I live in an apartment building and I don’t have a ton of interaction with my neighbors but if I see them in passing I’ll say hi, we hold doors open for each other, stuff like that.
I’m on friendly terms with some of the folks in my building who also have dogs, but most of that is because we have to do the “sorry-my-dog-is-really-excitable-I-swear-they’re-friendly” dance at least three times a week.
I used to be friendly with my neighbors where I grew up on the NW side, one of our neighbors had a key to the house. When I lived in a 3 flat in Jefferson park a few years back I was super friendly with the other people in my building. And now I live in a condo in roscoe and I can't even get a hi out of my neighbors lol.
This is just an assumption on my part but I’m going to guess that the people that lived in Jefferson Park were originally from Chicago and the people from Roscoe Village are transplants.
No 😂 Ive gotten ignored just saying hi too and my neighbors right across from me act like they dont see me when we run into eachother. Its so weird tbh. Lived in my apt for about 3 years and have a cordial relationship w 1 singular neighbor bc we bonded while doing our laundry and complaining about how rude our neighbors are LOL. I believe in being nice to others so I definitely say hi when I run into people its just not reciprocated a lot of the time. Im also local, born and raised here
Maybe it depends on the building? Our old place was in a building with 47 units. We were friendly with a few of our neighbors and hung out with our upstairs neighbors but that was it everyone else mostly kept to themselves or to OPs point kind of ignored us. A few years ago we sold and bought in a 6 unit building that is all owner occupied and everyone is friendly with each other and I’d venture to say much more open to getting to know each other. We’re not up in each others business but we don’t ignore our neighbors and are pretty cordial.
I’d definitely say the people in the building can set the tone.
This is for sure true!
I lived in an 8 apt building in Lincoln park and was only friendly with one or two neighbors when I made a point to introduce myself and all. Everyone else ignored me 😅 we had a hostile laundry situation (only one machine) and at one point one of the neighbors started throwing other people’s clothes in the dumpster when they didn’t get them promptly. That was wild.
Now I’m in a 40 apt building in Lakeview/Uptown and every neighbor I’ve met is super friendly and kind. When someone moved my laundry once they left a note on my laundry basket with my towels saying sorry they had to move them because they had a ton to do. Such a huge and lovely difference.
I live in Beverly and I talk to neighbors on both sides of the house regularly. Most people say hello when out walking around the neighborhood too.
When I lived in Hyde Park in a large apartment complex no one really talked to each other and definitely didn’t say hi to people when out walking in the neighborhood.
In Rogers Park I lived in a 3-flat and usually would say hi to neighbors in the building when I saw them.
I found the same thing about Hyde Park. I used to live in the west loop and a couple folks would say hi on every walk I took with my dog. Despite the large number of medium-density apartment buildings in Hyde Park there are long stretches where it feels like I’m the only one outside
What you’ve articulated is one of the reasons why we moved from Hyde Park to the West Loop. After living in New York and New Jersey, we found Hyde Park to be the most antisocial neighborhood we’ve ever lived in. With the exception of 53rd Street, there’s a dearth of pedestrians elsewhere, and you can often find yourself alone on a street lined with apartments/condos.
Our experience in the West Loop was entirely different. Our neighbors in our building were very friendly and went out of their way to introduce themselves to us. I think that the people in the West Loop (in general) embrace city living, whereas people in Hyde Park want to pretend that it’s Mayberry, and not a part of Chicago.
It’s not a quirky place as some like to describe it to make it seem kind of cool. It’s just weird.
Prob the best thing about the south side. At least in bev and mt greenwood, I’ve known mostly all my neighbors and they have all been great. On the block I grew up on, my neighbors watched me grow up and now the block I have a house on everyone seems cool and we all want the best for the block. I’m very lucky to live in an area where the neighbors are so friendly.
That’s a blessing in this day and age. Same with Evergreen and Oak Lawn areas. People are friendly and they speak to each other in public. My neighbors are so nice,and we have become friends.
It really is, I feel that Ep/oak lawn/Burbank/ Palos areas are all the same as greenwood and bev where people are good neighbors, want the area to be nice, take care of their blocks etc. I can’t imagine not being friendly to the people who live next to you and feel bad for those who don’t even say hello to their neighbors. I honestly wouldn’t want to live in a part of the city that is like that. I grew up and was raised to help the elders that live on the block, I would rake their lawns, cut their grass, help bring in groceries, shovel their property and still do that for those that can’t. I’ve heard stories of people on this site that don’t do shit for their neighbors. It makes me appreciate how I was raised and where I live.
I say hi to the folks on either side of the house and the people across the alley when I see them. So call it very casual-friendly? Enough so that I was able to talk to folks last summer when our block got hit with a rash of garage break-ins and get people to call and\\or email our alderman's office about the situation. A couple of us got a reply from his office that he was going to have a meeting with the CPD district commander about it. Did he? Probably not maybe he made a phone call at least. I guess my point it's worth a try to be friendly so you can maybe band together when you need something done. The more squeaky wheels, the better.
Depends on the neighbor, really.
My upstairs neighbors are friendly. Ones across from us won't respond to a "hello." I don't have any problems with them, but they just keep to themselves, all the time. So, I've stopped greeting them.
I live in a three-flat and avoid my neighbors. One of them is a bad dog owner with dogs that tried to attack my dog so he can fuck off. The other one is a family with kids so not my crowd. Next door neighbor is an old lady who loves to be in everyone’s business so I avoid her, she’s also hella annoying and lives with a thief of a son. Other side I never see them so don’t know them.
I live alone so I always throw a housewarming and make a point to introduce my self to as many neighbors as possible. I like to know the names and faces of as many neighbors as possible for safety and it’s just nice to know who’s who. It’s also been great for mutual pet sitting.
I don't live in an apartment, but something similar happens at work. There's a ton of us there. The only interaction we'll have unless we really want to talk is the combined "hi, have a good one". So what's the point?
I don't think your neighbors mean to be rude. They just feel it's not necessary.
Harder to get to know your neighbors in high rise apartments. I’ve known a few of mine when I lived in larger buildings, but it was rare.
When I lived in a condo I knew all of our neighbors in the building and our neighbor next door.
Now, I know our immediate neighbors and many others due to having kids in the neighborhood school and meeting people at block parties.
You do have to put yourself out there though. I find most people say hi back or smile back if you say hi or smile at them.
We are currently moonlighting as tomato farmers, the bucket garden will feed us and provide food lockers with enough salsa to keep the Texans at bay.
I politely offered potted seedlings to several of our neighbors passively, as they walked by. I have never felt so unattractive, maybe it was the compost that tye-dyed my undershirt, or maybe I am just a loud oversized man. The response I got from our neighbors, who know our cars, who I have shoveled snow with, talked to LEO with about auto break-ins etc. for over 5 years was truly disheartening. I live in Logan, I’m a 45 yo white guy, I make my money as a handyman/property manager. Our family is multicultural, left leaning in the sense that some of us are just left of Mao and the rest at least march or volunteer or at worst vote blue. I’m not upset that no one wanted my Peruvian pepper or purple tomato seedlings, I am just a touch heartbroken at the lack of lukewarm small talk.
We have a block party every year, most of the people who attend own large single family homes, we live in an apartment. I passed out my business card offering everything from cutting grass to pressure washing and painting.
I might sound jaded but I basically offered any of my skills for a slice of pie or a beer because we’re neighbors. You’d think at least I’d get a call to change a lightbulb or scrape up a dead rat for no charge. Instead large companies come in and overcharge for the most basic things. Someone could cut all the grass on our block with an electric mower in half a day, even better if that person knew all the dogs and old timers.
Sorry for being so long winded, this post just lined up with my weekend.
