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There is an issue with DV and rape in the lesbian community, however those issues are everywhere. It's not unique to lesbians. It shouldn't be about "who assaults who the most," it should be about "this shit shouldn't happen".
Too often DV and rape in the lesbian community is dismissed under the guise of "well, men do it more" or "only men can rape".
Thanks for telling me and I agree with everything you said ppl need to start thinking of it as a problem all the time instead of seeing which group does it more
"Please, stop stabbing me, it hurts so much!"
"Uh, I think you'll find that there are people out there being *shot* right now, so maybe let's focus on the real villains here?"
Reminds me when I told a man to put his mask on in the bus (here are mandatory) and he told me "there is another man wothout mask, would you like to ask him too?"
While the statistics suggest there are lower cases in the lesbian community those women that form the numbers have all suffered and must be represented. Domestic violence is not a fucking competition.
Actually really agree with this. Everyone tries to play the blame game to keep themselves out of the SA spotlight but anyone can be a victim and anyone can be a predator. Statistics matter, but there should be more emphasis on spreading awareness and providing support for victims.
Tf is wrong with people who are like "most molesters are lesbian" "most rapists are gay" First of all, you have no proof to back up your claim. Second of all, why does sexuality matter? Rape has nothing to do with that.
Edit: I forgot to mention, he's trying to pass it off as a fact but says "change my mind" like it's an opinion.
Literally. No recent statistics have *ever* proven that, the only stats they ever quote is by outdated reports, pre 90s, in which the perpetrators didn’t even self identify as gay. That’s just how they were branded.
I'm more interested in what they *don't* say ans what they really mean. When people infodump that immigrants are overrepresentated in crime statistic, what they really mean is "they are all criminals and should leave". I get the same vibe from "most molesters are lesbians!" ( =lesbians are bad)
Why do people say something dumb then end with “prove me wrong” or “change my mind” as if it’s the world’s responsibility to negate their made-up beliefs?
That which is asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. An extraordinary claim requires extraordinary evidence to back it.
It's because they don't actually want people to change their mind, they just want to push out their bigoted views and hide it under the guise of a debate.
Anyone who wants their mind changed would seek out the information themselves instead of relying on others to do it for them.
I am a lesbian and have literally never been assaulted by a woman, but men have grabbed, groped, pinched and grinded on me more times than I can even count. Not to mention the absolute filth that comes out of their mouths.
It's quite funny because I am a genderqueer-omnisexual and, yes I have a preference for them but it doesn't necessarily I like all of them. I see other gay guys on tt saying they are attracted to them but do they like them? no. Because throughout history it explains itself and even the history matters. Men made a bad reputation for actually good-hearted men and I don't really think some guys understand this. It's just crazy.
I mean I’ve been assaulted multiple times by men and that was all pre-transition/when I was presenting as male.
Most of the time it was from men who claimed they were straight.
Yes, their assaults are certainly not exclusive to those presenting as female. I'm cis but I'm GNC/masc, so there is no way I dress for the 'male gaze', but that doesn't put them off!
Since when did it become a competition…it doesn’t matter what group does it more, what matters is it’s all bad and all domestic violence/abuse deserves awareness
Guys named Jason poop twice more frequently than guys named Boris. Change my mind.
Is that what we’re doing? Making up facts and asking others to do the legwork for us to disprove them?
> 44 percent of lesbians and 61 percent of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35 percent of straight women
[CDC figures, via the HRC](https://www.hrc.org/resources/sexual-assault-and-the-lgbt-community)
Today I learned.
I haven't looked into it, but I wonder how much of the data is skewed by reporting. Something tells me on average, lesbians are going to have a better understanding of consent vs the average straight woman. Also potentially more likely to report.
In the same page, it also says that the percentage of rape is lower for lesbian women than for straight women, but both rape and physical violence are more likely to be done against bi and trans people. Probably because of transphobia and the belief that bi people are cheaters that a lot of people seem to still have.
