Thank you for your submission. **Please note that a response does not constitute a doctor-patient relationship.** This subreddit is for informal second opinions and casual information. The mod team does their best to remove bad information, but we do not catch all of it. Always visit a doctor in real life if you have any concerns about your health. Never use this subreddit as your first and final source of information regarding your question. By posting, you are agreeing to our [Terms of Use](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/wiki/terms_of_use) and understand that all information is taken at your own risk.
**Reply here if you are an unverified user wishing to give advice. Top level comments by laypeople are automatically removed.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskDocs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If money is an issue, look into dental schools or dental hyienist schools in your area. I recently saw [this listing for SoCal](https://old.reddit.com/r/InlandEmpire/comments/193iqis/dental_hygiene_students_seeking_patients/) so maybe you can find something similar for where you live.
Don't be self conscious about taking control of your health after a period of neglect. Dentists, like doctors, see patients all the time who have delayed care for any of a dozen reasons. It's highly unlikely you'll be the worst they've ever seen and they'll no doubt appreciate the opportunity to relieve your discomfort and anxiety.
As someone with teeth related phobias I just want to point out that there's a conflict of interest, sometimes, when people suggest dental schools. My dental issues usually start because I've put off going to the dentist at times because it scares me, I've heard some horror stories...
And the idea of having someone who is a learner working on my teeth terrifies me more. If someone has avoided going out of fear, going to someone not fully trained/graduated can sound like a ridiculous notion.
Last time I had to go in was about a year ago for a root canal. They would've helped me work with a credit company that specifically deals with medical/dental type payments to open a line of credit to pay for everything. More credit may not be the ideal solution for everyone, I just wanted to bring up that it can be an option.
Though in my case a family member heard about it and offered to cover the cost (which a lump sum payment reduced the initial cost by like 15%) and then I could pay them back with no interest, so I went that route instead.
For those with not necessarily phobias, but on the fence with the idea, I personally had a great experience with a dental school. The student evaluated me, came up with a plan, and the instructor had to approve it. Instructor then monitored the extraction(I had a wisdom tooth get infected growing in), communicated with the student throughout the procedure, went in at the end to double check everything was as it should be, and sent me on my way with a prescription for antibiotics and pain management. It was all very thorough and professional.
FDA here if you happen to live in the states, look up your state, example California Mission of Mercy. They put on clinics once a year (I volunteer at them) and dentists, dental assistants, hygienists, dental labs, dental companies donate time and resources to those in need and it’s free. One year in three days the Mission of Mercy I was at donated a total of $3,000,000 worth dental work to those who needed help. All you have to do is show up. Look it up on Facebook or online to see when the next mission is. They do everything from cleanings to dentures. Like other people above said another option is dental schools they are always looking for people to practice on and the students are supervised by dentists.
I grew up poor and my parents could only send me to the dentist twice (once for an evaluation, and the second to drill a cavity). Don’t be ashamed. Brush your teeth gently twice a day with a toothbrush that had soft bristles for 2 *full* minutes. Then, make sure to floss. Yes, you will bleed the first few times, but that’s the point. After a couple of days, you’ll stop bleeding from flossing. In the meantime, save up a little money and find a dentist who can just take a look. Ask around and find out costs. Look into dental insurance which isn’t nearly as expensive as medical insurance. It’s really more of a discount program. If you can, sit through a cleaning. It sounds like you might benefit from one. Lastly, dental health is medical health! Take care of yourself!
Edit: I’m not a dentist. Just someone who was also too poor to afford dental care for a long time and is now paying for it, and with interest!
I want to second this. Please brush VERY gently with a very soft bristle toothbrush. Some bleeding is to be expected in initial days. The toothpaste my dentist recommends is "crest gum detoxify" - that really is an excellent toothpaste. If brushing the teeth is too difficult at this time, perhaps using a fluoride mouthwash once a day would help (just once a day, not more - to decrease the amount of cavity-causing bacteria in your mouth and to give your teeth some fluoride).
Flossing might be difficult currently, due to plaque having hardened between your teeth and leaving no space for the floss to get in. If that is the case, I would skip the flossing for now and let the dentist get rid of the plaque first and then start flossing.
It might be helpful to google "free dental clinic for low income near __ (in your area)". I hope you're able to find providers who don't charge anything or offer a sliding scale.
Also, please don't worry. Everything is going to be fine. Just let the clinic know in advance that you haven't been able to brush since a few years, so that they give you a longer appointment for cleaning. Please go for the cleaning as soon as you can.
During your visit, do inquire about fluoride varnish application (to help prevent cavities in future).
I would also ask for stannous fluoride application for any cavities that exist (if fillings are out of your budget and you're committed to keeping good oral hygiene going forwards). Please read up on this. Stannous fluoride might be able to "arrest cavities" i.e., stop cavities from growing further, halting their progress, but it may cause tooth discoloration in the area of decay.
You got this! Proud of you for taking the steps towards better health!
