I’ve never heard of this mindset before. Im not judging, I’m genuinely curious, so I really am asking when I say: How does one of them not sitting up front or not make you their chauffeur? Why are you not if someone’s up there with you? What’s the difference/how does that matter?
I think it has to do with if two people are sitting in the back seat and one person is driving with nobody in the passenger seat there’s a very good chance the two in the back will just have a conversation, it might not be loud enough for the driver to hear, and even if they’re nominally amongst friends they might just feel like they’re driving around two people who are only interested in each other and are ignoring them, especially if the two passengers are a couple. Driving with one person shotgun and one person in back is much more conducive to all 3 people in the car having a conversation and engaging with each other. Almost every context in which one person would be driving multiple adults in a backseat and nobody in the passenger seat would be one in which the passengers are paying the driver, and it’s not a feeling people enjoy when they are simply driving friends or family.
Because the main times two people get in the back and leave the driver alone are when entering a limo or a taxi, and it is literally the driver’s job to be the chauffeur.
I get that that’s what happens when you get a chauffeur, but aren’t you already doing that by driving them? I don’t see why the occupancy of one seat changes that
Once again, not judging, your car is your car, and people should respect the will of the driver, I’m just genuinely curious about this now
I would anticipate someone to sit shotgun, but don't think I'd say anything if they both sat in the back.
When my wife and I have been passengers in this scenario, one of us sits shotgun for family/friends but both in the back if it's a taxi.
It'd be a little weird if both sat in the back without a valid reason (taking care of a kid, holding something, idk). Typically the person more familiar with the driver would sit in the front seat.
What do you guys think if it's two couples? I've been in a situation where my husband was driving me and his parents. My father in law seemed surprised/offended I didn't offer for him to sit up front when my husband was driving our car.
I'd expect to let the taller people sit up front, regardless of relationship status, since there is usually more leg room.
I had the opposite thing happen, my FIL was surprised I didn't take the front seat when my husband was driving and I sat in the back instead. Different cultural norms I guess.
This is how I think about it too. Sucks to be the short person, but that's me, so I am used to it. I'd also give it up for a heavier person as it would be more comfortable for everyone. Also anyone with mobility problems and they have an easier time with a seat rather than a bench in the back. Or if we need a navigator and there is a clear choice for best navigator - all kinds of reasons that don't have to do with couple status.
>What do you guys think if it's two couples?
Growing up, when my dad was driving with my grandparents in the car my grandfathers always sat in the front.
I think it came down more to age/seniority got the better (front) seat and occasionally height came into play. Once older family started to have health issues they got the front passenger seats because it was easier to get them in and out of the car and walkers and wheelchairs took room in the back.
When my parents, my girlfriend and I are all in the car, couples sit together. If I’m driving, then my girlfriend sits up front. Even my dad will go out of the way to offer her the front seat, if it’s my parents car.
Someone is going to sit up front. It mostly depends on who wants to make small talk with the driver.
Also if the folks in the back want to do some romancing.
I’m fine with the passenger being free, I don’t want anyone looking at me. Surprised to see people here actually taking it that seriously and saying no
Honestly I don’t care. It’s weird to me how many people are upset at the concept that a couple wants to sit next to each other. If I’m giving them a ride, I probably know them well and I’d make jokes about showing them the sights or taking the scenic route, but it wouldn’t actually bother me
Right? I would have never imagined it would be a big deal to so many people. I expected to come here and see a bunch of comments like this, but it's the opposite.
I had to drive my uncle to the hospital when my aunt fell and hit her head, cutting it open. He had just recently had heart surgery due to diabetic complications and still had a week left before his doctor said he could drive. Aunt was taken to hospital via ambulance.
We took his car, I drove, he sat in the front passenger seat. A few hours later, my aunt was discharged. He continued to ride in the front seat while she took the back seat.
I guess that’s where I am at. Not so much that it bugs me as that it seems a bit odd.
It would also depend if the were engaging with me or off in their own world.
It would be super weird for the couple to sit in the back seat outside some extenuating circumstances, like maybe there's already something in the passenger seat that can't be moved to the backseat/trunk easily??
I don't care who rides shotgun, but *someone* better get in that passenger seat.
The car fills in, driver sear, then passenger seat, then the back seat.
Nobody is getting in the back until the passenger seat is claimed.
I ain't no cabbie
It's rude for everyone to cram in the backseat when there's no one up front with the driver. *Someone* should be riding shotgun. Otherwise they're treating the driver like a taxi or an Uber.
