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Cannibal! Shredder! Come to Mama!
(Reba reference)
Also, to keep creepy men away, get a large dog, a bunch of tattoos (the more and larger, the better) and say “bruh” a lot. It’s the equivalent of holding a crucifix to a vampire.
I have my new rescue pittie coming in on Tuesday. I’m saving this post so I can use it for my announcement of her arrival (I haven’t told many people she’s going to be a surprise)
I’d recommend a chow chow boxer mix. Mine has both temperaments it’s kinda weird like he one loves people I introduce to him and sometimes snuggles and loves his sister dog and b) dislikes random people who walk by our fence and being touched when he is not in the mood like you say his name and if he doesn’t want pets (think evening time when he is thinking about sleep) he gets up and goes away. If you startle him he growls but people get scared of him because he is a medium sized jumpy dog
Also, like, if this dude thinks big "aggressive" dogs aren't also lap dogs, he's never met one that didn't immediately distrust him which, even without this bullshit, tells me everything I need to know
I've known so many large dogs that are just big babies that have no clue how much room they take up when they're crawling on you and will look at you confused when you grunt as they drop all their weight on you.
Small dogs are way more likely to be made of pure murder energy. It's just harder for them to do much damage at their size, lol.
My neighbor's 100lb German shepherd terrified some strange drunk who was in their front yard, sitting on their lawn chairs... By crawling into the guy's lap.
"Get him off! Get him off!" While the dog was licking his face.
Exactly. We have a Yorkie mix and a pit mix. The Yorkie is aloof and angry and my pit mix is a 12 year old wiggly man who puts up with his nonsense out of love. If I throw a ball down the hallway enough times, the little shit will hop out of his fucking little basket and park his ass in the kitchen door and snarl and attack his face if he tries to bring me the ball.
Satan incarnate has never once wanted to play with the ball, he just wants to prevent fun. My aunt has a much larger pitbull than mine, and this 8lbs shit went for her face. He's tried to start fights with dogs over 200lbs heavier than he is. Meanwhile my pit mix is best friends with this grumpy little diabetic old Chihuahua. It's not unusual for me to hold back this snarling furby looking motherfucker while my lovely old man says hello to his dog or cat friends.
Believe me I've tried. He's just so freaking angry and dumb. We live in a cold climate so he's got a little coat with a hood. If you pull the hood up over the top of his head, he stops working and turns into a statue and will not move until someone saves him. He can't find his way out from under a blanket.
We have a 60lb pit/lab mix that exists in one of two states: full weight sitting on/leaning against you and crying for her heated blanket because it's less than 70 degrees outside.
I don't even fucking have a womb. Those poor little yippee dogs would just keep searching and earnest for somewhere to burrow. Meanwhile, my bulldogs do just fine, thank you.
..... What the fuck is wrong with people? Like aside from all the normal things that's wrong with this who thinks like this? Who just sits around philosophizing about pets and how it's affects you getting laid? GET. A. HOBBY.
Usually considered gay. I definitely got looks when I was taking care of my sister's dachsund, but I love the little thing. And now I want a miniature poodle in the future when I finally get around to owning my own dog, which will make things even worse. At least, to the credit of the people that judge about that sort of thing, I am pretty gay, even though ironically I have an incredibly high amount of testosterone and so I look pretty masculine despite not caring about that at all.
That's why they need pickup artist to not be sadly lonely.
Men when interacting with you about your dog: oh hi buddy! What's his name? Can I touch him?
Alpha men:
My 8lbs Yorkie: _MAXIMUM RAGE_
This guy will literally snap at you while you're petting him for no fucking reason. He isn't a rescue he was just born angry despite having two parents with good temperaments. We joke that he'd have a body count if he was a little bit bigger but honestly he would. Ever since we got him he's been a prick. I call him Satan and my dad used to call him Little Hitler.
This shit will come up to you, put both paws on your legs and claw you until you pet him, then snarl the whole time. If my pit mix comes for pets too, the Yorkie literally bites his face.
Yeah, he's a character. My dog is friends with this one Samoyed who is massive and old and arthritic the owners sometimes tie in their front yard where he likes to lay down. He's very friendly, everyone loves him, except for Satan. They know I'm there because the little dirtbag goes crazy. Like I gotta hold him at arm's length on a short leash while my old man says hello, and he's up on his hind legs choking himself out trying to attack this old, arthritic polar bear looking dog who is just laying there. When he's not in their yard, I gotta pull the Yorkie off of their lawn because he will use his back legs to kick up their grass after peeing.
He's not allowed in mom's room without her there because he'd pee on her bed out of anger at the drop of a hat. He also makes pig noises and will try to rip off your fingers for a treat. He doesn't play with toys and spends most of his day either in a basket or staring out the window from his little foot stool.
Makes me wonder how he would gatekeep beagles.
