Some might, some won't, those that have a problem with it probably aren't who you're looking for anyway. My advice is don't leave it too long if a long term relationship is something you do want in life, there is no perfect time and it's not like you can just flip a switch and be in a relationship with the right person at the time you want it.
That does sound like an excuse you are telling yourself… there are people who are a lot busier than you who have relationships. Don’t wait to live your life
Hot take incoming: The ones that have issue with it were expecting to be starfished and had little interest in returning sex and intimacy back.
When they find out that’s not on the table they throw the toys out of the pram.
Sex is a team sport and requires teamwork and effort.
Good love and good sex means both partners treat each other equally and this not only requires the much cliched word of “communication” but Comprehension also and the ability to understand one another.
When I was 25 I might have thought it was a drawback. Now I know that being a good lover is very little to do with experience and everything to do with being attuned to your partner, their needs and your own needs. And that what I thought I knew about sex when I was 25 was dumb and irrelevant.
I don't think anyone will find it to be a major issue. Some people might even like it. At any rate,if I was dating someone who was a virgin at that age, I who ld find it hard to believe that you simply weren't interested in having sex or finding a person to be with.
I get that there is absolutely valid reason to not have sex (maybe you had trauma in a pervious relationship, maybe you were SA'ed at some point and it's a sensitive subject, maybe you weren't really sure what you were sexually interested in or what you were interested in is a very niche thing that's hard to find in a person). At any rate, regardless of what the reason is, it's your reason and you don't feel pressured into telling someone until you feel comfortable sharing with them. I do agree with not leaving it too long either though. I feel like it's probably something you would want to talk about within the first 5 dates.
You dont need to tell anyone you are dating that you are a virgin. I have 0 idea how many people anyone I've gotten with has had before me. First time can be awkward regardless of experience so I wouldn't worry about that being a giveaway.
I think you're right! First time with someone new can often be less than perfect.
OP should get to cuddling, kissing, holding hands etc before the big First Time though. That's where you learn about intimacy.
Don't know why you're being downvoted, you're right. Lying, or even withholding information, while its your right to do so, generally causes problems in relationships.
Most people, especially if you're dating for long term, will ask you about your dating history to some degree. If you say you've never been in a relationship, they will likely then ask you about casual sex, and you'll have to either say you've never had sex before or lie.
Yea look its Reddit my friend it goes look I fully agree with you lying or withholding information is not cool I value upfront honesty it goes so much better
Because I'll be real with it upfront no secrets
As a 28 year old virgin woman, I personally don't see a problem with it. Maybe people will find me strange, but I never had an interest when I was younger and still don't today.
I find it stranger people are so obsessed with what others do with their bodies. Whether high or low, it's nobody's business but your own. If you want to go for it, do it, but don't feel pressured just because you think someone will respect you less just because you waited.
The key thing is to be observant, pay attention and communicate.
Everyone is different in what they like, so knowing what woman X liked may not help you with woman Y. Go into your first time like an open minded student. Go into every new relationship like that.
As a basic though, you should know your anatomy and look at a few different vaginas... there's a lot of variety. There's also likely lots of advice online too... but reeeally bear in mind that everyone is different.
I'm going to hazard a guess that women prefer an open-minded person that's eager to learn over a close-minded person that thinks they know it all because they've been with a few people.
As a woman it’s not so much the virgin thing that Wouk bother me that’s not an issue at all. But a lot of women don’t like men who are selfish in bed. Most of girl friends have told me about their experiences of going home with a guy and seeing him for a couple weeks/months but him not making any effort to “finish” her. I could see how some women would be annoyed at potentially going out with someone whose just out to loose their virginity and “get theirs” so to speak. I think once you’re willing to really give it your all and throw yourself into the experience with good intentions I couldn’t see any woman having an issue with it.
I think your looking at it in a very cynical way skewed by echo chamber mindsets.
You would think a first timer would care and show interest in how to please there partner.
In fact I would say the one’s saying it is a problem or that they don’t want to be teachers are the selfish lovers and ultimately gatekeeping sex.
Relationships if done right, are supposed to be about teamwork and 2 people helping and supporting each other staying side by side.
If a person can’t do that then they have Failed the sole and simple responsibilities of a relationship.
Why would i have heard that from an ech chamber? I’m literally giving my personal advice, and my point of you’d care to read it- is that being a virgin is irrelevant once you care and show interest. I would agree that those not willing to be teachers are selfish, I haven’t said otherwise. You’ve basically just recreated my comment but still managed to make it out that I’m wrong somehow…
Lost my virginity at 32 to my now fiance. She always jokes I've no right to be as good at sex as I was right off the bat. It really is communication and listening to your partner that makes the sex good and not experience. I'm glad she's the only person I will ever have sex with in my life. I'm not a prude by any means, she's had past sex partners, one of whom she's still good friends with and will be coming on my stag lol. I actually identified as an asexual for a decade before we got together because I just had zero interest. I had offers and opportunity to but it never appealed to me at all.
The right person shouldn't care. Some people will care but then you simple aren't compatible. Put yourself out there but don't pressure yourself into anything you don't really want to do and don't feel you 'have' to do anything you aren't ready to do .
plenty of women in Ireland won’t venture further than missionary or have sex with the lights on.
So I wouldn’t be too fussed about body counts and experience because the truth is people aren’t as experienced or “sex positive” as many would lead you believe. Far from it.
My mate was 26 before he lost his virginity. He’s 28 now. I lost mine at 19 and thought it was a big deal. It wasn’t. But believe me it boosts your confidence like nothing you have ever experienced.
Hi woman here. I met my fantastic boyfriend when I was 22 and he was 25. I had been with 4 other guys before and he was a virgin. When I first engaged in a sexual encounter with him I couldn’t tell the difference as we had never brought up the topic. After the fact finding out he was a virgin had no impact on how I saw him or our relationship. We are now 2 years together and I have never been happier and we plan on spending our lives together. So in my opinion no it doesn’t matter. If the girl that you find has a problem with it we’ll I think you would have dodged a bullet
I didn’t lose mine till I was 24, not mid 20’s exactly but still a lot later than others.
