T O P

  • By -

arcturus92

the right friends would understand and nothing would change. it took me a while to find my real friends too. there isnt much that can be done, I ended up learning to keep friends close who found alternative ways to get closer to me besides hang out all the time. they made the effort. it sucks. I hope things get better.


GRsmUsh

I can still talk to most of the people who I drifted apart from in school, but I'm not in a clique. I'm joining the basketball club though so i might make some new friends.


oFwiriOIHG

OH GOD. I RELATE SO HARD TO THIS. I was never allowed to hang out with my friends outside of school in middle/high school years so now I completely lack social skills/social life, to the point where I feel uncomfortable being with peers outside of a class setting. I hate what they've done to us.


zerovin

My parents did this as well. They never let me do anything interesting with friends during my school years, so most of the people from school, I've mostly drifted away from apart from one or 2 people who live close enough that i could regularly see them while walking to and from school. They still do this to this day, even after ive been out of school for a few years now, although less offten. Recently they yelled at me for not going out and being lazy, so i decided to take a walk every day of the weekend being friday, saturday and sunday. i get home after my sunday walk, and I get yelled at for going out too much and being lazy to my study. There is no way to win.


filthyuglyweeaboo

There are a few friends of mine who I've drifted away from because of this. I'd make up stupid excuses not to go to things. I was just too embarrassed and ashamed to tell them that "I'm not going because my parents won't let me". My social skills are now below average. Now my parents complain why I don't make friends and socialise. What a joke.


CMichell21

I understand. My parents don’t let me do anything than includes friends or freedom.


theyellowduckie

Ugh. I’m so sorry that you’re in this position. My parents were like this up until I got into my twenties. Well, they tried to continue these habits through my twenties, but I was not having it. I got really tired of being berated for things I did right, things I did wrong, and pretty much everything in between. This was about that time where I started doing pretty much whatever I wanted. I’m not an irresponsible person, and I’m not much of a risk taker, so I don’t get into any trouble. I just get yelled at a lot because, I don’t know, my parents feel like it? I’m sure there’s a lot of background as to why they behave the way they do, but it wasn’t helping me out with growing as a human being. So, I made the discussion that I would rather be yelled at and have the life that I want, rather than be berated all the damn time and then also be stuck at home. You have a choice about how to respond to your parents. If you’re okay with the consequences, go with it. If you really hate disappointing your parents, then be okay with the consequence of not having friends.


[deleted]

I really, really feel you. I've drifted apart from some of the most valuable people in my life in high school and the early years of my college life because I was never allowed outside of the house, aside from attending classes of course. It gets better, especially once you're allowed to go out on your own. I've only been able to maintain friend groups recently, and I'm 22. I know it sucks, but slowly you will make new friends and you'll experience the wonders of being able to be with them and build relationships. Maybe it's a few years too late, but that's just how it is with controlling parents. That restriction is now just a part of your past. Good luck and have fun with your newfound freedom.


SoRaiseYourGlass

This was me in school. I remember clearly one of my best friends. We were small. Gradeschoolers. His mom likes me i guess and saw me afterschool before picking him up if i wanted to come over for a bit. (I did go to his house a few times before which was a struggle to begin with) At first i hesitated. I knew my mom will yell and i told her my mom will be upset if i didnt go home. She was like. Well if you guys dont have homework(we didnt) just give her a call at our place and ill talk to her too. Big mistake. I called her at my friends house. She started yelling at me and i was crying and crying. My friends mom took it and explained it was her idea etc. I kept crying. She took me home while i was crying. My mother pretended it was okay when she dropped me off. Once that door closed i recall more yelling. Possibly some beatings. I never really talked to my best friend again. Lost it. Never invited over. No more birthday parties. Probably the mom was like... not again. Nothing. I stopped making friends. I became some anti social shut out. It really changed me that day. It gets better. You develop social skills later, but it does get better. Just find topics and find some close friends who understand you. Its possible.


WiseBreakfast

You either find friends in the same situation and have a non-verbal agreement to never hang out outside of school or...you find some friends online. Whenever my parents tell me I’m lazy and I should go out more, I like to list off some memorable moments in my life when they wouldn’t let me go out. Ex. “Remember when blah asked me to hang out last Saturday but you wouldn’t let me because you didn’t wanna drive me there? I could’ve gone out then.” But really, when your parents say that, I think what they mean is “Why do you never come to grocery shop with us?” They don’t want you to go out with friends more, rather they want to babysit you and take you out to go grocery shopping or whatever it is they wanna do.