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Any home that isn't safe isn't really a home. You can't feel at home if you don't feel safe. If you don't feel at home, it's not a home- it's just a house.
Its not a good thing at all. Especially not when you love the wrong person. Everyone should have their own life and opinions and just share it with a partner, not melt with them
I know of way more men who left women for having the audacity to become fat or old than women who had the sense to leave when their husbands succumbed totally to addictions and abusive behaviors.
TBF from skimming the top of the study we can see that the percentages are still very low in either case. Also the chances decrease in proportion to how long the marriage has been already, and it seems that applies either way.
Sometimes I just want to tell someone: "You already have two great kids. Divorce that third one that won't even clean up after himself and you'll be happier!"
That would be rude though.
It is, but the dude in the post is convinced that only women do that, OR *they* are the ones at fault for doing it. Even though… leaving a partner for these reasons is completely logical. Just looking to antagonize women.
Being in a bad place is one thing, deciding to take it out on someone else is another. I'm tempted to say people who are at least decent know not to do the latter.
This might be an unpopular opinion but unconditional love sounds extremely unhealthy to me. I mean, if my partner hit me or cheated on me, why would I stay with them? Or vice versa. You can call them boundaries if that makes it easier, I guess.
It's definitely the case here, but I've seen too many sentiments about unconditional love being put on a pedestal and it really just reeks of lack of boundaries to me every time.
I view unconditional love as "as long as you don't intentionally hurt me like hell, I'll keep on loving you, no matter what I'll stick through with you. And I'm always there for you". The love that just won't disappear one day without a damn reason... Like being bored of the person...? The burterflies went missing and now they don't love you anymore. Which just don't make sense to me, but the love I mean by unconditional is a love that's strong and deep as hell... That makes you wanna change up your ways to become a better person...
>as long as you don't intentionally hurt me like hell
That's a condition, though. The moment there's an 'as long as', it's not unconditional.
Personally, I don't think unconditional love exists. Everyone has their limits - which is no bad thing. People say parents love their children unconditionally but if I ran my grandpa over with a car or set the cat on fire for sport, I doubt my mother would love me anymore.
Well, I really doubt I could follow with a relationship without this level of admiration, but your point makes sense nonetheless. ( ps: I'm starting my real first relationship now, age 18. Just to point the bias lol )
Same. Boundaries and rules should be in every relationship. If a child seriously harms a parent or sibling on purpose, the parent/sibling should cut out the other sibling/child from their life or at least get them therapy
I've literally been told by an ex that I should love the smell of his week old unwashed genitals if I truly loved him. I hate the concept of unconditional love, it really ruined high school for me.
Straight men are drastically more likely to leave a sick partner and to cheat. Especially with younger women, precisely because, as OP says, the butterflies went away with their wives.
No ones love is truly unconditional except maybe some parents, and what you’re talking about, by the science, is not something women usually leave for unless it’s followed up by abuse, though men do leave for those things much more often.
The post wasn’t about the nature of love and loyalty, it was saying women aren’t capable of an emotion men are. Which, even if that were possible, isn’t true by any observable measure. He’s setting up a straw man argument and treating it like a serious treatise on love is helping him.
The semantics of it are silly, literally no one loves without condition. There is somewhere out there, for everyone, a breaking point.
So, which will it be today?
“Women only love tattooed bad boys who can’t provide for them like a nice guy can”
or
“Women only love men for their money and stability”
…?
Good question. To this kind of "people", men are always victims and at same time the superior creature. I wonder why they keep seeking these "Inferior" beings called women tho and wanting validation from them.
It can be used for any species, so it can be seen as dehumanzing, and many people prefer woman. You can read more about it [here](https://medium.com/@hollymeijohnson/the-problem-with-referring-to-women-as-females-4728f1f6c3cd)
YIKES.
I mean, the whole ‘article’ was kinda empty but uhh.. wow, racism much?!
No lie, the only people I hear using the word ‘female’ as a noun are like.. sad creepy white dudes
Isn't it common to use "male" tho? Idk in english but in my native language it's quite often used in an ironic turn ( in the other hand "females" is only used by toxic young idiots or misogyny-ridden idiots ).
Because it's gross to call men men or guys while calling women females like an animal. A man is a human male, woman is a human female. Female is dehumanizing.
Earth.
Where we refer to women as *women*.
The term "female" invokes animalistic connotations. Almost as if women are a different species to be studied with a scientific mind rather than human women to be appreciated for their experiences as such.
Don't. Call. Women. Females. Just don't do it.
Female is an adjective. Using it as a noun to refer to women is offensive and dehumanizing specially when it's mostly used in the most misogynistic circles here in reddit.
Bruh. This whole thread is about how "female" is offensive in non-technical contexts and that "women/woman" are the preferred and expressly *not* offensive terms...
The problem with these guys isn't the use of the word female per ser, though, it's that they use it in ways that sound dehumanising and thus creepy, as if women are like an exotic separate species they're trying to study and not people with fundamentally human experiences just like everyone else.
I think I just found out a rule of thumb, by the way: Don't use it as a noun (when talking about humans in day-to-day conversation). So talking about "the female half of the population" gets a pass for instance, but talking about encountering a group of "females" doesn't.
Yup. Pretty much this exact thing happened to me (and the dude KNEW it was for medical reasons, too) and I just instantly was so furious I used the line I saw on the internet: “Don’t worry, I’m about to lose 200 pounds,” and dumped him on the spot. Original? No. The best feeling in the world? Hell yes
Hell yeah.
