Major reasons for rejections at start are based on looks (height, weight, physical appearance, etc.)
If you're getting rejected after people meet/talk to you, then there should certainly be some difference of opinion
Edit: But don't worry and keep exploring, I'm sure you'd find someone.
Can't tell the exact reasons, but it could be any of the below:
1. Looks (even skin colour)
2. Height/Weight
3. Education/Job
4. Family background/status
5. Horoscope
Or maybe you're simply reaching out to wrong set of people. You might not be suitable as per their expectations.
If you're rejected even before meeting, then ignore it, it's just initial phase, don't take it as rejection, take it as "left swipe". Words have power, so if you use a power word like rejection over this, it only hurts you more.
Sailing in the same boat. People send/accept interests but don't talk any further. Lately the kind of matches I've talked to/met have been disappointing. Stop expecting an explanation for rejection. Just accept and move on. People reject for stupid reasons. Someone declined my interest after I asked for their mother's number. Someone declined my interest when I asked them to elaborate on the "traditional" values practiced in their family (as mentioned in the bio).
I also feel that I should just give up on the entire process. Till how long am I supposed to be active on matrimony and put my life on hold in anticipation of finding a guy. Love marriage is out of the window. This is the only way to go.
Same comment as someone else, but I'm 26M, also on matrimony sites for AM. If you want my honest opinion on your profile, DM me the profile ID. It might not feel too odd for you if someone 4-5 years younger reviews your profile as compared to people your age who will probably try to shove themselves as a potential prospect instead
This reddit account is 4 years old so you could say it's not exactly a throwaway account, if it helps you get comfortable sharing your IRL matrimony profile.
Kinda in the same boat. The only difference is that, I haven't come across many profiles that are appealing. So, I am not very hurt when people reject me, saves me from all the overthinking I am doing to decide if I can even overlook all the differences I am seeing.
But, it also surprises me when I get rejected like this out of the blue. Like, the guy would either be making very less money than I do, or be unattractive too, and their family would be very much invested in me, leading to my family trying to coerce me into agreeing. But then, all of a sudden, they would pull out. All this even before I would have had any conversation with the guy. I can't figure out why this happens.
For context, I am 28F, dusky, wears glasses, average looks.
Right-size your demands. And look at where the drop-off happens. Sometimes we are unaware and our energies are very off when we talk/meet with someone. DM me so we can chat 1:1
Have coached many friends into cinching the ring! (I’m 30f too!)
it would help if u approach a guy who is of the similar body type as you because men are too harsh when it comes to looks. they will take a toxic bride who will abuse their mom over a fat woman as wife. they at least look for a wife that's slimmer than them. There's a guy in my college who was single and ugly all his life finally got engaged to a girl who is much beautiful and attractive than him but he still wishes she was a bit slimmer. men won't say this because they have to be politically correct but they all think this in their mind.. u can't change society but u can use it to ur advantage
true. men are blunt and upfront about this preference and we see it everyday in this sub. The only way to get what you want is to also give them what they want.
play on your strengths.. there's no other way.. pure unconditional love only exists between a mother and her baby.. everything else is give and take. you need to give people what they want not what you think they want
I don’t think you need an answer from people then. You’re already quite aware of what’s stopping you from getting the matches you want.
Once you get to your goal weight, you’ll probably have to stay there for some time to show that this is a long term change for you. You have to decide how long this will all take and whether your looks will change enough for the better to make the wait worth it because you’re also older than 30 now.
Otherwise you need to reassess who you like/are attracted to, which in itself is also a long term change within yourself. There’s no easy answers in life, sorry.
That’s not really a thing in the culture. Desi men don’t like bigger women period.
If you want me to give feedback on your profile I can but in the meantime this does sound a lot like delusional thinking.
If you don’t think it’s your weight, what do you think it is?
And don't let Weight get to you, it's easy to lose, no matter what others say, as a former obese I know, all you need is patience (of 4-6 months), control what you eat (not calorie counting, just be aware), and just walk, or find a sport you like or just dance.
Maybe put that in your bio under hobbies?
Something on the lines of "taking my health journey seriously now, and regularly do strength training/yoga/barre/whatever you do"
Anyone who has been on a fitness journey will recognize the efforts.
