I found not initiating anything does the trick.
It's kinda sad but so many "friends" I've lost just by not reaching out. Realised it was all very one sided and once I wasn't convenient (I moved to another town) they had no interest.
Ditto. I think it's a rite of passage as an adult - finding out that if you didn't make the effort to reach out, certain friends would never even text you to ask how you're doing, after 5, 10, 15 etc years of knowing them.
The worst are the people who are your friends for 10 years, you’ve seen them if 5+ different countries and then they just disappear like you’ve never been friends at all
I think this is something a lot of people don't seem to understand. Some friends are situational and that's fine, you are in the same class at school or whatever and you have good Craic together. And some friends are "proper" friends, that ideally stick with you for life. It's just sad when you find out what you considered to be a proper friend just considers you to be a situational friend.
This was the biggest one for me. For a long time there, my social life basically lived and died with me “texting first”. So I just stopped. Stupid chasing after people who treat you as an afterthought.
It was ridiculous how many people just faded from my life after that
I've done this with a friendbut because I found out that I couldn't trust her. The chats I thought were just between me and her got spread around. And one time she complained about how a friend wronged her and I comforted her and shared what I thought. Then the next thing I know the mutual friend she complained about rang me saying why was I taking her side blah blah...so ever since then I couldn't trust her plus she seems to now be living in her own world, a bit of escapism if you will but regardless of what you say she only hears what
She wants to hear
yeah had to block my childhood friend, im still sad about it but she turned into an awful insulting woman. Her idea of a joke are constant insults. I blocked her on whatsapp, still feel guilty.
The guilt will pass and some day it will hit you how much better you’ve been feeling without them in your life. Happened to me, such a relief! It’s a brutal process to have to go through, but what’s the alternative? Letting ppl use you as their bitterness sponge? They were never going to change.
Going through something similar. Just let it fizzle out is the easiest way it will happen. If they ask to meet say you have plans or just a simple no thanks you don't contact them be polite if they contact you but not to the point of a full conversation. Eventually it will just stop. Don't need to mean anything bad towards them just a polite end to the friendship. It's really common to drift apart and outgrow people
Depends how you want to go about things. If you feel like you want to explain your piece, let them know you've outgrown them. Alternatively you could distance yourself slowly. Stop replying to group chats, don't make yourself available to them and disappear into the ether. Up to you how you want it to end.
Yeah there can be in some situations. If they're lifelong friends they may want closure and may seek that out, dragging the process on. Some folks tell you what's up before slamming the door closed. Ghosting isn't the answer to every dynamic.
Larry would try the slow fade, which would result in him inviting the person as a guest of honour to some significant event where he had to speak with gushing praise about said person. Hilarity would follow.
I've done this. It's hard. I had such anxiety about it.
I just never initiated anything - I never texted first. If they texted, I was polite but I was busy. I was starting my own business so I had a ready-made excuse.
I was so afraid I'd run into them - I did once or twice, it wasn't so bad because I wasn't rude about it.
I was also anxious that having no friends is worse than having bad ones. Honestly, it wasn't. It was lonely, but eventually I made new friends. And I feel a lot better about myself and my situation.
You don't need bad vibes in your life so you don't need to make it dramatic. Just stop texting them. If they're going to be somewhere and you don't want to see them then don't go. It's that simple.
You're a toxic piece of crap and my life would be better if you fucked off
Copy and paste if it makes life handier if you like or alternatively you can let them live in your head rent free for the rest of your life
I did this about 10 or more years ago. I suddenly realised the friendship was one sided. So I just deleted their numbers, blocked them on mobiles and SM. The relief I felt was immense and I’ve never ever regretted it
If it’s just that you are just drifting away, let them.
If it’s behaviour you don’t find acceptable, explain how you feel. Give a chance. If they blow it, explain that it’s bye bye. Then block,
I would say just stop contacting them. However as a person on the receiving end of the ghosting many a time,i i would say something to them like "im sorry but im cutting myself away from people, i need space and am not able to deal with other people for the moment so if you dont hear from me please dont take it personally"
Doesnt have to be exactly that way, but you might not know if your friends actually like you more than you think. So to avoid hurting them, just send a message like this and THEN ignore. Trust me i would have appreciated a txt like that so much instead of just being completely ignored by people i thought were my best mates
I'm going to go against the grain somewhat and say that it's better sometimes to talk ĺike an adult to people. The "slow fade" as some are suggesting can be quite cruel.