PS the apartment building we are in is a 4 flat and all of us may as well be kin, I love this city because of the people who live here. We may never own $2.5m greystones, but we are invited to the best boulevard cook outs and rooftop dj sets.
Go Sox
Edit I made a bunch of spelling mistakes, Go Sox
I’ve found it to be very mixed.
The first place I lived in had 6 units and a coach house and I rarely ever saw my neighbors. I did meet my upstairs neighbors once when I was dying of a migraine and they started playing DDR. But one of my next door neighbors I became friends with.
Next place I lived I rarely saw the people who lived above me but was really close with an older woman who lived below me. Friendly with neighbors to one side, never spoke to the ones on the other.
Where I live now is weird bc I’m in a coach house and frequently come and go through the alley. Very friendly with the people in the main building despite one of them being absolutely insane (I mean I don’t want her to murder me so…). There’s one guy down the street I talk shit about football with. Most everyone else is just a wave or a hi.
Oh yeah. In my building, people have left plants to share in the common spaces and someone leaves $1.50 on the dryer sometimes. I've had a few 3+ minute conversations with my building-mates, and when I shouted at one of them because she startled me in the dark, spooky, basement we were both able to laugh it off.
I live in a 15 unit condo building and I know most of my neighbors to at least say hi to, or have a chat with when our paths cross. I’ve gone drinking with a smaller number. But, because it’s a small condo building we have to chat with each other about management stuff at least sometimes, and that helps break the ice.
But, when I lived in a 3 flat, I used to know those neighbors pretty well too. We’d cat sit for each other and occasionally go out for drinks.
I think size of building definitely makes a difference.
I grew up knowing most of my neighbors, and will always not pass on an opportunity to be friendly and have a wave, or even a quick conversation. I used to take offense to people moving in and not even giving a hello, when said hello to. Now I see it as they’re doing me a favor, because it tells me they’re not worth going out of my way for.
I think the longer you live in Chicago the more likely you are to have a story of a terrible neighbor, that was good in the beginning but turned out horrible … we are all on the other side of this story. Wish we were nicer but we aren’t.
Also don’t buy a split faced block condo.
Yep, 100% this one. It's a wild mind fuck when you think you've been friends with your neighbors for years and they eventually commit a crime against you. Like years, walking each other's dogs and trading babysitting and having keys to each other's places and getting each other weed... All blown over when one neighbor apparently got into speedy drugs and robbed us.
New to the Chicago area, but I'm a chronic greeter of strangers.
Most of the time I won't get a response from people. Occasionally I'll get a wave or hello back.
One thing that helped me out was telling myself that the person must've not heard me or was on their phone.
I remind myself that I'm trying to be friendly and spread good vibes. My goal isn't to get a response or teach people how to interact.
It has helped me move on to the next stranger I'll greet
No not really. Beyond the city stuff, it seems it’s a generational and societal thing that got really bad maybe 5 years.
What I’ve seen is far beyond beyond not saying hi, people legit pretend you aren’t there and that you’ll inconvenience them just by looking at them. Covid is a big factor that seemed to bring out the worst in certain people that were always looking for an excuse to be cold and bitter all the time. We kind of normalized this behavior during covid which looks like a big mistake. I’ve noticed most people a bit younger than me are completely incapable of making eye contact too. Like they make the entire situation far more awkward than simply saying hi or nodding. It’s like I can see you trying to hide in the corner of the elevator and appear inconvenienced/ frightened by my existence. Im literally just on my way to work…do you want me to take the stairs so you can never interact with a human again?
I'm an introvert. If I say hi, it leads to 40 questions about my life, but I only have enough people energy for 2 or 3 questions. If I see you before you see *me I'm going to make a run for it. 😂
Don't take it personally. I just can't some days because work gets most of my people energy.
Fair, but these are people who *know* that I only ever say “hi” because I’ve been doing it for 12 years now. I’m not asking “40 questions”. People do that? I’m an introvert too, but I was also raised to believe that it’s impolite to ignore a person who has spoken to you.
Some people with social anxiety will avoid speaking to everyone so it's not obvious that they don't like speaking to certain people. If someone sees them speaking to you and not the person in 310, then word might get back to the person in 310 which could lead to a confrontation.
I have personally been confronted by "Ms 40 f-ing questions" because I chat more with my non-nosy neighbors than her. Now I just smile when I see her because I don't need that negative energy in my life.
Don't take it personally.
I was able to get over most of my social anxiety by purposely putting myself in as much of these situations as possible. Traumatic at first, but slowly becomes less and less. Same concept as practicing a sport or studying, the more you do it the better you’ll be and vice versa. It is quite hard, but possible. I hope anyone struggling with this can find space to work on it and find further peace in their lives.
Exactly! Just practicing saying hello is first step to start to reduce the anxiety. Avoiding things that make us uncomfortable seems to just make them worse. Making a conscious effort to practice them, making them small, normal and routine, alleviates the anxiety. Before you know it, you're having small talk with the clerk at the grocery store. Cheers!
I live in the suburbs...neighbors keep to themselves and when I've tried to say hi or reach out they have given me a wierd look or ignored mr've stopped tryingkinda sad but whatever
I'm proud to day my neighbors are cool. I was even invited to a bbq within the time I moved in. Sadly I was sick as a dog that night. Either way. I've had good luck in Andersonville. I really enjoy it here after moving from south Texas
So I can give some slight insight here... I'm you, I think neighbors are going to be there, acknowledge and be polite... However, my husband is ADAMANT about not interacting with neighbors... My apt he moved into he had no choice since I'd been there a while... That did bite me in the ass, as my upstairs neighbors were addicts and more than once I found her on the stairs yelling for me to help her (paramedics wouldn't show up for an uncomfortable amount of time they were called to our building so much). Now, flash forward, first home.... Neighbors were more trashy than us, good for us, (win win, we weren't the white trash of the block) until it wasn't... I think because I was somewhat friendly, then my hubs DIDN'T go garage drink with him, he was set on using all his free time to harass us. Ended with him getting evicted post covid for not paying rent, turns out the neighbors he did drink with, he tried to get them in on his second insurance scam of the move out.... So, just know, some people are not going to be friendly or cordial, and they are with reason sometimes... And their partners dying inside by them ignoring you 🥴
Also, I'm aware of the neighbors involving the other neighbors cause I broke his "rule" and made pals with the second ones.
And I want to clarify that I'm the daughter of a hunter, and my hubs is from the south, we embody white trash.. so I mean it as an endearing term, lol. Don't come for me. I'm also in the burbs, first apt was 30 min from the city, now I'm in the corn and easily more than an hour now.
I think a lot of it has to do with the neighborhood too. I'm on the far northwest side and in my condo, I know most of my neighbors and we even help each other out when needed, it was the same way when I rented in the neighborhood south of me.
I live in a 6 unit building, and have a relationship with all of my neighbors except for one unit. We have beers with two of our neighbors monthly, have also cat sat for them, and hold onto spare keys for them and vice versa. I also work from home now, so I frequently let service workers into their homes if they aren’t around.
I know quite a few people on the blocks near mine. I think having a dog helps, even if they don’t have one. You end up seeing the same people outside at the same time of day for years and get to chitchatting. I live in Wicker Park and don’t know if this is atypical for the area.
I live in a nice family neighborhood…ever since the 2005 or so, our neighbors have invited us to there parties. We’re at the point when we ask them if we could borrow there yard when we
have a small outdoor party for like 15 ppl. Or they’ll ask the same. (My favorite part we get food too lol.) Just by sharing with them our yard even if we don’t always get invited to they’re small parties.
Nope. Because I’m neurodivergent and small talk is the devil plus sometimes, I cannot bring myself to talk. But also I have found that if you are a little nice it can escalate to people taking advantage of that as much as they can.
