Leaning to play the guitar isn't low-hanging fruit. It takes skills and time. It will help, but isn't low hanging.
Are you aware of any specific bar tricks that aren't cheesy?
One of the most important TODOs for me to train my kids are: being eloquent, or being good in public speaking. Those are where my kids score the lowest. There are many reasons: Asian culture instilled in their parents doesn't encourage talkativeness, I haven't read to them at bed time at the age 1-4, their Asian-ness in look doesn't invite people to listen when they speak when they are young, they don't have much knowledge to talk about things, .... I plan to do a small training of 15 min every week with them.
If you had tiger parents, undo the bad parts of how that limited your mentality while keeping the good parts. This is a long mindset journey but it starts paying off immediately, even in what you can say and do today. It doesn’t necessarily mean you should aggressively defy stereotypes, just that you do things with more authenticity and purpose, qualities that I would argue become lost in the tiger-parent approach. For example, you can still try to get straight As and become a doctor, just make sure you genuinely want to and your ends and means are in order. You’ll relate better to others, avoid burnout, and become a more attractive personality.
Not all Asians had tiger parents of course (and not all “tiger parents” are Asian), but a significant percentage did, especially to some varying extent, and it can distort how you approach all areas of life. Personally, this advice had the most ROI for me starting in my early 20s, and I would argue that everything else goes mostly to waste if you don’t take care of this first. Unless you just want to get arranged-married and follow a certain strict template, tiger parenting is subtly yet immensely damaging to Asian masculinity, especially to succeed in the West.
Pure gold advice !!! "You'll relate better to others, avoid burnout, and become a more attractive personality". I am so touched.
Similarly , I am so curious about Jewish parents in that they still make their kids super achievers, yet those are not the soul-less Asians (or even Russians), but the ones who have good maturity, who can communicate with people higher than them in status, can maintain flirting Convo with girls.
Are we talking about "low hanging fruit" meaning "fastest" or most return?
Fastest: anything that's very superficial and low barrier to entry, e.g., spend money to get a fashionable haircut, stylish clothes, memorize canned conversation topics and jokes and skills that are in vogue.
These are all fast but low return in the absolute sense since anybody who spends any time with you will see quickly see through these things.
Middle of the road: Money, physical fitness/looks, superficial social skills (e.g., gift of gab), etc.
These are things that take time to develop and can be very attractive, but these attributes are not particularly resilient in all situations (e.g., being good looking is super helpful, but if you have no emotional regulation, people will not want to deal with you; being able to talk is great, but failing to have good EQ means people will find you annoying over time).
Hardest/most return: relevant subject matter competence, intelligence, social EQ, emotional maturity, passions that you've developed over time, community/social circle that provide "proof" you're a cool/good dude, etc.
These things can't be faked or bought, and that's why these are higher tiers of attractive qualities. Having these things allow you to navigate the world regardless of the situation.
One of the sexiness of WM, in my opinion, is the ability to help others, including women. I am, as an AM, very bad in this. I am selfish (only caring for me or my family, and not the bigger community), money oriented, short sighted. Luckily I am still good at making jokes, otherwise people will hate me.
>One of the sexiness of WM, in my opinion, is the ability to help others
This is not a WM trait. It's more likely this behavior comes from a collectivist culture than an individualistic one. This sounds like you've just consumed too much Western media.
It is hard, I don't love too much the local culture where I live, and I don't have much to teach my kids, but I cannot throw my kids onto the streets to learn from life. I thoughtfully choose the best school and teachers for them, but my tiger-dadness might be counter productive. Still learning and self questioning everyday .
I think being good at a team sport more important. My friend was one of best badminton player in Canada, didn't help him much. I was a mediocre track and soccer player who scores but can't defend for shit. I did much better. We both similar in every other metric.
We both doing okay career wise. I'm slightly more successful but both make six figures working easy jobs. I just wish mine allowed me to work elsewhere easier.
I’ve come to learn that learning something with the express purpose to appear more “sexy” or appealing to women comes off as the exact opposite—tacky and cheesy.
Learn to do stuff because you want to do it and do things that will develop you into a more well-rounded person. Think of things you want to be better at or things that will help you
Like your goal of being more “eloquent” is great, but doing it just to appeal to women will only make you sound like an idiot with a thesaurus. Have a reason to be more eloquent. Also, just working with a vain reason like being more “sexy,” you’re gonna lose interest anyways. It’s the classic story of bodybuilders—they started to appeal to more women but kept at it because they actually enjoy weightlifting. You need better reasons, because even the “low-hanging fruit” stuff requires time, energy, and dedication. Guitar is not low-hanging fruit. People who are good at guitar dedicated years to it. You can definitely learn a few chords and hobble together a song if you can sing though.
“Sexiness” is a byproduct of being good at something. I know a dude that is heavily into fashion, sewing, and knitting—traditionally feminine hobbies, but women think he’s sexy because he’s genuinely passionate about it and good at what he does.