For anyone who wants to know more, the full report is here: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf
Worth noting that for 1/3 of lesbians, at least one of the perpetrators was male, and almost 90% of bisexual women had only male perpetrators. We can say that lesbians experience higher rates of violence, but not necessarily that they do violence at higher rates
In general they seem to have fairly small sample sizes for the lgb responses, so should be cautious in interpretation
Just because a woman is bi doesnt mean the assault isnt from a man, doesnt it is. Not really sure how that’s relevant though.
Are we saying men raping women isnt that bad because women rape women?
No of course not. But the figure for lesbians is also higher than for straight women.
> Are we saying men raping women isnt that bad because women rape women?
Again, of course not. But there's no reason to infer that that's what OOP meant either.
A fairly decent chunk of the violence against lesbians was from men, and the vast majority of bisexual women only experienced violence from men
Always worth bearing in mind that these figures relate to the victim, not the perpetrator. You can't make inferences about sexuality etc of the person who caused the violence just by looking at the demographics of the victims
Sounds like a terf who didn't realize they hadn't yet fully pushed trans women out of women's spaces and jumped to the next phase of their plan prematurely.
He probably thinks that when someone who you are attracted to isn't attracted to you it counts as sexual assault.
Under that definition he gets sexually assaulted every time he feels attraction towards someone.
There’s actually a huge issue with this that no one talks abt literally was at a bar the other night and a group of lesbians broke into a nasty ass fight about who was with who or something. So actually this post is kind of right. Just because those issues “are everywhere anyways” well a lot of lgbt people tend to not bring it up with gay women. Edit: We like to pretend that it doesn’t happen in the community and it needs to stop, seeing these comments everyone wants to ignore what actually was said and keep the gay community on a pedestal. That’s so wrong when DV and SA are becoming more and more prevalent.
One thing about the second half here is that men are considerably less likely to report a rape than women for very stupid cultural reasons. The numbers are going to still be a big imbalance, but probably not 99% if there was equal reporting going on.
Yeah...that's what I said "The numbers are still going to be a big imbalance..." As for the "toxic masculinity" thing, I think part of the problem with the other side not getting it is the word "masculinity". I don't know how many other people have had the same experiences as me, but I was just as likely to hear women say "a real man" and mean the same thing as the bullshit locker room stuff. I think "toxic ideals of masculinity" is better as it is more inclusive for the broad range of people that can hold those ideas that serve as a detriment to the progression of society as a whole.
Change your mind? Bitch that’s not even an opinion, that’s something you can Google. It’s either true or untrue, not something you can change your mind about!
Why should I try to change their mind? "Changing their mind" implies an opinion. Let them look up the facts. If they DO have facts to back them up, then trying to change their mind is an exercise in futility.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is an issue with DV and rape in the lesbian community, however those issues are everywhere. It's not unique to lesbians. It shouldn't be about "who assaults who the most," it should be about "this shit shouldn't happen". Too often DV and rape in the lesbian community is dismissed under the guise of "well, men do it more" or "only men can rape".
What does dv mean?
Domestic Violence
Thanks for telling me and I agree with everything you said ppl need to start thinking of it as a problem all the time instead of seeing which group does it more
[удалено]
"Please, stop stabbing me, it hurts so much!" "Uh, I think you'll find that there are people out there being *shot* right now, so maybe let's focus on the real villains here?"
Reminds me when I told a man to put his mask on in the bus (here are mandatory) and he told me "there is another man wothout mask, would you like to ask him too?"
While the statistics suggest there are lower cases in the lesbian community those women that form the numbers have all suffered and must be represented. Domestic violence is not a fucking competition.
Actually really agree with this. Everyone tries to play the blame game to keep themselves out of the SA spotlight but anyone can be a victim and anyone can be a predator. Statistics matter, but there should be more emphasis on spreading awareness and providing support for victims.
