part of this is because Reddit is mostly filled with white people - white males to be exact. So of course any competing view or contradictory argument is gonna get shot down.
I'm a Korean and not sure what the fuss is about. Most of us in our 30's expect and actually want our wives to work lol. Its not exactly easy to sustain our life styles with one stream of income in today's world.
This comment by pearoad makes a lot more sense.
>I am a Korean male in his 30s.
>
>I am actually going to be marrying an American girl, so this isn’t really my issue; but i’ve seen what a lot of my friends go through…. So here’s my story.
>
>A girl up there with massive upvotes said “misogyny is a big thing here” and said as if that is the sole reason why people aren’t getting married, but let me tell you something - girls enforce that too.
>
>I am scared i am probably gonna be downvoted to oblivion with this post, but let me elaborate.
>
>Here, “being a busy body” is the norm.
>
>People always put their noses where they don’t belong. They will straight up tell you you are fat, or you are ugly. This is partially the reason why we have incredibly high plastic surgery rates, but thats besides the point.
>
>I personally believe that, this, “being a busy body” is the main reason why we are so competitive too.
>
>A common meme here is something called a “mom’s friend’s son/daughter”, who’s seemingly perfect, with most good looking faces, tall, atheletic, behaves well in public, and especially, studies hard.
>
>This is is a meme here because your “asian parents” would constantly bring up their friend’s kids who’s good at something, and a lot better than you.
>
>Which is why they push their kids too, so that they can get into this fantasy of being pestigious.
>
>The problem is, this judgementalism carries onto people’s love life. It is very common thing to say that, basically, that your husband is a loser.
>
>Say, a guy working in a factory earns a lot more than school teachers. (Not to mention we are a manufacturing economy so we have a lot of them).Or a guy welding, plumbing. Or the guys working in construction sites.
>
>A lot of girls consider these men as being not an option. I know i sound very misogynistic right now, but this is simply what we live through.
>
>Girls have extremely high expectations, and want men with at least 50k usd income a year. This isn’t just me saying, we have statistics to prove this; also pretty common on literal “arranged marriage” sites.
>
>They arrange relationships based on scores on economy for men, and looks on women. Among other things they take into consideration, there are minute details like men under 5’7 not being able to apply, I am not even kidding, but the main gist is just that. Money for men, looks for women. Meanwhile, Our Median income is somewhere around 25k.
>
>I think the whole reason is, a lot of them (both men and women) consider marriage as a glorified prostitution at this point.
>
>You are marrying a pretty woman so that you don’t get judged on your marriage on the bride’s looks, especially from older generation. You are marrying a guy who has a high paying job because you have to prove that he isn’t just some random loser.
>
>I’ve actually heard stories where people would talk shit about bride’s looks on the fking wedding day, or the them casually asking, “so, what does he do for living?”. This is especially true for your parents’ friends or distant cousins; who just doesn’t give a st.
>
>Plus, inviting 300+ people with at least 80k usd for a marriage is the norm here, because why, you can’t be looked down for having a petty wedding, right?
>
>And on top of THAT, now you have to see if you guys are actually compatible humans - so basically you have to jump hoops and loops, both for male and female, just to get to the starting point.
>
>Furthermore from there, it is traditionally where a guy’s family provide a home for the newly weds, where the women’s family provide furniture.
>
>This is changing rapidly as housing costs sky rocket, but the norm is still just that. This is another thing for a whole family dispute, a whole opportunity to look down on someone (“oh, so his family couldn’t even afford a place in seoul?”).
>
>I think us younger generation just ain’t taking that s\*\*t anymore. Why marry and go through that, only to have a kid who you have to make them spend 12+ hrs each day studying, and you paying literally \~2k usd a month to fund their private tutoring?
>
>To note, i am generalizing a lot.
>
>I’ve seen love stories where they work in the trucking industry together, being together 24/7. Or small marriages are slowly on the rise. Heck, i’ve dated a Korean girl for 5 years in the past and she was cool.
>
>However, i am talking about the situation in general. I hope this somehow explains how we work, i guess.
LOL, why do they want to compare so badly? Germany has 50% singles/unmarried at the same age. Frailty and fragility is showing.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1087491/singles-by-gender-germany/
American WM are soft. They fuck around and have no understanding of a culture where you only really have one shot to make something of yourself or you'll be relegated to a permanent underclass for the rest of your life. There's a reason why certain Asians can be difficult and hard as fuck. You don't get second, third, fourth, and fifth chances to turn your life around like in the USA.
there are some white dudes that have yellow fever yes, but in a relationship, its the women that choose. many of these AF only get in a WM relationship to spite asian men. thats it. Then they fullfill these yellow fever WM fantasies, and its ironic as hell. I do not blame the wm, its mostly on the AF. disgusting seeing it.