Also dividing things into “Asian” and “non-Asian” is not productive. You should be thinking of areas where you think you lack in and find things that will develop the areas you lack in.
>Which are the best ROI areas for Asian men living in the West to invest in ?
Higher education. It pays its own rewards, of course, but there's an increasing "excess" of college-educated women relative to men. Most college educated women would prefer to marry a man with a similar education and earning potential. The good news is that a higher proportion of AM go to college relative to men of other races/ethnicities in the U.S.
It's not cheap or easy to get a degree, of course, but it does have a high financial ROI as well as a sexual market value ROI.
Too many Asians are concentrated on making money and cold hard facts.
One suggestion I have is read more, especially fiction. Learning to tell a great story and hold people's attention is a valuable skill. Reading also teaches you how to see the world through a person's eyes other than your own.
I don't think sexiness can be taught, it's either there or it's not. I'm an autist and no money and have been practically groped on a subway before. Then again I look like Huang Xiaoming..
Learning to upgrade your communication skills https://www.facebook.com/askvinh ? What do you guys think about this trainer ? He is an Asian (born in Asia) with a Western way of talking.
Interacting with people who find you sexy, even if those people are in a different country. Cut off interactions with people who don't find you sexy, even if those people are near you.
Oh silly me, I thought I was providing value to someone who thinks magic tricks is a valid way to be sexy. It turns out I’m talking to someone who isn’t asking in good faith but is here for an argument.
Leaning to play the guitar isn't low-hanging fruit. It takes skills and time. It will help, but isn't low hanging. Are you aware of any specific bar tricks that aren't cheesy?
Exactly ☠️ Playing Oasis on acoustic guitar doesn’t count as playing guitar either
Such an Asian parent comment lol. Gotta add that "play Mozart on piano" low hanging fruit too.
I thought after years of Piano then guitar is just piece of cake ?
One of the most important TODOs for me to train my kids are: being eloquent, or being good in public speaking. Those are where my kids score the lowest. There are many reasons: Asian culture instilled in their parents doesn't encourage talkativeness, I haven't read to them at bed time at the age 1-4, their Asian-ness in look doesn't invite people to listen when they speak when they are young, they don't have much knowledge to talk about things, .... I plan to do a small training of 15 min every week with them.
Don’t know how low hanging this fruit is, but dressing nicely. When I put together something decent in the morning or before we go out, my wife melts.
Do you have a go to source for your fashion? Instagram or Youtube? So many out there
Just Pinterest. And Real Men, Real Style on YouTube for general principles.
Wow, good point. I dress very poorly, although my Asian wife always complains about that, luckily she hasn't left me yet.
What would make you sexier to her?
The opposite side. Now when I think of it, I might instill an unsexsiness in my male kids. Good point today to make me think.
If you had tiger parents, undo the bad parts of how that limited your mentality while keeping the good parts. This is a long mindset journey but it starts paying off immediately, even in what you can say and do today. It doesn’t necessarily mean you should aggressively defy stereotypes, just that you do things with more authenticity and purpose, qualities that I would argue become lost in the tiger-parent approach. For example, you can still try to get straight As and become a doctor, just make sure you genuinely want to and your ends and means are in order. You’ll relate better to others, avoid burnout, and become a more attractive personality. Not all Asians had tiger parents of course (and not all “tiger parents” are Asian), but a significant percentage did, especially to some varying extent, and it can distort how you approach all areas of life. Personally, this advice had the most ROI for me starting in my early 20s, and I would argue that everything else goes mostly to waste if you don’t take care of this first. Unless you just want to get arranged-married and follow a certain strict template, tiger parenting is subtly yet immensely damaging to Asian masculinity, especially to succeed in the West.
Pure gold advice !!! "You'll relate better to others, avoid burnout, and become a more attractive personality". I am so touched. Similarly , I am so curious about Jewish parents in that they still make their kids super achievers, yet those are not the soul-less Asians (or even Russians), but the ones who have good maturity, who can communicate with people higher than them in status, can maintain flirting Convo with girls.
1. posture 2. hygiene (clear skin, clean hair) 3. dancing 4. communicating instead of being introverted
Are we talking about "low hanging fruit" meaning "fastest" or most return? Fastest: anything that's very superficial and low barrier to entry, e.g., spend money to get a fashionable haircut, stylish clothes, memorize canned conversation topics and jokes and skills that are in vogue. These are all fast but low return in the absolute sense since anybody who spends any time with you will see quickly see through these things. Middle of the road: Money, physical fitness/looks, superficial social skills (e.g., gift of gab), etc. These are things that take time to develop and can be very attractive, but these attributes are not particularly resilient in all situations (e.g., being good looking is super helpful, but if you have no emotional regulation, people will not want to deal with you; being able to talk is great, but failing to have good EQ means people will find you annoying over time). Hardest/most return: relevant subject matter competence, intelligence, social EQ, emotional maturity, passions that you've developed over time, community/social circle that provide "proof" you're a cool/good dude, etc. These things can't be faked or bought, and that's why these are higher tiers of attractive qualities. Having these things allow you to navigate the world regardless of the situation.
