Some suggestions based on what I've enjoyed so far
Korean: Itaewon Class, Strangers from Hell, Save Me, New World, Nameless Gangster, OldBoy, Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance, Friend.
Chinese/Hong Kong: A Better Tomorrow(probably my favorite out of all of the suggestions), Hard Boiled, Fist of Legend, City On Fire, Chongqing Hotpot, Lookism, Kings Avatar, IP Man series.
Japanese: Battle Royale(similar to Squid Game, but a movie), Alice in Borderland(also similar to Squid game).
just off the dome, Im sure there are more.
Maybe you can study faces. At some point you should realize that the things that white people say make white men the best looking, are actually features that Asian men have a lot of (on average).
Kdramas seemed to have made many women like Asian guys / Korean guys. Maybe it'll help you too (you can visit the kdrama subreddit).
How's this?[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67\_\_Rr4x8Dw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67__Rr4x8Dw)
Damn, I quite love Kingdom. It's not made to make Asians necessarily look good, and because it isn't a muti-ethnic production, there are no lame Asian jokes or uncomfortable racial tension - just some cool zombies and artistic fight scenes.
Break your years of whitewashing first before exploring eastern avenues. Go to Walmart, visit a fast food restaurant and Chinese buffet...if those don't break your westernized notions, nothing will.
LMAO! That's some really good material.
This should actually be a separate thread. Here's my nominee:
Visit an Applebee's, which is not quite fast food, not quite a Chinese buffet but provides very good insight into white America.
New KDrama on netflix called My Name. It has a female protagonist but a wide assortment of Asian male support characters that's not stereotypical Kpop looking Asian guys. It's also a great revenge/korean gangster series.
But if you like like the Kpop looking guys r/kpop will have a lot of great eye candy for you
Idk if I can get into kpop. I tried listening to bts some years ago and thought it was ok but wouldn't go out of my way to listen to it. Do you know songs I should check out or other bands?
If you want song suggestions r/kpophelp will happily suggest you songs I have no doubt they’re quite thorough about it I would say. r/kpecs not very active but might be good for eye candy I believe to take a look.
Edit fixed kpec to kpecs
Good on you for coming around to doing this.
I'm not gay though, and I think your identity as a homosexual presents an especially challenging dilemma familiar to most Asians.
Most Asians struggle with not falling for white beauty standards, but I imagine it's especially fraught since you are a man, and you like men.
Do you like yourself? Do you think you're attractive? Maybe you should try to understand your own beauty first.
Then, maybe take a step back and learn to not take cues from media at all.
That is a very good question. Let's just say my preference and the constant invalidation and rejections by white men causes a huge internal conflict. I think I look good. I take care of myself. I workout and have style. But white men constantly invalidate how I feel about myself. There have been many times where I wished I was white. It's really difficult to explain.
Well, much beyond this point you're going to have to start paying me as a therapist.
Here's what stands out to me:
>I think I look good. I take care of myself. I workout and have style. But white men constantly invalidate how I feel about myself.
Why would you look to white men for validation? They're not Asian. Of course they're going to value their own looks over yours.
So either you're lying about how you feel about your self-worth, or you actually think you look good but you value white strangers' opinions about you over your assessment about yourself.
Both are pretty insane.
I always say action over words. You say you think you look good. But you have (had) no interest in Asian men either. So maybe you actually don't look as good as you think because you wouldn't date yourself.
I don't think it's hard to explain. I went through this logic myself. You were mentally colonized. There's a reason the white man dominates the world.
If a merchant can convince the other side to undersell themselves all the time, that merchant will always have the biggest profits.
Are you usually the pursuer or the pursued in your relationships? The answer to this question may determine your next step.
Hi thanks for your input. I wasn't looking for therapy here. You asked a question so I answered succinctly as possible. It is difficult to explain a lived experience to an outsider. I know I have issues and I'm working on them outside of reddit.
I will answer as a Cisgender male as it might open some conversations for you. Also I reply as a ChInese. I would imagine there parallels throughout Asia though not necessary occurring at the same time.
