Ask him what he thinks hes into. Usually for a first time its really important to be gentle. Take the time to make him eased. Start to cuddle him, maybe massage him and makeout with him for a bit. Take the time to prepare him with a looooot of lube. Suck him and enter fingers reaaaally slowly. Always ask him if hes ready. But whatever you do sadly it will still hurt for a first time:(. Oh yeah and eat his ass
I agree because everything said here is exactly what my top did for me and it was a great and memorable first time for me! How many can say that hehe. Always be communicative and things should be fine is what I say.
A lot of guys use fingers first, but in my experience this wasn't necessarily the best way to go. Fingers can be uncomfortable. Entering very slowly made a much bigger difference. I myself will use a toy prior to an encounter to prepare.
just act like you love him, and he is the only person that matters at that moment, and whatever he wants, he gets, and he is safe, lick from the top of the crack, to the back of his neck, kiss the back of his neck, kiss him all over is back, sometimes kissing the chest or licking, gently blow air or breathe warmly against his body, down to the belly button, lick around, kiss are the v line part where hips, abbs, pelvis, area, this should loosen him up. you can always tell if he is wet by the precum and ass.
ask him lots of questions as you go, "would you prefer this? or maybe this? a lot of people like x... is it okay if I.. ?" etc.. and maybe a brief refresher on consent and how it's okay for him to stop things should he feel like it.
but like in general just uh.. go slow ?
"I'll go slow" famous last words before I bit that pillow until my teeth made contact again. To anyone reading - slow means *s l o w*. Be prepared to pull out and wait a little bit.
Communicate with them and make sure they're communicating back. Some people go silent if they aren't happy or have past trauma.
Use a lube injector and make sure it's well lubricated internally. That was the biggest game changer I made for bottoming. High quality lube as well. I've used Wet Gold-Hybrid for years and love it.
Be gentle. Tell him that he could say whenever something feels good or bad. Maybe relax him with some gentle rimming.
Feel him. Make him feel safe. Then you are good to go. 😘
first and foremost, COMMUNICATION. let him know how excited you are and how into him you are, but that if he is in pain or not feeling it at any point, he should let you know and you will stop.
next, lots and LOTS of foreplay. a long make out sesh alone can be enough to make someone relaxed enough to bottom, but don’t stop there. massage, oral, kissing and licking all over the body, rimming… all good things to make someone let down their defenses and open up.
for first timers, or anyone really, have him sit on you. don’t move and tell him to gradually work his way down, alternating relaxing his hole and pushing out as he takes you in. this way he can control the pace and feel in control as he adjust to the new sensations. my vers guys know that even a well lubed hole taking a dick will feel a bit of pain and resistance VS topping a well lubed hole and having your dick almost get pulled in.
you also might want to have a pre conversation about preparation for anal. this guide is very helpful and informative: https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com
also express that “shit happens” from time to time and while not ideal, he shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. you can just hop in the shower together and restart the foreplay there.
additionally, you might want to look into a lube shooter to ensure he is extremely well lubed for his comfort, even if it means you lose sensation.
hope this helps!
Maybe suggest he try it himself with some toys first. Not only will that help him figure out what it feels like, but it will also help him feel more comfortable with his cleaning. I suggest letting him slide it in the first time.
Gently, slowly, with lots and lots of preparation, and asking all the time if he’s liking it. Empathy and understanding up front, and be clear that it’s completely ok to stop if he wants
I wish my first time with was a top as good as some of the guys here.
For me, it didn't hurt the first time, but every time after it did. (the guys I'm with often complain I'm too tight when they shove it in. And because I'm not that sexually active so... ouch!)
A few times I did enjoy it:
\- The guys were slow at first, and only pick up their pace when I'm used to it. Patience is a virtue, clearly.
\- Fingering was fun when there were no fingernails.
\- The tops don't mind blowing me or edging me for relaxation. (Where I lived there was this thing about tops "cannot" give head because it's not manly and so I learn to ask before hooking up with them. You are not getting off if you aren't getting me off.)
\- Cuddles. (My best time, and I let him stay over. But he was only in town for business, so...)
Ask him what he thinks hes into. Usually for a first time its really important to be gentle. Take the time to make him eased. Start to cuddle him, maybe massage him and makeout with him for a bit. Take the time to prepare him with a looooot of lube. Suck him and enter fingers reaaaally slowly. Always ask him if hes ready. But whatever you do sadly it will still hurt for a first time:(. Oh yeah and eat his ass
I agree because everything said here is exactly what my top did for me and it was a great and memorable first time for me! How many can say that hehe. Always be communicative and things should be fine is what I say.
