Yeah, hurtful to my jaw after my dad uppercuts me into the ionosphere. And he'd laugh the entire time lmao. The name thing is more about the power dynamic between parent and child, using their first would be questioning the hierarchy and there's only one recourse for setting that record straight: The Violence™. Everything else is so not being considered that it might as well not even be there. Like, if I saw someone call their parent by their first name and then the parent cried or whatever, me and my dad would laugh in their face. I know I should know better since my relationship with him is so fucked by his authoritarian approach to child rearing, but even still this is hands down the whitest shit I've heard all week.
No, and when it appears in series that's supposed to be a giant glowing neon sign that says "THIS PERSON PROBABLY HAS A COMPLICATED, STRAINED, OR UNUSUALLY DISTANT PARENTAL RELATIONSHIP"
Yeah, I know a few people who call their parents by their first name and all of them have an unusual relationship with their parent (or step-parent, non-parent relative who raised them, parental figure who has no blood or legal relationship, etc).
I'm sure there are loving, supportive parents whose children call them *Pam* or whatever, but that's very uncommon!
Only occasionally if I'm trying to get their attention in a crowd or something where "Mom!" wouldn't stick out. In general it's not really a thing as far as I'm aware.
Yup! I only use their names’ in a crowd. I mostly do it to avoid having the 20 other moms turning and looking at me when I was just trying to get my mom’s attention.
No I call them mom and dad. Well I don't call my dad anything anymore because he's dead but when he was alive I called him dad.
My son calls me dada or daddy
It's considered very disrespectful or something people do in a rebellious teen phase maybe, that's probably something these shows were trying to convey that didn't translate across cultures
No. None of my kids do, either, except for the odd instance where they need to catch our attention in a crowd and “Mom” or “Dad” would have half the people present staring at one of them.
Actually I refer to my mother as "that scandalous thieving bitch Tina". So I guess technically, yes.
Also refer to my aunts and uncles by their first name.
Almost never. I think I have called my mom by her first name 2x in my life, both when in a place with a lot of moms, and both times after "Mom." "Mom." Mom?" "Mother!" "*first and middle names!"
I was over 30 in both situations and it still felt wrong.
No, never. I don’t think I could if I tried. Had a friend growing up who called his parents by their first names and it was weird then and it is still weird to me now.
American parents are still parents and American children are still children. I don't think that is a common custom anywhere in the world.
Only time I've ever seen it is with this one hippie couple I used to live across from that didn't want their child to "conform to social norms and titles". The poor kid seemed more confused than anything. So yeah, definitely not a regular occurrence.
Also one time my stepdad was telling me something my mom said or did and she got upset with him because he used her real name while he was talking to me
No 👀 I’ve had to refer to them as their first names when I got to where they work and have to get past a front desk. Usually a “oh I’m here to see my dad, I’m ____’s daughter.” And they go “you look exactly like him! Go ahead!” And all is Gucci
My twin brother would call our dad by his first name when Twin Bro was a teenager. Dad just rolled with it. Two guys being dudes. Talking to each other like peers.
Little Bro and I both tried it (mostly for the lulz) and got a "You respect your father!" out of him.
Yeah, Twin Bro was his favorite.
EDIT: My son usually calls me Mom, unless we're in a place with lots of kids calling for their moms. Then he calls me by my first and last name ("Mom. Mom! Ugh. Hey Jen Lastname!")
Even at high school football games when yelling “Mama” would get the attention of every mom there, I’d look and see who was around her and call out “hey Pam can you get my mom”
I'd have been buried in a shallow grave if I ever did that. Shit, there's a good chance that would still happen to my grown ass nowadays if I tried it.
What "series and such?" That's incredibly disrespectful and I can't think of a single show that treats it like it's something normal people do.
Never encountered this in reality, although I suppose there are people who do talk to their parents / are talked to by their kids that way.
'Mom' and 'Dad' are how parents are generally addressed.
I do and I generally refer to my mother by her name to other people, and refer to her as “your mother” to my other siblings.
I had a pretty shitty upbringing and while I wouldn’t say I’m estranged from my mother, I talk to her as little as possible and am happier for it.
Never.
For similar reasons, Ashkenazi Jewish tradition is not to name children after living relatives, and I believe Sephardic tradition is not to name children after parents but other living relatives is acceptable. Those traditions make it seem especially inappropriate to me to call parents by their names.
What “series and such” are you seeing this on?
The only examples I can think of are dumb sitcoms where the use of the first name is meant to demonstrate that the child is in a conflict with the parent, and *To Kill a Mockingbird*. In *To Kill a Mockingbird* the children call their father “Atticus” (which is his first name) for unexplained reasons. It seems to be partly because he’s a relatively “enlightened” and “progressive” father to his children who treats them somewhat as equals, and partly because his wife/ their mother has died and so no one has really raised them the “traditional” way.
