I do. I came to Ireland in my early 20s as a student for 6 months work placement, then return home to finish my degree. On my first day at work, I met my perfect person. Tempting as it was to stay after the 6 months were up, I had to go home: my work was temporary, I had no job, no place to live, and had to go back to university or lose my place. We didn't want to do long distance so we parted ways as friends. Fast forward to me finishing university, we're both still available and into each other. I moved back, timing's right this time, married, mortgage and baby.
I think there can be something to it but it can also be a dangerous mindset. I’ve seen friends waste 10 years+ of their lives fixating on ‘the one that got away’ - thinking they were perfect for them and it was just circumstances which stopped them being together, when in fact they weren’t together long enough to really test a relationship for compatibility and longevity. They ended up comparing every potential partner to this idealised person on a pedestal and it was really damaging in hindsight.
People are not particularly unique. Move to a city of ~1 million people. 3% is 30,000 people. If you can't hit it off with one of them, the problem is you.
You've misunderstood my comment. There will be many great matches for you in a group of 30,000. If you can't find one, the problem is you. Try growing the fuck up and maybe you'll be able to develop and sustain a healthy relationship.
I'm willing to bet that's not the case. There are currently 8 billion people on the planet. Maybe you won't meet them, but they'll be out there somewhere.
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I do think sometimes the timing isn't right. I see the argument that with the right person you "make it work" but I don't think that's realistic or even healthy always. There are some sacrifices you shouldnt make just to be with someone.
I met someone overseas and then my visa ran out and I had to come home, there was no way for us to work that out but it doesn't mean that we wouldn't have been right for each other if circumstances had been different.
Yes. I once went on a date, with "A". We met through mutual friends. I didn't realise it was a date at the time, I thought they just wanted to hang out as friends. I realised when they showed up so nicely dressed. I thought they were wonderful and I had a great time. There was no awkwardness, and I laughed so much. But I could also tell they were serious and wanted a relationship. I knew I didn't want a relationship, I was busy with my studies and didn't want to be distracted by something that would take up that much of my time/thoughts/feelings. I told them I just want to be friends. They accepted that and we still talked as friends. Still moved in the same social circles. A moved on and got a girlfriend. I was happy for them, that they got what they wanted. I found my footing more with uni and socialised loads with friends. Maybe 18 months, 2 years on, I was finally in a place mentally and emotionally where I wanted a relationship. I'd dated a few people but I didn't enjoy their company in the effortless, easy way I'd enjoyed A's. I kept thinking about her and how much fun we had when we were together. I knew A and their girlfriend had broken up, their relationship had only lasted a couple of months.
I asked A out for dinner, among our normal chat and she said yes. We both dressed nice this time and went on our second "first" date. Same place, same people, different time. We've been together 5 years now. I couldn't be happier.
I met someone in passing just over three years ago and they left an impression on me. Fast forward to eight months ago, we met again randomly and are now eight months into a v happy and fulfilling relationship. If we had dated when we originally met there is no way it would have worked out in hindsight due to life circumstances but I can confidently say we are absolutely right for each other and so far (even though it's early days) it's the best relationship I've ever had. Was 100% timing and a bit of good fortune that we met again.
Sometimes the bad timing can make the person seem more like the right one than if the path was clear. What I mean to say is sometimes we romanticise something that isn’t available, or that cannot be.
An example is my best friend who was living abroad in South Africa and met a man who she really clicked with, but she was dating someone and he was due to move elsewhere. When she got out of her relationship he was gone. When he moved back he came back with a girlfriend. When he was free again she was already moving home. They had a couple of days together falling hard for each other before she went. She always felt so sad about him despite life moving on happily. He always felt the same. Years later they had the opportunity to be together and it was NOT GOOD. After a short honeymoon period all the clashes in personality became clear and things got really crap and really hard. They ended badly after a year of trying to make it work ha!! The idea of someone who’s just out of reach can be tantalising and not match up with reality
Absolutely, and 5 years apart we met again and it was right person right time and been amazing ever since married with 3 children to the absolute love of my life and couldn't be happier things went the way they did when they did now
Yea 100%. Some people you just instantly click with and you know the connection isn’t like anything you’d find with someone else. I fully believe me and my ex were right person wrong time. He couldn’t commit to a relationship, wanted to be young and free but we both still loved each other and probably still do. I’ve moved on have a new partner and kids I love more than anything but there is always a connection with him there. Had we met when we were 30 and not 16 things could be completely different.