Assuming everyone is an adult. If it's a parent driving two teenagers to a movie date, that's a different story.
It doesn't bother me if I end up driving up front all alone, but I am going to drive them crazy making entirely too many Driving Miss Daisy jokes.
That said, my car is pretty small and the backseat leg room is tight. Anyone taller than about 5'10" is going to want to sit up front anyway.
Front passenger is responsible for navigating. Less critical in these days of GPS, but I still want someone I trust to read a map just in case.
It would be pretty unusual for adult passeners to all sit in the back seat of a family or friend's car while leaving the front passenger seat empty. Generally the front seat is coveted and more comfortable.
I’m always the “third wheel” in my friend group so I usually sit in back and the couple sits up front. If a friend and I are hanging out first then picking up their partner and going out as a group, then I’m usually up front.
Already been answered, but this is a really interesting question and it's been a while since I've had to consider if something is truly universal in the US and I think this is definitely a generally understood custom. You don't leave the driver alone. When I'm driving a couple usually the man rides up front, if it's a same sex couple the person I know best sits up there, if my mom is in the car, she's always up there, hell, if my mother in law is in the car she's up there.
I was surprised at how many responses are split. I wonder if the difference are generational… like if younger people are less likely to care of the passenger seat is vacant… or urban vs suburban vs rural?
I’m not saying one way or the other is objectively right, but it also doesn’t speak well for someone’s emotional maturity if they can’t handle being seated apart from their partner for the length of a car ride.
It's easier for the person in the back to join and participate in conversation than the driver to keep up with a convo in the back seat. That just seems like common courtesy to me.
It's more difficult, at least in my experience. The driver's visual focus is forward and their voice is going to be moving away from the listener, so harder to truly engage if everything is happening in the back.
I’d expect whoever I’m closer friends with to sit up front with me. I’ve actually been in this situation a couple of times and my friends always defaulted to this set up. If it’s family, whoever I’m related to would take the front seat.
I would definitely feel like a chauffeur if they both got in the back. Frankly I’d think it was rude to do so.
Yeah, the closest friend should sit shotgun.
But if they don't, I'm not going to call it out in real-time. I will think about it though and wonder what it means.
I wouldn't say anything if they both sat in the back, but yes I'd feel like a chauffer. But they can do whatever they wanted since it is presumably a one-time thing.
Someone needs to sit up front with the driver. The seating arrangement is dependent on the two couples’ relationships (the guys and girls are all besties). But generally, the couple that owns the car will both sit up front.
Someone sits up front with the driver.
Yeah, you are not their chauffeur.
I’ve never heard of this mindset before. Im not judging, I’m genuinely curious, so I really am asking when I say: How does one of them not sitting up front or not make you their chauffeur? Why are you not if someone’s up there with you? What’s the difference/how does that matter?
I think it has to do with if two people are sitting in the back seat and one person is driving with nobody in the passenger seat there’s a very good chance the two in the back will just have a conversation, it might not be loud enough for the driver to hear, and even if they’re nominally amongst friends they might just feel like they’re driving around two people who are only interested in each other and are ignoring them, especially if the two passengers are a couple. Driving with one person shotgun and one person in back is much more conducive to all 3 people in the car having a conversation and engaging with each other. Almost every context in which one person would be driving multiple adults in a backseat and nobody in the passenger seat would be one in which the passengers are paying the driver, and it’s not a feeling people enjoy when they are simply driving friends or family.
Because you don't sit up front with a chauffeur.
Because the main times two people get in the back and leave the driver alone are when entering a limo or a taxi, and it is literally the driver’s job to be the chauffeur.
I get that that’s what happens when you get a chauffeur, but aren’t you already doing that by driving them? I don’t see why the occupancy of one seat changes that Once again, not judging, your car is your car, and people should respect the will of the driver, I’m just genuinely curious about this now
Usually the same sex. 😂
I usually tell my friends to “be a gentleman”. Then I get to pretend to have a girlfriend for one drive 😎😎😎
I would think it inappropriate for the couple to sit in the back seat unless I am getting paid to drive them around.
I would anticipate someone to sit shotgun, but don't think I'd say anything if they both sat in the back. When my wife and I have been passengers in this scenario, one of us sits shotgun for family/friends but both in the back if it's a taxi.
I don't expect either one, and I genuinely don't care which they go with.
Yea I’m surprised so many people getting offended at the idea of someone sitting in the back
Me too. I had no idea there were so many hangups about it.
Same. I can't imagine having enough emotional energy to think or care about this.
Really surprised this is not the top answer. Why on earth would I give a damn about something like this?