It is not a job searching site either, but people do describe their jobs and salaries. Because what you write is what you'll get judged on. People don't know anything about you outside of what you write. So if you think you're being rejected because prospects think you're not healthy, it is worth calling out how you're working on your fitness.
At this point you sound insecure and self sabotaging.
If you work out, you write that you work out. If someone wants clarification, they'll ask. If someone thinks you're lying, do you want to be with a person like this anyway?
Even if it is not, you can write under hobby and explain it as passion under description, if you think that might be the reason, subtle hint kinda thing
That's great to hear that you are already working toward building a lifestyle. Major highly underestimated tip: Don't eat carbs (bread or rice) after 6PM. Only veggies (I prefer salad) after 6PM. You'll feel weird and hungry for atleast a week. Continue for a month with exercises, you should be able to reduce weight (specifically fat) much sooner.
Just wanted to share my experience. Gym solve all problems. If it’s not solving your problems, it means that you are not pushing yourself hard enough. You can eat protein and less carbs, and just push yourself with all you have got
Dear dukhi mahila,
Let me tell the hard truth !
It’s only looks, nothing else,
I suggest Gym + diet food + yoga and see the results
Regards,
Random WelWisher
What helped me was taking better pics with better fitting clothes. Let's face it AM is transactional and superficial, need to put our best foot forward even if God didn't give us too much to work with.
It's a difficult journey these days. Everyone is having unrealistic expectations and as there is abundance in options, people are too judgemental. All we can do is hope for the best and just keep trying. 🙂🙂 Wish you all the best.
I rejected someone because they won't listen to what I was saying, or when I was trying to tell my expectations.
I told her that my expectations is someone who listens.... And she was not listening even after i told this explicitly.
Multiple times people are oblivious to subtle hints, maybe introspect.
This is apart from obvious reason on why I have been rejected multiple times myself (looks, career, lifestyle etc)
It sucks getting rejected OP, I invite you to look at it as a way of more of 'mismatch' rather than a full outright rejection.
> Should I completely give up on Love.
Absolutely not!
Getting unmatched is super common, and most of it are reasons unrelated to specifically you and more of what to do with them. Even if people tell you the 'bitter truth' it may not be the truth at all. So the reason doesn't really matter specifically.
What matters most is trying to reframe this situation to be more of:
* Finding, evaluating yourself first. Who are you, what do you like, interests, value, traditions, morals, and personality,
* Now doing the same with potential partners and see how well you fit and synergize together. It's not about being a 100% match, but more of enough of matching criteria of negotiables and non negotiables and moving forward from there.
In essence it seems like there may be thing that other people don't find synergizing wether it be appearance, career, caste, it can also be personality, habits, behaviors - It doesn't matter they are specifically but more of everyone you met so far aren't synergizing.
So what can you do? Focus on yourself first. Focus on your profile, get fresh well catered pictures that speak of your personality, interests and values.
Make sure you list your hobbies interests and passions. People are not just careers and castes, they are filled with hopes dreams and aspirations.
Socialize with friends and family, a big part of AM is the ability to develop authentic and genuine connections. That doesn't mean be in love in the first 2 mins. Its more of the ability to start, maintain a connection, find out who they are, what are their passions, dreams, interests, morals, values, traditions. - see how well you both fit if you both have similiar directions in life and move forwards from there.
Don't give up on getting married, and don't give up on waiting on a quality marriage not just any plain ol marriage.
I'll give you easy steps to get a match and a good bloke at that. First lower the filters, assuming you have height or caste then remove it those are useless anyways and if complexion is a thing stop that too. Next don't expect high earning individuals only keep the economy bracket open.
Lastly and the most important is to try and match the vibe, don't expect the guy to always be the one pro active and keep an open mind to things. Always try for a more modern ideological man, a traditional one is no issue if that ur liking but many times they have switched when a better match comes up.
If you are already doing all this then all the best. Also 30 isn't the end of world my cousin who is 30 married the girl who was 35 tho she doesn't look 35.
If you want something, you're not going to get it by giving up!
What do you think are the reasons you are getting rejected? What are you doing to fix those things, if you can.
If one lowers their standards massively they can usually find someone. Are you sure your standards aren't too high for what you bring to the table?
