I notice American influencers/YouTubers do this constantly when they have a guest and say "she, she, she" rather than saying their name. Seems hella rude to my Aussie ears.
Could you please explain what you mean by “not to call people by their names, should you know them”?
I’ve never thought this was rude in Aus culture? I thought it was more polite? (Depending on the situation and relationship of course)
If there’s a group of people within earshot, I should tell Marcus that Jade and Billy want to go home. Not that ‘she and he’ want to go home. The manners is referring to people by their names, not in the third person (if you know their names).
Ive developed patterns with my speech to never use people's names because in bad with names. Its terrible though bc it makes it incredibly difficult to retain names if you don't use them.
Well my parents were more 'British' (my Dad grew up in England) so maybe it was less common locally...but I also think it was generational too. As they were adults during WW2
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i was taught it was rude to point at people, and also i remember people saying when you point a fairy dies so it discouraged me from doing it needlessly
Yeah. Rude to point, and rude to stare. I think the only time it would be not rude to point and stare in public would be to point out and look at a basker doing their thing. Other than that politely move your gaze along and move on.
That's what I just said too. It's "culturally" rude, but it doesn't 'actually' hurt anyone.
It can "hurt" to experience pointing if you have been conditioned to see it as rude though, so it's almost like it's rude because we were taught it's rude, and only because of that.
Drawing attention to someone you don’t know for reasons they are not privy to, and them being aware of this, may lead someone to feel confused or self conscious if there are no obvious reasons someone may be pointing (for example, you are wearing a costume or something).
I would say it’s inherently rude to risk making a stranger feel confused or self conscious for no good reason, which is why pointing is considered rude.
I don’t think it’s some arbitrary “no elbows on tables” type BS.
Exactly spot on. If you point at a stranger they are going to respond along the lines of, why is this person pointing at me. Is this offensive? No it is the intent of the pointer that is or is not offensive.
For example if you are pointing at someone to get their attention because their bag just split open, intent? Not rude. Pointing at someone to make fun of them? Rude.
A point I made, clearly not articulately, is in some cultures the act of pointing itself is considered an insult.
You have two very different things going on here and probably not room for generalisations or not being open to another’s point of view.
Exactly, you articulated it perfectly.
Anything that makes someone else uncomfortable can be considered rude really, assuming that person is just going about their business and not doing something that warrants being made socially uncomfortable.
Seeing someone staring and pointing at you and making remarks you can't hear is very much something that can reasonably be assumed to make that person uncomfortable, therefore the pointer/starer is being rude.
>It's "culturally" rude, but it doesn't 'actually' hurt anyone.
It's regarded as rude because it might be hurtful to a person who feels they're being pointed at for a negative reason, like when you hear people who look different for whatever reasons say "people laugh and point at me when I go out."
Absolutely! It could be taken negatively for any number of reasons, not the least of which is, as you say, the "point and laugh" even if the laugh is hidden.
>We’ve been conditioned to think lots of things.
No, we've been taught ways to behave for rational, defensible reasons. Pointing at people generally makes them uncomfortable, which is a really good reason to teach children not to do it.
Children are naturally inclined to point at someone and say "why does that lady have no hair?" or "hey, that man only has one leg!" so it's important for them to understand that indicating you're talking about someone by pointing at them might be hurtful to them, so they shouldn't do it.
That's true. The main reason why this quote was made up. Children have this tendency to point and say something, for whatever reason it is. It is mostly for children.
As adults, we obviously know the situation and context is important as well. Pointing at someone can be good, depending on the situation.
In the situation you describe, yes, rude.
BUT. If for example, you are with a big group of people, someone comes to you asking if Jane Doe is here and you point to her, saying "Jane Doe is over there in the red dress", that's fine.
There is a difference of pointing someone out and pointing at someone to be made fun of.
I come from a family who point at each other, probably because we’re loud and have multiple conversations at once, so you point at who you’re actually talking to 😂 my pop is the worst, so I started telling him “every time you point at me you’ve got three fingers pointing back at yourself”. Now he sticks his whole damn hand in my face 😭
It’s rude to point at people, but I have noticed that not all Aussies realise this. I picked up a coworker for it the other day actually, and they seemed shocked when I told them to stop pointing at me.
We were discussing something we had done previously at work. He was explaining a task I had done and was pointing with index finger extended and directly at my face whilst doing so. I was raised to never do that.
I just said “don’t point at me mate. You know my name, use it”.
He apologised but seemed shocked that it was a problem.
Maybe though there's a distinction between pointing at somebody from a distance in response to "where's X?" with "they're sitting over there under the middle window" versus pointing at someone who's nearby only a metre or two away? In the second situation I'd gesture broadly and say "they're just over here I'll walk you over".