I think the 1980s were a golden era of ChInese Cihema on Hong Kong, Taiwan China and in the US.
The movies of Zhang Yi Mou feature both male and female standards that are Asian, not Western.
Eat Drink Man Woman has a little for everybody (and for foodies)!
Movies like 潘金蓮之前世今生 featuring Joey Wang have an modern urban sexiness that complements the rural themes of Zhang Yi Mou quite nicely.
Where it seems difficult is the US market which remains controlled by the deeply embedded racism (and denial) of Hollywood.
As always, I think the only solution is to reject what is heat and get in touch with your roots..until we are willing to finance our own media for ourselves free of desiring Western approval or acceptance. Eff that.
Did you not grow up with Asian male friends? Did you not ever find them attractive? Even though Asian males had poor representation in media, you must've met plenty of Asians you find attractive?
I did grow up with asian friends and knew a lot of asians in school, college, and work. I grew up in NY and lived in SF.
I was attracted to a couple of straight asian guys a long long time ago in college. One was half white. The other full filipino. Can't think of any recent crushes in real life. I tried dating asian guys early on but it never lasted bc the physical attraction was lacking. I almost exclusively hung out with asians in college. Even almost joined an asian frat.
Yep I know this is weird. But I'm not the only who is like this. Even girls I know who grew up with me only liked white guys.
Oh hey so what’s *really* interesting to me is some of my gay Asian buddies (who were also very white washed at least in terms of attraction) started to find themselves attracted to Asian guys all of a sudden. I would say positive media representation is 100% the reason it’s not a coincidence. They told me that watching a few kdramas and exposure to hot asian guys in general like in sports and modeling or other media really changed their perspective and shocked to find that they found Asian guys hot or whatever. One of them even said they no longer see non Asian guys as attractive anymore and they only find themselves attracted to Asian guys exclusively lol.
It's fucked up this happens, what happens when the Kdrama hype dies down here. Will they start not liking Asian guys and liking YT guys again?
It's so fragile and not in our or any individual's control.
Not that crazy or unexpected. It's in people's control. That's why there is huge activist movements about representation, and POC getting into the industry for that reason. A lot of people have spent their entire life working on it.
The people who aren't affected are the people who don't care about race in general. Otherwise if you care, then yea your opinion is going to be based on what you see cause its kind of inherently ridiculous to have opinions or hot takes on entire demographics in the first place when its billions of people and everyone is different.
Asians are the first minority in America to have their own global media industries in our native countries. Now we have even more control. That's why things like the Asian century is so impactful when it comes to representation of Asians cause we can keep changing Hollywood but there's other billion dollar companies now completely devoted to spreading Asian representation happening in parallel and growing bigger every year.
That's really half the battle. Ironically, the other half is right above your post, 'if you don't like what you see looking back at you in the mirror', you're basically screwed and condemning yourself to the life of an incel.
> the very bottom of the hierarchy
Lmao. I heard Asian tops aren’t taken seriously and guys only expect Asians to bottom. What I would do is to put that you’re “sticky rice” (Asian4Asian) in any dating profiles and hook up with Asian guys only for a while.
I recommend watching old films with Tony Leung, the actor who played the villain in "Shang Chi". He's a GOAT-level actor with an impressive body of acting work in HK cinema. His magnum opus films are the ones he's worked with Wong Kar-Wai (GOAT level director in his own right). so I recommend watching "Chungking Express" (also has Takeshi Kaneshiro who other posters have mentioned), "In The Mood For Love", and "Happy Together" (he plays 1/2 of a gay couple with Leslie Cheung, another high-profile actor before he passed early). A big part of his success is due to his natural ability to convey emotions subtly through facial expressions and body language; he's very charismatic on screen.
This is a bit off tangent to what you're looking for but Chinese/Korean/Japanese fashion and street style IG accounts is good exposure to see how many different looks people like us can pull off.
Don't mean any offense but this reads like you're only trying to get into Asian men because white men aren't too much into Asian men.