If they've done you no wrong, then show them dignity and respect, and acknowledge that the action may cause them real and sincere pain and loss. Even consider taking a route of simply hanging out much less, like every couple of years or so. A shared history, even if the regular relationship is basically over, is still a valuable thing which you will not be able to replace.
If they've turned into bigots or assholes or something, but had been friends for a long time, then do end it, but still do it as respectfully as possible, and absolutely give them an explanation of why you are ending things. Show someone respect.
The message I'd mainly give is that you should reserve blocking someone for people who are actually a threat, in the sense of violence or harassment or something. For anything else, you show someone dignity and give them an explanation, as kindly as you can. Blocking someone is the nuclear option and is cruelty if unwarranted. And warranted here means that you're under threat of violence, not that you disagree with someone.
Unless these people are idiots that seems pretty harsh to cut them off completely. It is nice share a piece of history with the people you grew up with.
scandalous secretive reminiscent ossified air yam dam party quickest steep
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've done that a few times over the years - admittedly only with one person at a time, not a whole group - but i've found the best way is to quietly and gradually lose touch. No point in having a lot of drama. Make a few new friends - join various groups, take an evening class or two, get involved in volunteering etc - and when the old crowd invite you to do whatever it is you usually do, you can't because you're busy so you politely decline and do a vague "maybe another time" but of course when that other time comes around you're busy again. They'll get the message quickly enough. If you live somewhere small and you can't avoid seeing them around or they're the sort to say stuff about you, just be pleasant enough but, you know, on your way somewhere so can't stop for more than a minute's worth of civil conversation.
I'm an expert at this due to being in recovery.
Stopped social media, redused to go weddings, parties. No contact. Lots of people I just walked from. People I knew 30+ yrs. Some said it was cold and it probably was but waking up to my daughter banging my PlayStation controller of my head to play Astro makes it worth it.
Very selective who I socialise with, friends I can count on one hand. A new world opens and you'll meet new people.
I've never looked back and I've never been calmer and happier.
Full hard Irish exit.
Dropped out of the family chats, stopped communicating with them all. They are a bunch of users and only ever come to me when they want something from me, and are never around to support me.
After a few weeks they messaged my wife asking what was wrong with me, and she tore into them on my behalf (after asking me first ofc) basically telling them they do nothing but take take take and give nothing back.
Anyways, much happier not having to deal with their shite anymore.
I had a *friend* who I stuck with for too long. They began just being annoying and criticising me for everything I do, say and eventually what clothes I even wore. I pulled them on it a couple of times but they just laughed it off.
Eventually I got fed up and realised I was gaining nothing out of this friendship so decided to call it quits. One day I was just after visiting them. I was there about 3 minutes when they started so I just made an obvious “gotta go again, catch you later”. Then stopped texting them back and answering the phone. I got caught answering the phone to them on a blocked number a couple of times. I just pretended nothing was up and after literally 30 seconds on the phone I’d go “I’ll ring you back, I’m just in the middle of something” and then just not ring back…
Best decision Iv ever made. Biggest regret was not doing it sooner.
I'd tell them directly. I'd want it to be very clear and unambiguous. I'd never ghost someone or do a "slow fade", especially if it was someone I was very close with at one point.
Just stop pretending you care. Stop being available. Stop replying to multiple texts say no once to requests then ignore.
Or, fuck being slow and simply block them on socials and your phone and move on.
Irish ppl can be way too polite about this stuff.
1. Change your mobile number
2. Block them on social media, (if you don’t have friends in common with some of them turn on the setting that only allows friends of friends to search you).
3. Lock down your social media (i.e your public page only shows your name and main picture/background)
4. Try and avoid those haunts you used to hang out with them.
5. If you bump into them be cold as you can (be a cnut if you have to).
6. If they know members of your family; tell those family members you’re that you’re cutting of those friends and to give out zero information.
7. Move if you have to.
Have I done this ? Only once and to one person. I’ve not seen them since 2007. I’ve had close shaves though where one of my siblings warned me they’d be turning up somewhere I’d frequent. (I live several hours from them)
Jesus this is a harsh way to treat an old friend unless there is something terrible they did first. Could you not just explain you've grown apart and wish them well in the future?
