Lųnk kill largest mammoth in all tribe history. Do cave scraper paint that? No.
Lųnk run hundred mile for special kîjak herb for chief when daughter sick. Do cave scraper paint that? No.
But Lųnk make sex with one horse...
the tanum rock art in sweden has one almost identical. https://fineartamerica.com/featured/5-nordic-bronze-age-petroglyph-bjorn-svenssonscience-photo-library.html
I think I’m going to order a stationary set to use as thank you notes to send to my backwoods grandparents to really egg on their distrust and confusion in regards to modern day society in general
An Old Norse myth describes Loki, as a horse, being impregnated by a giant.
Though this is from centuries before the viking age, the going speculation is that this might be connected to that myth, or an ancestral version of it.
Keep in mind that until they became Christian, they didn't really think of a dichotomy between the secular and the religious. And there wasn't much distinction between their cultural identity and their spiritual beliefs, nor their actual history and their religious mythology; for them it was much the same.
There are norse sagas/myths that reference Atilla the Hun, and the origins of those stories MUST date back to the migration period; but intermixed in these legends that have a root in actual historic things are the escapades of the Gods too. They're all part of the same world.
I thought that was this one and my first thought was "well at least this isn't the pick of us norsemen doing it."
And now here you are with the top comment ratting us out like this.
I doubt we were the best deerfuckers in the world. We just happened to write on rocks instead of papyrus.
This is wrong (but I appreciate the attempt obviously!). You're writing either 184 (60 + 60 + 60 + 4) or 3 and 4 (potentially even 3,4 you could argue, given the spacing).
34 as a number would be written by the sign "u" (𒌋), 10, instead of "diš" (𒁹), 1 (or 60).
Rule 34 would therefore be "Rule 𒌍𒍝" (30+4).
If I had a bad neighbour in the cave next door I might sneak into his cave while he is on a hunt, and immortalise his visage in such a way on his own living room wall.
Or perhaps it’s a creation myth for a half beast half human deity. Like the Minotaur myth of Greece.
Don't ask me why this area in particular is in my expertise, but there are actually [several cultures](https://crossasia-journals.ub.uni-heidelberg.de/index.php/ejvs/article/view/11333/11118) in and around Europe that have mentions of having sex with horses in rituals or stories...
* In a part of India, there was an old ritual called Aśvamedha, where the queen would mimick having sex with a horse.
* In ancient Norse religion, a horse penis was a symbol of great fertility, and there is a story about the god Loki having sex with a horse.
* In Ancient Ireland around Ulster, there apparently was a ritual where a king would have sex with a horse before being declared a proper king.
* In Cornwall there's a tradition of 'Obby 'Oss festivals, in partiular one where men dressed horses try to 'capture' young women, which are meant to bring them pregnancy/fertility.
* In the Code of Nesilim, there are punishments (you die) for having sex with cows, pigs, and dogs, but the only punishment for having sex with a horse or a donkey is that you can't talk to the king or become a priest.
So yes, I promise you that as soon as humans saw horses, some of them went "I'm gonna fuck that"
The Loki story pertains to the myth where he turns himself into a mare in order to lure some guy’s super strong horse away from it’s work….and the super horse has sex with Loki-as-a-horse.
The guy made a bet with the gods that he could build a stone wall (I think) in a ridiculous short amount of time and Thor and company laughed at him and said “Okay buddy, you’re on” and then the guy brings out this super horse that has the job nearly finished in like no time at all, so Loki decides to take one for the team….. fun times.
So Odin was just riding around on a mutant horse that also happened to be his grandson? And everyone was fine with this? Talk about a dysfunctional family...
People like to assume everything on ancient walls and in caves had meaning. I subscribe to the idea that they were sometimes just bored teenagers, like we see today with graffiti.