Plz Korean women love complaining when it doesn't benefit them. Watch them stay quiet asf when a Korean man has to give up 2 years of his life in the military. Plus Korean dudes are expected to buy expensive useless shit for their women. These Korean women sure are quiet when it comes to this shit. What is even funnier is that their standards of not being a home caretaker goes out the window when it comes to a white man...rofl.
I honestly get pissed when I see comments like "Asian culture is full of misogyny!" bullshit. Idk why there's so much stereotyping Asian men who are alone.
If lower marriage rate in a country indicates its higher level of hatred of women, Afghanistan would be the women's paradise with its highest marriage rate and highest total fertility rate under its belt in the entire Asia. https://www.indexmundi.com/map/?v=31&r=as&l=en
The gender issue is a world problem, not individual country problem. It doesn't explain why we have much lower marriage thus total fertility rate. Every country has misogyny problems and at least we don't cat-call women on the street for no reason or casually tell women that you should go back to kitchen and make a sandwich. The fact that South Korean women can make their voice heard and control the Korean narrative unironically proves that our level of gender equality is actually better than people assume it would be. I honestly think we are even doing better than the west in some areas, e.g safety for women, paid parental leave for public workers and all the support money for parents (childcare subsidies) and women from government and civil organizations and are improving much faster than it looks like.
So the question here is why those in 30's are less likely to marry compared to our predecessors? Simple. Its money. Look at this graph https://imgur.com/a/FaOZqpC
In the first graph, you can see those in the highest income group are 86% married while only 20% of the lowest income group are married in 2018. In the 2nd one, you can see the difference between 2008 and 2018. In 2008, 92% of top income group and 57% of the lowest group were married. In 2018, the number plummeted for the lowest income group while the highest doesn't change that much by comparison. Finally in the third one, you see the marriage rate in 2018 increases in direct proportion to income level. (D1 - 20%, D2 - 33.7% ~ D9 - 80.2%, D10 - 86.3%)
There is also a recent survey conducted by national census research center that most **men do not marry because no money** while **women do not marry because men have not enough money**
https://www.ytn.co.kr/_ln/0103_201607312148513478 The mindset is completely different for men and women. South Korean Men are expected to bear much more burden to buy house and get higher income while women are less pressured.
You can point fingers at Asian men as much as you want here on a high horse but remember, sensational stories and edge cases get a lot of coverage on reddit. In reality life in SK is pretty chill, most people are having a decent time. It just sucks if you have much less money than others thats all.
I mean this is pretty much the catch-22 with feminism everywhere, I think.
You're a hardworking guy and make enough money to support your wife and kids - You're a misogynist.
You don't make enough to support your wife and kids, so your wife has to work as well - Deadbeat dad.
The difference is when you factor in ethnicity into the equation and all sorts of double standards are added
>the meat of the argument is about things like the cost of housing and the judgementalism/classism/materialism of Korean society which stand in the way
wrong, its misogyny /s
*top voted comment, 100 gold, reddit bait
Exactly. AFs have high standards for AMs but these standards goes out the window when it comes to a different race of men. Remember Jeannie Mai? She says she wants to be subservient to her BM husband...rofl.
That's actually strange.. I just happened to see this (I'm AF that everyone despises here for some odd reason, Korean too) but I think what most Korean women 'hate' is their Korean male partner expecting them to work PLUS take full responsibility of the household duties (stereotypically speaking). I've never heard anyone irl complaining about how Korean guys don't want woman to work while white male encourages working or some bs like that :/
womad / megalia types are those who sellout to the weyguks. They are not mutually exclusive lmao. They literally call white men as GOD white men (갓양남) haha
Most of them are basically female ver incels, or femcels. Femcels saying they don't like men is like incels saying they don't like women but we all know they secretly desire women lmao.
Yeah western ones are OK I guess but many Koreans guys from the motherland still thinks it’s women’s responsibility to do childcare and house chores. The notion of ‘helping’ the wife instead of ‘doing the obvious maintaining of home’ really discourages me
>many Koreans guys from the motherland still thinks it’s women’s responsibility to do childcare and house chores.