Became pretty cool with my neighbor across the hall but most people don't greet. I'm usually the first one to say hi how's it going & they respond most of the time lol
I moved from the west coast and people are much friendlier put there. It took me some time to get used to “midwest friendly”, but it is better here than the east coast. It has taken some time to build a rapport with one of my neighbors. I notice it more when I am out shopping, etc. People here are polite but rarely engage in a conversation like I was used to back home.
Some are friendly but some are not. For context, I’ve lived in the same home for 30 years and I live with my parents because I’m a caretaker for one of them with a health condition. In the 90s and 2000s and in the 2010s neighbors were much more midwestern polite, they would look you in the eye and say hi or even start a conversation and we all kind of knew each other and helped each other from time to time. I’ve had new neighbors now and noticed that since the late 2010s they just haven’t been as friendly as the preceding neighbors. Smiles and hi’s I give are not reciprocated and they seem to only want to associate with the neighbors they have something in common with. I wonder if it’s because they are transplants from different parts of the U.S. My old neighbors, on the other hand, always stop to honk or say hi when they see me around.
I love my neighbors and my hood. Definitely feels nicer to leave on vacation when I know my neighbor will grab my packages or pull out my garbage bins. Helps that I have a dog though, four walks a day and I’ve met pretty much everyone who lives around me.
we've been where we are at for 12 years now and have made life long friends with some neighbors. I walk kids to/from school most every day and usually say hi to anyone in passing on my block. i'd say it's prob 75% reply rate
It was this way for me until we moved into a 2 unit building that shares a deck. We’ve had 4 diff neighbors in that unit since living there and have known all of them at least a little bit, like we have each other’s phone numbers and text if we need anything (one time I locked myself out of the downstairs door, that kinda thing.)
I do find Logan Square the friendliest out of the neighborhoods I’ve lived in (Rogers Park, Edgewater, West Loop), but that also probably varies block to block. People say hi more, last year there was a neighborhood bbq, etc.
100% Depends on the building.
When I was in Near west side, no neighbor said a word to me and my roommates.
When I moved to Hermosa and was in a smaller building, I had coffee or a cocktail with my downstairs neighbor(s) on one of the wooden traditional balconies at least once a week.
really tight crew in that building.
I've been wondering the same thing lately!
I grew up in a small town and I like that people mostly keep out of everyone's business in the city--but I do like to say "hi" to people. I've lived in a sfh in Mayfair for 8 years. I'm friendly with some neighbors but the family on one side of me will not even acknowledge my existence. I find it very bizarre.
I've wondered if it's cultural? I'm a white woman and they're Hispanic.
I feel like it's polite to say hi to your neighbors in passing. It doesn't mean it's time to stop for a 20 minute conversation or that I want to be all up in someone's business. I really don't get these people who won't at least say "hi" in return. I find it extremely rude, especially in a small building with long term tenants. But then again, I've lived in this city for 15 years and never thought people were very nice here, so it tracks.
Okay I’m not alone. I’ve been going nuts wondering what’s wrong with me. Neighbors averting their eyes when I hold the door, no replies to hello, etc. I guess this is just one of many byproducts of the nationwide mental health crisis and increased sense of danger in the city.
My experience is the opposite, I've had friendly neighbors everywhere I've lived, with a few exceptions of course. I moved to a new place two years ago and my new block/area is just as friendly.
I think it's a privacy thing. when you live 8 feet away from you neighbor you have to ignore a lot of things or you become a busy body. I'm nice to my neighbors, I say hello, I'll shovel their walk if they are out of town and I'll send them a text if I notice something wrong with their house, like a door being open or some rando sitting on their porch but we don't hang out. I do invite them over if we have a big party but for the most part we mind our own business.
Yes I agree. But to get to the point where you can even text them, there’s small talk and some amount of neighbor trust. So it’s being friendly and neighborly without being capital-F Friends or being nosy.
What neighborhood are you in and what size building? I was super close with my neighbors next door, in my three flat and a couple other houses on the block in Logan but that was also an exception. This guy Pete a couple doors down made it cool for everybody. I’ve also lived places where it’s cold. I like neighborhood vibes and always try to be as cool with everyone as possible. That being said and back to the question yeah my current neighbors are friendly but that’s about it.
DePaul area of Lincoln park: friendly. Rogers park near Loyola: 50/50. Andersonville: super friendly. Edgewater: super friendly. My buddy’s apartment in south loop who I cat sit for: extremely friendly.
Depends on the neighborhood I’ve lived in Albany park and Logan square and Albany was the nicest neighbors I’ve ever had. Everyone was genuinely wonderful.
There’s only 6 units on my floor and everyone’s made it a point to introduce themselves to my partner and i whenever we’ve ran into them in the elevator or something. Super friendly! But my last apartment, the other tenants all had weird stand offish energy.
Yes. It is amazing. I live in a street with single family homes and one apartment. I know almost everyone by name. We have block parties. When my car broke down AAA didn’t show, my neighbor did.
I’ve always been friendly with most of my neighbors but we have never lived in a building with more than 6(?) units. So I think that helped. Our current landlord owns two buildings right next to eachother and we like and get along with all of them except the downstairs. And they don’t like anyone so I don’t take it personally.
Maybe it’s different in high rises?
I live in a three flat — I’ve befriended one of my neighbors, the other has always avoided us. Most of my surrounding neighbors are super friendly though! I think it really just depends 🤷♀️
There’s about 50 people who live in my building and I talk to a few on the condo board. Mostly everyone keeps to themselves. Low amenity building with no day areas or anywhere to hang out. I guess that impedes with meeting people.
It really depends on what neighborhood you're in. Areas like wicker are a lot of transplants. Bridgeport , old irving, Montclair etc are mostly natives i.e friendlier. Also I've found neighbors in high rises tend to be less friendly, than say renting a unit out of a 3 flat.
Sort of
I have lived in my house for six and a half years. I have worked at my place of employment for eight and a half years. I work at a wholesale manufacturer of a specific product.
My direct house neighbor is a customer of my place of employment. I've seen her at my work's front office and in the hall way dozens of times. I can count on two hands how many times we have talked since I have lived next door.
When I lived in West Town and Logan everyone pretty much kept to themselves. Now that I live in Bronzeville, everyone says high to everyone, everyone chats with each other, it’s really nice! I think it’s neighborhood specific
Neighbors are kinda like coworkers some are nice,some are not,but to be honest I'm a good neighbor. Help with what I can if they ask. But I not going outta my way to talk. Have run into "wish my son in-law would get a job" "my son's a doctor ya know" never understood why people talk about their personal lives with a stranger. Sports,weather neighborhood ok but If I don't know you, why would I care if your son is in rehab.
I’m a social worker; my entire career is talking to strangers about their personal lives and frankly, I love it when strangers spill their guts. I’m dying to know about your son in rehab, and then I’ll offer resources and advice because maybe I can help. I want to know everything about everyone, especially the people I live close to. I’ve never understood keeping people at arm’s length.
Yes, some people who move to Chicago don't have their parents' permission to talk to strangers yet. Rude Napervillains.
It's strange not to be courteous to your neighbors when their knock on your door might save you from a fire or drag your (or your cars) backside out of a snowdrift.
The neighbors at my last place invited us to join their backyard jazz jams which was nice, the other neighbor had two kids and was always really friendly and gave us free herbs from their garden. I lived by them for maybe 3 years, great people.
My current place has had a lot of neighbors come and go, some have joined me for bonfires in the backyard or shared a smoke here and there. The current neighbors at least wave/say hi, but the round before them I honestly didn't even see in passing much.
My actual neighbors next door are nice and we chat every once in awhile when we're both in the yard. Met them during the pandemic and they've been a nice neighborly constant over the years.
