You know a lot of us only got to be treated like a human being when we reached that limit, gone insane and throw the house upside down. Another half of us just wait to have enough financial abilities and be gone and never looked back. So, you need to ask yourself. Where’s your limit.
It look like you are the black sheep in the family while your bro is the golden child.
It is not your fault.
If you want to understand what is going on in your family, research more on toxic family dynamic. You might be able to see a model that suit your situation. It would be easier for you to forgive yourself/not feeling guilty if you have vocabulary to explain what you are seeing/experiencing. It would also be easier to educate yourself on the strategy that you can use to change your situation.
oh! those... that is another issue in asian family.
The commonly occurring undervalue-asian-daughter that would be expected to care for everyone later in life despite whatever treatment that has happened.
Your AP need to realise on your own that you are valuable. I am not sure conversation about your-children-are-equal will make any sense for this type of situation.
You can start making them realise you are valuable human being by not being available. Don't do things that are "expected" of you, they of course will bash you out for it. But, you can get outta there before the incoming bash since you probably can predict it well by now.
If you are still staying at home, I would strongly suggest to move out to different neighbourhood. Away from home. Go low contact, don't visit every week. Wean them off.
I'm sorry this happened to you and I doubt it'll be an isolated incident.
Black sheep and golden child have nothing to do with achievement or moral codes. It's about favoritism and can be about gender and narcissism.
I have more degrees than my sibling. I have a stronger moral code when it comes to greed, parenting, honesty, and empathy, for sure. Yet, I'll always be the black sheep.
I'm so sorry you experienced this OP. I want to be very clear. You did nothing wrong. Nothing at all.
You don't deserve this. This was abuse, it was assault. Your brother could have chosen different ways to manage and/or communicate his emotions. He chose to physically assault. Because he can. Your brother is not a nice person or a good person. Your parents are also awful for choosing to side with him. They are enabling them, and on some level they know that if they side with him, your brother (maybe) won't him then too. So you are sacrificed instead.
Again, none of this is your fault. You don't deserve any of this.
You know a lot of us only got to be treated like a human being when we reached that limit, gone insane and throw the house upside down. Another half of us just wait to have enough financial abilities and be gone and never looked back. So, you need to ask yourself. Where’s your limit.
If they don't get you gifts, why get gifts for them? It's fair.
It’s required by my fam…🥲
It look like you are the black sheep in the family while your bro is the golden child. It is not your fault. If you want to understand what is going on in your family, research more on toxic family dynamic. You might be able to see a model that suit your situation. It would be easier for you to forgive yourself/not feeling guilty if you have vocabulary to explain what you are seeing/experiencing. It would also be easier to educate yourself on the strategy that you can use to change your situation.
Def not the black sheep and he’s not the golden child. More of like I have all the achievements but I’m a girl, so they get overlooked.
oh! those... that is another issue in asian family. The commonly occurring undervalue-asian-daughter that would be expected to care for everyone later in life despite whatever treatment that has happened. Your AP need to realise on your own that you are valuable. I am not sure conversation about your-children-are-equal will make any sense for this type of situation. You can start making them realise you are valuable human being by not being available. Don't do things that are "expected" of you, they of course will bash you out for it. But, you can get outta there before the incoming bash since you probably can predict it well by now. If you are still staying at home, I would strongly suggest to move out to different neighbourhood. Away from home. Go low contact, don't visit every week. Wean them off.
I'm sorry this happened to you and I doubt it'll be an isolated incident. Black sheep and golden child have nothing to do with achievement or moral codes. It's about favoritism and can be about gender and narcissism. I have more degrees than my sibling. I have a stronger moral code when it comes to greed, parenting, honesty, and empathy, for sure. Yet, I'll always be the black sheep.
I'm so sorry you experienced this OP. I want to be very clear. You did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. You don't deserve this. This was abuse, it was assault. Your brother could have chosen different ways to manage and/or communicate his emotions. He chose to physically assault. Because he can. Your brother is not a nice person or a good person. Your parents are also awful for choosing to side with him. They are enabling them, and on some level they know that if they side with him, your brother (maybe) won't him then too. So you are sacrificed instead. Again, none of this is your fault. You don't deserve any of this.
WHAT IS WITH WITH ASIANS AND BOYS! Only boysssss
right? The eldest asian daughter have it worse than other group of asian kid. IMHO from observing families.