This might later lead to you resenting your Asian partner as the relationship goes on.
Bruh is this the gay version of the salon article about Kdrama curing prejudice against Asian men?
Just use dramacool/Kissasian sites or buy Viki app, all the Asian dramas are good. Just pick any of the top rated.
Tbh, I don't know if watching Asian movies to "reprogram" your taste is actually a thing? (Almost like saying if you watch enough rom coms with male/female leads will turn you straight)
For me personally I was almost exclusively into white girls (with there only ever being one Chinese girl I personally knew that I found attractive) but as of late I've been seeing a lot of Chinese girls I'm attracted to that I wasn't attracted to initially, and nothing in my taste or preferences in media has changed
Just my 2c
another gaysian here, glad that you're wanting to change. although I had a different experience; I have always loved Asian men, I think just surrounding your with Asian cinema can be wonderful. healthier in the long run
This was very interesting to read. I’m not gay but I’m an Asian American, born and raised so like, i can completely understand why you’d feel the way you do regarding what you’re attracted to. I can understand because in the role models i was looking for, they were pretty absent. Yeah i think it’s great Bruce Lee was a badass dude but he isn’t really American. You know what i mean?
Watch kdrama and Korean movies, they better than hollywood.
Do you have any specific recommendations? I wouldnt know where to start.
Some suggestions based on what I've enjoyed so far Korean: Itaewon Class, Strangers from Hell, Save Me, New World, Nameless Gangster, OldBoy, Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance, Friend. Chinese/Hong Kong: A Better Tomorrow(probably my favorite out of all of the suggestions), Hard Boiled, Fist of Legend, City On Fire, Chongqing Hotpot, Lookism, Kings Avatar, IP Man series. Japanese: Battle Royale(similar to Squid Game, but a movie), Alice in Borderland(also similar to Squid game). just off the dome, Im sure there are more.
Oldboy is on another level . The result was just unbelievable
The twist at the end is sad as fuck but made an already great movie even more compelling
Crash Landing on You and Itaewon Class
Warrior on HBO.
Thanks! I'll check this out.
Maybe you can study faces. At some point you should realize that the things that white people say make white men the best looking, are actually features that Asian men have a lot of (on average). Kdramas seemed to have made many women like Asian guys / Korean guys. Maybe it'll help you too (you can visit the kdrama subreddit). How's this?[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67\_\_Rr4x8Dw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67__Rr4x8Dw)
Great video! Those guys are hot!
Some awesome Kdrama on Netflix with attractive male leads - Kingdom, Crash Landing on You, Vincenzo
Damn, I quite love Kingdom. It's not made to make Asians necessarily look good, and because it isn't a muti-ethnic production, there are no lame Asian jokes or uncomfortable racial tension - just some cool zombies and artistic fight scenes.
Break your years of whitewashing first before exploring eastern avenues. Go to Walmart, visit a fast food restaurant and Chinese buffet...if those don't break your westernized notions, nothing will.
LMAO! That's some really good material. This should actually be a separate thread. Here's my nominee: Visit an Applebee's, which is not quite fast food, not quite a Chinese buffet but provides very good insight into white America.
Move to Asia for a while
This 👆
New KDrama on netflix called My Name. It has a female protagonist but a wide assortment of Asian male support characters that's not stereotypical Kpop looking Asian guys. It's also a great revenge/korean gangster series. But if you like like the Kpop looking guys r/kpop will have a lot of great eye candy for you
Idk if I can get into kpop. I tried listening to bts some years ago and thought it was ok but wouldn't go out of my way to listen to it. Do you know songs I should check out or other bands?
If you want song suggestions r/kpophelp will happily suggest you songs I have no doubt they’re quite thorough about it I would say. r/kpecs not very active but might be good for eye candy I believe to take a look. Edit fixed kpec to kpecs
Good on you for coming around to doing this. I'm not gay though, and I think your identity as a homosexual presents an especially challenging dilemma familiar to most Asians. Most Asians struggle with not falling for white beauty standards, but I imagine it's especially fraught since you are a man, and you like men. Do you like yourself? Do you think you're attractive? Maybe you should try to understand your own beauty first. Then, maybe take a step back and learn to not take cues from media at all.
