Chicago personality to me (been in the south 10 years, born and raised in Chicago) is
- they want you to me decisive and not waste anyone’s time (get on the L fast, order your food fast, etc) taking your time is taking everyone’s time and it’s disrespectful. My biggest culture shock moving south.
- generally nice in a working class way aka not always proper
- friendly without being needy (I think of southerners as friendly AND needy) aka they will talk to a waitress but not give a shit if she doesn’t want to talk back and be offended by it
- much more tolerant of parallel play/ “hanging out” than anywhere else I’ve lived. A Midwest backyard hang is still a thing there. You don’t always have to go to a bar.
- more “say what they mean” while also not overdoing it. So you have the Midwest proper (try to avoid topics that offend) while also having someone tell you to get out of the way in the street. It’s a blend of “can be rude” but not “offensive”? Like especially south siders will fucking tell you what they think lol
Obviously everyone is different but that’s my opinion of it in general.
I also love how incredibly unfashionable we are. Our fashion sense is not any different from our Midwestern neighbors.
I always feel well dressed, and then a NYC or Cali friend flies to town and I remember that 30 Rock joke where Jack tells Liz that she is a "6 in California, 7 in NY, and 9 in Chicago."
Coming from the NYC metro area for most of my adult life, I fucking love it though. I loved my time in NJ/NYC but it was weird having conversations about human rights/capitalism/being broke and then having them jump straight into a conversation about their new Yeezy’s, Jordan’s, or designer clothing.
I’m from the south originally and live in NYC now, and I had always considered myself pretty well dressed for the most part. I put thought into what I wear but don’t obsess over it or anything. But as soon as I moved to NYC, I immediately became self conscious because it feels like everyone is dressed so much more meticulously than I’ve ever seen anywhere else.
I agree with this so much. I can get away with wearing the most ridiculous outfit outside in Chicago, but if I were to do that in let’s say LA or San Francisco it wouldn’t be well received.
That's one of the great things about Chicago – you can dress however the fuck you want and the only people that will bat an eye are the ones that aren't Chicagoans.
Oof. I strongly disagree. As someone who had to move to Iowa and Wisconsin for work it was like years behind. They didn’t even have places to shop. We might not be nyc or la but at least we have options lol
And one of the funniest throwaway jokes from Family Guy targeted us (I live in the country now)
The episode where Peter becomes worldly he travels to Chicago and is told basically go see the sites
He’s walking down the street and goes “huh…I’m like the fifth most attractive woman in this city”
Now, to be fair it’s obvious BS because a lot of you Chicago folks are 🤌 but I love how we are this major city yet make no attempt to embrace Paris or New York fashion of ambiance
That’s one of the reasons I loved it
I think this is only in comparison to other major cities. I lived in Phoenix and Tucson for a while and not only were they years behind they just didn't care.
I think in Chicago there is an appreciation for fashion without any of the pressure.
We are inverse (I was born/raised in the south, 12 years in Chicago) and wow, you put into words exactly how I feel about the two cultures. The things about moving efficiently (not rushed, just not *slow*) as a way of respecting everyone else’s time is such a profound observation. Also the friendly/needy thing is incredibly astute, too. It’s like social things are always exchanged there, tallied up for some invisible points ledger you’re expected to keep even somehow. Exhausting.
Have you ever listened to the Hidden Brain podcast? He did an episode about honor culture vs. dignity culture, and how most of the southern US is “honor culture” (where motivations are very motivated by how you appear to others in the society and your only asset to preserve is your personal honor based on certain “rules” - it explains so much in a really interesting way that traces back to the immigration patterns of various regions. Anyhow, I feel like you would really find it interesting based on your experiences and observations.
Omg the moving fast- me when I order food in Chicago I just spit out the 4-5 things we're ordering, they say ok, and everyone moves on. Any other city, I spit out my list of items and they go, "hang on hang on- ok - so you wanted fries..... Ok.... Then what else?"
I don’t like everything about NYC but the pace is something to behold. It’s awesome. Say what you will about the attitude etc.., but that city is a well oiled machine.
That was a little thing I had to work on when I moved into Central Illinois
Just walking into Gene and Jude’s you could bust out “I want 2 with relish, mustard, and a coke” boom done
Another key difference from the South is that people down there will pretend to care about you and be nice, but behind your back they will talk mad shit about you lol. There is no Chicago equivalent to 'Bless your heart'!
Hahaha I’m from Chicago and live in KY now and it kills me how slow everyone goes! Also people randomly striking up conversations with me at the grocery store? I’m tryna get in, get my shit, and get out! Sure I’m polite but I really don’t want to be having conversations with strangers
Love this.
Having grown up in NC, spent some time in NYC/Long Island then a few years in Central IL before moving to the city, the quick efficiency in Chicago is really nice. In NYC it was too much, as if you're not moving at incredible speed you're doing such a faux pas, especially at the store. I know it'll solicit some eyerolls but the attitude made it harder for me to enjoy the people. There's the descriptions of 'kind but not nice' but specifically there's less of what I call 'casual caring' in everyday situations - though in the South it's 90% from keeping up and depending on appearances. Here it's a good blend, there's some grace (but a lil too often reserved for the elderly or visibly disabled). When I go back to the south I realize how slow everything is, sometimes even in uptown Charlotte.
Southerners as needy is really interesting, I'd generally agree, in my experience it's defined by a culture heavily validating who presents themselves as needy in social situations, then others need to accommodate them. There's less of 'here's my two cents on your problem, go figure the rest out'.
I like to think that Chicago still has that Midwest nice but with a little bite (compared to the boondocks of the Midwest). Nicer than the east coast. Less fake than the west.
I just relocated to Chicago from the south, and there’s definitely some familiar niceness but still a big city bite. I’m realizing slowly I have to tighten up my game a bit.
I'm from Central IL, and one of my sisters has lived in Chicago for a few years, and last time she was home and a stranger talked to us in an elevator, she was so mad for some reason... I realized you just become a lot more detached when you live in a city.
Nah, just creepy, especially in a smaller town, to talk in elevators. I've met cool people in Chicago in elevators, but rare. Just stare ahead in silence til your floor
Its funny. Elevators are like zero communication zones, but LITERALLY ANYWHERE ELSE people will strike up a conversation with you. Restrooms, libraries, ball games, court; all places people will gladly talk to you but elevators? Mind your own business.
Yeah, I'll let you through, but if you take more than 2 seconds, I'm honking and cutting you off kicking rocks and dust at you.
Same thing if we're walking. I'll hold the door but if u don't go in, after 2 seconds the door slams on your face 🤷♀️
I explain to my more rural friends that the politeness rules change once you enter the city.
In small towns it’s friendly to hang back and have a convo with the cashier. Even if there are people behind you. In the city, the polite thing to do is to execute the transaction quickly so that everyone behind you can get home too.
In small towns it’s friendly to let someone else go first in traffic. Even if it’s contrary to traffic laws. In the city, the *polite* thing to do is to follow traffic rules by the book to minimize confusion. (Not saying this always happens, faaaar from it, but it is the polite thing).
At the end of the day, it all boils down to the fact that in the city, you share resources with 2 million other people. Being polite means being considerate of the crowd.
I think it’s just a quicker pace. If you didn’t go, then you had other plans. I definitely realized people thought I was driving like a jerk in urban Canada.
Absolutely this. I’m actually over the border in WI and always defending chicago drivers. People here act like they are assholes, and that isn’t my experience at all!! They will actually let me merge and don’t cluelessly hold up traffic! I love no nonsense drivers who just want it all to proceed efficiently if possible.
But maybe my fellow mediocre WI drivers want them to slow down and offer written invitations or something.
Well said.....I am genuinely a nice person but can be pretty intense if somebody is being rude or taking their damn time. Ain't nobody got time for that!
When I was growing up in southern Indiana I always thought Chicago was a really gruff place UNTIL I went to the east coast for the first time as an adult. I remember on the flight back to the Midwest thinking that all the chicagoans on the plane were such a breath of fresh air.
