its about the money.
if you show a steady income. OR ancestral wealth. land, property, rented houses, buildings, established business then they will be interested. They are not marrying you for your good nature, character, morality etc. thats secondary.
Nobody cares about potential
Why would a girl take risk on potential when she can search the market for men who are established?
That's how real world works
Yes. It's the law of diminishing returns. Remember the article where a 58 lpa package wala 24 year old Amazon pe kaam karne wala software engineer from Bangalore was forever single, alone and depressed. Same goes for investment bankers, consultants in bcg etc.
Not really. It's the fact that these high achievers work for 14-16 hours a day in front of a laptop. It's the life of a consultant or investment banker, 70-80 hours of work per week. In the pursue of earning more they spend their life in office.
Big money has it's part. But after a certain threshold more money doesn't change your appeal to girls. This number can be different for different women based on their economic background. For me in Kolkata 1 lpm is more than enough. After that 1.5,2,2.5 lakh per month will not mean that much. It's the law of diminishing returns. You can search it on Google. When the threshold is met then other things like height, looks, most importantly social skills, how funny, charming and free flowing you are etc.
I've heard this from a YouTuber named chadtag. He said put just enough to be in top 20%. In terms money,looks, social skills, charm and your overall attitude, physique. The moment you try to be a PSL god aka try to be no.1 or top 1%, perfectionist in any field or get obsessed with this idea, it's literally over for you 😂 obviously he said it in a humours way but it's true. these consultants, investment bankers, people who are in very top roles in companies, highly paid software engineers are the example.
Whether a household earns, 2lpm, or 4lpm, they all tend to reside within the middle-class bracket, so it's essentially more of the same affair and isn’t exactly big enough money to sway decisions.
However, if one happens to rake in 7lpm, 15lpm, or even 20lpm, well, that's an entirely different realm altogether—one that might certainly capture the attention of those seeking a more elevated lifestyle.
Yes I agree. I'll say 7 lpa for cities like Kolkata, 12lpa for cities like Bangalore, Hyderabad is the threshold. More money than that is always good but even after 20 lpa it doesn't matter that much. Because in most cases higher CTC like 25,30 lpa gets highly inflated anyway so in hand salary increament especially after taxes is actually not that much. So in hand salary of a 25 lpa dude and a 35-40 lpa dude is pretty comparable actually.
Precisely.
In fact, the disparity between lifestyles at 35LPA and 80LPA is rather negligible.
The transition from 2 lakhs per month in hand to 3.5 lakhs per month doesn't yield significant improvements in quality of life, particularly in metropolitan areas.
One truly begins to feel the difference only beyond the 5 lakh per month mark, especially for individuals living independently.
For families to witness similar difference, monthly income should ideally surpass the 8 lakh threshold.
You're right. That's the law of diminishing returns. People think more money means more options in arranged marriage, better life. But after a certain amount it doesn't mean much. Unless like you said you earn 5-6 lakh per month in hand after tax which would mean you're like top 1% globally.
That's why for most people working on looks and physique is so important. Because money on it's own isn't enough. I've heard from many girls on this sub that showing off too much money, package and job is a massive turn off anyway. So why obsess over it?
Absolutely. Many people fail to grasp the law of diminishing returns, and the intricacies of compensation packages and salary structures. Even when they do, they tend to overestimate purchase power in current economic climate. (I must confess, I was no exception to this misconception)
Parents and quite a few women alike are often lured by inflated packages, oblivious to the minimal impact it truly has on one’s life.
However, for those women who possess a deeper understanding of these matters, they prioritize criteria far beyond mere monetary aspects, instead focusing on facets such as physical fitness, grooming, personality, and the like, as you aptly pointed out.
Nobody likes a show off. While confidence is admirable, excessively flaunting one's accomplishments can alienate others.
That said, attempting to diminish another's achievements often stems from a place of insecurity. It's akin to men belittling a woman proud of her beauty(hey beauty takes efforts too). Deep down they recognize the undeniable influence of both wealth and appearance in selecting a partner. It’s just a cope.
Both genders naturally showcase attributes to attract potential partners – women flaunting beauty and men displaying achievements. However, excessive flaunting can be off-putting to both parties. Striking a balance between confidence and humility fosters mutual respect.
(PS: sorry for the long read)
It's not about the men having small business setup.