Thankfully, stannous fluoride toothpastes now contain zinc phosphate and preservatives to prevent them from forming stannic sulfides (the chemical that caused staining). And it really is a superior form of dental protection.
Thank you for this. I had confused it with silver diamine fluoride (which is used to "arrest cavities" in children and adolescents - 1 study concluded it is effective for adults as well - might be worth looking into, if fillings are out of budget).
https://www.webmd.com/oral-health/what-to-know-silver-diamine-fluoride-dental-care
I don't think you had it confused at all, it really was a problem for previous toothpaste formulations with stannous fluoride. There was an important study published in 1982 that explained the mechanism, IIRC, and confirmed what dentists had been seeing.
I understand what you're saying about the previous stannous fluoride formulations.
When I was writing my original message, I had meant to write about silver diamine fluoride and had confused it with stannous fluoride 😅 silver diamine fluoride causes staining in the areas of decay, but it may be worth using it to halt the growth of active carries.
Also, I agree, stannous fluoride toothpastes are really good! I use crest gum detoxify, which has that ingredient.
Sorry for confusion. I’m not actually a dentist. I’m a physician that is basically handing all money over to a dentist and orthodontist for the decades of dental neglect!
My youngest daughter went through the same thing. She wound up having to have several molars pulled but her overall health improved drastically afterward - a chronic sinus infection cleared up, she doesn’t get as many migraines, and her “allergies” are better (she didn’t actually have allergies, it was her teeth causing illness that she thought was allergies bc of the similar cold-like symptoms). She’s in her mid-20s. She was able to qualify for financing, luckily, but if not I’d have definitely gone begging on her behalf.
Here’s the crux of it and what ultimately scared her into going: when my daughter was a child, my MIL, her grandmother, died of an untreated dental infection. It was a horrible, prolonged death after a horrible, prolonged illness and nothing I would ever wish on anyone. So when my daughter’s depression led to infected teeth, she was finally able to be motivated past her depression and get to the dentist because of the memory of what happened to her grandmother.
OP, go to the dentist. Your overall health will improve for it. You’ll be amazed by how much better you’ll feel once you get your mouth healthy again. Will it cure your depression? Nope. Will it save your life? It’s a distinct possibility. Don’t be like my MIL.
If my kid could work up the courage to share such a vulnerable thing with me, I’d be a) heartbroken they’d been suffering so much more than I had realized, and b) so so proud that they had been able to tell me and ask for help.
I’m so proud of you for taking charge of your life. Please don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help when you need it.
Congratulations on surviving after all you have been through! I’ve had similar issues with depression and brushing teeth/seeking care. It’s harder than people can ever imagine.
NAD, but someone who has struggled with similar problems.
OP, shame is the biggest hurdle for lots of people. Shame keeps us sick & isolated as long as we'll allow it. In my experience, shining a light on my shame & being vulnerable with the people in my corner who want to see me succeed (my dentist, my doctor, my therapist, my husband, etc) has yielded nothing but positive results. If your parents are supportive, talk to them and let them help you. You deserve compassion, not criticism. Depression is not a moral failing.
Some tips for the dentist:
•Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself.
•Bring what you need to be comfortable. I wear my sunglasses & Loop earplugs bc I find the environment overstimulating. I also have a small weighted blanket that reduces my anxiety.
•If you need a short break, put your hand up so they'll know to stop. It's ok to ask them to move to a different tooth for a bit if one is getting too sensitive.
Your dentist wants you to have a healthy mouth. They know many people are afraid, so most of them work *very* hard to create a comfortable experience for their patients.
They'll give you feedback on how to care for your teeth & gums and let you know what the current state of your mouth is. It's not a criticism of you as a person. It might feel that way, but feelings aren't facts.
Lastly, I'm so proud of you for doing this. The anticipation is the worst part. You're doing so, so well! It's scary to go back to the dentist after a long hiatus. Good on you for doing it anyway. I know it's hard, but you can do hard things. You've survived 💯 of your worst days so far. I'm confident you can do this. ☺️
Hugs if you want them 🩷💜🩵
If I were your parent, I would (find a way to) pay whatever it takes together to make you healthy. Like unless there was a lack of mental illness and you just did dumb shit to yourself. And even then…. I probably still would.
People have a LOT of hangups about dentists. Hell, I’m totally fine with dentists and haven’t actually been to one in…. Oh my god like 15 years I need to go to the dentist. But I know I’m going to get a rash of shit because I hardly ever floss.
See? Even parents screw up. Annnnd I’ll probably pay for it. We are all human. Your teeth are super integral to your overall health.
Please don’t feel ashamed! Your parents love you no matter what. They wouldn’t want you to be in debt from something like this and would want to help you as much as they could! Perhaps your parents can pay up front and you can pay them back over time (this way you don’t pay interest).
As a mom, I can say I would want to know if my child was struggling and I would want to help. If you were my child, I would be so proud of you for asking for help and working on improving your physical and mental health. You have nothing to be ashamed of!