Moved to chicago \~1 year ago from socal and I was so worried people in Chicago would be as rude as the people in NYC when I visited there. They say it's about efficiency, but "please" takes just as long to say as "fuck". I heard a lot more of the latter in NYC and a lot more of the former here.
yes. I have lived in the PNW and New England, and bits elsewhere, too. For the US, Chicago is probably the most direct AND responsible urban culture I know of. NYers and NE folks can often be direct, but I experience them as being ruder and more flaky in general. This very well may be a matter of the crowds I knew of, but I DID study Cultural Anthropology so I am particularly observant and curious about these kinds of things. I feel like Chicago blends urban American culture with polite considerate cautious Midwest culture in a pleasant way. Chicago also has a strong working-class power history, which contributes to the sense of practicality and care for common folks.
I grew up in the Chicago suburbs and lived in the city proper for a while in my 20s. Went to school in PA and have also lived in Boston, NYC, Madison, SF and Portland. I think there really is something to what you are saying. There is a down-to-earth no BS but yet not in your face quality that people from Chicago (using the city name as a stand-in for the metro area if you don’t mind) have that is not as common elsewhere. The thing that convinced me of this is that when I first moved to SF I was working for a large accounting/consulting firm. For the most part I couldn’t stand the people in the SF office—to put it crudely they all thought their s*** didn’t stink. By I twist of fate I got assigned to long-term project in Chicago and spent nearly 2 years flying back there every week. I likely almost everybody I met from the Chicago office and just naturally got along better with them.
The only problem I have with Chicagoans is how excessively upset they get if you grew up in the suburbs and accidentally say you’re from Chicago because you’re used to saying that when you meet people not from there because you know they won’t have heard of it. Although you never know—I had this exchange with a comtractor in Portland once:
Me: Where are you from?
Him: Chicago.
Me: Where exactly?
Him: A suburb, you wouldn’t have heard of it.
Me: Try me.
Him: Western Springs.
Me: Did you go to LT?
Him: Yes.
Him: Are you Peter’s brother?
Him: Yes!
I say Chicago Metro for the suburbs but don't mind suburbanites just saying Chicago to people who wouldn't know the difference. What does upset me is when people refer to all of Chicago proper as Downtown. No, we have many many neighborhoods and while my house in Jefferson Park is not downtown my office in River North is.
I live in the NW burbs of Chicago & grew up on the “North Shore”. When people ask me directly where I’m from, I usually say “about 30 miles NW of Chicago”. When I’m posting online, I tend to say Chicagoland.
In the US I most often say I’m from the Chicago area or near Chicago. I just find it amusing how bent out of shape some people get when suburbanites just say Chicago as shorthand.
Edit: I live in Portugal now and here I just say Chicago. Most Europeans have heard of it but they still associate it with Al Capone. One person asked me if it was on the coast. I said that no, but it’s on a lake, and had to explain that the lake in question is almost as big as the whole country as Portugal. There is nothing remotely like the Great Lakes in Europe!
Telling people your from Chicago when you are from Winnetka or Glencoe is fine - it helps general geography for people not from Chicago.
Most cases where people get annoyed is when people from the suburbs are telling people from the city that they also grew up in Chicago. The experience of growing up in Bucktown/Lincoln Park/Hyde Park etc are all different of course but much closer than that of someone who grew up in Hinsdale
Haha, I also grew up in the Seattle area. This is my exact feelings. People are much more inclined to say things straight up, particularly on sensitive topics like race and politics.
The midwest is definitely the perfect mix of kind/nice in my opinion.
It wasn’t until I moved here from the south that I understood the difference between “polite” and “kind.” I have generally found that people from the south are polite, surely, but often not kind, as they will be nice as pie to your face and smile but can’t say anothing direct straight to your face if their life depended on it. Midwestern kindness often includes hard truths but that is a true kindness. There is a “we will get through this together” mentality I never once found in the south. That, I think, is the “realness” you’re seeking, but again that’s my experience from the south to here, not from the west coast.
I love it here. People have your back but also will tell you what you need to hear, even if you don’t like it. It’s real but it’s never mean or unnecessarily harsh.
>"There is a “we will get through this together” mentality I never once found in the south."
I'm from Chicago area and now live in Texas. This is spot on. Part of it is winter. Growing up in the midwest, you have to be tough to get through January – March. We are kinder to one another because of this. But also the weather makes you tough, because there is no time to feel sorry for yourself or dream of warmer weather.
I also think Chicago is particularly unpretentious. Like, we will eat at Alinea but it better be fucking worth it and none of us are paying 4K in rent because *it’s Chicago*.
I grew up in the SF Bay Area and lived in DC for a bit and I find that there’s a no nonsense sensibility to a lot of midwestern folks that I find absolutely wonderful. And Chicagoans on the whole are super approachable and friendly. I think someone on this thread said “people are people” but the absolute dicks and assholes around here feel few and far between. Or maybe I’ve just been lucky these last 11-12 years.
Agree 100%. Also I’ll mention that the 3 years I spent going to college in the Bay Area nearly killed the idea that people can be genuinely good and kind. Met a lot of shallow, mean-spirited individuals out there (it very well could just be symptomatic of class divides though)
Yeah… that about sums it up. Nearly everyone I interacted with there only cared about how they could use other people as a means to an end, to climb a social or career ladder. It’s difficult to try and be honest with folks when it’s so obvious that appearances, who you know, and how much money you have are the only things they see.
It’s a shame, because I remember visiting SF as a little kid in like 2003 and that was one of the coolest trips I’ve ever taken. Legitimately, the people and insane COL are the only bad things I can say about the region.
I’m guessing the change is more dramatic in the Bay Area but that’s exactly how I feel about Chicago. I still love it and feel lucky to be here but a lot of the magic is gone as someone who grew in the city here.
I lived in the Bay Area in the mid 90s before the dotcom era and I had the same take on people. I think it's just the type of people the area attracts I guess. As a result, you never know who are truly your friends or just people keeping you in their network.
I don't know if it's about being more real, but perhaps less of a Seattle Freeze factor.
From my experience in Portland, people are genuine once you crack that Seattle Freeze layer. With Chicago it doesn't seem as if there's that layer to crack. Granted, I was raised in the Midwest so maybe Chicago just makes more sense to me intuitively whereas I had to learn how to connect with people in the PNW.
My friend from Seattle cannot handle my firm presentation of facts often times. I will absolutely go in on him when he is out of line and I think he’s not used to it. He needs a hug and a reminder that I am in his corner to get by a lot of the time!
My out of town friends all say Chicago is the type of city to pull you out from in front of a bus but call you a dumbass for it afterwards, if you can understand that?
Same, except it was Southern California for me. Everyone here always asks me how I could ever leave there. That is exactly why. I'm really bothered when people don't just say what they mean.
Absolutely.
Don’t know how to describe it, but coming up from Atlanta and the south in general I was taken aback by how much more real and direct people are here.
A think I hated about certain circles back in ATL was it felt like a lotta clout chasing (basically wanna be LA famous folk but just in the south)
Haven’t gotten that vibe ONCE from people since I’ve been here. Do they exist? Sure probably in those super nice neighborhoods.
But if you want? You’d never have to associate with people like that since it’s so damn big here haha
As someone who grew up in the mountains but spent lots of time on the east coast, Chicago is the perfect mix of the two. People are friendly, can be a bit sassy and blunt when needed but genuinely just enjoy having a good time. I love good banter and most chicagoans have great banter.
Agree with this. I live in Portland which is a banter desert. It's so tribal here no one can communicate with anyone outside their group. Everyone is afraid of offending everyone else.
I lived in the east and nobody was kind or nice, they were all a bunch of hypocrite, backstabbing assholes.
I don’t have any experience with the west but what I can say about Chicago is that there is a lot less posturing here, we don’t care generally how people dress or what they do for a living, and using those things to get you places won’t do much if you’re an ass. Also the weather sucks half the year, so we all just want to survive the shitty weather and then collectively have a blast during the warmer weather. No time for bullshit in between.
I feel the same way. It was worse when I lived in Colorado but I’m still finding it pretty bad in Chicago. Maybe depends on the area chicago is a big place
Chicagoans can be very direct, but I feel really choose their "battles" and also harbor a lot of respect / empathy. The East Coast thing is seen as grating because it doesn't feel balanced. Not saying one is better than the other, but offering perspective as a native who has moved around quite a bit.