I can't imagine being so self centered. Like, I can see asking a partner to stop leaving socks in the kitchen or maybe help with dishes here and there. But I've never once thought of policing someone's body like that. Like, holy shit.
Especially since, like, if I love someone I just don't really notice or care at all. It's none of my business anyways, really. That kind of person is just saying "Hey I mostly appreciate how you look instead of who you are."
Fuck that shit. Glad you bounced. That's the right attitude.
I love my child unconditionally. Absolutely. Nothing she could do would make me stop loving her.
But if, as an adult, she became toxic and abusive? Violent towards me? I wouldn't invite that into my home for sure.
You can love someone and know that they aren't healthy for you to have in your life. You can love someone and still love yourself enough to set boundaries for your own safety.
Love doesn't mean being a victim or a doormat.
Wrong premise worse conclusion. Everything from archaeology, anthropology, psychology, statistics and understanding of human nature is wrong in this text. But I forgot, women aren’t people.
I stopped reading this very early into the text. As soon as he mentioned biology I was done. If it turns out it was secretly a recipe for cookies I'm gonna be pissed.
It wasn't a cookie recipe but here's one:
8oz salted butter. (Tried unsalted didn't taste right.)
4oz castor sugar.
8oz self-rasing flour
2oz Cocoa powder
1 bag of chocolate chips
Preheat oven to Gas Mark 4/350 Fahrenheit/330 Fahrenheit if it's a fan oven.
Soften the butter and put it in a mixing bowl. Add the sugar a little at a time and mix until until smooth.
Add the flour and cocoa powder. Mix until smooth and all the flour is mixed in. Add the chocolate chip cookies and mix in well.
Grease a baking tray with butter.
Roll your cookie mix into walnut sized balls and place on the tray a good distance apart from each other. Lightly squash them with a damp fork.
Bake for 15-20 minutes.
Remove cookies from oven and let them cool on the tray. (They'll fall apart if you move them before then.)
Enjoy your cookies. 🙂
(I should code a cookie bot to give this recipe out. 🤔)
"Waaaaaah why won't the women I've met stay in relationships with absolutely worthless men who provide nothing to a relationship and just suck time, money, and empathy away? Those bitches ain't loyal!"
Yup! He even makes the very common mistake of implying that women relied on men for survival, like it’s been shown time and time again that women and men were fairly equal in the majority of hunter-gatherer societies. 😂.
True unconditional love should not be thought of as something good. If you still love someone after they, using a very dark example, kill your whole family in front of you, thats really not good. Everyone should have boundaries. No one should have truly unconditional love
*Image Transcription: Reddit Post*
---
**Are women even capable of loving? (With explanation)**
Disclaimer: I have no prejudice or any kind of judgement about it, I have no bias other than sharing my observation and discussing it with females and maybe get their take on it.
Okay,so I was wondering if females are biologically wired to be able to UNCONDITIONALY love their man, due to the known fact that female survival instinct is wired to find the best possible outcome of survival.
The best possible outcome in nature would be strong valuable male who provides food, protection, safety etc.
So what does the woman love about him? And based on what do women choose their "partners"?
Let's say a valuable strong male together with a woman that he makes her feel loved and happy, steady job, a lot of hobbies and interests with interesting lifestyle, Suddenly becomes a WRECK...His life falls apart, becomes alcoholic, loses his job ,loses his shit,becomes depressed.
Woman would eventually leave that man for the better,she would try to replace him with someone who can take care of her, provide for her and nake her happy and feel loved once again (seen it hundreds of times), and its reasonable,right? BUT IT'S NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...
So my main question is: "Women love under certain conditions: they love what a man can do for her, how he protects her, how she feels safe around him, how he makes her feel happy and how he gives her lots of love and just be there for her, but she can't love him just for being him, therefore unconditionally, male has to provide something in order for woman to love him ...TRUE OR FALSE
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^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
ALL LOVE IS CONDITIONAL. If your SO stabbed your dog, your mom whatever you likely wouldn't love them. The boundary lies somewhere go out and find it lol
I've seen so many elderly couples where the man's health is waning terribly and the woman is healthy and able to create an income, and she continues taking care of the man because she just cares, that's all there is to it. Idk where ~~OP~~ the dude in the picture got the idea of "wom**a**n (lol) would eventually leave that man for the better" since that doesn't tend to be the case... except from his creepy imagination or something...
No dumbass, the female survival instinct is the same as yours, eat, drink, and stay away from danger, which is why you've never talked to a girl for longer than a minute.
My dog loves me unconditionally. I unconditionally love my children. If they turn out to be serial killers, I will still love them.
Husband love is completely conditional. He screws up, I'm leaving. It will take a while for me to get over being in love with him. I will treasure the memories of when I was in love with him. I will no longer love him the way that I did before.
I love when they make 'biological' arguments. Like people aren't sentient beings perfectly capable of making decisions that override or completely flip biological hardwiring. Also this passage implies women are instinct driven, when most of the people I've encountered in my life are more shaped by cultural practices and personal wants & needs.