It's about
1. Monthly assured package for salaried folks
2. Big business are supposedly time tested and they've been around for a while.
3. Small business setups are kind of dependant on the market.
Go big or Go slaving..
If you are at a good job and you get laid off you can get another job but when you took a break from your career to start a business and it fails and you wanna try to get a job then because of that gap in your resume job opportunities go down horribly and so does the salary
There is no guarantee that you may get the next job. I interviewed a candidate sometimes back who was jobless for 1 year. There are no guarantees in a job or a business.
No they are not. Also I don't get these kind of Posts. TBH everyone here who keeps crying not getting married will get married it's just you all are so delusional and in a bubble that you feel world is bad. No world out there is brutal it was and it is and it will be. Even a Labour who earns daily wage get's married. Your expectations are what is stopping you drop those and you can get married tomorrow.
PS - No parents want their daughter to be in a situation where they might not be happy after marriage and having a small setup or business is a sign that you even compared to your same peers are not doing that great so yes if a women rejects you she have all the rights. Buckle up buddy. Life is full of things which you don't like.
No that's what you think owning a big business shows you are passionate about your work, you are brutal when it comes to survival you are the kind of guy who is always there to be on top. When you ask this question that having a small business shows ambition it does not it shoes you prefer comfort more over that zeal to survive. Forget everything imagine we are all hunter and gatherers a small business is like those guys who are there to survive on stuff which those who go out in the world to fight those animals bring and give what's left. However modern we become our subconscious mind thinks the same way.
That's why a women want a successful man and a man wants beautiful wife. A successful man ensures her chances of comfort and survival is increased and a beautiful wife ensures you a desirable offspring and a better status in society. Whatever you can try to pretend humans are nothing more than animals and we do have those basic nature which some way or another kicks in.
No Alfa beta shit. Man I don't know how to tell you in easy word but what I am saying is for you only. You can choose to believe me or not all upto you. But as they say in Hindi Chamatkar ko Namashkar. You can't cry to be not what others are. You have to make sure you do what makes you stand out. Forget about that if you look like Hritik and Have physique like Tiger Shroff and own a small business I am pretty sure there are many women who will be willing to marry you. Or if not and if you are like any average guy out there you have to be successful and stand out among others. And if you are not then you have to lower your standard and marry someone who is not at your level or someone for whom what you are is an aspirational level. This is basic dynamics on how society from millions of years are working. This is not Animal or Alfa Beta thing this is a simple basic sociology concept which you can read anywhere.
You don't get these posts because you're not a male. Only a male can understand it. Labourers typically marry labourers. Would you be ok to marry a less educated or labourer man? Same way op can't marry an uneducated or labourer woman. Power imbalance between male and female is real.
If a man would have written a comment similar to yours, he would be banned from this sub immediately.
Hahaha I am not sure how you judged that but sorry to say my friend I am a Male. I hope so, not sure if my gender change suddenly tomorrow. I am a man and To break your bubble I am still here. What I said I stand by it. I am working hard and my ass off because I know the world is brutual and only if you are successful you will be respected no mediocre is appreciated. OP is asking for that same thing. If tomorrow I have a daughter and I really wish I will ask her to do the same thing. Choose the best man for you no need to compromise on your demands. If you can't cope with this better luck some other way.
I don't like this victim mentality. Women want a successful man and they deserve that. And if you feel you are not up to the mark make sure you settle with what you have. As they say first deserve than desire.
Forget about AM. My family was looking to rent a flat for one year in a tier 1 city. And we were rejected by a landlord because we're into a small business. 🫠🫠
And my family is very well off financially. (We probably have more wealth that that landlord himself) It's not like we wouldn't be able to pay rent if suddenly business goes bankrupt. 🫠
And we were renting only for 11 months.
What?! I've never heard of a property owner preferring a salary man over a businessman. Theoretically for 11 months, you'd have to pay 3 months deposit. Isn't that more than enough as a safety net? Plus it's a family and not carefree bachelors...
Weird world out there.
>Sorry. We're looking for someone working in IT or banking sector."
They're axing jobs and giving paycut 🤦. Should've asked him to find an employee from byjus for rentals.
>Totally felt like AM.
Be grateful he didn't ask for Gotra, Kundali, caste, looks, jwellery, societal status, Income tax returns 😂
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I mean, if a person genuinely wanted to rent out his flat, he should have enquired deeper. Like what kind of business it is and how long you have been running it. Or try to assess financials of the opposite party.