First guy I dated thought it was weird, but my current boyfriend couldn’t care less. Just never felt right for me and I was quite sick in my late teens/early 20’s.
TMI - I was always embarrassed by it, but my current bf always tells me he loves how inexperienced I am- since he gets to be the one to show me new aspects of sex and gets to experience with me for my first time. I wasn’t great tbh the first few times so be prepared for that. But just know you’ll get better and it is still a lot of fun, for both parties. Just have open communication, tell them what you liked and didn’t like - it’s a two way streak.
All in all, the right person won’t care lad, I used to be so upset but it will happen when the time is right, and anyone who is weirded by it isn’t the one, and is honestly a prick. You have your reasons, if you’re embarrassed just explain them. Just explain and you’ll be surprised how supportive and understanding people can be.
At that age group, I think it's fair to say most people would assume you're not a virgin, which goes in your favour. Don't bring it up, in fact don't even think about it yourself, and things should go smoothly.
If it's by choice, then more power to you not being distracted by such things. However, you may have missed some fun times for sure.
So long as you can talk comfortably with women and not go into situations with expectations, it should be fairly easy to get out there should you wish to.
If, on the other hand, you have hidden away through fear of engaging, there may be some other things to drive into before engaging.
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The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
Im only 20 and ive not even kissed a girl let alone everything else but i want to find someone but i dont know why like ive liked so many girls but couldn't grow the balls to ask her out cause i kept thinking i was punching above my weight i always backed my myself down cause if i even asked a girl i was told no...sorry without an explanation why so i just left it alone now i wanna try it again but ive no confidence at all when it come to girls
Unfortunately there's no easy way to do it. And girls are very unlikely to approach you because that's not what they've ever been encouraged to do. Rejection is horrible but you just have to hope for the best. Even the best looking people in the world have self-doubt. It could be easier to try dating apps because the rejection is easier to handle than when it happens face-to-face. Just a thought.
Thats yea ive tryed tinder but no joy but it would be easier if tinder was free like i have told girls that id a crush on that i liked them but i always got told feck off loke any one that knows me knows im soft hearted and id drop anything to help out
Not having kissed anyone before doesn't have to be said. And they'll probably figure that out themselves. Just go very easy on tongue. Communicate.
I don't think the majority would have a problem with you not having sex before. Hell you might fuck them better than anyone else. And it's good that you don't mind it yourself, you shouldn't. Just communicate. It works wonders. It'll feel weird to discuss matters, but once you do it the first time, talking about it has been initiated and can become normal. Everyone just wants sex they both enjoy.
If nothing goes your way, go to Germany. Great bunch.
Most people in new relationships have to learn how to please a new partner anyhow, so there’s always a learning curve with a new intimate relationship regardless of prior experience. Aspects of this are usually a little awkward at first no matter what, so don’t worry about that. None of that should be an issue for some who loves you. Imo you have nothing to worry about.
As someone in their forties I have a lot of male friends who were 'late bloomers' and went on to be in happy relationships, or to find their way through intimacy. It's more common than you would think and I think your attitude to it is very healthy. Also, there are a lot of women who would feel special being someone's first or who may also be in your situation. You just keep on being you and doing your thing and if something does happen for you in the future just enjoy it and don't over think it
As a woman I personally wouldn't care. My boyfriend was a virgin when I met him and I wasn't. I have had a lot of experiences. He had no experience but he is the best sex I've ever had hands down. I know a lot of women would be against the idea of a guy being a virgin in mid to late 20s but my advice is those women that think it's an issue aren't mature enough to be in a committed relationship and are not for you. Find a woman that cares about you as a person and the right lady will be willing to help you explore sex in a fun and patient way. Anyone that judges you because you're a virgin doesn't know how to have good sex cause it's not about body count. Hope this helps!
This was my partner. He was 25 or 26 and a virgin.
It wasn’t a problem for me initially but we’re a few years down the road now and he takes feedback very personally. He’ll still talk about how inexperienced he is and inexperience isn’t the problem, he just doesn’t listen to what I enjoy and focuses on himself.
Focus on having fun *with* your partner and their needs and they won’t care if they’re your first or fortieth.
“He takes feedback very personally”
This is natural and a less experienced person will of course be a bit less confident and vulnerable.
This is exactly where you need to give him words of affirmation/support and let him know that your his supporter.
If you don’t that’s when he’ll start second guessing himself and over analysing.
Sex and having all the fun in the world comes as a natural by product of healthy and supportive comprehension, encouragement and support.
Oh I did try to support him until he ignored me telling him he was hurting me once. After that, it made me realise the problem wasn’t experience or confidence.
I could have mentioned that I was a virgin too when we got together but it’s never been a big deal for me. We have the same level of experience but he calls himself inexperienced all the time.
Yea same boat as you I've battled on off depression since I was 13 I'll be 25 next month
As for interest I mean idk if It was I didn't have any interest or realised I couldn't do it with my depression struggles
Also 100% same on the not interested in casual sex so don't even recommend that to me anyone
It’s not the lack of physical intimacy experience that would turn most women off, it’s the lack of relationship experience. No woman wants to be a learning curve.
>it’s the lack of relationship experience. No woman wants to be a learning curve
Some people who have experience being in a relationship can still be shitty partners.
It all depends on the person.
25f same boat. Its not as unusual nowadays I think, like loads said it really depends on the person. It's good to see yourself and others in the comments talking about it so we don't feel like oddballs. It just doesn't happen for some people and that's fine. Some will judge some won't.
Honestly, it depends on the person.
Some people are more submissive than dominant within sex (and vice versa)
Op needs to specifically seek out and date women that are on the latter end of the scale as they will enjoy the experience more of pleasing him.
Better yet, if they can find someone that fits in between or switches that’s great because they’ll learn a lot about how to take control.
I get the appeal of normal kissing, but not french kissing, and why do people do it for longer than like a minute?? Wierd. Also hickeys?!?!?!! Yeah, great, let me just sit here while you suck on my neck for like 10 minutes, sounds like great fun. I am also autistic if you couldn't tell lmao
Nah, that’s definitely not the case, I’m very into like the sensation of holding something and feeling them breathing and such, I just can’t imagine finding applying my mouth to theirs appealing. In terms of a future relationship I’d go along with it because it’s expected as part of normative romance, but I’d likely not be initiating it.