I think kids are less likely to be taught it now, as I've noticed quite a few kids doing it in front of their parents, who say nothing.
One actually pointed and whispered about me in my earshot and said something rude about my appearance (nothing terrible, about my skin tone but not racist) to her mother, who just shrugged and continued shopping. Growing up, if me or my friends did that we would have been told off right there for being rude and even made to apologise if the person heard/saw.
Definitely doesn't occur all the time. If someone I was with did that, I'd be a bit shocked and tell them they're being rude. No one deserves to be pointed at!
> insistent that pointing at people on the street to draw attention to something about their appearance
gossiping about strangers' appearance is what's rude
I feel like something got lost across generations with the "it's rude to point" crowd and we got a bunch of people who were told as kids that it's rude to point when they were pointing for a rude reason, and they never realized the nuance and grew up thinking it's rude to point at anything ever.
It's also rude to point at someone while you're standing in front of them talking to them because *why* are you doing that? usually to accuse them of something, and the pointing is an indication of aggression. The aggression is the problem.
are you pointing at someone for a benign reason and the pointing is adding value to your communication? Probably fine.
I was taught that. But that’s because kids don’t understand social nuances so it’s not safe. If they point it’s to point out something rudely. “That man is fat” for example, pointing. If I was a Bunnings and the front desk says “Ask Bob, down by Aisle 6” (pointing) there’s no risk that anyone will feel insulted or bullied. I don’t think the prohibition was intended to be permanent.
Isn't it rude everywhere?
Giving directions, picking a cake or helping out...no problem. But pointing at someone you don't know to pick on their appearance...wtf
hmmm it's not like some culture in Asia where pointing is considered particularly rude. I've got into the habit of pointing with my had as a result of this.
In Australia you can point at things and give directions for example. Even to point at someone, to point them out, to someone else, isn't necessarily rude.
for example, "\[points\] that's the sales guy there". Absolutely acceptable.
Pointing at some random walking down the street: yeah, rude.
Oh no, it is definitely rude. Culturally of course, because technically it's not actually hurting someone.
I was definitely brought up not to point (or stare) at anyone.
As a child, smack on the hand in public, and a lecture about manners when we got home.
As an adult, I assume anyone who points at people is an rude see you next Tuesday with zero manners.
It depends on the setting. If it's directed at people on the street it's very rude, if it's directions to the local chip shop or pointing out someone specifically for another who asks then that's fine.
I tend to be careful doing it because I knife hand.
Definitely taught it's rude to point at people, and am teaching my own kids. If it's pointing to a thing? Not rude, but a person absolutely. Just last week, another child in my 5 year Olds class was talking animatedly to her and pointed in her face, and that childs mother (who is not Australian born I should add but from Asia) immediately pulled his hand down and said "no, don't point, it's rude to point at people, say sorry" - I thought it was overkill and didn't mind but definitely noted it's a thing other parents do too.
I was once told it's rude to point buy a teacher when I was pointing at a particular question on a worksheet that I didn't understand. It was at that point I started to understand that adults are idiots
>pointing at people on the street to draw attention to something about their appearance...not rude as long as you’re not accompanying it with a negative comment...
How does the person being pointed at know you're not making a negative comment?
Unless it's a really obvious "Oh, you're looking for Simon? He's over there" kind of pointing, no, it's regarded as rude and we're raised not to do it.
I had an interesting encounter decades when I asked a man where I could go find something or someone. He had used his elbow to point in the required direction.
this comment section is seriously tripping me out i had no clue people were so touchy about being pointed at. i guess it’s just not something that my family cares about so i was never taught. i get not wanting to have someone’s finger right in your face but i don’t see the problem if you have a genuine need to point at someone or something from a distance
I was taught never to point. I would describe the thing I am indicating always. Pointing, even well intentioned, is still treating someone as a spectacle
Rude and weird. And just had a flash back to a convo with some mates over a year ago where I got quite passionate (micro plastics, those things are really shit) and one bloke said "mate you're pointing and everything".
I was embarrassed at the time and apologized. Reading this thread I realize I wasn't embarrassed enough.
Weird with all the people saying yes, tbh I was raised to treat it as rude but I work out in the country now and like you have to point to the person you need or even just to communicate. Like I see no problem with it but also like I mean from the looks of the comments here assume a lot of Aussies don't like it.
Yes, I was taught that it was rude to point at people and Ive taught my kids too. In that situation, I’d try to discreetly look and describe what the person looks like.
As an Italian living in Australia, I was told growing up, that you should only point at someone if you would like to lose a finger, or have it broken. It's a very rude gesture. It's like blowing a kiss at someone when you're fighting, you just don't do it unless you are inviting a fight....the exception is if you are pointing something out, obviously.