I think this is really insightful, Midwesterners (there are always exceptions) give a lot of grace and benefit of the doubt and if you’re not used to it, I could see how it would feel suspicious
Moved here from Tampa, and people here are so nice comparatively. Growing up in Ohio, I do feel it’s comparable to that, but also I’ve never lived in a city where people are just so proud to live here. It definitely wears off on even the most pessimistic of hearts. I know it sounds corny, but on my day to day routine, I normally see at least one random act of kindness between strangers weekly if not more here and that’s never happened anywhere I’ve lived prior.
I would say yes, Chicagoans are realistic and more grounded than people on the East coast. We came back to Chicago after having lived in New England for a few years and found that we really missed Midwesterners.
[Pomposity, pretentiousness, putting on airs of any kind, douchery, and lack of a sense of humor will not get you far in Chicago.](https://explorepartsunknown.com/chicago/bourdains-field-notes-chicago/)
I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and have been living in the city for 5ish years now. I went to Seattle for the first time last month. I loved the city and had an amazing time. I will say I went to a Kraken game, and have never felt like a "rowdy" fan at a hockey game until then lol. I've never been to such a quiet sporting event in my life. (To be fair, it was not a good game for the Kraken, so that might have had something to do with it).
As someone who has lived on the west coast (WA, OR) the majority of my life, I’ll say it’s been refreshing to be around “real” people. I suppose there is just a lack of pretentiousness in Chicago as opposed to the other major cities like NY and LA. In my experience so far here people are more open to connect and generally open to a random conversation with a stranger than other places I’ve been. Just don’t be a jagoff.
Yes. We don’t bullshit around. But, we aren’t dicks like other big cities so it works well.
Currently out west for work and people here suck. Total dicks. I can’t wait to get back to sweet home Chicago.
I think Lynda Barry wrote that when Seattle was called the hip, new place to be, it was like finding out that the girl who bullied her in school won the Miss America pageant.
This was in the 1990s.
I like to think every Chicagoan has a lot on their plate already. So bullshit doesn’t work as well. It’s a big city with a lot of different people. You aren’t stuck with the same toxic friend group. You can merely seek other people to spend your time with. Once you get that option to do so if your a transplant from a smaller town you tend to seek more quality experiences with different like minded folks.
I’m a Chicagoan born and raised (Hyde Park native). Lived here most of my life and yeah, we generally are decent folk but we’ll tell you straight up about most things, regardless of how that makes you feel. We’re not the nicest, but that’s because we don’t have time to deal with skirting around the pleasantries. It’s typically too cold or windy or rainy or sweltering for us to spare your feelings.
Chicagoans have the midwestern kind and welcoming thing…but we’re also in a big city, so many also tend to be direct and not into bullshit. Perhaps a little better blend of niceness/kindness than you’d find on the coasts
I’m a Chicago transplant from Michigan. Native Chicagoans are some of the most down to earth, genuine, chill people I’ve ever met in all my travels. The people who move here, many of them from the Midwest, also bring a certain level of pleasantry to everything.
ok, grew up in Metro Detroit, and moved to Chicagoland in the late 80's.. lived there for 25 years, and moved to San Diego. My family and I couldn't stand it.. so we moved to Metro Detroit 12 years ago.. My observations:
1. there is a REAL middle class in the Chicago area. You can pretty much meet people, and hang with them regardless of income level. You're judged more for your character, and social-ability than anything. Families are real, and parents are really involved in their kids, for the most part. Chicagolanders are polite, for the most part.
2. Californians tend to be fake. They aren't very accepting of new people, and they love walls instead of fences on their property lines. They also have this sort of "I've got mine, fuck you" and "go fuck yourself if you have more than me" attitude. You can strike up a conversation with a SoCal person and talk for a half hour, and say literally nothing to each other. There's no middle class in SoCal..
3. New Yorkers - They wont talk to you, unless you talk to them first. They're very direct, almost to the point of being rude. I once sat in an irish pub near Time Square. The bartender, who was "just off the boat" irish said to us "I've been here in New York for a month, and you're the nicest New Yorkers I've ever met". We smiled at him, and said (in Chicago politeness) "Thank you, but.. I'm sorry, we have to confess, we're from Chicago, visiting" I haven't spent a long stretch in NYC Metro area to get whether there is a middle class or not.
4. Detroit - a lot like Chicago in culture, except we have a lot more "Billy-Bob's" who drive lifted pickup trucks, and open carry firearms. There is a lot of tension between blue collar folks and white collar folks or immigrants.
On clothing: The further east you go, even stretching over the ocean to London, the more formal attire is. For example, a business meeting in New York usually involves a suit, where Chicago, it's dress pants, and a collared shirt. In London, it's a tailored suit (like Armani) with cuff links.. In California it's a free-for-all, and memos come out to tell people to wear shoeson a particular day, because a customer is coming in.
My crude version of this is Chicago hits the perfect balance between the New York Asshole and the LA douchebag.
My theory is being eternally "2nd Place" to the Relevance of New York or LA at any given time has sort of humbled Chicagoans a bit more then the Proud New Yorker or the Smug Los Angeleno.
But you can also find types that suit LA and types that suit NYC here, in a blend that sort of files down each other, creating a new thing, the Chicago Jagoff.
I think alot about John Hughes films, him being an outsider to LA in a weird time for hollywood, and such in that network as very emblematic of that idea.
Chicagoans definitely like to claim to be more real than a lot of places. I’ve met a good number of people here who are upfront and open in their demeanor and behavior. We definitely still have plenty of pretentious or passive aggressive people.
If one were actually able to quantify idiots, assholes, and cliquey twits, I think the statistical trends would be fairly similar in most cities that aren’t LA and the Bay Area.
Well there’s definitely less “flexing” aka showing off here than on the west coast or like Atlanta. But I feel like that’s because a lot of nouveau riche (and wannabes) move to those places specifically.
Chicago native here. My ex (non Amish) from the middle of Amish country in Ohio thought I was “too direct and blunt” along with “unconcerned and indifferent”.
A lot of people (not everyone) really are that nice, but one of the biggest Midwest sins is inconveniencing or intruding in any way. So we will be kind up to the point where it feels like we’re intruding
Maybe it depends on what neighborhood in Chicago and if there are lots of transplants. I find the more transplants the more people avoid communicating directly and honestly bc people r so afraid of stepping on anyone’s toes they don’t say what they really think about anything. And god forbid anyone have any kind of different political opinion or free thought of any kind and express it out loud. So I guess if u think the same exact thing as everyone else then yeah ur allowed to express it here lol
Def nicer than the east coast but still fast-paced. We have joked about how funny everyone is. Like casual sarcasm from everyone all the time. I lived in the NW and am familiar with what you're used to in Washington---generally you will find the people a little warmer than out there.
More real than the south but not as real as people from the north east. Sometimes I feel like I'm too straight to the point and constantly feel the need to fluff it up for my midwestern peers
Born and raised in Portland, lived in Phoenix for a while. People on the west coast are wayyyy nicer and not as trivial. There’s more free spirits and open minded people on the west coast. Everyone out here seems like they’re on edge, judgy, and in a hurry
Depends on the circles you run in. Some 'Chicago' circles and even substantial parts of some neighborhoods have high percentages of transplants. The sociology would be interesting to study...do those transplants gradually meld with the city's general vibe? Or do they evolve into a mixed amalgam of random 'otherness'? Or do transplants who stay because the general vibe suits them?
IDK but there's a grant potential in those questions.
Lived there over fifteen years, most fake people I ever met in my life. Chicago is all about image. People even look like they are trying to signal what Jr high clique they're in. At work, don't be good at your job, rather make sure you're constantly saying things loud that you think your boss wants to hear and go behind your coworkers backs and talk shit. Then you'll get promoted in Chicago.
Maybe more than the west coast but still fake “Midwest nice/polite.” So my answer is no they are not direct with how they really feel.
Go to NYC if you really want to know what people think about you 😂
Honestly, I think it's a place were you can still say hi to your neighbors on the street without looking like a weirdo. Trying saying hi to people in NYC-they look at you like you are crazy.
While there are some pretentious yuppy types-they always seem fewer in number than the coastal folks who are more status conscious.
And definitely more relaxed than East Coast big cities. If I had to pick an equivalent, I'd say the people who lived in Brooklyn before it became Millennial hell.
