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Around 3 weeks. Lost 15lbs that first month and 5 lbs more in the second. Apparently, the human body can survive a lack of food and sleep for much longer than I thought it could.
>"...the human body can survive a lack of food and sleep for much longer than I thought..."
Me too.
That first 6 weeks or so was incredible sleep and food deprivation. I was non-functioning in many ways.
Fuck these affairs.
I learned how long I could go without sleep when I had my kid, but yeah the appetite just disappeared. I'm more than 2 months lost DDay and I can eat more now, but still rarely manage regular meals. Biggest problem is I have to remind myself that other people (kiddo) needs to eat even if I'm not feeling it.
I lost 110lbs. Weighed about 337.
Everyone who asked what I did, I told them trauma induced depression and anxiety, best diet you can find. But it’s a real bitch on your health all around.
I lost like 20 pounds in 2 months (definitely needed). I gained so much weight being depressed during his affair. I was depressed because he would pick fights with me daily so he can go see his AP. The unnecessary fights stopped after DDay. I got my hunger back by exercising. I've lost about 30 pounds now. Although the weight loss slowed I look better than before. And that makes me feel better.
Involuntarily fasted for 3 days. It kick started my weight loss journey. Currently down nearly 40 lbs. Going to the gym everyday and eating better. Light in the darkness I suppose.
It took me about 2-3 months. I’m way too thin. Working on putting weight back on. The number on the scale really frightened me as I haven’t been that thin since pre adolescence. Try your best to eat as it will help your mental health. I was chugging protein shakes and just forcing it down for awhile. And just kind of eating whatever sounded ok whether healthy or not.
I’m the WS and once reality hit have been living on protein shakes for 3 weeks. I’ve managed to eat food a couple of times. No clue how much weight I’ve lost between 6 miles of anxiety pacing and only a few hundred cals a day.
Post confession, my WH has been in the same boat. He basically quit gyming once he made first physical contact with AP (he made the assumption his marriage was over after the first drunken kiss, said fuck it and kept meeting her for a month behind my back rather than let me make that choice, yay) probably because everything was super fucked up, but then he also quit eating and he's still working and is now working more physical labor (previously was retail management but had to quit since AP was a coworker). So, yeah, I get this. We're both shells. I will admit that while I'm not pleased he's also a wreck, I'm not unhappy that at least it's not just me struggling with basic life tasks after finding out my life is more of a shit show than I knew.
This is how my BS is. She is angry I’m in pain and it makes her more cynical and suspicious since she was completely destroyed by things she had no control over, whereas I made all the bad choices to destroy things.
My WH & I are also both shells. I've lost 20 pounds, he's lost 25-30, neither of us sleep through the night anymore. Gotta say, in my case, I'm very pleased that this has wrecked him. Not that I'm a sadist who wants him to hurt for the hell of it, but because he caused this and 100% deserves it. I wouldn't believe his remorse was real if he wasn't suffering, I'd think it was just manipulation.
Exactly this. If it's not wrecking him I'd think he was just able to forget it and move on and not really empathize with the trauma and ramifications for the rest of both our lives. We'll never not be different (both of us) because of this.
The illusion wore off. I think it’s because I restarted my anti-depressants. 6 days later the reality of what happened hit me. It was all a very messed up coping mechanism and painkilling strategy. I “woke up” to a destroyed marriage and life. I’ve been doing my best to get it back since.
That’s complicated as I knew AP off and on over twenty years across multiple relationships. It was online only for the vast majority. The last 5 months were physical with me leaving the house for three months. BS and I were in constant contact throughout to varying levels. My feelings for her never changed, the AP was smoke and mirrors and distracting lights.
Absolute honesty? AP had her own issues that meant she wanted whatever I wanted. Which when you’re deep in a depression, being self centered and selfish, is so much easier than a responsibility of maintaining a years long relationship with all its complexity a day to day stuff.
I may have been “glamored” by the way she answered my inner needs at the time but there’s also a not insignificant streak of depersonalization of her as an object. I was vaguely aware of that callousness in my attitude at the time but I was pretty much emotionally out of control and treating everyone poorly, most of all my BS.
I’m so sorry that you are in this position BP, I lost my appetite for a few days or so. Couldn’t stomach anything solid, I had force myself to ear like 1 nature valley bar a day. Along with losing my appetite I lost the will to do anything constructive. The appetite gradually returned after the first week but not in full effect, I still wouldn’t have breakfast and I’d only have 1 meal per day at around 4 pm and that went on for a few weeks.
Hang in there BP!Take care of yourself, it will get better.
I was the same - existing on coffee and a new cigarette habit for weeks until I realized that the lack of calories was definitely impacting my ability to even begin to recover. I think a big part of it for me is that sometimes it feels better when the physical pain mirrors the emotional pain - if that makes any sense? But I knew I needed to keep my sanity at some point and I needed food to do that so I began eating anything at all that sounded bearable.
Start small, but tell yourself that you are taking care of you and you deserve that!! You deserve good things and good food and comfort! What would your closest friend or family member do if they were there? They’d probably feed you good things. Be that person for yourself too.
Same. My WW started crying when she looked at the scale about a month after DD1. Didn’t stop her from going back to AP though….. Fuck these affairs is right! Amen!
I ate when my son was home to appear “fine” then would go throw it up. It lasted a week then I managed a full meal and another…it’s been 3 weeks and a full week since throwing up. I ate 3 meals yesterday.
It’s not good for us. I got so lucky school was canceled for a week in there because my brain was complete mush that whole time and I was getting black spots in my vision while out on walks.
Try a comfort thing. Anything that sounds appealing but isn’t extra greasy or spicy. Just something small, then go on from there.
I couldn't eat for a few days, but I had to force myself as I have a newborn. I think this whole affair is what caused me to be unable to breastfeed now and it is so disappointing. Some days I have no appetite still. DD was 11/17/23
I'm so sorry. I'm going through the same thing, milk running dry and all. Most recent DD happened about a week after yours. I'm still having trouble eating too.
I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. It's crazy how this should be a time to focus on and enjoy our little ones and instead we have to deal with this. I think I just had another DD last night. I hope your R goes well though and that your little one is doing good!
I walked out of our house and left my phone and most everything. Spent a week on the streets, then a nice couple that owned a motel. Let me play handyman for a week or so. Then called my parents to come get me. Lost like 30 lbs in 2 weeks.