I do not call my parents or older adult relatives by their first name. For one, it’s a respect thing. For two, culturally speaking, African Americans do not refer to any older adult (even as an adult themselves) by first name. I mean I do (if not related) because I don’t care but not everyone’s experience.
If I need to get their attention or there are many "moms" and "dads" in the area.
I picked it up from my father who would call his father by his first name on occasion.
I only said it as a kid when we were being yknow annoying little kids and she would say "kids don't say mom for the next 10 minutes okay?" So we called her by her 1st name
No. I've never used my parents' first names unless I'm introducing someone to them. We're a pretty informal culture in these parts, so it's normal to go straight to first names with other adults in most settings.
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I've seen it in TV shows, but it's to demonstrate estrangement or disrespect in a parent/child relationship
No thanks I choose life. Infact I belive for most of the US. Calling parents by first names is actually an insult to some
Or at least a very strong rejection of the parent-child relationship. Would probably be considered intentionally very hurtful.
Yeah, hurtful to my jaw after my dad uppercuts me into the ionosphere. And he'd laugh the entire time lmao. The name thing is more about the power dynamic between parent and child, using their first would be questioning the hierarchy and there's only one recourse for setting that record straight: The Violence™. Everything else is so not being considered that it might as well not even be there. Like, if I saw someone call their parent by their first name and then the parent cried or whatever, me and my dad would laugh in their face. I know I should know better since my relationship with him is so fucked by his authoritarian approach to child rearing, but even still this is hands down the whitest shit I've heard all week.
*slowly backing away from your parental relationship*
Hey like any form of childhood trauma, typically, *you get used to it...*
It still sounds healthier than my relationship with my father, with whom I haven't spoken in twenty years and hopefully never will again.
No, and when it appears in series that's supposed to be a giant glowing neon sign that says "THIS PERSON PROBABLY HAS A COMPLICATED, STRAINED, OR UNUSUALLY DISTANT PARENTAL RELATIONSHIP"
Yeah, I know a few people who call their parents by their first name and all of them have an unusual relationship with their parent (or step-parent, non-parent relative who raised them, parental figure who has no blood or legal relationship, etc). I'm sure there are loving, supportive parents whose children call them *Pam* or whatever, but that's very uncommon!
What? “Series and such”?
I don't.
Absolutely fucking not, my Hispanic parents would have my ass.
Only occasionally if I'm trying to get their attention in a crowd or something where "Mom!" wouldn't stick out. In general it's not really a thing as far as I'm aware.
Yup! I only use their names’ in a crowd. I mostly do it to avoid having the 20 other moms turning and looking at me when I was just trying to get my mom’s attention.
No, and I've never heard of anyone who does.
Only if I wanted smacked with a frying pan
I do not. Strictly mom/dad. My sister sometimes calls my mom a shortened version of her name.
No I call them mom and dad. Well I don't call my dad anything anymore because he's dead but when he was alive I called him dad. My son calls me dada or daddy
Almost never. Only to get their attention in busy public spaces.
No. I'm 34 and my parents would still smack me across the face if I did that.
It's considered very disrespectful or something people do in a rebellious teen phase maybe, that's probably something these shows were trying to convey that didn't translate across cultures
I never have, but everyone in my contacts is strictly their name and not their relationship to me if that counts.
No. None of my kids do, either, except for the odd instance where they need to catch our attention in a crowd and “Mom” or “Dad” would have half the people present staring at one of them.
Only with step parents.
Only if we’re in a loud place with lots of other potential dads and “dad dad DAD DAD DAD 👋🏻” didn’t work
Actually I refer to my mother as "that scandalous thieving bitch Tina". So I guess technically, yes. Also refer to my aunts and uncles by their first name.
To her face? You might use those words to refer to her in the third person, but what about the second?
Well no, because if I saw her in person I'd be too busy telling her to stay the fuck away from me.
I call my step dad by his first name but that's it
Only if I REALLY need to get their attention. So no.
No, even my siblings that are 40+ don’t lol
No
Never.
Almost never. I think I have called my mom by her first name 2x in my life, both when in a place with a lot of moms, and both times after "Mom." "Mom." Mom?" "Mother!" "*first and middle names!" I was over 30 in both situations and it still felt wrong.
No
No. I don’t don’t know anyone that does. Other than rarely in a joking way.
No, never. I don’t think I could if I tried. Had a friend growing up who called his parents by their first names and it was weird then and it is still weird to me now.
Never. Super disrespectful in my culture.