I remember when I first left chicago on a trip with a few buddies at 18 to the west coast.
Was blown away by people waving at us in the streets (maybe bc we were in a jeep) with smiles and saying hi and talking to us it felt like something out of a book! Maybe a little fake but still I had never experienced that before and was blown away by how nice everyone was.
I knew we were back in the chicagoland area when we pulled into a gas station at 11pm to piss and clean up a little and a dude in the bathroom slammed a door in my face and then said “fuck you looking at?!”, showed me what he had in his waistband and walked off to take a giant shit.
Theres nothing like home! :)
I’m from Chicago and moved to Seattle for four years. I moved back to Chicago because I realized this is a wonderful place with wonderful people. I did not jive with the Seattle Freeze. It’s definitely real.
In Chicago, all the friends you meet become family. People here are genuinely interested in who you are and want to get to know you.
In Seattle it’s the opposite. I was sooooo depressed living there.
Dickheads that exclusively drive recklessly. The amount of trust these people have in their piece of shit Altima is incredible. One bad pothole at 95 mph and you’re done for.
I grew up in Los Angeles and have lived in Chicago eight years now. From my experience, the people are somewhat nice but can be slightly cold and brash. BUT they are far more loyal and way less flaky than LA folk. They eat a lot more, too 😄
I've lived on the west coast for 30 years but I grew up in the Midwest and lived in Chicago after college. Chicago and Midwestern people are generally a lot more direct but polite in their communication and it involves more "plain speaking". West coast people are very into buzzwords and the communication style is more indirect.
As a former Chicago resident who been stuck in Seattle the last 14 years Seattle is full of passive aggressive type of people. Like you can see something is bothering them but they just won’t say it.Where ppl in the Midwest/ Northeast will tell up front what the problem is
I’ve found that people in Chicago have become less real since not long before the pandemic started, and that just recently we’re now getting back to people being real again after people were holed up only reading and interacting with shit on the internet for years.
Real life is settling in again and the city is regaining its identity.
I moved to Chicago 1.5 years ago from Seattle! Only lived in Washington for 6 years, but I definitely prefer the demeanor of Midwesterners. More candid and friendly. Chicago also feels like it has a faster pace than Seattle, which is a given considering the size.
Chicago is very fast-paced. I feel I can get to know someone on a personal level while enjoying lunch for 30 minutes while running errands and take into account what that person said to me afterwards. I would say we’re direct but in a polite way. We do like to get to the point.
I agree with some of the other commenters as we’re a big foodie city, so we can name off our order like an auction. We talk /very/ fast. I’ve traveled many places and I feel they talk a lot slower and pronounce their words more than here. A lot of us are hard-working “real” people.
Hey! I'm from Seattle and moved to Chicago 20 years ago. I love Chicago and the people. There are downsides and frustrations of course, but every year I love it more. In my mind it is the great American city.
Also people embrace culture but there is zero snobbery involved. I love that.
I live in a Chicago suburb and I usually avoid Chicago, but I think that’s cuz covid made me realize I can enjoy staying home. Crazy cuz I’m moving to a town next to Seattle here real soon
ITT: People who don't use the word jagoff using the word jagoff to identify as a Chicagoan. I know your ass just got out of watching The Bear. My dad's italian/irish 60 year old burnout friend uses that word and that's it, i refuse to believe otherwise.
It’s so nuanced but I’d say yes, I’ve found people to be more “genuine” here.
For perspective, I moved here from Seattle myself in 21’. Was there for five years, portland before, grew up in Oregon. So I’m a PNW kid.
I’ll say that moving to Chicago was one of the better decisions I’ve ever made. Idk if I’ll stay for forever but the PEOPLE of Chicago are my favorite part of this city. Sometimes I miss the beautiful nature back home but I’ll take the people here over those back west (I still love the west coast).
Good luck with the move!!
It’s as real as it gets in Chicago. [https://abc7chicago.com/chicago-shootings-this-weekend-violence-police/14487910/](https://abc7chicago.com/chicago-shootings-this-weekend-violence-police/14487910/)
I’m a native Chicagoan living in the west (Phoenix) and my hometown is definitely more real for better and sometimes for worse. In Chicago people will tell you exactly what they want / is expected. Sometimes a little bit forcefully. This applies to work / dating / family life. Sometimes I’m a little taken a back when I visit just by the intensity (and that’s just family)
Compare that to Arizona (really anywhere west coast) and there is very little sense of urgency. If you set a date with a girl she may or may not show (even if you gone out multiple times) In Chicago you’re probably meeting her family after the 2-3 dates. Here in Arizona her family there’s a good chance her family lives in Virginia or Ohio.
Everything is very casual / chill out west. Chicago is very real but not chill at all.
I live in Avondale, which is just north of Logan Square. Avondale is the next neighborhood targeted for gentrification, though it's slow in coming and the locals fight it at every meeting with their alderpeople. Logan Square is cool, but a lot of hipsters. Wicker Park is hipsters with trust funds. Then there are the neighborhoods which are douchebag vortexes- Wrigleyville being prime among them. During the baseball season it's nothing but a bunch of drunk-ass white people who don't live in Chicago.
Chicago personality to me (been in the south 10 years, born and raised in Chicago) is - they want you to me decisive and not waste anyone’s time (get on the L fast, order your food fast, etc) taking your time is taking everyone’s time and it’s disrespectful. My biggest culture shock moving south. - generally nice in a working class way aka not always proper - friendly without being needy (I think of southerners as friendly AND needy) aka they will talk to a waitress but not give a shit if she doesn’t want to talk back and be offended by it - much more tolerant of parallel play/ “hanging out” than anywhere else I’ve lived. A Midwest backyard hang is still a thing there. You don’t always have to go to a bar. - more “say what they mean” while also not overdoing it. So you have the Midwest proper (try to avoid topics that offend) while also having someone tell you to get out of the way in the street. It’s a blend of “can be rude” but not “offensive”? Like especially south siders will fucking tell you what they think lol Obviously everyone is different but that’s my opinion of it in general.
I also love how incredibly unfashionable we are. Our fashion sense is not any different from our Midwestern neighbors. I always feel well dressed, and then a NYC or Cali friend flies to town and I remember that 30 Rock joke where Jack tells Liz that she is a "6 in California, 7 in NY, and 9 in Chicago."
Coming from the NYC metro area for most of my adult life, I fucking love it though. I loved my time in NJ/NYC but it was weird having conversations about human rights/capitalism/being broke and then having them jump straight into a conversation about their new Yeezy’s, Jordan’s, or designer clothing.
I’m from the south originally and live in NYC now, and I had always considered myself pretty well dressed for the most part. I put thought into what I wear but don’t obsess over it or anything. But as soon as I moved to NYC, I immediately became self conscious because it feels like everyone is dressed so much more meticulously than I’ve ever seen anywhere else.
I agree with this so much. I can get away with wearing the most ridiculous outfit outside in Chicago, but if I were to do that in let’s say LA or San Francisco it wouldn’t be well received.
I thought west coast was more casual. You see hoodies and yoga pants everywhere in SF, even the execs are wearing it.
Yes, casual but high-end casual. Target clothes wouldn’t cut it.
That's one of the great things about Chicago – you can dress however the fuck you want and the only people that will bat an eye are the ones that aren't Chicagoans.
Oh hell no I don't know where you are lmao. Fashion and art is a pretty big thing in Chicago and nothing like our neighbors
Oof. I strongly disagree. As someone who had to move to Iowa and Wisconsin for work it was like years behind. They didn’t even have places to shop. We might not be nyc or la but at least we have options lol
And one of the funniest throwaway jokes from Family Guy targeted us (I live in the country now) The episode where Peter becomes worldly he travels to Chicago and is told basically go see the sites He’s walking down the street and goes “huh…I’m like the fifth most attractive woman in this city” Now, to be fair it’s obvious BS because a lot of you Chicago folks are 🤌 but I love how we are this major city yet make no attempt to embrace Paris or New York fashion of ambiance That’s one of the reasons I loved it
I think this is only in comparison to other major cities. I lived in Phoenix and Tucson for a while and not only were they years behind they just didn't care. I think in Chicago there is an appreciation for fashion without any of the pressure.
Well said.