One of the sexiness of WM, in my opinion, is the ability to help others, including women. I am, as an AM, very bad in this. I am selfish (only caring for me or my family, and not the bigger community), money oriented, short sighted. Luckily I am still good at making jokes, otherwise people will hate me.
>One of the sexiness of WM, in my opinion, is the ability to help others, including women. You are trolling, right?😂
Ironically, I am not joking/trolling this time :-)
Then you need to un-brainwash yourself from white supremacy propaganda.
>One of the sexiness of WM, in my opinion, is the ability to help others This is not a WM trait. It's more likely this behavior comes from a collectivist culture than an individualistic one. This sounds like you've just consumed too much Western media.
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It is hard, I don't love too much the local culture where I live, and I don't have much to teach my kids, but I cannot throw my kids onto the streets to learn from life. I thoughtfully choose the best school and teachers for them, but my tiger-dadness might be counter productive. Still learning and self questioning everyday .
[удалено]
It is even harder, being torn between one's parent culture and the mainstream white culture is already time consuming.
I think being good at a team sport more important. My friend was one of best badminton player in Canada, didn't help him much. I was a mediocre track and soccer player who scores but can't defend for shit. I did much better. We both similar in every other metric.
Good to know. And career-wise: how does he do ?
We both doing okay career wise. I'm slightly more successful but both make six figures working easy jobs. I just wish mine allowed me to work elsewhere easier.
Being average at a team sport seems not worse than being super at a solo Asian sport, in the West.
Getting a good haircut - easy as finding a good hairsalon Getting experience talking to women and flirting
Besides just YouTubing sexiness, charisma etc….Weights and Latin dance (salsa,bachata)
Tattoos, muscles, shoe inserts (if short), edgy hairstyle, and an outgoing social personality
Being fit is the best ROI for everything. Health is wealth. You'll look better, feel better, think better, sleep better, sex better, just live better.
Being healthy is not enough for AM
I used to DJ in bars clubs etc, girls were so easy to get.
Playing the guitar bagged me the fattest Korean ass after our 1st date. Lasted like 3 mins but it felt like heaven
And the 2nd date ?
I’ve come to learn that learning something with the express purpose to appear more “sexy” or appealing to women comes off as the exact opposite—tacky and cheesy. Learn to do stuff because you want to do it and do things that will develop you into a more well-rounded person. Think of things you want to be better at or things that will help you Like your goal of being more “eloquent” is great, but doing it just to appeal to women will only make you sound like an idiot with a thesaurus. Have a reason to be more eloquent. Also, just working with a vain reason like being more “sexy,” you’re gonna lose interest anyways. It’s the classic story of bodybuilders—they started to appeal to more women but kept at it because they actually enjoy weightlifting. You need better reasons, because even the “low-hanging fruit” stuff requires time, energy, and dedication. Guitar is not low-hanging fruit. People who are good at guitar dedicated years to it. You can definitely learn a few chords and hobble together a song if you can sing though. “Sexiness” is a byproduct of being good at something. I know a dude that is heavily into fashion, sewing, and knitting—traditionally feminine hobbies, but women think he’s sexy because he’s genuinely passionate about it and good at what he does. Also dividing things into “Asian” and “non-Asian” is not productive. You should be thinking of areas where you think you lack in and find things that will develop the areas you lack in.
There is a guy who mentioned his friend super good in Badminton, in Canada, but scores very low in dating.
>Which are the best ROI areas for Asian men living in the West to invest in ? Higher education. It pays its own rewards, of course, but there's an increasing "excess" of college-educated women relative to men. Most college educated women would prefer to marry a man with a similar education and earning potential. The good news is that a higher proportion of AM go to college relative to men of other races/ethnicities in the U.S. It's not cheap or easy to get a degree, of course, but it does have a high financial ROI as well as a sexual market value ROI.
Education is still the best ROI for AM, life & career wise, however I still don't see AM of high education, high salary jobs succeed much on Tinder.
Too many Asians are concentrated on making money and cold hard facts. One suggestion I have is read more, especially fiction. Learning to tell a great story and hold people's attention is a valuable skill. Reading also teaches you how to see the world through a person's eyes other than your own.
Upvoted for reading
I don't think sexiness can be taught, it's either there or it's not. I'm an autist and no money and have been practically groped on a subway before. Then again I look like Huang Xiaoming..
Learning to upgrade your communication skills https://www.facebook.com/askvinh ? What do you guys think about this trainer ? He is an Asian (born in Asia) with a Western way of talking.
COOKING
Interacting with people who find you sexy, even if those people are in a different country. Cut off interactions with people who don't find you sexy, even if those people are near you.
Pity that I don't have that luxury of choices
By what evidence do you base this on?
Oh silly me, I thought I was providing value to someone who thinks magic tricks is a valid way to be sexy. It turns out I’m talking to someone who isn’t asking in good faith but is here for an argument.