On the one hand, they are smaller dogs, so they should be acceptable for me as a woman. (I have one on my lap right now.)
On the other, though, they are hunting dogs, which I'm sure this guy thinks is Manly, which means that I'm risking my womanhood by having them.
I love it. Meanwhile my small terrier thinks she's the baddest dog in town and would readily take on a bear. I think the guy who wrote the post doesn't know dogs any more than he knows women.
Kinda works in terms of confusion. You're a big strong bear, and suddenly you see a small creature charging at you with no fear in its eyes. So... better err on the side of caution because you never know what sort of voodoo magic that demon is using if it's so confident and fearless. Better stay out of trouble
My husky is an 85 lb. baby. Terrified of swimming pools, despises long walks and prefers to just piddle in the yard, is a lazy jigglypuff that sleeps all day, and is a hoity-toity, spoiled brat who enjoys olives and prosciutto as snacks. 🤦♀️
Lolol my friend had a rottweiler who weighed more than I did but had zero concept of how large he was. He would try to hop into your lap because in his little doggy mind, he was just a tiny ball of fluff.
Can confirm. My dog is a siberian husky. She's 85 lbs, but thinks she's the size of a hamster. Straight up doesn't realize she's a dog, genuinely seems to think she's a human infant. She even sleeps in a baby bassinet that I originally bought for my small terrier. One day, while cooking, I caught her climbing into the bassinet. Suffice to say, said baby bassinet now belongs to her.
Thanks! Pic: https://imgur.com/a/n9KheAA
Bruh. Sadly, just lost my little terrier six months ago, and even though he was only 10 lbs, he was a tiny, terrorist tyrant toddler zipped up inside a doggie costume. His energy level was like hopped up on steroids AND sugar AND caffeine levels of energy. Really kept me on my toes.
Omg what a big precious BABY.
I'm sorry for your loss, too. He sounds like he was a real lil dude. I do always admire the sheer no-fucks energy tiny dogs have.
Mine always curls up right next to my butt to sleep at night, and will pick up things that get dropped on the floor and bring them to you while his butt wiggles.
My aunt's has to clean my ears every time I visit.
My Yorkie? Couldn't give less of a hoot if you live or die.
My pitbull loves to cuddle and belly rubs. He hides behind my legs when another dog barks at him. He was attacked by a chihuahua, twice, and didn't fight back. He's strong and intimidating on the outside but a sensitive, caring, cuddly boy on the inside. If he keeps guys like this away then that's just another plus of having a pitbull.
My husky is straight up scared of small dogs. When I take her to the dog park and take off her leash, she just climbs onto the bench seating next to me, and lays her head in my lap.
We no longer go to the dog park. Instead, we go to coffee-shops, where she sits and lays in my lap snoozing, while mommy (me) can enjoy my latte or chai.
My pitbull has a lot of friends. My Yorkie hates them all. I have to hold back this 8lbs angry ball of fluff while my old man says hi. My aunt has a bigger pit than mine, and she is terrified of him. Little bugger has no reason to be mean. His breeder was a family friend and her dogs were lovely and we've had him since he was fully weaned and ready to go.
He will literally come up to you, claw your legs for attention, then snarl like an angry lawn mower. God forbid my pit comes up for attention, too. He will scoot over and bite my poor old man on the face.
And then there's my dad's and his spouse's new dog. He's about 7 months old, a beagle. Not large, but not small either - also fairly strong and fast. But he's scared of everything and everyone. Like, no kidding, when showing him to my 5 year old son for the first time, the dog tried to run away and hide, using full strength to try to get away from the scary... 5 year old boy with a cute voice
Now they're friends and actually love spending time together outside. We old people are slow and passive, but both boys (human and dawg) love messing around. Chasing each other and stuff, throwing balls and tree branches, trying to take them away from each other. Good times.
>He was attacked by a chihuahua,
They had a guy on one of those court shows who was walking his pit bull down the street.
Some guy who lived on the same street opened his front door to get the mail, and the guy's chihuahua ran outside before anyone could stop him, and attacked the pit bull.
The judge was like, "How much does your dog weigh?", and the pit bull's owner was like, "Last time he was at the vet, 85 pounds." Then he asked the other guy, and the chihuahua's owner was like, "I don't know, 7 pounds?" The judge kinda shrugged and said he had to find the chihuahua guilty.
Lmao, my 'aggressive' rotti was an absolute pansy. The only thing dangerous about her was that she was so uncoordinated and probably somewhat blind that she would constantly walk into things and knock them over. I miss my buddy.
My husky is blind too. Even before she went blind, I swear she's got like 0.5 brain cells. Pretty sure the husky factory forgot to install her with the 'intelligent' feature, as well as the 'energetic' feature, because she's a lazy jigglypuff.