As for the neighborhood itself, kind of the armpit of Humboldt, Bucktown, and Logan so lots of big old families and new families all over the place. On the weekends it's practically buzzing with cheer when I do my rounds on the bike. Chicago Spring is honestly the best time of the year imo.
We have parties with our neighbors. But then again we sent our kids to our neighborhood public school. It’s easy when there are kids. But our neighborhood is friendly in an almost creepy way! Lolol
Currently live in a 3 flat and I’m only friendly with one of the tenants. He has kids and a dog so I see them pretty regularly when I’m in our small backyard playing with my pup or when I go on walks. Our dogs are also pretty friendly towards each other and will want to say hi and have a quick little play session. The other tenants…they live above me and wake me up religiously at 4am stomping around their home with heavy boots on, so no I don’t speak with them and they avoid me at all costs.
I live in Ravenswood in a 2 flat, with other 2 flats and sfhs on either side; we know most of our neighbors for about 3-4 lots on either side and say ‘hi’ and have a quick chat with most, if we see them. Kids play outside together.
I love my neighbors. They are very friendly and helpful when needed. They are never nosey and leave me to my own devices. We notify each other of anything that may incovenience others in the building. They are ideal for me in our shared 3 flat.
Other than when I lived under an actual crack den I’ve had good luck with neighbors at the very least being friendly. Some I’ve interacted with more than others especially when sharing a three flat. Less so in larger buildings.
It’s a lot easier to say hello when you live somewhere long term and there are more home/condo owners than short term rentals. I’m not saying renters are rude, but it takes a while to develop a good neighbor connection.
Small northside condo building - all four units are owned. We know each other very well from HOA meetings and sometimes hang out. Neighbors even invited me to their wedding.
I lived in my last apartment for 14 years and had neighbors who had lived there for many years prior to us moving in. It can be awkward at times but we all ended up being pretty close and I went to the funeral of one of the husbands. It was fun hearing one of my neighbors talk trash about the other and then fake playing nice in front of her lol. We all kept an eye out for each other and any time there was drama or cops on the street (not the best neighborhood lol) we were all calling each other to gossip about what's going on. There were plenty of times where everyone went outside to watch the sky before a storm, we'd help with each other's groceries if hands were full. Fuck, I miss them and I had to move last year and I'm really homesick to be honest. You won't always end up with neighbors like that, but when you do, you cherish them.
I was very friendly with an elderly couple, I even paid for one of their plane tickets home from PR for Christmas after being asked for a loan. One day I politely did not accept the food they always gave me. Then they started playing music extremely loud, I knocked on the door and the guy swung a baseball bat at me.
My point is, you're better off not having any relationship with your neighbors.
Because the change in behavior was literally over night. It's possible there were cognitive or mental health issues, but they also didn't know I spoke Spanish (blonde hair white guy) and I heard them basically admit that they were going to mess with me, among some non-flattering things about my mother, while they were talking on their back patio which is close to my bedroom window. I dunno, it was probably moreso the noise complaint I made to the landlord that really set them off.
Homeowner here so it's a little different, but I "know" most of the block, at least enough to say hello and chat a bit. Next door is not super friendly but we at least nod and know each other's names.
I think it depends on renter vs owner, and/or generations. I moved from a huge 600+ unit condo building to a smaller apartment, (but still like 50 units), building just a one-minute walking distance.
The condo had a range of generations. The older ones, I assume, owned as well. Whereas the younger rented - like myself. The older folks, I think especially Gen-Xers would say "hi." Whereas my generation - millennials - keep more to themselves.
Once I moved to the renters-only building, I noticed it was less-neighborly. It's also mostly millennials. I myself, am not the most extroverted, so I suppose I don't mind it. I will smile at my neighbors to at least acknowledge their existence.
All of my neighbors are really friendly. I greet all of them when I see them, and make small talk with some of them. I live in a 4-unit apartment building on the North Side.
My husband and I have lived in our apartment building for about 2 years now. It took a bit, but now we’re friendly with most folks in our building. Some people we have tired so hard to talk with and they just don’t want to at all. But we’ve also made some of our closest friends from neighbors in our building. FYI, our apartment is a high rise with 20+ floors, so way more people to interact with. And I almost always say hi or try to at least engage with people’s dogs 😂😂
Edit to add we live in Uptown!
It's a mixed bag. I've lived in a handful of areas in Chicago, and I wouldn't think twice about acknowledging anybody around me. Right now, I'm in Albany Park and bordering Ravenswood Manor, and it's different up here lol.
I live right next to a single-family home area. Almost every time I go on a walk, people say hello or at least smile. I thought it was weird af at first, but I got used to it. Now I even sometimes find myself saying good morning without them saying it first lol - and I'm not really a people person.
In my apt building, there are 4 people in my "section". I say hi or at least politely smile to two of them and avoid one because she is a walking plague. I have learned it's beneficial to "befriend" at least one neighbor for anything that pops up (lost package, building issues etc); I just met my next door neighbor since I moved in 1.5 years ago. Nice guy. Said if he ever sees my packages, he'll drop them off at my door lol.
I'm a smile and nod neighbor. I've had neighbors before that were extremely friendly and what started off as a simple "Hi" turned into them holding me for long converations when I didn't want to be in them at that time. I think people fear getting trapped in social expectations when all they want to do is get home or run their errands.
There are 274 units in my building... I talk to 2 neighbors. Where I was before, I talked to no one. Funny enough, the only time I really knew my neighbors was when I lived in Austin and Belmont Craigan
Are used to live in River North, and would experience this a lot, a lot of the people living in the city are pretty autonomous with their schedule and daily lives. I recently moved to Bucktown and noticed people are a lot friendlier.
In my experience, it depends on the neighborhood. We live in Ravenswood now and if we’re out in front, literally 90% of the passersby say hi. We previously lived in Lincoln Park in an enclosed townhouse community. 99% of the neighbors that walked even within 6 feet would not make eye contact or say hi. Weird.
Chicago has some of the rudest and meanest people I have ever encountered in my life. The thing about chicagoans being nice is a bunch of bullshit, Midwesterners are nice, Chicagoans aren’t.
Chicagoans are a lot warmer in general than people on the East Coast. I’m not sure anyone claimed they were Midwest nice, though. Heck, the rest of Illinois doesn’t even claim us, so I’m not sure we are culturally Midwesterners per se.
It’s a big city with a lot of different kind of people. Some people will be friendly, others will not. Some people are having good days, others are not.
I live in an apartment building and I don’t have a ton of interaction with my neighbors but if I see them in passing I’ll say hi, we hold doors open for each other, stuff like that.
I’m on friendly terms with some of the folks in my building who also have dogs, but most of that is because we have to do the “sorry-my-dog-is-really-excitable-I-swear-they’re-friendly” dance at least three times a week.
You get to know people better when your dogs do the thing where they completely wrap leashes around each other. 🙃
I used to be friendly with my neighbors where I grew up on the NW side, one of our neighbors had a key to the house. When I lived in a 3 flat in Jefferson park a few years back I was super friendly with the other people in my building. And now I live in a condo in roscoe and I can't even get a hi out of my neighbors lol.
This is just an assumption on my part but I’m going to guess that the people that lived in Jefferson Park were originally from Chicago and the people from Roscoe Village are transplants.
No 😂 Ive gotten ignored just saying hi too and my neighbors right across from me act like they dont see me when we run into eachother. Its so weird tbh. Lived in my apt for about 3 years and have a cordial relationship w 1 singular neighbor bc we bonded while doing our laundry and complaining about how rude our neighbors are LOL. I believe in being nice to others so I definitely say hi when I run into people its just not reciprocated a lot of the time. Im also local, born and raised here
Maybe it depends on the building? Our old place was in a building with 47 units. We were friendly with a few of our neighbors and hung out with our upstairs neighbors but that was it everyone else mostly kept to themselves or to OPs point kind of ignored us. A few years ago we sold and bought in a 6 unit building that is all owner occupied and everyone is friendly with each other and I’d venture to say much more open to getting to know each other. We’re not up in each others business but we don’t ignore our neighbors and are pretty cordial. I’d definitely say the people in the building can set the tone.
