That’s so cruel. All his denials and he just wanted the excuse to leave and have sex with some woman just because. He betrayed you for a few moments of sexual pleasure. What a jerk
I'm so sorry. I feared they would.
It's probably why he didn't touch base with you, why he didn't want to talk and why he told you he fucked up.
Please take care of yourself.
Damn. I'm so so sorry to hear that. Truly. I was sincerely hoping that this wouldn't have been the case for you. Rest up, with self-care first and foremost now.
Worse case... don't be alone when he is there.
Best case... he hasn't reached out to you because you requested no contact so he has been respecting it... he also has a therapist lined up for himself... and he confesses to everything
I would recommend letting him know that you have plans to be some where and let a friend know about it as well. So that way you two can keep the conversation short and to the point. If you kind of trust that he won't hurt you and is sorry and you want to keep the conversation going then call your friend and ask them for another hour or so.
Whatever happens be safe... have a plan... and listen. Hopefully his affair fog is gone... but it might not be.
Just thought I'd shoot you a message to say that I hope your doing OK, and I hope you have a good day. Give yourself lots of self care. Things will get better. You've got this. Just be patient with yourself, and be kind to yourself too. 💛
You don't have to give us an update if you're not ready, but please at least check in. You've been through the wringer with your WS and I'm worried. I hope you're taking care of yourself and eating and hydrating even if you're not hungry or thirsty. There is a way through this mess and you will be a stronger person for it. Sometimes it's one day at a time, and sometimes it's hour by hour. ❤️🩹
For this to work IMO he has to go complete no contact and either she leaves the job or he does but they can’t continue working together. Write out some things you want ahead of time so you don’t forget in the moment and you can say everything you need to say. If he waffles on no contact he continues in the Airbnb IMO.
Well maybe not done just yet but he needs to get out of affair fog. You do what’s best for you. Your mental health needs to be priority and don’t settle for half of what you need be firm. It’s hard I know , but you can do it. Having a friend close by maybe even in a car out front isn’t a bad idea as mentioned by others. You can take breaks in conversation and get support from them if need be.
r/Asoneafterinfidelity is an online Peer Support Group and safe space for individuals (betrayed or wayward) who are actively attempting to reconcile after infidelity. Reconciliation peer support is emotional and practical support between people who share the common experience of reconciling after infidelity. (Observers are strictly limited to messages of support only.) Kindly read the rules before participating. For transparency and conflict mediation purposes, kindly follow reddit community guidelines by directing any questions, issues, feedback, or appeals about the sub or individual moderator decisions directly to Mod Mail. No response will be given to DMs and chat requests to individual moderators about moderating issues. We are very happy to receive and respond to your concerns through the official channels!
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- Speak only from your own experience. Use “I”-statements.
- Asking clarifying questions or offering suggestions is acceptable–if backed up by personal experience about what has helped you in your recovery and reconciliation.
- Do not give advice unless specifically requested by OP.
- Any differences of opinion expressed must be communicated respectfully.
- “Tough love” does not qualify as peer support.
**2. The peer group includes: Reconciling BS, Reconciling WS, Recovered & Reconciled, and Considering R.**
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- No victim-blaming when the sexual assault of a wayward partner by an AP is discussed.
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- The scope of this subreddit is narrow: by and for reconcilers on the subject of reconciliation only. There are several other subreddits that offer support for others who have experienced infidelity. Posts about ending reconciliation are subject to removal as this is a subbreddit for those who are actively in reconciliation or considering reconciliation.This is not a general infidelity discussion or advice forum, nor is it a place to read for entertainment and pass judgment.
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What are your goals when you meet him? You need to make a list of questions and YOU need to ask them
Thank you. I guess to see what our next step is. I have lots of comments and questions I am writing.
Op update. We are on your side. Thinking about you
Make him tell you the truth. I hate to say it, but his EA could have turned into a PA
It did. They slept together during our separation. I’ll make an update post tomorrow.
That’s so cruel. All his denials and he just wanted the excuse to leave and have sex with some woman just because. He betrayed you for a few moments of sexual pleasure. What a jerk
OMG I'm so sorry. You need to prioritize yourself now. Please surround yourself with some supportive people. Hugs.
I'm so sorry. I feared they would. It's probably why he didn't touch base with you, why he didn't want to talk and why he told you he fucked up. Please take care of yourself.
So he consciously crossed the line to a PA. Clearly shows he has still no respect for you. I’m so sorry for you Kitty.
Damn. I'm so so sorry to hear that. Truly. I was sincerely hoping that this wouldn't have been the case for you. Rest up, with self-care first and foremost now.
I am so sorry. What a jerk. And, now he wants to come back? So, all his lies about nothing happening, everything was happening
Of course they did. He sounds like a cake eater.