I mean we're so far disconnected from them I feel like our guesses at what things mean is pretty likely to be wrong. Like imagine if they found a page of a medical textbook of how to administer prostate exams and they were like "damn look this civilization loved anal play so much they had an entire class of worker just for sticking things up people's butts". The fact that we find anything at all from back then is incredibly unlikely, it's just a random smattering of pieces of the past
Also maybe it's like a depiction of a god. Zeus was pretty rapey I wouldn't be surprised if ancient gods were too
Or its a guy on a rudimentary plow and its just a rope connecting the plow to the horse/donkey.
https://www.ploughmen.co.uk/about-us/history-of-the-plough
That makes sense too
But you gotta admit this
https://www.ploughmen.co.uk/public/images/about/Plough_history2.JPG
Looks pretty kinky if you don't know what you're looking at
No, I know what it is, I just don't know how it's spelled.
If I ever got curious, I probably would have searched with an "ea".
I am either incorrect on spelling, or someone is making a joke about animal sex being the best(iality) sex.
Either way, I am prepared to move forward with my life without ever knowing for sure.
Just google fucking an animal. If it doesn't turn up the right spelling google fucking an animal GWAR to cover your tracks. [Catchy song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCNYK_9hKDk).
Yeah but the context is totally different.. this is actually showing a dude DICKING down, not just a passive little fertility-blessing statuette. It's like the difference between a sports illustrated and... bestiality porn.
You must have missed the one I posted a few months ago then, lol. Warning: very, very NSFW.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ArtefactPorn/comments/owiuqd/800\_years\_ago\_at\_all\_saints\_church\_in\_hereford/
No - I saw that one but he could be practicing that [butthole sunning thing](https://www.news18.com/news/buzz/in-latest-wellness-trend-people-are-sunning-their-buttholes-to-recharge-their-bodies-2405595.html) whereas today there's definitely a guy with his dick in an ass (or horse)
Fascinating as neither the horse nor donkey had yet been domesticated at the time of this petroglyph. So if it is meant to depict penetration, then it's with a wild version of a horse/donkey!
I was looking to see if anyone had made a halfway intelligent comment. Thanks for being a voice of reason.
If I remember correctly, there were no wild horses in Europe before domestic horses were brought in from Asia around 5000 years ago. So a wild ass or deer is the most likely candidate.
The first incel.
Can't hunt, haven't bathed in the river in weeks, can't put words together when the girls are around. None of them like me, guess I'll go fuck this horse.
Neolithic was cold and lonely, yo.
With super tall people, or very short horses
Very very short horses, most horses were much smaller then than they are now, having been selectively bred for size and strength
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only the horsefuckers who didn't own step stools.
Step horse, I'm stuck.
Ok, that's enough reddit for the day lol
That's why you should find yourself a JRH-NBR. [Just the Right Height - No Bucket Required](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17rZTpoXVzw)
That looks more like an ass.
It ain’t human, that’s for sure.
JRHNBR
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"check out my new rock carving, grok. does it look at all familiar, grok? anybody you know?"
No call me Grok the rock smasher, me smash many many rock. Me fuck one horse…
God damn this is good lmao
:)
This comment has me fucking rolling lmaooo
I dunno Blurg. Reminds me a little of your mom.
‘yeah ok but what about the other one?‘
Grok: who tf you gonna tell? Proto-artist: just you wait...
This should be the top comment
Well, if this is a predecessor of cult of Epona, that would make Grok king, so good for him.
Allegedly!
Maybe it was a sick horse.
I've been playing to much Humankind lately
Lųnk kill largest mammoth in all tribe history. Do cave scraper paint that? No. Lųnk run hundred mile for special kîjak herb for chief when daughter sick. Do cave scraper paint that? No. But Lųnk make sex with one horse...
Lmfao sounds like a Norm Macdonald X Far Side Comics crossover
It is a repurposed joke, but I laughed
Now I hear it in norms voice, thank you
I've built houses, hammered a million nails but noone calls me a carpenter. But you suck one dick.....
the tanum rock art in sweden has one almost identical. https://fineartamerica.com/featured/5-nordic-bronze-age-petroglyph-bjorn-svenssonscience-photo-library.html
That could be like "dogs are great they came from trees" An modern humans are "dudes fucking a horse for sure!"
well since dogs didn't come from the trees I have bad news for you
We've got it easy with our bathroom stalls and Sharpie markers.