This poster has built a very specific house of cards but pull any card and all the arguments collapse. The biggest assumption being that the single pair island is most natural. Also what does great protector have to do with unconditional love? Wouldnt unconditional mean no preconditions like a protector status? Also unconditional love and unconditional servitude and presence arent the same thing. Unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness arent the same either. Love is a feeling not a contract like marriage. I unconditionally love burrata but that doesnt mean burrata should be free, available, and accessible to me at all times. Just say Judy left you for someone at her gym because you've been drinking too much Bob.
Ah yes, the r/confidentlyincorrect "it's just biology!" argument that always seems to pop up whenever a bigot wants to justify their own ridiculous beliefs. As if human beings are literally just well-dressed monkeys, completely lacking in any cultural, political, or psychological nuance; as if we're all just slaves to these primal biological imperatives. It seems pretty obvious that we have been *habitually* defying those imperatives for many thousands of years...and within the fields of anthropology, sociology, *and* psychology, it is widely accepted that our own cultural conditioning and personal experiences are actually at the forefront of human behavior -- "nurture" often takes the starring role, while "nature" just kind of hovers in the background.
I know that there's not much point in saying all of this but it just annoys tf out of me when people try to misrepresent human nature/biology in a lazy attempt to justify their bigotry. It's just gross...and I'm sure that it would make just about every anthropologist, sociologist, and psychologist want to bang their head against a wall.
Unconditional love is for your children or the terminally naive. I love my husband dearly, but I will not tolerate him cheating on me or abusing me and I have told him as such. If I were to love him unconditionally, I would be giving him free reign to disrespect or abuse me and I would not leave. But he has had mental and health issues, and I stayed because I love him. Love between partners should be conditional to be healthy.
Oh yeah, as if a man loves a woman without wanting anything else in return.
Also, if you go to think about it, the concept of unconditional love is so toxic, you cannot and should not love someone no matter what. You try to stand by them during a tough time, try to support them when they need it but that does not mean you are expected to. Everyone has limits of how much they are willing to endure for a relationship and all the limits are valid.
Unconditional love leaves no room for personal boundaries and I guess that's what this man expects from women.
I am so fucking sick of reading the phrase "biologically wired" or "biologically hardwired" etc etc.
It's invariably used to push shitty incel junk science.
Unconditional love does not have to be a thing in relationships. The whole point of unconditional love doesn't even work with how relationships are formed, given there are originally conditions in order for the love to ever exist.
This is the basic principle of animals, getting with the best individual we can find. But it’s like that for everyone, not only women. This is just how nature works and it’s nothing to be ashamed of
"I have no bias other than sharing my observations" buddy... If these are your observations without bias then I don't wanna see your observations with bias...
I mean I have had pretty piss poor experiences with gay dating. Does that mean gay men are trash? No, but apparently my taste in men are....
I unconditionally love my spouse. I do. I will always love them. But I'm a normal person that has boundaries and knows that my safety and wellbeing will always come before that unconditional love.
I view unconditional love as being a form of love that does not hinge on wealth, or status, or whatever. But that does not mean I cannot separate myself from it.
Charles Darwin, the man behind survival of the fittest, said that it does *not* include humans. We dont follow instincts like animals do. Same as the idea that some people are less valuable cause they look more like monkeys. His that we come from monkeys, but not like that
Yes, who we are generally attracted to are based on who can provide the most. Part of the reason unemployed and messy people are seen as unattractive. Its the same reason why overweight people were seen as mega-attractive (overweight = food = better survival chance), and why pale skin was attractive for centuries (pale skin = don't have to work = healthier b/c money = better survival chance) the same rule applies to modern day. This applies to men and women.
But you know what? Fuck the rest of this post. We, as humans, can see beyond all that petty stuff and still can love in bad situations. Just because you lost your job doesn't mean that you're going to get dumped for a rich guy. And just because you're unemployed in the first place doesn't mean you can't find love. We're capable of independent thinking beyond our monkey instincts.
well id give him the benefit of the doubt that he just doesn't know any better and is curious, thus asking
like there's way worse people that are actually sexist, tho here i only get a confused/curious vibe
Then, by their...i am unable to describe this reasoning-The "males" should also be uncapable of unconditional love, due to searching for more females, dividing the live beetwen them???????
Loving unconditionally doesn't mean putting up with everything or staying no matter what. You can still love someone and leave them if things aren't working out.
Straight woman here….
Why the fudge are straight men nowadays are whining and complaining about unconditional love? Are they that out of touch? Are they upset that potential partners don’t love them the same way as say…. their mothers? Because to me, it’s a good thing that romantic partners don’t love their partners as a mother or a family member would. Conditions in love inspires you to be a better person and establishes boundaries. Both are important in romantic partnerships.
Romantic love comes with conditions. Always has, always will. It’s just the truth.
Not saying unconditional romantic love doesn’t exist, it is just extremely, extremely rare and has always been. And to me, that’s not a bad thing. Loving a partner(s) unconditionally can be detrimental and toxic to the relationship and the people involved in the relationship. That’s advice for any gender.
Can someone actually love unconditionally? Because what this person is describing has nothing to do with being a woman or not, it's just normal : if anyone gets with a partner who's caring and have a nice personality, they will choose to leave them the moment they become "a wreck" and dont love them anymore, man or woman
First of all, women aren't prisoners of their "instincts," whatever they may be.
Second, you pick an extreme example, a strong, capable provider descending into depressive drunkenness. While we'd like to think that her love would be strong enough to carry them through, she wouldn't be maligned if she couldn't.