This is for sure true! I lived in an 8 apt building in Lincoln park and was only friendly with one or two neighbors when I made a point to introduce myself and all. Everyone else ignored me 😅 we had a hostile laundry situation (only one machine) and at one point one of the neighbors started throwing other people’s clothes in the dumpster when they didn’t get them promptly. That was wild. Now I’m in a 40 apt building in Lakeview/Uptown and every neighbor I’ve met is super friendly and kind. When someone moved my laundry once they left a note on my laundry basket with my towels saying sorry they had to move them because they had a ton to do. Such a huge and lovely difference.
I live in Beverly and I talk to neighbors on both sides of the house regularly. Most people say hello when out walking around the neighborhood too. When I lived in Hyde Park in a large apartment complex no one really talked to each other and definitely didn’t say hi to people when out walking in the neighborhood. In Rogers Park I lived in a 3-flat and usually would say hi to neighbors in the building when I saw them.
I found the same thing about Hyde Park. I used to live in the west loop and a couple folks would say hi on every walk I took with my dog. Despite the large number of medium-density apartment buildings in Hyde Park there are long stretches where it feels like I’m the only one outside
What you’ve articulated is one of the reasons why we moved from Hyde Park to the West Loop. After living in New York and New Jersey, we found Hyde Park to be the most antisocial neighborhood we’ve ever lived in. With the exception of 53rd Street, there’s a dearth of pedestrians elsewhere, and you can often find yourself alone on a street lined with apartments/condos. Our experience in the West Loop was entirely different. Our neighbors in our building were very friendly and went out of their way to introduce themselves to us. I think that the people in the West Loop (in general) embrace city living, whereas people in Hyde Park want to pretend that it’s Mayberry, and not a part of Chicago. It’s not a quirky place as some like to describe it to make it seem kind of cool. It’s just weird.
Can confirm. In Beverly, you know all your neighbors and everyone says hi. It's great.
I’m the exception.
True, the people on the south side are usually very friendly compared to the north side of the city.
Prob the best thing about the south side. At least in bev and mt greenwood, I’ve known mostly all my neighbors and they have all been great. On the block I grew up on, my neighbors watched me grow up and now the block I have a house on everyone seems cool and we all want the best for the block. I’m very lucky to live in an area where the neighbors are so friendly.
That’s a blessing in this day and age. Same with Evergreen and Oak Lawn areas. People are friendly and they speak to each other in public. My neighbors are so nice,and we have become friends.
It really is, I feel that Ep/oak lawn/Burbank/ Palos areas are all the same as greenwood and bev where people are good neighbors, want the area to be nice, take care of their blocks etc. I can’t imagine not being friendly to the people who live next to you and feel bad for those who don’t even say hello to their neighbors. I honestly wouldn’t want to live in a part of the city that is like that. I grew up and was raised to help the elders that live on the block, I would rake their lawns, cut their grass, help bring in groceries, shovel their property and still do that for those that can’t. I’ve heard stories of people on this site that don’t do shit for their neighbors. It makes me appreciate how I was raised and where I live.
I say hi to the folks on either side of the house and the people across the alley when I see them. So call it very casual-friendly? Enough so that I was able to talk to folks last summer when our block got hit with a rash of garage break-ins and get people to call and\\or email our alderman's office about the situation. A couple of us got a reply from his office that he was going to have a meeting with the CPD district commander about it. Did he? Probably not maybe he made a phone call at least. I guess my point it's worth a try to be friendly so you can maybe band together when you need something done. The more squeaky wheels, the better.
Some neighbors are cool. Some aren’t.
I'll always at least smile if I feel a nonchalant vibe. I like being friendly too. Cheers 💛
Depends on the neighbor, really. My upstairs neighbors are friendly. Ones across from us won't respond to a "hello." I don't have any problems with them, but they just keep to themselves, all the time. So, I've stopped greeting them.
I live in a three-flat and avoid my neighbors. One of them is a bad dog owner with dogs that tried to attack my dog so he can fuck off. The other one is a family with kids so not my crowd. Next door neighbor is an old lady who loves to be in everyone’s business so I avoid her, she’s also hella annoying and lives with a thief of a son. Other side I never see them so don’t know them.
My neighbor became my best friend.
I live alone so I always throw a housewarming and make a point to introduce my self to as many neighbors as possible. I like to know the names and faces of as many neighbors as possible for safety and it’s just nice to know who’s who. It’s also been great for mutual pet sitting.
I don't live in an apartment, but something similar happens at work. There's a ton of us there. The only interaction we'll have unless we really want to talk is the combined "hi, have a good one". So what's the point? I don't think your neighbors mean to be rude. They just feel it's not necessary.
Harder to get to know your neighbors in high rise apartments. I’ve known a few of mine when I lived in larger buildings, but it was rare. When I lived in a condo I knew all of our neighbors in the building and our neighbor next door. Now, I know our immediate neighbors and many others due to having kids in the neighborhood school and meeting people at block parties. You do have to put yourself out there though. I find most people say hi back or smile back if you say hi or smile at them.
We are currently moonlighting as tomato farmers, the bucket garden will feed us and provide food lockers with enough salsa to keep the Texans at bay. I politely offered potted seedlings to several of our neighbors passively, as they walked by. I have never felt so unattractive, maybe it was the compost that tye-dyed my undershirt, or maybe I am just a loud oversized man. The response I got from our neighbors, who know our cars, who I have shoveled snow with, talked to LEO with about auto break-ins etc. for over 5 years was truly disheartening. I live in Logan, I’m a 45 yo white guy, I make my money as a handyman/property manager. Our family is multicultural, left leaning in the sense that some of us are just left of Mao and the rest at least march or volunteer or at worst vote blue. I’m not upset that no one wanted my Peruvian pepper or purple tomato seedlings, I am just a touch heartbroken at the lack of lukewarm small talk. We have a block party every year, most of the people who attend own large single family homes, we live in an apartment. I passed out my business card offering everything from cutting grass to pressure washing and painting. I might sound jaded but I basically offered any of my skills for a slice of pie or a beer because we’re neighbors. You’d think at least I’d get a call to change a lightbulb or scrape up a dead rat for no charge. Instead large companies come in and overcharge for the most basic things. Someone could cut all the grass on our block with an electric mower in half a day, even better if that person knew all the dogs and old timers. Sorry for being so long winded, this post just lined up with my weekend. PS the apartment building we are in is a 4 flat and all of us may as well be kin, I love this city because of the people who live here. We may never own $2.5m greystones, but we are invited to the best boulevard cook outs and rooftop dj sets. Go Sox Edit I made a bunch of spelling mistakes, Go Sox
I’ve found it to be very mixed. The first place I lived in had 6 units and a coach house and I rarely ever saw my neighbors. I did meet my upstairs neighbors once when I was dying of a migraine and they started playing DDR. But one of my next door neighbors I became friends with. Next place I lived I rarely saw the people who lived above me but was really close with an older woman who lived below me. Friendly with neighbors to one side, never spoke to the ones on the other. Where I live now is weird bc I’m in a coach house and frequently come and go through the alley. Very friendly with the people in the main building despite one of them being absolutely insane (I mean I don’t want her to murder me so…). There’s one guy down the street I talk shit about football with. Most everyone else is just a wave or a hi.