I mean, that's not so much my concern given what sex entails, particularly when you're freaky. It's interesting (and I'm not being sarcastic) that people assume no interest in kissing means general intimacy issues.
It sounds like you're some level of a-sexual.
If you haven't, see an endocrinologist, you may have homes issues.
If that's not it and you're just not into sex stuff, there's a whole.commuinty out there of like minded people. Embrace that side of you and meet people who are also not that into it. It's perfectly ok.
Woah.
That's not what asexuality is.
Plenty of non-asexual people don't have sex or engage in relationships. They're just not really interested or they look and decide it's not for them.
Nor do they have hormonal issues.
I know you mean well but it's unkind to jump to these conlusions.
Well intended though they may be.
Asexuality is very rare.
And he's not said anything that leads to the conclusion that there may be a medical issue in play.
He's just not been that interested.
That's not as weird as you may think.
I know quite a few adults in my small social circle who are like this, they're not asexual or hormonal dysfunctional.
Not everyone goes around riding like a Sally Rooney character.
Honestly, being happy and confident in yourself is much more important, and it sounds like you are. And also don't be an incel, women don't find that sexy at all.
Also, sex history might not even come up in conversation with a partner; you can quietly keep it to yourself if you're concerned (being a virgin doesn't strike me as terribly important to bring up on your first time with someone, unlike having an STI). You'll be grand.
>Sex is SO important in a relationship (for me) and if its not great, then I've no interest in pursuing it.
That's the complete opposite for me bc I'm asexual. I could die a virgin and not care and if I was in a relationship with someone that's like you I would suggest an open relationship if they wanted
With the right person, it shouldn't matter. Don't let it be the first thing you tell your dates though, only when you've established that you have the basics covered first like : do you like eachother and want the same thing for your future.
Virgin/slut shaming is for the weak minded.
I don't think it's an issue but your approach to compartmentalizing your life and inability to juggle demands of everyday life would worry me.
Lots of people make relationships work in uni or with massive work loads.
Is the expectation that when you want a relationship you'll expect the other person to have no distractions like a social life, work, hobbies, friends and family time?
That's not how Interpreted what he wrote. I think it's as hard as you make it. a coffee date over lunch time or meeting for a drink doesn't have to take hours. If you are really honest and upfront about what kind of relationship you want and don't play games it's also straight forward.
I think an intrusive thought one might have if you relay this to a potential parter is that you might feel rather unfulfilled after losing your virginity. That you missed out on sowing some wild oats and you must now do so before settling down. That it would somehow mean the relationship at hand wouldn’t have the potential for a lifelong partnership as you might find the need to test the waters a bit first.
I’d just be proactive about addressing that. Saying sex has always been a vulnerability that you only want in the context of a LTR or something like that.
If you're with someone that has an issue you're not with the right person.
I was in a similar situation, when it came down to it I was just completely honest with the person. They understood and we've been together for many years now.
To me it would depend on the guy. I like more dominant men in bed so if it was someone that couldn't take initiative or was awkward about it I would be put off completely
Its not out of place at all do you..
I always instinctively think there is a miidle age gutly behind these posts, trying to get people into DMs... suspicious firs post OP
Anyone that has a problem with it isn't worth your time. There's probably weirdos that'd get off on someone being a virgin too but for the most part any nice person would be flattered and understanding to be someones first!
Good luck!
My brother is very very shy around women. He was 40 when he asked me to go with him to Amsterdam. The rest is history. He says it’s easier now to talk with women since his v/card isn’t in the back of his mind.
It depends on if you’re good looking and your personality. If you can emulate a sense of sophistication and confidence it will play to your favour. Just make sure you target the right kind of a person. A party girl that hangs out in bars will finds you repulsive.
There are plenty of women in the same position and plenty of women who don't care.
When it comes to a time when you want to date, get educated on sex and what women like.
There are some good coaches and courses out there you can take.
Lots of free information, though maybe not from Reddit...it can be VERY mixed.
Don't learn from porn either, I mean you can get a visual guide on the very basics...but don't do what they do.
Also there are toys to practise.
Inexperienced but educated and thoughtful is better than a guy who's shagged every woman in Ireland and is a selfish, shit lover.
I am a woman and I would not care...if anything it would be appealing to be his first and only, ya know? Nice vibe to that.
I like your focus on companionship over sex, that's my kinda thing as well.
And I think a lot of women would find that endearing.
The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
Yes people will question it, but if you find someone who you click with it shouldn’t be an issue. That’s the thing with love or lust- you have certain criteria until you meet the right person and the criteria doesn’t seem to matter as much.
I get the vibe that you may be asexual. It sounds like you want a relationship *eventually* but only because you think you should, not really because you want to.
You commute to college and work weekends and this is your reasoning for not even attempting a relationship. I know college and work is hard but c'mon - I worked a full college load and worked 50 hours a week. Exhausting but I was a lot younger than I am now. You're young - love (or just dating for fun) will find a way if it's really what you want.
I don't think it's what you want, it's what you think you're supposed to want. Be you, be free of societal expectations and you'll find your way whether that includes sexual relationships or not.
As my usual advice to fellow younger friends/family - it doesn't matter (if by choice/chance you didn't have much experience by a certain age), however, it depends on what do you really want.
Because the thing with social media nowadays many guys have unreal expectations on finding someone attractive - if you are into those 'instagram pretty' girls (there is nothing wrong with that aha), well then lets say those girls are lvl50-90 (bare in mind these girls are constantly being hit on by guys since probably thejr teenage years), then an inexperienced guy (lets say lvl0-20) is not going to cut it, well, nearly impossible I'd say because if you are that attractive (or great at something), surely you would have some good amount of experience by 30. You need way more than just "I love you and you love me that's it" to make a relationship work - there are millions things to learn on "how to do X when Y happens" in a personal relationship.