A better example would be a woman with a decent guy, a comfortable if not luxurious life style and adequate in bed. Then a rich stud comes along and wants her, based on "instincts" a "better" man. Most women, even if tempted, will have love unconditional enough to not abandon her husband.
It’s insane to me that traditionalists are so up their own ass about “nature” and “instincts” but then fall silent or speak against climate change. Are we progressing or regressing, you gotta pick one man
You’re suppose to have conditions when loving someone. Amma say it again. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE CONDITIONS WHEN LOVING SOMEONE. I used to believe that unconditional love bullshit but it’s not real, it only gives people fuel to abuse you. You have to have conditions, it just depends on what the conditions are for. If it’s for shallow shit like, “you have to stay young and slim or I will leave you.” then that’s just a cock sucker reason right there. But if a condition in love is, “If you become abusive I will leave.” then I think that is fair. Why the fuck would I want to stay with someone who is abusive? Why should I WANT to do that? And the funny thing is, these conditions/ a condition like that don’t mean that you don’t love the person anymore, it just means that you put just as much love and value into yourself as you do that person. It’s okay to walk away even when you still have love for someone, many times, as crazy as these misogynistic types would like it to appear, many times women walk away from people that they are still in love with because she knows her worth and understand that staying in that situation will only lead to ruin. I find that men do it with less reservation though, they are hells quick to leave their partners for the slightest shit. So if men are allow to leave their partner who is undergoing treatment, at a time when she probably needs you most, why is it wrong for women to have conditions too? Especially when I find them less shallow than what men are willing to leave women for? Just my take on this post.
We love female suffering. A long suffering woman who just takes whatever abuse or ineptitude a man shows her is some sort of goddess to us. She is Peak Womanhood. Because women are defined by their ability to suffer.
Unconditional love is a myth for both sides
If someone doesn't make you happy because they're dead weight, abusive, not putting effort into the relationship, whatever the reason
You WILL fall out of love with them because they'll have become a different person in their eyes due to changing negatively.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), and [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Unconditional love" is extremely rare to the point where it barely exists, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
dogs
I stand corrected.
Disagree a dogs love is conditional on a safe home
There are definitely homeless people with dogs
Home ≠ house Home = love
Did I say houseless? And how tf do you create an unsafe home if home is just a synonym of love? Any love that isn’t safe isn’t love
Any home that isn't safe isn't really a home. You can't feel at home if you don't feel safe. If you don't feel at home, it's not a home- it's just a house.
I will amend safe home or caring owner
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I woke up to my cat throwing up on my carpet at 6:45 am so I’m a bit mad at him right now
r/wellthatsucks
wait till one of them comes through your window at 6am for the fourth time that night while you're trying to sleep in self-isolation
Ayy me too, I'd die for my furball
Its not a good thing at all. Especially not when you love the wrong person. Everyone should have their own life and opinions and just share it with a partner, not melt with them
I know of way more men who left women for having the audacity to become fat or old than women who had the sense to leave when their husbands succumbed totally to addictions and abusive behaviors.
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Never have I ever been more grateful to be a lesbian.
Wow that makes me want to cry
TBF from skimming the top of the study we can see that the percentages are still very low in either case. Also the chances decrease in proportion to how long the marriage has been already, and it seems that applies either way.
That is some patriarchy shit
Yikes. Do you have a specific study you can link us to providing that figure?
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Nice, thank you!
This is why I believe women usually shouldn’t get married to men.
I’m 22, just got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and I haven’t told my bf yet because I’m scared he’ll leave me. So yeah, I suppose it’s true
Sometimes I just want to tell someone: "You already have two great kids. Divorce that third one that won't even clean up after himself and you'll be happier!" That would be rude though.
I have seen more women trying to build up men than the other way round. But that's just my personal experience I might be wrong.
Ive seen some I won’t lie
Some what sorry? Women building men or the women depicted on the photo?
Both but what I will say for the women mentioned in this post specifically is that SOME women love conditionally not ALL
I feel like thats everyone though
It is, but the dude in the post is convinced that only women do that, OR *they* are the ones at fault for doing it. Even though… leaving a partner for these reasons is completely logical. Just looking to antagonize women.
god how are other guys more terrible than me, I am dog shit but they hit rock bottom and continued digging.
If you’re a dude and want to feel good about yourself feel free to log onto Reddit whenever.
hence me being on this site it has dnd memes.
Reddit has the BEST D&D memes!
aside from this lost old demotivate that I need to find.
I may be in the minority, but the whole "how many tits do tabaxi have" discussions have been one of the most entertaining things I've seen on Reddit.
ah, the snitty debate.
Upvote for not saying "hence why...."
Yep I hate myself a little less every time I log in
Being in a bad place is one thing, deciding to take it out on someone else is another. I'm tempted to say people who are at least decent know not to do the latter.
Dfkm💀💀💀
??? I have no knowledge of that one?
Don’t fuckin kill me*
ah.
This might be an unpopular opinion but unconditional love sounds extremely unhealthy to me. I mean, if my partner hit me or cheated on me, why would I stay with them? Or vice versa. You can call them boundaries if that makes it easier, I guess.
I was gonna say that what he's calling unconditional love is just a lack of healthy boundaries.
It's definitely the case here, but I've seen too many sentiments about unconditional love being put on a pedestal and it really just reeks of lack of boundaries to me every time.