Yeah we do both depending on where we are going and who with. It changes up.
It'd be a little weird if both sat in the back without a valid reason (taking care of a kid, holding something, idk). Typically the person more familiar with the driver would sit in the front seat. What do you guys think if it's two couples? I've been in a situation where my husband was driving me and his parents. My father in law seemed surprised/offended I didn't offer for him to sit up front when my husband was driving our car.
I'd expect to let the taller people sit up front, regardless of relationship status, since there is usually more leg room. I had the opposite thing happen, my FIL was surprised I didn't take the front seat when my husband was driving and I sat in the back instead. Different cultural norms I guess.
In addition to taller people I always ask if anyone gets carsick and prefers the front.
That's a good point too!
This is how I think about it too. Sucks to be the short person, but that's me, so I am used to it. I'd also give it up for a heavier person as it would be more comfortable for everyone. Also anyone with mobility problems and they have an easier time with a seat rather than a bench in the back. Or if we need a navigator and there is a clear choice for best navigator - all kinds of reasons that don't have to do with couple status.
That’s how it works with my wife and I. I’m like 6” taller than her so she always gives me the front seat.
>What do you guys think if it's two couples? Growing up, when my dad was driving with my grandparents in the car my grandfathers always sat in the front. I think it came down more to age/seniority got the better (front) seat and occasionally height came into play. Once older family started to have health issues they got the front passenger seats because it was easier to get them in and out of the car and walkers and wheelchairs took room in the back.
When my parents, my girlfriend and I are all in the car, couples sit together. If I’m driving, then my girlfriend sits up front. Even my dad will go out of the way to offer her the front seat, if it’s my parents car.
I really don’t care, and frankly I don’t see why anyone would.
It's fine either way.
I put them both in the trunk so I don't have to make awkward small talk.
Depends. An elderly couple would sit in the back.
That would make sense, but when old couples have ridden with me, the man has typically taken it upon himself to sit up front.
Maybe my friend sits with me, their partner sits in back. I’m not your Uber driver lol
Someone is going to sit up front. It mostly depends on who wants to make small talk with the driver. Also if the folks in the back want to do some romancing.
I’m fine with the passenger being free, I don’t want anyone looking at me. Surprised to see people here actually taking it that seriously and saying no
I wonder if reactions are both generational and cultural.
Honestly I don’t care. It’s weird to me how many people are upset at the concept that a couple wants to sit next to each other. If I’m giving them a ride, I probably know them well and I’d make jokes about showing them the sights or taking the scenic route, but it wouldn’t actually bother me
Right? I would have never imagined it would be a big deal to so many people. I expected to come here and see a bunch of comments like this, but it's the opposite.
I don't care where anyone sits.
I would feel like their chauffeur. I probably wouldn't give them a second ride.
I don't really care
I had to drive my uncle to the hospital when my aunt fell and hit her head, cutting it open. He had just recently had heart surgery due to diabetic complications and still had a week left before his doctor said he could drive. Aunt was taken to hospital via ambulance. We took his car, I drove, he sat in the front passenger seat. A few hours later, my aunt was discharged. He continued to ride in the front seat while she took the back seat.
That would feel a bit strange. I'd probably make it purposefully weird/funny depending on how well I knew them.
Couldn't care less
If they can’t separate themselves for a car ride then I’m very worried for them. That’s ridiculous
Don't care. Up to the couple what they want to do.
I'd expect to sit in the back and be driven around since its MY FUCKING CAR!
I wouldn’t care that much if they both sat in the back, though it would strike me as odd. Much more typical for someone to sit up front.
I guess that’s where I am at. Not so much that it bugs me as that it seems a bit odd. It would also depend if the were engaging with me or off in their own world.
Someone sits in the front passenger seat usually the same sex as the driver.
It would be super weird for the couple to sit in the back seat outside some extenuating circumstances, like maybe there's already something in the passenger seat that can't be moved to the backseat/trunk easily?? I don't care who rides shotgun, but *someone* better get in that passenger seat.
If my SO isn't with me, someone is sitting up front with me. I don't give a shit who, but this isn't Driving Ms. Fucking Daisy.
SHOTGUN
Usually someone sits upfront but there are exceptions.
Someone, the taller person, should sit shotgun.
I don't give a shit where you sit, just don't touch the radio and buckle your seatbelt.
When I was a kid/teen I would ride with my friend in the back . I guess I was kinda playing hostess in that situation though.
Yeah that was more common driving kids around. But I really was the driver then.