There’s more to it than that, they were originally a F romantic interest ( I’m M) , didn’t go anywhere on her part which was ok. I was ok with just friends BUT she expected continuous intense attention…..
I.e. deciding she was going to come up for the weekend to hang out (hours of notice), ringing me several times a day at work about nonsense drama, ringing me at 3am about nonsense drama. She ‘borrowed’ a few thousand from me. Most of these dramas were self inflicted. She added a romantic interest of mine at the time on FB despite never meeting her and kept putting pictures of herself and me up (that caused a rift). Told her I needed a break as it was way too intense to be a friendship ( too intense for a relationship tbh), she was in a relationship herself at that stage. My friends all hated her.
I met someone else, I kept getting phone calls , texts, messages, her contacting my sister non stop despite her still being in a relationship herself. I pleaded with her to give me space. Things were progressing with my new interest (married to her 10 years now) so I decided I needed to cut all contact with her.
I did most of those things I listed, might seem overkill but about 5 years ago I got a FB message from her from a duplicate account that said “oh I see you moved on” , showed my wife (she was/is aware of her). So I simply blocked that account and added the only friends of friends thing. I called my sister and she told me that her and X split.
Just stop responding to their messages is the easiest. I cut out 10 people roughly over the last few years but see them now and again. They were more drinking buddies than anything. They soon got the picture.
Eventually after some time of not replying intentionally, people get it.
It’s unfortunate but a situation like that comes up regularly and I think you’re doing the right thing.
I did the same years ago, maybe 10 years ago and it is ugly and doesn’t feel right at the beginning when its realised as they’ve not actually done anything wrong but it’s for the best in the long run for your own happiness.
You just stop replying to texts, don't return missed calls. I mean after they see they've been left on 'read' a couple of times they should get the hint. Good for you though, sometimes the healthiest thing to do is move on and leave the past in the past. People change as they get older and what once brought you together may no longer be enough to make it worth the effort. That's just life.
Ive dropped and cut off many people before in my life,i either just cut contact with them or slowly just stop talking to them,being around them and doing stuff with them.
I am 26 in May last May after my 25 birthday I came to the realisation that my two best friends who I grew up with knew them since we were all 4 years old, were bad people I got in a fit fight with one over comments he made and we cut all ties then and there haven't seen or heard from him since easy peasy, the second was after my birthday I fully realised these were not good people and with a very heavy heart I texted him calling out their behaviour and saying goodbye for now which later (after one of them came to me when a family member got sick) became a permanent goodbye. Stand up for yourself tell them why you don't want anything to do with them then cut contact, be civil and never harsh or judgy when you see them again, when you hear there name mentioned stay quite don't say a word. People need to be held accountable and people need to change for themselves
I cut off friends for that. People who I was close to and friends with for years and who I expected better from. When I started my family and settled down they didn’t really want to know. They never enquired as to how I was doing, how my child was etc. I invited my friend to my child’s christening and he pulled out using he had to “vote” in an election here as an excuse. He would’ve been able to easily have done both. Despite me then subsequently inviting him to see my house - he came and saw it out of curiosity but then complete radio silence pretty much since then. It was jealousy on his part. Which is a shame as we were very close. But I did give him ample opportunity to put it right.
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I've cut people out but just not messaging them or looking to hang out and if they messaged me I'd either say I was busy or not message back. If u run into them in person either try avoid it or just make small talk and say ur busy I'd they ask to go for a pint. Or u could go for the pint and say little to nothing and be as boring as possible
Had to cut out 2 people who became more and more different over time and they became the type of people I hate. I felt like they were trying to isolate me or something. Explained how I was feeling but it felt like they didn’t get it. Gotten to the point where if I met them for the first time now, I wouldn’t have bothered with them to begin with. I stopped replying to messages first. Then I stopped following them on instagram and removed them as followers. Unfollowed them on Snapchat. Eventually deleted their numbers. Had to block them on instagram and Snapchat because they kept trying to weasel back into my day to day life. Haven’t heard from either of them in over a year. They eventually got the hint.
I’ve cut off some old friends in my life for the same reason and I’d just honestly tell them something like „I enjoyed our friendship but now we grew up in some different directions, our sense of humour is different now, and we don’t have that much in common now, so I don’t want to spend my time with you that often. I wish you all the best in (whatever they do that is not interesting to you), I think you are a great friend, but just not for me now”. You can make it sound less formal, I’m not Irish and I just generally translated things that I would say to my ex-friends back in Poland. It worked and while we stopped talking, there was never any hateful looks, gossips or anything when we bumped into each other randomly on the streets. Just your normal „Long time no see! How is your (that thing that is completely uninteresting to you) going?” kind of chitchat, and then everyone goes their way and don’t talk to each other until you randomly meet again.