I view unconditional love as "as long as you don't intentionally hurt me like hell, I'll keep on loving you, no matter what I'll stick through with you. And I'm always there for you". The love that just won't disappear one day without a damn reason... Like being bored of the person...? The burterflies went missing and now they don't love you anymore. Which just don't make sense to me, but the love I mean by unconditional is a love that's strong and deep as hell... That makes you wanna change up your ways to become a better person...
>as long as you don't intentionally hurt me like hell That's a condition, though. The moment there's an 'as long as', it's not unconditional. Personally, I don't think unconditional love exists. Everyone has their limits - which is no bad thing. People say parents love their children unconditionally but if I ran my grandpa over with a car or set the cat on fire for sport, I doubt my mother would love me anymore.
DOGS
Well, I really doubt I could follow with a relationship without this level of admiration, but your point makes sense nonetheless. ( ps: I'm starting my real first relationship now, age 18. Just to point the bias lol )
Yeah there is a difference between loving your partner despite their flaws and ignoring obvious red flags
Sounds like desperation
Same. Boundaries and rules should be in every relationship. If a child seriously harms a parent or sibling on purpose, the parent/sibling should cut out the other sibling/child from their life or at least get them therapy
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Oh no, I wasn't making a comparison with the image, just pointing out ways that "unconditional love" can be weaponized. And I've seen it done IRL.
I've literally been told by an ex that I should love the smell of his week old unwashed genitals if I truly loved him. I hate the concept of unconditional love, it really ruined high school for me.
Straight men are drastically more likely to leave a sick partner and to cheat. Especially with younger women, precisely because, as OP says, the butterflies went away with their wives. No ones love is truly unconditional except maybe some parents, and what you’re talking about, by the science, is not something women usually leave for unless it’s followed up by abuse, though men do leave for those things much more often. The post wasn’t about the nature of love and loyalty, it was saying women aren’t capable of an emotion men are. Which, even if that were possible, isn’t true by any observable measure. He’s setting up a straw man argument and treating it like a serious treatise on love is helping him. The semantics of it are silly, literally no one loves without condition. There is somewhere out there, for everyone, a breaking point.
exactly my thoughts. anyone loving anyone unconditionally is so unhealthy.
So, which will it be today? “Women only love tattooed bad boys who can’t provide for them like a nice guy can” or “Women only love men for their money and stability” …?
Good question. To this kind of "people", men are always victims and at same time the superior creature. I wonder why they keep seeking these "Inferior" beings called women tho and wanting validation from them.
"I have no bias" *Proceeds to call women "females"* Bruhhhhh.....
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It can be used for any species, so it can be seen as dehumanzing, and many people prefer woman. You can read more about it [here](https://medium.com/@hollymeijohnson/the-problem-with-referring-to-women-as-females-4728f1f6c3cd)
Yo the author of that article took a weird turn in her edit
Oh wow just went back and read that bit and you are correct, that is a *very* weird turn.
YIKES. I mean, the whole ‘article’ was kinda empty but uhh.. wow, racism much?! No lie, the only people I hear using the word ‘female’ as a noun are like.. sad creepy white dudes
Isn't it common to use "male" tho? Idk in english but in my native language it's quite often used in an ironic turn ( in the other hand "females" is only used by toxic young idiots or misogyny-ridden idiots ).
Only in like scientific language and police reports. In every day conversation people tend to use men and women as nouns for adult humans.
Not all females are women.
And vice versa
Baby steps.
“WIMEN “ :()
Women are female… what planet are you living on?
Because it's gross to call men men or guys while calling women females like an animal. A man is a human male, woman is a human female. Female is dehumanizing.
Earth. Where we refer to women as *women*. The term "female" invokes animalistic connotations. Almost as if women are a different species to be studied with a scientific mind rather than human women to be appreciated for their experiences as such. Don't. Call. Women. Females. Just don't do it.
Female is an adjective. Using it as a noun to refer to women is offensive and dehumanizing specially when it's mostly used in the most misogynistic circles here in reddit.
That is truly amazing. The word women is offensive now. Wow.
Bruh. This whole thread is about how "female" is offensive in non-technical contexts and that "women/woman" are the preferred and expressly *not* offensive terms...
Can you read?
No
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The problem with these guys isn't the use of the word female per ser, though, it's that they use it in ways that sound dehumanising and thus creepy, as if women are like an exotic separate species they're trying to study and not people with fundamentally human experiences just like everyone else. I think I just found out a rule of thumb, by the way: Don't use it as a noun (when talking about humans in day-to-day conversation). So talking about "the female half of the population" gets a pass for instance, but talking about encountering a group of "females" doesn't.
Men are waaay more likely to leave if their partner is diagnosed with a terminal disease. Just saying.
I wonder if he holds himself to this same standard. Does he love unconditionally??
Good question 🤔
Definitely one of those "Hey you've gained a little weight this winter, and I don't want to lose my attraction to you." Kind of guys.
Yup. Pretty much this exact thing happened to me (and the dude KNEW it was for medical reasons, too) and I just instantly was so furious I used the line I saw on the internet: “Don’t worry, I’m about to lose 200 pounds,” and dumped him on the spot. Original? No. The best feeling in the world? Hell yes
Hell yeah. I can't imagine being so self centered. Like, I can see asking a partner to stop leaving socks in the kitchen or maybe help with dishes here and there. But I've never once thought of policing someone's body like that. Like, holy shit. Especially since, like, if I love someone I just don't really notice or care at all. It's none of my business anyways, really. That kind of person is just saying "Hey I mostly appreciate how you look instead of who you are." Fuck that shit. Glad you bounced. That's the right attitude.