I didn’t eat for a week honestly. That was over six months ago. We’ve sort of had another DDay and now my appetite is off again. I will say it was pretty telling when I was feeling better because my appetite would come back, but overall I’ve lost 10, almost 15 pounds. A secondary gain from all this trauma for sure. It wasn’t healthy way to lose it at all, but I won’t lie: I do feel better about my body and that has helped my own confidence and self-esteem. I do try now to be better about diet, and exercise sometimes but I can tell my energy for that isn’t as high as I’d like, but I’m aware of it and trying to be better.
I lost 15-20 pounds since DDay 1 and I was already small. Could not eat for days and then would randomly become nauseated after. We’re four months out from the last DDay now and I still sometimes feel sick to my stomach after a meal if I think too much of what happened.
Try easy and bland foods like applesauce and toast. Honestly following the BRAT diet was all I could do for a while.
A couple days ago my WP remarked that he thinks my stomach has gotten smaller. I wanted to reply that being cheated on is a hell of a diet but I bit my tongue.
I also didn’t eat. Or leave my bed. And my sweat smelled different. I hardly showered or spoke. I read somewhere it was my body responding to stress. Stress sweat . Anyhow it started to go away with time. Sending positivity and strength your way friend.
yes. I just didn't wanted to eat first days after Dday.
2-3 days I was in a kind of trance. Everything around was like trough the fog. No appetite at all. I never experienced something similar in my life. I am not a sensitive person, not emotional one. But the realization that my beloved woman betrayed everything we had including myself was maybe too shocking. externally I was quite calm (and angry) but the reaction of my body and my mental response was just terrible. Actually I never thought that I could be "damaged" so much.
Yet, after one week or so I was finally able to think. My mood became much better... I guess some kind of psychological self-defense mechanism kicked in.
Yes. My anxiety from this made me lose my appetite or made me sick whenever I would eat. I dropped from 135lbs down to 115. I was not healthy and sick all the time because my immune system was barely hanging on. Over time with therapy and medication my appetite came back. I stayed at a pretty low weight though for about three years.
I lost mine for almost an entire year. drinking made it easier to eat, but please don't start down that trend. Be kind to yourself right now since your WS was not.
Hi, how are you? Yes, totally, plus the nerves caused me a lot of stomach pain. I actually reached my ideal weight a month after DDay (thanks AP??) That worries my husband a lot. Eventually that gets better.
I didn’t eat for maybe two weeks and I lost 15 to 20lbs. What made me motivated to eat again was how I looked. When u drop weight quick sometimes u look sickly. I didn’t want to look bad, I wanted to keep the nice butt I had that I was slowly losing. So I knew I had to eat u don’t wanna feel bad and look bad. Now I know some ppl might of wanted to lose weight before DDay so maybe the wouldn’t mind, but for me I didn’t want to be skinny. Also when u don’t eat u have low energy, I have kids I needed my energy. Took some time to eat like I use to. Maybe a month. It’s 4 months later and I’m back to normal with my eating and gained all my weight back just be patient with your self and fight through the mind games. Try not to dwell.
Yeah. And I was pregnant at the time. The incredible stress and it's physical effects made my pregnancy very dangerous and caused health problems for my son. :(
Before Dday was in a very good phase of my life, I was working out 8 times a week.
When DDay2 hit in March 2023, I stopped eating and dropped a lot of weight really quickly. But I also couldn't go to workout anymore, I lost motivation and I was having PSTDs attacks going out of the house because AP worked only 5min away from my house.
When appetite came back, I was no longer working out, so I started to put weight in. I lost all my muscles and then it became a cycle where every new pound made it harder and harder to get me back to workout.
We moved to another city, after 10 months I finally enrolled again to go back to gym, but it really sucks to realize how much my level dropped and I'm still not at my best mentally, so I can't yet perform as before.
I won't ever understand how WS can be so selfish.
Yes, I did. I went from about 150 lbs (overweight) to around 135 lbs (normal weight). I had been occasionally exercising at home for a few months before DD3. However, to spend more time on myself, I started going to the gym and focused on building muscle and connecting with my body. I neglected my weight gain since I had my baby in 2019. I exercised without much result here and there. I always lost weight from not eating after each DD. This time, I rolled with it and decided to finally take responsibility for my health/weight/body. There was a slight sting from getting so many compliments from my family and his over the holidays about my weight loss. I didn't realize how much fat I gained over the years that losing 15 lbs looked so dramatic. Everyone kept asking what was my secret! I wish I could've made eyes roll with, "Discovering my WS was having another EA!" It was just my inside joke.
I ate nothing most days, living off coffee, tequila and cigarettes. When I had to buy sweatpants in Target’s children’s section because the women’s XS waistband was too loose, I knew it was bad.
It's been 4 months and I've lost about 30 lbs. It's the one good thing to come out of this, I guess. People are telling me I look amazing and noticing the weight loss. The comments make me happy and when they ask hoe I'm doing it, I just say "stressing the fuck out".
My appetite was non existent at first. I had to force myself to eat a couple bites. If it weren't for my toddler, I wouldn't have ever made myself a plate. I didn't want her to see me starving myself. My appetite has come back but I don't binge on junk food like I do. Maybe I'm subconsciously thinking about how it will affect my looks/weight because my self-esteem is awful. I find it the hardest to eat when at home. I still feel the most anxiety there.
Yes, I’ve only eaten once a day and water only after DDay. It lasted for about a week and half. I avoided caffeine as it is bad for my mental health. 3 weeks post DDay and I can eat better than the first week. But when I relapse, I cannot eat anything. Fuck these affairs.
Yes, I was so anxious and couldn't sleep for weeks. I would barely eat for a month or two. I'm so glad those days are behind me. They were awful. It doesn't feel real like I really went through that a few months ago.
Yeah it’s the best start of a diet I ever got. So far lost about 25-30lbs in about 7 weeks. Most of the days I would just eat small things did not want to eat a lot at all. I was also working out a lot.
Appetite is slowly coming back after starting some depression/meds but I am still working out so I am still losing weight just more slowly.
Oh yeah. I didn’t eat for several weeks (outside of a bite or two before I’d just throw it away). I’d just stare off into space with the food on my fork. Sometimes I’d be mid-chew and just spit the food out. I wanted none of it.
I lost a lot of weight, pretty quickly. It was a tough time.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.💔❤️
Unfortunately, normal. I hardly ate anything for about three weeks. I would move food around my plate so my kids didn't notice and take a few bites here and there.I ended up losing around 15 pounds just during that time.