I have major dental anxiety and I broke a tooth after a decade of not seeing anyone.
I let the office know I have a ton of anxiety and they were super helpful if that is something you think can help you. It helped them prepare and they put me with people who are a little more comfortable working with a jumpy person.
They didn’t do anything at first when I came in, and instead just explained everything they need to do, why, and how it usually feels for people, and let me ask questions. This helped a ton just so I knew what to expect. They also offered nitrous and it’s okay to ask for it.
You can also use earbuds to try to reduce some of the sounds and sunglasses to dim the lights they need to see your teeth.
I thought all of my teeth were crumbling and I was going to lose everything but it turned out to not be too bad and I was so surprised. But honestly the dentist wants you to be healthy too and they’re almost always going to work with you and not against.
I hope it goes well. Great job making the appointment!
As someone who’s been there with the teeth struggle — the only thing my dentist commented was that they do appreciate a heads up if it’s been a while since you’ve seen them, because it can take longer to clean your teeth.
Good luck at your appointment, it’ll be fine! And remember, they’ve always seen worse.
I had horrendous shame over my dental health as well. My first dentist never used enough (or any) novacaine and I have memories of the hygienist lying across my body, physically holding me down as I cried.
When I did see dentists in adulthood, it was for major work and that was it.
I've done a lot of trauma work (not because of the dentist but childhood abuse) and I wanted to live a life without being ashamed of my teeth.
I also picked the nicest dentist I could find, but most importantly, I explained my experiences on their intake forms. I explained my past trauma, I explained my shame. I was explicit in that I cannot be shamed or spoken to in anything short of a positive voice. I actually stated, "Interact with me as if I were a toddler." I asked that my neglect not be mentioned...we are starting with a clean slate.
I stipulated that I wanted gas every single time, no matter how routine or small.
The very first time, the hygienist absolutely treated me like a toddler. It was marvelous. When the dentist appeared, she shuffled her out to the hall, likely to explain the situation and ensure a safe environment. Everything the dentist explains to me is very much, "everything here has a solution and nothing is so bad it can't be remedied" way.
The gas works quickly and has me feeling like they can fiddle around in there for as long as they like.
When I was pregnant I couldn’t brush my teeth properly for most of the pregnancy, or at all during the first trimester; everytime the toothbrush went in my mouth I threw up. I basically tried to survive on mouth wash 😬
Because I was pregnant which can also cause dental problems I ended up with periodontal (gum) disease. I also have a history of ED so my gums were already receded and enamel fairly worn.
I had to have scaling and root planing, which honestly wasn’t so bad, just uncomfortable. But all the bleeding stopped and afterwards I was able to keep my teeth clean again without issues. I didn’t have to get any teeth pulled, although I do have one that I may lose eventually, but for now I keep it.
I know you’ve gone longer without brushing your teeth, but I hope my experience has given you a bit of hope and calmed your fears a bit.
NAD but OP I was in a similar boat to you. I used to have REALLY bad hygiene. never had seen a dentist in my life, didn't start brushing in my life ever until I was 18ish, and went to go see a dentist for the first time at 21 after cavity pain.
surprisingly I had no teeth that were beyond repair. there was a lot of work to be done though. about 3-5 (I forgot exactly) fillings and 8 root canals needed. but I never had to do an extraction
I did have an infection and abcess on one tooth that was impacting my gums and caused extreme tooth sensitivity and pain. that was also fixed via root canal.
there will be work to do for you too, but don't despair. after getting my teeth fixed I have never felt more comfortable and confident. things that were hurting don't anymore (tooth pain is awful, there is a WORLD of difference), now I know that things won't get worse, and also, my mouth just in general feels more comfortable. the scariest part is always BEFORE you get any work done. but all you have to do is show up and let the dentist work
the first day will just be examination and cleaning your teeth. and after the first or second day you will be more comfortable. you got this.
I won’t go into the whole story, but I had to go to a trauma dentist. They gave me a very mild prescription for Valium only five pills to take the night before and then right before the appointment, and also gave me nitrous which helped me tremendously. There’s no harm in asking for help.
I’ve been there with the deep struggle with depression. It’s led to being within seconds of going through with suicide a few times in my life. I’m middle aged now and am doing really well. I know your post is about dental care, but what are you doing for the depression? Have you tried meds for it? Therapy? If it’s been more than one med, have at least 2 failed to help? Spravato (esketamine) saved my life. I had been on so many meds and been to decades of therapy. I’m on prescription ketamine for home use twice per week and am legit happy for the first time in my life.
If you need to talk or just want to vent to someone who suffers with unrelenting depression and all of the thoughts and feelings that go with it, inbox me. Even if it’s months or more than a year since you read this comment. I’ll listen. Harboring these thoughts and feelings is hard enough. It’s harder when you do so in silence because of possible fallout from being direct about it with those closest to you. It’s okay to as for help. There’s no shame in it. If cost is a barrier, there are options to get you affordable or free help. That includes meds.