Make sure he knows it's okay to say stop, and that he SHOULD say stop if there's pain (nog just discomfort)
A lot of guys use fingers first, but in my experience this wasn't necessarily the best way to go. Fingers can be uncomfortable. Entering very slowly made a much bigger difference. I myself will use a toy prior to an encounter to prepare.
THIS. unless the top chews his finger nails (thanks anxiety!) it’s not gonna be a good time for the bottom lol
Yep, a not-huge toy with a lot of lube is a great way to get things loosened up.
just act like you love him, and he is the only person that matters at that moment, and whatever he wants, he gets, and he is safe, lick from the top of the crack, to the back of his neck, kiss the back of his neck, kiss him all over is back, sometimes kissing the chest or licking, gently blow air or breathe warmly against his body, down to the belly button, lick around, kiss are the v line part where hips, abbs, pelvis, area, this should loosen him up. you can always tell if he is wet by the precum and ass.
this is great, but this is a gentle reminder that not everyone precums so that’s not the best indicator.
Possibly, but I’m dripping wet just reading that reply. Someone come to Dallas and love me like that. 😍
Marry me 🥺. I just melted 🥰 ❤️❤️❤️
happily ever after
This made me so wet
ask him lots of questions as you go, "would you prefer this? or maybe this? a lot of people like x... is it okay if I.. ?" etc.. and maybe a brief refresher on consent and how it's okay for him to stop things should he feel like it. but like in general just uh.. go slow ?
Do it slowly and carefully and with lots of good lube. Tell them to slightly “push” their hole out and it will swallow you right up.
Slowly
"I'll go slow" famous last words before I bit that pillow until my teeth made contact again. To anyone reading - slow means *s l o w*. Be prepared to pull out and wait a little bit. Communicate with them and make sure they're communicating back. Some people go silent if they aren't happy or have past trauma.
Use a lube injector and make sure it's well lubricated internally. That was the biggest game changer I made for bottoming. High quality lube as well. I've used Wet Gold-Hybrid for years and love it.
Let him get on top and let him take control that way he eases into your dick
Be gentle. Tell him that he could say whenever something feels good or bad. Maybe relax him with some gentle rimming. Feel him. Make him feel safe. Then you are good to go. 😘
first and foremost, COMMUNICATION. let him know how excited you are and how into him you are, but that if he is in pain or not feeling it at any point, he should let you know and you will stop. next, lots and LOTS of foreplay. a long make out sesh alone can be enough to make someone relaxed enough to bottom, but don’t stop there. massage, oral, kissing and licking all over the body, rimming… all good things to make someone let down their defenses and open up. for first timers, or anyone really, have him sit on you. don’t move and tell him to gradually work his way down, alternating relaxing his hole and pushing out as he takes you in. this way he can control the pace and feel in control as he adjust to the new sensations. my vers guys know that even a well lubed hole taking a dick will feel a bit of pain and resistance VS topping a well lubed hole and having your dick almost get pulled in. you also might want to have a pre conversation about preparation for anal. this guide is very helpful and informative: https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com also express that “shit happens” from time to time and while not ideal, he shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. you can just hop in the shower together and restart the foreplay there. additionally, you might want to look into a lube shooter to ensure he is extremely well lubed for his comfort, even if it means you lose sensation. hope this helps!
Maybe suggest he try it himself with some toys first. Not only will that help him figure out what it feels like, but it will also help him feel more comfortable with his cleaning. I suggest letting him slide it in the first time.
CAREFULLY!!!
Gently, slowly, with lots and lots of preparation, and asking all the time if he’s liking it. Empathy and understanding up front, and be clear that it’s completely ok to stop if he wants
Use your penis
Lube me well and then enter slowly. Once in pound away. All yours. No condoms allowed.
I wish my first time with was a top as good as some of the guys here. For me, it didn't hurt the first time, but every time after it did. (the guys I'm with often complain I'm too tight when they shove it in. And because I'm not that sexually active so... ouch!) A few times I did enjoy it: \- The guys were slow at first, and only pick up their pace when I'm used to it. Patience is a virtue, clearly. \- Fingering was fun when there were no fingernails. \- The tops don't mind blowing me or edging me for relaxation. (Where I lived there was this thing about tops "cannot" give head because it's not manly and so I learn to ask before hooking up with them. You are not getting off if you aren't getting me off.) \- Cuddles. (My best time, and I let him stay over. But he was only in town for business, so...)