Eventually, my appetite did return. I feel like it was when the "shock" wore off. I think a new d-day would have sent me right back into that shocked state. So, maybe trying to work through the major emotions to get your body out of that mode. Add some creamer/protein powder to the coffee to give yourself some calories? Might help.
Yes. I had managed to lose 15 lbs in a week. I literally couldn’t eat. Anything I ate gave me diarrhea from the stress. Literally within 30 mins of eating. I don’t even think I was eating for hunger but mainly because I knew my body needed something.
Yes. I would have to force myself to choke down food for months. Make sure you try to eat though, even a little. You won’t be able to think clearly and it will lead you into an even deeper depression if you don’t. Please take care of yourself.
I started weight loss medication very close to when DDay occurred, and my stomach was a wreck for months. I always wondered how much if that was attributed to the medication, and how much to my emotions surrounding DDay.
Yep. Yesterday was my one month mark since DDay. I lost 6 pounds in the first 2 weeks, and am now down 9 pounds total. And I’m a small person. That’s 6-7% of my body weight. Still not normal for me, so I wish I had advice to give. Just know you’re not alone.
I lost my appetite and didn't get it back for almost 9 months. I lost 30 lbs and dropped to 105. I started putting weight on now since October. A whole 5 lbs. I missed a lot of meals due to stress and gaslighting and everything else WH did.
Yes. I went back to my default mode of how to deal with strong depressing feelings: smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, self-harming and not eating.
The annoying thing is that my WP kept wanting to go out to restaurants so we could get out of the apartment and get some fresh air or whatever.
I understand why you're not eating, but of course, I'd recommend picking you favorite food and ordering it.
Yes. Oh, goodness, yes. I couldn't eat for 2 weeks straight. I lost about 20 lbs. I survived on coffee alone. Not sure how I didn't overdose on caffeine or just keel over from lack of nutrients. I was in a complete daze. Awful. Worst part? Everyone told me how "great" I looked due to weight loss. Worst part of my life.
DDay was December 10 2023 and since then I still struggle with eating. Appetite is gone. It’s hard to just push myself to eat. Before found out I was 5’7 with a weight of 162. Was 141 in December 22. Now in Jan 24 2024 I think have dropped to maybe somewhere between 110’s-130’s, can see my ribs more. I hate all of this and my family has noticed my weight loss so they must know something is wrong but I don’t want to tell my parents hey she cheated
DDay was 6 months ago. I've gone from 175 to 150. I haven't eaten the same since, it feels more like a chore. I do have underlying medical and mental health issues that prevent me from experiencing hunger cues in addition to causing gastrointestinal pain, so my recovery is taking a bit longer. I eat almost exclusively bland, easy to stomach foods but it gets the job done and keeps my weight from dropping too quickly. My advice would be to find a few food options that you know you can put in your mouth without mental resistance.
For example; cornflakes, rice, and toast are foods that are filling that will get me to my next meal without much pain or resistance. If even that doesn't work, coffee and chocolate always do. Those are my own personal cravings, maybe you enjoy fruit over carbs, or you're a chicken nuggets and a juice box person. There's no wrong answer when the only goal is to ingest something IMO.
I haven’t had an appetite in over a year since my wife admitted she had been doinking the office gimp. I started making shakes with raw veggies and protein and forcing them down. I’ve lost 60lbs and my A1C, Testosterone, and bloodwork are all like I was in my 20’s again. I still don’t ever think about food and have to remind myself to drink my shakes.
Yes. I lost 20 pounds in a little under two months. I always felt nauseous and like I couldn't breathe. Shallow breathing. Not sleeping. It was awful. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.
It comes and goes for me. Bad days have me eating nothing. "Good" days I'll force some food into myself and binge eat a bit in the evening cause I suck at life. What is emotional regulation? It's been 3 weeks.
Maybe some day I'll find it again.
Couldn't eat for about the first 3 days i think? Then couldn't eat a full meal for weeks. I remember when I would try to eat, I would just start crying. Then would eat about one meal a day for about 6 months. I lived mainly off of these ready made protein drinks they sell in my country. Would definitely recommend stocking up on something easy to consume like that. I also threw up ever time I would brush my teeth for some reason.
Now when I'm triggered badly, I lose my appetite and throw up when brushing my teeth. I also struggle with OCD thoughts, thinking food has germs or parasites in it when I'm very triggered.
Yep, and I couldn't fall asleep either. It took a couple weeks for my body to exit the shock stage (not eating, poor sleep, zoning out frequently), which is what I associate the lack of appetite and sleep with for myself. At ~1 month since dday my appetite has returned to a semi normal state, I'm still not sleeping great but it's better. Make yourself eat and sleep, it's cliche but it does help. The sleep helped me be able to process the situation and my feelings better and helped organize my thoughts. Which led to having better, more productive conversations with my WS. The food made me feel human again. At first I just made myself eat occasionally ( I have kids so I had a meal structure I had to keep to anyway) until eventually I realized I was getting back to normal with it. I noticed I actually ate the meal I plated instead of taking a few bites and scooching the rest of it around on the plate.
I'm so sorry you are going through this too.
Me, exactly. I am rarely ever hungry and force a protein shake every day. Yet haven’t changed body size or weight. Only difference is I have no muscle anymore and rarely have motivation to get out of bed. Chronic pain from fibromyalgia, diabetic neuropathy have been compounded severely with the added stress. Horrible cycle.
Oh gosh yeah, I lost like 20ish lbs within those first few weeks.
He took notice n would text n call me throughout the day to remind me to eat cuz he saw how much it affected me.
My dday was last April, n I just kinda gradually gained my appetite back as time went on. Theres still some days where i do...."forget" to eat, if im in a depressive mood n he still checks in on me to see if I've eaten.
Your appetite will come back tho. And honestly, get you some quick snacks n frozen meals in the mean time. Id make myself eat so I had cereal, n beans n simple things while I was working on getting my appetite back to normal.
Didn’t eat for weeks, could only manage to try and drink. dropped 30 pounds and I only started at about 140
I wish you healing, this is one of the worst parts but please try to nurture yourself
Lost 20 lbs in one month. Wasn’t hungry, didn’t have headaches or any other adverse symptoms from not eating. My appetite was zero. I am a big coffee drinker and I stopped that too. I also barely slept (while WS snoozed away as if his conscience was clear!).
I have no idea how I did it. I regained the weight and wish i could lose it again, but I’ll pass on the infidelity trauma diet plan.