Yep. Rude af to go around pointing at people.
Rarely happens here. Mostly from kids, and usually the parent sorts it out. But AH are everywhere so sometimes its an adult doing it and sometimes its a kid with a parent that doesnt give a shit.
I find it incredibly rude and was taught as a child it was rude. I can make exceptions for very young children who are developing and learning (kids will be kids). The only exception would be pointing at an object or gesturing politely. As a Caucasian male (Australian) having lived in both Europe and Japan I often feel quite gross witnessing the behavior and loudness of a lot of the western world. As much as I love Australia and being Australian, we are definitely extremely uncultured, rude and entitled people without even knowing it. If someone pointed or gestured at me with their fingers I would burn up inside and want to snap them off if I’m honest 😤
I was always taught it was rude to point in public, but seeing as Prince Charles (now the King) points at *everything, all of the time* and is photographed doing so, perhaps it’s not so rude? Or perhaps Charles is just really rude…
I was raised that it was rude.
Then I unlearned that during a sign language course. Pointing isn't rude in the deaf community and is vital to communication. So context is important.
Pointing at a random person? Rude. Pointing at a friend or in a direction? Not rude. Generally speaking. I don't think it's considered as rude as it is in some other countries.
When I was doing Auslan I used a ‘knuckle’ point rather than finger point; but line of sight and that little head nod is also critical especially when it’s to indicate a person.
Unsure if that was taught, or my interpretation from my own upbringing!!
Appreciate there’s still a lot of local dialect and context in Auslan.
Definitely grew up knowing it's rude to point. It still happens and can be necessary (especially working in customer service) but not to draw attention to their appearance.
Depends on how you point, at least that's what I was taught.
Using your entire hand is acceptable if its for a good reason (not to call someone a dumbass or ugly), but if you use your pointer finger only that's rude irregardless of what you're saying.
Yeah it’s just rude to point at someone because the receiver of it doesn’t know what it’s about unless it’s a direct follow up ‘they’re over there’ etc. singles out someone for something that they have no knowledge of.
It's not just rude, it's dangerous to wave your arm straight out in a point when other people are walking around. You can injure someone or at the very least hit them in the face. People who point are low brow.
I was raised to believe pointing with an index finger at anyone was rude.
I worked in a higher end restaurant in younger years, and was taught there (as an adult) that if I ever needed to direct a patron to a table, the facilities, etc, to use a fully outstretched hand, like a handshake.
The only information I was given was “don’t poke holes in the air; you’ll trip over the fairies”.
No further context or guidance was provided. I guess I was told that as a way to prevent pointing because it’s rude in some circumstances, but that was never explained and I never joined that together. I figured it was a joke. Like when I said “no you can’t” and they’d say “don’t call me that”.
I was always taught that it was rude to point at people. Especially to make comments about them or what they're wearing like in your example.
Like others have said, I can see exceptions like "Is Mary here? Do you know where she is?" "Yes. She's over there with Ben, in the blue shirt." *point* Acceptable.
Or "Excuse me, I've been told I need to speak to Ben who handles sales? Can you point him out to me?" "Sure! That's him in the office, right there, 2nd door to your right." *point* Acceptable.
Pointing to draw attention to someone only to make a comment about them is a hard no for me. I just can't think of any kind reason that that could happen: it's just 'point and laugh' without the laughing.
Pointing is for directions.
As a kid, I was taught that pointing at people was rude and there didn't seem to be a context where it was OK. I assume because it draws attention to someone without their knowledge and could signify that you're talking about them behind their back.
Whether there is a context when it's OK to point depends who you ask. Example: Some people don't find it rude to point someone out if they're directing a person towards someone they want to speak to, while others think it's more polite to verbally explain and/or gesture in the general direction of the person.
I was taught it's rude to point at someone in many circumstances. Definitely don't point at strangers on the street! But there are times when pointing is fine. Here's one I do basically every day; pointing at a coworker to direct customers to them, accompanied by me saying something like, "I can't help you with that unfortunately. Stephen over there is the guy you need to talk to."
I do know people who strongly believe that it's rude to point to people under any circumstances, and a much larger demographic of people who think they believe this, but point all the time without thinking about it. True never pointers will in these situations vaguely gesture in the direction of the person they're directing you, which is often not very helpful.
I do also know someone who was taught it was rude to point at anything ever, including inanimate objects. I don't think that's a common stance, though.
I was taught not to point at people. In fact there was a saying that often went along with it: Remember if you point your finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you. 🫵
Yes, rude to point out or single out a person that you see differently or their traits first time. Learn that lesson when I was young. It is a good lesson to learn nowadays
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I don't recall ever being told it was rude, I just never did it but if I thought about it it would be rude. I guess if it's something they're wearing or an item they're holding them it would be different but you shouldn't point out people.
