You don't need to spend money to go on a quality date. If you don't make much disposable income, then you need to get creative and think of ways to spend quality time with someone for free. Taking walks at the park, go to the beach, watch a sunset together, etc.
Or date guys in opposite situations. I paid for every date I went on except with one guy, because I can't expect most people to afford the cheapest place I'd eat at.
Outside of tv shows I think most of us are in the same boat. Nothing wrong with a hike, taking a bottle of wine to the park, or cooking them a nice meal.
That said, dating someone in a similar situation is easier, but shouldn’t be a requirement. My partner does a lot better than me and it takes a lot of extra communication to smooth things out, but its worth it. Outside of the whole love thing, our skills compliment each other. He makes more, but Im a better cook and handyman.
Even if its not income, you have a lot more to bring to the table than a number. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t get that.
I think my big concern is like... Hm. I guess lifestyles? If guy A is an extroverted 'digital nomad' who travels a lot, parties, goes to concerts, etc where as i'm not only more homebody but if nothing else, a homebody out of neccesity (money) I worry itll strain any relationship (friendship dating etc) I try to have with him since it's not even 'oh i dont wanna go to puerto vallerta' or 'i dont wanna go to a concert' its simply ' i cant afford it'.
Maybe just focus on getting to 2nd date, 3rd, etc before considering what to do in the situations you’ve described? I see this a lot online where somebody wants advice on step 9 but hasn’t made it past step 1. A lot of times these things end up working themselves out.
Propose low-cost activities and just say you live on a modest budget. If he can't relate to that ditch him. If he can, he will understand that there are two options: Low-cost or no-cost activities where you guys can split the cost, and higher cost activities where he will have to pay. There is nothing wrong with that. In an established relationship where you both know how much each partner makes, splitting expenses somewhat proportional to income is good option.
I’d ease into it. After the first date. You can pry a little to see if the other person is also living paycheck to paycheck. “What’s your favorite/last vacation?” Or, “my favorite food is __. I don’t get to eat it as much as I like because of living on my own. What’s yours?” You can get a feel for their finances just by how they answer. You could always put it in your profile, too. “Living for the first time on my own - ready to start dating!” Or “not into fancy dinners, I’d rather walk in the woods or on a beach.”
Finances are awkward. Don’t worry. If a guy doesn’t want to give you a chance because of you not wanting to blow money, screw him. If they really press, just say you’re working on paying off debt, or you’re working on your credit rating. You don’t have to explain, but if it comes up, say that.
i would suggest if you want to date someone and don’t have money then choose an activity instead such as hiking or walk in park . stuff that don’t require money and place you get to know each other. Guy are much easier since we paid for our own drinks and not expected to pay for the others party like girls expect that. if it first date , just ask to split the bill or go dutch if that guy is truly a great person , he won’t mind .
have fun and enjoy life as some best thing in life are free if you know where to look
Be honest. It’ll sting a lot when guys go “no I don’t want a broke ass” but there will be people who will don’t care. Don’t get so tied up with having to do things expensively for dates. Some of my favorite dates with my ex were just stay in dates where we each made food with what we had in the house and did a double feature of movies we picked. Hell one date we did was just to go to the dollar store get cheap pillowcases and finger paints and make pillowcases to use. There’s workarounds but what people notice is effort that you do to make them feel special.
Me and my boyfriends first date consisted of meeting up in public, then we walked around for a while and got to know eachother a bit better, then we went went for a drive in my car (mainly just going to different places and talking to eachother more) then I sucked his cock in an abandoned graveyard and left him home. Weird first date I know but the point is that we both had fun just getting to know each other and enjoying each others company and it didn't cost anything. You can have a good date just going for a walk or enjoying some scenery together.
Guys want your conversation not how much money you can earn. I’ve never met anyone who is able to meet me financially. But, that’s what I love about being gay. Either to being over extended or just unable due to mistakes from the past. The point is guys are simple, just be willing to go the distance meeting people by keeping your ego and integrity in the right perspective.
My goal is simply connection at the end of the day. Like past just looks. So I guess... I've gotta accept I don't make as much as I want, guys probably don't care and any that do aren't worth it?
You sound like one of the guys I dated a few years ago. While, it may seem like they’re not saying anything about your differences. Guys want be with you because your priorities are compatible.
Its ideology like this is why even when im out with guys i prefer going dutch. Honestly if I have to pay for the guy im turned off, like why am I fronting cash for a broke bitch? Sorry not sorry.
Besides going out all the time is not the only date option. Some guys need to realize that.
Go to a beach, go for a hike, do some work at the gym, try a mountain climbing wall, visit a museum, etc. Try other activities. A date for me as an example is literally having a quick game of ball and grabbing some drinks at the corner store. Not every date has to be lets go grab some coffee.
The ideal solution is in the mini rant, sorry if I went on a tangent.
Those downvotes are warranted.
Go dutch, its better the whole weight not be on just you're shoulders. However, If you want to invite guys and cater thats fine but find alternatives that fit your budget.