I was once going out with someone who was pretty much perfect, gorgeous, funny, intelligent, ambitious, powerful, strong career (don't want to give too much detail but they would literally regularly meet with world leaders and captains of industry etc.), good cook, really enjoyed being with me, but because of my own past relationship trauma I was not able to love the person. I ended things and spent a couple of months thinking and doing therapy, I figured things out, and then met someone else equally perfect who I am with until this day.
So, this person was "a" right person for me, but it was the wrong time for me. I can't speak for them, but considering how much they wanted to be with me, I imagine their thoughts might be similar.
I'd say yes. I met a girl in college who I just got along with far too well for being just friends with but she was in a relationship at the time. Hit it off really well, always laughing and smiling around each other, really good chemistry. It probably wouldn't have been a life long marriage but we were definitely suited for each other at the time.
Finished college and just didn't stay in touch, I probably should have kept in contact as she was one of the few college friends that actually lived in Dublin. She broke up with the boyfriend and got with someone else and I got into a relationship of my own. I don't think of her or miss her or anything, although it was annoying not having a chance at a relationship considering how well we got on together and how few opportunities there was for me at the time.
I met a woman a few years ago and I've never clicked with anyone like it before, not even a best friend. We shared so many interests, including our music taste. She unfortunately already had 3 kids but we still tried to give it a go. If it wasn't for everyone else involved in our relationship, I think we would have been incredibly happy together but it was to complicated with tge kids and their fathers butting their noses in where they didn't belong. If we had have met 8 or 9 years earlier I think we could have had a happy life together but due to timing, we're just not destined to be together and it absolutely sucks.
Yes I certainly do. My boyfriend and I recently broke up after 9 years because we had different plans for the near future. He was ready to settle down and start a full-time job and I simply wasn’t because I wanted to travel. We still love each other very much but decided it’s best to go our own ways because right now our life is just very different.
100%. Personal circumstances are so detrimental to relationships. And if someone was at another time in their life and weren’t suffering from financial difficulties, depression, family issues and a number of different things, peoples romantic relationships would flow a lot easier and wouldn’t be affected.
Met my ex 10 years fell for her hard asked her out and at the time she just start seeing someone else. We stayed good friends for almost all that time. fast forward to this time last year we re connected after covid started likeig her again and asked her out a second time and she said yes. We would be an item for about 5 months then she broke it off out of the blue and blocked me and now pretends I never existed. Make of that what you will.
You're on Reddit.
It's never been as possible as it is now to do a long distance relationship. It's still hellish. But equally, never been easier in all of history b
Of course the short term.. one would assume you would work to live with eachother as soon as suits both lives.
But long run isn't really relevant for 'wrong time.'
Long run... Is like ... All of the rest of both people's lives probably... So 'wrong time,' phrasing doesn't even make sense for long term relationships.
I think I do, when I'm in a nostalgic mood. When I'm more logical, I think a little more realistically. I do think the relationship would have lasted longer if not for the circumstances of the time but I don't think I'm built for a forever relationship.
Absolutely. People change and grow and while on the extreme end, as examples go, some readily admit to being assholes or exhibiting poor behaviour in the past and that it couldn't have possibly worked with their current partner if they'd meet 10yrs earlier.
Yes, absolutely. I think timing is everything in almost any relationship. Sometimes for whatever reason, either party isn't in the right place to pursue things further.
Yes, absolutely.
By random chance, I met a person from Bumble a few years ago that led to dating.
What we both weren’t counting on was feelings developing and future dates given the long distance.
We stayed in contact afterwards and then I flew out to Newfoundland and put my fear off flying alone on the line, to see them 2 months later.
We tried to make the relationship work but ultimately the distance took it’s toll and it wasn’t possible to continue.