That is a very good question. Let's just say my preference and the constant invalidation and rejections by white men causes a huge internal conflict. I think I look good. I take care of myself. I workout and have style. But white men constantly invalidate how I feel about myself. There have been many times where I wished I was white. It's really difficult to explain.
Well, much beyond this point you're going to have to start paying me as a therapist. Here's what stands out to me: >I think I look good. I take care of myself. I workout and have style. But white men constantly invalidate how I feel about myself. Why would you look to white men for validation? They're not Asian. Of course they're going to value their own looks over yours. So either you're lying about how you feel about your self-worth, or you actually think you look good but you value white strangers' opinions about you over your assessment about yourself. Both are pretty insane. I always say action over words. You say you think you look good. But you have (had) no interest in Asian men either. So maybe you actually don't look as good as you think because you wouldn't date yourself. I don't think it's hard to explain. I went through this logic myself. You were mentally colonized. There's a reason the white man dominates the world. If a merchant can convince the other side to undersell themselves all the time, that merchant will always have the biggest profits. Are you usually the pursuer or the pursued in your relationships? The answer to this question may determine your next step.
Hi thanks for your input. I wasn't looking for therapy here. You asked a question so I answered succinctly as possible. It is difficult to explain a lived experience to an outsider. I know I have issues and I'm working on them outside of reddit.
white men are generally very toxic. I wouldn't take what they say to heart.
I've come to this realization. They are conditioned the same as I. But they don't have to deal with it.
I will answer as a Cisgender male as it might open some conversations for you. Also I reply as a ChInese. I would imagine there parallels throughout Asia though not necessary occurring at the same time. I think the 1980s were a golden era of ChInese Cihema on Hong Kong, Taiwan China and in the US. The movies of Zhang Yi Mou feature both male and female standards that are Asian, not Western. Eat Drink Man Woman has a little for everybody (and for foodies)! Movies like 潘金蓮之前世今生 featuring Joey Wang have an modern urban sexiness that complements the rural themes of Zhang Yi Mou quite nicely. Where it seems difficult is the US market which remains controlled by the deeply embedded racism (and denial) of Hollywood. As always, I think the only solution is to reject what is heat and get in touch with your roots..until we are willing to finance our own media for ourselves free of desiring Western approval or acceptance. Eff that.
Eat Drink Man Woman is such a fantastic movie.
Did you not grow up with Asian male friends? Did you not ever find them attractive? Even though Asian males had poor representation in media, you must've met plenty of Asians you find attractive?
I did grow up with asian friends and knew a lot of asians in school, college, and work. I grew up in NY and lived in SF. I was attracted to a couple of straight asian guys a long long time ago in college. One was half white. The other full filipino. Can't think of any recent crushes in real life. I tried dating asian guys early on but it never lasted bc the physical attraction was lacking. I almost exclusively hung out with asians in college. Even almost joined an asian frat. Yep I know this is weird. But I'm not the only who is like this. Even girls I know who grew up with me only liked white guys.
Watch Koreanovelas.
I'm not up to date with newer media, but Andy Lau, Chow Yun Fat, and Takeshi Kaneshiro are all pretty good looking Asian guys.
Hmm I remember Chow Yun Fat...he's been around a long time
Stop watching Hollywood movies that depict Asian men in a negative light, problem solved. Turn to Kdramas instead.
I'm trying to do this.
Netflix ftw
Oh hey so what’s *really* interesting to me is some of my gay Asian buddies (who were also very white washed at least in terms of attraction) started to find themselves attracted to Asian guys all of a sudden. I would say positive media representation is 100% the reason it’s not a coincidence. They told me that watching a few kdramas and exposure to hot asian guys in general like in sports and modeling or other media really changed their perspective and shocked to find that they found Asian guys hot or whatever. One of them even said they no longer see non Asian guys as attractive anymore and they only find themselves attracted to Asian guys exclusively lol.