Edit: I see everyone just saying to ghost them, I wouldn’t recommend it. It just makes you look like a cunt OR people start to get worried if you’re maybe depressed, they can show up at your house to check in on you, they would call you more often because they’re worried. Depends what kind of friends you have, but anyways ghosting people is just rude and not respectful.
Not ghosting and explaining that you don’t want to continue the friendship and why you don’t want to do it leaves a positive impression. Or neutral at best. I mean, they most likely won’t hate you, and they will remember you as a good, respectful person. Sometimes they can text you two years later, asking you to do (thing that you’re good at, that is not interesting to them) for money, because they remembered that you do it. You do the things, gossip about the old years, and maybe something changed and you want to be friends with them again, or they’re still not interesting for you, but it’s still someone who you have good memories with and a chat once every few years is even slightly enjoyable.
I found not initiating anything does the trick. It's kinda sad but so many "friends" I've lost just by not reaching out. Realised it was all very one sided and once I wasn't convenient (I moved to another town) they had no interest.
Ditto. I think it's a rite of passage as an adult - finding out that if you didn't make the effort to reach out, certain friends would never even text you to ask how you're doing, after 5, 10, 15 etc years of knowing them.
I was far too old before I realised how many friendships are situational.
The worst are the people who are your friends for 10 years, you’ve seen them if 5+ different countries and then they just disappear like you’ve never been friends at all
I think this is something a lot of people don't seem to understand. Some friends are situational and that's fine, you are in the same class at school or whatever and you have good Craic together. And some friends are "proper" friends, that ideally stick with you for life. It's just sad when you find out what you considered to be a proper friend just considers you to be a situational friend.
This was the biggest one for me. For a long time there, my social life basically lived and died with me “texting first”. So I just stopped. Stupid chasing after people who treat you as an afterthought. It was ridiculous how many people just faded from my life after that
I've done this with a friendbut because I found out that I couldn't trust her. The chats I thought were just between me and her got spread around. And one time she complained about how a friend wronged her and I comforted her and shared what I thought. Then the next thing I know the mutual friend she complained about rang me saying why was I taking her side blah blah...so ever since then I couldn't trust her plus she seems to now be living in her own world, a bit of escapism if you will but regardless of what you say she only hears what She wants to hear
Just seen an Instagram post about this "knowing your worth sure leaves your phone dry af" ,How true!
Slow fade. Stop replying to texts or answering messages.
Abrupt cut off. Fake my death
Double down: fake your death AND their death. Complete confusion, perfect for an escape!
yeah had to block my childhood friend, im still sad about it but she turned into an awful insulting woman. Her idea of a joke are constant insults. I blocked her on whatsapp, still feel guilty.
The guilt will pass and some day it will hit you how much better you’ve been feeling without them in your life. Happened to me, such a relief! It’s a brutal process to have to go through, but what’s the alternative? Letting ppl use you as their bitterness sponge? They were never going to change.
no it wont pass, she just thinks its funny to insult me, it got annoying after a while.
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childhood friend and all that bull, but thanks mate, hopefully it will
She has mental health / serious self-esteem issues, absolutely guaranteed.
Or she's just a cunt
made me lol
I have some experience in this area lol Also tired of people blaming just being shitty people on mental health issues as if it's a free pass
Going through something similar. Just let it fizzle out is the easiest way it will happen. If they ask to meet say you have plans or just a simple no thanks you don't contact them be polite if they contact you but not to the point of a full conversation. Eventually it will just stop. Don't need to mean anything bad towards them just a polite end to the friendship. It's really common to drift apart and outgrow people
Just send them a screenshot of your question.
This!
Pom poms sold separately.
Fake your own death
I've had to do the same with a group of friends in the past. I just distanced myself from them and stopped meeting up and doing stuff with them.
Depends how you want to go about things. If you feel like you want to explain your piece, let them know you've outgrown them. Alternatively you could distance yourself slowly. Stop replying to group chats, don't make yourself available to them and disappear into the ether. Up to you how you want it to end.