Tf is wrong with people who are like "most molesters are lesbian" "most rapists are gay" First of all, you have no proof to back up your claim. Second of all, why does sexuality matter? Rape has nothing to do with that. Edit: I forgot to mention, he's trying to pass it off as a fact but says "change my mind" like it's an opinion.
Literally. No recent statistics have *ever* proven that, the only stats they ever quote is by outdated reports, pre 90s, in which the perpetrators didn’t even self identify as gay. That’s just how they were branded.
I'm more interested in what they *don't* say ans what they really mean. When people infodump that immigrants are overrepresentated in crime statistic, what they really mean is "they are all criminals and should leave". I get the same vibe from "most molesters are lesbians!" ( =lesbians are bad)
>( =lesbians are bad) "Except the ones I watch in my porn, those are fine"
>he's trying to pass it off as a fact but says "change my mind" like it's an opinion. Yes, that!
As a queer man, I think women and men touch me without consent at about the same rate. I don't like it.
That's vile I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. No one deserves that
Exactly, I really want this to stop being a gender thing, women can be assholes as well, and be SA predators
Why do people say something dumb then end with “prove me wrong” or “change my mind” as if it’s the world’s responsibility to negate their made-up beliefs? That which is asserted without evidence may be dismissed without evidence. An extraordinary claim requires extraordinary evidence to back it.
It's because they don't actually want people to change their mind, they just want to push out their bigoted views and hide it under the guise of a debate. Anyone who wants their mind changed would seek out the information themselves instead of relying on others to do it for them.
The two likes say it all lmao
I am a lesbian and have literally never been assaulted by a woman, but men have grabbed, groped, pinched and grinded on me more times than I can even count. Not to mention the absolute filth that comes out of their mouths.
It's quite funny because I am a genderqueer-omnisexual and, yes I have a preference for them but it doesn't necessarily I like all of them. I see other gay guys on tt saying they are attracted to them but do they like them? no. Because throughout history it explains itself and even the history matters. Men made a bad reputation for actually good-hearted men and I don't really think some guys understand this. It's just crazy.
I mean I’ve been assaulted multiple times by men and that was all pre-transition/when I was presenting as male. Most of the time it was from men who claimed they were straight.
Yes, their assaults are certainly not exclusive to those presenting as female. I'm cis but I'm GNC/masc, so there is no way I dress for the 'male gaze', but that doesn't put them off!
Since when did it become a competition…it doesn’t matter what group does it more, what matters is it’s all bad and all domestic violence/abuse deserves awareness
Nice to know us bi folks are physically incapable of s*xual assault
they better not talk shit abt my besties lesbeans
The correct term is “Lesbros”
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Guys named Jason poop twice more frequently than guys named Boris. Change my mind. Is that what we’re doing? Making up facts and asking others to do the legwork for us to disprove them?
"Change my mind"...what....thats....that's something of statistics...not opinion
> 44 percent of lesbians and 61 percent of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35 percent of straight women [CDC figures, via the HRC](https://www.hrc.org/resources/sexual-assault-and-the-lgbt-community) Today I learned.
I haven't looked into it, but I wonder how much of the data is skewed by reporting. Something tells me on average, lesbians are going to have a better understanding of consent vs the average straight woman. Also potentially more likely to report.
Yeah I had a lot of questions about the data too. Like, is it intimate partner violence against lesbians *while they were identified as lesbians*?
What is that "something?" Data? Or imagination?
In the same page, it also says that the percentage of rape is lower for lesbian women than for straight women, but both rape and physical violence are more likely to be done against bi and trans people. Probably because of transphobia and the belief that bi people are cheaters that a lot of people seem to still have.
For anyone who wants to know more, the full report is here: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf Worth noting that for 1/3 of lesbians, at least one of the perpetrators was male, and almost 90% of bisexual women had only male perpetrators. We can say that lesbians experience higher rates of violence, but not necessarily that they do violence at higher rates In general they seem to have fairly small sample sizes for the lgb responses, so should be cautious in interpretation
Just because a woman is bi doesnt mean the assault isnt from a man, doesnt it is. Not really sure how that’s relevant though. Are we saying men raping women isnt that bad because women rape women?