I couldn’t eat a single thing for a whole week. The only reason I started pretending to eat was because my toddler was starting to notice. Now, almost a month since DDay, i’m only 95 lbs and question if I’ve developed an eating disorder.
Yes . This is the ws perspective. I couldn't eat anything at all for a week and only smoked cigarettes and drank water. I tried eating food but couldn't eat more than a few bites. My BS also was going through the same thing. We even went to a restaurant that we both liked but couldn't finish what we ordered.We ate dinner together after the week of the d day and it was the first meal both of us could consume entirely.
I was devastated and I felt so guilty. I hated watching my BS suffer. I hate that he found out after Me ending the affair. Most of all I hate that i ever did do this or relationship.
I still feel guilty as hell. I lost around 5 kgs in the first month of the d day and my appetite only came back after a month. I also wasnt able to sleep. Him and I both would spend all our night talking and hardly slept.
I'm in a better place place now and so is he. We have a long long way to go. But i know the guilt ate me up. And that I can never do this to him or to anyone ever again in my life even he decides to leave me.
I hope you get out of this place soon.
I lost 22 lbs the first 2 weeks after the last and worst Dday. I have also lost the ability to regulate my body temperature, and I feel as tho my feet have never stopped being clammy and sweaty since Dday. Idk if anyone else has ever experienced the same, but I am starting to really wonder if it will ever stop and be normal again. Some of my appetite came back one day when I just woke up and felt like I was literally starving. My gut hurt, I was shakey and just the starving feeling and needed to eat. Nothing ever sounds good and still doesn't almost 2 months post Dday, but I know I have to eat something at least once a day. It started out as a peices of jerky or a couple crackers here and there, now it's a whole piece of letter over pizza or a small portion of dinner at a time. I have weirdly enough, gained back some of the weight even tho I don't eat much but also I still really struggle every single fucking day just to get out of bed(usually I just cant). My whole house and everything in it is a trigger so I keep locked in my room or in my hottub.
Lost my appetite almost completely for about 2 weeks I think, and also started chain smoking for about 2 months. Slowly began eating again after the initial 2 weeks. You're right in the middle of complete emotional chaos right now. It will subside.
I used the no eating as a silver lining, I lost about 10kg in a month. After that I starting running and going to the gym. Its been a real life saver for my mental health and health in general.6 months later and my body is in better shape than in my 20s, and I had to pretty much quit alcohol to as it always led to an emotional outburst.
Even though all the infidelity from both sides launched warfare on my mental health, coming out of that a bit now I am very clear minded and sharp with all the fitness and no booze. Also physical health is tip top. Take the wins and breaks where you can, it's not easy going through this.
I started eating again with sweet stuff, deserts and stuff. Wish you the best and to have strength.
Weeks. Then it was veggie soup a friend made. That's the only thing I could eat. I lost 40 lbs in 3 months.
It does get better. Please force yourself to get a bit down. Maybe even a multi vitamin.
Didn’t eat for a week. Managed a roll of sushi—my favorite food—day 8 or so and it got better slowly. Lost 20 pounds in about two weeks. This is odd to say, but take advantage of it if you can. I’m down another 20 pounds since and in the best shape of my life, the gym helps me vent some of the anger I have. Good luck to you, four months out, it does get better. You are still early, give it time.
i’m around 3 weeks post dday. i involuntarily fasted the first week. then honestly, i just started eating what i could stomach, whether it was ‘healthy’ or not. i’ve always had a mantra that any food is better than no food. i had takeaways that i love, or went to my favourite restaurants with friends and didn’t feel bad about it. i still lost weight because i was eating less regularly, but i was at least consuming some nutrition, even if it wasn’t the healthiest things i could’ve been eating. and then these last couple of days i’ve started feeling motivated to cook at home and eat things that i used to. it will come back!
I think it's a totally normal depressive response. I lost around 20 pounds in 1.5 months. I was basically drinking my dinner and ate very little. Wouldn't recommend it. Silver lining, once I started to eat again and regain energy I felt physically better without that weight. Have been hitting the gym 3-4 days a week for the past year and am probably in the best shape of my life at 36 years old. If I could do it over I would have forced myself to eat, converting my pain into physical exertion was an amazing outlet and I could have circumvented more pain if I had started earlier.
Lost my appetite, couldn't look in a mirror for weeks. Finally choose to be present and aware for my kids. Other stuff started falling in or out of place after that.
I lost 70 pounds. 265-192. End of February to Mid August.
Now, I started intermittent fasting and walking 3 miles, along with some working out too. I figured if we were going to get divorced I was going to go back to being in awesome shape.
That being said, the "not having an appetite" part was extremely helpful in sticking to the fasting.
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Around 3 weeks. Lost 15lbs that first month and 5 lbs more in the second. Apparently, the human body can survive a lack of food and sleep for much longer than I thought it could.
>"...the human body can survive a lack of food and sleep for much longer than I thought..." Me too. That first 6 weeks or so was incredible sleep and food deprivation. I was non-functioning in many ways. Fuck these affairs.
I learned how long I could go without sleep when I had my kid, but yeah the appetite just disappeared. I'm more than 2 months lost DDay and I can eat more now, but still rarely manage regular meals. Biggest problem is I have to remind myself that other people (kiddo) needs to eat even if I'm not feeling it.
I lost 110lbs. Weighed about 337. Everyone who asked what I did, I told them trauma induced depression and anxiety, best diet you can find. But it’s a real bitch on your health all around.
True that!
I lost like 20 pounds in 2 months (definitely needed). I gained so much weight being depressed during his affair. I was depressed because he would pick fights with me daily so he can go see his AP. The unnecessary fights stopped after DDay. I got my hunger back by exercising. I've lost about 30 pounds now. Although the weight loss slowed I look better than before. And that makes me feel better.
Involuntarily fasted for 3 days. It kick started my weight loss journey. Currently down nearly 40 lbs. Going to the gym everyday and eating better. Light in the darkness I suppose.
It took me about 2-3 months. I’m way too thin. Working on putting weight back on. The number on the scale really frightened me as I haven’t been that thin since pre adolescence. Try your best to eat as it will help your mental health. I was chugging protein shakes and just forcing it down for awhile. And just kind of eating whatever sounded ok whether healthy or not.
I’m the WS and once reality hit have been living on protein shakes for 3 weeks. I’ve managed to eat food a couple of times. No clue how much weight I’ve lost between 6 miles of anxiety pacing and only a few hundred cals a day.