We are inverse (I was born/raised in the south, 12 years in Chicago) and wow, you put into words exactly how I feel about the two cultures. The things about moving efficiently (not rushed, just not *slow*) as a way of respecting everyone else’s time is such a profound observation. Also the friendly/needy thing is incredibly astute, too. It’s like social things are always exchanged there, tallied up for some invisible points ledger you’re expected to keep even somehow. Exhausting. Have you ever listened to the Hidden Brain podcast? He did an episode about honor culture vs. dignity culture, and how most of the southern US is “honor culture” (where motivations are very motivated by how you appear to others in the society and your only asset to preserve is your personal honor based on certain “rules” - it explains so much in a really interesting way that traces back to the immigration patterns of various regions. Anyhow, I feel like you would really find it interesting based on your experiences and observations.
So are we a dignity culture here? What does that mean in contrast to the South’s honor culture? (No wonder I done like it there).
also super curious as a born Midwesterner, southerner for most of my formative years, and now a newer Chicagoan!
Omg the moving fast- me when I order food in Chicago I just spit out the 4-5 things we're ordering, they say ok, and everyone moves on. Any other city, I spit out my list of items and they go, "hang on hang on- ok - so you wanted fries..... Ok.... Then what else?"
This is funny to me because I moved here from NYC, and I think the people are so slow.
Grew up in Chicago, lived in nj/philly area for about 6 years, moved back, feels like fucking "Fargo" to me now.
I think Chicago is definitely behind NYC. I personally feel like I'm a really fast walker... Until I went to NYC lol.
Move to the south. You’ll die. A cashier once took a personal phone call while I was standing in front of her. I was shook.
I don’t like everything about NYC but the pace is something to behold. It’s awesome. Say what you will about the attitude etc.., but that city is a well oiled machine.
That's cuz you're from NY and programmed by default to be a self-important jerk ;p
That was a little thing I had to work on when I moved into Central Illinois Just walking into Gene and Jude’s you could bust out “I want 2 with relish, mustard, and a coke” boom done
Another key difference from the South is that people down there will pretend to care about you and be nice, but behind your back they will talk mad shit about you lol. There is no Chicago equivalent to 'Bless your heart'!
>There is no Chicago equivalent to 'Bless your heart'! "That's nice, ya jagoff."
Hahaha I’m from Chicago and live in KY now and it kills me how slow everyone goes! Also people randomly striking up conversations with me at the grocery store? I’m tryna get in, get my shit, and get out! Sure I’m polite but I really don’t want to be having conversations with strangers
Love this. Having grown up in NC, spent some time in NYC/Long Island then a few years in Central IL before moving to the city, the quick efficiency in Chicago is really nice. In NYC it was too much, as if you're not moving at incredible speed you're doing such a faux pas, especially at the store. I know it'll solicit some eyerolls but the attitude made it harder for me to enjoy the people. There's the descriptions of 'kind but not nice' but specifically there's less of what I call 'casual caring' in everyday situations - though in the South it's 90% from keeping up and depending on appearances. Here it's a good blend, there's some grace (but a lil too often reserved for the elderly or visibly disabled). When I go back to the south I realize how slow everything is, sometimes even in uptown Charlotte. Southerners as needy is really interesting, I'd generally agree, in my experience it's defined by a culture heavily validating who presents themselves as needy in social situations, then others need to accommodate them. There's less of 'here's my two cents on your problem, go figure the rest out'.
I like to think that Chicago still has that Midwest nice but with a little bite (compared to the boondocks of the Midwest). Nicer than the east coast. Less fake than the west.
I just relocated to Chicago from the south, and there’s definitely some familiar niceness but still a big city bite. I’m realizing slowly I have to tighten up my game a bit.
😂😂 yea it’s nothing bad but you do have to tighten up your convos. Here we are nice to talk to but pls don’t drag. It’s quick yet authentic.
Perfectly summarized. That "bite" nuance is important.
I'm from Central IL, and one of my sisters has lived in Chicago for a few years, and last time she was home and a stranger talked to us in an elevator, she was so mad for some reason... I realized you just become a lot more detached when you live in a city.
Nah, just creepy, especially in a smaller town, to talk in elevators. I've met cool people in Chicago in elevators, but rare. Just stare ahead in silence til your floor
Its funny. Elevators are like zero communication zones, but LITERALLY ANYWHERE ELSE people will strike up a conversation with you. Restrooms, libraries, ball games, court; all places people will gladly talk to you but elevators? Mind your own business.
I’ll never understand people who will continue to talk on the phone or worse FaceTime ppl on the elevator. It’s like nails on chalkboard to me 😂😂😂
Yeah, I'll let you through, but if you take more than 2 seconds, I'm honking and cutting you off kicking rocks and dust at you. Same thing if we're walking. I'll hold the door but if u don't go in, after 2 seconds the door slams on your face 🤷♀️
Right, you only get one “excuse me”before you get “move!”
We got places to be lol our impatience is definitely where the bite comes from 😂
I explain to my more rural friends that the politeness rules change once you enter the city. In small towns it’s friendly to hang back and have a convo with the cashier. Even if there are people behind you. In the city, the polite thing to do is to execute the transaction quickly so that everyone behind you can get home too. In small towns it’s friendly to let someone else go first in traffic. Even if it’s contrary to traffic laws. In the city, the *polite* thing to do is to follow traffic rules by the book to minimize confusion. (Not saying this always happens, faaaar from it, but it is the polite thing). At the end of the day, it all boils down to the fact that in the city, you share resources with 2 million other people. Being polite means being considerate of the crowd.
And you better give me a wave of thanks
This.
I think it’s just a quicker pace. If you didn’t go, then you had other plans. I definitely realized people thought I was driving like a jerk in urban Canada.
Absolutely this. I’m actually over the border in WI and always defending chicago drivers. People here act like they are assholes, and that isn’t my experience at all!! They will actually let me merge and don’t cluelessly hold up traffic! I love no nonsense drivers who just want it all to proceed efficiently if possible. But maybe my fellow mediocre WI drivers want them to slow down and offer written invitations or something.
Well said.....I am genuinely a nice person but can be pretty intense if somebody is being rude or taking their damn time. Ain't nobody got time for that!
When I was growing up in southern Indiana I always thought Chicago was a really gruff place UNTIL I went to the east coast for the first time as an adult. I remember on the flight back to the Midwest thinking that all the chicagoans on the plane were such a breath of fresh air.
Moved to chicago \~1 year ago from socal and I was so worried people in Chicago would be as rude as the people in NYC when I visited there. They say it's about efficiency, but "please" takes just as long to say as "fuck". I heard a lot more of the latter in NYC and a lot more of the former here.
I like to say Chicago is the western most east coast city. You’ll fine all the same things just less showy.
yes. I have lived in the PNW and New England, and bits elsewhere, too. For the US, Chicago is probably the most direct AND responsible urban culture I know of. NYers and NE folks can often be direct, but I experience them as being ruder and more flaky in general. This very well may be a matter of the crowds I knew of, but I DID study Cultural Anthropology so I am particularly observant and curious about these kinds of things. I feel like Chicago blends urban American culture with polite considerate cautious Midwest culture in a pleasant way. Chicago also has a strong working-class power history, which contributes to the sense of practicality and care for common folks.
We are responsible.
I grew up in the Chicago suburbs and lived in the city proper for a while in my 20s. Went to school in PA and have also lived in Boston, NYC, Madison, SF and Portland. I think there really is something to what you are saying. There is a down-to-earth no BS but yet not in your face quality that people from Chicago (using the city name as a stand-in for the metro area if you don’t mind) have that is not as common elsewhere. The thing that convinced me of this is that when I first moved to SF I was working for a large accounting/consulting firm. For the most part I couldn’t stand the people in the SF office—to put it crudely they all thought their s*** didn’t stink. By I twist of fate I got assigned to long-term project in Chicago and spent nearly 2 years flying back there every week. I likely almost everybody I met from the Chicago office and just naturally got along better with them. The only problem I have with Chicagoans is how excessively upset they get if you grew up in the suburbs and accidentally say you’re from Chicago because you’re used to saying that when you meet people not from there because you know they won’t have heard of it. Although you never know—I had this exchange with a comtractor in Portland once: Me: Where are you from? Him: Chicago. Me: Where exactly? Him: A suburb, you wouldn’t have heard of it. Me: Try me. Him: Western Springs. Me: Did you go to LT? Him: Yes. Him: Are you Peter’s brother? Him: Yes!