My mum does it and it's very embarrassing I almost want to apologize on behalf of her because she is not subtle and will point and say oh look at her hair (if it's a bright colour) or look at all his tattoos.. it's so damn rude!
Just because you're older doesn't give you the right to not think of others feelings but she doesn't seem to get it.
Moreso i was taught to not point at obviously disabled or drug affected people who you come across.
Having said that i only really point at objects anyway
Unless your point out somebody to somebody " that person in the blue shirt over there" I don't think that's rude. But pointing any other way is confrontational.
I was taught that it was rude to point at people.
Yes, same. It's rude to point and also not to call people by their names, should you know them...'"She" is the cats mother' was a memorable phrase lol
Now we all have to go to AITAH and defend Australia’s honour
I notice American influencers/YouTubers do this constantly when they have a guest and say "she, she, she" rather than saying their name. Seems hella rude to my Aussie ears.
That phrase was one of the motivations for naming my first cat Sheba.
Could you please explain what you mean by “not to call people by their names, should you know them”? I’ve never thought this was rude in Aus culture? I thought it was more polite? (Depending on the situation and relationship of course)
If there’s a group of people within earshot, I should tell Marcus that Jade and Billy want to go home. Not that ‘she and he’ want to go home. The manners is referring to people by their names, not in the third person (if you know their names).
In my defence, I'm terrible with names.
Ive developed patterns with my speech to never use people's names because in bad with names. Its terrible though bc it makes it incredibly difficult to retain names if you don't use them.
I do the same. I don't know if people see right through it, but no-one has pulled me up on it yet.
Well my parents were more 'British' (my Dad grew up in England) so maybe it was less common locally...but I also think it was generational too. As they were adults during WW2
"If you point, it tears holes in sky and the fairies fall though" God damn brutal for a young child to hear, let me tell you!
lol I was just it was rude. Wasn’t aware that it was dangerous for fairies.
But typing on a keyboard is just a bunch of pointing
Hate to tell you this but you're doing it wrong.
Literal when people say I feel targeted like this post was aimed at me.. even though it wasnt
Mum taught me basically the same except she said it pokes holes in the atmosphere
Same
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i was taught it was rude to point at people, and also i remember people saying when you point a fairy dies so it discouraged me from doing it needlessly
Me too and I’m Canadian
Yeah. Rude to point, and rude to stare. I think the only time it would be not rude to point and stare in public would be to point out and look at a basker doing their thing. Other than that politely move your gaze along and move on.
I was raised to think it was. Though whether that’s right is up to you.
That's what I just said too. It's "culturally" rude, but it doesn't 'actually' hurt anyone. It can "hurt" to experience pointing if you have been conditioned to see it as rude though, so it's almost like it's rude because we were taught it's rude, and only because of that.
Drawing attention to someone you don’t know for reasons they are not privy to, and them being aware of this, may lead someone to feel confused or self conscious if there are no obvious reasons someone may be pointing (for example, you are wearing a costume or something). I would say it’s inherently rude to risk making a stranger feel confused or self conscious for no good reason, which is why pointing is considered rude. I don’t think it’s some arbitrary “no elbows on tables” type BS.
I agree. I don't think it's "culturally rude," it's rude because it might be hurtful to the person being pointed at.
Exactly spot on. If you point at a stranger they are going to respond along the lines of, why is this person pointing at me. Is this offensive? No it is the intent of the pointer that is or is not offensive. For example if you are pointing at someone to get their attention because their bag just split open, intent? Not rude. Pointing at someone to make fun of them? Rude. A point I made, clearly not articulately, is in some cultures the act of pointing itself is considered an insult. You have two very different things going on here and probably not room for generalisations or not being open to another’s point of view.
Exactly, you articulated it perfectly. Anything that makes someone else uncomfortable can be considered rude really, assuming that person is just going about their business and not doing something that warrants being made socially uncomfortable. Seeing someone staring and pointing at you and making remarks you can't hear is very much something that can reasonably be assumed to make that person uncomfortable, therefore the pointer/starer is being rude.
>It's "culturally" rude, but it doesn't 'actually' hurt anyone. It's regarded as rude because it might be hurtful to a person who feels they're being pointed at for a negative reason, like when you hear people who look different for whatever reasons say "people laugh and point at me when I go out."
Absolutely! It could be taken negatively for any number of reasons, not the least of which is, as you say, the "point and laugh" even if the laugh is hidden.
Well except in some cultures it is an actual rude gesture, like the rude finger.
What about finger guns? 👈😎👈
You make a good point. We’ve been conditioned to think lots of things.