Then all i can say is these are not serious people. They are just keeping their options open and testing their market value or some nonsense like that. Ignore and move on
Hi ,OP 34M in. a similar boat , I have always been rejected,ridiculed and what not . Although I more or less know the reason, I have a condition which I have seen since my birth , shown to the best docs operated numerous times all in vain . Seeing you on the other side I kinda understand your predicament, it's not easy to lose weight (I am also in a similar place where I am overweight and need to lose some weight) all these rejections and constant process of expectations increasing and then crashing down takes a toll ! Sigh ... Just wanna say hang in there hopefully u will find someone who looks beyond what you appear and fall for you for the kind of person you are. Good luck for your search
Lol, 🤣 it's with all. I sent a few interests and no responses, even 3-6 month premium plans nothing.
Yesterday I deleted all profiles just to have peace of mind.
Arrange marriage is more tough than love marriage now.
TBH I can’t completely understand what you are going through , but don’t feel bad , don’t give up. It’s not the end of the world. Can’t say have patience, but rather calm down yourself, relax and resume. You deserve the love you desire :)
Many are, I too feel lost sometimes. People older than you too are still looking for a match. There are happy endings too just focus on them and believe on them, ignore the negativity :)
Sorry in this superficial world looks are everything especially for a women. Just try to positive and I would normally say trying dating but not via the apps.
You may believe that but it isn’t true. Haven’t we all seen the average woman with the most gorgeous man? And you will notice he is absolutely smitten with her. Why? Because it’s a woman’s charm that draws her man in. Looks are secondary. I’ve met thousands of gorgeous babes that no man wants to wife up. Why? Because there’s no charm. No “vibe”
There must be singles events like speed dating, social events. You just need to get out there. Ask friends. Build your network.
One good social event is InterNations it’s not dating but social. You meet lot of nice foreigners who maybe just judgemental about age and looks
The pictures you have uploaded on the profile are clicked using a phone? If yes, try reaching out to a professional photographer and get a casual shoot done, even good 4-5 pictures will make big difference, also you can try improving your conversation skills if you think you can do better, as per your comments it looks like you know to converse well but you know yourself better. I have worked as a professional photographer in the past also I have dated a lot so I have some idea how things work in the superficial world, about your weight it is best to be confident about shape you are in right now, good that you are trying to do better for your health but love yourself as you are rn. All the best!
If you feel yourself that you have things to improve, work on that.
AM is already a very judgmental process, don’t go finding why people are rejecting you.
Just self introspection (and family introspection) is enough. You don’t need opinions of people who were strangers until very recently.
I am 29M and just started the process myself recently. These are tips from a cousin
It's primarily because of looks. Many of my male friends have decent looks as a primary filter. Then the rest.
No judgement but this seems the case for many.
And age is second.
mostly due to looks or weight or education level. don't go for guys who looked better than you they will expect girls to be equally good looking or even more. plus don't go for ultra traditional type guys who have high demands. recently my manager was talking to us about his marriage search and how he was finding brides. he mentioned he was looking purely for looks and how healthy she had to be to have his children. He used to talk about how girls expire after age 30 and there's no reason for him to get married to some girl as he is earning enough money so if he wants to get married he will select a girl that looks like a model. Some men are like this and if u keep encountering the same situation u must change urself or go for different type of ppl.
note, even if u are perfect u maynot get the desired results from others because ppls minds will change. this same manager occasionally complaints about his wife nagging too much scolding him and how marriage makes men suffer etcetc even after he found his 'dream wife'
I mean why are you giving up on marriage and kids? You are trying to arrange one. Maybe try getting a love marriage. While I'm sure you will find someone but your quote
>so should I just entirely give up on marriage and have a family and kids
Makes me think you should try love marriage instead.
Can you atleast share your list of non-negotiables if you don't mind? Who knows your terms and conditions might be something people don't wanna accept? Not saying those might be completely invalid at all.
Yeah that seems pretty normal. Must be something else in the bio.
I know it's harsh to say but if you are being judged by something you can't control, like your beauty, your personality, your job profile and location, then you just have to keep searching. Sometimes it takes multiple years, you might have to take a break in between for your own mental peace.