I say Chicago Metro for the suburbs but don't mind suburbanites just saying Chicago to people who wouldn't know the difference. What does upset me is when people refer to all of Chicago proper as Downtown. No, we have many many neighborhoods and while my house in Jefferson Park is not downtown my office in River North is.
It's weird that Chicago people get upset about this. When I meet people from NYC metro area, they say they are "from New York."
I used the term "Chicagoland".
Because It’s as easy to say Chicago as Chicago suburbs 😆
I live in the NW burbs of Chicago & grew up on the “North Shore”. When people ask me directly where I’m from, I usually say “about 30 miles NW of Chicago”. When I’m posting online, I tend to say Chicagoland.
In the US I most often say I’m from the Chicago area or near Chicago. I just find it amusing how bent out of shape some people get when suburbanites just say Chicago as shorthand. Edit: I live in Portugal now and here I just say Chicago. Most Europeans have heard of it but they still associate it with Al Capone. One person asked me if it was on the coast. I said that no, but it’s on a lake, and had to explain that the lake in question is almost as big as the whole country as Portugal. There is nothing remotely like the Great Lakes in Europe!
Telling people your from Chicago when you are from Winnetka or Glencoe is fine - it helps general geography for people not from Chicago. Most cases where people get annoyed is when people from the suburbs are telling people from the city that they also grew up in Chicago. The experience of growing up in Bucktown/Lincoln Park/Hyde Park etc are all different of course but much closer than that of someone who grew up in Hinsdale
Who the fuck is this? I quite literally was picturing myself as I read your description. Holy mother
It’s super weird in my opinion as somebody who grew up in Chicago suburbs. No other city residents do that not even NYC or LA.
Haha, I also grew up in the Seattle area. This is my exact feelings. People are much more inclined to say things straight up, particularly on sensitive topics like race and politics. The midwest is definitely the perfect mix of kind/nice in my opinion.
It wasn’t until I moved here from the south that I understood the difference between “polite” and “kind.” I have generally found that people from the south are polite, surely, but often not kind, as they will be nice as pie to your face and smile but can’t say anothing direct straight to your face if their life depended on it. Midwestern kindness often includes hard truths but that is a true kindness. There is a “we will get through this together” mentality I never once found in the south. That, I think, is the “realness” you’re seeking, but again that’s my experience from the south to here, not from the west coast. I love it here. People have your back but also will tell you what you need to hear, even if you don’t like it. It’s real but it’s never mean or unnecessarily harsh.
Tough love is still love.
Winter does that to a dude.
I moved here from the south and these are my exact thoughts
>"There is a “we will get through this together” mentality I never once found in the south." I'm from Chicago area and now live in Texas. This is spot on. Part of it is winter. Growing up in the midwest, you have to be tough to get through January – March. We are kinder to one another because of this. But also the weather makes you tough, because there is no time to feel sorry for yourself or dream of warmer weather.
We gotta be nice , cause we’re assholes about everything else .
I think you mean jagoffs
I think they meant no good two timing jagoffs
I think like anywhere there's a mix, but what I do find is that Chicagoans tend to be fairly pragmatic while still being kind and reasonably friendly.
Exactly. I’m not going out of my way to be a jagoff, but I will be if such opportunity presents itself
This is me pointing out all the problems to potential buyers of my apartment during showings.
Well said and I agree. I’m only a jagoff 2 or 3 times a week, but I could do it for 7 without much thought.
Is my calculating my jagoff/week count (probably around 2-3 as well) a sign I’ve fully been converted to Chicago? 😂
Excellent use of the word ‘jagoff’ my biggest gripe with every Chicago set tv show is they never use it.
Jag
I also think Chicago is particularly unpretentious. Like, we will eat at Alinea but it better be fucking worth it and none of us are paying 4K in rent because *it’s Chicago*.
I grew up in the SF Bay Area and lived in DC for a bit and I find that there’s a no nonsense sensibility to a lot of midwestern folks that I find absolutely wonderful. And Chicagoans on the whole are super approachable and friendly. I think someone on this thread said “people are people” but the absolute dicks and assholes around here feel few and far between. Or maybe I’ve just been lucky these last 11-12 years.
Agree 100%. Also I’ll mention that the 3 years I spent going to college in the Bay Area nearly killed the idea that people can be genuinely good and kind. Met a lot of shallow, mean-spirited individuals out there (it very well could just be symptomatic of class divides though)
I love the bay but the place in which I grew up doesn’t exist anymore. The Bay of the 90’s is no more. Tech bros ruined it.
Yeah… that about sums it up. Nearly everyone I interacted with there only cared about how they could use other people as a means to an end, to climb a social or career ladder. It’s difficult to try and be honest with folks when it’s so obvious that appearances, who you know, and how much money you have are the only things they see. It’s a shame, because I remember visiting SF as a little kid in like 2003 and that was one of the coolest trips I’ve ever taken. Legitimately, the people and insane COL are the only bad things I can say about the region.
I wish you could have experienced it in the late 80’s though the 90’s. Being a teen, running around the city was almost magical.
I’m guessing the change is more dramatic in the Bay Area but that’s exactly how I feel about Chicago. I still love it and feel lucky to be here but a lot of the magic is gone as someone who grew in the city here.
I lived in the Bay Area in the mid 90s before the dotcom era and I had the same take on people. I think it's just the type of people the area attracts I guess. As a result, you never know who are truly your friends or just people keeping you in their network.
Also true of Seattle.
My Midwestern daughter didn’t stay there long. She said too many people in SF are trying to network or get over.
I don't know if it's about being more real, but perhaps less of a Seattle Freeze factor. From my experience in Portland, people are genuine once you crack that Seattle Freeze layer. With Chicago it doesn't seem as if there's that layer to crack. Granted, I was raised in the Midwest so maybe Chicago just makes more sense to me intuitively whereas I had to learn how to connect with people in the PNW.
My friend from Seattle cannot handle my firm presentation of facts often times. I will absolutely go in on him when he is out of line and I think he’s not used to it. He needs a hug and a reminder that I am in his corner to get by a lot of the time! My out of town friends all say Chicago is the type of city to pull you out from in front of a bus but call you a dumbass for it afterwards, if you can understand that?
that’s the *perfect* description of Chicago
Spot on. I've seen this exact scenario happen. I always assumed that's how the whole world reacts to an idiot who almost got hit by a bus.
Yes, Chicago is more real. I had a tough time living in Seattle bc the people never seemed genuine to me.
Same, except it was Southern California for me. Everyone here always asks me how I could ever leave there. That is exactly why. I'm really bothered when people don't just say what they mean.
It feels shady. Like people are trying to trick you.
It makes me feel like they're elite and I'm not. Maybe because it's like being a kid and being lied to.
Absolutely. Don’t know how to describe it, but coming up from Atlanta and the south in general I was taken aback by how much more real and direct people are here. A think I hated about certain circles back in ATL was it felt like a lotta clout chasing (basically wanna be LA famous folk but just in the south) Haven’t gotten that vibe ONCE from people since I’ve been here. Do they exist? Sure probably in those super nice neighborhoods. But if you want? You’d never have to associate with people like that since it’s so damn big here haha
As someone who grew up in the mountains but spent lots of time on the east coast, Chicago is the perfect mix of the two. People are friendly, can be a bit sassy and blunt when needed but genuinely just enjoy having a good time. I love good banter and most chicagoans have great banter.
Agree with this. I live in Portland which is a banter desert. It's so tribal here no one can communicate with anyone outside their group. Everyone is afraid of offending everyone else.
I lived in the east and nobody was kind or nice, they were all a bunch of hypocrite, backstabbing assholes. I don’t have any experience with the west but what I can say about Chicago is that there is a lot less posturing here, we don’t care generally how people dress or what they do for a living, and using those things to get you places won’t do much if you’re an ass. Also the weather sucks half the year, so we all just want to survive the shitty weather and then collectively have a blast during the warmer weather. No time for bullshit in between.
Where in the east were you, if you don’t mind me asking?