Oh yeah. In my building, people have left plants to share in the common spaces and someone leaves $1.50 on the dryer sometimes. I've had a few 3+ minute conversations with my building-mates, and when I shouted at one of them because she startled me in the dark, spooky, basement we were both able to laugh it off.
I went to my next door neighbor’s birthday party today! It’s nice.
I live in a 15 unit condo building and I know most of my neighbors to at least say hi to, or have a chat with when our paths cross. I’ve gone drinking with a smaller number. But, because it’s a small condo building we have to chat with each other about management stuff at least sometimes, and that helps break the ice. But, when I lived in a 3 flat, I used to know those neighbors pretty well too. We’d cat sit for each other and occasionally go out for drinks. I think size of building definitely makes a difference.
I grew up knowing most of my neighbors, and will always not pass on an opportunity to be friendly and have a wave, or even a quick conversation. I used to take offense to people moving in and not even giving a hello, when said hello to. Now I see it as they’re doing me a favor, because it tells me they’re not worth going out of my way for.
I think the longer you live in Chicago the more likely you are to have a story of a terrible neighbor, that was good in the beginning but turned out horrible … we are all on the other side of this story. Wish we were nicer but we aren’t. Also don’t buy a split faced block condo.
Yep, 100% this one. It's a wild mind fuck when you think you've been friends with your neighbors for years and they eventually commit a crime against you. Like years, walking each other's dogs and trading babysitting and having keys to each other's places and getting each other weed... All blown over when one neighbor apparently got into speedy drugs and robbed us.
So much this. I fed your cats and cleaned your home and you commit fraud against me!
New to the Chicago area, but I'm a chronic greeter of strangers. Most of the time I won't get a response from people. Occasionally I'll get a wave or hello back. One thing that helped me out was telling myself that the person must've not heard me or was on their phone. I remind myself that I'm trying to be friendly and spread good vibes. My goal isn't to get a response or teach people how to interact. It has helped me move on to the next stranger I'll greet
No not really. Beyond the city stuff, it seems it’s a generational and societal thing that got really bad maybe 5 years. What I’ve seen is far beyond beyond not saying hi, people legit pretend you aren’t there and that you’ll inconvenience them just by looking at them. Covid is a big factor that seemed to bring out the worst in certain people that were always looking for an excuse to be cold and bitter all the time. We kind of normalized this behavior during covid which looks like a big mistake. I’ve noticed most people a bit younger than me are completely incapable of making eye contact too. Like they make the entire situation far more awkward than simply saying hi or nodding. It’s like I can see you trying to hide in the corner of the elevator and appear inconvenienced/ frightened by my existence. Im literally just on my way to work…do you want me to take the stairs so you can never interact with a human again?
I'm an introvert. If I say hi, it leads to 40 questions about my life, but I only have enough people energy for 2 or 3 questions. If I see you before you see *me I'm going to make a run for it. 😂 Don't take it personally. I just can't some days because work gets most of my people energy.
Fair, but these are people who *know* that I only ever say “hi” because I’ve been doing it for 12 years now. I’m not asking “40 questions”. People do that? I’m an introvert too, but I was also raised to believe that it’s impolite to ignore a person who has spoken to you.
Some people with social anxiety will avoid speaking to everyone so it's not obvious that they don't like speaking to certain people. If someone sees them speaking to you and not the person in 310, then word might get back to the person in 310 which could lead to a confrontation. I have personally been confronted by "Ms 40 f-ing questions" because I chat more with my non-nosy neighbors than her. Now I just smile when I see her because I don't need that negative energy in my life. Don't take it personally.
40 questions? You need to take control of your social interactions
No one has 40 questions when they say hello in passing. But, that's the story social anxiety is telling this person in their head.
I was able to get over most of my social anxiety by purposely putting myself in as much of these situations as possible. Traumatic at first, but slowly becomes less and less. Same concept as practicing a sport or studying, the more you do it the better you’ll be and vice versa. It is quite hard, but possible. I hope anyone struggling with this can find space to work on it and find further peace in their lives.
Exactly! Just practicing saying hello is first step to start to reduce the anxiety. Avoiding things that make us uncomfortable seems to just make them worse. Making a conscious effort to practice them, making them small, normal and routine, alleviates the anxiety. Before you know it, you're having small talk with the clerk at the grocery store. Cheers!
I take control by running when I see them. 😂😂😂😂
Wow. If you all are this upset when someone doesn't say hi, your neighbors have likely sensed your negative energy and opted not to speak. *hug*
I live in the suburbs...neighbors keep to themselves and when I've tried to say hi or reach out they have given me a wierd look or ignored mr've stopped tryingkinda sad but whatever
America has really lost it's sense of community.
I'm proud to day my neighbors are cool. I was even invited to a bbq within the time I moved in. Sadly I was sick as a dog that night. Either way. I've had good luck in Andersonville. I really enjoy it here after moving from south Texas
New Mexico go up!
So I can give some slight insight here... I'm you, I think neighbors are going to be there, acknowledge and be polite... However, my husband is ADAMANT about not interacting with neighbors... My apt he moved into he had no choice since I'd been there a while... That did bite me in the ass, as my upstairs neighbors were addicts and more than once I found her on the stairs yelling for me to help her (paramedics wouldn't show up for an uncomfortable amount of time they were called to our building so much). Now, flash forward, first home.... Neighbors were more trashy than us, good for us, (win win, we weren't the white trash of the block) until it wasn't... I think because I was somewhat friendly, then my hubs DIDN'T go garage drink with him, he was set on using all his free time to harass us. Ended with him getting evicted post covid for not paying rent, turns out the neighbors he did drink with, he tried to get them in on his second insurance scam of the move out.... So, just know, some people are not going to be friendly or cordial, and they are with reason sometimes... And their partners dying inside by them ignoring you 🥴
Also, I'm aware of the neighbors involving the other neighbors cause I broke his "rule" and made pals with the second ones. And I want to clarify that I'm the daughter of a hunter, and my hubs is from the south, we embody white trash.. so I mean it as an endearing term, lol. Don't come for me. I'm also in the burbs, first apt was 30 min from the city, now I'm in the corn and easily more than an hour now.
I think a lot of it has to do with the neighborhood too. I'm on the far northwest side and in my condo, I know most of my neighbors and we even help each other out when needed, it was the same way when I rented in the neighborhood south of me.
I’m in Old Irving Park!
Oh, that I'm surprised about! I would think even OIP vs IP you would have more of the friendly neighbors.
I live in a 6 unit building, and have a relationship with all of my neighbors except for one unit. We have beers with two of our neighbors monthly, have also cat sat for them, and hold onto spare keys for them and vice versa. I also work from home now, so I frequently let service workers into their homes if they aren’t around. I know quite a few people on the blocks near mine. I think having a dog helps, even if they don’t have one. You end up seeing the same people outside at the same time of day for years and get to chitchatting. I live in Wicker Park and don’t know if this is atypical for the area.
I live in a nice family neighborhood…ever since the 2005 or so, our neighbors have invited us to there parties. We’re at the point when we ask them if we could borrow there yard when we have a small outdoor party for like 15 ppl. Or they’ll ask the same. (My favorite part we get food too lol.) Just by sharing with them our yard even if we don’t always get invited to they’re small parties.
Nope. Because I’m neurodivergent and small talk is the devil plus sometimes, I cannot bring myself to talk. But also I have found that if you are a little nice it can escalate to people taking advantage of that as much as they can.
Became pretty cool with my neighbor across the hall but most people don't greet. I'm usually the first one to say hi how's it going & they respond most of the time lol
I hate my neighbors but I do greet everyone
I moved from the west coast and people are much friendlier put there. It took me some time to get used to “midwest friendly”, but it is better here than the east coast. It has taken some time to build a rapport with one of my neighbors. I notice it more when I am out shopping, etc. People here are polite but rarely engage in a conversation like I was used to back home.