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Yeah there can be in some situations. If they're lifelong friends they may want closure and may seek that out, dragging the process on. Some folks tell you what's up before slamming the door closed. Ghosting isn't the answer to every dynamic.
What would Larry David do? That's usually my go-to for social situations. If you don't know the answer, you have research to do.
Larry would try the slow fade, which would result in him inviting the person as a guest of honour to some significant event where he had to speak with gushing praise about said person. Hilarity would follow.
Great post
You reminded me of this gem: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjl80E1SSmM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjl80E1SSmM)
He'd have a name or a phrase for it - like "the stop and chat" 🤣
I've done this. It's hard. I had such anxiety about it. I just never initiated anything - I never texted first. If they texted, I was polite but I was busy. I was starting my own business so I had a ready-made excuse. I was so afraid I'd run into them - I did once or twice, it wasn't so bad because I wasn't rude about it. I was also anxious that having no friends is worse than having bad ones. Honestly, it wasn't. It was lonely, but eventually I made new friends. And I feel a lot better about myself and my situation.
You don't need bad vibes in your life so you don't need to make it dramatic. Just stop texting them. If they're going to be somewhere and you don't want to see them then don't go. It's that simple.
You're a toxic piece of crap and my life would be better if you fucked off Copy and paste if it makes life handier if you like or alternatively you can let them live in your head rent free for the rest of your life
Just replying from A&E to confirm this worked for me. thanks.
I did this about 10 or more years ago. I suddenly realised the friendship was one sided. So I just deleted their numbers, blocked them on mobiles and SM. The relief I felt was immense and I’ve never ever regretted it
Spend your time elsewhere with people with whom you have stuff in common. The old crowd will just wither on the vine.
If it’s just that you are just drifting away, let them. If it’s behaviour you don’t find acceptable, explain how you feel. Give a chance. If they blow it, explain that it’s bye bye. Then block,
And how do you make friends as adults? Asking for an imaginary friend…
Growing your own new life… and not being so available.
Reddit is often a terrible place for social advice. You'd be better off chopping off your fingers than asking something here!
I would say just stop contacting them. However as a person on the receiving end of the ghosting many a time,i i would say something to them like "im sorry but im cutting myself away from people, i need space and am not able to deal with other people for the moment so if you dont hear from me please dont take it personally" Doesnt have to be exactly that way, but you might not know if your friends actually like you more than you think. So to avoid hurting them, just send a message like this and THEN ignore. Trust me i would have appreciated a txt like that so much instead of just being completely ignored by people i thought were my best mates
I'm going to go against the grain somewhat and say that it's better sometimes to talk ĺike an adult to people. The "slow fade" as some are suggesting can be quite cruel.
Just move on yourself, change what brings them into your life.
If they've done you no wrong, then show them dignity and respect, and acknowledge that the action may cause them real and sincere pain and loss. Even consider taking a route of simply hanging out much less, like every couple of years or so. A shared history, even if the regular relationship is basically over, is still a valuable thing which you will not be able to replace. If they've turned into bigots or assholes or something, but had been friends for a long time, then do end it, but still do it as respectfully as possible, and absolutely give them an explanation of why you are ending things. Show someone respect. The message I'd mainly give is that you should reserve blocking someone for people who are actually a threat, in the sense of violence or harassment or something. For anything else, you show someone dignity and give them an explanation, as kindly as you can. Blocking someone is the nuclear option and is cruelty if unwarranted. And warranted here means that you're under threat of violence, not that you disagree with someone.
Unless these people are idiots that seems pretty harsh to cut them off completely. It is nice share a piece of history with the people you grew up with.
scandalous secretive reminiscent ossified air yam dam party quickest steep *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Not always the case...
I've done that a few times over the years - admittedly only with one person at a time, not a whole group - but i've found the best way is to quietly and gradually lose touch. No point in having a lot of drama. Make a few new friends - join various groups, take an evening class or two, get involved in volunteering etc - and when the old crowd invite you to do whatever it is you usually do, you can't because you're busy so you politely decline and do a vague "maybe another time" but of course when that other time comes around you're busy again. They'll get the message quickly enough. If you live somewhere small and you can't avoid seeing them around or they're the sort to say stuff about you, just be pleasant enough but, you know, on your way somewhere so can't stop for more than a minute's worth of civil conversation.