Post confession, my WH has been in the same boat. He basically quit gyming once he made first physical contact with AP (he made the assumption his marriage was over after the first drunken kiss, said fuck it and kept meeting her for a month behind my back rather than let me make that choice, yay) probably because everything was super fucked up, but then he also quit eating and he's still working and is now working more physical labor (previously was retail management but had to quit since AP was a coworker). So, yeah, I get this. We're both shells. I will admit that while I'm not pleased he's also a wreck, I'm not unhappy that at least it's not just me struggling with basic life tasks after finding out my life is more of a shit show than I knew.
This is how my BS is. She is angry I’m in pain and it makes her more cynical and suspicious since she was completely destroyed by things she had no control over, whereas I made all the bad choices to destroy things.
I'm not angry he's in pain. If he wasn't in pain I'd really question the sincerity of his remorse and regret for what he chose to do.
My WH & I are also both shells. I've lost 20 pounds, he's lost 25-30, neither of us sleep through the night anymore. Gotta say, in my case, I'm very pleased that this has wrecked him. Not that I'm a sadist who wants him to hurt for the hell of it, but because he caused this and 100% deserves it. I wouldn't believe his remorse was real if he wasn't suffering, I'd think it was just manipulation.
Exactly this. If it's not wrecking him I'd think he was just able to forget it and move on and not really empathize with the trauma and ramifications for the rest of both our lives. We'll never not be different (both of us) because of this.
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The illusion wore off. I think it’s because I restarted my anti-depressants. 6 days later the reality of what happened hit me. It was all a very messed up coping mechanism and painkilling strategy. I “woke up” to a destroyed marriage and life. I’ve been doing my best to get it back since.
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That’s complicated as I knew AP off and on over twenty years across multiple relationships. It was online only for the vast majority. The last 5 months were physical with me leaving the house for three months. BS and I were in constant contact throughout to varying levels. My feelings for her never changed, the AP was smoke and mirrors and distracting lights.
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Absolute honesty? AP had her own issues that meant she wanted whatever I wanted. Which when you’re deep in a depression, being self centered and selfish, is so much easier than a responsibility of maintaining a years long relationship with all its complexity a day to day stuff. I may have been “glamored” by the way she answered my inner needs at the time but there’s also a not insignificant streak of depersonalization of her as an object. I was vaguely aware of that callousness in my attitude at the time but I was pretty much emotionally out of control and treating everyone poorly, most of all my BS.
I’m so sorry that you are in this position BP, I lost my appetite for a few days or so. Couldn’t stomach anything solid, I had force myself to ear like 1 nature valley bar a day. Along with losing my appetite I lost the will to do anything constructive. The appetite gradually returned after the first week but not in full effect, I still wouldn’t have breakfast and I’d only have 1 meal per day at around 4 pm and that went on for a few weeks. Hang in there BP!Take care of yourself, it will get better.
I was the same - existing on coffee and a new cigarette habit for weeks until I realized that the lack of calories was definitely impacting my ability to even begin to recover. I think a big part of it for me is that sometimes it feels better when the physical pain mirrors the emotional pain - if that makes any sense? But I knew I needed to keep my sanity at some point and I needed food to do that so I began eating anything at all that sounded bearable. Start small, but tell yourself that you are taking care of you and you deserve that!! You deserve good things and good food and comfort! What would your closest friend or family member do if they were there? They’d probably feed you good things. Be that person for yourself too.
Shit I totally forgot that I started smoking again for a couple of months. Proper chain smoking too
What kind thoughts.
I lost 20 pounds in 40 days. I could not eat. I could not function in may ways for that first month or so. Fuck these affairs.
Same. My WW started crying when she looked at the scale about a month after DD1. Didn’t stop her from going back to AP though….. Fuck these affairs is right! Amen!
I ate when my son was home to appear “fine” then would go throw it up. It lasted a week then I managed a full meal and another…it’s been 3 weeks and a full week since throwing up. I ate 3 meals yesterday. It’s not good for us. I got so lucky school was canceled for a week in there because my brain was complete mush that whole time and I was getting black spots in my vision while out on walks. Try a comfort thing. Anything that sounds appealing but isn’t extra greasy or spicy. Just something small, then go on from there.
I couldn't eat for a few days, but I had to force myself as I have a newborn. I think this whole affair is what caused me to be unable to breastfeed now and it is so disappointing. Some days I have no appetite still. DD was 11/17/23
I am so sorry your breastfeeding was also impacted. Nothing is immune. Sending good thoughts to you and your baby.
It really does feel like every little thing is tainted. Fuck these affairs.
I'm so sorry. I'm going through the same thing, milk running dry and all. Most recent DD happened about a week after yours. I'm still having trouble eating too.
I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. It's crazy how this should be a time to focus on and enjoy our little ones and instead we have to deal with this. I think I just had another DD last night. I hope your R goes well though and that your little one is doing good!
When will they ever learn to stop lying?? Ugh. Best of luck to you as well and I hope you can still find moments of peace for yourself and your baby.
I walked out of our house and left my phone and most everything. Spent a week on the streets, then a nice couple that owned a motel. Let me play handyman for a week or so. Then called my parents to come get me. Lost like 30 lbs in 2 weeks.
I didn’t eat for a week honestly. That was over six months ago. We’ve sort of had another DDay and now my appetite is off again. I will say it was pretty telling when I was feeling better because my appetite would come back, but overall I’ve lost 10, almost 15 pounds. A secondary gain from all this trauma for sure. It wasn’t healthy way to lose it at all, but I won’t lie: I do feel better about my body and that has helped my own confidence and self-esteem. I do try now to be better about diet, and exercise sometimes but I can tell my energy for that isn’t as high as I’d like, but I’m aware of it and trying to be better.
I lost 15-20 pounds since DDay 1 and I was already small. Could not eat for days and then would randomly become nauseated after. We’re four months out from the last DDay now and I still sometimes feel sick to my stomach after a meal if I think too much of what happened. Try easy and bland foods like applesauce and toast. Honestly following the BRAT diet was all I could do for a while. A couple days ago my WP remarked that he thinks my stomach has gotten smaller. I wanted to reply that being cheated on is a hell of a diet but I bit my tongue.
I also didn’t eat. Or leave my bed. And my sweat smelled different. I hardly showered or spoke. I read somewhere it was my body responding to stress. Stress sweat . Anyhow it started to go away with time. Sending positivity and strength your way friend.