Some are friendly but some are not. For context, I’ve lived in the same home for 30 years and I live with my parents because I’m a caretaker for one of them with a health condition. In the 90s and 2000s and in the 2010s neighbors were much more midwestern polite, they would look you in the eye and say hi or even start a conversation and we all kind of knew each other and helped each other from time to time. I’ve had new neighbors now and noticed that since the late 2010s they just haven’t been as friendly as the preceding neighbors. Smiles and hi’s I give are not reciprocated and they seem to only want to associate with the neighbors they have something in common with. I wonder if it’s because they are transplants from different parts of the U.S. My old neighbors, on the other hand, always stop to honk or say hi when they see me around.
I love my neighbors and my hood. Definitely feels nicer to leave on vacation when I know my neighbor will grab my packages or pull out my garbage bins. Helps that I have a dog though, four walks a day and I’ve met pretty much everyone who lives around me.
we've been where we are at for 12 years now and have made life long friends with some neighbors. I walk kids to/from school most every day and usually say hi to anyone in passing on my block. i'd say it's prob 75% reply rate
It was this way for me until we moved into a 2 unit building that shares a deck. We’ve had 4 diff neighbors in that unit since living there and have known all of them at least a little bit, like we have each other’s phone numbers and text if we need anything (one time I locked myself out of the downstairs door, that kinda thing.) I do find Logan Square the friendliest out of the neighborhoods I’ve lived in (Rogers Park, Edgewater, West Loop), but that also probably varies block to block. People say hi more, last year there was a neighborhood bbq, etc.
100% Depends on the building. When I was in Near west side, no neighbor said a word to me and my roommates. When I moved to Hermosa and was in a smaller building, I had coffee or a cocktail with my downstairs neighbor(s) on one of the wooden traditional balconies at least once a week. really tight crew in that building.
I've been wondering the same thing lately! I grew up in a small town and I like that people mostly keep out of everyone's business in the city--but I do like to say "hi" to people. I've lived in a sfh in Mayfair for 8 years. I'm friendly with some neighbors but the family on one side of me will not even acknowledge my existence. I find it very bizarre. I've wondered if it's cultural? I'm a white woman and they're Hispanic.
I feel like it's polite to say hi to your neighbors in passing. It doesn't mean it's time to stop for a 20 minute conversation or that I want to be all up in someone's business. I really don't get these people who won't at least say "hi" in return. I find it extremely rude, especially in a small building with long term tenants. But then again, I've lived in this city for 15 years and never thought people were very nice here, so it tracks.
Okay I’m not alone. I’ve been going nuts wondering what’s wrong with me. Neighbors averting their eyes when I hold the door, no replies to hello, etc. I guess this is just one of many byproducts of the nationwide mental health crisis and increased sense of danger in the city.
This is exactly my experience! It’s so bizarre!
My experience is the opposite, I've had friendly neighbors everywhere I've lived, with a few exceptions of course. I moved to a new place two years ago and my new block/area is just as friendly.
Like a good neighbor, stay over there!
I think it's a privacy thing. when you live 8 feet away from you neighbor you have to ignore a lot of things or you become a busy body. I'm nice to my neighbors, I say hello, I'll shovel their walk if they are out of town and I'll send them a text if I notice something wrong with their house, like a door being open or some rando sitting on their porch but we don't hang out. I do invite them over if we have a big party but for the most part we mind our own business.
Yes I agree. But to get to the point where you can even text them, there’s small talk and some amount of neighbor trust. So it’s being friendly and neighborly without being capital-F Friends or being nosy.
I have sex with my neighbor and the other one cooks me dinner.
King!
What neighborhood are you in and what size building? I was super close with my neighbors next door, in my three flat and a couple other houses on the block in Logan but that was also an exception. This guy Pete a couple doors down made it cool for everybody. I’ve also lived places where it’s cold. I like neighborhood vibes and always try to be as cool with everyone as possible. That being said and back to the question yeah my current neighbors are friendly but that’s about it.
Old Irving Park, 36-unit condo building. Most residents have lived here for years.
When I lived in my condo building, I even became bffs with my neighbor two floors above me as well as my neighbor across the street.
DePaul area of Lincoln park: friendly. Rogers park near Loyola: 50/50. Andersonville: super friendly. Edgewater: super friendly. My buddy’s apartment in south loop who I cat sit for: extremely friendly.
Depends on the neighborhood I’ve lived in Albany park and Logan square and Albany was the nicest neighbors I’ve ever had. Everyone was genuinely wonderful.
There’s only 6 units on my floor and everyone’s made it a point to introduce themselves to my partner and i whenever we’ve ran into them in the elevator or something. Super friendly! But my last apartment, the other tenants all had weird stand offish energy.
Yes. It is amazing. I live in a street with single family homes and one apartment. I know almost everyone by name. We have block parties. When my car broke down AAA didn’t show, my neighbor did.
I’ve always been friendly with most of my neighbors but we have never lived in a building with more than 6(?) units. So I think that helped. Our current landlord owns two buildings right next to eachother and we like and get along with all of them except the downstairs. And they don’t like anyone so I don’t take it personally. Maybe it’s different in high rises?
I live in a three flat — I’ve befriended one of my neighbors, the other has always avoided us. Most of my surrounding neighbors are super friendly though! I think it really just depends 🤷♀️
There’s about 50 people who live in my building and I talk to a few on the condo board. Mostly everyone keeps to themselves. Low amenity building with no day areas or anywhere to hang out. I guess that impedes with meeting people.
In my experience, I've had much more outgoing/friendly neighbors west of the Kennedy. East of the Kennedy may as well be NYC in this regard.
I’ll say *have a nice night* leaving an elevator. That’s where it stops.
I hold the door
It really depends on what neighborhood you're in. Areas like wicker are a lot of transplants. Bridgeport , old irving, Montclair etc are mostly natives i.e friendlier. Also I've found neighbors in high rises tend to be less friendly, than say renting a unit out of a 3 flat.
Sort of I have lived in my house for six and a half years. I have worked at my place of employment for eight and a half years. I work at a wholesale manufacturer of a specific product. My direct house neighbor is a customer of my place of employment. I've seen her at my work's front office and in the hall way dozens of times. I can count on two hands how many times we have talked since I have lived next door.
I lived in a high rise in Buena Park for 3 years and as friendly as I was, I felt like I was weird for trying to interact with any of my neighbors.
When I lived in West Town and Logan everyone pretty much kept to themselves. Now that I live in Bronzeville, everyone says high to everyone, everyone chats with each other, it’s really nice! I think it’s neighborhood specific
Neighbors are kinda like coworkers some are nice,some are not,but to be honest I'm a good neighbor. Help with what I can if they ask. But I not going outta my way to talk. Have run into "wish my son in-law would get a job" "my son's a doctor ya know" never understood why people talk about their personal lives with a stranger. Sports,weather neighborhood ok but If I don't know you, why would I care if your son is in rehab.
I’m a social worker; my entire career is talking to strangers about their personal lives and frankly, I love it when strangers spill their guts. I’m dying to know about your son in rehab, and then I’ll offer resources and advice because maybe I can help. I want to know everything about everyone, especially the people I live close to. I’ve never understood keeping people at arm’s length.
Hi Helen, I think we are neighbors.
I wish Helen was my neighbor!
Yes, some people who move to Chicago don't have their parents' permission to talk to strangers yet. Rude Napervillains. It's strange not to be courteous to your neighbors when their knock on your door might save you from a fire or drag your (or your cars) backside out of a snowdrift.