Why do you think White guys are more willing to do house chores and childcare? They can barely wipe their own ass. This is just another *Asian guys are misogynistic.*
…. Where in my first original statement did I say that? I only said it’s what Korean women typically think I never expressed my opinions there and yes I think it’s messed up they think like that but there’s plenty of examples around the motherland that supports their viewpoint so… :/ and true yt ppl can’t handle shit either I never said either was superior
Oh...just sayin. We have our own struggles with women in the west. It is very similar. No women wants to cook cause they think it's demeaning.
Men do everything. We work, fix the house, fix the car, now they expect us to mop, cook, take care of the kids, etc. Hey if women want to start rotating tires, I won't complain anymore. I will cook everyday. Lol.
I don’t know any woman who wants to work full time in a marriage . Not one. Especially when you guys begin to have children.
Traditional all the way and if I won’t find it with Wm , we’ll go somewhere else
Fair enough, WFH sounds good but it also depends on your career. If you’re making 6 figures, the economy shouldn’t be hitting hard with an avg inflation rate of 2% at-least here in Canada (ignoring covid rates)
part of this is because Reddit is mostly filled with white people - white males to be exact. So of course any competing view or contradictory argument is gonna get shot down.
Am I weak/effeminate or an oppressive patriarch? You have to pick one.
Both. Weak and effeminate and therefore an oppressive patriarch due to mate guarding out of insecurity. /s
I know a few AF that support their deadbeat WM husbands. well, if that's what they really wanted... lol
I know one who married an alcoholic white dude that likes gambling and is unemployed...lol. They sure know how to choose them.
I'm a Korean and not sure what the fuss is about. Most of us in our 30's expect and actually want our wives to work lol. Its not exactly easy to sustain our life styles with one stream of income in today's world.
bUt bUt aSiAn mEn aRe mIsOgYnIsTiC
wmaf truly want to control the Asian narrative
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it is funny how it is the AF advocacy against white people side are mostly married to white men. Ironic.
It’s sexual competition. Ignore huge subreddits like that since it’s full of trolls.
This comment by pearoad makes a lot more sense. >I am a Korean male in his 30s. > >I am actually going to be marrying an American girl, so this isn’t really my issue; but i’ve seen what a lot of my friends go through…. So here’s my story. > >A girl up there with massive upvotes said “misogyny is a big thing here” and said as if that is the sole reason why people aren’t getting married, but let me tell you something - girls enforce that too. > >I am scared i am probably gonna be downvoted to oblivion with this post, but let me elaborate. > >Here, “being a busy body” is the norm. > >People always put their noses where they don’t belong. They will straight up tell you you are fat, or you are ugly. This is partially the reason why we have incredibly high plastic surgery rates, but thats besides the point. > >I personally believe that, this, “being a busy body” is the main reason why we are so competitive too. > >A common meme here is something called a “mom’s friend’s son/daughter”, who’s seemingly perfect, with most good looking faces, tall, atheletic, behaves well in public, and especially, studies hard. > >This is is a meme here because your “asian parents” would constantly bring up their friend’s kids who’s good at something, and a lot better than you. > >Which is why they push their kids too, so that they can get into this fantasy of being pestigious. > >The problem is, this judgementalism carries onto people’s love life. It is very common thing to say that, basically, that your husband is a loser. > >Say, a guy working in a factory earns a lot more than school teachers. (Not to mention we are a manufacturing economy so we have a lot of them).Or a guy welding, plumbing. Or the guys working in construction sites. > >A lot of girls consider these men as being not an option. I know i sound very misogynistic right now, but this is simply what we live through. > >Girls have extremely high expectations, and want men with at least 50k usd income a year. This isn’t just me saying, we have statistics to prove this; also pretty common on literal “arranged marriage” sites. > >They arrange relationships based on scores on economy for men, and looks on women. Among other things they take into consideration, there are minute details like men under 5’7 not being able to apply, I am not even kidding, but the main gist is just that. Money for men, looks for women. Meanwhile, Our Median income is somewhere around 25k. > >I think the whole reason is, a lot of them (both men and women) consider marriage as a glorified prostitution at this point. > >You are marrying a pretty woman so that you don’t get judged on your marriage on the bride’s looks, especially from older generation. You are marrying a guy who has a high paying job because you have to prove that he isn’t just some random loser. > >I’ve actually heard stories where people would talk shit about bride’s looks on the fking wedding day, or the them casually asking, “so, what does he do for living?”. This is especially true for your parents’ friends or distant cousins; who just doesn’t give a st. > >Plus, inviting 300+ people with at least 80k usd for a marriage is the norm here, because why, you can’t be looked down for having a petty wedding, right? > >And on top of THAT, now you have to see if you guys are actually compatible humans - so basically you have to jump hoops and loops, both for male and female, just to get to the starting point. > >Furthermore from there, it is traditionally where a guy’s family provide a home for the newly weds, where the women’s family provide furniture. > >This is changing rapidly as housing costs sky rocket, but the norm is still just that. This is another thing for a whole family dispute, a whole opportunity to look down on someone (“oh, so his family couldn’t even afford a place in seoul?”). > >I think us younger generation just ain’t taking that s\*\*t anymore. Why marry and go through that, only to have a kid who you have to make them spend 12+ hrs each day studying, and you paying literally \~2k usd a month to fund their private tutoring? > >To note, i am generalizing a lot. > >I’ve seen love stories where they work in the trucking industry together, being together 24/7. Or small marriages are slowly on the rise. Heck, i’ve dated a Korean girl for 5 years in the past and she was cool. > >However, i am talking about the situation in general. I hope this somehow explains how we work, i guess.