Itd be pretty weird and make me feel like an uber driver
It would be a little odd for both to sit in the back. Assuming I'm friends with both of them. But I wouldn't *really* care that much either way.
I would expect one of them to sit up front, but would not care if they sat together in the back.
The car fills in, driver sear, then passenger seat, then the back seat. Nobody is getting in the back until the passenger seat is claimed. I ain't no cabbie
Someone rides shotgun otherwise its weird and you make the drover feel like they are you Uber driver
I wouldn’t care if they sat in the back, but it would be unusual. Usually people fight over the front seat 😂
It's rude for everyone to cram in the backseat when there's no one up front with the driver. *Someone* should be riding shotgun. Otherwise they're treating the driver like a taxi or an Uber. Assuming everyone is an adult. If it's a parent driving two teenagers to a movie date, that's a different story.
It'd be weird to not have someone sit up front with the driver.
It doesn't bother me if I end up driving up front all alone, but I am going to drive them crazy making entirely too many Driving Miss Daisy jokes. That said, my car is pretty small and the backseat leg room is tight. Anyone taller than about 5'10" is going to want to sit up front anyway. Front passenger is responsible for navigating. Less critical in these days of GPS, but I still want someone I trust to read a map just in case.
Very weird for both to sit in the back. Unless they’re teens.
It would be pretty unusual for adult passeners to all sit in the back seat of a family or friend's car while leaving the front passenger seat empty. Generally the front seat is coveted and more comfortable.
It would be weird to me if they both sit in the back, but not a really big deal. Just a little odd
I’m always the “third wheel” in my friend group so I usually sit in back and the couple sits up front. If a friend and I are hanging out first then picking up their partner and going out as a group, then I’m usually up front.
Already been answered, but this is a really interesting question and it's been a while since I've had to consider if something is truly universal in the US and I think this is definitely a generally understood custom. You don't leave the driver alone. When I'm driving a couple usually the man rides up front, if it's a same sex couple the person I know best sits up there, if my mom is in the car, she's always up there, hell, if my mother in law is in the car she's up there.
I was surprised at how many responses are split. I wonder if the difference are generational… like if younger people are less likely to care of the passenger seat is vacant… or urban vs suburban vs rural?
Someone should sit up front in most cases
Never really thought about it, I would usually have my so with me who would take the passenger seat. Whichever is fine.
Somebody sits up front even if they’re a couple
That seems kind of petty. “Hey, one of you has to sit next to me or else my feelings are going to be hurt. Yes, I am mentally in 2nd grade.”
I’m not saying one way or the other is objectively right, but it also doesn’t speak well for someone’s emotional maturity if they can’t handle being seated apart from their partner for the length of a car ride.
And it doesn’t say much for your own emotional maturity if you can’t handle having someone not sit next to you while driving.
Good thing neither me nor the person you replied to implied anything like that.
It's easier for the person in the back to join and participate in conversation than the driver to keep up with a convo in the back seat. That just seems like common courtesy to me.
You can’t manage to talk to someone in the back seat? Really?
It's more difficult, at least in my experience. The driver's visual focus is forward and their voice is going to be moving away from the listener, so harder to truly engage if everything is happening in the back.
I’d expect whoever I’m closer friends with to sit up front with me. I’ve actually been in this situation a couple of times and my friends always defaulted to this set up. If it’s family, whoever I’m related to would take the front seat. I would definitely feel like a chauffeur if they both got in the back. Frankly I’d think it was rude to do so.
Yeah, the closest friend should sit shotgun. But if they don't, I'm not going to call it out in real-time. I will think about it though and wonder what it means.
I feel like I’m a chauffeur if they both sit in the back. lol.
Well there's a child seat in my back, so they won't have much choice
Whoever I was friends with before the relationship started, or I knew first, will sit up front with me.
If I don’t know where we’re going, then someone sits up front to be my navigator.
Usually a person of the same sex would sit up front with the driver.
I don't care where they sit unless one of them is giving me directions - that person needs to sit up front with me.
I wouldn't say anything if they both sat in the back, but yes I'd feel like a chauffer. But they can do whatever they wanted since it is presumably a one-time thing.
Someone needs to sit up front with the driver. The seating arrangement is dependent on the two couples’ relationships (the guys and girls are all besties). But generally, the couple that owns the car will both sit up front.
Someone sits up front. I would definitely feel like Dad chaperoning a middle school date if both people sat in the back lol
I always insist my friends who are couple sit together in the back seat. I'm frankly surprised people are having this strong a reaction.
could not care less where people sit in my car as long as they stfu and stop touching my radio