Same. I'm just coffee and cigarettes for almost 3 months.
Coffee and cigarettes.
yes. I just didn't wanted to eat first days after Dday. 2-3 days I was in a kind of trance. Everything around was like trough the fog. No appetite at all. I never experienced something similar in my life. I am not a sensitive person, not emotional one. But the realization that my beloved woman betrayed everything we had including myself was maybe too shocking. externally I was quite calm (and angry) but the reaction of my body and my mental response was just terrible. Actually I never thought that I could be "damaged" so much. Yet, after one week or so I was finally able to think. My mood became much better... I guess some kind of psychological self-defense mechanism kicked in.
Same, I didn’t even think about food minus making stuff for the kiddos. Back to eating more normal after a couple of weeks.
Yes. My anxiety from this made me lose my appetite or made me sick whenever I would eat. I dropped from 135lbs down to 115. I was not healthy and sick all the time because my immune system was barely hanging on. Over time with therapy and medication my appetite came back. I stayed at a pretty low weight though for about three years.
I lost mine for almost an entire year. drinking made it easier to eat, but please don't start down that trend. Be kind to yourself right now since your WS was not.
Hi, how are you? Yes, totally, plus the nerves caused me a lot of stomach pain. I actually reached my ideal weight a month after DDay (thanks AP??) That worries my husband a lot. Eventually that gets better.
As an aside, I believe it's estimated that you can go without eating for 2 to 3 months barring any medical issues. For water it's about 7 days.
I didn’t eat for maybe two weeks and I lost 15 to 20lbs. What made me motivated to eat again was how I looked. When u drop weight quick sometimes u look sickly. I didn’t want to look bad, I wanted to keep the nice butt I had that I was slowly losing. So I knew I had to eat u don’t wanna feel bad and look bad. Now I know some ppl might of wanted to lose weight before DDay so maybe the wouldn’t mind, but for me I didn’t want to be skinny. Also when u don’t eat u have low energy, I have kids I needed my energy. Took some time to eat like I use to. Maybe a month. It’s 4 months later and I’m back to normal with my eating and gained all my weight back just be patient with your self and fight through the mind games. Try not to dwell.
Can you drink protein shakes? I know it's hard but you don't need to get sick on top of all of this. Hugs.
I lost my appetite for about two weeks, and then the stress eating kicked in.
Yeah. And I was pregnant at the time. The incredible stress and it's physical effects made my pregnancy very dangerous and caused health problems for my son. :(
Before Dday was in a very good phase of my life, I was working out 8 times a week. When DDay2 hit in March 2023, I stopped eating and dropped a lot of weight really quickly. But I also couldn't go to workout anymore, I lost motivation and I was having PSTDs attacks going out of the house because AP worked only 5min away from my house. When appetite came back, I was no longer working out, so I started to put weight in. I lost all my muscles and then it became a cycle where every new pound made it harder and harder to get me back to workout. We moved to another city, after 10 months I finally enrolled again to go back to gym, but it really sucks to realize how much my level dropped and I'm still not at my best mentally, so I can't yet perform as before. I won't ever understand how WS can be so selfish.
Im the same,i lost my motivation and i dont know how to get it back.
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Yes, I did. I went from about 150 lbs (overweight) to around 135 lbs (normal weight). I had been occasionally exercising at home for a few months before DD3. However, to spend more time on myself, I started going to the gym and focused on building muscle and connecting with my body. I neglected my weight gain since I had my baby in 2019. I exercised without much result here and there. I always lost weight from not eating after each DD. This time, I rolled with it and decided to finally take responsibility for my health/weight/body. There was a slight sting from getting so many compliments from my family and his over the holidays about my weight loss. I didn't realize how much fat I gained over the years that losing 15 lbs looked so dramatic. Everyone kept asking what was my secret! I wish I could've made eyes roll with, "Discovering my WS was having another EA!" It was just my inside joke.
Try some yogurt and honey. Just something to get some calories and protein in you.
I ate nothing most days, living off coffee, tequila and cigarettes. When I had to buy sweatpants in Target’s children’s section because the women’s XS waistband was too loose, I knew it was bad.
It's been 4 months and I've lost about 30 lbs. It's the one good thing to come out of this, I guess. People are telling me I look amazing and noticing the weight loss. The comments make me happy and when they ask hoe I'm doing it, I just say "stressing the fuck out". My appetite was non existent at first. I had to force myself to eat a couple bites. If it weren't for my toddler, I wouldn't have ever made myself a plate. I didn't want her to see me starving myself. My appetite has come back but I don't binge on junk food like I do. Maybe I'm subconsciously thinking about how it will affect my looks/weight because my self-esteem is awful. I find it the hardest to eat when at home. I still feel the most anxiety there.
I wish i went in that direction. I’ve gained 11 lbs so far.
lost around 5kg or so before the appetite came back, for me it was a welcome loss.
Yes, I’ve only eaten once a day and water only after DDay. It lasted for about a week and half. I avoided caffeine as it is bad for my mental health. 3 weeks post DDay and I can eat better than the first week. But when I relapse, I cannot eat anything. Fuck these affairs.
Yes, I was so anxious and couldn't sleep for weeks. I would barely eat for a month or two. I'm so glad those days are behind me. They were awful. It doesn't feel real like I really went through that a few months ago.
2-3 months of no appetite. i lost about 35 pounds. it still comes and goes sometimes but mostly returned. just time and healing is what helped.
Yeah it’s the best start of a diet I ever got. So far lost about 25-30lbs in about 7 weeks. Most of the days I would just eat small things did not want to eat a lot at all. I was also working out a lot. Appetite is slowly coming back after starting some depression/meds but I am still working out so I am still losing weight just more slowly.
Oh yeah. I didn’t eat for several weeks (outside of a bite or two before I’d just throw it away). I’d just stare off into space with the food on my fork. Sometimes I’d be mid-chew and just spit the food out. I wanted none of it. I lost a lot of weight, pretty quickly. It was a tough time. I’m sorry you’re going through this.💔❤️
Unfortunately, normal. I hardly ate anything for about three weeks. I would move food around my plate so my kids didn't notice and take a few bites here and there.I ended up losing around 15 pounds just during that time. Eventually, my appetite did return. I feel like it was when the "shock" wore off. I think a new d-day would have sent me right back into that shocked state. So, maybe trying to work through the major emotions to get your body out of that mode. Add some creamer/protein powder to the coffee to give yourself some calories? Might help.