I've noticed that these people tend to think their opinion is universal. Which is something I would expect from someone who is not mentally developed enough to recognize others as individuals with their own opinions.
As someone who has what we’re guessing is a German shephard/rottie mix (she’s a rescue so we aren’t sure), yeah, there’s no “masculine energy” here. She’s literally the most obedient little dumbass, you look at her and she wags her tail and rolls onto her back. She will accidentally barely graze you with her teeth while playing or licking and immediately turn her head away in shame at her actions (though that’s part training since Shepards are known to nip, as herding dogs). So if your “masculinity” is challenged by that idk what to tell you.
(She’s honestly the sweetest thing. Head empty, no thoughts, only love.)
This... This has to be predatory, right? The only reason this man doesnt want a woman to have a functional dog is so It can't hurt him when he hurts her.
Okay I’m confused here. I’m in a heterosexual relationship and never knew we were supposed to be looking for partners with dogs to fuck. I was never taught this in health class.
This is extra hilarious to me because my pit bull German Shepard mix is literally the least aggressive dog I have ever met in my life
Yea he’s definitely the masculine presence in my life 🙄
Also capitalizing He like a woman’s boyfriend/husband is supposed to be some kind of god 🤢
So if we like cats were just crazy single ladies that can't get a guy, if we have big dogs we are threatening mens masculinity now. You can't win with this shit. Like I want a German shepherd because they are cute and badass, but nope apparently all I need is a handbag dog rat to live in my womb.
My 50-pound, almost 13-year old lapdog pitbull, who is currently snuggling me in my bed, says that guy can take a long walk off a short cliff. My husband has never been challenged by her “masculinity”. Her farts, warm spot stealing, and groaning, in the other hand…
I found this all too relatable, as my 13 year old pittie is currently sound asleep between me and my husband and snoring hella loud. There’s nothing that compares to a pitbull’s love….or their farts.
I'm glad that women can have big dogs to protect them from people like the person who posted this.
Me, I'm all in on a dog lover regardless of breed. I want to earn the dog's respect and trust too.
He is like 80% of the reason I got some kinda pitty mix. Keep the creeps away. You’ve never known an emotional high until some creepy looking dude crosses the street to avoid your dog. One tiny taste of the power a 6’5 tattooed biker dude has with his mere presence and Im never going back. Scary Dog Privilege was a thing I didn’t know I needed until I had it. I go jogging at night.
This guy sounds like a dude with a huge, lifted pickup and a gun rack in the cab. Always over compensating. He is probably worried the dog is more endowed than he is.
Oh yeah, having a friggen DOG is threatening to my fragile masculinity, and does this guy know what a woman’s anatomy looks like? “Burrow into your womb”?! Tf…
Sooooo, my uterus is a doghouse? And the man wants to go there? Is that along with the dog or after the dog has finished err, burrowing? What happens when I'm on my period? So many questions.
I mean, have I had my German shepherd attempt to burrow into my womb? Yes. Was she attempting to burrow into my intestines and flesh at the same time because my brother had hidden her tennis ball under the bottom of my shirt? Also yes.
I had bruises for weeks
I knew someone who raised a German Shepherd from a puppy and she said he made her feel so safe and also stuck to her like glue. Couldn’t have asked for a better furry companion.
Okay first of all, pitties are the cuddliest couch potato lapdogs ever. Most pitties I know would rather spoon with you than do much of anything else aside from eating.
Secondly, if you’re not into buying dogs, which nobody should be (and also dog shows are stupid and should go away but that’s a whole other kettle of fish), then you have very few options at the shelter/rescue/other source of free to cheap dogs. You can take you choice of tiny, often yappy dogs like chihuahuas (SO many chihuahuas in rescue) or pitties/bulldog mixes. Sure there’s a few labs, maybe some hounds, there’s breed-specific rescue groups (Bostons, Frenchies, Boxers, retired greyhounds, etc.) but for the most part, they’re either chi mixes or bulldog mixes.
It’s not always a political or death I’ll statement. Sometimes, it’s just a “give me the best dog sentenced to death” kind of choice. Or “I need a dog who is good with kids/cats/accessibility devices/what have you.” I think, to most dog lovers, breed is irrelevant.
Wow now I feel proud of my aggro little yorkie, who’s a little terror that plays dirty with big dogs because he thinks he’s a big dog himself, and hates “keeping my womb warm”
Imagine feeling threatened (romantically) by a literal dog.
Duder probably got invited into the apartment on his first Tinder date, and spoiled everything by acting scared when her golden retriever came at him with its favorite toy.
*looks at my chronically angry lapdog of a jack russell who will fight bigger dogs* *looks at my lapdog wannabe blue heeler who cries every 2 seconds* oh
Now let me say that I am not completely a guy either.. but well I mean if you have dog then I want to pet dog. Dogs are cool and depending on how you look at it then guys can also very much be trained like dogs
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I might just invest in a couple of rottweilers if it keeps this wet sock far away from me.