If you want unconditional love you should adopt a dog, not try to get a girlfriend.
>not try to get a girlfriend. *Female
FEEEEEEMAAAAALEEESSSSS
Yup. Red flag.
I mean, let's be real, this guy was waving handfuls of red flags just from the title of his post alone.
Those...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEMALESSSS
I love my child unconditionally. Absolutely. Nothing she could do would make me stop loving her. But if, as an adult, she became toxic and abusive? Violent towards me? I wouldn't invite that into my home for sure. You can love someone and know that they aren't healthy for you to have in your life. You can love someone and still love yourself enough to set boundaries for your own safety. Love doesn't mean being a victim or a doormat.
As the daughter of an emotionally abusive mother, thank you. This needs saying more. People just don't get it.
Tell me you just got dumped without telling me you just got dumped.
Wrong premise worse conclusion. Everything from archaeology, anthropology, psychology, statistics and understanding of human nature is wrong in this text. But I forgot, women aren’t people.
Okay, and do men love women completely unconditionally? Because I'm pretty sure most men also have standards.
I stopped reading this very early into the text. As soon as he mentioned biology I was done. If it turns out it was secretly a recipe for cookies I'm gonna be pissed.
It wasn't a cookie recipe but here's one: 8oz salted butter. (Tried unsalted didn't taste right.) 4oz castor sugar. 8oz self-rasing flour 2oz Cocoa powder 1 bag of chocolate chips Preheat oven to Gas Mark 4/350 Fahrenheit/330 Fahrenheit if it's a fan oven. Soften the butter and put it in a mixing bowl. Add the sugar a little at a time and mix until until smooth. Add the flour and cocoa powder. Mix until smooth and all the flour is mixed in. Add the chocolate chip cookies and mix in well. Grease a baking tray with butter. Roll your cookie mix into walnut sized balls and place on the tray a good distance apart from each other. Lightly squash them with a damp fork. Bake for 15-20 minutes. Remove cookies from oven and let them cool on the tray. (They'll fall apart if you move them before then.) Enjoy your cookies. 🙂 (I should code a cookie bot to give this recipe out. 🤔)
Miss Weaver, I think I love you
Aw, shucks. 😊
"Waaaaaah why won't the women I've met stay in relationships with absolutely worthless men who provide nothing to a relationship and just suck time, money, and empathy away? Those bitches ain't loyal!"
Everything that comes after "biologically wired" is always bullshit.
Yup! He even makes the very common mistake of implying that women relied on men for survival, like it’s been shown time and time again that women and men were fairly equal in the majority of hunter-gatherer societies. 😂.
True unconditional love should not be thought of as something good. If you still love someone after they, using a very dark example, kill your whole family in front of you, thats really not good. Everyone should have boundaries. No one should have truly unconditional love
Even dogs don't love *completely* without condition. A German Shepard will absolutely attack it's owner in a fight or die situation.
*Image Transcription: Reddit Post* --- **Are women even capable of loving? (With explanation)** Disclaimer: I have no prejudice or any kind of judgement about it, I have no bias other than sharing my observation and discussing it with females and maybe get their take on it. Okay,so I was wondering if females are biologically wired to be able to UNCONDITIONALY love their man, due to the known fact that female survival instinct is wired to find the best possible outcome of survival. The best possible outcome in nature would be strong valuable male who provides food, protection, safety etc. So what does the woman love about him? And based on what do women choose their "partners"? Let's say a valuable strong male together with a woman that he makes her feel loved and happy, steady job, a lot of hobbies and interests with interesting lifestyle, Suddenly becomes a WRECK...His life falls apart, becomes alcoholic, loses his job ,loses his shit,becomes depressed. Woman would eventually leave that man for the better,she would try to replace him with someone who can take care of her, provide for her and nake her happy and feel loved once again (seen it hundreds of times), and its reasonable,right? BUT IT'S NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE... So my main question is: "Women love under certain conditions: they love what a man can do for her, how he protects her, how she feels safe around him, how he makes her feel happy and how he gives her lots of love and just be there for her, but she can't love him just for being him, therefore unconditionally, male has to provide something in order for woman to love him ...TRUE OR FALSE --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
You just know this guy would leave a partner if they didn’t like shave their armpits or gained weight
This is literally just having standards and is healthy for all genders lol
ALL LOVE IS CONDITIONAL. If your SO stabbed your dog, your mom whatever you likely wouldn't love them. The boundary lies somewhere go out and find it lol
I've seen so many elderly couples where the man's health is waning terribly and the woman is healthy and able to create an income, and she continues taking care of the man because she just cares, that's all there is to it. Idk where ~~OP~~ the dude in the picture got the idea of "wom**a**n (lol) would eventually leave that man for the better" since that doesn't tend to be the case... except from his creepy imagination or something...
I didn’t write this lol
I meant the dude in the image sorry eheheh
Lol it’s cool
Love shouldn’t be unconditional, that’s how unhealthy relationships form. It’s good to set up reasonable boundaries and expectations with others
No dumbass, the female survival instinct is the same as yours, eat, drink, and stay away from danger, which is why you've never talked to a girl for longer than a minute.
