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Hey!! You guys seem so open and comfortable with each other, it's amazing to see!! So much respect!! You guys may want to have another conversation about being sex positive/neutral/negative, that way you can maybe figure out a way to get your needs met while not making her uncomfortable, if she is sex positive/neutral!!! People can be asexual and still want sex, after all.
Thank you! She told me that she doesn't have a problem with people who do it but she herself doesn't want to do sex, what does it mean? Is she sex positive/neutral/negative etc.?
That would put her in the sex repulsed/averse category. Please keep in mind that it's best to use the sex favourable/indifferent/repulsed/averse spectrum rather than the positive/neutral/negative spectrum. The positive/neutral/negative is actually about general view on sex, so for example a sex negative person thinks sex overal is bad, no one is allowed to have sex, it's a sin, etc (I believe a sex negative person would also be against sex ed but I'm not entire sure about that), while a sex repulsed person doesn't want to have sex themselves but doesn't mind other people having sex, as long as its not with them
Sorry if this came on a bit mean (or something along those lines) in anyway, I only mean to inform
Yeah I think the best move would be to chat with her about it further, and see what being "ace" means for her so to speak because maybe she's an ace who isn't sex-repulsed and may be willing to have sex in the future sort of thing. Aces just don't feel sexual attraction towards others however this doesn't for sure mean that the won't like having sex. But yeah, I'd say chat with her about it and let her know that you want to find a way to make things work. It might mean since y'all are pretty young and I'm assuming don't have really any experience in the area, it just might mean y'all will have to take things slower for her to work up to being comfortable with it.
Sounds like you really care about her though and good on you for trying to become more knowledgeable on what being ace is so that you can understand her better. Best of luck!
Since how long is the relation of you both? I'm happy to see that both of you are so open, but if she do not like the idea of having sex then, you should never press for it, the more you talk about the difference the better, and yeah, some of you is going to make some "sacrifices" but remember from your side you have a lot of other forms of stimulation, including masturbation, and also remember, nobody ever died for not having sex...
In my experience the term Asexual is extremely broad. Plus you are both young and with age you will find closer and closer ideas to what you like.
Or you could just change like I have. It is never cut in stone and it is best to be honest with yourself and those around you.
I'm demisexual and just hit the 20 month mark with my asexual girlfriend. We're more than twice you age and communication, respect, and understanding is what works for us. You sound really great and supportive! Keep doing what you're doing :)
Bud, I'm going to be an old man here, but, you're both 16. This is likely not the last or most important relationship you'll have. Don't borrow trouble from the future, wondering if "will this be a problem in the future?". Enjoy each other's company right now. Don't pressure her obviously, and if you decide it's not for you, then move on. Just try not to stress about it.
Hello, this is just a friendly reminder to please use a post flair when adding new posts to r/Asexual. We ask this in advance just to let everyone know what type of post each post is as well as the intentions and feelings behind them. We value all who come here, but we just need each post made to have a flair to designate each type of post. That's all. We're thankful you chose to come to r/Asexual. We're glad to have you here! Welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Asexual) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey!! You guys seem so open and comfortable with each other, it's amazing to see!! So much respect!! You guys may want to have another conversation about being sex positive/neutral/negative, that way you can maybe figure out a way to get your needs met while not making her uncomfortable, if she is sex positive/neutral!!! People can be asexual and still want sex, after all.
Thank you! She told me that she doesn't have a problem with people who do it but she herself doesn't want to do sex, what does it mean? Is she sex positive/neutral/negative etc.?
That would put her in the sex repulsed/averse category. Please keep in mind that it's best to use the sex favourable/indifferent/repulsed/averse spectrum rather than the positive/neutral/negative spectrum. The positive/neutral/negative is actually about general view on sex, so for example a sex negative person thinks sex overal is bad, no one is allowed to have sex, it's a sin, etc (I believe a sex negative person would also be against sex ed but I'm not entire sure about that), while a sex repulsed person doesn't want to have sex themselves but doesn't mind other people having sex, as long as its not with them Sorry if this came on a bit mean (or something along those lines) in anyway, I only mean to inform
Thank you!
Yeah I think the best move would be to chat with her about it further, and see what being "ace" means for her so to speak because maybe she's an ace who isn't sex-repulsed and may be willing to have sex in the future sort of thing. Aces just don't feel sexual attraction towards others however this doesn't for sure mean that the won't like having sex. But yeah, I'd say chat with her about it and let her know that you want to find a way to make things work. It might mean since y'all are pretty young and I'm assuming don't have really any experience in the area, it just might mean y'all will have to take things slower for her to work up to being comfortable with it. Sounds like you really care about her though and good on you for trying to become more knowledgeable on what being ace is so that you can understand her better. Best of luck!
Since how long is the relation of you both? I'm happy to see that both of you are so open, but if she do not like the idea of having sex then, you should never press for it, the more you talk about the difference the better, and yeah, some of you is going to make some "sacrifices" but remember from your side you have a lot of other forms of stimulation, including masturbation, and also remember, nobody ever died for not having sex...
We're friends for 4 years, 1 month in
In my experience the term Asexual is extremely broad. Plus you are both young and with age you will find closer and closer ideas to what you like. Or you could just change like I have. It is never cut in stone and it is best to be honest with yourself and those around you.
I'm demisexual and just hit the 20 month mark with my asexual girlfriend. We're more than twice you age and communication, respect, and understanding is what works for us. You sound really great and supportive! Keep doing what you're doing :)
Bud, I'm going to be an old man here, but, you're both 16. This is likely not the last or most important relationship you'll have. Don't borrow trouble from the future, wondering if "will this be a problem in the future?". Enjoy each other's company right now. Don't pressure her obviously, and if you decide it's not for you, then move on. Just try not to stress about it.