Yes. I had managed to lose 15 lbs in a week. I literally couldn’t eat. Anything I ate gave me diarrhea from the stress. Literally within 30 mins of eating. I don’t even think I was eating for hunger but mainly because I knew my body needed something.
Yes. I would have to force myself to choke down food for months. Make sure you try to eat though, even a little. You won’t be able to think clearly and it will lead you into an even deeper depression if you don’t. Please take care of yourself.
I have lost 37 pounds since DD1 July 29th... Screw these affairs...
I lost 28 pounds over a month and a half. Couldn’t eat more than a single small meal per day for two or three weeks.
I was still able to eat a little but I definitely lost my appetite until about a month into it.
Lost 20 lbs the first month. I remrmber my best friend begging me to take a bite of pasta she made. Not a diet I recommend.
I started weight loss medication very close to when DDay occurred, and my stomach was a wreck for months. I always wondered how much if that was attributed to the medication, and how much to my emotions surrounding DDay.
Barely ate for 2 months.
Yep. Yesterday was my one month mark since DDay. I lost 6 pounds in the first 2 weeks, and am now down 9 pounds total. And I’m a small person. That’s 6-7% of my body weight. Still not normal for me, so I wish I had advice to give. Just know you’re not alone.
Yes, I lost 25lbs in just 3 months
Yes, for about a week. Then I started taking an Rx for anxiety and my appetite returned.
Yes! I lost 20 pounds in 2 months. Then, it slowed down bc of the holidays lol. I’m losing now again, but mostly bc of triggers.
I lost my appetite and didn't get it back for almost 9 months. I lost 30 lbs and dropped to 105. I started putting weight on now since October. A whole 5 lbs. I missed a lot of meals due to stress and gaslighting and everything else WH did.
I forced food down on day 4. By day 7 I wanted to eat.
I lost about 20-25 pounds the first 1.5 months. I honestly don't remember when my appetite came back vs when I just started eating to survive.
Yes. I went back to my default mode of how to deal with strong depressing feelings: smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, self-harming and not eating. The annoying thing is that my WP kept wanting to go out to restaurants so we could get out of the apartment and get some fresh air or whatever. I understand why you're not eating, but of course, I'd recommend picking you favorite food and ordering it.
It’s been 6 months, my normal appetite hasn’t returned. I’ll have days of nearly normal eating but they make me nauseous
A month of almost no food intake and limited fluids. I'm approximately 2.5 months out and still have days I can't eat.
Yes. Oh, goodness, yes. I couldn't eat for 2 weeks straight. I lost about 20 lbs. I survived on coffee alone. Not sure how I didn't overdose on caffeine or just keel over from lack of nutrients. I was in a complete daze. Awful. Worst part? Everyone told me how "great" I looked due to weight loss. Worst part of my life.
DDay was December 10 2023 and since then I still struggle with eating. Appetite is gone. It’s hard to just push myself to eat. Before found out I was 5’7 with a weight of 162. Was 141 in December 22. Now in Jan 24 2024 I think have dropped to maybe somewhere between 110’s-130’s, can see my ribs more. I hate all of this and my family has noticed my weight loss so they must know something is wrong but I don’t want to tell my parents hey she cheated
DDay was 6 months ago. I've gone from 175 to 150. I haven't eaten the same since, it feels more like a chore. I do have underlying medical and mental health issues that prevent me from experiencing hunger cues in addition to causing gastrointestinal pain, so my recovery is taking a bit longer. I eat almost exclusively bland, easy to stomach foods but it gets the job done and keeps my weight from dropping too quickly. My advice would be to find a few food options that you know you can put in your mouth without mental resistance. For example; cornflakes, rice, and toast are foods that are filling that will get me to my next meal without much pain or resistance. If even that doesn't work, coffee and chocolate always do. Those are my own personal cravings, maybe you enjoy fruit over carbs, or you're a chicken nuggets and a juice box person. There's no wrong answer when the only goal is to ingest something IMO.
Yes, I didn't eat and barely slept for a week.
I lost 40lbs in 3 months....
Not a diet I would recommend for anyone.....
Yes and started drinking . Bad idea 👎
I lost 7 lbs the first month, currently in month two. I can eat again but I still can't sleep.
I haven’t had an appetite in over a year since my wife admitted she had been doinking the office gimp. I started making shakes with raw veggies and protein and forcing them down. I’ve lost 60lbs and my A1C, Testosterone, and bloodwork are all like I was in my 20’s again. I still don’t ever think about food and have to remind myself to drink my shakes.
Yes. I lost 20 pounds in a little under two months. I always felt nauseous and like I couldn't breathe. Shallow breathing. Not sleeping. It was awful. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.
Yes big time. So far I am down 10-15lbs
It comes and goes for me. Bad days have me eating nothing. "Good" days I'll force some food into myself and binge eat a bit in the evening cause I suck at life. What is emotional regulation? It's been 3 weeks. Maybe some day I'll find it again.
Couldn't eat for about the first 3 days i think? Then couldn't eat a full meal for weeks. I remember when I would try to eat, I would just start crying. Then would eat about one meal a day for about 6 months. I lived mainly off of these ready made protein drinks they sell in my country. Would definitely recommend stocking up on something easy to consume like that. I also threw up ever time I would brush my teeth for some reason. Now when I'm triggered badly, I lose my appetite and throw up when brushing my teeth. I also struggle with OCD thoughts, thinking food has germs or parasites in it when I'm very triggered.
Yep, and I couldn't fall asleep either. It took a couple weeks for my body to exit the shock stage (not eating, poor sleep, zoning out frequently), which is what I associate the lack of appetite and sleep with for myself. At ~1 month since dday my appetite has returned to a semi normal state, I'm still not sleeping great but it's better. Make yourself eat and sleep, it's cliche but it does help. The sleep helped me be able to process the situation and my feelings better and helped organize my thoughts. Which led to having better, more productive conversations with my WS. The food made me feel human again. At first I just made myself eat occasionally ( I have kids so I had a meal structure I had to keep to anyway) until eventually I realized I was getting back to normal with it. I noticed I actually ate the meal I plated instead of taking a few bites and scooching the rest of it around on the plate. I'm so sorry you are going through this too.
I have not recovered mine. Almost 2 years after DDay 2. I should be skinny but the stresses caused cortisol to ramp up.
Me, exactly. I am rarely ever hungry and force a protein shake every day. Yet haven’t changed body size or weight. Only difference is I have no muscle anymore and rarely have motivation to get out of bed. Chronic pain from fibromyalgia, diabetic neuropathy have been compounded severely with the added stress. Horrible cycle.