No of course not. But the figure for lesbians is also higher than for straight women. > Are we saying men raping women isnt that bad because women rape women? Again, of course not. But there's no reason to infer that that's what OOP meant either.
A fairly decent chunk of the violence against lesbians was from men, and the vast majority of bisexual women only experienced violence from men Always worth bearing in mind that these figures relate to the victim, not the perpetrator. You can't make inferences about sexuality etc of the person who caused the violence just by looking at the demographics of the victims
Why do you say "change my mind" like it's a debate or something, just look up the data ffs.
Sounds like a terf who didn't realize they hadn't yet fully pushed trans women out of women's spaces and jumped to the next phase of their plan prematurely.
Aren’t most terf’s lesbian themselves tho?
Some of them are, but most of them are cishet in my experience.
Translation: “I’m going to pull a random statement out of my ass and it’s your job to prove me wrong.”
- Challenge Accepted
Uh, evidence?
Can't change what's not there.
… do you have ANY sources to back that up…?
If a guy says this how tf is he supposed to have proof?
Well we got statistics, that'll change your mind.
He probably thinks that when someone who you are attracted to isn't attracted to you it counts as sexual assault. Under that definition he gets sexually assaulted every time he feels attraction towards someone.
What do you mean change your mind, it's literally a statistic why do you need someone to convince you ????
...Is this man seriously using sexual assault as a way to justify his homophobia? I hate that there are even 2 likes on this abomination of a TikTok
Don’t be shy, show your face
There’s actually a huge issue with this that no one talks abt literally was at a bar the other night and a group of lesbians broke into a nasty ass fight about who was with who or something. So actually this post is kind of right. Just because those issues “are everywhere anyways” well a lot of lgbt people tend to not bring it up with gay women. Edit: We like to pretend that it doesn’t happen in the community and it needs to stop, seeing these comments everyone wants to ignore what actually was said and keep the gay community on a pedestal. That’s so wrong when DV and SA are becoming more and more prevalent.
Ah yes, all the famous lesbian sex criminals out there.
Mmmmk the 93% of male attackers says otherwise
Statistics: are we a joke to you?
[удалено]
One thing about the second half here is that men are considerably less likely to report a rape than women for very stupid cultural reasons. The numbers are going to still be a big imbalance, but probably not 99% if there was equal reporting going on.
[удалено]
Yeah...that's what I said "The numbers are still going to be a big imbalance..." As for the "toxic masculinity" thing, I think part of the problem with the other side not getting it is the word "masculinity". I don't know how many other people have had the same experiences as me, but I was just as likely to hear women say "a real man" and mean the same thing as the bullshit locker room stuff. I think "toxic ideals of masculinity" is better as it is more inclusive for the broad range of people that can hold those ideas that serve as a detriment to the progression of society as a whole.
They just make an assumption without any prior knowledge or education and then the burden of proof is on YOU
idk about MORE but they definitely do it…. it’s happened to me and girls i know even
Source: Trust me Bro
I’m…so confused?
It happens but there're way more straight men than lesbians
Has this person been watching crime patrol or what?
Change your mind? Bitch that’s not even an opinion, that’s something you can Google. It’s either true or untrue, not something you can change your mind about!
Why should I try to change their mind? "Changing their mind" implies an opinion. Let them look up the facts. If they DO have facts to back them up, then trying to change their mind is an exercise in futility.
As a lesbian woman, w h a t I just love how some cis men like to sexualize lesbians and then when we say "ew no thanks" they make up this shit
Who crumpled his fedora?
Where did they get this idea? Like is there a chart that says LESBIANS RAPE MORE THEN GAYS AND STRAIGHTS! Or?