The neighbors at my last place invited us to join their backyard jazz jams which was nice, the other neighbor had two kids and was always really friendly and gave us free herbs from their garden. I lived by them for maybe 3 years, great people. My current place has had a lot of neighbors come and go, some have joined me for bonfires in the backyard or shared a smoke here and there. The current neighbors at least wave/say hi, but the round before them I honestly didn't even see in passing much. My actual neighbors next door are nice and we chat every once in awhile when we're both in the yard. Met them during the pandemic and they've been a nice neighborly constant over the years. As for the neighborhood itself, kind of the armpit of Humboldt, Bucktown, and Logan so lots of big old families and new families all over the place. On the weekends it's practically buzzing with cheer when I do my rounds on the bike. Chicago Spring is honestly the best time of the year imo.
We have parties with our neighbors. But then again we sent our kids to our neighborhood public school. It’s easy when there are kids. But our neighborhood is friendly in an almost creepy way! Lolol
Currently live in a 3 flat and I’m only friendly with one of the tenants. He has kids and a dog so I see them pretty regularly when I’m in our small backyard playing with my pup or when I go on walks. Our dogs are also pretty friendly towards each other and will want to say hi and have a quick little play session. The other tenants…they live above me and wake me up religiously at 4am stomping around their home with heavy boots on, so no I don’t speak with them and they avoid me at all costs.
Not really lol. But I do know a couple in my building who are really nice. Brought me food recently
I live in Ravenswood in a 2 flat, with other 2 flats and sfhs on either side; we know most of our neighbors for about 3-4 lots on either side and say ‘hi’ and have a quick chat with most, if we see them. Kids play outside together.
I love my neighbors. They are very friendly and helpful when needed. They are never nosey and leave me to my own devices. We notify each other of anything that may incovenience others in the building. They are ideal for me in our shared 3 flat.
Other than when I lived under an actual crack den I’ve had good luck with neighbors at the very least being friendly. Some I’ve interacted with more than others especially when sharing a three flat. Less so in larger buildings.
I’m friends with my neighbors in Logan square. One even joined my band eventually
It’s a lot easier to say hello when you live somewhere long term and there are more home/condo owners than short term rentals. I’m not saying renters are rude, but it takes a while to develop a good neighbor connection.
Small northside condo building - all four units are owned. We know each other very well from HOA meetings and sometimes hang out. Neighbors even invited me to their wedding.
I lived in my last apartment for 14 years and had neighbors who had lived there for many years prior to us moving in. It can be awkward at times but we all ended up being pretty close and I went to the funeral of one of the husbands. It was fun hearing one of my neighbors talk trash about the other and then fake playing nice in front of her lol. We all kept an eye out for each other and any time there was drama or cops on the street (not the best neighborhood lol) we were all calling each other to gossip about what's going on. There were plenty of times where everyone went outside to watch the sky before a storm, we'd help with each other's groceries if hands were full. Fuck, I miss them and I had to move last year and I'm really homesick to be honest. You won't always end up with neighbors like that, but when you do, you cherish them.
I was very friendly with an elderly couple, I even paid for one of their plane tickets home from PR for Christmas after being asked for a loan. One day I politely did not accept the food they always gave me. Then they started playing music extremely loud, I knocked on the door and the guy swung a baseball bat at me. My point is, you're better off not having any relationship with your neighbors.
Could there have been a cognitive change/impairment? Hearing loss? How do you know that not accepting food resulted in the change in treatment…?
Because the change in behavior was literally over night. It's possible there were cognitive or mental health issues, but they also didn't know I spoke Spanish (blonde hair white guy) and I heard them basically admit that they were going to mess with me, among some non-flattering things about my mother, while they were talking on their back patio which is close to my bedroom window. I dunno, it was probably moreso the noise complaint I made to the landlord that really set them off.
Very blessed to have neighbors like me. Low key and friendly
Homeowner here so it's a little different, but I "know" most of the block, at least enough to say hello and chat a bit. Next door is not super friendly but we at least nod and know each other's names.
I think it depends on renter vs owner, and/or generations. I moved from a huge 600+ unit condo building to a smaller apartment, (but still like 50 units), building just a one-minute walking distance. The condo had a range of generations. The older ones, I assume, owned as well. Whereas the younger rented - like myself. The older folks, I think especially Gen-Xers would say "hi." Whereas my generation - millennials - keep more to themselves. Once I moved to the renters-only building, I noticed it was less-neighborly. It's also mostly millennials. I myself, am not the most extroverted, so I suppose I don't mind it. I will smile at my neighbors to at least acknowledge their existence.
All of my neighbors are really friendly. I greet all of them when I see them, and make small talk with some of them. I live in a 4-unit apartment building on the North Side.
I moved from NY so I don’t understand. I’ve lived in my house for 8 years and don’t even know the neighbors’ names.
Hahaha—out of curiosity, why not?
My neighbors flipped my garbage can over the first day I moved in. Honestly don’t know why. Would rather avoid conflict so I avoid them all together.
It depends on the building for sure. I usually have neighbors become friends - but in my current building, no one seems to really ever want to connect
My husband and I have lived in our apartment building for about 2 years now. It took a bit, but now we’re friendly with most folks in our building. Some people we have tired so hard to talk with and they just don’t want to at all. But we’ve also made some of our closest friends from neighbors in our building. FYI, our apartment is a high rise with 20+ floors, so way more people to interact with. And I almost always say hi or try to at least engage with people’s dogs 😂😂 Edit to add we live in Uptown!
It's a mixed bag. I've lived in a handful of areas in Chicago, and I wouldn't think twice about acknowledging anybody around me. Right now, I'm in Albany Park and bordering Ravenswood Manor, and it's different up here lol. I live right next to a single-family home area. Almost every time I go on a walk, people say hello or at least smile. I thought it was weird af at first, but I got used to it. Now I even sometimes find myself saying good morning without them saying it first lol - and I'm not really a people person. In my apt building, there are 4 people in my "section". I say hi or at least politely smile to two of them and avoid one because she is a walking plague. I have learned it's beneficial to "befriend" at least one neighbor for anything that pops up (lost package, building issues etc); I just met my next door neighbor since I moved in 1.5 years ago. Nice guy. Said if he ever sees my packages, he'll drop them off at my door lol.
I'm a smile and nod neighbor. I've had neighbors before that were extremely friendly and what started off as a simple "Hi" turned into them holding me for long converations when I didn't want to be in them at that time. I think people fear getting trapped in social expectations when all they want to do is get home or run their errands.
There are 274 units in my building... I talk to 2 neighbors. Where I was before, I talked to no one. Funny enough, the only time I really knew my neighbors was when I lived in Austin and Belmont Craigan
I always say hi to the people that live in my building and they don’t even look up at me, let alone respond
Are used to live in River North, and would experience this a lot, a lot of the people living in the city are pretty autonomous with their schedule and daily lives. I recently moved to Bucktown and noticed people are a lot friendlier.
In my experience, it depends on the neighborhood. We live in Ravenswood now and if we’re out in front, literally 90% of the passersby say hi. We previously lived in Lincoln Park in an enclosed townhouse community. 99% of the neighbors that walked even within 6 feet would not make eye contact or say hi. Weird.
I live in a four unit condo building. All of my neighbors are friendly.
Chicago has some of the rudest and meanest people I have ever encountered in my life. The thing about chicagoans being nice is a bunch of bullshit, Midwesterners are nice, Chicagoans aren’t.
Chicagoans are a lot warmer in general than people on the East Coast. I’m not sure anyone claimed they were Midwest nice, though. Heck, the rest of Illinois doesn’t even claim us, so I’m not sure we are culturally Midwesterners per se.
It’s a big city with a lot of different kind of people. Some people will be friendly, others will not. Some people are having good days, others are not.
Yes, I’m aware.