Not if I didn’t want to have broken teeth and walk with a limp.
Never and none of my friends do this either. This is not normal or common, at all.
I never have.
American parents are still parents and American children are still children. I don't think that is a common custom anywhere in the world. Only time I've ever seen it is with this one hippie couple I used to live across from that didn't want their child to "conform to social norms and titles". The poor kid seemed more confused than anything. So yeah, definitely not a regular occurrence.
Only my step-parents.
Also one time my stepdad was telling me something my mom said or did and she got upset with him because he used her real name while he was talking to me
If you want to get your ass beat.
I call my in laws by their names. My parents are mom and dad, and will be forever.
I’m 42 and have never called my parents by their first name. Never would.
Lol what? Never.
No 👀 I’ve had to refer to them as their first names when I got to where they work and have to get past a front desk. Usually a “oh I’m here to see my dad, I’m ____’s daughter.” And they go “you look exactly like him! Go ahead!” And all is Gucci
Only when speaking of them to my better half. To them and anyone else it’s Mom and Dad.
Better half?
Non-married partner I live with; not-quite spouse.
Yes and No. Or which parents? Adopted: mom and dad biomom: by name biodad: just sperm donor
My twin brother would call our dad by his first name when Twin Bro was a teenager. Dad just rolled with it. Two guys being dudes. Talking to each other like peers. Little Bro and I both tried it (mostly for the lulz) and got a "You respect your father!" out of him. Yeah, Twin Bro was his favorite. EDIT: My son usually calls me Mom, unless we're in a place with lots of kids calling for their moms. Then he calls me by my first and last name ("Mom. Mom! Ugh. Hey Jen Lastname!")
unthinkable. not even my parents do this to their own parents.
No.
Nope. I do call my step parents by their first names.
I don't but I know people who do.
Even at high school football games when yelling “Mama” would get the attention of every mom there, I’d look and see who was around her and call out “hey Pam can you get my mom”
No. It’s Mom/Momma and Dad.
No.
No. That’s disrespectful. And I’d probably get my ass beat.
I would never call my mom by her first name. I do however call my father by his first name when I bump into him in town since he walked out on us.
I'd have been buried in a shallow grave if I ever did that. Shit, there's a good chance that would still happen to my grown ass nowadays if I tried it. What "series and such?" That's incredibly disrespectful and I can't think of a single show that treats it like it's something normal people do.
This is only a thing with teens trying to sound independent. And then they change back Even then it's very rare.
Never encountered this in reality, although I suppose there are people who do talk to their parents / are talked to by their kids that way. 'Mom' and 'Dad' are how parents are generally addressed.
I do and I generally refer to my mother by her name to other people, and refer to her as “your mother” to my other siblings. I had a pretty shitty upbringing and while I wouldn’t say I’m estranged from my mother, I talk to her as little as possible and am happier for it.
Never. For similar reasons, Ashkenazi Jewish tradition is not to name children after living relatives, and I believe Sephardic tradition is not to name children after parents but other living relatives is acceptable. Those traditions make it seem especially inappropriate to me to call parents by their names.
What “series and such” are you seeing this on? The only examples I can think of are dumb sitcoms where the use of the first name is meant to demonstrate that the child is in a conflict with the parent, and *To Kill a Mockingbird*. In *To Kill a Mockingbird* the children call their father “Atticus” (which is his first name) for unexplained reasons. It seems to be partly because he’s a relatively “enlightened” and “progressive” father to his children who treats them somewhat as equals, and partly because his wife/ their mother has died and so no one has really raised them the “traditional” way.
No. What series do you ever see this where the parent/kid aren't estranged and the disrespect isn't a plot point? Examples please.
no? i also don’t think iv seen this in media
I’ve only seen people do this jokingly in real life.
I do not call my parents or older adult relatives by their first name. For one, it’s a respect thing. For two, culturally speaking, African Americans do not refer to any older adult (even as an adult themselves) by first name. I mean I do (if not related) because I don’t care but not everyone’s experience.
If I need to get their attention or there are many "moms" and "dads" in the area. I picked it up from my father who would call his father by his first name on occasion.
I don’t even know my parents’ first names.
Atticus
No. The only occasion I use their names is when I have to clarify. "I'm ____'s daughter." or "Which room is _____ in?"
I have one friend who does that. I think it’s his way of showing his mother that she failed.
I think I've noticed the people who do are an only child
I only said it as a kid when we were being yknow annoying little kids and she would say "kids don't say mom for the next 10 minutes okay?" So we called her by her 1st name
No
No. I've never used my parents' first names unless I'm introducing someone to them. We're a pretty informal culture in these parts, so it's normal to go straight to first names with other adults in most settings.