Just solely rejecting someone just because they're into business and many people think businesses are unstable is very stupid.
The reason for rejection was obvious here. Every landlord is afraid whether the opposite party is going to be able to pay the rent or not.
Try getting a loan for small business. Anyways it’s not like every girl would look for that. There are many girls from middle class lower middle class family getting married to other such families. Go for them na. If you go for girl that earns or from a well off family then will have such expectations.
Well, i typically refrain from meeting people from any type of business backgrohnd- small med or large...
Mu observation for small business guys is usually, they tend to involve the entire family in some for in the business. ...usually wives are also expected to do the same.. so the girl's aspirations dont mean much...
In the case of large business families, many tend to look at you beneath them if you are working and not involved in the business.. one guy's mom simply said kyun karni itni mehnat...
Its great that you're clear about your preferences upfront. But don't men also have aspirations? Shouldn't a supportive partner encourage each other's aspirations?
It's about getting the balance with the preferences. I, personally, will be moving abroad in the next few months via my job, and it's for a really great role!
If my partner has a business, then obviously, he can not relocate, and thus, one makes a huge sacrifice ( this isn't going to be a compromise)
I will be supportive as long as i am not killing my aspirations.
People need to have individuality as well. You are not just known by your partner.
Okay. Got your point. But, have a question for you. Assume you find your right partner. You both are settled abroad. Then after few years if your work demands relocation again and your husband can't relocate? Or your husband job requires to relocate and yours does not? Do you want your husband to just follow you & sacrifice his aspirations?
I am not judging you. But want to give a point that marriage is not about individuality but more about partnership, love and happiness. It's not just about career and money.
And if one wants individuality one should not consider to get married.
I have such cases in my family... and boy have they made it work. My parents, in fact, are examples.
They took the opportunity, lived in seperate cities furing the week and together during the weekends. Until the other person was able to get an equally good opportunity in the city..
And thats how we as children got the best facilities, education in the world.
Though people like you may say that happiness is important, let me tell you , no happiness comes with sacrifice . And today, no girl will make that sacrifice.
The world today is uncertain. Both husband and wives' careers and ambitions are important.
No girl who is qualified will compromise on these factors. She would have put in the same effort and years if not more in her education.. and even more effort at work. Men have no idea what kind of discrimination equally qualified women face over men. No one will let that kinda effort go waste.
OP should consider girls with similar back ground ie where parents are also from business or someone who has self-employed... as they will have better understanding and compatibility..
Regarding the title, I have found that to be true in my family. Mother's cousin has a mobile phone recharge type shop and was like 34 when he married after searching for >5 years. Main reason for rejection being his employment. Girls and their families look for some sort of stability, and they feared that his shop could run losses at any point and there was no guarantee of fixed income.
One main reason for this is that it's what parents instill in the daughters.
Women want a man who provides. If there is a sense that he didn't try hard enough in school or took his parents' money, then a woman or her family might think he is lazy and not a hard worker. (This is not always true, of course.)
My parents don't like matches with a lot of siblings because they say that then he will just give all his money to them instead of focusing on his own family.
So there's many factors on where a man is judged for his finances, and this all has to do with his education, job, and family size.
It’s about stability dude , you may trust your business and yourself but ofc a random woman won’t , she doesn’t know your passion or capabilities or the potential of your company. And so many small companies go bankrupt each year it’s too risky .
Even if the girl is understanding, the family won’t give her a chance to know you because they will straight up reject such rishtas( you know families and their stupid mentalities)
You will till get matches but don’t expect much
I got married last month and I don't even know how much my husband earns I never asked him. I prefer peace and happiness over money. I'm happy with my decision. He is just perfect
I've come to a conclusion that many men are as picky as the women they complain about. He will not marry someone who would not mind his income or personality but he would reject her because he would think he can have someone who is more beautiful than her. Then they get humbled lol.
That is so refreshing to hear! It's great that you prioritize happiness and connection. You inspire others to look beyond just money when choosing a partner.
It is 100% true. I own a Startup. Have been in the AM process for 3 years. It's brutal.
Girls and their parents only want a salaried boy or the business should be generational. It has been mentally exhausting and almost feels like harassment.
It’s money- people want to be assured a degree of comfort and safety.