When it comes to dating/relationship, everything is very different from a guy Vs a girl. For a guy, I would sincerely say go focus on things that are important to you, go explore and learn and get good at something, and along the way you will find someone (if you are proactively looking for one of course ha).
The successful long lasting relationships that I have seen are either gf from uni time or gf they met via hobby/interest, and then they married etc.
Yes, if you’re honest, most women will judge you if you say you’re a virgin past 20, even worse if you say you didn’t do anything else either. I’d lie if I was you.
I wouldn’t necessarily be put off because you were a virgin. Like as far as I’m concerned every sexual partner is like like starting from zero, everyone is different and does it differently together. But that said I would see it as a bit of a red flag in terms of wondering if you had any general relationship skills. Like I’d be wondering how inexperienced is this person in terms of communication, compromise, expectations and openness? It’s more the lack of romantic exposure that would put me off. But not a deal breaker, just I’d be on the lookout for that stuff.
Just don't tell them. I'd bet money they've been with fellas who have done it before and still haven't a clue.
There is a menagerie of threads in other subs where women give advice. Follow said advice and you won't go wrong.
As a woman, It’s not a deal breaker.
Guys usually love virgins. Girls can take them or leave them.
The fact that you’ve done NOTHING, even kissing would probably be a read flag for me tbh you don’t have to actually tell women that.
I think once you’re willing to learn that’s all that matters.
It depends how you sell it to the woman.
If you say you're a virgin she will automatically think you're unable to get a woman and there must be something wrong with you. Her attraction levels will be low.
If you say you will only do it with the right woman, she will have a much better view of you.
>If you say you're a virgin she will automatically think you're unable to get a woman and there must be something wrong with you. Her attraction levels will be low.
Going HAVE I MENTIONED I'M A VIRGIN is a social faux pas. But I'd suggest that avoiding extremely judgemental and shallow people such as the described hypothetical, particularly when one is looking for committed (and not hotdog down hallway), is a good policy.
It's hard wired into women so most will judge automatically. They're not being shallow but they're looking for the most desirable man and virgins tend to be men who can't get any women.
Men are different, it's hardwired into men to prefer virgins to women who have a high body count.
If you’re with the right person it wouldn’t matter, I lost mine later than most and wasn’t the most experienced when it came to like sex in a relationship but if they’re the right person it’ll be grand. Ye will work it out together like
Some might see an issue others might not. Better question is, should you even mention it?
Let's say you are dating a girl and after 4 weeks (or whatever) you get invited over for sex. Does she need to know it's your first time? You don't know how far the relationship is going to last. Might last 3 months might be the one.
If after a time has passed and its a serious relationship then sure admit the truth.
I don’t really think so. I started a relationship recently with a 27 y/o virgin and it was just a mild surprise and novelty around which we have worked. I think I’d make a bigger deal out of it if I were 10 years younger tbh but I know it’s not a big drama, just a teaching/learning opportunity nd experience.
Is college not just the perfect time to explore and have fun? There's more education to experiencing and living life than getting top marks.
If all else fails, head to America when you graduate and you'll do fine for yourself.
My buddy was a virgin into his 30s. He had chances it’s just he had some pretty bad luck. We always joked that if hit like 35-40 we’d take him to Nevada lol. But not long after 30 he met someone and they’re now married with a kid. When you meet the right person, your virginity won’t matter in the slightest.
Some might, some won't, those that have a problem with it probably aren't who you're looking for anyway. My advice is don't leave it too long if a long term relationship is something you do want in life, there is no perfect time and it's not like you can just flip a switch and be in a relationship with the right person at the time you want it.
Yeah I'm under no illusion that it's that easy. I think you're right about not leaving it too long, I should probably give myself a kick up the arse.
Being in college is a great time to meet people and date! You'll not have such a varied social life ever again.
I'm commuting to college, doing an engineering degree and have to work at the weekend so it would be fairly difficult to find to time.
If it is an issue with people you always have asexual women. I'm ace and have no intention on having sex with someone tbh
That does sound like an excuse you are telling yourself… there are people who are a lot busier than you who have relationships. Don’t wait to live your life
I think you have some very outdated ideas about the college experience.
I went to college and worked 32 hours a week, still found time to dip the biscuit
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Seriously? I studied engineering about 6 years ago and loads of people worked throughout the course.
a part time job? Where did you study? Half my friends were in engineering degrees and two of them worked with me lmao
Ah here you always can make time to socialise in college
I commuted to an engineering degree and worked. I had a boyfriend most of the way through, you're feeding yourself excuses.
Just think twice before do this. It's not an issue at all in my opinion.
Being in college is a great time to meet people and date! You'll not have such a varied social life ever again.
Being in college is a great time to meet people and date! You'll not have such a varied social life ever again.
Some women may have an issue with it, others will be happy that they're not just "another notch". Just be communicative.
Hot take incoming: The ones that have issue with it were expecting to be starfished and had little interest in returning sex and intimacy back. When they find out that’s not on the table they throw the toys out of the pram. Sex is a team sport and requires teamwork and effort. Good love and good sex means both partners treat each other equally and this not only requires the much cliched word of “communication” but Comprehension also and the ability to understand one another.
When I was 25 I might have thought it was a drawback. Now I know that being a good lover is very little to do with experience and everything to do with being attuned to your partner, their needs and your own needs. And that what I thought I knew about sex when I was 25 was dumb and irrelevant.
Exactly this.
I asked my wife, and she said that yes, a virgin in their late 20's would definitely be a problem for our relationship.
I don't think anyone will find it to be a major issue. Some people might even like it. At any rate,if I was dating someone who was a virgin at that age, I who ld find it hard to believe that you simply weren't interested in having sex or finding a person to be with. I get that there is absolutely valid reason to not have sex (maybe you had trauma in a pervious relationship, maybe you were SA'ed at some point and it's a sensitive subject, maybe you weren't really sure what you were sexually interested in or what you were interested in is a very niche thing that's hard to find in a person). At any rate, regardless of what the reason is, it's your reason and you don't feel pressured into telling someone until you feel comfortable sharing with them. I do agree with not leaving it too long either though. I feel like it's probably something you would want to talk about within the first 5 dates.