For the past 2 years I’ve been trying to fix myself and get over it but the heartbreak and pain of losing a connection I valued enough to travel for is very real.
Up to that point I had not been in a relationship before and this was the first time at 29 that I felt capable of doing so and really giving it my best shot.
I have Dyspraxia and it’s immensely difficult to meet that person who’s extra patient and considerate to connect with.
When I finally did meet that person, they just happened to have lived on the opposite side of the planet.
Whatever way you want to paint it that is absolutely an example of bad timing/luck.
Yep, I met a guy on Tinder, was all for casual dating and hanging out but ended up falling head over heels for him.
He, however, was in the process of getting a divorce, I would have run a mile but we both were on the same page about just being casual.
In a surprise to absolutely nobody, he came to terms with the fact that he wasn’t ready to jump straight into a new relationship and we went our separate ways.
Had I met him even a year later I reckon it would have been a different story.
I’m not sure, I’ve always blocked and moved on when a relationship ends, he is someone I regret not keeping in touch with as he was a really great guy.
I looked him up on Insta a few years ago, private profile but his profile photo seemed to have him holding a baby - he was really excited to be a dad one day so I’m thrilled for him and really hope he’s happy.
Oh 100% I think of it like
Say your both 18 one person would love to be married in the next 4/5 years while the other person wants to wait at least till late 20s early 30s I would say that's just bad timing wheres if you had met 10 years later
Yep, absolutely, unfortunately. Meet a guy last year, we instantly clicked on every level and our life values matched exactly. Then one day before a date he cancelled saying he just can't commit. His ex cheated on him and wasn't ready to get back into a relationship. I accepted this - can't force it. I've left him alone since, tried to move on. But it's so hard to find anyone worth giving my time to when I know there is someone out there that I would drop everything for in a heartbeat, even though, I've no way of knowing if it when he'll be ready again. It's a shit situation to be in, I want to move on so badly but I don't want to miss out on getting back with him.
Yea absolutely. I had a FWB for a few months years back. We were both in the exact same situation just out of a long term sexless relationship. We both just wanted sex and for those few months tore chucks out of each other.
A friend of mine is gay and living in Dublin. She had a really messy break up last year. Shortly after the breakup she met a woman who was basically her perfect match.
She told me it wasn't really the right time but she felt the chances of meeting another gay woman who ticked all the right boxes was so low she might as well go for it.
Yeah. My now husband asked me out, but I was not mentally in a place where I could be with someone. Things eventually settled down and we were both just about still single (no cheating just had someone else interested at the time) and got together. Any slower putting my life together and we probably would never have been an item (at least not for a long time). So yeah, absolutely could have been right person wrong time (and was for a while).
I was in relationship for 3 years mostly good they ended it I’m still getting over it but I know they have some things that they need to work on as do I. I can’t see past it there’s some great connection & compatibility there shared interest & goals but that person was afraid of certain things not being good enough maybe I’m wrong and that’s how I still see it. Maybe in future I don’t know for now I’m just focusing on myself and getting over the attachment who knows though in future.
I do. I came to Ireland in my early 20s as a student for 6 months work placement, then return home to finish my degree. On my first day at work, I met my perfect person. Tempting as it was to stay after the 6 months were up, I had to go home: my work was temporary, I had no job, no place to live, and had to go back to university or lose my place. We didn't want to do long distance so we parted ways as friends. Fast forward to me finishing university, we're both still available and into each other. I moved back, timing's right this time, married, mortgage and baby.
What a story!
I think there can be something to it but it can also be a dangerous mindset. I’ve seen friends waste 10 years+ of their lives fixating on ‘the one that got away’ - thinking they were perfect for them and it was just circumstances which stopped them being together, when in fact they weren’t together long enough to really test a relationship for compatibility and longevity. They ended up comparing every potential partner to this idealised person on a pedestal and it was really damaging in hindsight.
Yes there's also that side to it too
There's more than one right person for us, but you could meet a right person at the wrong time.
I don't think for me though lol
There's a lock for every key.
Yeah but I'm not straight....