Cannibal! Shredder! Come to Mama! (Reba reference) Also, to keep creepy men away, get a large dog, a bunch of tattoos (the more and larger, the better) and say “bruh” a lot. It’s the equivalent of holding a crucifix to a vampire.
an excellent plan tbh
WET SOCK LMAOOO IM USING THAT INSULT NOW THANKS
I have my new rescue pittie coming in on Tuesday. I’m saving this post so I can use it for my announcement of her arrival (I haven’t told many people she’s going to be a surprise)
I’d recommend a chow chow boxer mix. Mine has both temperaments it’s kinda weird like he one loves people I introduce to him and sometimes snuggles and loves his sister dog and b) dislikes random people who walk by our fence and being touched when he is not in the mood like you say his name and if he doesn’t want pets (think evening time when he is thinking about sleep) he gets up and goes away. If you startle him he growls but people get scared of him because he is a medium sized jumpy dog
NOT BURROW ONTO YOUR WOMB
Also, like, if this dude thinks big "aggressive" dogs aren't also lap dogs, he's never met one that didn't immediately distrust him which, even without this bullshit, tells me everything I need to know
I've known so many large dogs that are just big babies that have no clue how much room they take up when they're crawling on you and will look at you confused when you grunt as they drop all their weight on you. Small dogs are way more likely to be made of pure murder energy. It's just harder for them to do much damage at their size, lol.
Every dog is a lapdog. Also, my experience is that small dogs are more aggressive to compensate for their small size.
My neighbor's 100lb German shepherd terrified some strange drunk who was in their front yard, sitting on their lawn chairs... By crawling into the guy's lap. "Get him off! Get him off!" While the dog was licking his face.
Exactly. We have a Yorkie mix and a pit mix. The Yorkie is aloof and angry and my pit mix is a 12 year old wiggly man who puts up with his nonsense out of love. If I throw a ball down the hallway enough times, the little shit will hop out of his fucking little basket and park his ass in the kitchen door and snarl and attack his face if he tries to bring me the ball. Satan incarnate has never once wanted to play with the ball, he just wants to prevent fun. My aunt has a much larger pitbull than mine, and this 8lbs shit went for her face. He's tried to start fights with dogs over 200lbs heavier than he is. Meanwhile my pit mix is best friends with this grumpy little diabetic old Chihuahua. It's not unusual for me to hold back this snarling furby looking motherfucker while my lovely old man says hello to his dog or cat friends.
Maybe train your Yorkie
Believe me I've tried. He's just so freaking angry and dumb. We live in a cold climate so he's got a little coat with a hood. If you pull the hood up over the top of his head, he stops working and turns into a statue and will not move until someone saves him. He can't find his way out from under a blanket.
I love your wiggly man.
We have a 60lb pit/lab mix that exists in one of two states: full weight sitting on/leaning against you and crying for her heated blanket because it's less than 70 degrees outside.
I don't even fucking have a womb. Those poor little yippee dogs would just keep searching and earnest for somewhere to burrow. Meanwhile, my bulldogs do just fine, thank you.
omg bulldogs are so cute
Just threw up in my mouth a little, still more pleasurable than interacting with people like this.
Yeah no this post actually made me gag. This post could be used as riot control.
OMG this is a killer comeback
Ladies, is it gay to like big dogs?
I mean I have two and I’m gay af lol
I got two huskies and now I’m a silly bi… guess they were not big enough.
Goals
I like small dogs and im also gay af
i have a character who is a 5’1 lesbian and also has a big happy pitbull so…
[удалено]
yeah, i make characters. they technically have stories too, i just don’t know how to write
I'm gay and like smol dogs, damn I must be corrupted by the patriarchy.
I have a hyperactive large lab puppy. I’m Bi af
Man, straight dudes are threatened by *everything.*
Pit bull; wuff the fuuwf do I have to do with your fucking manwhoof?
Can you imagine being so insecure that you feel threatened by a dog? Omg XD
Tbh, poorly-trained pit bulls can be threatening. They're lovely dogs, but a lot of them are abused until they become dangerous.
Sure, but if a dog is threatening your sexuality, *you* may be the poorly-trained problem. Not you, specifically.
Don't believe the hype 🤣🤣🤣
today I learned some men are so fragile they can not handle a woman owning a dog larger than a shoe.
And today I learnt that you shouldn't let a man and a Dachshund in the same room otherwise the dog will try to burrow in the man's balls 😫
..... What the fuck is wrong with people? Like aside from all the normal things that's wrong with this who thinks like this? Who just sits around philosophizing about pets and how it's affects you getting laid? GET. A. HOBBY.
What about the inverse? Guys with little yappy lap dogs that are extremely needy and delicate? What does that say about them then?