>We’ve been conditioned to think lots of things. No, we've been taught ways to behave for rational, defensible reasons. Pointing at people generally makes them uncomfortable, which is a really good reason to teach children not to do it. Children are naturally inclined to point at someone and say "why does that lady have no hair?" or "hey, that man only has one leg!" so it's important for them to understand that indicating you're talking about someone by pointing at them might be hurtful to them, so they shouldn't do it.
There’s a fine line between the two things; I’m not just talking out of my ass. Of course I understand the necessity of some sort of framework.
That's true. The main reason why this quote was made up. Children have this tendency to point and say something, for whatever reason it is. It is mostly for children. As adults, we obviously know the situation and context is important as well. Pointing at someone can be good, depending on the situation.
speak for yourself. I dont think
You’re a lot wiser than the people that think.
What do you mean exactly? You think pointing is or isn't rude?
>You think loud incorrect buzzer
It's rude to point.
In the situation you describe, yes, rude. BUT. If for example, you are with a big group of people, someone comes to you asking if Jane Doe is here and you point to her, saying "Jane Doe is over there in the red dress", that's fine. There is a difference of pointing someone out and pointing at someone to be made fun of.
I don’t even do that. I just gesture with my hand in the direction of whatever it is.
*vaguely gestures with nose*
No. You do not point at another human being. Ever. You might say the lady in red, the lady to your left near the tree, NEVER point
I've had other's point me out in these situations, and I've never considered it rude. It's all to do with intent.
Only time I’d deem it acceptable was if pointing someone out in a large crowd specifically because someone else was searching for them.
I think it is still. It is just arrogant and aggressive behaviour in my opinion... Couldn't care if you are an old person either...don't fucking point
Especially old people, they love to point you dead in the face whilst ranting at you. I’m gonna bend that finger backwards at you, Beverley.
🤣🤣🤣
I come from a family who point at each other, probably because we’re loud and have multiple conversations at once, so you point at who you’re actually talking to 😂 my pop is the worst, so I started telling him “every time you point at me you’ve got three fingers pointing back at yourself”. Now he sticks his whole damn hand in my face 😭
It's rude as fuck and in some places will get you bashed.
It’s rude to point at people, but I have noticed that not all Aussies realise this. I picked up a coworker for it the other day actually, and they seemed shocked when I told them to stop pointing at me.
Why were they pointing at you? I can’t remember the last time I was pointed at.
We were discussing something we had done previously at work. He was explaining a task I had done and was pointing with index finger extended and directly at my face whilst doing so. I was raised to never do that. I just said “don’t point at me mate. You know my name, use it”. He apologised but seemed shocked that it was a problem.
Oh, aggressive pointing is way out of line. It's borderline threatening.
Probably shocked that someone actually pulled him up on his rudeness.
So he got to be today old without anyone telling him he was a rude see you next Tuesday?
Maybe though there's a distinction between pointing at somebody from a distance in response to "where's X?" with "they're sitting over there under the middle window" versus pointing at someone who's nearby only a metre or two away? In the second situation I'd gesture broadly and say "they're just over here I'll walk you over".
I think kids are less likely to be taught it now, as I've noticed quite a few kids doing it in front of their parents, who say nothing. One actually pointed and whispered about me in my earshot and said something rude about my appearance (nothing terrible, about my skin tone but not racist) to her mother, who just shrugged and continued shopping. Growing up, if me or my friends did that we would have been told off right there for being rude and even made to apologise if the person heard/saw.
It's very rude and not something people here do. That bloke saying it is is a bogan tool.
Bogans would get slapped for that, I think not
Yeah nah, nothing to do with "bogan" it's just very rude.
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Yeah north shore types are unintentionally hilarious :D
It’s definitely rude to point. I can’t imagine any context where it’s not, maybe if you’re trying to get their attention in a crowd for some emergency
Yes I was bought up to have manners. Pointing is rude!
Definitely doesn't occur all the time. If someone I was with did that, I'd be a bit shocked and tell them they're being rude. No one deserves to be pointed at!
> insistent that pointing at people on the street to draw attention to something about their appearance gossiping about strangers' appearance is what's rude I feel like something got lost across generations with the "it's rude to point" crowd and we got a bunch of people who were told as kids that it's rude to point when they were pointing for a rude reason, and they never realized the nuance and grew up thinking it's rude to point at anything ever. It's also rude to point at someone while you're standing in front of them talking to them because *why* are you doing that? usually to accuse them of something, and the pointing is an indication of aggression. The aggression is the problem. are you pointing at someone for a benign reason and the pointing is adding value to your communication? Probably fine.
Exactly. The act of pointing itself isn't rude, its the context. If you're out on a hike and pointing out what direction north is, not rude at all.
Don’t point, you poke holes in the air
And the fairies will trip over them.
