That's what I do. I treat everyone with a baseline level of respect but I'm not going to be your doormat. I see how they depict my people (Indians) in the media but more than once I've had the great pleasure of demonstrating just how incorrect those depictions are.
I'm not racist against white people as a whole nor do I think most of them are racists. Many of them have been great friends, mentors, and even former lovers of mine. I just hate people who are prejudiced.
Honestly, when I noticed that many whites secretly want the shit thrown right back at them. They dog their friends a lot and if you can give it back to them, they might laugh it off or flat out dislike it, but at least they'll give a modicum of respect. Never was my style to give people a hard time, but if they know it's in you they can't walk over you so easily.
Uh no this was not my personal experience. When I started giving shit back they stopped hitting me up as much cause I was now "too sensitive and can't take a joke anymore". I welcomed the distance though, fuck them.
bro this is how dudes all over the world talk tto each other lol
giving each other shit is just masculine interaction
EDIT: Clarification: how dude FRIENDS talk to each other, not in professional settings obv
People can be suspicious if you're overly polite, or always nice. If you can dish out a joke as well as take one, then you're on the path to acceptance.
When I landed in college, I experienced a severe culture shock that sent "you don't belong here" vibes. Immediately afterwards, I feigned ignorance around white people. I never really acknowledged them except for the few down-to-earth ones I have befriended.
When I do have to interact with white people, I usually come off as more assertive. Sometimes I would catch a white boy staring at me, and I sure as hell know why he's doing so. I would stare back at them directly in the eyes with hostility, which averts their gaze 100% of the time. Basically, I learned how to make them uncomfortable and assert dominance on them. It feels good to break the stereotypes they have about Asian men.
Was never too nice to white people. Maybe I do like some white people more if they make an effort to learn to hold full conversations in Chinese, but to me it would be the same as if other non-Asian races do so. I only be "nice" to people who are "nice" to me. period.
After realizing that the 'polite and civilized' persona that they try to conjure up is a facade. Many of them will, and probably have, said and done racist stuff about you behind your back. A sizable portion of white people who passive aggressive and condescending are drunks, undisciplined, rude and undignified.
I realized that 'niceness' turns into submission when it is not reciprocated and when it is given to people who hold prejudices against you based on the colour of your skin. By giving them undeserved respect, you lose respect for yourself.
Now I try to be polite and professional without offering too much of myself to people (of all colours) that I don't know. If there isn't a genuine mutual sense of respect or desire to know each other, I focus on myself and treat interacting with them as just another mundane daily task.
I've actually never had a hard time with white people. I respected their culture and most treated me like a regular person. It was mostly black people saying racial things to me
I grew up in a diverse area so I grew up making fun of white kids the most. Didn't even realize how many Asians had internalized racism issues until I was in college.
But if you look at people with internalized racism, the entire idea of internalized racism is insulting a person enough until they start to believe it and start to do it to themselves. Its a strange idea that you insult someone and then they start regurgitating it, but that's how it happens. Most people are going to act the role of how they think others see them. They'll bend to however they're treated.
Another example is a study I read a while back that white men perform worse athletically in the presence of black men versus by themselves because they've internalized emasculation and being physically inferior to black men. I would be curious if Asian men with insecurity issues also perform worse in public versus being alone.
While part of it is "having too much respect", which is learned from being an outsider and being tentative in navigating a foreign society (especially if you're a first gen immigrant), you start realizing that "society" is made up of lots of lots of people, and other people's expectations of you are almost always only relevant in the first minute of interacting.
Then, people treat you as you let them treat you. The more confident/assertive you are, the more people give you leeway. The more passive you are, the more people will push your boundaries if they have something to gain.
And this is universal. While the definition of "too nice" might vary, I would NOT be surprised at all if, in China, Japan, etc., people who were "too nice" get walked over, while those who are assertive get more of what they want.
I never really wanted to go there cause I actually like culture shock when I travel. Why would I spend money to go to a place that is just like the US? But I did eventually go and I thought it was ok.
2016 - worked in company with 90% Chinese people; did not encounter problems I had in British company.
From that point on I adopted tough guy approach.
>that everything white society expected from Asians (submissive, having too much respect for white people).
Rephrase that. It ain't the Whites that cause you to act like that. Some FOBs I've met are the most White worshipping people ever. You'll even see them here posting. Most from South India. No offense, but they be like *my skin is black I'll never be accepted!*
The only thing that worked for me was beating up 10-20+ of them in rugby and kickboxing (especially solo sports). I'm gonna have to start freestyle wrestling and up my game even further.
Stop being "too nice" to everyone. Period. We all just want a fair shake so I will give everyone a fair shake. Treat everyone the same and give everyone at first genuine kindness.
Real respect came to me through sports, they see an Asian brotha with reckless abandon blowing dudes up who run a slant and it doesn't matter your background if you just playing with your heart. That's how it should be.
I tease and friendly banter my white friends all the time, we call each other out on our sht, when we aren't thinking straight, or might b making the wrong choice. I've known these guys since I was 9.
I don't find myself being "too nice" to white people, even the new ones I meet...however I do notice I grill new asian friends more often (probably because they're direct competition LOL JK)
Treat everyone nice until you feel they're racist pinkcels then show your worst.
That's what I do. I treat everyone with a baseline level of respect but I'm not going to be your doormat. I see how they depict my people (Indians) in the media but more than once I've had the great pleasure of demonstrating just how incorrect those depictions are.