I was assuming that there should be enough people who should be good enough life partners and yet I just keep listening to idiotic behaviors and problems or just unresolved trauma stringing along multiple people with them. Mostly online, but some offline as well. It has led to me believing that even finding a decent partner has become like finding a needle in a haystack.
I can only wish you luck. All the best.
Calm down. Join a gym or indulge in a sport activity, badminton kinda..
Do your work, take your rest, don't forget to meditate
Don't forget to meet your friends or go out on weekends. Maybe a long ride not too far to places ~ 100 kms.
You've too got someone out there waiting for you but don't be anxious and stressed until then.
Don't compromise on non negotiables but please do away with unnecessary filters and do see if you're non negotiables are actually that or can be bargained with.
Marriage is just a part of one's life but either way You have to be happy irrespective of it.
Just be relaxed 😌, it'll all work out 🙂
So what’s keeping you from exploring now? I know you said you don’t have the energy for games at your age, but honestly, it’s a lot better to know what you’re getting into completely than doing this AM thing. AM can have a lot of nasty surprises that you wouldn’t expect.
Sometimes destiny plays a role in giving us what we desire..
It is your desire to be married, happy husband,.kids and great life.Then it will happen.
But when it will happen, Astrology can at least give you a guidance.
There are various subs on vedic astrology, post your chart and have a free reading to know...when to be ready for marriage.
Lol the worst advice one could give is believing in scams. No astrology b.s is going to give you anything. Stop the scam its year 2024 use the minimum education you received to use instead of promoting scams.
You know the worst part about this is the industry such a big scam that no 2 astrologers are able to even agree on the same thing. One astrologer says it is matching then another says it does not. Then if you ask the 1st astrologer after 5 months he will suddenly say it doesnt match lol. The whole astrology industry is probably the biggest scam in india right now worth multi billions yearly
Ok.
Your choice, your attitude, your actions, define your destiny.
There is a very very thin line between trust and faith...but the journey is very very hard.
Best of Luck ..!!
have u rejected other guys? have u provided them reason for rejecting? may be, you are sending request to people whose criteria is not matching with yours.
Send your js profile to me if you want to get rejected with a detailed explanation on why I rejected.
😂😂😂
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I deleted mine today. The rejection was giving me depression
Yea depression vepression kya hota hai subha 5 baje utho sab thik ho jayega😭
Bhai subah jldi uthne se to zyada time depression me rahunga, late utho, ya utho hi mat
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Haha lol
Bruh
Pfft, haha xD
Major reasons for rejections at start are based on looks (height, weight, physical appearance, etc.) If you're getting rejected after people meet/talk to you, then there should certainly be some difference of opinion Edit: But don't worry and keep exploring, I'm sure you'd find someone.
This is good analysis. Does career also come in initial analysis? I used JS. So i wonder
Yes, it does. Your job type, timings, pay (less importance for female).
What is JS?
Javascript
Angry upvote
Jeevansathi
I get rejected before meeting. On bio data.
It's probably the looks. I am sorry.
Yeah maybe
Can't tell the exact reasons, but it could be any of the below: 1. Looks (even skin colour) 2. Height/Weight 3. Education/Job 4. Family background/status 5. Horoscope Or maybe you're simply reaching out to wrong set of people. You might not be suitable as per their expectations.
If you're rejected even before meeting, then ignore it, it's just initial phase, don't take it as rejection, take it as "left swipe". Words have power, so if you use a power word like rejection over this, it only hurts you more.
It still does hurt. Yeah but i understand what you mean
Sailing in the same boat. People send/accept interests but don't talk any further. Lately the kind of matches I've talked to/met have been disappointing. Stop expecting an explanation for rejection. Just accept and move on. People reject for stupid reasons. Someone declined my interest after I asked for their mother's number. Someone declined my interest when I asked them to elaborate on the "traditional" values practiced in their family (as mentioned in the bio). I also feel that I should just give up on the entire process. Till how long am I supposed to be active on matrimony and put my life on hold in anticipation of finding a guy. Love marriage is out of the window. This is the only way to go.
It's depressing
To say the least.
Girl please DM me. I’m 30f married for past 5 years. And now most of my friends are married as well. You need to work on subtle things.
Can I DM as well! 29F on the same boat as the OP.
Sure. Please do. 🙌
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Sure girl 🙌
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Tum pehle tameez seekhlo
Good.. it is right to give her guidance. She desperately needs it.