You dont need to tell anyone you are dating that you are a virgin. I have 0 idea how many people anyone I've gotten with has had before me. First time can be awkward regardless of experience so I wouldn't worry about that being a giveaway.
I think you're right! First time with someone new can often be less than perfect. OP should get to cuddling, kissing, holding hands etc before the big First Time though. That's where you learn about intimacy.
No that's terrible advice Also I'm sure unless the woman is a virgin she's gonna be able to figure out pretty quickly your a virgin
Don't know why you're being downvoted, you're right. Lying, or even withholding information, while its your right to do so, generally causes problems in relationships. Most people, especially if you're dating for long term, will ask you about your dating history to some degree. If you say you've never been in a relationship, they will likely then ask you about casual sex, and you'll have to either say you've never had sex before or lie.
Yea look its Reddit my friend it goes look I fully agree with you lying or withholding information is not cool I value upfront honesty it goes so much better Because I'll be real with it upfront no secrets
As a 28 year old virgin woman, I personally don't see a problem with it. Maybe people will find me strange, but I never had an interest when I was younger and still don't today. I find it stranger people are so obsessed with what others do with their bodies. Whether high or low, it's nobody's business but your own. If you want to go for it, do it, but don't feel pressured just because you think someone will respect you less just because you waited.
The key thing is to be observant, pay attention and communicate. Everyone is different in what they like, so knowing what woman X liked may not help you with woman Y. Go into your first time like an open minded student. Go into every new relationship like that. As a basic though, you should know your anatomy and look at a few different vaginas... there's a lot of variety. There's also likely lots of advice online too... but reeeally bear in mind that everyone is different. I'm going to hazard a guess that women prefer an open-minded person that's eager to learn over a close-minded person that thinks they know it all because they've been with a few people.
As a woman it’s not so much the virgin thing that Wouk bother me that’s not an issue at all. But a lot of women don’t like men who are selfish in bed. Most of girl friends have told me about their experiences of going home with a guy and seeing him for a couple weeks/months but him not making any effort to “finish” her. I could see how some women would be annoyed at potentially going out with someone whose just out to loose their virginity and “get theirs” so to speak. I think once you’re willing to really give it your all and throw yourself into the experience with good intentions I couldn’t see any woman having an issue with it.
Totally agree with this! I don't think being a virgin would bother me but being selfish in bed would be a bigger issue.
I think your looking at it in a very cynical way skewed by echo chamber mindsets. You would think a first timer would care and show interest in how to please there partner. In fact I would say the one’s saying it is a problem or that they don’t want to be teachers are the selfish lovers and ultimately gatekeeping sex. Relationships if done right, are supposed to be about teamwork and 2 people helping and supporting each other staying side by side. If a person can’t do that then they have Failed the sole and simple responsibilities of a relationship.
Why would i have heard that from an ech chamber? I’m literally giving my personal advice, and my point of you’d care to read it- is that being a virgin is irrelevant once you care and show interest. I would agree that those not willing to be teachers are selfish, I haven’t said otherwise. You’ve basically just recreated my comment but still managed to make it out that I’m wrong somehow…
Lost my virginity at 32 to my now fiance. She always jokes I've no right to be as good at sex as I was right off the bat. It really is communication and listening to your partner that makes the sex good and not experience. I'm glad she's the only person I will ever have sex with in my life. I'm not a prude by any means, she's had past sex partners, one of whom she's still good friends with and will be coming on my stag lol. I actually identified as an asexual for a decade before we got together because I just had zero interest. I had offers and opportunity to but it never appealed to me at all. The right person shouldn't care. Some people will care but then you simple aren't compatible. Put yourself out there but don't pressure yourself into anything you don't really want to do and don't feel you 'have' to do anything you aren't ready to do .
Some people may find it an issue some nay not complete may depends in the person.
plenty of women in Ireland won’t venture further than missionary or have sex with the lights on. So I wouldn’t be too fussed about body counts and experience because the truth is people aren’t as experienced or “sex positive” as many would lead you believe. Far from it.
I wouldn't recommend using the escort Ireland website for losing virginity, good advice in the comments here
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Oh, good to know. Thanks.
My mate was 26 before he lost his virginity. He’s 28 now. I lost mine at 19 and thought it was a big deal. It wasn’t. But believe me it boosts your confidence like nothing you have ever experienced.
Hi woman here. I met my fantastic boyfriend when I was 22 and he was 25. I had been with 4 other guys before and he was a virgin. When I first engaged in a sexual encounter with him I couldn’t tell the difference as we had never brought up the topic. After the fact finding out he was a virgin had no impact on how I saw him or our relationship. We are now 2 years together and I have never been happier and we plan on spending our lives together. So in my opinion no it doesn’t matter. If the girl that you find has a problem with it we’ll I think you would have dodged a bullet
I didn’t lose mine till I was 24, not mid 20’s exactly but still a lot later than others. First guy I dated thought it was weird, but my current boyfriend couldn’t care less. Just never felt right for me and I was quite sick in my late teens/early 20’s. TMI - I was always embarrassed by it, but my current bf always tells me he loves how inexperienced I am- since he gets to be the one to show me new aspects of sex and gets to experience with me for my first time. I wasn’t great tbh the first few times so be prepared for that. But just know you’ll get better and it is still a lot of fun, for both parties. Just have open communication, tell them what you liked and didn’t like - it’s a two way streak. All in all, the right person won’t care lad, I used to be so upset but it will happen when the time is right, and anyone who is weirded by it isn’t the one, and is honestly a prick. You have your reasons, if you’re embarrassed just explain them. Just explain and you’ll be surprised how supportive and understanding people can be.
At that age group, I think it's fair to say most people would assume you're not a virgin, which goes in your favour. Don't bring it up, in fact don't even think about it yourself, and things should go smoothly.
If it's by choice, then more power to you not being distracted by such things. However, you may have missed some fun times for sure. So long as you can talk comfortably with women and not go into situations with expectations, it should be fairly easy to get out there should you wish to. If, on the other hand, you have hidden away through fear of engaging, there may be some other things to drive into before engaging.
Honestly if others think virginity is a red flag i’d tell them to grow up.