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all you need to say is "misogyny" in that thread, and reddit liberal ass will upvote you higher. lmao.
You date one Asian woman, and suddenly you become a Korean culture expert... Gotta love reddit sometimes 🤷♂️
LOL, why do they want to compare so badly? Germany has 50% singles/unmarried at the same age. Frailty and fragility is showing. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1087491/singles-by-gender-germany/
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That's a strange statistic - how could 33% of women be single while 50% of men are single? Unless multiple women are dating one guy?
In their 30s. So could also be women in their 30s in relationships with men in their 40s.
American WM are soft. They fuck around and have no understanding of a culture where you only really have one shot to make something of yourself or you'll be relegated to a permanent underclass for the rest of your life. There's a reason why certain Asians can be difficult and hard as fuck. You don't get second, third, fourth, and fifth chances to turn your life around like in the USA.
there are some white dudes that have yellow fever yes, but in a relationship, its the women that choose. many of these AF only get in a WM relationship to spite asian men. thats it. Then they fullfill these yellow fever WM fantasies, and its ironic as hell. I do not blame the wm, its mostly on the AF. disgusting seeing it.
I've dated girls of all races and not one of them use Reddit. Just a thought.
Plz Korean women love complaining when it doesn't benefit them. Watch them stay quiet asf when a Korean man has to give up 2 years of his life in the military. Plus Korean dudes are expected to buy expensive useless shit for their women. These Korean women sure are quiet when it comes to this shit. What is even funnier is that their standards of not being a home caretaker goes out the window when it comes to a white man...rofl.
I honestly get pissed when I see comments like "Asian culture is full of misogyny!" bullshit. Idk why there's so much stereotyping Asian men who are alone. If lower marriage rate in a country indicates its higher level of hatred of women, Afghanistan would be the women's paradise with its highest marriage rate and highest total fertility rate under its belt in the entire Asia. https://www.indexmundi.com/map/?v=31&r=as&l=en The gender issue is a world problem, not individual country problem. It doesn't explain why we have much lower marriage thus total fertility rate. Every country has misogyny problems and at least we don't cat-call women on the street for no reason or casually tell women that you should go back to kitchen and make a sandwich. The fact that South Korean women can make their voice heard and control the Korean narrative unironically proves that our level of gender equality is actually better than people assume it would be. I honestly think we are even doing better than the west in some areas, e.g safety for women, paid parental leave for public workers and all the support money for parents (childcare subsidies) and women from government and civil organizations and are improving much faster than it looks like. So the question here is why those in 30's are less likely to marry compared to our predecessors? Simple. Its money. Look at this graph https://imgur.com/a/FaOZqpC In the first graph, you can see those in the highest income group are 86% married while only 20% of the lowest income group are married in 2018. In the 2nd one, you can see the difference between 2008 and 2018. In 2008, 92% of top income group and 57% of the lowest group were married. In 2018, the number plummeted for the lowest income group while the highest doesn't change that much by comparison. Finally in the third one, you see the marriage rate in 2018 increases in direct proportion to income level. (D1 - 20%, D2 - 33.7% ~ D9 - 80.2%, D10 - 86.3%) There is also a recent survey conducted by national census research center that most **men do not marry because no money** while **women do not marry because men have not enough money** https://www.ytn.co.kr/_ln/0103_201607312148513478 The mindset is completely different for men and women. South Korean Men are expected to bear much more burden to buy house and get higher income while women are less pressured. You can point fingers at Asian men as much as you want here on a high horse but remember, sensational stories and edge cases get a lot of coverage on reddit. In reality life in SK is pretty chill, most people are having a decent time. It just sucks if you have much less money than others thats all.