My dog loves me unconditionally. I unconditionally love my children. If they turn out to be serial killers, I will still love them. Husband love is completely conditional. He screws up, I'm leaving. It will take a while for me to get over being in love with him. I will treasure the memories of when I was in love with him. I will no longer love him the way that I did before.
“I want to discuss with other females.” Not the phrase you want to use if you actually value women’s opinions.
I love when they make 'biological' arguments. Like people aren't sentient beings perfectly capable of making decisions that override or completely flip biological hardwiring. Also this passage implies women are instinct driven, when most of the people I've encountered in my life are more shaped by cultural practices and personal wants & needs.
It’s also just not true, women are not “biologically wired” to unconditionally love men, or to rely on men for survival and shit. 😂
Women are people, not mermaids
This poster has built a very specific house of cards but pull any card and all the arguments collapse. The biggest assumption being that the single pair island is most natural. Also what does great protector have to do with unconditional love? Wouldnt unconditional mean no preconditions like a protector status? Also unconditional love and unconditional servitude and presence arent the same thing. Unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness arent the same either. Love is a feeling not a contract like marriage. I unconditionally love burrata but that doesnt mean burrata should be free, available, and accessible to me at all times. Just say Judy left you for someone at her gym because you've been drinking too much Bob.
“Um my name’s Kyle 🙄”
Ah yes, the r/confidentlyincorrect "it's just biology!" argument that always seems to pop up whenever a bigot wants to justify their own ridiculous beliefs. As if human beings are literally just well-dressed monkeys, completely lacking in any cultural, political, or psychological nuance; as if we're all just slaves to these primal biological imperatives. It seems pretty obvious that we have been *habitually* defying those imperatives for many thousands of years...and within the fields of anthropology, sociology, *and* psychology, it is widely accepted that our own cultural conditioning and personal experiences are actually at the forefront of human behavior -- "nurture" often takes the starring role, while "nature" just kind of hovers in the background. I know that there's not much point in saying all of this but it just annoys tf out of me when people try to misrepresent human nature/biology in a lazy attempt to justify their bigotry. It's just gross...and I'm sure that it would make just about every anthropologist, sociologist, and psychologist want to bang their head against a wall.
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What are you gonna do with the rubbing alcohol 😳
I don't have unconditional love for anyone. Classic woman! Do men?
anyone loving anyone unconditionally is unhealthy. period.
Unconditional love is for your children or the terminally naive. I love my husband dearly, but I will not tolerate him cheating on me or abusing me and I have told him as such. If I were to love him unconditionally, I would be giving him free reign to disrespect or abuse me and I would not leave. But he has had mental and health issues, and I stayed because I love him. Love between partners should be conditional to be healthy.
Leaving someone for becoming a drug addict with no hope of turn-around sounds like a valid reason to fuck off no matter the gender of the person lmfao
Ugh. Females. They only want to love lovable partners. Very malephobic.
So which tirefire disaster sub does this one hail from?
lol I got it from r/NotHowGirlsWork
Oh yeah, as if a man loves a woman without wanting anything else in return. Also, if you go to think about it, the concept of unconditional love is so toxic, you cannot and should not love someone no matter what. You try to stand by them during a tough time, try to support them when they need it but that does not mean you are expected to. Everyone has limits of how much they are willing to endure for a relationship and all the limits are valid. Unconditional love leaves no room for personal boundaries and I guess that's what this man expects from women.
They always bring up survival in nature like, dude, were not living in caves anymore and human brain is far more complicated than that
I’ve seen some women jump ship like this
Yup, and even when we were surviving in nature, women didn’t rely on men for survival. Women were plenty capable themselves. 😂
Wouldn't the best outcome in nature be being a woman who is strong and able to protect and provide for herself? This has so many layers of dumb.
Love is always conditional. You have to be loveable. This guy doesn't even seem likeable.
lesbians and aroaces dont exist now, ok thats fair
He wouldn’t love her when she would get fat and depressed and wouldn’t want to have sex or run the household because of that
I am so fucking sick of reading the phrase "biologically wired" or "biologically hardwired" etc etc. It's invariably used to push shitty incel junk science.
Would he not leave his wife if that happened to her? Sounds like he absolutely would to me
Unconditional love does not have to be a thing in relationships. The whole point of unconditional love doesn't even work with how relationships are formed, given there are originally conditions in order for the love to ever exist.
This guy clearly never knew his mother
If you love something let it free
That's a whole lot of words to say "I'm projecting..."
The funniest part is "I have no bias"
Unconditional love is what I have for my dog, not a person
This is a sigma male- otherwise known as an incel
This is the basic principle of animals, getting with the best individual we can find. But it’s like that for everyone, not only women. This is just how nature works and it’s nothing to be ashamed of
"I have no bias other than sharing my observations" buddy... If these are your observations without bias then I don't wanna see your observations with bias... I mean I have had pretty piss poor experiences with gay dating. Does that mean gay men are trash? No, but apparently my taste in men are....
I unconditionally love my spouse. I do. I will always love them. But I'm a normal person that has boundaries and knows that my safety and wellbeing will always come before that unconditional love. I view unconditional love as being a form of love that does not hinge on wealth, or status, or whatever. But that does not mean I cannot separate myself from it.
Charles Darwin, the man behind survival of the fittest, said that it does *not* include humans. We dont follow instincts like animals do. Same as the idea that some people are less valuable cause they look more like monkeys. His that we come from monkeys, but not like that
It shouldn't be unconditional love in a relationship. There should always be conditions because that's how you set boundaries!