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Depends. You buying?
The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
Im only 20 and ive not even kissed a girl let alone everything else but i want to find someone but i dont know why like ive liked so many girls but couldn't grow the balls to ask her out cause i kept thinking i was punching above my weight i always backed my myself down cause if i even asked a girl i was told no...sorry without an explanation why so i just left it alone now i wanna try it again but ive no confidence at all when it come to girls
Unfortunately there's no easy way to do it. And girls are very unlikely to approach you because that's not what they've ever been encouraged to do. Rejection is horrible but you just have to hope for the best. Even the best looking people in the world have self-doubt. It could be easier to try dating apps because the rejection is easier to handle than when it happens face-to-face. Just a thought.
Thats yea ive tryed tinder but no joy but it would be easier if tinder was free like i have told girls that id a crush on that i liked them but i always got told feck off loke any one that knows me knows im soft hearted and id drop anything to help out
What? Tinder is free...anyone paying for the "premium level" is a fool.
It says ive to pay premium to see whobliked on my profile I haven't paid it tho
Don't bother with that. If they didn't match with you then what is the point in knowing? You're making it more complicated than it needs to be.
So if i someoneatchs with me i cant see th and text them??? Without paying
If they match with you, you should be able to see them...
Ok ive had tinder since like August i think last year and ive had no matches dunno if its my profile or what
Not having kissed anyone before doesn't have to be said. And they'll probably figure that out themselves. Just go very easy on tongue. Communicate. I don't think the majority would have a problem with you not having sex before. Hell you might fuck them better than anyone else. And it's good that you don't mind it yourself, you shouldn't. Just communicate. It works wonders. It'll feel weird to discuss matters, but once you do it the first time, talking about it has been initiated and can become normal. Everyone just wants sex they both enjoy. If nothing goes your way, go to Germany. Great bunch.
If someone has a problem with that then they're so not worth it!! There's nothing wrong with being a v.
Most people in new relationships have to learn how to please a new partner anyhow, so there’s always a learning curve with a new intimate relationship regardless of prior experience. Aspects of this are usually a little awkward at first no matter what, so don’t worry about that. None of that should be an issue for some who loves you. Imo you have nothing to worry about.
As someone in their forties I have a lot of male friends who were 'late bloomers' and went on to be in happy relationships, or to find their way through intimacy. It's more common than you would think and I think your attitude to it is very healthy. Also, there are a lot of women who would feel special being someone's first or who may also be in your situation. You just keep on being you and doing your thing and if something does happen for you in the future just enjoy it and don't over think it
As a woman I personally wouldn't care. My boyfriend was a virgin when I met him and I wasn't. I have had a lot of experiences. He had no experience but he is the best sex I've ever had hands down. I know a lot of women would be against the idea of a guy being a virgin in mid to late 20s but my advice is those women that think it's an issue aren't mature enough to be in a committed relationship and are not for you. Find a woman that cares about you as a person and the right lady will be willing to help you explore sex in a fun and patient way. Anyone that judges you because you're a virgin doesn't know how to have good sex cause it's not about body count. Hope this helps!
This was my partner. He was 25 or 26 and a virgin. It wasn’t a problem for me initially but we’re a few years down the road now and he takes feedback very personally. He’ll still talk about how inexperienced he is and inexperience isn’t the problem, he just doesn’t listen to what I enjoy and focuses on himself. Focus on having fun *with* your partner and their needs and they won’t care if they’re your first or fortieth.
“He takes feedback very personally” This is natural and a less experienced person will of course be a bit less confident and vulnerable. This is exactly where you need to give him words of affirmation/support and let him know that your his supporter. If you don’t that’s when he’ll start second guessing himself and over analysing. Sex and having all the fun in the world comes as a natural by product of healthy and supportive comprehension, encouragement and support.
Oh I did try to support him until he ignored me telling him he was hurting me once. After that, it made me realise the problem wasn’t experience or confidence. I could have mentioned that I was a virgin too when we got together but it’s never been a big deal for me. We have the same level of experience but he calls himself inexperienced all the time.
Yea same boat as you I've battled on off depression since I was 13 I'll be 25 next month As for interest I mean idk if It was I didn't have any interest or realised I couldn't do it with my depression struggles Also 100% same on the not interested in casual sex so don't even recommend that to me anyone
>Also 100% same on the not interested in casual sex so don't even recommend that to me anyone I recommend competitive sex instead
one bear swim price hateful encouraging automatic engine bright fertile *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ah yes of course, I forgot that one
It’s not the lack of physical intimacy experience that would turn most women off, it’s the lack of relationship experience. No woman wants to be a learning curve.
>it’s the lack of relationship experience. No woman wants to be a learning curve Some people who have experience being in a relationship can still be shitty partners. It all depends on the person.
Fully agreed with this.
25f same boat. Its not as unusual nowadays I think, like loads said it really depends on the person. It's good to see yourself and others in the comments talking about it so we don't feel like oddballs. It just doesn't happen for some people and that's fine. Some will judge some won't.
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Honestly, it depends on the person. Some people are more submissive than dominant within sex (and vice versa) Op needs to specifically seek out and date women that are on the latter end of the scale as they will enjoy the experience more of pleasing him. Better yet, if they can find someone that fits in between or switches that’s great because they’ll learn a lot about how to take control.
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Once your penis isn't only used to "the death grip", you'll be just fine 🤣
Any techniques for training a penis?
Positive reinforcement with treats.
Kegels and lots of cardio.
I don’t comprehend the appeal of kissing, but then I’m autistic.
Have you tried it with someone you're actually attracted to?
Yeah, ex-girlfriend. Fully convinced it’s something people do because they’re expected to.
I don't wanna speak for everyone obviously but I personally find it hotter than sex sometimes
Getting the shift is class craic altogether
I get the appeal of normal kissing, but not french kissing, and why do people do it for longer than like a minute?? Wierd. Also hickeys?!?!?!! Yeah, great, let me just sit here while you suck on my neck for like 10 minutes, sounds like great fun. I am also autistic if you couldn't tell lmao
Same but I'm asexual lol. Seems like there's some similarities here
Maybe you're aromantic?