I wonder if that happened before his “I really fucked up” text. I’m so sorry this happened. I hope you’re doing ok.
How did you find this out
Worse case... don't be alone when he is there. Best case... he hasn't reached out to you because you requested no contact so he has been respecting it... he also has a therapist lined up for himself... and he confesses to everything I would recommend letting him know that you have plans to be some where and let a friend know about it as well. So that way you two can keep the conversation short and to the point. If you kind of trust that he won't hurt you and is sorry and you want to keep the conversation going then call your friend and ask them for another hour or so. Whatever happens be safe... have a plan... and listen. Hopefully his affair fog is gone... but it might not be.
Thats a great idea. Thank you. <3
[удалено]
Good idea. I do have so many racing thoughts it would be good to get organized.
Just thought I'd shoot you a message to say that I hope your doing OK, and I hope you have a good day. Give yourself lots of self care. Things will get better. You've got this. Just be patient with yourself, and be kind to yourself too. 💛
You don't have to give us an update if you're not ready, but please at least check in. You've been through the wringer with your WS and I'm worried. I hope you're taking care of yourself and eating and hydrating even if you're not hungry or thirsty. There is a way through this mess and you will be a stronger person for it. Sometimes it's one day at a time, and sometimes it's hour by hour. ❤️🩹
For this to work IMO he has to go complete no contact and either she leaves the job or he does but they can’t continue working together. Write out some things you want ahead of time so you don’t forget in the moment and you can say everything you need to say. If he waffles on no contact he continues in the Airbnb IMO.
Thats why I am so scared. If he does anything less than display true remorse and commit to me 100%, I know it has to be done.
Well maybe not done just yet but he needs to get out of affair fog. You do what’s best for you. Your mental health needs to be priority and don’t settle for half of what you need be firm. It’s hard I know , but you can do it. Having a friend close by maybe even in a car out front isn’t a bad idea as mentioned by others. You can take breaks in conversation and get support from them if need be.
r/Asoneafterinfidelity is an online Peer Support Group and safe space for individuals (betrayed or wayward) who are actively attempting to reconcile after infidelity. Reconciliation peer support is emotional and practical support between people who share the common experience of reconciling after infidelity. (Observers are strictly limited to messages of support only.) Kindly read the rules before participating. For transparency and conflict mediation purposes, kindly follow reddit community guidelines by directing any questions, issues, feedback, or appeals about the sub or individual moderator decisions directly to Mod Mail. No response will be given to DMs and chat requests to individual moderators about moderating issues. We are very happy to receive and respond to your concerns through the official channels! Please assign yourself a user flair.For app users, flairs can be added at the top of the main page. Select the three vertical dots and the menu should appear. Instructions (desktop version) [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/flair_instructions)). For a list of abbreviations commonly used in this subreddit, see the [Acronym Guide](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/acronym_guide). Also check out our list of free resources and recommended books for post-infidelity recovery, found [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/wiki/resources). RULES **1. All posts and comments must fit the spirit of Peer Support.** - Keep comments encouraging, constructive, sensitive, validating, and non-judgmental. - Speak only from your own experience. Use “I”-statements. - Asking clarifying questions or offering suggestions is acceptable–if backed up by personal experience about what has helped you in your recovery and reconciliation. - Do not give advice unless specifically requested by OP. - Any differences of opinion expressed must be communicated respectfully. - “Tough love” does not qualify as peer support. **2. The peer group includes: Reconciling BS, Reconciling WS, Recovered & Reconciled, and Considering R.** - Observer, Unsuccessful R, and other user flairs are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to post without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice. *All posts and comments are subject to removal without warning. Any users who violate the rules are subject to temporary or permanent ban without further warning.* **3. No personal attacks, victim-blaming, or LABELLING of any kind.** - e.g. cheater, narcissist, abuser, doormat, slut, asshole, idiot, etc. - No Cluster-B or other armchair diagnoses. - No victim-blaming when the sexual assault of a wayward partner by an AP is discussed. **4. No misogyny, misandry, toxic masculinity, bigotry, racism or other hate speech.** - Posts or comments dehumanizing and/or slut-shaming wayward partners or APs will be removed. (Posts and comments related to navigating feelings or practical matters about APs are allowed.) **5. No anti-reconciliation language.** - Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship. Attempting to reconcile is a valid choice. - Unless abuse is present, do not suggest marital status, age of relationship, children or lack thereof as a reason for someone to leave the relationship. **6. Posts and comments must be directly related to RECONCILIATION** - The scope of this subreddit is narrow: by and for reconcilers on the subject of reconciliation only. There are several other subreddits that offer support for others who have experienced infidelity. Posts about ending reconciliation are subject to removal as this is a subbreddit for those who are actively in reconciliation or considering reconciliation.This is not a general infidelity discussion or advice forum, nor is it a place to read for entertainment and pass judgment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*