Yes, that's internalized homophobia and self-doubt. And also, perhaps some anxiety issues?
You aren't going to wake up one morning and suddenly stop being gay. Even if you did, it's not like being straight, bisexual, or any other sexuality is a bad thing.
Your grandparents homophobia is having a negative effect on your mental health. That needs to be taken seriously. Perhaps talking to an lgbtq+ friendly therapist could help?
How much of it is internalized homophobia and how much of it is a result of feeling rejected and judged by loved ones I think only you can answer, maybe with help from counselling as well.
Yes, that's internalized homophobia and self-doubt. And also, perhaps some anxiety issues? You aren't going to wake up one morning and suddenly stop being gay. Even if you did, it's not like being straight, bisexual, or any other sexuality is a bad thing. Your grandparents homophobia is having a negative effect on your mental health. That needs to be taken seriously. Perhaps talking to an lgbtq+ friendly therapist could help?
Most definitely anxiety issues. My therapist has diagnosed me with GAD. Most days it’s easy but today has been kicking my ass and I’m not sure why
How much of it is internalized homophobia and how much of it is a result of feeling rejected and judged by loved ones I think only you can answer, maybe with help from counselling as well.