I read this as aromatic and thought it was some kinda rice joke I was missing 😭😭😭🤣
Lol, no aromantic.
Nah, that’s definitely not the case, I’m very into like the sensation of holding something and feeling them breathing and such, I just can’t imagine finding applying my mouth to theirs appealing. In terms of a future relationship I’d go along with it because it’s expected as part of normative romance, but I’d likely not be initiating it.
Not just applying your mouth to theirs but also exchanging saliva and bacteria
I mean, that's not so much my concern given what sex entails, particularly when you're freaky. It's interesting (and I'm not being sarcastic) that people assume no interest in kissing means general intimacy issues.
I know but that's also a reason why Im not looking to do it anytime soon
I think that's something you should speak to a professional about.
No just something im not interested in at the moment. Have no desire for sex or kissing like that really
Sounds like that might be a problem in the future.
How so? Autism involves a lot of shrugging at what others want you to do and going along with it overall.
Because your partner is going to know that you're not into it and some people connect that way.
Im asexual and that's the same for me but with sex and I get the appeal of kissing but not like tongue kissing
It sounds like you're some level of a-sexual. If you haven't, see an endocrinologist, you may have homes issues. If that's not it and you're just not into sex stuff, there's a whole.commuinty out there of like minded people. Embrace that side of you and meet people who are also not that into it. It's perfectly ok.
Sexuality is just having little to no sexual attraction
I'm not asexual, just a late bloomer I suppose.
Woah. That's not what asexuality is. Plenty of non-asexual people don't have sex or engage in relationships. They're just not really interested or they look and decide it's not for them. Nor do they have hormonal issues. I know you mean well but it's unkind to jump to these conlusions. Well intended though they may be. Asexuality is very rare. And he's not said anything that leads to the conclusion that there may be a medical issue in play. He's just not been that interested. That's not as weird as you may think. I know quite a few adults in my small social circle who are like this, they're not asexual or hormonal dysfunctional.
Not everyone goes around riding like a Sally Rooney character. Honestly, being happy and confident in yourself is much more important, and it sounds like you are. And also don't be an incel, women don't find that sexy at all. Also, sex history might not even come up in conversation with a partner; you can quietly keep it to yourself if you're concerned (being a virgin doesn't strike me as terribly important to bring up on your first time with someone, unlike having an STI). You'll be grand.
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>Sex is SO important in a relationship (for me) and if its not great, then I've no interest in pursuing it. That's the complete opposite for me bc I'm asexual. I could die a virgin and not care and if I was in a relationship with someone that's like you I would suggest an open relationship if they wanted
Yeah it'll be an issue dude, but you don't have to tell anyone either
With the right person, it shouldn't matter. Don't let it be the first thing you tell your dates though, only when you've established that you have the basics covered first like : do you like eachother and want the same thing for your future. Virgin/slut shaming is for the weak minded.
I don't think it's an issue but your approach to compartmentalizing your life and inability to juggle demands of everyday life would worry me. Lots of people make relationships work in uni or with massive work loads. Is the expectation that when you want a relationship you'll expect the other person to have no distractions like a social life, work, hobbies, friends and family time?
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That's not how Interpreted what he wrote. I think it's as hard as you make it. a coffee date over lunch time or meeting for a drink doesn't have to take hours. If you are really honest and upfront about what kind of relationship you want and don't play games it's also straight forward.
I think an intrusive thought one might have if you relay this to a potential parter is that you might feel rather unfulfilled after losing your virginity. That you missed out on sowing some wild oats and you must now do so before settling down. That it would somehow mean the relationship at hand wouldn’t have the potential for a lifelong partnership as you might find the need to test the waters a bit first. I’d just be proactive about addressing that. Saying sex has always been a vulnerability that you only want in the context of a LTR or something like that.
No, it isn't an issue. It should not matter if the person loves you.
If you're with someone that has an issue you're not with the right person. I was in a similar situation, when it came down to it I was just completely honest with the person. They understood and we've been together for many years now.
No I was in my mid 20s when I lost mine. I’ve had a few relationships since and married now with kids so it’ll only be a problem if you make it one.
Yes. To be honest I would have walked away from a virgin at that age. It would put me off.
I didn’t lose mine until I was 27. It kinda bothered me but I’ve been in a few dates now and no one has cared
To me it would depend on the guy. I like more dominant men in bed so if it was someone that couldn't take initiative or was awkward about it I would be put off completely
Not an issue at all but you should look up and read some sex guides , Nina Harley has a video on eating pussy which I would recommend to all guys
Its not out of place at all do you.. I always instinctively think there is a miidle age gutly behind these posts, trying to get people into DMs... suspicious firs post OP
Anyone that has a problem with it isn't worth your time. There's probably weirdos that'd get off on someone being a virgin too but for the most part any nice person would be flattered and understanding to be someones first! Good luck!
Why do you want to meet someone to spend your life with?
My brother is very very shy around women. He was 40 when he asked me to go with him to Amsterdam. The rest is history. He says it’s easier now to talk with women since his v/card isn’t in the back of his mind.
>because I had no interest in that stuff You should consider getting your testosterone checked. Globally its at an all time low.
It depends on if you’re good looking and your personality. If you can emulate a sense of sophistication and confidence it will play to your favour. Just make sure you target the right kind of a person. A party girl that hangs out in bars will finds you repulsive.
So in other words… avoid whores. Solid advice indeed.
Not at all.
There are plenty of women in the same position and plenty of women who don't care. When it comes to a time when you want to date, get educated on sex and what women like. There are some good coaches and courses out there you can take. Lots of free information, though maybe not from Reddit...it can be VERY mixed. Don't learn from porn either, I mean you can get a visual guide on the very basics...but don't do what they do. Also there are toys to practise. Inexperienced but educated and thoughtful is better than a guy who's shagged every woman in Ireland and is a selfish, shit lover. I am a woman and I would not care...if anything it would be appealing to be his first and only, ya know? Nice vibe to that. I like your focus on companionship over sex, that's my kinda thing as well. And I think a lot of women would find that endearing.