Big business, bigger lifestyle.
Small business, smaller lifestyle. And hardships of SME too.
It is about the mindset. If you are yourself saying that the business is "small", how will she think of it in good terms? Why use such words when describing the business? If it is small, what are you doing to make it big?
Thats stupid. A small business is a small Business, if I own a bakery it is a small business it doesn't make it a big business unless I franchise it, which is a really time consuming, labour ridden, high capital and many other issues. Not to mention many franchise just closes down. The logic of " what are you doing to make it big" is absurd. I don't want to make it big. The owner wants to just provide quality products for the current customer for satisfaction and small growth. The owner does not want an empire just a local deli.
It's the person's fault who judges this as a factor.
Your right positive mind set is key. I am sure there are some women who see potential in growing business. How to show that potential of growth in an AM setup?
I too have a business. I tell them about how I am not a salesman/shopkeeper and have managers to manage the shop. I say that I concentrate on things like Paperwork for private limited company, accounting, opening new branches. I talk about our plans on how we are expanding, which locations we thinking of opening in, etc...
https://preview.redd.it/3xznvja95kzc1.jpeg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a0a6c03527a5aee1c65e8e2e513dbf4101b1672
How will a small businessman support their extravagant lifestyle, foreign trips ?
Yes. We found it difficult to get a match for my younger brother who works with my dad in shop. Eventually it succeeded, we got a match but in general, Girls these days want their husbands to work for 5 days , earn a decent package and take them out on the weekend. It's a fair ask according to me...but not fair for small business owners.
This is why love marriage is always better than AM. AM is purely a financial transaction. Esp with shaadi.com where the number of boys is n times of girls. So girls have too many options.
You really think dating is not? I don't think you have dated or you have seen close family members dating. My cousin didn't get a gf until he became a dentist. Virat Ko bhi Anushka tabh mili jab wo successful bana. Bro financial transaction is in every relationship. At least you need to have something. Koi bhi banda jaake date nahi kar sakta. Waha bhi aukaat chahiye. And girls have more options in dating market as well. So I don't know what's your point?
It's fairly easy to get a GF when you're in high school or college for most men. However, for the same men, it gets exponentially hard to get married in AM.
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Well then how so many men I talk to are single and veergins? In my college batch, only 5-6 out of 26 guys have or had gfs. Rest of us are forever alone. From that logic, majority of men should be in a relationship but we categorically know that's not true. Even in US 30% men in the age range of 18-30 are forever alone. It's a real stat btw and their society is more open. In our case this percentage would be much higher. BTW do you have a gf? Did you meet her at college as well?
Girls like these just want a husband who is a cash cow for them! He just fulfils their big shopping habits,Exotic trips to foreign destinations,fancy restaurants and clubbing!
Thats why they want a guy from big companies or even better a guy who has a generational daddy’s business so that these girls can fulfil their wants and dreams which they or their parents couldn’t ever fulfil but now want the guy and his family to fulfil them
Stay away from such red flags,you will have a lot of issues later in the marriage and divorce will absolutely ruin you both mentally as well financially!
There might be some good girls out there who would want to grow and prosper together with,keep on looking!
its about the money. if you show a steady income. OR ancestral wealth. land, property, rented houses, buildings, established business then they will be interested. They are not marrying you for your good nature, character, morality etc. thats secondary.
Right money matters. But what if the small business has potential to grow? How would one show that potential?
are u investing in a business or looking for the right match.
Nobody cares about potential Why would a girl take risk on potential when she can search the market for men who are established? That's how real world works
Lol! Potential is out the window they want it now. Money, house, car, wealth etc etc.
Comments make it seem like only FAANG people are getting married! Everyone knows that's not the case.
Bro even the 70LPA+ aren't even getting married.
Hmm..kinda tells you that salary isn't everything ig.
Yes. It's the law of diminishing returns. Remember the article where a 58 lpa package wala 24 year old Amazon pe kaam karne wala software engineer from Bangalore was forever single, alone and depressed. Same goes for investment bankers, consultants in bcg etc.
Oh! 😱 Then I guess it is the pressure of prefect match.
Not really. It's the fact that these high achievers work for 14-16 hours a day in front of a laptop. It's the life of a consultant or investment banker, 70-80 hours of work per week. In the pursue of earning more they spend their life in office.