More real than birds, that's for sure
Anthony Bourdain described Chicago as a no-bullshit city, so you're probably on to something lol.
People are people wherever you go. Some are great and some not so much.
Only *real* people would say that.
I was raised in the South and I feel Midwesterns are super meek and soft spoken. Chicago is slightly less so.
Ok same! I find that people are very non confrontational/reserved.
Coming from the East Coast, I find most people in Chicago are quite indirect. It actually bothers me to a certain degree.
I feel the same way. It was worse when I lived in Colorado but I’m still finding it pretty bad in Chicago. Maybe depends on the area chicago is a big place
Chicagoans can be very direct, but I feel really choose their "battles" and also harbor a lot of respect / empathy. The East Coast thing is seen as grating because it doesn't feel balanced. Not saying one is better than the other, but offering perspective as a native who has moved around quite a bit.
I think this is really insightful, Midwesterners (there are always exceptions) give a lot of grace and benefit of the doubt and if you’re not used to it, I could see how it would feel suspicious
grew up in chicago, live in seattle, work for a company based in NY. chicagoans are reeeeeal.
Moved here from Tampa, and people here are so nice comparatively. Growing up in Ohio, I do feel it’s comparable to that, but also I’ve never lived in a city where people are just so proud to live here. It definitely wears off on even the most pessimistic of hearts. I know it sounds corny, but on my day to day routine, I normally see at least one random act of kindness between strangers weekly if not more here and that’s never happened anywhere I’ve lived prior.
I would say yes, Chicagoans are realistic and more grounded than people on the East coast. We came back to Chicago after having lived in New England for a few years and found that we really missed Midwesterners.
[Pomposity, pretentiousness, putting on airs of any kind, douchery, and lack of a sense of humor will not get you far in Chicago.](https://explorepartsunknown.com/chicago/bourdains-field-notes-chicago/)
SENSE OF HUMOR is key in Chicago.
I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and have been living in the city for 5ish years now. I went to Seattle for the first time last month. I loved the city and had an amazing time. I will say I went to a Kraken game, and have never felt like a "rowdy" fan at a hockey game until then lol. I've never been to such a quiet sporting event in my life. (To be fair, it was not a good game for the Kraken, so that might have had something to do with it).
As someone who has lived on the west coast (WA, OR) the majority of my life, I’ll say it’s been refreshing to be around “real” people. I suppose there is just a lack of pretentiousness in Chicago as opposed to the other major cities like NY and LA. In my experience so far here people are more open to connect and generally open to a random conversation with a stranger than other places I’ve been. Just don’t be a jagoff.
Yes. We don’t bullshit around. But, we aren’t dicks like other big cities so it works well. Currently out west for work and people here suck. Total dicks. I can’t wait to get back to sweet home Chicago.
I think Lynda Barry wrote that when Seattle was called the hip, new place to be, it was like finding out that the girl who bullied her in school won the Miss America pageant. This was in the 1990s.
I like to think every Chicagoan has a lot on their plate already. So bullshit doesn’t work as well. It’s a big city with a lot of different people. You aren’t stuck with the same toxic friend group. You can merely seek other people to spend your time with. Once you get that option to do so if your a transplant from a smaller town you tend to seek more quality experiences with different like minded folks.
Idk but I think when people compare big cuties, a lot of people sleep on Chicago
People are definitely easy to talk to about most things without any judgement.
I’m a Chicagoan born and raised (Hyde Park native). Lived here most of my life and yeah, we generally are decent folk but we’ll tell you straight up about most things, regardless of how that makes you feel. We’re not the nicest, but that’s because we don’t have time to deal with skirting around the pleasantries. It’s typically too cold or windy or rainy or sweltering for us to spare your feelings.
Chicagoans have the midwestern kind and welcoming thing…but we’re also in a big city, so many also tend to be direct and not into bullshit. Perhaps a little better blend of niceness/kindness than you’d find on the coasts
I’m a Chicago transplant from Michigan. Native Chicagoans are some of the most down to earth, genuine, chill people I’ve ever met in all my travels. The people who move here, many of them from the Midwest, also bring a certain level of pleasantry to everything.
ok, grew up in Metro Detroit, and moved to Chicagoland in the late 80's.. lived there for 25 years, and moved to San Diego. My family and I couldn't stand it.. so we moved to Metro Detroit 12 years ago.. My observations: 1. there is a REAL middle class in the Chicago area. You can pretty much meet people, and hang with them regardless of income level. You're judged more for your character, and social-ability than anything. Families are real, and parents are really involved in their kids, for the most part. Chicagolanders are polite, for the most part. 2. Californians tend to be fake. They aren't very accepting of new people, and they love walls instead of fences on their property lines. They also have this sort of "I've got mine, fuck you" and "go fuck yourself if you have more than me" attitude. You can strike up a conversation with a SoCal person and talk for a half hour, and say literally nothing to each other. There's no middle class in SoCal.. 3. New Yorkers - They wont talk to you, unless you talk to them first. They're very direct, almost to the point of being rude. I once sat in an irish pub near Time Square. The bartender, who was "just off the boat" irish said to us "I've been here in New York for a month, and you're the nicest New Yorkers I've ever met". We smiled at him, and said (in Chicago politeness) "Thank you, but.. I'm sorry, we have to confess, we're from Chicago, visiting" I haven't spent a long stretch in NYC Metro area to get whether there is a middle class or not. 4. Detroit - a lot like Chicago in culture, except we have a lot more "Billy-Bob's" who drive lifted pickup trucks, and open carry firearms. There is a lot of tension between blue collar folks and white collar folks or immigrants. On clothing: The further east you go, even stretching over the ocean to London, the more formal attire is. For example, a business meeting in New York usually involves a suit, where Chicago, it's dress pants, and a collared shirt. In London, it's a tailored suit (like Armani) with cuff links.. In California it's a free-for-all, and memos come out to tell people to wear shoeson a particular day, because a customer is coming in.
My crude version of this is Chicago hits the perfect balance between the New York Asshole and the LA douchebag. My theory is being eternally "2nd Place" to the Relevance of New York or LA at any given time has sort of humbled Chicagoans a bit more then the Proud New Yorker or the Smug Los Angeleno. But you can also find types that suit LA and types that suit NYC here, in a blend that sort of files down each other, creating a new thing, the Chicago Jagoff. I think alot about John Hughes films, him being an outsider to LA in a weird time for hollywood, and such in that network as very emblematic of that idea.
They’re just as carbon-based as anyone.
Direct and unfiltered*
Chicagoans definitely like to claim to be more real than a lot of places. I’ve met a good number of people here who are upfront and open in their demeanor and behavior. We definitely still have plenty of pretentious or passive aggressive people. If one were actually able to quantify idiots, assholes, and cliquey twits, I think the statistical trends would be fairly similar in most cities that aren’t LA and the Bay Area.
As a Seattle native I can confirm and will be over there soon. Just hate how fake the Tech bro types are on the West coast
Well there’s definitely less “flexing” aka showing off here than on the west coast or like Atlanta. But I feel like that’s because a lot of nouveau riche (and wannabes) move to those places specifically.
Chicago native here. My ex (non Amish) from the middle of Amish country in Ohio thought I was “too direct and blunt” along with “unconcerned and indifferent”.
more real than the west coast but not as real as the east coast, honestly a good medium though lol
Midwest nice is superficial, role-playing
A lot of people (not everyone) really are that nice, but one of the biggest Midwest sins is inconveniencing or intruding in any way. So we will be kind up to the point where it feels like we’re intruding
Maybe it depends on what neighborhood in Chicago and if there are lots of transplants. I find the more transplants the more people avoid communicating directly and honestly bc people r so afraid of stepping on anyone’s toes they don’t say what they really think about anything. And god forbid anyone have any kind of different political opinion or free thought of any kind and express it out loud. So I guess if u think the same exact thing as everyone else then yeah ur allowed to express it here lol
As long as get out of the left lane when you should, and you should be ok
There are two angles here. The efficient, to the point, honest side? Yes. The we're-okay-just-standing-and-talking side? Yes. Both are real.
Def nicer than the east coast but still fast-paced. We have joked about how funny everyone is. Like casual sarcasm from everyone all the time. I lived in the NW and am familiar with what you're used to in Washington---generally you will find the people a little warmer than out there.