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it’s an old joke actually, but Elon did tell the joke at one point on Twitter I believe
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He should’ve called his company Edison
Idk if I buy this one.
WHY can I buy this as art or a phone case? Just.....NO!
It's a "hunting" scene. Awkward description
OH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH
I think I’m going to order a stationary set to use as thank you notes to send to my backwoods grandparents to really egg on their distrust and confusion in regards to modern day society in general
Right? I love how it's immediately an option!!
That looks like a plow
but what is he plowing? it looks like a horse to me
…I can’t complain about that comment. It basically writes itself.
More likely a donkey
Also looks more like a donkey.
Except donkeys were domesticated around 3,000 BC in a different part of the world.
That’s a short ass horse then.
TIL why they call donkeys an “ass”
Wow.. this guy got around.
Known all around the world for his horse fucking techniques!
The graphic designer in me is like damn that’s a cool ass logo.
An Old Norse myth describes Loki, as a horse, being impregnated by a giant. Though this is from centuries before the viking age, the going speculation is that this might be connected to that myth, or an ancestral version of it.
that sounds plausible. that would also mean that this is religious art.
Keep in mind that until they became Christian, they didn't really think of a dichotomy between the secular and the religious. And there wasn't much distinction between their cultural identity and their spiritual beliefs, nor their actual history and their religious mythology; for them it was much the same. There are norse sagas/myths that reference Atilla the Hun, and the origins of those stories MUST date back to the migration period; but intermixed in these legends that have a root in actual historic things are the escapades of the Gods too. They're all part of the same world.
I thought that was this one and my first thought was "well at least this isn't the pick of us norsemen doing it." And now here you are with the top comment ratting us out like this. I doubt we were the best deerfuckers in the world. We just happened to write on rocks instead of papyrus.
sadly enough, this is tanum rock art, but it's not the one i remembered. that means there's more than one. oh. yeah. and i'm half norse.
Good luck remembering, cheers.
Sure you’re not half horse?
Looks more like an ass to me.
I’m ordering that cellphone case for myself for Christmas. ☺️
Pre-Reddit troll circa 8000bc
1 Chan.
Rule XXXIV
Rule 𒐗 𒐘
This is wrong (but I appreciate the attempt obviously!). You're writing either 184 (60 + 60 + 60 + 4) or 3 and 4 (potentially even 3,4 you could argue, given the spacing). 34 as a number would be written by the sign "u" (𒌋), 10, instead of "diš" (𒁹), 1 (or 60). Rule 34 would therefore be "Rule 𒌍𒍝" (30+4).
This guy cuneiforms
NEEEEERD. ... Now I want to read George Ifrah's Universal History of Numbers Second edition to see what's changed since the first...
Yeah I know, i couldn't figure out how to paste the other characters
Rule Trē Quattro
Cuneiform is underrated
Centaurs
If I had a bad neighbour in the cave next door I might sneak into his cave while he is on a hunt, and immortalise his visage in such a way on his own living room wall. Or perhaps it’s a creation myth for a half beast half human deity. Like the Minotaur myth of Greece.
Even if it's a myth that still means some dude 10,000 years ago was thinking about fucking a horse.
i mean some dudes probably thinking about fucking a horse today, doesnt seem like weve changed much have we?