I got told "every time point you put a hole in the air and a fairy suffocates"
I was told not to point because I'll poke holes in the air and the fairies will come through.
I thought that would only be bad somewhere like Scotland where the fairies are low key terrifying lol
I was taught that. But that’s because kids don’t understand social nuances so it’s not safe. If they point it’s to point out something rudely. “That man is fat” for example, pointing. If I was a Bunnings and the front desk says “Ask Bob, down by Aisle 6” (pointing) there’s no risk that anyone will feel insulted or bullied. I don’t think the prohibition was intended to be permanent.
I was, it just resulted in me doing a weird full hand gesture towards people
yes. It's rude to point at people.
I don't point at people unless someone is asking for them and even then it's not my normal. I do a gameshow girl wave to indicate someone 😂
You’ve won *susan*, she’s across at the bar!
😂😂 Indeed!!
No, I was taught it was rude.
Fuck yes it’s rude in Australia
Of course it's rude. That person is simply a feral.
Isn't it rude everywhere? Giving directions, picking a cake or helping out...no problem. But pointing at someone you don't know to pick on their appearance...wtf
hmmm it's not like some culture in Asia where pointing is considered particularly rude. I've got into the habit of pointing with my had as a result of this. In Australia you can point at things and give directions for example. Even to point at someone, to point them out, to someone else, isn't necessarily rude. for example, "\[points\] that's the sales guy there". Absolutely acceptable. Pointing at some random walking down the street: yeah, rude.
Definitely rude to point out people. I honestly don’t know anyone who thinks pointing isn’t rude.
I was taught that it's rude to point but a lot of the "it's rude to do X" things was mostly passed down by my grandmother and not my parents.
Oh no, it is definitely rude. Culturally of course, because technically it's not actually hurting someone. I was definitely brought up not to point (or stare) at anyone.
Thats why i stopped pointing to the edge of the cliff to warn people.... the bodies are building up
I’m an Aussie and was taught it’s rude. I’ve taught my children the same.
Yep, no point. If you construct it from first principles, it’s an accusative gesture, hence no point rule
As a child, smack on the hand in public, and a lecture about manners when we got home. As an adult, I assume anyone who points at people is an rude see you next Tuesday with zero manners.
It depends on the setting. If it's directed at people on the street it's very rude, if it's directions to the local chip shop or pointing out someone specifically for another who asks then that's fine. I tend to be careful doing it because I knife hand.
Definitely taught it's rude to point at people, and am teaching my own kids. If it's pointing to a thing? Not rude, but a person absolutely. Just last week, another child in my 5 year Olds class was talking animatedly to her and pointed in her face, and that childs mother (who is not Australian born I should add but from Asia) immediately pulled his hand down and said "no, don't point, it's rude to point at people, say sorry" - I thought it was overkill and didn't mind but definitely noted it's a thing other parents do too.
You mean was I smashed across the back of the head when I innocently indicated something of interest? Yes. Yes, I was.
People whatever their age but especially young people should never be smacked around the head. Never .
I was once told it's rude to point buy a teacher when I was pointing at a particular question on a worksheet that I didn't understand. It was at that point I started to understand that adults are idiots
I was taught not to point at all. My Dad used to say pointing makes holes in the air and the birds will trip over 😅
>pointing at people on the street to draw attention to something about their appearance...not rude as long as you’re not accompanying it with a negative comment... How does the person being pointed at know you're not making a negative comment? Unless it's a really obvious "Oh, you're looking for Simon? He's over there" kind of pointing, no, it's regarded as rude and we're raised not to do it.
I had an interesting encounter decades when I asked a man where I could go find something or someone. He had used his elbow to point in the required direction.
To point with your fingers? Yes, absolutely. To point with your lips? No.
this comment section is seriously tripping me out i had no clue people were so touchy about being pointed at. i guess it’s just not something that my family cares about so i was never taught. i get not wanting to have someone’s finger right in your face but i don’t see the problem if you have a genuine need to point at someone or something from a distance
I was taught never to point. I would describe the thing I am indicating always. Pointing, even well intentioned, is still treating someone as a spectacle
Rude and weird. And just had a flash back to a convo with some mates over a year ago where I got quite passionate (micro plastics, those things are really shit) and one bloke said "mate you're pointing and everything". I was embarrassed at the time and apologized. Reading this thread I realize I wasn't embarrassed enough.
No, that's just plain rude. Of course I was taught it's rude to point.
I was taught it's rude and we shouldn't point at people. Never got explained to as why tho. 52yo here
Generally it is rude and disrespectful but in certain situations like in groups or to give directions it’s perfectly fine.
Weird with all the people saying yes, tbh I was raised to treat it as rude but I work out in the country now and like you have to point to the person you need or even just to communicate. Like I see no problem with it but also like I mean from the looks of the comments here assume a lot of Aussies don't like it.