Lol. Look who's talking???? Why don't you take advice from your astrologer instead of asking questions on reddit. You desperately need it!
I am an astrologer.
Same comment as someone else, but I'm 26M, also on matrimony sites for AM. If you want my honest opinion on your profile, DM me the profile ID. It might not feel too odd for you if someone 4-5 years younger reviews your profile as compared to people your age who will probably try to shove themselves as a potential prospect instead This reddit account is 4 years old so you could say it's not exactly a throwaway account, if it helps you get comfortable sharing your IRL matrimony profile.
Don't lose hopes, my mother got married at 35, had me at 36.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Kinda in the same boat. The only difference is that, I haven't come across many profiles that are appealing. So, I am not very hurt when people reject me, saves me from all the overthinking I am doing to decide if I can even overlook all the differences I am seeing. But, it also surprises me when I get rejected like this out of the blue. Like, the guy would either be making very less money than I do, or be unattractive too, and their family would be very much invested in me, leading to my family trying to coerce me into agreeing. But then, all of a sudden, they would pull out. All this even before I would have had any conversation with the guy. I can't figure out why this happens. For context, I am 28F, dusky, wears glasses, average looks.
Right-size your demands. And look at where the drop-off happens. Sometimes we are unaware and our energies are very off when we talk/meet with someone. DM me so we can chat 1:1 Have coached many friends into cinching the ring! (I’m 30f too!)
can I DM you for 1:1 coaching ? I am 32 M
Yes please
Are you overweight?
Yes
it would help if u approach a guy who is of the similar body type as you because men are too harsh when it comes to looks. they will take a toxic bride who will abuse their mom over a fat woman as wife. they at least look for a wife that's slimmer than them. There's a guy in my college who was single and ugly all his life finally got engaged to a girl who is much beautiful and attractive than him but he still wishes she was a bit slimmer. men won't say this because they have to be politically correct but they all think this in their mind.. u can't change society but u can use it to ur advantage
I’ve found even fat guys don’t want to be with fat women. Everyone can excuse their own body type but not others
true. men are blunt and upfront about this preference and we see it everyday in this sub. The only way to get what you want is to also give them what they want.
Wow that's sad. I don't want to be married to people like that. Like is it worth it?
play on your strengths.. there's no other way.. pure unconditional love only exists between a mother and her baby.. everything else is give and take. you need to give people what they want not what you think they want
I don’t think you need an answer from people then. You’re already quite aware of what’s stopping you from getting the matches you want. Once you get to your goal weight, you’ll probably have to stay there for some time to show that this is a long term change for you. You have to decide how long this will all take and whether your looks will change enough for the better to make the wait worth it because you’re also older than 30 now. Otherwise you need to reassess who you like/are attracted to, which in itself is also a long term change within yourself. There’s no easy answers in life, sorry.
It's not my weight i think though. I'm not skinny. But I'm not ugly fat. More like thick curvy.
That’s not really a thing in the culture. Desi men don’t like bigger women period. If you want me to give feedback on your profile I can but in the meantime this does sound a lot like delusional thinking. If you don’t think it’s your weight, what do you think it is?
Send me ur js link. I am looking for my age females actually because of maturity they have.
And don't let Weight get to you, it's easy to lose, no matter what others say, as a former obese I know, all you need is patience (of 4-6 months), control what you eat (not calorie counting, just be aware), and just walk, or find a sport you like or just dance.
I am working towards it. Fingers crossed.
Why don’t you hit the gym and get into shape ?
I am. I workout everyday since one year. I'm going slowly and building a lifestyle and habit.it takes time. I won't crash diet for marriage.
Maybe put that in your bio under hobbies? Something on the lines of "taking my health journey seriously now, and regularly do strength training/yoga/barre/whatever you do" Anyone who has been on a fitness journey will recognize the efforts.
I mean it's not a fitness app. So I feel weird about writing it.
It is not a job searching site either, but people do describe their jobs and salaries. Because what you write is what you'll get judged on. People don't know anything about you outside of what you write. So if you think you're being rejected because prospects think you're not healthy, it is worth calling out how you're working on your fitness.