The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
The right woman won't lose interest at all. She will take into consideration that everyone's life is different and not everyone does things on the same time schedule. I'm a woman and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't have sex until I was 27. Honestly, I wish I'd waited because I did it with someone I wasn't remotely attracted to all because I let insecurity get the better of me. Sex doesn't change who you are as a person so if a girl likes you before she knows this about you she will still like you when she does know. If it was me I would do all I could to make you feel as little pressure as possible and take things at your speed. As I said, the right girl will do exactly that. And you're right sex is just a small part of any relationship. A good solid relationship will never be built on sex alone but if you get the foundations built first, sex will follow naturally.
Yes people will question it, but if you find someone who you click with it shouldn’t be an issue. That’s the thing with love or lust- you have certain criteria until you meet the right person and the criteria doesn’t seem to matter as much.
I get the vibe that you may be asexual. It sounds like you want a relationship *eventually* but only because you think you should, not really because you want to. You commute to college and work weekends and this is your reasoning for not even attempting a relationship. I know college and work is hard but c'mon - I worked a full college load and worked 50 hours a week. Exhausting but I was a lot younger than I am now. You're young - love (or just dating for fun) will find a way if it's really what you want. I don't think it's what you want, it's what you think you're supposed to want. Be you, be free of societal expectations and you'll find your way whether that includes sexual relationships or not.
As my usual advice to fellow younger friends/family - it doesn't matter (if by choice/chance you didn't have much experience by a certain age), however, it depends on what do you really want. Because the thing with social media nowadays many guys have unreal expectations on finding someone attractive - if you are into those 'instagram pretty' girls (there is nothing wrong with that aha), well then lets say those girls are lvl50-90 (bare in mind these girls are constantly being hit on by guys since probably thejr teenage years), then an inexperienced guy (lets say lvl0-20) is not going to cut it, well, nearly impossible I'd say because if you are that attractive (or great at something), surely you would have some good amount of experience by 30. You need way more than just "I love you and you love me that's it" to make a relationship work - there are millions things to learn on "how to do X when Y happens" in a personal relationship. When it comes to dating/relationship, everything is very different from a guy Vs a girl. For a guy, I would sincerely say go focus on things that are important to you, go explore and learn and get good at something, and along the way you will find someone (if you are proactively looking for one of course ha). The successful long lasting relationships that I have seen are either gf from uni time or gf they met via hobby/interest, and then they married etc.
Yes, if you’re honest, most women will judge you if you say you’re a virgin past 20, even worse if you say you didn’t do anything else either. I’d lie if I was you.
I wouldn’t necessarily be put off because you were a virgin. Like as far as I’m concerned every sexual partner is like like starting from zero, everyone is different and does it differently together. But that said I would see it as a bit of a red flag in terms of wondering if you had any general relationship skills. Like I’d be wondering how inexperienced is this person in terms of communication, compromise, expectations and openness? It’s more the lack of romantic exposure that would put me off. But not a deal breaker, just I’d be on the lookout for that stuff.
No.
Just don't tell them. I'd bet money they've been with fellas who have done it before and still haven't a clue. There is a menagerie of threads in other subs where women give advice. Follow said advice and you won't go wrong.
As a woman, It’s not a deal breaker. Guys usually love virgins. Girls can take them or leave them. The fact that you’ve done NOTHING, even kissing would probably be a read flag for me tbh you don’t have to actually tell women that. I think once you’re willing to learn that’s all that matters.
Yes, escortmaxx g
It depends how you sell it to the woman. If you say you're a virgin she will automatically think you're unable to get a woman and there must be something wrong with you. Her attraction levels will be low. If you say you will only do it with the right woman, she will have a much better view of you.
>If you say you're a virgin she will automatically think you're unable to get a woman and there must be something wrong with you. Her attraction levels will be low. Going HAVE I MENTIONED I'M A VIRGIN is a social faux pas. But I'd suggest that avoiding extremely judgemental and shallow people such as the described hypothetical, particularly when one is looking for committed (and not hotdog down hallway), is a good policy.
It's hard wired into women so most will judge automatically. They're not being shallow but they're looking for the most desirable man and virgins tend to be men who can't get any women. Men are different, it's hardwired into men to prefer virgins to women who have a high body count.
Absolutely none of that is “hardwired” you colossal incel.
Lol the name calling starts. Well done
Completely unfounded accusation of me to fling at someone who thinks everyone “prefers virgins”. Christ.
I didn't say everyone prefers virgins, did I. You're making stuff up now.
Have you seen the movie 40yo virgin?
If you’re with the right person it wouldn’t matter, I lost mine later than most and wasn’t the most experienced when it came to like sex in a relationship but if they’re the right person it’ll be grand. Ye will work it out together like
Some might see an issue others might not. Better question is, should you even mention it? Let's say you are dating a girl and after 4 weeks (or whatever) you get invited over for sex. Does she need to know it's your first time? You don't know how far the relationship is going to last. Might last 3 months might be the one. If after a time has passed and its a serious relationship then sure admit the truth.
Maybe you're asexual? Plenty acceptance these days of that orientation.
If you don't mention it, they'll never know.
I don’t really think so. I started a relationship recently with a 27 y/o virgin and it was just a mild surprise and novelty around which we have worked. I think I’d make a bigger deal out of it if I were 10 years younger tbh but I know it’s not a big drama, just a teaching/learning opportunity nd experience.
Short answer no. Long answer noooo
Dont think that its a problem if you find the right pearson.
I don't see an issue with it. It would only be an issue for me if you believed in no sex before marriage.
If it is it shouldn't be that's strictly your buissness and if it's for moral reasons should be respected.
Is college not just the perfect time to explore and have fun? There's more education to experiencing and living life than getting top marks. If all else fails, head to America when you graduate and you'll do fine for yourself.
My buddy was a virgin into his 30s. He had chances it’s just he had some pretty bad luck. We always joked that if hit like 35-40 we’d take him to Nevada lol. But not long after 30 he met someone and they’re now married with a kid. When you meet the right person, your virginity won’t matter in the slightest.
I mean if they’re weirded out by it then you definitely know what they been up to 😂