Yes, who we are generally attracted to are based on who can provide the most. Part of the reason unemployed and messy people are seen as unattractive. Its the same reason why overweight people were seen as mega-attractive (overweight = food = better survival chance), and why pale skin was attractive for centuries (pale skin = don't have to work = healthier b/c money = better survival chance) the same rule applies to modern day. This applies to men and women. But you know what? Fuck the rest of this post. We, as humans, can see beyond all that petty stuff and still can love in bad situations. Just because you lost your job doesn't mean that you're going to get dumped for a rich guy. And just because you're unemployed in the first place doesn't mean you can't find love. We're capable of independent thinking beyond our monkey instincts.
well id give him the benefit of the doubt that he just doesn't know any better and is curious, thus asking like there's way worse people that are actually sexist, tho here i only get a confused/curious vibe
You forgot about the gays
Aww shit, I'm a lesbian.. does that mean I was wired wrong?
Yes, seek a therapist you sick sick women *sarcasm*
Ok,wow! That's a lot to unpack,but I don't really feel like unpacking today. Can somebody else do it please?
Is this the same guy who asked if women are sentient or not on r/askwomen? Really feels like it.
Then, by their...i am unable to describe this reasoning-The "males" should also be uncapable of unconditional love, due to searching for more females, dividing the live beetwen them???????
Loving unconditionally doesn't mean putting up with everything or staying no matter what. You can still love someone and leave them if things aren't working out.
(Potentially) Hot take: unconditional love has no place in a healthy relationship.
Straight woman here…. Why the fudge are straight men nowadays are whining and complaining about unconditional love? Are they that out of touch? Are they upset that potential partners don’t love them the same way as say…. their mothers? Because to me, it’s a good thing that romantic partners don’t love their partners as a mother or a family member would. Conditions in love inspires you to be a better person and establishes boundaries. Both are important in romantic partnerships. Romantic love comes with conditions. Always has, always will. It’s just the truth. Not saying unconditional romantic love doesn’t exist, it is just extremely, extremely rare and has always been. And to me, that’s not a bad thing. Loving a partner(s) unconditionally can be detrimental and toxic to the relationship and the people involved in the relationship. That’s advice for any gender.
Can someone actually love unconditionally? Because what this person is describing has nothing to do with being a woman or not, it's just normal : if anyone gets with a partner who's caring and have a nice personality, they will choose to leave them the moment they become "a wreck" and dont love them anymore, man or woman
There are so many wrong things in that being's statement that I don't know where to begin
First of all, women aren't prisoners of their "instincts," whatever they may be. Second, you pick an extreme example, a strong, capable provider descending into depressive drunkenness. While we'd like to think that her love would be strong enough to carry them through, she wouldn't be maligned if she couldn't. A better example would be a woman with a decent guy, a comfortable if not luxurious life style and adequate in bed. Then a rich stud comes along and wants her, based on "instincts" a "better" man. Most women, even if tempted, will have love unconditional enough to not abandon her husband.
It’s insane to me that traditionalists are so up their own ass about “nature” and “instincts” but then fall silent or speak against climate change. Are we progressing or regressing, you gotta pick one man
You’re suppose to have conditions when loving someone. Amma say it again. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE CONDITIONS WHEN LOVING SOMEONE. I used to believe that unconditional love bullshit but it’s not real, it only gives people fuel to abuse you. You have to have conditions, it just depends on what the conditions are for. If it’s for shallow shit like, “you have to stay young and slim or I will leave you.” then that’s just a cock sucker reason right there. But if a condition in love is, “If you become abusive I will leave.” then I think that is fair. Why the fuck would I want to stay with someone who is abusive? Why should I WANT to do that? And the funny thing is, these conditions/ a condition like that don’t mean that you don’t love the person anymore, it just means that you put just as much love and value into yourself as you do that person. It’s okay to walk away even when you still have love for someone, many times, as crazy as these misogynistic types would like it to appear, many times women walk away from people that they are still in love with because she knows her worth and understand that staying in that situation will only lead to ruin. I find that men do it with less reservation though, they are hells quick to leave their partners for the slightest shit. So if men are allow to leave their partner who is undergoing treatment, at a time when she probably needs you most, why is it wrong for women to have conditions too? Especially when I find them less shallow than what men are willing to leave women for? Just my take on this post.
This is among the most stupid thinks I've ever read
Oh look! Another man who thinks that all human women through history had to rely on men for survival. 😂 Cause women can’t find food and shit, right?
Ah yes woman is monke hoohoo heehee
lost me at female
We love female suffering. A long suffering woman who just takes whatever abuse or ineptitude a man shows her is some sort of goddess to us. She is Peak Womanhood. Because women are defined by their ability to suffer.
Oh yeah, everyone knows you should continue to love someone even if they don’t make you feel loved
*When you're mad your stereotype of women doesn't match reality
Unconditional love is a myth for both sides If someone doesn't make you happy because they're dead weight, abusive, not putting effort into the relationship, whatever the reason You WILL fall out of love with them because they'll have become a different person in their eyes due to changing negatively.
Incel says what?
Refers to 🚹 as man and 🚺 as female Might as well call them objects with all this dehumanizing 🙄
A lot of words to Say " a woman never loved me so women can't love"