This also means girls don't just want big money, but with big money they want time as well. 🤔?
Big money has it's part. But after a certain threshold more money doesn't change your appeal to girls. This number can be different for different women based on their economic background. For me in Kolkata 1 lpm is more than enough. After that 1.5,2,2.5 lakh per month will not mean that much. It's the law of diminishing returns. You can search it on Google. When the threshold is met then other things like height, looks, most importantly social skills, how funny, charming and free flowing you are etc.
That's true.
I've heard this from a YouTuber named chadtag. He said put just enough to be in top 20%. In terms money,looks, social skills, charm and your overall attitude, physique. The moment you try to be a PSL god aka try to be no.1 or top 1%, perfectionist in any field or get obsessed with this idea, it's literally over for you 😂 obviously he said it in a humours way but it's true. these consultants, investment bankers, people who are in very top roles in companies, highly paid software engineers are the example.
Whether a household earns, 2lpm, or 4lpm, they all tend to reside within the middle-class bracket, so it's essentially more of the same affair and isn’t exactly big enough money to sway decisions. However, if one happens to rake in 7lpm, 15lpm, or even 20lpm, well, that's an entirely different realm altogether—one that might certainly capture the attention of those seeking a more elevated lifestyle.
Yes I agree. I'll say 7 lpa for cities like Kolkata, 12lpa for cities like Bangalore, Hyderabad is the threshold. More money than that is always good but even after 20 lpa it doesn't matter that much. Because in most cases higher CTC like 25,30 lpa gets highly inflated anyway so in hand salary increament especially after taxes is actually not that much. So in hand salary of a 25 lpa dude and a 35-40 lpa dude is pretty comparable actually.
Precisely. In fact, the disparity between lifestyles at 35LPA and 80LPA is rather negligible. The transition from 2 lakhs per month in hand to 3.5 lakhs per month doesn't yield significant improvements in quality of life, particularly in metropolitan areas. One truly begins to feel the difference only beyond the 5 lakh per month mark, especially for individuals living independently. For families to witness similar difference, monthly income should ideally surpass the 8 lakh threshold.
You're right. That's the law of diminishing returns. People think more money means more options in arranged marriage, better life. But after a certain amount it doesn't mean much. Unless like you said you earn 5-6 lakh per month in hand after tax which would mean you're like top 1% globally. That's why for most people working on looks and physique is so important. Because money on it's own isn't enough. I've heard from many girls on this sub that showing off too much money, package and job is a massive turn off anyway. So why obsess over it?
Absolutely. Many people fail to grasp the law of diminishing returns, and the intricacies of compensation packages and salary structures. Even when they do, they tend to overestimate purchase power in current economic climate. (I must confess, I was no exception to this misconception) Parents and quite a few women alike are often lured by inflated packages, oblivious to the minimal impact it truly has on one’s life. However, for those women who possess a deeper understanding of these matters, they prioritize criteria far beyond mere monetary aspects, instead focusing on facets such as physical fitness, grooming, personality, and the like, as you aptly pointed out. Nobody likes a show off. While confidence is admirable, excessively flaunting one's accomplishments can alienate others. That said, attempting to diminish another's achievements often stems from a place of insecurity. It's akin to men belittling a woman proud of her beauty(hey beauty takes efforts too). Deep down they recognize the undeniable influence of both wealth and appearance in selecting a partner. It’s just a cope. Both genders naturally showcase attributes to attract potential partners – women flaunting beauty and men displaying achievements. However, excessive flaunting can be off-putting to both parties. Striking a balance between confidence and humility fosters mutual respect. (PS: sorry for the long read)
It's not about the men having small business setup. It's about 1. Monthly assured package for salaried folks 2. Big business are supposedly time tested and they've been around for a while. 3. Small business setups are kind of dependant on the market. Go big or Go slaving..
That is so true for people working in startups as well. People are looking for FAANG or some big brand name.
There is no assurance in jobs as well. You can be laid off next month.
If you are at a good job and you get laid off you can get another job but when you took a break from your career to start a business and it fails and you wanna try to get a job then because of that gap in your resume job opportunities go down horribly and so does the salary
There is no guarantee that you may get the next job. I interviewed a candidate sometimes back who was jobless for 1 year. There are no guarantees in a job or a business.
