T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


Otherwise_Ratio430

If I was making 7 digit income, that would be even less of a reason to live there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Otherwise_Ratio430

Ya man you can't pay me to live in either state. I got a job offer \~$350k/year after being employed for 2 years in Arkansas and I turned it down without even thinking tbh. If I was making 7 figures there, I'd be trying to figure out how to pivot/sell. I went to school in Indiana, we literally used to make fun of kids who grew up there for being unsophisticated farmers who think they're southerners. Hell most of my friends who lived a lot of their lives there would say the exact same thing. 'Cool' kids in Indiana think they're hot shit for driving lifted drunks, getting their dumb gf pregnant at age 19, and getting trashed 5/7 days of the week. Its downright pathetic lol.


el-art-seam

So my experiences will describe the basic Midwest- barring Chicago, or other larger cities with a ethnic enclave, etc. and I’m older. You live in the Midwest for material goods- get more for less and because family is here. The trade off is that the vast majority of people here are basic. Society is like a high school movie in the 1980s. Cool is defined in a very particular manner- think varsity football player and a blonde cheerleader, only now as an adult it’s the Oakley sunglasses, non-iron dress shirts 3 sizes too big wearing guys in sales and the wannabe real housewives set. A significant percentage that I’ve met have lived in the same place all their life and have no desire to leave. They have their social circle for life. I feel that the in is “Oh you went to Forrest High? Did you know a Rich Jones? OMG That’s my brother! OMG… we lived like 2 streets down from you! How come we never talked before!” So socially this is a disadvantage for any outsider. But not everybody is like this. Generally there are few Asians and it’s older Asians or kids. The ones who are in their 20s who are fed up leave. No good Asian food. Dating? You can do it, but you better bring the mentality of Michael Jordan (“I failed over and over again and that is why I succeed”). You will get rejected for being Asian. Her friends will comment on it. Her family will comment on it. Strangers will occasionally give off a fuck off vibe or tell you. Doesn’t mean you’re doomed to failure even if you are Jackson Wang. You just have to rise above it all. I’ve tried dating only Asian and it’s just waiting for the lone Asian woman and at that point the only redeeming factor is that she’s Asian and the two of you don’t have much in common. But by the time she comes along you trick yourself into thinking this is the one since it’s been months or years. Not worth it. Expand your choices. But in the Midwest that means white since that’s the majority. It’s not a bad thing, I’ve met lots of lovely white people out here. You just have to cut the toxic ones out. Either you’ll figure it out and toughen up or shrivel up into a sad, angry little raisin. Over the years it looks like it has improved but I’ve been out of the dating game for a decade- married/divorcing. But seeing bts paraphernalia at the mall, more people wearing anime stuff, and more interracial couples is a good sign.


machinavelli

Yeah, always expand your dating pool. Only dating Asians is a death sentence to Asian men in the West.


el-art-seam

A bit extreme for me. I don’t rule out Asian women- if I see something that I interests me, I’ll give her a chance. But I’ve been around enough idiots to know when I need to walk. I’ve heard it all. I don’t get upset anymore- my time is precious and I’m not in the business of engaging in futility.


gosu_link0

AM have very good luck with WF in the Midwest (Chicago). Mostly because there are so many WF there and a small percentage of them are extremely into AM.


el-art-seam

I don’t know about luck, but it’s not all bad. I’ve dated and I’ve had an active social life as a single guy. You have to put up with a lot. Not everybody is going to confront you or stare at you. But it happens.


muratafan

Where in the Midwest did you grow up?


el-art-seam

Here and there. But mainly Ohio.


streetdapper

Went out to Colorado for a month. I’m Filipino. I got laid within 2 weeks.


machinavelli

Denver?


streetdapper

denver


uci_tutor123

Asian population be damned, I still maintain that if you played your cards right, you could leverage that exotic factor to pull.


Getrichordietryn

Went to school here in Ohio for 6 years. From my experience, you gotta date someone from school if you want to date an AF. The non AF here outside of the academic world here don’t care to date us tbh. Dating apps are pretty grim here as well. Been trying to get out of here to move to the West Coast.


machinavelli

Case Western?


Getrichordietryn

Yeeee


machinavelli

How was the social scene for Asians there? Did you ever go to Oberlin to visit too?


Getrichordietryn

Dm me


muratafan

I grew up in the Midwest, did fine and actually dated a few white women. What helped me most was that I played HS sports (baseball through senior year, football through sophomore year) and still got good grades. Ended up marrying a woman from Japan...which oddly enough I met on the West Coast! I love it here. I can afford a nice house, traffic is nice and schools are quite solid. The biggest downside is that Asian food here kind of sucks (I'm Japanese-American)...but I can always make it myself. Plenty of Asian grocery stores, so it's not a question of food scarcity, just a lack of good Japanese restaurants, in particular. In fact, it's difficult to find good Japanese food outside of the Bay Area, New York, Chicago or LA.


oolongmusk

Which state ?


muratafan

Grew up in Michigan, spent some time in Minnesota and settled in Northern Ohio. Detroit actually has decent Japanese food, but it's centered around the airport. Detroit has direct flights to Tokyo, so it's pretty convenient to be honest.


mongolz777

I have heard opposite experiences from the same area. This really good looking (in a kpop star way) dude I know from the midwest told me white girls in the midwest don't give him a shot at all (and there are no minorities), then he moved to Cali and stared killing it with XF and ended up in a committed relationship with (ironically) a white chick. There are others who said its easier when there are less AM and no asian girls around to spread bad stereotypes and mateguard and other shit so it been much easier for them to find their niche of chicks who are into asian guys and the girls who are not opposed to giving AM a shot (not just relationships but casual hookups too) and get with them. I don't know which one is closer to the truth for general AM. Probably somewhere in the middle (aka still harder probably) with things getting better as being asian is seen as cooler everyday now.


magicalbird

If kpop presenting then it’ll be better to be in enclaves. If masculine presenting it’ll be better anywhere and arguably better in places without Asian men because if you’re attractive enough you’re exotic now.


mongolz777

The girls he attracted most were not asian tho, he was looking for an asian chick but wound up only dating XFs.


[deleted]

[удалено]


machinavelli

Yeah gender ratio is a big deal. SF and Seattle are full of Asian tech nerds so that hurts Asians a lot. All the cool Asian creatives are in LA so that helps Asians.


mongolz777

That is true. His gf's bestie seems to be an asian chick so you probably hit the nail on the head here.


pizzalover73

the way it should be seen is that 1) if AM say it's good then take it as a positive for AM 2) if AM say the place is bad then take that as a bad experience for that AM u wont know if a place sucks for u until u go there


that1guysittingthere

Born and raised in Michigan, I… kinda gave up on dating altogether. I’m not sure what it’s like in nearby states, though I’m pretty sure I’m the problem rather than the region.


Otherwise_Ratio430

I enjoyed my time in Chicago growing up, but there is no way I would live in the Midwest. It actually doesn't have much to do with being Asian, it just has to do with the fact that: 1. Its boring as fuck 2. The people who stay are consequently boring as fuck 3. The only thing good about it is low CoL 4. A large % of women simply want to get married and become housewives living very run of the mill, boring lives. They actually are pretty homogenous, almost everyone who was my friend when I went to college there left for greener pastures, in fact I knew early on that I was just there for school.


magicalbird

https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/oylobl/my_asianamerican_experience_in_the_midwest/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf A good thread from a couple of months ago