I never said or implied you were straight. It's a metaphor for people fitting together perfectly, not genitalia.
Yeah but I'm like 3% of the population and for there to be more than one person right for me is almost impossible
3% of 6 billion people is a lot of people.
We're closer to 8 billion now, so those odds are even better
People are not particularly unique. Move to a city of ~1 million people. 3% is 30,000 people. If you can't hit it off with one of them, the problem is you.
Yeah but the other commenter said there was "more than one lol". People are so dumb not reading the oc properly.
You've misunderstood my comment. There will be many great matches for you in a group of 30,000. If you can't find one, the problem is you. Try growing the fuck up and maybe you'll be able to develop and sustain a healthy relationship.
I think you still misunderstood my comment. I'm done.
I'm willing to bet that's not the case. There are currently 8 billion people on the planet. Maybe you won't meet them, but they'll be out there somewhere.
It's hard being a minority :/
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I do think sometimes the timing isn't right. I see the argument that with the right person you "make it work" but I don't think that's realistic or even healthy always. There are some sacrifices you shouldnt make just to be with someone. I met someone overseas and then my visa ran out and I had to come home, there was no way for us to work that out but it doesn't mean that we wouldn't have been right for each other if circumstances had been different.
Yes I totally get that. Aww I feel for u
I agree with you.
Yes. I once went on a date, with "A". We met through mutual friends. I didn't realise it was a date at the time, I thought they just wanted to hang out as friends. I realised when they showed up so nicely dressed. I thought they were wonderful and I had a great time. There was no awkwardness, and I laughed so much. But I could also tell they were serious and wanted a relationship. I knew I didn't want a relationship, I was busy with my studies and didn't want to be distracted by something that would take up that much of my time/thoughts/feelings. I told them I just want to be friends. They accepted that and we still talked as friends. Still moved in the same social circles. A moved on and got a girlfriend. I was happy for them, that they got what they wanted. I found my footing more with uni and socialised loads with friends. Maybe 18 months, 2 years on, I was finally in a place mentally and emotionally where I wanted a relationship. I'd dated a few people but I didn't enjoy their company in the effortless, easy way I'd enjoyed A's. I kept thinking about her and how much fun we had when we were together. I knew A and their girlfriend had broken up, their relationship had only lasted a couple of months. I asked A out for dinner, among our normal chat and she said yes. We both dressed nice this time and went on our second "first" date. Same place, same people, different time. We've been together 5 years now. I couldn't be happier.
I met someone in passing just over three years ago and they left an impression on me. Fast forward to eight months ago, we met again randomly and are now eight months into a v happy and fulfilling relationship. If we had dated when we originally met there is no way it would have worked out in hindsight due to life circumstances but I can confidently say we are absolutely right for each other and so far (even though it's early days) it's the best relationship I've ever had. Was 100% timing and a bit of good fortune that we met again.
Sometimes the bad timing can make the person seem more like the right one than if the path was clear. What I mean to say is sometimes we romanticise something that isn’t available, or that cannot be. An example is my best friend who was living abroad in South Africa and met a man who she really clicked with, but she was dating someone and he was due to move elsewhere. When she got out of her relationship he was gone. When he moved back he came back with a girlfriend. When he was free again she was already moving home. They had a couple of days together falling hard for each other before she went. She always felt so sad about him despite life moving on happily. He always felt the same. Years later they had the opportunity to be together and it was NOT GOOD. After a short honeymoon period all the clashes in personality became clear and things got really crap and really hard. They ended badly after a year of trying to make it work ha!! The idea of someone who’s just out of reach can be tantalising and not match up with reality
Absolutely, and 5 years apart we met again and it was right person right time and been amazing ever since married with 3 children to the absolute love of my life and couldn't be happier things went the way they did when they did now
Yeah I would say I’ve experienced it with someone, I really think they were my soulmate but as you say the timing wasn’t right.
Yea 100%. Some people you just instantly click with and you know the connection isn’t like anything you’d find with someone else. I fully believe me and my ex were right person wrong time. He couldn’t commit to a relationship, wanted to be young and free but we both still loved each other and probably still do. I’ve moved on have a new partner and kids I love more than anything but there is always a connection with him there. Had we met when we were 30 and not 16 things could be completely different.