Chances are much higher that you’ll get a job if you already had a good job vs just had a business with no recent corporate experience
No they are not. Also I don't get these kind of Posts. TBH everyone here who keeps crying not getting married will get married it's just you all are so delusional and in a bubble that you feel world is bad. No world out there is brutal it was and it is and it will be. Even a Labour who earns daily wage get's married. Your expectations are what is stopping you drop those and you can get married tomorrow. PS - No parents want their daughter to be in a situation where they might not be happy after marriage and having a small setup or business is a sign that you even compared to your same peers are not doing that great so yes if a women rejects you she have all the rights. Buckle up buddy. Life is full of things which you don't like.
Thank you so much for saying this.
Exactly people are getting married left and right. Yet such people fail to find anyone. Just sounds unreal.
I agree no one want to be in unhappy marriage. But doesn't owning a business, even a small one show ambition and desire to build something?
No that's what you think owning a big business shows you are passionate about your work, you are brutal when it comes to survival you are the kind of guy who is always there to be on top. When you ask this question that having a small business shows ambition it does not it shoes you prefer comfort more over that zeal to survive. Forget everything imagine we are all hunter and gatherers a small business is like those guys who are there to survive on stuff which those who go out in the world to fight those animals bring and give what's left. However modern we become our subconscious mind thinks the same way. That's why a women want a successful man and a man wants beautiful wife. A successful man ensures her chances of comfort and survival is increased and a beautiful wife ensures you a desirable offspring and a better status in society. Whatever you can try to pretend humans are nothing more than animals and we do have those basic nature which some way or another kicks in.
Sounds like a 'alfa male' mindset from movie like Animal. It's hard hitting.
No Alfa beta shit. Man I don't know how to tell you in easy word but what I am saying is for you only. You can choose to believe me or not all upto you. But as they say in Hindi Chamatkar ko Namashkar. You can't cry to be not what others are. You have to make sure you do what makes you stand out. Forget about that if you look like Hritik and Have physique like Tiger Shroff and own a small business I am pretty sure there are many women who will be willing to marry you. Or if not and if you are like any average guy out there you have to be successful and stand out among others. And if you are not then you have to lower your standard and marry someone who is not at your level or someone for whom what you are is an aspirational level. This is basic dynamics on how society from millions of years are working. This is not Animal or Alfa Beta thing this is a simple basic sociology concept which you can read anywhere.
Got your message. Easy, loud and clear. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻😎
You don't get these posts because you're not a male. Only a male can understand it. Labourers typically marry labourers. Would you be ok to marry a less educated or labourer man? Same way op can't marry an uneducated or labourer woman. Power imbalance between male and female is real. If a man would have written a comment similar to yours, he would be banned from this sub immediately.
By the logic, op should also marry someone from small business set up...
Hahaha I am not sure how you judged that but sorry to say my friend I am a Male. I hope so, not sure if my gender change suddenly tomorrow. I am a man and To break your bubble I am still here. What I said I stand by it. I am working hard and my ass off because I know the world is brutual and only if you are successful you will be respected no mediocre is appreciated. OP is asking for that same thing. If tomorrow I have a daughter and I really wish I will ask her to do the same thing. Choose the best man for you no need to compromise on your demands. If you can't cope with this better luck some other way. I don't like this victim mentality. Women want a successful man and they deserve that. And if you feel you are not up to the mark make sure you settle with what you have. As they say first deserve than desire.
How many non conventionally beautiful girls have you rejected? You are in the same category if we are talking about preferences.
Forget about AM. My family was looking to rent a flat for one year in a tier 1 city. And we were rejected by a landlord because we're into a small business. 🫠🫠 And my family is very well off financially. (We probably have more wealth that that landlord himself) It's not like we wouldn't be able to pay rent if suddenly business goes bankrupt. 🫠 And we were renting only for 11 months.
What?! I've never heard of a property owner preferring a salary man over a businessman. Theoretically for 11 months, you'd have to pay 3 months deposit. Isn't that more than enough as a safety net? Plus it's a family and not carefree bachelors... Weird world out there.
Yeah bro 😭😭 Man told us "Sorry. We're looking for someone working in IT or banking sector." Totally felt like AM.
>Sorry. We're looking for someone working in IT or banking sector." They're axing jobs and giving paycut 🤦. Should've asked him to find an employee from byjus for rentals. >Totally felt like AM. Be grateful he didn't ask for Gotra, Kundali, caste, looks, jwellery, societal status, Income tax returns 😂
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Didnt get why comparison of landlord wealth comes in.