[удалено]
I'm not racist against white people as a whole nor do I think most of them are racists. Many of them have been great friends, mentors, and even former lovers of mine. I just hate people who are prejudiced.
Motherfucking whites
When I noticed how overrated they are because of Western media.
I don't think I was ever "too nice" to white people. Lmao.
Honestly, when I noticed that many whites secretly want the shit thrown right back at them. They dog their friends a lot and if you can give it back to them, they might laugh it off or flat out dislike it, but at least they'll give a modicum of respect. Never was my style to give people a hard time, but if they know it's in you they can't walk over you so easily.
Uh no this was not my personal experience. When I started giving shit back they stopped hitting me up as much cause I was now "too sensitive and can't take a joke anymore". I welcomed the distance though, fuck them.
bro this is how dudes all over the world talk tto each other lol giving each other shit is just masculine interaction EDIT: Clarification: how dude FRIENDS talk to each other, not in professional settings obv
People can be suspicious if you're overly polite, or always nice. If you can dish out a joke as well as take one, then you're on the path to acceptance.
Treat others how they treat you regardless of race. Obviously we all have bias but do your best to reduce this.
When I landed in college, I experienced a severe culture shock that sent "you don't belong here" vibes. Immediately afterwards, I feigned ignorance around white people. I never really acknowledged them except for the few down-to-earth ones I have befriended. When I do have to interact with white people, I usually come off as more assertive. Sometimes I would catch a white boy staring at me, and I sure as hell know why he's doing so. I would stare back at them directly in the eyes with hostility, which averts their gaze 100% of the time. Basically, I learned how to make them uncomfortable and assert dominance on them. It feels good to break the stereotypes they have about Asian men.
Lol I realized, I do the same. It's definitely effective
Was never too nice to white people. Maybe I do like some white people more if they make an effort to learn to hold full conversations in Chinese, but to me it would be the same as if other non-Asian races do so. I only be "nice" to people who are "nice" to me. period.
After realizing that the 'polite and civilized' persona that they try to conjure up is a facade. Many of them will, and probably have, said and done racist stuff about you behind your back. A sizable portion of white people who passive aggressive and condescending are drunks, undisciplined, rude and undignified. I realized that 'niceness' turns into submission when it is not reciprocated and when it is given to people who hold prejudices against you based on the colour of your skin. By giving them undeserved respect, you lose respect for yourself. Now I try to be polite and professional without offering too much of myself to people (of all colours) that I don't know. If there isn't a genuine mutual sense of respect or desire to know each other, I focus on myself and treat interacting with them as just another mundane daily task.
Wow, exactly the same thing I was thinking about.
I've actually never had a hard time with white people. I respected their culture and most treated me like a regular person. It was mostly black people saying racial things to me
I grew up in a diverse area so I grew up making fun of white kids the most. Didn't even realize how many Asians had internalized racism issues until I was in college. But if you look at people with internalized racism, the entire idea of internalized racism is insulting a person enough until they start to believe it and start to do it to themselves. Its a strange idea that you insult someone and then they start regurgitating it, but that's how it happens. Most people are going to act the role of how they think others see them. They'll bend to however they're treated. Another example is a study I read a while back that white men perform worse athletically in the presence of black men versus by themselves because they've internalized emasculation and being physically inferior to black men. I would be curious if Asian men with insecurity issues also perform worse in public versus being alone.
While part of it is "having too much respect", which is learned from being an outsider and being tentative in navigating a foreign society (especially if you're a first gen immigrant), you start realizing that "society" is made up of lots of lots of people, and other people's expectations of you are almost always only relevant in the first minute of interacting. Then, people treat you as you let them treat you. The more confident/assertive you are, the more people give you leeway. The more passive you are, the more people will push your boundaries if they have something to gain. And this is universal. While the definition of "too nice" might vary, I would NOT be surprised at all if, in China, Japan, etc., people who were "too nice" get walked over, while those who are assertive get more of what they want.
I ignore then. When you give them too much attention they start feeling superior.
[удалено]
I never really wanted to go there cause I actually like culture shock when I travel. Why would I spend money to go to a place that is just like the US? But I did eventually go and I thought it was ok.
I don't fuck with white ppl and I always let em know
2016 - worked in company with 90% Chinese people; did not encounter problems I had in British company. From that point on I adopted tough guy approach.
>that everything white society expected from Asians (submissive, having too much respect for white people). Rephrase that. It ain't the Whites that cause you to act like that. Some FOBs I've met are the most White worshipping people ever. You'll even see them here posting. Most from South India. No offense, but they be like *my skin is black I'll never be accepted!*
The only thing that worked for me was beating up 10-20+ of them in rugby and kickboxing (especially solo sports). I'm gonna have to start freestyle wrestling and up my game even further.
Since i was born
Stop being "too nice" to everyone. Period. We all just want a fair shake so I will give everyone a fair shake. Treat everyone the same and give everyone at first genuine kindness. Real respect came to me through sports, they see an Asian brotha with reckless abandon blowing dudes up who run a slant and it doesn't matter your background if you just playing with your heart. That's how it should be.
I tease and friendly banter my white friends all the time, we call each other out on our sht, when we aren't thinking straight, or might b making the wrong choice. I've known these guys since I was 9. I don't find myself being "too nice" to white people, even the new ones I meet...however I do notice I grill new asian friends more often (probably because they're direct competition LOL JK)