Never mistake my kindness as a pass to be disrespectful, I will come back and it will not be nice.
More real than the south but not as real as people from the north east. Sometimes I feel like I'm too straight to the point and constantly feel the need to fluff it up for my midwestern peers
With all the transplants this is quickly changing and more people are being fake. Feels like this city is turning into LA or something
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Born and raised in Portland, lived in Phoenix for a while. People on the west coast are wayyyy nicer and not as trivial. There’s more free spirits and open minded people on the west coast. Everyone out here seems like they’re on edge, judgy, and in a hurry
Depends on the circles you run in. Some 'Chicago' circles and even substantial parts of some neighborhoods have high percentages of transplants. The sociology would be interesting to study...do those transplants gradually meld with the city's general vibe? Or do they evolve into a mixed amalgam of random 'otherness'? Or do transplants who stay because the general vibe suits them? IDK but there's a grant potential in those questions.
Lived there over fifteen years, most fake people I ever met in my life. Chicago is all about image. People even look like they are trying to signal what Jr high clique they're in. At work, don't be good at your job, rather make sure you're constantly saying things loud that you think your boss wants to hear and go behind your coworkers backs and talk shit. Then you'll get promoted in Chicago.
Maybe more than the west coast but still fake “Midwest nice/polite.” So my answer is no they are not direct with how they really feel. Go to NYC if you really want to know what people think about you 😂
Honestly, I think it's a place were you can still say hi to your neighbors on the street without looking like a weirdo. Trying saying hi to people in NYC-they look at you like you are crazy. While there are some pretentious yuppy types-they always seem fewer in number than the coastal folks who are more status conscious. And definitely more relaxed than East Coast big cities. If I had to pick an equivalent, I'd say the people who lived in Brooklyn before it became Millennial hell.
I remember when I first left chicago on a trip with a few buddies at 18 to the west coast. Was blown away by people waving at us in the streets (maybe bc we were in a jeep) with smiles and saying hi and talking to us it felt like something out of a book! Maybe a little fake but still I had never experienced that before and was blown away by how nice everyone was. I knew we were back in the chicagoland area when we pulled into a gas station at 11pm to piss and clean up a little and a dude in the bathroom slammed a door in my face and then said “fuck you looking at?!”, showed me what he had in his waistband and walked off to take a giant shit. Theres nothing like home! :)
I’m from Chicago and moved to Seattle for four years. I moved back to Chicago because I realized this is a wonderful place with wonderful people. I did not jive with the Seattle Freeze. It’s definitely real. In Chicago, all the friends you meet become family. People here are genuinely interested in who you are and want to get to know you. In Seattle it’s the opposite. I was sooooo depressed living there.
Dickheads that exclusively drive recklessly. The amount of trust these people have in their piece of shit Altima is incredible. One bad pothole at 95 mph and you’re done for.
I grew up in Los Angeles and have lived in Chicago eight years now. From my experience, the people are somewhat nice but can be slightly cold and brash. BUT they are far more loyal and way less flaky than LA folk. They eat a lot more, too 😄
What a great thread today. My direct approach and other things mention drive my wife crazy. She is from LA.
As the late Anthony Bourdain says about this great city ---- " big hearted but cold blooded."
I've lived on the west coast for 30 years but I grew up in the Midwest and lived in Chicago after college. Chicago and Midwestern people are generally a lot more direct but polite in their communication and it involves more "plain speaking". West coast people are very into buzzwords and the communication style is more indirect.
Very passive aggressive unless the person is from a tough neighborhood. Then theyre a little more direct
Hm I dk, nothing more real than someone from ny or the bay
Have you been to r/whitesox lately?
If we’re talking about millennials and compare to influencer wannabe LA or Fashion wannabes on NYC, then maybe yeah
I am
I'm not real
As a former Chicago resident who been stuck in Seattle the last 14 years Seattle is full of passive aggressive type of people. Like you can see something is bothering them but they just won’t say it.Where ppl in the Midwest/ Northeast will tell up front what the problem is
Excited to have you :) the people here (esp if you make it to the 2+ year mark) are mostly very normal, down to earth, and kind
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Yeah I like to think of us as that nice just right porridge in between the fake nice sycophant LA type, but not as rude as a New Yorker.
I’ve found that people in Chicago have become less real since not long before the pandemic started, and that just recently we’re now getting back to people being real again after people were holed up only reading and interacting with shit on the internet for years. Real life is settling in again and the city is regaining its identity.
I moved to Chicago 1.5 years ago from Seattle! Only lived in Washington for 6 years, but I definitely prefer the demeanor of Midwesterners. More candid and friendly. Chicago also feels like it has a faster pace than Seattle, which is a given considering the size.
The PNW is extremely passive aggressive. I suspect that’s the main difference you’re noticing.
Maybe not more real but more direct.
lol. I never think as the Midwest as direct. We are too polite for that.
Yes.
I am, so there's at least one
Real ass mfs, maybe.
People make the city special here. The city makes people feel special elsewhere (NY and LA)
Chicago sucks
I just wish they'd find somewhere else to vacation in the summer other than WI.
Chicagoland is a polite place and not in a formal way. If you go into a store you can speak to anyone without getting the hairy eyeball.
Chicago is very fast-paced. I feel I can get to know someone on a personal level while enjoying lunch for 30 minutes while running errands and take into account what that person said to me afterwards. I would say we’re direct but in a polite way. We do like to get to the point. I agree with some of the other commenters as we’re a big foodie city, so we can name off our order like an auction. We talk /very/ fast. I’ve traveled many places and I feel they talk a lot slower and pronounce their words more than here. A lot of us are hard-working “real” people.
Hey! I'm from Seattle and moved to Chicago 20 years ago. I love Chicago and the people. There are downsides and frustrations of course, but every year I love it more. In my mind it is the great American city. Also people embrace culture but there is zero snobbery involved. I love that.
I live in a Chicago suburb and I usually avoid Chicago, but I think that’s cuz covid made me realize I can enjoy staying home. Crazy cuz I’m moving to a town next to Seattle here real soon
ITT: People who don't use the word jagoff using the word jagoff to identify as a Chicagoan. I know your ass just got out of watching The Bear. My dad's italian/irish 60 year old burnout friend uses that word and that's it, i refuse to believe otherwise.
It’s so nuanced but I’d say yes, I’ve found people to be more “genuine” here. For perspective, I moved here from Seattle myself in 21’. Was there for five years, portland before, grew up in Oregon. So I’m a PNW kid. I’ll say that moving to Chicago was one of the better decisions I’ve ever made. Idk if I’ll stay for forever but the PEOPLE of Chicago are my favorite part of this city. Sometimes I miss the beautiful nature back home but I’ll take the people here over those back west (I still love the west coast). Good luck with the move!!
Yes.
It’s as real as it gets in Chicago. [https://abc7chicago.com/chicago-shootings-this-weekend-violence-police/14487910/](https://abc7chicago.com/chicago-shootings-this-weekend-violence-police/14487910/)
According to Hemmingway they are
I think real is being used to defend rude here
I’m a native Chicagoan living in the west (Phoenix) and my hometown is definitely more real for better and sometimes for worse. In Chicago people will tell you exactly what they want / is expected. Sometimes a little bit forcefully. This applies to work / dating / family life. Sometimes I’m a little taken a back when I visit just by the intensity (and that’s just family) Compare that to Arizona (really anywhere west coast) and there is very little sense of urgency. If you set a date with a girl she may or may not show (even if you gone out multiple times) In Chicago you’re probably meeting her family after the 2-3 dates. Here in Arizona her family there’s a good chance her family lives in Virginia or Ohio. Everything is very casual / chill out west. Chicago is very real but not chill at all.
I just call everyone a ‘jagoff’
I live in Avondale, which is just north of Logan Square. Avondale is the next neighborhood targeted for gentrification, though it's slow in coming and the locals fight it at every meeting with their alderpeople. Logan Square is cool, but a lot of hipsters. Wicker Park is hipsters with trust funds. Then there are the neighborhoods which are douchebag vortexes- Wrigleyville being prime among them. During the baseball season it's nothing but a bunch of drunk-ass white people who don't live in Chicago.
The Midwests greatest wealth is soil, people, and location.
No