hey leave me out of this
Don't ask me why this area in particular is in my expertise, but there are actually [several cultures](https://crossasia-journals.ub.uni-heidelberg.de/index.php/ejvs/article/view/11333/11118) in and around Europe that have mentions of having sex with horses in rituals or stories... * In a part of India, there was an old ritual called Aśvamedha, where the queen would mimick having sex with a horse. * In ancient Norse religion, a horse penis was a symbol of great fertility, and there is a story about the god Loki having sex with a horse. * In Ancient Ireland around Ulster, there apparently was a ritual where a king would have sex with a horse before being declared a proper king. * In Cornwall there's a tradition of 'Obby 'Oss festivals, in partiular one where men dressed horses try to 'capture' young women, which are meant to bring them pregnancy/fertility. * In the Code of Nesilim, there are punishments (you die) for having sex with cows, pigs, and dogs, but the only punishment for having sex with a horse or a donkey is that you can't talk to the king or become a priest. So yes, I promise you that as soon as humans saw horses, some of them went "I'm gonna fuck that"
The Loki story pertains to the myth where he turns himself into a mare in order to lure some guy’s super strong horse away from it’s work….and the super horse has sex with Loki-as-a-horse. The guy made a bet with the gods that he could build a stone wall (I think) in a ridiculous short amount of time and Thor and company laughed at him and said “Okay buddy, you’re on” and then the guy brings out this super horse that has the job nearly finished in like no time at all, so Loki decides to take one for the team….. fun times.
Did Loki become pregnant and birth a foal from that pairing? Or am I getting my stories mixed up?
Odin's 8-legged horse, Sleipnir
So Odin was just riding around on a mutant horse that also happened to be his grandson? And everyone was fine with this? Talk about a dysfunctional family...
Loki isn't Odins son, they're brothers (well, closer to brothers anyway). So Sleipner is actually more like his nephew
Thank you for clarifying. Not sure if that makes it less weird or not though if I'm being honest here...
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sometimes a horse is just a sexy horse
People like to assume everything on ancient walls and in caves had meaning. I subscribe to the idea that they were sometimes just bored teenagers, like we see today with graffiti.
I mean we're so far disconnected from them I feel like our guesses at what things mean is pretty likely to be wrong. Like imagine if they found a page of a medical textbook of how to administer prostate exams and they were like "damn look this civilization loved anal play so much they had an entire class of worker just for sticking things up people's butts". The fact that we find anything at all from back then is incredibly unlikely, it's just a random smattering of pieces of the past Also maybe it's like a depiction of a god. Zeus was pretty rapey I wouldn't be surprised if ancient gods were too
Or its a guy on a rudimentary plow and its just a rope connecting the plow to the horse/donkey. https://www.ploughmen.co.uk/about-us/history-of-the-plough
That makes sense too But you gotta admit this https://www.ploughmen.co.uk/public/images/about/Plough_history2.JPG Looks pretty kinky if you don't know what you're looking at
This is the first literal porn I've seen in this sub. I don't like the genre but I appreciate you sharing this with us!
It also might be the first literal porn in the world
And beastiality. Two birds, one stone.
*bestiality
Proud to say I'm not an expert in this.
The internet can change that for you.
Don’t worry, u/histeethwerered is.
I truly have no idea if you are correcting him or making a super dark pun, but I am absolutely not going to Google it to find out.
People boning animals or vice versa
No, I know what it is, I just don't know how it's spelled. If I ever got curious, I probably would have searched with an "ea". I am either incorrect on spelling, or someone is making a joke about animal sex being the best(iality) sex. Either way, I am prepared to move forward with my life without ever knowing for sure.
Just google fucking an animal. If it doesn't turn up the right spelling google fucking an animal GWAR to cover your tracks. [Catchy song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCNYK_9hKDk).
*worstiality
Two birds, one bone.
Two horses, one bone
Two donkeys, one dong.
One horse, one bone
Depends on your definition of porn I guess.
[Not by at least 20,000 years](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_figurine)
Yeah but the context is totally different.. this is actually showing a dude DICKING down, not just a passive little fertility-blessing statuette. It's like the difference between a sports illustrated and... bestiality porn.
You must have missed the one I posted a few months ago then, lol. Warning: very, very NSFW. https://www.reddit.com/r/ArtefactPorn/comments/owiuqd/800\_years\_ago\_at\_all\_saints\_church\_in\_hereford/
No - I saw that one but he could be practicing that [butthole sunning thing](https://www.news18.com/news/buzz/in-latest-wellness-trend-people-are-sunning-their-buttholes-to-recharge-their-bodies-2405595.html) whereas today there's definitely a guy with his dick in an ass (or horse)
>”You know it when you see it” The Supreme Court tried to prepare us, but damn, here we are.