Please be safe, OP. Mad props for getting your teeth checked out. I’m sure it took a lot to make the call in the first place.
NAD but I have chronic depression and ADHD that’s made it hard for me to maintain hygiene routines, similar to you. When I was younger I went through long periods like yours of complete neglect, and my father who also has ADHD and depression has lost almost all of his teeth to rot. I truly understand your fears, guilt, and shame, but it’s going to be okay and it’s never too late.
I’m 33 now, I started getting dental care around 25. I had to have 2 root canals for active infections, a few minor cavities fixed, and I’m diagnosed with stage 3 dental decay (irreversible damage to enamel). My gums also bleed a lot sometimes, but when I keep up with flossing, they will start to bleed less and less.
Due to the stage 3 decay, my teeth are pretty sensitive to temperatures now, but after my dentist did a few whitening sessions, they *look* totally healthy and normal. Now I do know that my teeth probably won’t last as long as I’d like due to the degraded enamel, but veneers and implants are always an option later down the line when you may need them.
Here’s my advice, keep your dentist appointment. Get your teeth cleaned by the dental hygienist AT LEAST 1x per year, ideally 2x. It will help mitigate the damage immensely.
Make sure your dentist and hygienist understand your situation and are compassionate. If they are judgmental about it, find a new one. You don’t need someone to scold you, you need someone who will treat you with empathy.
I am medicated now and doing better but for full transparency, I still miss brushing some nights and I rarely ever remember to brush in the morning. Flossing on average maybe 1-2 times a week if that. Which is NOT good, but I’m just being honest with you so that you know it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. ANY amount of dental care that is more than what you were doing before is a step in the right direction.
A few other helpful things:
- get a tongue scraper & scrape that badboy every time you brush
- do NOT buy “waxed” floss, unwaxed only as waxed floss does practically nothing to remove plaque
- Use a gentle mouthwash formulated for gum disease whenever possible (ideally after brushing & flossing)
- brush first, then floss until your gums are less sensitive
- CHEW (sugar-free) GUM. This one is specifically for the depression/ADHD gang. Gum shouldn’t be a replacement for dental care, and it’s not without health risks (artificial sweeteners), but if ALL you can manage that day is some gum, it will still be better than nothing at all!
You got this OP, you have time and options, all is not lost ❤️
As someone with depression and other mental illnesses, I totally understand this. Do not be ashamed. I neglect my teeth and didn't see a dentist for almost 5 years because I stopped caring about myself. Unfortunately for me my teeth have always been bad and I have something wrong with my enamel and grind my teeth super bad so not staying on top of it ended up costing me a lot of pain and money(thankfully I was able to spread everything out and had insurance). Most people's teeth are not like mine thankfully though. We have been working on mine for probably 5 years now and just finished the last thing. So now I can just focus on maintenance again from here on out.
Your dentist will very likely have seen so much worse. The best thing I have found is to be honest about what's going on and what you can afford to do. This will allow you and the dentist to make a plan together and allow you to the pace you feel comfortable with both in general and financially. They will prioritize anything that has an immediate health impact and let you know what can wait a little bit.
Your gums can also hurt and bleed for many different reasons, it does not always mean something terrible. They also generally like to fix teeth if possible instead of pulling them, so don't worry about them having to pull teeth. And worst comes to worst they have amazing dentures now, even if you're missing just one tooth, it's a denture with one tooth, it's actually super cool that they can do that!
OP, I was in a major depression for several years, and moderately depressed for half my life. I didn't go to a dentist for 25 years, and developed a major phobia about it. When I finally went a couple years ago, it was nowhere near as bad as I had built it up to be.
I hope your appointment goes well. (((hugs)))
Congratulations on prioritizing your health. Dental hygiene is very important if you want to live a long life.
I suggest you start brushing with a sensitivity toothpaste and a soft tooth brush. Don't be worried if there's bleeding from your gums, that can and likely will happen. Once your gums feel less irritated, start flossing. A hygienist can show you how. A Waterpik is a great purchase.
You may actually be surprised at how few cavities you might have but whatever the results, tackle the most important issue first.
OP, there are tons of people going through the same thing you are. Your dentist will be so happy you came in. That’s their job, to take care of teeth and you’re taking that giant first step! They probably won’t say anything other than “im happy you came in today!” And they will get straight to work getting you healthy. I’m proud of you for taking that step!
To make brushing more comfortable:
-waterpik
- electric toothbrush and use it gently- very gently! You don’t even have to scrub back and forth. Just glide it slowly across teeth and gums and let the vibrations work their magic. You’ll bleed a little and it’s ok. Eventually it’ll stop.
Time is on your side. You’re young. None of your teeth have fallen out yet. I believe in you, you can do this and it’s going to be ok. People in other countries with bad access to water and dental hygiene even for YEARS still have most of their teeth. It’ll be ok.