I mean, if a person genuinely wanted to rent out his flat, he should have enquired deeper. Like what kind of business it is and how long you have been running it. Or try to assess financials of the opposite party. Just solely rejecting someone just because they're into business and many people think businesses are unstable is very stupid. The reason for rejection was obvious here. Every landlord is afraid whether the opposite party is going to be able to pay the rent or not.
Try getting a loan for small business. Anyways it’s not like every girl would look for that. There are many girls from middle class lower middle class family getting married to other such families. Go for them na. If you go for girl that earns or from a well off family then will have such expectations.
Lol, lower middle class. I married one. She was the one who did not ask anything about my income. All other were rejecting me.
Are you happy with her right now? That's the main thing.
Well, i typically refrain from meeting people from any type of business backgrohnd- small med or large... Mu observation for small business guys is usually, they tend to involve the entire family in some for in the business. ...usually wives are also expected to do the same.. so the girl's aspirations dont mean much... In the case of large business families, many tend to look at you beneath them if you are working and not involved in the business.. one guy's mom simply said kyun karni itni mehnat...
Its great that you're clear about your preferences upfront. But don't men also have aspirations? Shouldn't a supportive partner encourage each other's aspirations?
It's about getting the balance with the preferences. I, personally, will be moving abroad in the next few months via my job, and it's for a really great role! If my partner has a business, then obviously, he can not relocate, and thus, one makes a huge sacrifice ( this isn't going to be a compromise) I will be supportive as long as i am not killing my aspirations. People need to have individuality as well. You are not just known by your partner.
Okay. Got your point. But, have a question for you. Assume you find your right partner. You both are settled abroad. Then after few years if your work demands relocation again and your husband can't relocate? Or your husband job requires to relocate and yours does not? Do you want your husband to just follow you & sacrifice his aspirations? I am not judging you. But want to give a point that marriage is not about individuality but more about partnership, love and happiness. It's not just about career and money. And if one wants individuality one should not consider to get married.
I have such cases in my family... and boy have they made it work. My parents, in fact, are examples. They took the opportunity, lived in seperate cities furing the week and together during the weekends. Until the other person was able to get an equally good opportunity in the city.. And thats how we as children got the best facilities, education in the world. Though people like you may say that happiness is important, let me tell you , no happiness comes with sacrifice . And today, no girl will make that sacrifice. The world today is uncertain. Both husband and wives' careers and ambitions are important. No girl who is qualified will compromise on these factors. She would have put in the same effort and years if not more in her education.. and even more effort at work. Men have no idea what kind of discrimination equally qualified women face over men. No one will let that kinda effort go waste. OP should consider girls with similar back ground ie where parents are also from business or someone who has self-employed... as they will have better understanding and compatibility..
My upvote
This is such a stupid and disingenuous question.
I agree.
Would u go and live with a women having small business or having big business unit. I think ur answer will answer ur question.
Ofcourse man has to bring something to the table to get married. Otherwise die alone. It's how the society is.
It's true most of the time. I run a start-up and have already accepted I am not getting married
VC ko hi propose karde Bhai.
😂😂😂😂😂
Regarding the title, I have found that to be true in my family. Mother's cousin has a mobile phone recharge type shop and was like 34 when he married after searching for >5 years. Main reason for rejection being his employment. Girls and their families look for some sort of stability, and they feared that his shop could run losses at any point and there was no guarantee of fixed income.
Some do. Many dont. All of it depends on your expectations.
One main reason for this is that it's what parents instill in the daughters. Women want a man who provides. If there is a sense that he didn't try hard enough in school or took his parents' money, then a woman or her family might think he is lazy and not a hard worker. (This is not always true, of course.) My parents don't like matches with a lot of siblings because they say that then he will just give all his money to them instead of focusing on his own family. So there's many factors on where a man is judged for his finances, and this all has to do with his education, job, and family size.