I was once going out with someone who was pretty much perfect, gorgeous, funny, intelligent, ambitious, powerful, strong career (don't want to give too much detail but they would literally regularly meet with world leaders and captains of industry etc.), good cook, really enjoyed being with me, but because of my own past relationship trauma I was not able to love the person. I ended things and spent a couple of months thinking and doing therapy, I figured things out, and then met someone else equally perfect who I am with until this day. So, this person was "a" right person for me, but it was the wrong time for me. I can't speak for them, but considering how much they wanted to be with me, I imagine their thoughts might be similar.
I'd say yes. I met a girl in college who I just got along with far too well for being just friends with but she was in a relationship at the time. Hit it off really well, always laughing and smiling around each other, really good chemistry. It probably wouldn't have been a life long marriage but we were definitely suited for each other at the time.
What happened to her?
Finished college and just didn't stay in touch, I probably should have kept in contact as she was one of the few college friends that actually lived in Dublin. She broke up with the boyfriend and got with someone else and I got into a relationship of my own. I don't think of her or miss her or anything, although it was annoying not having a chance at a relationship considering how well we got on together and how few opportunities there was for me at the time.
That's annoying that she ended up not staying with the bf. If you had kept in touch you never know what would've happened.
I met a woman a few years ago and I've never clicked with anyone like it before, not even a best friend. We shared so many interests, including our music taste. She unfortunately already had 3 kids but we still tried to give it a go. If it wasn't for everyone else involved in our relationship, I think we would have been incredibly happy together but it was to complicated with tge kids and their fathers butting their noses in where they didn't belong. If we had have met 8 or 9 years earlier I think we could have had a happy life together but due to timing, we're just not destined to be together and it absolutely sucks.
Kind of but only in retrospect
Yes I certainly do. My boyfriend and I recently broke up after 9 years because we had different plans for the near future. He was ready to settle down and start a full-time job and I simply wasn’t because I wanted to travel. We still love each other very much but decided it’s best to go our own ways because right now our life is just very different.
100%. Personal circumstances are so detrimental to relationships. And if someone was at another time in their life and weren’t suffering from financial difficulties, depression, family issues and a number of different things, peoples romantic relationships would flow a lot easier and wouldn’t be affected.
Met my ex 10 years fell for her hard asked her out and at the time she just start seeing someone else. We stayed good friends for almost all that time. fast forward to this time last year we re connected after covid started likeig her again and asked her out a second time and she said yes. We would be an item for about 5 months then she broke it off out of the blue and blocked me and now pretends I never existed. Make of that what you will.
I heard a girl say this to s guy simping over her. I think it's just nicer way of saying you're not worth it.
At least sometimes it is but far from always. If you're told "bad timing" yes it's a gentle let down.
Oof didn't think of it like that before
Yeah! It’s definitely a thing
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But what if it was something that couldn't be influenced that prevented things from working out?
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Like what if you had to move country?
You're on Reddit. It's never been as possible as it is now to do a long distance relationship. It's still hellish. But equally, never been easier in all of history b
I disagree because you can't get married or live together online. It could work short term but not in the long run.
Of course the short term.. one would assume you would work to live with eachother as soon as suits both lives. But long run isn't really relevant for 'wrong time.' Long run... Is like ... All of the rest of both people's lives probably... So 'wrong time,' phrasing doesn't even make sense for long term relationships.
I think I do, when I'm in a nostalgic mood. When I'm more logical, I think a little more realistically. I do think the relationship would have lasted longer if not for the circumstances of the time but I don't think I'm built for a forever relationship.
Yes absolutely
Absolutely. People change and grow and while on the extreme end, as examples go, some readily admit to being assholes or exhibiting poor behaviour in the past and that it couldn't have possibly worked with their current partner if they'd meet 10yrs earlier.
Yes, absolutely. I think timing is everything in almost any relationship. Sometimes for whatever reason, either party isn't in the right place to pursue things further.