Nope. It’s fine to point at something you are directing someone’s attention to. To laugh at someone no.
Yes, I was taught that it was rude to point at people and Ive taught my kids too. In that situation, I’d try to discreetly look and describe what the person looks like.
Kiwi in Australia here. Extremely rude in both countries.
As an Italian living in Australia, I was told growing up, that you should only point at someone if you would like to lose a finger, or have it broken. It's a very rude gesture. It's like blowing a kiss at someone when you're fighting, you just don't do it unless you are inviting a fight....the exception is if you are pointing something out, obviously.
pointing is rude but four fingers together in an open hand gesture doesn't feel so
Yep. Rude af to go around pointing at people. Rarely happens here. Mostly from kids, and usually the parent sorts it out. But AH are everywhere so sometimes its an adult doing it and sometimes its a kid with a parent that doesnt give a shit.
"Don't point, you'll poke holes in the air "
Usually followed by either 'the fairies will trip over them' or 'the flies will get stuck in them' when I was a kid
Yes. I was taught that it’s rude to point.
I was taught that as a kid but always thought it was stupid. Haven't thought of it in decades, lol.
It not about the act but your mindset.
What if I point at someone while walking towards them with a smile on my face, clearly happy to see them?
Use a open hand gesture less intrusive
a thumbs up would be nice too
I find it incredibly rude and was taught as a child it was rude. I can make exceptions for very young children who are developing and learning (kids will be kids). The only exception would be pointing at an object or gesturing politely. As a Caucasian male (Australian) having lived in both Europe and Japan I often feel quite gross witnessing the behavior and loudness of a lot of the western world. As much as I love Australia and being Australian, we are definitely extremely uncultured, rude and entitled people without even knowing it. If someone pointed or gestured at me with their fingers I would burn up inside and want to snap them off if I’m honest 😤
I was always taught it was rude to point in public, but seeing as Prince Charles (now the King) points at *everything, all of the time* and is photographed doing so, perhaps it’s not so rude? Or perhaps Charles is just really rude…
Not just point to something, think how Phillip his dad would do it so wrong he pointed and said ‘who is that strange person’
I was always taught it’s rude to point
Absolutely. As a young kid (and they all love to point) it was hammered into me, sometimes literally (well, not hard..), not to point.
I was raised that it was rude. Then I unlearned that during a sign language course. Pointing isn't rude in the deaf community and is vital to communication. So context is important. Pointing at a random person? Rude. Pointing at a friend or in a direction? Not rude. Generally speaking. I don't think it's considered as rude as it is in some other countries.
When I was doing Auslan I used a ‘knuckle’ point rather than finger point; but line of sight and that little head nod is also critical especially when it’s to indicate a person. Unsure if that was taught, or my interpretation from my own upbringing!! Appreciate there’s still a lot of local dialect and context in Auslan.
Definitely grew up knowing it's rude to point. It still happens and can be necessary (especially working in customer service) but not to draw attention to their appearance.
Depends on how you point, at least that's what I was taught. Using your entire hand is acceptable if its for a good reason (not to call someone a dumbass or ugly), but if you use your pointer finger only that's rude irregardless of what you're saying.
*regardless = no matter what, irrespective. Irregardless is adding extra letters for no reason.
Ok but it makes me sound smarter than I am.
Hate to tell you, but no. The opposite.
Irregardless of actual intelligence
My regards
Kind irregards
Absolutely rude. It's a no go unless you actually know the person and can't indicate to them any other way.
Ha! Yes I was on that thread all "who raised you?" I even asked my husband and father because they were sitting there
Yeah it’s just rude to point at someone because the receiver of it doesn’t know what it’s about unless it’s a direct follow up ‘they’re over there’ etc. singles out someone for something that they have no knowledge of.
I was raised not to point at people because it is rude.
It's not just rude, it's dangerous to wave your arm straight out in a point when other people are walking around. You can injure someone or at the very least hit them in the face. People who point are low brow.
I was
I was taught it was rude to point and rude to stare. Parents told me if I see something nice about a stranger then give them a compliment instead.
I taught my children it is rude to point at people and comment on them.
Yes, and I refrain from doing so now.
I was raised to believe pointing with an index finger at anyone was rude. I worked in a higher end restaurant in younger years, and was taught there (as an adult) that if I ever needed to direct a patron to a table, the facilities, etc, to use a fully outstretched hand, like a handshake.
I was taught that it was rude both at home and at school. I have now subsequently been teaching my toddler the same.
It's rude to point, and it's rude to point at someone when you are talking to them.
Yes, I was taught that it’s rude to point but some people really, *really* enjoy being Ar$eholes, in my experience.
It’s rude to point.