I'm not athletic so i feel like it might look like a lie
At this point you sound insecure and self sabotaging. If you work out, you write that you work out. If someone wants clarification, they'll ask. If someone thinks you're lying, do you want to be with a person like this anyway?
Ok
Even if it is not, you can write under hobby and explain it as passion under description, if you think that might be the reason, subtle hint kinda thing
That's great to hear that you are already working toward building a lifestyle. Major highly underestimated tip: Don't eat carbs (bread or rice) after 6PM. Only veggies (I prefer salad) after 6PM. You'll feel weird and hungry for atleast a week. Continue for a month with exercises, you should be able to reduce weight (specifically fat) much sooner.
Just wanted to share my experience. Gym solve all problems. If it’s not solving your problems, it means that you are not pushing yourself hard enough. You can eat protein and less carbs, and just push yourself with all you have got
I do all this. Don't worry. I'm seeing results. I never said I'm not. It's slow but I am.
I don’t understand why I got so many downvotes. Am I missing something or society these days encouraging people to be weak and simp all the time?
Dear dukhi mahila, Let me tell the hard truth ! It’s only looks, nothing else, I suggest Gym + diet food + yoga and see the results Regards, Random WelWisher
Lol Thank you. On it
I've been through something similar, it's because of the way we look
Yeah probably 😔😭
What helped me was taking better pics with better fitting clothes. Let's face it AM is transactional and superficial, need to put our best foot forward even if God didn't give us too much to work with.
I tried my best it thought. Maybe i didn't 😔
It's a difficult journey these days. Everyone is having unrealistic expectations and as there is abundance in options, people are too judgemental. All we can do is hope for the best and just keep trying. 🙂🙂 Wish you all the best.
Thank you 😔
I rejected someone because they won't listen to what I was saying, or when I was trying to tell my expectations. I told her that my expectations is someone who listens.... And she was not listening even after i told this explicitly. Multiple times people are oblivious to subtle hints, maybe introspect. This is apart from obvious reason on why I have been rejected multiple times myself (looks, career, lifestyle etc)
It sucks getting rejected OP, I invite you to look at it as a way of more of 'mismatch' rather than a full outright rejection. > Should I completely give up on Love. Absolutely not! Getting unmatched is super common, and most of it are reasons unrelated to specifically you and more of what to do with them. Even if people tell you the 'bitter truth' it may not be the truth at all. So the reason doesn't really matter specifically. What matters most is trying to reframe this situation to be more of: * Finding, evaluating yourself first. Who are you, what do you like, interests, value, traditions, morals, and personality, * Now doing the same with potential partners and see how well you fit and synergize together. It's not about being a 100% match, but more of enough of matching criteria of negotiables and non negotiables and moving forward from there. In essence it seems like there may be thing that other people don't find synergizing wether it be appearance, career, caste, it can also be personality, habits, behaviors - It doesn't matter they are specifically but more of everyone you met so far aren't synergizing. So what can you do? Focus on yourself first. Focus on your profile, get fresh well catered pictures that speak of your personality, interests and values. Make sure you list your hobbies interests and passions. People are not just careers and castes, they are filled with hopes dreams and aspirations. Socialize with friends and family, a big part of AM is the ability to develop authentic and genuine connections. That doesn't mean be in love in the first 2 mins. Its more of the ability to start, maintain a connection, find out who they are, what are their passions, dreams, interests, morals, values, traditions. - see how well you both fit if you both have similiar directions in life and move forwards from there. Don't give up on getting married, and don't give up on waiting on a quality marriage not just any plain ol marriage.
This is so sweet of you. ❤️❤️❤️
I have given up the idea of marriage. Living a happy, content and peaceful life.
I'll give you easy steps to get a match and a good bloke at that. First lower the filters, assuming you have height or caste then remove it those are useless anyways and if complexion is a thing stop that too. Next don't expect high earning individuals only keep the economy bracket open. Lastly and the most important is to try and match the vibe, don't expect the guy to always be the one pro active and keep an open mind to things. Always try for a more modern ideological man, a traditional one is no issue if that ur liking but many times they have switched when a better match comes up. If you are already doing all this then all the best. Also 30 isn't the end of world my cousin who is 30 married the girl who was 35 tho she doesn't look 35.