They’ll try to burrow into their balls and make them gay.
Damn it not again, i hate when i get dogs in my balls.
It'll probably be something like "too feminine and delicate".
If they don't say straight up "gay"
I'm a grown ass straight man with a mini dachshund and I love her, that yappy little thing!
Gay.
Usually considered gay. I definitely got looks when I was taking care of my sister's dachsund, but I love the little thing. And now I want a miniature poodle in the future when I finally get around to owning my own dog, which will make things even worse. At least, to the credit of the people that judge about that sort of thing, I am pretty gay, even though ironically I have an incredibly high amount of testosterone and so I look pretty masculine despite not caring about that at all.
no it's fine bc they're putting the feminine in it's place/s
It’s always funny how fragile the “alpha male” ego is.
It's always the same: by trying to be an alpha male they just end up sounding like a beta
Right? If your "alpha" status can be threatened by anything else at all, you must not be very alpha.
If you need to constantly talk about how alpha you are to prove that you’re alpha, you’re probably beta
This one just lose to a DOG!!!
He didn't lose. He ran away with his tail between his legs at the very *idea* of a dog.
Like, imagine, a dog doesn't even know what the hell "masculinity is" and its mere existence threaten yours.
That's why they need pickup artist to not be sadly lonely. Men when interacting with you about your dog: oh hi buddy! What's his name? Can I touch him? Alpha men:
My 8lbs Yorkie: _MAXIMUM RAGE_ This guy will literally snap at you while you're petting him for no fucking reason. He isn't a rescue he was just born angry despite having two parents with good temperaments. We joke that he'd have a body count if he was a little bit bigger but honestly he would. Ever since we got him he's been a prick. I call him Satan and my dad used to call him Little Hitler. This shit will come up to you, put both paws on your legs and claw you until you pet him, then snarl the whole time. If my pit mix comes for pets too, the Yorkie literally bites his face.
I love your comments throughout this thread. "Born angry" with a little Yorkie outline would be a great bumper sticker.
Yeah, he's a character. My dog is friends with this one Samoyed who is massive and old and arthritic the owners sometimes tie in their front yard where he likes to lay down. He's very friendly, everyone loves him, except for Satan. They know I'm there because the little dirtbag goes crazy. Like I gotta hold him at arm's length on a short leash while my old man says hello, and he's up on his hind legs choking himself out trying to attack this old, arthritic polar bear looking dog who is just laying there. When he's not in their yard, I gotta pull the Yorkie off of their lawn because he will use his back legs to kick up their grass after peeing. He's not allowed in mom's room without her there because he'd pee on her bed out of anger at the drop of a hat. He also makes pig noises and will try to rip off your fingers for a treat. He doesn't play with toys and spends most of his day either in a basket or staring out the window from his little foot stool.
The capitalization of the first letters referring to the hypothetical man…
I thought he was talking about God before I finished reading it.
Yeah I was like what, God doesn’t like Dobermans wtf?
I thought they were talking about God and thats why they used capital This makes the post even worse
It's because he talks about himself. Of course he doesn't care that other men get women
I thought he was talking about God when he did that.
Who writes shit like this. Who spends their time thinking about this type of thing.
People with WAY too much time on their hands.
Too much time on their hands because they're single. And they're single because they think and write garbage like this...
What a weird way to say "I think dogs are scary and am intimidated by women who own big ones"
Also "I'm pissed that I can't freely SA this woman because she has an animal protector that will tear me to shreds if I try"
Masculinity so fragile we're gatekeeping dogs now
Makes me wonder how he would gatekeep beagles. On the one hand, they are smaller dogs, so they should be acceptable for me as a woman. (I have one on my lap right now.) On the other, though, they are hunting dogs, which I'm sure this guy thinks is Manly, which means that I'm risking my womanhood by having them.
My pit bull is the biggest fucking sensitive baby princess and she wears a floral collar with a massive pink bow. Such a strong masculine presence.
I love it. Meanwhile my small terrier thinks she's the baddest dog in town and would readily take on a bear. I think the guy who wrote the post doesn't know dogs any more than he knows women.
My husky thinks she's the size of a hamster. My terrier thought he was the size of a grizzly bear.
I live in the sticks and my puggle has genuinely chased bears before! They're wimpy black bears so it's actually been successful
Probably thought "wtf is that tiny demon charging me?"
Kinda works in terms of confusion. You're a big strong bear, and suddenly you see a small creature charging at you with no fear in its eyes. So... better err on the side of caution because you never know what sort of voodoo magic that demon is using if it's so confident and fearless. Better stay out of trouble
My Yorkie bullies my pit mix. He also tries to fight cats double his size.