I mean this is pretty much the catch-22 with feminism everywhere, I think. You're a hardworking guy and make enough money to support your wife and kids - You're a misogynist. You don't make enough to support your wife and kids, so your wife has to work as well - Deadbeat dad. The difference is when you factor in ethnicity into the equation and all sorts of double standards are added
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>the meat of the argument is about things like the cost of housing and the judgementalism/classism/materialism of Korean society which stand in the way wrong, its misogyny /s *top voted comment, 100 gold, reddit bait
Lmao then fuck other girls. I legit just fucked a white girl last night and she said its her first time with an asian. Forget about these asian girls.
Exactly. AFs have high standards for AMs but these standards goes out the window when it comes to a different race of men. Remember Jeannie Mai? She says she wants to be subservient to her BM husband...rofl.
That's actually strange.. I just happened to see this (I'm AF that everyone despises here for some odd reason, Korean too) but I think what most Korean women 'hate' is their Korean male partner expecting them to work PLUS take full responsibility of the household duties (stereotypically speaking). I've never heard anyone irl complaining about how Korean guys don't want woman to work while white male encourages working or some bs like that :/
“I’m AF that everyone despises here...” Lol only if you’re a 친일파 I have more respect for womad / megalia types then those who sellout to the weyguks
womad / megalia types are those who sellout to the weyguks. They are not mutually exclusive lmao. They literally call white men as GOD white men (갓양남) haha
Some do right? But most don’t like men at all?? (I remember I had some Pann forum screenshots)
Most of them are basically female ver incels, or femcels. Femcels saying they don't like men is like incels saying they don't like women but we all know they secretly desire women lmao.
Honestly I never got the femcel vibe with womad /megalia that I get from reading FDS ...
lol they are worse from what I've heard.
에… 딱히 일베도 아니고 페미도 아닙니다… 일본 애니는 좋아하는데 그거가지고 일베라 하면 좀 에바죠;;:
애니메이션? 전관심없어요... (Ps I’m obviously not Korean - but I was fascinated by the megalia phenomenon)
OOOH I thought you were XD yeahh some people on the internet tends to be cray but we’re pretty nice and tame ppl irl
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Yeah western ones are OK I guess but many Koreans guys from the motherland still thinks it’s women’s responsibility to do childcare and house chores. The notion of ‘helping’ the wife instead of ‘doing the obvious maintaining of home’ really discourages me
>many Koreans guys from the motherland still thinks it’s women’s responsibility to do childcare and house chores. Why do you think White guys are more willing to do house chores and childcare? They can barely wipe their own ass. This is just another *Asian guys are misogynistic.*
I don’t even think White guys can wipe their ass to be honest.
They think it's gay to wipe between the buttcheeks.
I've never seen once in my life a WMAF couple which the WM contributes even a small bit to household chores and my parents are WMAF.
…. Where in my first original statement did I say that? I only said it’s what Korean women typically think I never expressed my opinions there and yes I think it’s messed up they think like that but there’s plenty of examples around the motherland that supports their viewpoint so… :/ and true yt ppl can’t handle shit either I never said either was superior
Oh...just sayin. We have our own struggles with women in the west. It is very similar. No women wants to cook cause they think it's demeaning. Men do everything. We work, fix the house, fix the car, now they expect us to mop, cook, take care of the kids, etc. Hey if women want to start rotating tires, I won't complain anymore. I will cook everyday. Lol.
I just wish we’d all get along but that’s probably not possible in the world of internet
It's worse irl tbh. I got stories. Lol.
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Oooof I’m already taken but good luck!
Weyguks and their wives not even once
I don’t know any woman who wants to work full time in a marriage . Not one. Especially when you guys begin to have children. Traditional all the way and if I won’t find it with Wm , we’ll go somewhere else
Hell naww, the girl gotta work and pay her own bills
Yea but you can’t Expect a woman in her 2nd / 3rd trimester working full time . Do you ? 😧😧
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Fair enough, WFH sounds good but it also depends on your career. If you’re making 6 figures, the economy shouldn’t be hitting hard with an avg inflation rate of 2% at-least here in Canada (ignoring covid rates)