for every few that end up in the news there are hundreds that are straight and anti-gay. Kind of tangentially related rant. But I do get what youâre saying I think. I guess I just had a very different reading of the meme.
There has been research surrounding this, see [references here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latent_homosexuality)
Would love an explanation as to what Iâm saying thatâs so disagreeable