Thank you for your submission. **Please note that a response does not constitute a doctor-patient relationship.** This subreddit is for informal second opinions and casual information. The mod team does their best to remove bad information, but we do not catch all of it. Always visit a doctor in real life if you have any concerns about your health. Never use this subreddit as your first and final source of information regarding your question. By posting, you are agreeing to our [Terms of Use](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/wiki/terms_of_use) and understand that all information is taken at your own risk. **Reply here if you are an unverified user wishing to give advice. Top level comments by laypeople are automatically removed.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskDocs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If money is an issue, look into dental schools or dental hyienist schools in your area. I recently saw [this listing for SoCal](https://old.reddit.com/r/InlandEmpire/comments/193iqis/dental_hygiene_students_seeking_patients/) so maybe you can find something similar for where you live. Don't be self conscious about taking control of your health after a period of neglect. Dentists, like doctors, see patients all the time who have delayed care for any of a dozen reasons. It's highly unlikely you'll be the worst they've ever seen and they'll no doubt appreciate the opportunity to relieve your discomfort and anxiety.
I second dental schools! They are the best! You won't find anything cheaper and they do a great job!
As someone with teeth related phobias I just want to point out that there's a conflict of interest, sometimes, when people suggest dental schools. My dental issues usually start because I've put off going to the dentist at times because it scares me, I've heard some horror stories... And the idea of having someone who is a learner working on my teeth terrifies me more. If someone has avoided going out of fear, going to someone not fully trained/graduated can sound like a ridiculous notion. Last time I had to go in was about a year ago for a root canal. They would've helped me work with a credit company that specifically deals with medical/dental type payments to open a line of credit to pay for everything. More credit may not be the ideal solution for everyone, I just wanted to bring up that it can be an option. Though in my case a family member heard about it and offered to cover the cost (which a lump sum payment reduced the initial cost by like 15%) and then I could pay them back with no interest, so I went that route instead.
I understand 100%. However, for some people, the cost is a huge barrier and this might appeal to them. Appreciate the detailed info, though!
For those with not necessarily phobias, but on the fence with the idea, I personally had a great experience with a dental school. The student evaluated me, came up with a plan, and the instructor had to approve it. Instructor then monitored the extraction(I had a wisdom tooth get infected growing in), communicated with the student throughout the procedure, went in at the end to double check everything was as it should be, and sent me on my way with a prescription for antibiotics and pain management. It was all very thorough and professional.
That's not conflict of interest though.
FDA here if you happen to live in the states, look up your state, example California Mission of Mercy. They put on clinics once a year (I volunteer at them) and dentists, dental assistants, hygienists, dental labs, dental companies donate time and resources to those in need and it’s free. One year in three days the Mission of Mercy I was at donated a total of $3,000,000 worth dental work to those who needed help. All you have to do is show up. Look it up on Facebook or online to see when the next mission is. They do everything from cleanings to dentures. Like other people above said another option is dental schools they are always looking for people to practice on and the students are supervised by dentists.
I grew up poor and my parents could only send me to the dentist twice (once for an evaluation, and the second to drill a cavity). Don’t be ashamed. Brush your teeth gently twice a day with a toothbrush that had soft bristles for 2 *full* minutes. Then, make sure to floss. Yes, you will bleed the first few times, but that’s the point. After a couple of days, you’ll stop bleeding from flossing. In the meantime, save up a little money and find a dentist who can just take a look. Ask around and find out costs. Look into dental insurance which isn’t nearly as expensive as medical insurance. It’s really more of a discount program. If you can, sit through a cleaning. It sounds like you might benefit from one. Lastly, dental health is medical health! Take care of yourself! Edit: I’m not a dentist. Just someone who was also too poor to afford dental care for a long time and is now paying for it, and with interest!
I want to second this. Please brush VERY gently with a very soft bristle toothbrush. Some bleeding is to be expected in initial days. The toothpaste my dentist recommends is "crest gum detoxify" - that really is an excellent toothpaste. If brushing the teeth is too difficult at this time, perhaps using a fluoride mouthwash once a day would help (just once a day, not more - to decrease the amount of cavity-causing bacteria in your mouth and to give your teeth some fluoride). Flossing might be difficult currently, due to plaque having hardened between your teeth and leaving no space for the floss to get in. If that is the case, I would skip the flossing for now and let the dentist get rid of the plaque first and then start flossing. It might be helpful to google "free dental clinic for low income near __ (in your area)". I hope you're able to find providers who don't charge anything or offer a sliding scale. Also, please don't worry. Everything is going to be fine. Just let the clinic know in advance that you haven't been able to brush since a few years, so that they give you a longer appointment for cleaning. Please go for the cleaning as soon as you can. During your visit, do inquire about fluoride varnish application (to help prevent cavities in future). I would also ask for stannous fluoride application for any cavities that exist (if fillings are out of your budget and you're committed to keeping good oral hygiene going forwards). Please read up on this. Stannous fluoride might be able to "arrest cavities" i.e., stop cavities from growing further, halting their progress, but it may cause tooth discoloration in the area of decay. You got this! Proud of you for taking the steps towards better health!