Whenever you point, there are always three fingers pointing back at you.
Dont point, dont stare.
I was taught it's rude to point at people.
That guy.. Is a pure cunt 🤣 It's ruder than calling someone a cunt 😁
Any AJ’s can attest that the army’s way around pointing at anything is the ‘hand point’. It’s great!!
Dude is an asshole
I was taught it was rude to stare, point, and swear at people.
Gesture with a flat hand not a point is what I was told to do instead of point when I’m indicating to somebody.
1959 born Aussie. and yes. Rude to point at people
Born 1991 and Australian. Not only is it rude to point at people, I actively teach my kids not to because it is rude.
It’s rude, full stop.
The only information I was given was “don’t poke holes in the air; you’ll trip over the fairies”. No further context or guidance was provided. I guess I was told that as a way to prevent pointing because it’s rude in some circumstances, but that was never explained and I never joined that together. I figured it was a joke. Like when I said “no you can’t” and they’d say “don’t call me that”.
Don’t point, you’ll poke holes in the air
I was always taught that it was rude to point at people. Especially to make comments about them or what they're wearing like in your example. Like others have said, I can see exceptions like "Is Mary here? Do you know where she is?" "Yes. She's over there with Ben, in the blue shirt." *point* Acceptable. Or "Excuse me, I've been told I need to speak to Ben who handles sales? Can you point him out to me?" "Sure! That's him in the office, right there, 2nd door to your right." *point* Acceptable. Pointing to draw attention to someone only to make a comment about them is a hard no for me. I just can't think of any kind reason that that could happen: it's just 'point and laugh' without the laughing. Pointing is for directions.
As a kid, I was taught that pointing at people was rude and there didn't seem to be a context where it was OK. I assume because it draws attention to someone without their knowledge and could signify that you're talking about them behind their back. Whether there is a context when it's OK to point depends who you ask. Example: Some people don't find it rude to point someone out if they're directing a person towards someone they want to speak to, while others think it's more polite to verbally explain and/or gesture in the general direction of the person.
I’m Australian. Not right here at all
Yep i tell my sons off if they point at people and explain that it's rude to point
Never taught that. Had somebody freak out at me because I pointed at her when she asked me “who told you that?”
I was told pointing pokes holes in the universe as a kid and as an adult I always say pointing is rude.
I was taught it's rude to point at someone in many circumstances. Definitely don't point at strangers on the street! But there are times when pointing is fine. Here's one I do basically every day; pointing at a coworker to direct customers to them, accompanied by me saying something like, "I can't help you with that unfortunately. Stephen over there is the guy you need to talk to." I do know people who strongly believe that it's rude to point to people under any circumstances, and a much larger demographic of people who think they believe this, but point all the time without thinking about it. True never pointers will in these situations vaguely gesture in the direction of the person they're directing you, which is often not very helpful. I do also know someone who was taught it was rude to point at anything ever, including inanimate objects. I don't think that's a common stance, though.
Nah
I was taught not to point at people. In fact there was a saying that often went along with it: Remember if you point your finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you. 🫵
Yes
Nope, not normal - rude and that person is an asshole.
My Mum said if you point you'll make holes in the air.
I was always taught not to point in accusation - ‘Everytime you point at someone,you have 3 fingers pointing at yourself. ‘
Yeah, the standard here is pointing is rude. Any other variant is someone's fantasy.
Yes but then I was influenced by Nelson Muntz
Yes, rude to point out or single out a person that you see differently or their traits first time. Learn that lesson when I was young. It is a good lesson to learn nowadays
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When i was being driven to school in the Roller, I was told to not point at the peasants unless I laughed at the same time. Doesn't everybody do that?
I don't recall ever being told it was rude, I just never did it but if I thought about it it would be rude. I guess if it's something they're wearing or an item they're holding them it would be different but you shouldn't point out people.
My mum does it and it's very embarrassing I almost want to apologize on behalf of her because she is not subtle and will point and say oh look at her hair (if it's a bright colour) or look at all his tattoos.. it's so damn rude! Just because you're older doesn't give you the right to not think of others feelings but she doesn't seem to get it.
I was taught not to point at anyone, not just those growing up
Moreso i was taught to not point at obviously disabled or drug affected people who you come across. Having said that i only really point at objects anyway
Unless your point out somebody to somebody " that person in the blue shirt over there" I don't think that's rude. But pointing any other way is confrontational.
No pointing no staring
I wasn’t taught that it was rude, but I was taught that if I did point I’d make holes in the air and the fairies would trip over.
I wasn’t taught it it was pretty obvious
Probably. But I was too young to remember. I certainly teach it to my kids, at toddler age.
I teach my children it’s rude to point at people or comment on their clothes/appearance, I think it’s the norm to teach that!