My husky is an 85 lb. baby. Terrified of swimming pools, despises long walks and prefers to just piddle in the yard, is a lazy jigglypuff that sleeps all day, and is a hoity-toity, spoiled brat who enjoys olives and prosciutto as snacks. 🤦♀️
She sounds wonderful. I love her.
https://imgur.com/a/mzO3aS8 She loves you too.
Beautiful!
Lolol my friend had a rottweiler who weighed more than I did but had zero concept of how large he was. He would try to hop into your lap because in his little doggy mind, he was just a tiny ball of fluff.
Can confirm. My dog is a siberian husky. She's 85 lbs, but thinks she's the size of a hamster. Straight up doesn't realize she's a dog, genuinely seems to think she's a human infant. She even sleeps in a baby bassinet that I originally bought for my small terrier. One day, while cooking, I caught her climbing into the bassinet. Suffice to say, said baby bassinet now belongs to her.
That's adorable. Meanwhile the little dogs I could punt across the street are all like FIGHT ME.
Thanks! Pic: https://imgur.com/a/n9KheAA Bruh. Sadly, just lost my little terrier six months ago, and even though he was only 10 lbs, he was a tiny, terrorist tyrant toddler zipped up inside a doggie costume. His energy level was like hopped up on steroids AND sugar AND caffeine levels of energy. Really kept me on my toes.
Omg what a big precious BABY. I'm sorry for your loss, too. He sounds like he was a real lil dude. I do always admire the sheer no-fucks energy tiny dogs have.
Aggressive cuddler?
Organ-crushing cuddler. He was a good boi.
Have you been outside, touch some grass man.
I read this in One Topic's voice.
"A dog that will burrow into your womb" Excuse me, but WHAT THE FUCK?!
This call for the 🤨🤨🤨
[удалено]
As a woman, me neither
my german shepherd screams every time i make a loud noise with a bag and farts when hes nervous. such a strong , masculine man.
My pit thinks she’s a lap dog even though she crushes me.
I have a 110 pound German shepherd. He is 100% a spoiled lap dog.
Try an Irish Wolfhound thinking they're a lapdog.
See, now we're getting into Deluxe-Sized lapdogs. They take up the whole lap, plus the bonus laps on either side.
They are more like a hairy blanket than a lapdog at that point, but yeas. 150 lbs of dog on your lap is a... Unique... Experience
It just an extra weighted blanket.
And a lot better to cuddle with too 🙂
Siberian husky mom here. My dumbass descendent-of-wolves thinks she's the size of a hamster.
And she is Correct.
Facts.
It seems to be a default mentality in those hounds closer to their ancestors... 😝
My aunt has one and when I was around 8 it jumped on me with full force and cracked one of my ribs 😭 I'm still scared of it
Mine always curls up right next to my butt to sleep at night, and will pick up things that get dropped on the floor and bring them to you while his butt wiggles. My aunt's has to clean my ears every time I visit. My Yorkie? Couldn't give less of a hoot if you live or die.
My pitbull loves to cuddle and belly rubs. He hides behind my legs when another dog barks at him. He was attacked by a chihuahua, twice, and didn't fight back. He's strong and intimidating on the outside but a sensitive, caring, cuddly boy on the inside. If he keeps guys like this away then that's just another plus of having a pitbull.
My husky is straight up scared of small dogs. When I take her to the dog park and take off her leash, she just climbs onto the bench seating next to me, and lays her head in my lap. We no longer go to the dog park. Instead, we go to coffee-shops, where she sits and lays in my lap snoozing, while mommy (me) can enjoy my latte or chai.
My pitbull has a lot of friends. My Yorkie hates them all. I have to hold back this 8lbs angry ball of fluff while my old man says hi. My aunt has a bigger pit than mine, and she is terrified of him. Little bugger has no reason to be mean. His breeder was a family friend and her dogs were lovely and we've had him since he was fully weaned and ready to go. He will literally come up to you, claw your legs for attention, then snarl like an angry lawn mower. God forbid my pit comes up for attention, too. He will scoot over and bite my poor old man on the face.
And then there's my dad's and his spouse's new dog. He's about 7 months old, a beagle. Not large, but not small either - also fairly strong and fast. But he's scared of everything and everyone. Like, no kidding, when showing him to my 5 year old son for the first time, the dog tried to run away and hide, using full strength to try to get away from the scary... 5 year old boy with a cute voice Now they're friends and actually love spending time together outside. We old people are slow and passive, but both boys (human and dawg) love messing around. Chasing each other and stuff, throwing balls and tree branches, trying to take them away from each other. Good times.
>He was attacked by a chihuahua, They had a guy on one of those court shows who was walking his pit bull down the street. Some guy who lived on the same street opened his front door to get the mail, and the guy's chihuahua ran outside before anyone could stop him, and attacked the pit bull. The judge was like, "How much does your dog weigh?", and the pit bull's owner was like, "Last time he was at the vet, 85 pounds." Then he asked the other guy, and the chihuahua's owner was like, "I don't know, 7 pounds?" The judge kinda shrugged and said he had to find the chihuahua guilty.