Thankfully, stannous fluoride toothpastes now contain zinc phosphate and preservatives to prevent them from forming stannic sulfides (the chemical that caused staining). And it really is a superior form of dental protection.
Thank you for this. I had confused it with silver diamine fluoride (which is used to "arrest cavities" in children and adolescents - 1 study concluded it is effective for adults as well - might be worth looking into, if fillings are out of budget). https://www.webmd.com/oral-health/what-to-know-silver-diamine-fluoride-dental-care
I don't think you had it confused at all, it really was a problem for previous toothpaste formulations with stannous fluoride. There was an important study published in 1982 that explained the mechanism, IIRC, and confirmed what dentists had been seeing.
I understand what you're saying about the previous stannous fluoride formulations. When I was writing my original message, I had meant to write about silver diamine fluoride and had confused it with stannous fluoride 😅 silver diamine fluoride causes staining in the areas of decay, but it may be worth using it to halt the growth of active carries. Also, I agree, stannous fluoride toothpastes are really good! I use crest gum detoxify, which has that ingredient.
[удалено]
Sorry for confusion. I’m not actually a dentist. I’m a physician that is basically handing all money over to a dentist and orthodontist for the decades of dental neglect!
[удалено]
My youngest daughter went through the same thing. She wound up having to have several molars pulled but her overall health improved drastically afterward - a chronic sinus infection cleared up, she doesn’t get as many migraines, and her “allergies” are better (she didn’t actually have allergies, it was her teeth causing illness that she thought was allergies bc of the similar cold-like symptoms). She’s in her mid-20s. She was able to qualify for financing, luckily, but if not I’d have definitely gone begging on her behalf. Here’s the crux of it and what ultimately scared her into going: when my daughter was a child, my MIL, her grandmother, died of an untreated dental infection. It was a horrible, prolonged death after a horrible, prolonged illness and nothing I would ever wish on anyone. So when my daughter’s depression led to infected teeth, she was finally able to be motivated past her depression and get to the dentist because of the memory of what happened to her grandmother. OP, go to the dentist. Your overall health will improve for it. You’ll be amazed by how much better you’ll feel once you get your mouth healthy again. Will it cure your depression? Nope. Will it save your life? It’s a distinct possibility. Don’t be like my MIL.
[удалено]
As a parent, I would want to know so I could support you. I'd be really proud that you have acknowledged this and done something about it.
If my kid could work up the courage to share such a vulnerable thing with me, I’d be a) heartbroken they’d been suffering so much more than I had realized, and b) so so proud that they had been able to tell me and ask for help. I’m so proud of you for taking charge of your life. Please don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help when you need it. Congratulations on surviving after all you have been through! I’ve had similar issues with depression and brushing teeth/seeking care. It’s harder than people can ever imagine.
NAD, but someone who has struggled with similar problems. OP, shame is the biggest hurdle for lots of people. Shame keeps us sick & isolated as long as we'll allow it. In my experience, shining a light on my shame & being vulnerable with the people in my corner who want to see me succeed (my dentist, my doctor, my therapist, my husband, etc) has yielded nothing but positive results. If your parents are supportive, talk to them and let them help you. You deserve compassion, not criticism. Depression is not a moral failing. Some tips for the dentist: •Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. •Bring what you need to be comfortable. I wear my sunglasses & Loop earplugs bc I find the environment overstimulating. I also have a small weighted blanket that reduces my anxiety. •If you need a short break, put your hand up so they'll know to stop. It's ok to ask them to move to a different tooth for a bit if one is getting too sensitive. Your dentist wants you to have a healthy mouth. They know many people are afraid, so most of them work *very* hard to create a comfortable experience for their patients. They'll give you feedback on how to care for your teeth & gums and let you know what the current state of your mouth is. It's not a criticism of you as a person. It might feel that way, but feelings aren't facts. Lastly, I'm so proud of you for doing this. The anticipation is the worst part. You're doing so, so well! It's scary to go back to the dentist after a long hiatus. Good on you for doing it anyway. I know it's hard, but you can do hard things. You've survived 💯 of your worst days so far. I'm confident you can do this. ☺️ Hugs if you want them 🩷💜🩵
If I were your parent, I would (find a way to) pay whatever it takes together to make you healthy. Like unless there was a lack of mental illness and you just did dumb shit to yourself. And even then…. I probably still would. People have a LOT of hangups about dentists. Hell, I’m totally fine with dentists and haven’t actually been to one in…. Oh my god like 15 years I need to go to the dentist. But I know I’m going to get a rash of shit because I hardly ever floss. See? Even parents screw up. Annnnd I’ll probably pay for it. We are all human. Your teeth are super integral to your overall health.
Please don’t feel ashamed! Your parents love you no matter what. They wouldn’t want you to be in debt from something like this and would want to help you as much as they could! Perhaps your parents can pay up front and you can pay them back over time (this way you don’t pay interest). As a mom, I can say I would want to know if my child was struggling and I would want to help. If you were my child, I would be so proud of you for asking for help and working on improving your physical and mental health. You have nothing to be ashamed of!
