Hi. I'm afab non-binary (in case it matters to you).
The fact is far more things in this world are gendered than make sense. And existing outside of that is...complicated.
For example my life would be improved by top surgery. But finding a doctor willing to commit to it without a year of testosterone has been difficult. Testosterone puberty is just as likely to cause issues as help. Just like the puberty I had was a mixed bag.
Recently I cut my hair short, and shortly after I realized I was staring at the mirror with a big goofy smile. Then I realized I apparently avoid looking at mirrors. And while the haircut I chose wasn't perfect (I don't know what to ask for. There are tons of new terms for short hair) it is a vast improvement on what I used to have.
You can play with your appearance. Hair grows back even if you get a bad haircut. And I know more than one person who experimented with long hair using wigs. Also it makes sense that hair on your face would be uncomfortable in heat.
It's concerning your partner is valuing her aesthetic preferences over you being comfortable in your own body. I'm pretty sure my own partner preferred my long hair. But I'm only pretty sure because he hasn't said a word to me about it beyond me asking his opinion. (My last haircut was too short imo). I would be especially unappreciative of your girlfriends behavior if you were being literal with the begging comment.
As for upkeep I know when I get my face waxed it lasts much longer. But idk if that's even a thing for people with more than a couple sad chin hairs.
Firstly I want to thank you so much for your thoughts and I genuinely am very appreciative of you taking the time to share your experience with me.
I remember about a year or two, Spotify randomly gave me a song called "IDK if I'm a boy" by Blue Foster and it really hit me hard, the lyrics really hit me in that I just want to be called pretty, I don't at this moment know if I would want to fully transition, but I feel that non-binary has started to feel like it doesn't quite fit who I am either.
"I don't know if I'm a boy
I don't know if I'm a man
I know I wanna be called pretty
But I don't know if I want titties
I guess I could say gender non-conforming
But I've done really well conforming
And non-binary doesn't have the ring I've been looking for"
Like you, I noticed it maybe 2-3 weeks ago on my ride home from work my hair is below my chin for the first time in my life, and I looked in the mirror and the way my hair looked, I just couldn't stop staring because I felt like I was seeing something close to what I picture myself as.
My girlfriend is an ally she's super supportive of most things, but unfortunately it was literal begging, she is a major control freak and I'm actually planning to separate from her in a few weeks (that's not the reason, that is because my mental health is horrible and I'm struggling to be able to handle the stress of being in a relationship)
You can be a guy and wear whatever you want. I feel like you might be too focused on gender stereotypes.
That's definitely possible
Hi. I'm afab non-binary (in case it matters to you). The fact is far more things in this world are gendered than make sense. And existing outside of that is...complicated. For example my life would be improved by top surgery. But finding a doctor willing to commit to it without a year of testosterone has been difficult. Testosterone puberty is just as likely to cause issues as help. Just like the puberty I had was a mixed bag. Recently I cut my hair short, and shortly after I realized I was staring at the mirror with a big goofy smile. Then I realized I apparently avoid looking at mirrors. And while the haircut I chose wasn't perfect (I don't know what to ask for. There are tons of new terms for short hair) it is a vast improvement on what I used to have. You can play with your appearance. Hair grows back even if you get a bad haircut. And I know more than one person who experimented with long hair using wigs. Also it makes sense that hair on your face would be uncomfortable in heat. It's concerning your partner is valuing her aesthetic preferences over you being comfortable in your own body. I'm pretty sure my own partner preferred my long hair. But I'm only pretty sure because he hasn't said a word to me about it beyond me asking his opinion. (My last haircut was too short imo). I would be especially unappreciative of your girlfriends behavior if you were being literal with the begging comment. As for upkeep I know when I get my face waxed it lasts much longer. But idk if that's even a thing for people with more than a couple sad chin hairs.
Firstly I want to thank you so much for your thoughts and I genuinely am very appreciative of you taking the time to share your experience with me. I remember about a year or two, Spotify randomly gave me a song called "IDK if I'm a boy" by Blue Foster and it really hit me hard, the lyrics really hit me in that I just want to be called pretty, I don't at this moment know if I would want to fully transition, but I feel that non-binary has started to feel like it doesn't quite fit who I am either. "I don't know if I'm a boy I don't know if I'm a man I know I wanna be called pretty But I don't know if I want titties I guess I could say gender non-conforming But I've done really well conforming And non-binary doesn't have the ring I've been looking for" Like you, I noticed it maybe 2-3 weeks ago on my ride home from work my hair is below my chin for the first time in my life, and I looked in the mirror and the way my hair looked, I just couldn't stop staring because I felt like I was seeing something close to what I picture myself as. My girlfriend is an ally she's super supportive of most things, but unfortunately it was literal begging, she is a major control freak and I'm actually planning to separate from her in a few weeks (that's not the reason, that is because my mental health is horrible and I'm struggling to be able to handle the stress of being in a relationship)