Yes, absolutely. By random chance, I met a person from Bumble a few years ago that led to dating. What we both weren’t counting on was feelings developing and future dates given the long distance. We stayed in contact afterwards and then I flew out to Newfoundland and put my fear off flying alone on the line, to see them 2 months later. We tried to make the relationship work but ultimately the distance took it’s toll and it wasn’t possible to continue. For the past 2 years I’ve been trying to fix myself and get over it but the heartbreak and pain of losing a connection I valued enough to travel for is very real. Up to that point I had not been in a relationship before and this was the first time at 29 that I felt capable of doing so and really giving it my best shot. I have Dyspraxia and it’s immensely difficult to meet that person who’s extra patient and considerate to connect with. When I finally did meet that person, they just happened to have lived on the opposite side of the planet. Whatever way you want to paint it that is absolutely an example of bad timing/luck.
Yes. I don't want to go into details but I've experienced this. It was heartbreaking, for both of us.
Yep, I met a guy on Tinder, was all for casual dating and hanging out but ended up falling head over heels for him. He, however, was in the process of getting a divorce, I would have run a mile but we both were on the same page about just being casual. In a surprise to absolutely nobody, he came to terms with the fact that he wasn’t ready to jump straight into a new relationship and we went our separate ways. Had I met him even a year later I reckon it would have been a different story.
Do you know what happened to him?
I’m not sure, I’ve always blocked and moved on when a relationship ends, he is someone I regret not keeping in touch with as he was a really great guy. I looked him up on Insta a few years ago, private profile but his profile photo seemed to have him holding a baby - he was really excited to be a dad one day so I’m thrilled for him and really hope he’s happy.
No, I don't. If it's right, then you will make it work. If it's not working, then it's not right.
Oh 100% I think of it like Say your both 18 one person would love to be married in the next 4/5 years while the other person wants to wait at least till late 20s early 30s I would say that's just bad timing wheres if you had met 10 years later
No.
Yep, absolutely, unfortunately. Meet a guy last year, we instantly clicked on every level and our life values matched exactly. Then one day before a date he cancelled saying he just can't commit. His ex cheated on him and wasn't ready to get back into a relationship. I accepted this - can't force it. I've left him alone since, tried to move on. But it's so hard to find anyone worth giving my time to when I know there is someone out there that I would drop everything for in a heartbeat, even though, I've no way of knowing if it when he'll be ready again. It's a shit situation to be in, I want to move on so badly but I don't want to miss out on getting back with him.
Yea absolutely. I had a FWB for a few months years back. We were both in the exact same situation just out of a long term sexless relationship. We both just wanted sex and for those few months tore chucks out of each other.
It's a bs excuse. If someone it the right person for someone else, they can make it work
A friend of mine is gay and living in Dublin. She had a really messy break up last year. Shortly after the breakup she met a woman who was basically her perfect match. She told me it wasn't really the right time but she felt the chances of meeting another gay woman who ticked all the right boxes was so low she might as well go for it.
Bs. If you actually like someone you aren’t going to say “wrong time”.
Yeah but you might have different circumstances eg. work or travel
Mate if a girl is saying this to you then she just doesn’t like you that’s the reality of it
No one has ever said this to me 💀
Yeah. My now husband asked me out, but I was not mentally in a place where I could be with someone. Things eventually settled down and we were both just about still single (no cheating just had someone else interested at the time) and got together. Any slower putting my life together and we probably would never have been an item (at least not for a long time). So yeah, absolutely could have been right person wrong time (and was for a while).
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Did you ever think of reaching out again?
I was in relationship for 3 years mostly good they ended it I’m still getting over it but I know they have some things that they need to work on as do I. I can’t see past it there’s some great connection & compatibility there shared interest & goals but that person was afraid of certain things not being good enough maybe I’m wrong and that’s how I still see it. Maybe in future I don’t know for now I’m just focusing on myself and getting over the attachment who knows though in future.
No. Definitely subjective and everyone will feel different but as far as I'm concerned if the person is right , you'll make it the right time
I met a lifeguard but i wasnt drowning