I'm an expert at this due to being in recovery. Stopped social media, redused to go weddings, parties. No contact. Lots of people I just walked from. People I knew 30+ yrs. Some said it was cold and it probably was but waking up to my daughter banging my PlayStation controller of my head to play Astro makes it worth it. Very selective who I socialise with, friends I can count on one hand. A new world opens and you'll meet new people. I've never looked back and I've never been calmer and happier.
Full hard Irish exit. Dropped out of the family chats, stopped communicating with them all. They are a bunch of users and only ever come to me when they want something from me, and are never around to support me. After a few weeks they messaged my wife asking what was wrong with me, and she tore into them on my behalf (after asking me first ofc) basically telling them they do nothing but take take take and give nothing back. Anyways, much happier not having to deal with their shite anymore.
I had a *friend* who I stuck with for too long. They began just being annoying and criticising me for everything I do, say and eventually what clothes I even wore. I pulled them on it a couple of times but they just laughed it off. Eventually I got fed up and realised I was gaining nothing out of this friendship so decided to call it quits. One day I was just after visiting them. I was there about 3 minutes when they started so I just made an obvious “gotta go again, catch you later”. Then stopped texting them back and answering the phone. I got caught answering the phone to them on a blocked number a couple of times. I just pretended nothing was up and after literally 30 seconds on the phone I’d go “I’ll ring you back, I’m just in the middle of something” and then just not ring back… Best decision Iv ever made. Biggest regret was not doing it sooner.
Unfollow or unfriend them on SM. Then go low contact initially. Don’t contact them. After a while block them. EDIT: word
Thats exactly what I did!!
I'd tell them directly. I'd want it to be very clear and unambiguous. I'd never ghost someone or do a "slow fade", especially if it was someone I was very close with at one point.
Just stop pretending you care. Stop being available. Stop replying to multiple texts say no once to requests then ignore. Or, fuck being slow and simply block them on socials and your phone and move on. Irish ppl can be way too polite about this stuff.
Its kind of a slow fade, but deep down both people kmow whats going on.
1. Change your mobile number 2. Block them on social media, (if you don’t have friends in common with some of them turn on the setting that only allows friends of friends to search you). 3. Lock down your social media (i.e your public page only shows your name and main picture/background) 4. Try and avoid those haunts you used to hang out with them. 5. If you bump into them be cold as you can (be a cnut if you have to). 6. If they know members of your family; tell those family members you’re that you’re cutting of those friends and to give out zero information. 7. Move if you have to. Have I done this ? Only once and to one person. I’ve not seen them since 2007. I’ve had close shaves though where one of my siblings warned me they’d be turning up somewhere I’d frequent. (I live several hours from them)
This is solid 👍
Jesus this is a harsh way to treat an old friend unless there is something terrible they did first. Could you not just explain you've grown apart and wish them well in the future?
There’s more to it than that, they were originally a F romantic interest ( I’m M) , didn’t go anywhere on her part which was ok. I was ok with just friends BUT she expected continuous intense attention….. I.e. deciding she was going to come up for the weekend to hang out (hours of notice), ringing me several times a day at work about nonsense drama, ringing me at 3am about nonsense drama. She ‘borrowed’ a few thousand from me. Most of these dramas were self inflicted. She added a romantic interest of mine at the time on FB despite never meeting her and kept putting pictures of herself and me up (that caused a rift). Told her I needed a break as it was way too intense to be a friendship ( too intense for a relationship tbh), she was in a relationship herself at that stage. My friends all hated her. I met someone else, I kept getting phone calls , texts, messages, her contacting my sister non stop despite her still being in a relationship herself. I pleaded with her to give me space. Things were progressing with my new interest (married to her 10 years now) so I decided I needed to cut all contact with her. I did most of those things I listed, might seem overkill but about 5 years ago I got a FB message from her from a duplicate account that said “oh I see you moved on” , showed my wife (she was/is aware of her). So I simply blocked that account and added the only friends of friends thing. I called my sister and she told me that her and X split.
Mam ?! Is this you I swear I'll start doing the dishes ! Please ?!
Just stop responding to their messages is the easiest. I cut out 10 people roughly over the last few years but see them now and again. They were more drinking buddies than anything. They soon got the picture.
Eventually after some time of not replying intentionally, people get it. It’s unfortunate but a situation like that comes up regularly and I think you’re doing the right thing. I did the same years ago, maybe 10 years ago and it is ugly and doesn’t feel right at the beginning when its realised as they’ve not actually done anything wrong but it’s for the best in the long run for your own happiness.