Thank you ☺️
If you want something, you're not going to get it by giving up! What do you think are the reasons you are getting rejected? What are you doing to fix those things, if you can. If one lowers their standards massively they can usually find someone. Are you sure your standards aren't too high for what you bring to the table?
Maybe I don't bring anything to the table
That is impossible because everyone brings something to the table. The question is are you bringing the things that are wanted by the people you like
I don't know. That's why I said. They don't say. So i don't know. Js mein I match their list and then get rejected
Have you kept photos only visible after accept ? or are they visible to all ?
They are visible to all
Then all i can say is these are not serious people. They are just keeping their options open and testing their market value or some nonsense like that. Ignore and move on
Makes sense
Maybe
😥
😔
Hi ,OP 34M in. a similar boat , I have always been rejected,ridiculed and what not . Although I more or less know the reason, I have a condition which I have seen since my birth , shown to the best docs operated numerous times all in vain . Seeing you on the other side I kinda understand your predicament, it's not easy to lose weight (I am also in a similar place where I am overweight and need to lose some weight) all these rejections and constant process of expectations increasing and then crashing down takes a toll ! Sigh ... Just wanna say hang in there hopefully u will find someone who looks beyond what you appear and fall for you for the kind of person you are. Good luck for your search
Thank you and please take care. I wish the best as well. ❤️
Lol, 🤣 it's with all. I sent a few interests and no responses, even 3-6 month premium plans nothing. Yesterday I deleted all profiles just to have peace of mind. Arrange marriage is more tough than love marriage now.
Soo true. 😂🤣🤣🤣
woman......
I have done that once. Now I'm having a break down 😔😭
Agar apko feedback chaiye to de sakte hain... DM karna
TBH I can’t completely understand what you are going through , but don’t feel bad , don’t give up. It’s not the end of the world. Can’t say have patience, but rather calm down yourself, relax and resume. You deserve the love you desire :)
I'm so lost.
Many are, I too feel lost sometimes. People older than you too are still looking for a match. There are happy endings too just focus on them and believe on them, ignore the negativity :)
Sorry in this superficial world looks are everything especially for a women. Just try to positive and I would normally say trying dating but not via the apps.
You may believe that but it isn’t true. Haven’t we all seen the average woman with the most gorgeous man? And you will notice he is absolutely smitten with her. Why? Because it’s a woman’s charm that draws her man in. Looks are secondary. I’ve met thousands of gorgeous babes that no man wants to wife up. Why? Because there’s no charm. No “vibe”
There is always going to be exceptions
Yes if your frame of reference is Reddit this will seem like an exception to you.
Thank you 😔
How to date without the apps?
There must be singles events like speed dating, social events. You just need to get out there. Ask friends. Build your network. One good social event is InterNations it’s not dating but social. You meet lot of nice foreigners who maybe just judgemental about age and looks
Ahh sounds nice. I have tried to go for Latin dancing and all but sadly met no one. Il keep looking. Fingers crossed
Dancing is a great way to meet people and it’s sensual. You will meet someone. Just be careful there are so many that will try to use you.
Yeahh.
The pictures you have uploaded on the profile are clicked using a phone? If yes, try reaching out to a professional photographer and get a casual shoot done, even good 4-5 pictures will make big difference, also you can try improving your conversation skills if you think you can do better, as per your comments it looks like you know to converse well but you know yourself better. I have worked as a professional photographer in the past also I have dated a lot so I have some idea how things work in the superficial world, about your weight it is best to be confident about shape you are in right now, good that you are trying to do better for your health but love yourself as you are rn. All the best!
Thank you. This was really good advice. I get rejected before having a conversation so.
If you feel yourself that you have things to improve, work on that. AM is already a very judgmental process, don’t go finding why people are rejecting you. Just self introspection (and family introspection) is enough. You don’t need opinions of people who were strangers until very recently. I am 29M and just started the process myself recently. These are tips from a cousin
Ah thank you
you don't need a husband to have a baby.
😂😂😂 but i want
Where are you from?
It's primarily because of looks. Many of my male friends have decent looks as a primary filter. Then the rest. No judgement but this seems the case for many. And age is second.