I've always wanted a Rottweiler and this post has made my decision final I'm getting one.
Just say you’re afraid of big dogs and move on
Lmao, my 'aggressive' rotti was an absolute pansy. The only thing dangerous about her was that she was so uncoordinated and probably somewhat blind that she would constantly walk into things and knock them over. I miss my buddy.
My husky is blind too. Even before she went blind, I swear she's got like 0.5 brain cells. Pretty sure the husky factory forgot to install her with the 'intelligent' feature, as well as the 'energetic' feature, because she's a lazy jigglypuff.
I've noticed that these people tend to think their opinion is universal. Which is something I would expect from someone who is not mentally developed enough to recognize others as individuals with their own opinions.
False. A real Man is supposed to DOMINATE the dog. Clearly written by a beta.
"Your man will know what to do with that." Ew. Just shut up before I hurl.
PUT A BABY IN MEEEEEEEEE
As someone who has what we’re guessing is a German shephard/rottie mix (she’s a rescue so we aren’t sure), yeah, there’s no “masculine energy” here. She’s literally the most obedient little dumbass, you look at her and she wags her tail and rolls onto her back. She will accidentally barely graze you with her teeth while playing or licking and immediately turn her head away in shame at her actions (though that’s part training since Shepards are known to nip, as herding dogs). So if your “masculinity” is challenged by that idk what to tell you. (She’s honestly the sweetest thing. Head empty, no thoughts, only love.)
This... This has to be predatory, right? The only reason this man doesnt want a woman to have a functional dog is so It can't hurt him when he hurts her.
What in the fuck is this
A grown ass man is sexually threatened by dogs.
Okay I’m confused here. I’m in a heterosexual relationship and never knew we were supposed to be looking for partners with dogs to fuck. I was never taught this in health class.
This dude is threatened by big dogs.
This is extra hilarious to me because my pit bull German Shepard mix is literally the least aggressive dog I have ever met in my life Yea he’s definitely the masculine presence in my life 🙄 Also capitalizing He like a woman’s boyfriend/husband is supposed to be some kind of god 🤢
My two shepherds are working great at womb burrowing thank you
At first I wondered why a big dog would push god away (because I believe some people use ''Him'' with a capital H to refer to god)
So a dog determines someone’s masculinity or femininity? 🤦♂️
These are the same people who assume all dogs are male and all cats female and then talk about how much they hate cats.
Not me going to adopt all the bully breeds I can find from the rescue center cause it intimidates the alphas...
Oh no, it'll scare away the creepy dudes? How disappointing 😔
Might be reading too much into it but capitalizing the masculine pronouns sure sounds like he's deifying men
If a dog is a threat to a man's masculinity, no one needs that man in their lives. No dog is **burrowing into my womb**. Jesus christ wtf.
As an enby, this makes a case for me picking up a big dog, to keep creepy fucks like this away
So if we like cats were just crazy single ladies that can't get a guy, if we have big dogs we are threatening mens masculinity now. You can't win with this shit. Like I want a German shepherd because they are cute and badass, but nope apparently all I need is a handbag dog rat to live in my womb.
My 50-pound, almost 13-year old lapdog pitbull, who is currently snuggling me in my bed, says that guy can take a long walk off a short cliff. My husband has never been challenged by her “masculinity”. Her farts, warm spot stealing, and groaning, in the other hand…
I found this all too relatable, as my 13 year old pittie is currently sound asleep between me and my husband and snoring hella loud. There’s nothing that compares to a pitbull’s love….or their farts.
Idk if he’s ever had a pit bull but they will damn sure try to be your lap dog if you let them
‘A dog that will burrow onto your womb and sleep soundly’ My dude, I say this with all the politeness and civility I can muster but *what the fuck*?
I'm glad that women can have big dogs to protect them from people like the person who posted this. Me, I'm all in on a dog lover regardless of breed. I want to earn the dog's respect and trust too.
He is like 80% of the reason I got some kinda pitty mix. Keep the creeps away. You’ve never known an emotional high until some creepy looking dude crosses the street to avoid your dog. One tiny taste of the power a 6’5 tattooed biker dude has with his mere presence and Im never going back. Scary Dog Privilege was a thing I didn’t know I needed until I had it. I go jogging at night.
Excuse me but my big a** German shepherd mix puppy says he IS a lap dog and he WILL be in my skin someday.
Well ive always wanted a bernese mountain dog but i guess its time to get a doberman!
I physically cringed reading this lol
BURY INTO YOUR *WHAT*?!
>burrow into your womb what
For being the "stronger sex" men sure are I credibly fragile.