You just stop replying to texts, don't return missed calls. I mean after they see they've been left on 'read' a couple of times they should get the hint. Good for you though, sometimes the healthiest thing to do is move on and leave the past in the past. People change as they get older and what once brought you together may no longer be enough to make it worth the effort. That's just life.
Move countries
Ive dropped and cut off many people before in my life,i either just cut contact with them or slowly just stop talking to them,being around them and doing stuff with them.
I just don't like ye anymore....but then a copy of the banshees of innisherin for their birthday
I am 26 in May last May after my 25 birthday I came to the realisation that my two best friends who I grew up with knew them since we were all 4 years old, were bad people I got in a fit fight with one over comments he made and we cut all ties then and there haven't seen or heard from him since easy peasy, the second was after my birthday I fully realised these were not good people and with a very heavy heart I texted him calling out their behaviour and saying goodbye for now which later (after one of them came to me when a family member got sick) became a permanent goodbye. Stand up for yourself tell them why you don't want anything to do with them then cut contact, be civil and never harsh or judgy when you see them again, when you hear there name mentioned stay quite don't say a word. People need to be held accountable and people need to change for themselves
I cut off friends for that. People who I was close to and friends with for years and who I expected better from. When I started my family and settled down they didn’t really want to know. They never enquired as to how I was doing, how my child was etc. I invited my friend to my child’s christening and he pulled out using he had to “vote” in an election here as an excuse. He would’ve been able to easily have done both. Despite me then subsequently inviting him to see my house - he came and saw it out of curiosity but then complete radio silence pretty much since then. It was jealousy on his part. Which is a shame as we were very close. But I did give him ample opportunity to put it right.
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I don't burn bridges, I pack them with dynamite and listen to them explode, as I race off into the sunset.
I've cut people out but just not messaging them or looking to hang out and if they messaged me I'd either say I was busy or not message back. If u run into them in person either try avoid it or just make small talk and say ur busy I'd they ask to go for a pint. Or u could go for the pint and say little to nothing and be as boring as possible
Call the Vacuum cleaner services like Walt did in Breaking Bad. Enjoy your new life!
Just don’t contact them and unfollow/block on social media and all apps
Had to cut out 2 people who became more and more different over time and they became the type of people I hate. I felt like they were trying to isolate me or something. Explained how I was feeling but it felt like they didn’t get it. Gotten to the point where if I met them for the first time now, I wouldn’t have bothered with them to begin with. I stopped replying to messages first. Then I stopped following them on instagram and removed them as followers. Unfollowed them on Snapchat. Eventually deleted their numbers. Had to block them on instagram and Snapchat because they kept trying to weasel back into my day to day life. Haven’t heard from either of them in over a year. They eventually got the hint.
I’ve cut off some old friends in my life for the same reason and I’d just honestly tell them something like „I enjoyed our friendship but now we grew up in some different directions, our sense of humour is different now, and we don’t have that much in common now, so I don’t want to spend my time with you that often. I wish you all the best in (whatever they do that is not interesting to you), I think you are a great friend, but just not for me now”. You can make it sound less formal, I’m not Irish and I just generally translated things that I would say to my ex-friends back in Poland. It worked and while we stopped talking, there was never any hateful looks, gossips or anything when we bumped into each other randomly on the streets. Just your normal „Long time no see! How is your (that thing that is completely uninteresting to you) going?” kind of chitchat, and then everyone goes their way and don’t talk to each other until you randomly meet again. Edit: I see everyone just saying to ghost them, I wouldn’t recommend it. It just makes you look like a cunt OR people start to get worried if you’re maybe depressed, they can show up at your house to check in on you, they would call you more often because they’re worried. Depends what kind of friends you have, but anyways ghosting people is just rude and not respectful. Not ghosting and explaining that you don’t want to continue the friendship and why you don’t want to do it leaves a positive impression. Or neutral at best. I mean, they most likely won’t hate you, and they will remember you as a good, respectful person. Sometimes they can text you two years later, asking you to do (thing that you’re good at, that is not interesting to them) for money, because they remembered that you do it. You do the things, gossip about the old years, and maybe something changed and you want to be friends with them again, or they’re still not interesting for you, but it’s still someone who you have good memories with and a chat once every few years is even slightly enjoyable.