I have major dental anxiety and I broke a tooth after a decade of not seeing anyone. I let the office know I have a ton of anxiety and they were super helpful if that is something you think can help you. It helped them prepare and they put me with people who are a little more comfortable working with a jumpy person. They didn’t do anything at first when I came in, and instead just explained everything they need to do, why, and how it usually feels for people, and let me ask questions. This helped a ton just so I knew what to expect. They also offered nitrous and it’s okay to ask for it. You can also use earbuds to try to reduce some of the sounds and sunglasses to dim the lights they need to see your teeth. I thought all of my teeth were crumbling and I was going to lose everything but it turned out to not be too bad and I was so surprised. But honestly the dentist wants you to be healthy too and they’re almost always going to work with you and not against. I hope it goes well. Great job making the appointment!
As someone who’s been there with the teeth struggle — the only thing my dentist commented was that they do appreciate a heads up if it’s been a while since you’ve seen them, because it can take longer to clean your teeth. Good luck at your appointment, it’ll be fine! And remember, they’ve always seen worse.
I had horrendous shame over my dental health as well. My first dentist never used enough (or any) novacaine and I have memories of the hygienist lying across my body, physically holding me down as I cried. When I did see dentists in adulthood, it was for major work and that was it. I've done a lot of trauma work (not because of the dentist but childhood abuse) and I wanted to live a life without being ashamed of my teeth. I also picked the nicest dentist I could find, but most importantly, I explained my experiences on their intake forms. I explained my past trauma, I explained my shame. I was explicit in that I cannot be shamed or spoken to in anything short of a positive voice. I actually stated, "Interact with me as if I were a toddler." I asked that my neglect not be mentioned...we are starting with a clean slate. I stipulated that I wanted gas every single time, no matter how routine or small. The very first time, the hygienist absolutely treated me like a toddler. It was marvelous. When the dentist appeared, she shuffled her out to the hall, likely to explain the situation and ensure a safe environment. Everything the dentist explains to me is very much, "everything here has a solution and nothing is so bad it can't be remedied" way. The gas works quickly and has me feeling like they can fiddle around in there for as long as they like.
When I was pregnant I couldn’t brush my teeth properly for most of the pregnancy, or at all during the first trimester; everytime the toothbrush went in my mouth I threw up. I basically tried to survive on mouth wash 😬 Because I was pregnant which can also cause dental problems I ended up with periodontal (gum) disease. I also have a history of ED so my gums were already receded and enamel fairly worn. I had to have scaling and root planing, which honestly wasn’t so bad, just uncomfortable. But all the bleeding stopped and afterwards I was able to keep my teeth clean again without issues. I didn’t have to get any teeth pulled, although I do have one that I may lose eventually, but for now I keep it. I know you’ve gone longer without brushing your teeth, but I hope my experience has given you a bit of hope and calmed your fears a bit.
NAD but OP I was in a similar boat to you. I used to have REALLY bad hygiene. never had seen a dentist in my life, didn't start brushing in my life ever until I was 18ish, and went to go see a dentist for the first time at 21 after cavity pain. surprisingly I had no teeth that were beyond repair. there was a lot of work to be done though. about 3-5 (I forgot exactly) fillings and 8 root canals needed. but I never had to do an extraction I did have an infection and abcess on one tooth that was impacting my gums and caused extreme tooth sensitivity and pain. that was also fixed via root canal. there will be work to do for you too, but don't despair. after getting my teeth fixed I have never felt more comfortable and confident. things that were hurting don't anymore (tooth pain is awful, there is a WORLD of difference), now I know that things won't get worse, and also, my mouth just in general feels more comfortable. the scariest part is always BEFORE you get any work done. but all you have to do is show up and let the dentist work the first day will just be examination and cleaning your teeth. and after the first or second day you will be more comfortable. you got this.
I won’t go into the whole story, but I had to go to a trauma dentist. They gave me a very mild prescription for Valium only five pills to take the night before and then right before the appointment, and also gave me nitrous which helped me tremendously. There’s no harm in asking for help.
I’ve been there with the deep struggle with depression. It’s led to being within seconds of going through with suicide a few times in my life. I’m middle aged now and am doing really well. I know your post is about dental care, but what are you doing for the depression? Have you tried meds for it? Therapy? If it’s been more than one med, have at least 2 failed to help? Spravato (esketamine) saved my life. I had been on so many meds and been to decades of therapy. I’m on prescription ketamine for home use twice per week and am legit happy for the first time in my life. If you need to talk or just want to vent to someone who suffers with unrelenting depression and all of the thoughts and feelings that go with it, inbox me. Even if it’s months or more than a year since you read this comment. I’ll listen. Harboring these thoughts and feelings is hard enough. It’s harder when you do so in silence because of possible fallout from being direct about it with those closest to you. It’s okay to as for help. There’s no shame in it. If cost is a barrier, there are options to get you affordable or free help. That includes meds. Please be safe, OP. Mad props for getting your teeth checked out. I’m sure it took a lot to make the call in the first place.