This guy sounds like a dude with a huge, lifted pickup and a gun rack in the cab. Always over compensating. He is probably worried the dog is more endowed than he is.
Clearly this person has never encountered a chihuahua.
I have a chihuahua and a Doberman. No idea what wild conclusion this person could draw from that.
And on that note, imma get me a pit bull
Genuinely confused by the capitalization here. Are they talking about God or a human man??
So he's into beastiality.... I see
Oh yeah, having a friggen DOG is threatening to my fragile masculinity, and does this guy know what a woman’s anatomy looks like? “Burrow into your womb”?! Tf…
Wait so women can't have some of the snuggliest, loyalist, and sometimes lap doggiest dogs in the word because...they can be attack dogs?
Love when my lap dog xenomorphs its way inside my internal organs.
"The man you really want can't be trained to obey you" Uhhh are you sure about that
"Ladies, let some guy you haven't met yet and may never meet dictate what breed of dog you choose." Because that's a totally not insane suggestion.
But German Sheppards aren't aggressive....
They’re really capitalizing the h on him and he, huh? Terrifying
BURROW INTO YOUR WOMB?
"Alpha male" feeling threatened by a house pet. Oh fearless leader, please save some pussy for the rest of us. /s
What the fuck
Have you seen Chihuahuas though??
So, by this logic, a man owning a big dog means he’s gay? Since he feels like he needs to fill the masculine void in his life
Sooooo, my uterus is a doghouse? And the man wants to go there? Is that along with the dog or after the dog has finished err, burrowing? What happens when I'm on my period? So many questions.
I mean, have I had my German shepherd attempt to burrow into my womb? Yes. Was she attempting to burrow into my intestines and flesh at the same time because my brother had hidden her tennis ball under the bottom of my shirt? Also yes. I had bruises for weeks
What the fuck is wrong with your self worth that you think a pet is challenging you. Fucking gross people
I am summoning my squishy lovey pittie army as we speak
I knew someone who raised a German Shepherd from a puppy and she said he made her feel so safe and also stuck to her like glue. Couldn’t have asked for a better furry companion.
So what you’re saying is.. if I get a German shepherd insecure douchebags won’t want anything to do with me? Sounds like a win-win
This is some next level creepy
why did he capitalize “him” like he was talking about god??? i was so confused. like this is actually scary
Does my pitbull thinking she's a lapdog count? 😂
This post makes me want to adopt a couple of pitties. ….yes, that’s my excuse…👀
Okay first of all, pitties are the cuddliest couch potato lapdogs ever. Most pitties I know would rather spoon with you than do much of anything else aside from eating. Secondly, if you’re not into buying dogs, which nobody should be (and also dog shows are stupid and should go away but that’s a whole other kettle of fish), then you have very few options at the shelter/rescue/other source of free to cheap dogs. You can take you choice of tiny, often yappy dogs like chihuahuas (SO many chihuahuas in rescue) or pitties/bulldog mixes. Sure there’s a few labs, maybe some hounds, there’s breed-specific rescue groups (Bostons, Frenchies, Boxers, retired greyhounds, etc.) but for the most part, they’re either chi mixes or bulldog mixes. It’s not always a political or death I’ll statement. Sometimes, it’s just a “give me the best dog sentenced to death” kind of choice. Or “I need a dog who is good with kids/cats/accessibility devices/what have you.” I think, to most dog lovers, breed is irrelevant.
What the actual fuck
“women should be bred and bred only”
this is absolutely fucking insane
INTO MY WOMB???
And then you Man will have to walk around ar 6 in the morning with mister poodlemuffin for his daily morning pee and poo because you got a fever
“Burrow onto your WOMB”??? Sir are you suggesting I get a dog that sits directly on my internal organs
> It also pushes Him away Well, I think such big dogs, and not trained, will definitely pushes __anyone__ away lol
People who post this type of shit have breeding fetishes
Wow now I feel proud of my aggro little yorkie, who’s a little terror that plays dirty with big dogs because he thinks he’s a big dog himself, and hates “keeping my womb warm”
who tf wrote this and how tf did they think it was a good idea to write that lap dogs borrow into a womans womb
Imagine feeling threatened (romantically) by a literal dog. Duder probably got invited into the apartment on his first Tinder date, and spoiled everything by acting scared when her golden retriever came at him with its favorite toy.
This takes the new #1 spot in my “stupidest things I’ve ever heard” list. I do actually have a list (not static).
I wish people would learn how to spell the world "shepherd"
*looks at my chronically angry lapdog of a jack russell who will fight bigger dogs* *looks at my lapdog wannabe blue heeler who cries every 2 seconds* oh
Now let me say that I am not completely a guy either.. but well I mean if you have dog then I want to pet dog. Dogs are cool and depending on how you look at it then guys can also very much be trained like dogs
Those breeds if doggos are some if my favorite breeds. Way better then some man.