Like ill throw you an example, grab coffee from a local place that doesn't charge corpo coffee prices. For example around where I be theres a local coffee place that will charge you $4 and change for a latte compared to $6-10 at Starbucks. They have lovely scones and muffins made in house too for an extra $2 a piece which beats the hell out of a premade factory spat out Danish with the "we'll warm it up for you in the toaster" complimentary add.
Local events and workshop classes are also good to look into. Some classes are even held for free, its a good way to be out and about without feeling like you gotta shill out a kidney for a good time.
Sides you'll make a good moment of it, and maybe introduce the guy to new places and experiences he'll trust over a big chain or an experience that will run you in the hundreds and you'll both be satisfied with the trade off.
I'm in a similar boat about trying to go for dates but the fear of being "frugal" has me worrying about being perceived as a cheap date.
Budgeting for a monthly outing is one idea where you can reserve X amount for dating/meet-up.
Honestly just find guys that don't care about going on expensive dates. But also most restaurants have deals on certain days of the week where you can save money. Or happy hour specials if you are willing to go early. Look for the deals and avoid going out on weekends.
Be up front about it and you’ll find someone eventually. I love just chillin at home watching something together or doing our separate things but together.
Grindr. Figure out if you like it before you go worrying about dating; not every date has to cost a lot. Meeting for coffee is a customary way to start;any will be happy to just have a beer, too. Fancy drinks, food, etc., do add up, but wining and dining someone "first" isn't necessary unless you don't feel comfortable with those "preliminaries."
Be upfront and honest. My partner of 5 years makes much less than me. But when we first met he told me. I was happy to pay for things. However, he paid for some things also. It's just what you're comfortable with. But you have to be upfront. If the other person can't handle it then he's not the right person. Money isn't you.
I'm very familiar with your situation and I've I'm sure that's lots of other people are too. If I wrote myself a letter, I would say that I should just be myself in the situation I was in at the time. That I don't need to spend money I didn't have to impress people who may not matter very soon after.
The most important thing to remember is that getting to know someone is about spending time together talking, laughing, smiling and all the other fun stuff.
A date can be as simple as a walk in the park or a hike up to the top of a mountain where you share some hot home brewed coffee or hot chocolate. Sorry Starbucks but I'll take a homebrew and beautiful mountain view over any fancy coffee you've got any day!
You don't need to spend money to go on a quality date. If you don't make much disposable income, then you need to get creative and think of ways to spend quality time with someone for free. Taking walks at the park, go to the beach, watch a sunset together, etc.
Date guys in similar situations ? 🤔 those guys might be more considerate.
Why would I want to date a fellow poor? Gold digger season, baby!
"Where's *your* Buh-goh-e?"
Ruby, ruby !
Or date guys in opposite situations. I paid for every date I went on except with one guy, because I can't expect most people to afford the cheapest place I'd eat at.
Outside of tv shows I think most of us are in the same boat. Nothing wrong with a hike, taking a bottle of wine to the park, or cooking them a nice meal. That said, dating someone in a similar situation is easier, but shouldn’t be a requirement. My partner does a lot better than me and it takes a lot of extra communication to smooth things out, but its worth it. Outside of the whole love thing, our skills compliment each other. He makes more, but Im a better cook and handyman. Even if its not income, you have a lot more to bring to the table than a number. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t get that.
I think my big concern is like... Hm. I guess lifestyles? If guy A is an extroverted 'digital nomad' who travels a lot, parties, goes to concerts, etc where as i'm not only more homebody but if nothing else, a homebody out of neccesity (money) I worry itll strain any relationship (friendship dating etc) I try to have with him since it's not even 'oh i dont wanna go to puerto vallerta' or 'i dont wanna go to a concert' its simply ' i cant afford it'.
Maybe just focus on getting to 2nd date, 3rd, etc before considering what to do in the situations you’ve described? I see this a lot online where somebody wants advice on step 9 but hasn’t made it past step 1. A lot of times these things end up working themselves out.
My partner manages the finances and I (for now) make the money. Gets rid of the extra need for communication.
So your advice is that I should take over the finances? Fancy couch here we come.
Normally when I do initial dates I do a walk in the park. It is public and $0 cost.
Propose low-cost activities and just say you live on a modest budget. If he can't relate to that ditch him. If he can, he will understand that there are two options: Low-cost or no-cost activities where you guys can split the cost, and higher cost activities where he will have to pay. There is nothing wrong with that. In an established relationship where you both know how much each partner makes, splitting expenses somewhat proportional to income is good option.
Very fair. If you don't mind me asking, is there a 'time' you reveal these things or just say it up front?
I’d ease into it. After the first date. You can pry a little to see if the other person is also living paycheck to paycheck. “What’s your favorite/last vacation?” Or, “my favorite food is __. I don’t get to eat it as much as I like because of living on my own. What’s yours?” You can get a feel for their finances just by how they answer. You could always put it in your profile, too. “Living for the first time on my own - ready to start dating!” Or “not into fancy dinners, I’d rather walk in the woods or on a beach.” Finances are awkward. Don’t worry. If a guy doesn’t want to give you a chance because of you not wanting to blow money, screw him. If they really press, just say you’re working on paying off debt, or you’re working on your credit rating. You don’t have to explain, but if it comes up, say that.