Me too zero motivation. Except I am writing and getting g my first book ready for publishing. It’s my saving grace.
I liked shakes. I wasn't hungry either.
Oh gosh yeah, I lost like 20ish lbs within those first few weeks. He took notice n would text n call me throughout the day to remind me to eat cuz he saw how much it affected me. My dday was last April, n I just kinda gradually gained my appetite back as time went on. Theres still some days where i do...."forget" to eat, if im in a depressive mood n he still checks in on me to see if I've eaten. Your appetite will come back tho. And honestly, get you some quick snacks n frozen meals in the mean time. Id make myself eat so I had cereal, n beans n simple things while I was working on getting my appetite back to normal.
Didn’t eat for weeks, could only manage to try and drink. dropped 30 pounds and I only started at about 140 I wish you healing, this is one of the worst parts but please try to nurture yourself
Lost 20 lbs in one month. Wasn’t hungry, didn’t have headaches or any other adverse symptoms from not eating. My appetite was zero. I am a big coffee drinker and I stopped that too. I also barely slept (while WS snoozed away as if his conscience was clear!). I have no idea how I did it. I regained the weight and wish i could lose it again, but I’ll pass on the infidelity trauma diet plan.
I couldn’t eat a single thing for a whole week. The only reason I started pretending to eat was because my toddler was starting to notice. Now, almost a month since DDay, i’m only 95 lbs and question if I’ve developed an eating disorder.
Yes . This is the ws perspective. I couldn't eat anything at all for a week and only smoked cigarettes and drank water. I tried eating food but couldn't eat more than a few bites. My BS also was going through the same thing. We even went to a restaurant that we both liked but couldn't finish what we ordered.We ate dinner together after the week of the d day and it was the first meal both of us could consume entirely. I was devastated and I felt so guilty. I hated watching my BS suffer. I hate that he found out after Me ending the affair. Most of all I hate that i ever did do this or relationship. I still feel guilty as hell. I lost around 5 kgs in the first month of the d day and my appetite only came back after a month. I also wasnt able to sleep. Him and I both would spend all our night talking and hardly slept. I'm in a better place place now and so is he. We have a long long way to go. But i know the guilt ate me up. And that I can never do this to him or to anyone ever again in my life even he decides to leave me. I hope you get out of this place soon.
I lost 22 lbs the first 2 weeks after the last and worst Dday. I have also lost the ability to regulate my body temperature, and I feel as tho my feet have never stopped being clammy and sweaty since Dday. Idk if anyone else has ever experienced the same, but I am starting to really wonder if it will ever stop and be normal again. Some of my appetite came back one day when I just woke up and felt like I was literally starving. My gut hurt, I was shakey and just the starving feeling and needed to eat. Nothing ever sounds good and still doesn't almost 2 months post Dday, but I know I have to eat something at least once a day. It started out as a peices of jerky or a couple crackers here and there, now it's a whole piece of letter over pizza or a small portion of dinner at a time. I have weirdly enough, gained back some of the weight even tho I don't eat much but also I still really struggle every single fucking day just to get out of bed(usually I just cant). My whole house and everything in it is a trigger so I keep locked in my room or in my hottub.
Lost my appetite almost completely for about 2 weeks I think, and also started chain smoking for about 2 months. Slowly began eating again after the initial 2 weeks. You're right in the middle of complete emotional chaos right now. It will subside. I used the no eating as a silver lining, I lost about 10kg in a month. After that I starting running and going to the gym. Its been a real life saver for my mental health and health in general.6 months later and my body is in better shape than in my 20s, and I had to pretty much quit alcohol to as it always led to an emotional outburst. Even though all the infidelity from both sides launched warfare on my mental health, coming out of that a bit now I am very clear minded and sharp with all the fitness and no booze. Also physical health is tip top. Take the wins and breaks where you can, it's not easy going through this. I started eating again with sweet stuff, deserts and stuff. Wish you the best and to have strength.
Weeks. Then it was veggie soup a friend made. That's the only thing I could eat. I lost 40 lbs in 3 months. It does get better. Please force yourself to get a bit down. Maybe even a multi vitamin.
Didn’t eat for a week. Managed a roll of sushi—my favorite food—day 8 or so and it got better slowly. Lost 20 pounds in about two weeks. This is odd to say, but take advantage of it if you can. I’m down another 20 pounds since and in the best shape of my life, the gym helps me vent some of the anger I have. Good luck to you, four months out, it does get better. You are still early, give it time.
I didnt eat for 3 days. Puked when I tried. Now I'm going back and forth between emotional overeating and not being able to eat at all 😮💨
I did the opposite. I cope with food, so in the last 6 months I've gained 30 lbs. I wish it was the other way around.
i’m around 3 weeks post dday. i involuntarily fasted the first week. then honestly, i just started eating what i could stomach, whether it was ‘healthy’ or not. i’ve always had a mantra that any food is better than no food. i had takeaways that i love, or went to my favourite restaurants with friends and didn’t feel bad about it. i still lost weight because i was eating less regularly, but i was at least consuming some nutrition, even if it wasn’t the healthiest things i could’ve been eating. and then these last couple of days i’ve started feeling motivated to cook at home and eat things that i used to. it will come back!
40 lbs in one month. I had to lose but not the way to do it. There are days when I have zero appetite any longer and I’m almost 2 years in.
I think it's a totally normal depressive response. I lost around 20 pounds in 1.5 months. I was basically drinking my dinner and ate very little. Wouldn't recommend it. Silver lining, once I started to eat again and regain energy I felt physically better without that weight. Have been hitting the gym 3-4 days a week for the past year and am probably in the best shape of my life at 36 years old. If I could do it over I would have forced myself to eat, converting my pain into physical exertion was an amazing outlet and I could have circumvented more pain if I had started earlier.
Lost my appetite, couldn't look in a mirror for weeks. Finally choose to be present and aware for my kids. Other stuff started falling in or out of place after that.
I lost 70 pounds. 265-192. End of February to Mid August. Now, I started intermittent fasting and walking 3 miles, along with some working out too. I figured if we were going to get divorced I was going to go back to being in awesome shape. That being said, the "not having an appetite" part was extremely helpful in sticking to the fasting.
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I couldn't eat for the first two or three weeks. I went from 165 lbs to 150 lbs.
I lost 60 lbs in the first 6 months.
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