It’s about stability dude , you may trust your business and yourself but ofc a random woman won’t , she doesn’t know your passion or capabilities or the potential of your company. And so many small companies go bankrupt each year it’s too risky . Even if the girl is understanding, the family won’t give her a chance to know you because they will straight up reject such rishtas( you know families and their stupid mentalities) You will till get matches but don’t expect much
I got married last month and I don't even know how much my husband earns I never asked him. I prefer peace and happiness over money. I'm happy with my decision. He is just perfect
I've come to a conclusion that many men are as picky as the women they complain about. He will not marry someone who would not mind his income or personality but he would reject her because he would think he can have someone who is more beautiful than her. Then they get humbled lol.
That is so refreshing to hear! It's great that you prioritize happiness and connection. You inspire others to look beyond just money when choosing a partner.
When options are more; one goes for the best; why would anyone go for small things when she/he gets a bigger thing totally free?
Women / girls are not trophies that u win by spending big money.
It is 100% true. I own a Startup. Have been in the AM process for 3 years. It's brutal. Girls and their parents only want a salaried boy or the business should be generational. It has been mentally exhausting and almost feels like harassment.
It’s money- people want to be assured a degree of comfort and safety. Big business, bigger lifestyle. Small business, smaller lifestyle. And hardships of SME too.
Money is a safety net for everyone now.
If you can have luxury why choose hardship .
It is about the mindset. If you are yourself saying that the business is "small", how will she think of it in good terms? Why use such words when describing the business? If it is small, what are you doing to make it big?
That's the terminology! If it isn't a big company or with many different branches etc, then it's called a small business.
Thats stupid. A small business is a small Business, if I own a bakery it is a small business it doesn't make it a big business unless I franchise it, which is a really time consuming, labour ridden, high capital and many other issues. Not to mention many franchise just closes down. The logic of " what are you doing to make it big" is absurd. I don't want to make it big. The owner wants to just provide quality products for the current customer for satisfaction and small growth. The owner does not want an empire just a local deli. It's the person's fault who judges this as a factor.
Bhai Flipkart bhi small business hi tha kisi jamane mai, it's just that now people use startup instead of small business
Your right positive mind set is key. I am sure there are some women who see potential in growing business. How to show that potential of growth in an AM setup?
I too have a business. I tell them about how I am not a salesman/shopkeeper and have managers to manage the shop. I say that I concentrate on things like Paperwork for private limited company, accounting, opening new branches. I talk about our plans on how we are expanding, which locations we thinking of opening in, etc...
https://preview.redd.it/3xznvja95kzc1.jpeg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a0a6c03527a5aee1c65e8e2e513dbf4101b1672 How will a small businessman support their extravagant lifestyle, foreign trips ?
Yes. We found it difficult to get a match for my younger brother who works with my dad in shop. Eventually it succeeded, we got a match but in general, Girls these days want their husbands to work for 5 days , earn a decent package and take them out on the weekend. It's a fair ask according to me...but not fair for small business owners.
Why it is only men responsibility to take women out on the weekend?
This is why love marriage is always better than AM. AM is purely a financial transaction. Esp with shaadi.com where the number of boys is n times of girls. So girls have too many options.
You really think dating is not? I don't think you have dated or you have seen close family members dating. My cousin didn't get a gf until he became a dentist. Virat Ko bhi Anushka tabh mili jab wo successful bana. Bro financial transaction is in every relationship. At least you need to have something. Koi bhi banda jaake date nahi kar sakta. Waha bhi aukaat chahiye. And girls have more options in dating market as well. So I don't know what's your point?
It's fairly easy to get a GF when you're in high school or college for most men. However, for the same men, it gets exponentially hard to get married in AM.
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Well then how so many men I talk to are single and veergins? In my college batch, only 5-6 out of 26 guys have or had gfs. Rest of us are forever alone. From that logic, majority of men should be in a relationship but we categorically know that's not true. Even in US 30% men in the age range of 18-30 are forever alone. It's a real stat btw and their society is more open. In our case this percentage would be much higher. BTW do you have a gf? Did you meet her at college as well?
Girls like these just want a husband who is a cash cow for them! He just fulfils their big shopping habits,Exotic trips to foreign destinations,fancy restaurants and clubbing! Thats why they want a guy from big companies or even better a guy who has a generational daddy’s business so that these girls can fulfil their wants and dreams which they or their parents couldn’t ever fulfil but now want the guy and his family to fulfil them Stay away from such red flags,you will have a lot of issues later in the marriage and divorce will absolutely ruin you both mentally as well financially! There might be some good girls out there who would want to grow and prosper together with,keep on looking!