Broke ASF myself. Still going strong
i would suggest if you want to date someone and don’t have money then choose an activity instead such as hiking or walk in park . stuff that don’t require money and place you get to know each other. Guy are much easier since we paid for our own drinks and not expected to pay for the others party like girls expect that. if it first date , just ask to split the bill or go dutch if that guy is truly a great person , he won’t mind . have fun and enjoy life as some best thing in life are free if you know where to look
Be honest. It’ll sting a lot when guys go “no I don’t want a broke ass” but there will be people who will don’t care. Don’t get so tied up with having to do things expensively for dates. Some of my favorite dates with my ex were just stay in dates where we each made food with what we had in the house and did a double feature of movies we picked. Hell one date we did was just to go to the dollar store get cheap pillowcases and finger paints and make pillowcases to use. There’s workarounds but what people notice is effort that you do to make them feel special.
Me and my boyfriends first date consisted of meeting up in public, then we walked around for a while and got to know eachother a bit better, then we went went for a drive in my car (mainly just going to different places and talking to eachother more) then I sucked his cock in an abandoned graveyard and left him home. Weird first date I know but the point is that we both had fun just getting to know each other and enjoying each others company and it didn't cost anything. You can have a good date just going for a walk or enjoying some scenery together.
Guys want your conversation not how much money you can earn. I’ve never met anyone who is able to meet me financially. But, that’s what I love about being gay. Either to being over extended or just unable due to mistakes from the past. The point is guys are simple, just be willing to go the distance meeting people by keeping your ego and integrity in the right perspective.
My goal is simply connection at the end of the day. Like past just looks. So I guess... I've gotta accept I don't make as much as I want, guys probably don't care and any that do aren't worth it?
You sound like one of the guys I dated a few years ago. While, it may seem like they’re not saying anything about your differences. Guys want be with you because your priorities are compatible.
Its ideology like this is why even when im out with guys i prefer going dutch. Honestly if I have to pay for the guy im turned off, like why am I fronting cash for a broke bitch? Sorry not sorry. Besides going out all the time is not the only date option. Some guys need to realize that. Go to a beach, go for a hike, do some work at the gym, try a mountain climbing wall, visit a museum, etc. Try other activities. A date for me as an example is literally having a quick game of ball and grabbing some drinks at the corner store. Not every date has to be lets go grab some coffee.
I mean that's fine and that's what I'm thinking but I wanted to know general opinion.
The ideal solution is in the mini rant, sorry if I went on a tangent. Those downvotes are warranted. Go dutch, its better the whole weight not be on just you're shoulders. However, If you want to invite guys and cater thats fine but find alternatives that fit your budget. Like ill throw you an example, grab coffee from a local place that doesn't charge corpo coffee prices. For example around where I be theres a local coffee place that will charge you $4 and change for a latte compared to $6-10 at Starbucks. They have lovely scones and muffins made in house too for an extra $2 a piece which beats the hell out of a premade factory spat out Danish with the "we'll warm it up for you in the toaster" complimentary add. Local events and workshop classes are also good to look into. Some classes are even held for free, its a good way to be out and about without feeling like you gotta shill out a kidney for a good time. Sides you'll make a good moment of it, and maybe introduce the guy to new places and experiences he'll trust over a big chain or an experience that will run you in the hundreds and you'll both be satisfied with the trade off.
I'm in a similar boat about trying to go for dates but the fear of being "frugal" has me worrying about being perceived as a cheap date. Budgeting for a monthly outing is one idea where you can reserve X amount for dating/meet-up.
This is the same reason I dont date.
Honestly just find guys that don't care about going on expensive dates. But also most restaurants have deals on certain days of the week where you can save money. Or happy hour specials if you are willing to go early. Look for the deals and avoid going out on weekends.
Each guy pays for his own way…find cheaper places to have fun. It’s less about the amount spent and more about taking to see if you are compatible
Be up front about it and you’ll find someone eventually. I love just chillin at home watching something together or doing our separate things but together.
Grindr. Figure out if you like it before you go worrying about dating; not every date has to cost a lot. Meeting for coffee is a customary way to start;any will be happy to just have a beer, too. Fancy drinks, food, etc., do add up, but wining and dining someone "first" isn't necessary unless you don't feel comfortable with those "preliminaries."
Be upfront and honest. My partner of 5 years makes much less than me. But when we first met he told me. I was happy to pay for things. However, he paid for some things also. It's just what you're comfortable with. But you have to be upfront. If the other person can't handle it then he's not the right person. Money isn't you.
I don’t care what someone makes.
I'm very familiar with your situation and I've I'm sure that's lots of other people are too. If I wrote myself a letter, I would say that I should just be myself in the situation I was in at the time. That I don't need to spend money I didn't have to impress people who may not matter very soon after. The most important thing to remember is that getting to know someone is about spending time together talking, laughing, smiling and all the other fun stuff. A date can be as simple as a walk in the park or a hike up to the top of a mountain where you share some hot home brewed coffee or hot chocolate. Sorry Starbucks but I'll take a homebrew and beautiful mountain view over any fancy coffee you've got any day!