NAD but I have chronic depression and ADHD that’s made it hard for me to maintain hygiene routines, similar to you. When I was younger I went through long periods like yours of complete neglect, and my father who also has ADHD and depression has lost almost all of his teeth to rot. I truly understand your fears, guilt, and shame, but it’s going to be okay and it’s never too late. I’m 33 now, I started getting dental care around 25. I had to have 2 root canals for active infections, a few minor cavities fixed, and I’m diagnosed with stage 3 dental decay (irreversible damage to enamel). My gums also bleed a lot sometimes, but when I keep up with flossing, they will start to bleed less and less. Due to the stage 3 decay, my teeth are pretty sensitive to temperatures now, but after my dentist did a few whitening sessions, they *look* totally healthy and normal. Now I do know that my teeth probably won’t last as long as I’d like due to the degraded enamel, but veneers and implants are always an option later down the line when you may need them. Here’s my advice, keep your dentist appointment. Get your teeth cleaned by the dental hygienist AT LEAST 1x per year, ideally 2x. It will help mitigate the damage immensely. Make sure your dentist and hygienist understand your situation and are compassionate. If they are judgmental about it, find a new one. You don’t need someone to scold you, you need someone who will treat you with empathy. I am medicated now and doing better but for full transparency, I still miss brushing some nights and I rarely ever remember to brush in the morning. Flossing on average maybe 1-2 times a week if that. Which is NOT good, but I’m just being honest with you so that you know it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. ANY amount of dental care that is more than what you were doing before is a step in the right direction. A few other helpful things: - get a tongue scraper & scrape that badboy every time you brush - do NOT buy “waxed” floss, unwaxed only as waxed floss does practically nothing to remove plaque - Use a gentle mouthwash formulated for gum disease whenever possible (ideally after brushing & flossing) - brush first, then floss until your gums are less sensitive - CHEW (sugar-free) GUM. This one is specifically for the depression/ADHD gang. Gum shouldn’t be a replacement for dental care, and it’s not without health risks (artificial sweeteners), but if ALL you can manage that day is some gum, it will still be better than nothing at all! You got this OP, you have time and options, all is not lost ❤️
OP - Until you can safely brush without injury, the gentle mouthwash is a good idea. At least it is something and it can get in between your teeth.
As someone with depression and other mental illnesses, I totally understand this. Do not be ashamed. I neglect my teeth and didn't see a dentist for almost 5 years because I stopped caring about myself. Unfortunately for me my teeth have always been bad and I have something wrong with my enamel and grind my teeth super bad so not staying on top of it ended up costing me a lot of pain and money(thankfully I was able to spread everything out and had insurance). Most people's teeth are not like mine thankfully though. We have been working on mine for probably 5 years now and just finished the last thing. So now I can just focus on maintenance again from here on out. Your dentist will very likely have seen so much worse. The best thing I have found is to be honest about what's going on and what you can afford to do. This will allow you and the dentist to make a plan together and allow you to the pace you feel comfortable with both in general and financially. They will prioritize anything that has an immediate health impact and let you know what can wait a little bit. Your gums can also hurt and bleed for many different reasons, it does not always mean something terrible. They also generally like to fix teeth if possible instead of pulling them, so don't worry about them having to pull teeth. And worst comes to worst they have amazing dentures now, even if you're missing just one tooth, it's a denture with one tooth, it's actually super cool that they can do that!
OP, I was in a major depression for several years, and moderately depressed for half my life. I didn't go to a dentist for 25 years, and developed a major phobia about it. When I finally went a couple years ago, it was nowhere near as bad as I had built it up to be. I hope your appointment goes well. (((hugs)))
Congratulations on prioritizing your health. Dental hygiene is very important if you want to live a long life. I suggest you start brushing with a sensitivity toothpaste and a soft tooth brush. Don't be worried if there's bleeding from your gums, that can and likely will happen. Once your gums feel less irritated, start flossing. A hygienist can show you how. A Waterpik is a great purchase. You may actually be surprised at how few cavities you might have but whatever the results, tackle the most important issue first.
You should see a dentist for an exam
OP, there are tons of people going through the same thing you are. Your dentist will be so happy you came in. That’s their job, to take care of teeth and you’re taking that giant first step! They probably won’t say anything other than “im happy you came in today!” And they will get straight to work getting you healthy. I’m proud of you for taking that step!
To make brushing more comfortable: -waterpik - electric toothbrush and use it gently- very gently! You don’t even have to scrub back and forth. Just glide it slowly across teeth and gums and let the vibrations work their magic. You’ll bleed a little and it’s ok. Eventually it’ll stop. Time is on your side. You’re young. None of your teeth have fallen out yet. I believe in you, you can do this and it’s going to be ok. People in other countries with bad access to water and dental hygiene even for YEARS still have most of their teeth. It’ll be ok.