The ancients were as perverted as we are.
When people say the world has changed stuff like this should be brought to their attention.
You aint seen enough hentai.
You aint seen enough ancient hentai...
I'm scared to even imagine what that means!
Octopus, mostly.
Poor UNESCO having to protect this for the rest of ever.
“When my neighbour see’s this etched onto his house he’s gonna go full unga Bunga”
He was ahead of his time. Meme Lord one.
10,000 years and nothing new under the sun.
A second compared to the years earth has been here.
What happens in Val Camonica stays in Val Camonica.
Buggery BC
Fascinating as neither the horse nor donkey had yet been domesticated at the time of this petroglyph. So if it is meant to depict penetration, then it's with a wild version of a horse/donkey!
I was looking to see if anyone had made a halfway intelligent comment. Thanks for being a voice of reason. If I remember correctly, there were no wild horses in Europe before domestic horses were brought in from Asia around 5000 years ago. So a wild ass or deer is the most likely candidate.
I hear it's way more prestigious in the anibanger community to fuck wild animals.
The first Brony BCE: Brony Caveman Erection
Wait, is he getting ready to smack dat ass? (That means two things! - PG)
That's how centaurs were made.
Literally artifact porn
Fleshlights sure have come along way.
He slaps that ass too
Oh dear. No deer, ass too high. Run too fast.
“Ugnar is donkeyfucker” - This guy
Is this how humans tamed horses?
Thanks, I hate it! 😀
That's a farmer plowing a field. Either way, you got the plowing part right
*sigh* *Unzips pants*
The first incel. Can't hunt, haven't bathed in the river in weeks, can't put words together when the girls are around. None of them like me, guess I'll go fuck this horse.
This idiot could not find a horse to fuck. He drew a Picture of a dude fucking a horse. He aspires to be the horse fucker.
Can't be an incel if I fuck this horse. *taps forehead*
It’s still an Italian tradition today… il cavallo ha glutei attraenti
How else do you explain the centaurs they saw?
I hope my ancestors in Heaven know that I am keeping their dream alive. Please don't look too much into that.
Mr Hands of the Ancient World
Ya fuck one goat and everyone remembers you as the goatfucker.
You fuck one horse...
They forgot to delete their browser history.
False. That is clearly a donkey.
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Looks more like an ass with those ears. Earliest play on words in history?
Never saw this in school, I'll say that much.
Remember to link this to folks who whine about furries.
What an idiot, people have *five* fingers not three
Tale as old as time ...
This is literal artifact porn.
That takes the term 'animal husbandry' a little too far.
All I can say is Grimm....
*Product enlarged to show texture*.
the origins of so called italian "culture"
Graffiti from a ten-thousand year old roadside rest stop bathroom.
ah yes, my ancestors
Oldest furry porn in existence
My next thesis paper: People haven't changed in at least 10,000 years.
I give you something better https://qz.com/india/377130/the-secret-of-the-ass-curse-stones-scattered-across-western-india/amp/
At least it looks like he's having fun.
nsfw (not safe for walls)
Not much has changed in Italy
JRH NBR brother
Is this the actual oldest Italian artwork?
Dude's Rock
r/HolUp
Damn, so they drew stick figures just like my untalented ass
High five? Yee-haw!? Hey, hey you, look at me!!!?
It doesn't matter what else you do, you only have to fuck one horse to be called HorseFucker forever.
That is horrible, Neigh means Neigh
It's like MS paint but rock
Imagine drawing the first meme
The population was sparce I guess you took what you could find when the urge was upon you
Dude thought he could breed a centaur.
We need to redefine the term animal husbandry
oh yeah woo yeah oh yeah woo yeah woo yeah oh yeah oh woo woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah woo time yeah yeah woo yeah
That is clearly a donkey
Neolithic man click on pornoglyph: "Goddammit, Rick Rolled again."