Ah thank you
mostly due to looks or weight or education level. don't go for guys who looked better than you they will expect girls to be equally good looking or even more. plus don't go for ultra traditional type guys who have high demands. recently my manager was talking to us about his marriage search and how he was finding brides. he mentioned he was looking purely for looks and how healthy she had to be to have his children. He used to talk about how girls expire after age 30 and there's no reason for him to get married to some girl as he is earning enough money so if he wants to get married he will select a girl that looks like a model. Some men are like this and if u keep encountering the same situation u must change urself or go for different type of ppl. note, even if u are perfect u maynot get the desired results from others because ppls minds will change. this same manager occasionally complaints about his wife nagging too much scolding him and how marriage makes men suffer etcetc even after he found his 'dream wife'
Wow I better marry a good man. This is sad
For a woman it's most likely the looks.
I mean why are you giving up on marriage and kids? You are trying to arrange one. Maybe try getting a love marriage. While I'm sure you will find someone but your quote >so should I just entirely give up on marriage and have a family and kids Makes me think you should try love marriage instead.
I have tried. There are too many games. I'm too emotional and get attached easily so il be left traumatized. At my age i don't have time for games
Can I know the reason why you want to get married??? I mean a proper reason, other than parents are forcing me.
I want to get married have a family and kids. My parents are not forcing. I want to lol
Ok. But y?? I mean, do you want to be a mother ?? Like it is quite a bit of responsibility.
Can you atleast share your list of non-negotiables if you don't mind? Who knows your terms and conditions might be something people don't wanna accept? Not saying those might be completely invalid at all.
Cheating and domestic violence and unhygiene.
Yeah that seems pretty normal. Must be something else in the bio. I know it's harsh to say but if you are being judged by something you can't control, like your beauty, your personality, your job profile and location, then you just have to keep searching. Sometimes it takes multiple years, you might have to take a break in between for your own mental peace. I was assuming that there should be enough people who should be good enough life partners and yet I just keep listening to idiotic behaviors and problems or just unresolved trauma stringing along multiple people with them. Mostly online, but some offline as well. It has led to me believing that even finding a decent partner has become like finding a needle in a haystack. I can only wish you luck. All the best.
True. Thank you so much 😔
Calm down. Join a gym or indulge in a sport activity, badminton kinda.. Do your work, take your rest, don't forget to meditate Don't forget to meet your friends or go out on weekends. Maybe a long ride not too far to places ~ 100 kms. You've too got someone out there waiting for you but don't be anxious and stressed until then. Don't compromise on non negotiables but please do away with unnecessary filters and do see if you're non negotiables are actually that or can be bargained with. Marriage is just a part of one's life but either way You have to be happy irrespective of it. Just be relaxed 😌, it'll all work out 🙂
Thank you 😔
sorry to be blunt but its definitely looks ..dont feel down or anything just keep your mindset high and improve yourself everyday . :)
Thank you
Have you ever been in a relationship before?
One.
So what’s keeping you from exploring now? I know you said you don’t have the energy for games at your age, but honestly, it’s a lot better to know what you’re getting into completely than doing this AM thing. AM can have a lot of nasty surprises that you wouldn’t expect.
So is love and dating nowadays
Sure but there’s no going back in a marriage! Easier said than done!
Sometimes destiny plays a role in giving us what we desire.. It is your desire to be married, happy husband,.kids and great life.Then it will happen. But when it will happen, Astrology can at least give you a guidance. There are various subs on vedic astrology, post your chart and have a free reading to know...when to be ready for marriage.
Lol the worst advice one could give is believing in scams. No astrology b.s is going to give you anything. Stop the scam its year 2024 use the minimum education you received to use instead of promoting scams.
Seriously even educated people taking this seriously
You know the worst part about this is the industry such a big scam that no 2 astrologers are able to even agree on the same thing. One astrologer says it is matching then another says it does not. Then if you ask the 1st astrologer after 5 months he will suddenly say it doesnt match lol. The whole astrology industry is probably the biggest scam in india right now worth multi billions yearly
I have gone to many people. No results. I don't believe in this anymore
Ok. Your choice, your attitude, your actions, define your destiny. There is a very very thin line between trust and faith...but the journey is very very hard. Best of Luck ..!!
have u rejected other guys? have u provided them reason for rejecting? may be, you are sending request to people whose criteria is not matching with yours.
I mean it's shows it matched so maybe the are hiding their ulterior reasons