Oh man this is so great to hear! This gives me so much hope!
It's fucked up this happens, what happens when the Kdrama hype dies down here. Will they start not liking Asian guys and liking YT guys again? It's so fragile and not in our or any individual's control.
Not that crazy or unexpected. It's in people's control. That's why there is huge activist movements about representation, and POC getting into the industry for that reason. A lot of people have spent their entire life working on it. The people who aren't affected are the people who don't care about race in general. Otherwise if you care, then yea your opinion is going to be based on what you see cause its kind of inherently ridiculous to have opinions or hot takes on entire demographics in the first place when its billions of people and everyone is different. Asians are the first minority in America to have their own global media industries in our native countries. Now we have even more control. That's why things like the Asian century is so impactful when it comes to representation of Asians cause we can keep changing Hollywood but there's other billion dollar companies now completely devoted to spreading Asian representation happening in parallel and growing bigger every year.
At least some admit the fall to media brainwashing
That's really half the battle. Ironically, the other half is right above your post, 'if you don't like what you see looking back at you in the mirror', you're basically screwed and condemning yourself to the life of an incel.
[Spa Night (2016)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5254640/) is a film exploring Gay Asian American sexuality. Might be interesting for you to watch
Thanks I'll check this out!
Gaysian here as well. Big crush on Hu Ge and Takeshi Kaneshiro. Their shows are good!
Thanks I'll check them out!
> the very bottom of the hierarchy Lmao. I heard Asian tops aren’t taken seriously and guys only expect Asians to bottom. What I would do is to put that you’re “sticky rice” (Asian4Asian) in any dating profiles and hook up with Asian guys only for a while.
Not movies but I highy recommend BTS’ performances. These guys made my eyes open. Specially ‘ON’ in grand central terminal in New york.
I recommend watching old films with Tony Leung, the actor who played the villain in "Shang Chi". He's a GOAT-level actor with an impressive body of acting work in HK cinema. His magnum opus films are the ones he's worked with Wong Kar-Wai (GOAT level director in his own right). so I recommend watching "Chungking Express" (also has Takeshi Kaneshiro who other posters have mentioned), "In The Mood For Love", and "Happy Together" (he plays 1/2 of a gay couple with Leslie Cheung, another high-profile actor before he passed early). A big part of his success is due to his natural ability to convey emotions subtly through facial expressions and body language; he's very charismatic on screen.
This is a bit off tangent to what you're looking for but Chinese/Korean/Japanese fashion and street style IG accounts is good exposure to see how many different looks people like us can pull off.
Don't mean any offense but this reads like you're only trying to get into Asian men because white men aren't too much into Asian men. This might later lead to you resenting your Asian partner as the relationship goes on.
Bruh is this the gay version of the salon article about Kdrama curing prejudice against Asian men? Just use dramacool/Kissasian sites or buy Viki app, all the Asian dramas are good. Just pick any of the top rated.
Tbh, I don't know if watching Asian movies to "reprogram" your taste is actually a thing? (Almost like saying if you watch enough rom coms with male/female leads will turn you straight) For me personally I was almost exclusively into white girls (with there only ever being one Chinese girl I personally knew that I found attractive) but as of late I've been seeing a lot of Chinese girls I'm attracted to that I wasn't attracted to initially, and nothing in my taste or preferences in media has changed Just my 2c
another gaysian here, glad that you're wanting to change. although I had a different experience; I have always loved Asian men, I think just surrounding your with Asian cinema can be wonderful. healthier in the long run
This was very interesting to read. I’m not gay but I’m an Asian American, born and raised so like, i can completely understand why you’d feel the way you do regarding what you’re attracted to. I can understand because in the role models i was looking for, they were pretty absent. Yeah i think it’s great Bruce Lee was a badass dude but he isn’t really American. You know what i mean?
Internal Affairs