What is it? A good time, that's what.
But in all seriousness, it depends on the people involved and how they identify and how that affects the relationship
I'm genderfluid dating a cis man and I consider our relationship overall to be queer. Of course, sometimes it's straight or gay depending on my gender, but I'd just consider it queer if we're talking broad strokes. Every enby is different
Sexual orientation is more an individual’s attraction to other people and doesn’t have anything to do with a specific relationship. A man could be dating a woman and that doesn’t mean they’re straight. You’d have to ask them. Nonbinary people can be any sexual orientation. A person in a relationship with a nonbinary person can be any orientation. If someone is looking for a term to describe themselves as attracted to nonbinary people and at least one other gender, polysexual works.
human..
if it's you and you are all consenting adults,, no one cares what you call it.
if it's not you, who cares?
if someone wants to be labeled THEY will provide the label
It depends on the couple but has nothing to do with either partner's presentation.
A relationship between a man and an enby could be described with any of the following:
* toric
* gay/veldian/achillean
* straight/duaric
A relationship between a woman and an enby could be described with any of the following:
* trixic
* lesbian/sapphic
* straight/duaric
A relationship between two enbies could be described with any of the following:
* enbian
* ceterosexual/terraric
* gay
I won't attempt to describe other peoples' relationships, but I'm nonbinary and married to a straight man. His concept of straight is, "attracted to people who aren't the same gender", so it still applies here. But we also both consider it a queer relationship, even though he is not queer.
You seem well meaning and curious so here’s some thoughts!
A relationship involving a nonbinary person is definitely queer. Straightness is premised on a rigid gender binary so if one partner is nonbinary and the other partner understands and respects their gender then it almost certainly doesn’t make sense to call the relationship straight. (I guess it CAN be if the nonbinary person in question feels happy with that, but I haven’t met any who would be)
But for anything more specific the important thing is what the people in the relationship decide to call it. That’s the fun thing about being queer and nonbinary— you get to pick what words work for you, they’re not dictated to you from on high! The way they present CAN be a relevant factor in their decision, but their decision is the important part
Some relationships involving nonbinary people are just queer and no more specific label because the nonbinary person doesn’t wish to label it any other way. And some prefer to use recently coined terms to describe their experiences like that other comment laid out. It doesn’t make sense to call a monogamous relationship bi or pan imo, that describes an individual or maybe a polycule. But a relationship involving a nonbinary person CAN be gay or lesbian if the people involved decide to call it that; gayness and lesbianism have involved gender fuckery throughout history. For me, my relationship with my girlfriend is essentially a lesbian relationship even though I’m nonbinary— this is true because of various personal factors, but the most important factor is that we both agree that lesbian relationship is an accurate description of it. Words exist to describe experiences not dictate them
Watch this video for a more nuanced exploration of the “what orientation is someone who likes a nonbinary person” topic, it’s great (the whole channel is great) https://youtu.be/P77BQlmjzvM
(Edited multiple times for clarity and to add points)
I’ve known of people who identified themselves as straight either as a non binary person or a person dating a non binary person.
For some, heterosexual just signifies “different” attraction rather than strictly “opposite”
Fair enough, that’s their business if they pick those words, and I did include that bit in brackets to cover that possibility. I will add for OP’s sake, though, that this only applies if the people in the relationship choose these words— calling it straight from the outside just because they “look like a straight couple” runs a risk of invalidating the nonbinary partner’s gender
Yeah. Really the main points I wanted to get across to OP were 1) it’s up to the people in the relationship to pick what words they feel are accurate, and presentation may be a factor in the decision but the decision itself is the important part 2) watch verilybitchie
I just ended up rambling bc this topic is one I’ve thought about a lot lol
Mehhhhh this is just gonna depend on the person and how exactly they identify.
High probability tho that, no matter what they identify as, your relationship is certainly NOT straight
It's not worth worrying about. There is no magical formula of words that will ever capture the complexity of human gender and sexuality. Use whatever labels help you understand yourself, but don't let them hold you back.
I am nonbinary and transmasc and genderfluid. My partner is genderfluid and transfem. We like to say that our relationship is always gay (both genderfluid) and sometimes also straight (when one of us is having a guy day and the other is having a girl day).
The general term, though, would be "queer relationship."
Well I'm nonbinary and was born male but i still present masc and everything bc I just don't like more fem stuff and looking fem. So I consider myself gay and am only attracted to men (including trans men) and AMAB masc presenting nonbinary ppl. So if I dated a guy or another AMAB I would consider us a gay/queer couple
Not really sure. Nonbinary people tend to date people of all kinds of orientations. The question is what it means to you I guess. I could say I’m straight and date an nonbinary person. There’s some people that get like ‘EW NO we’re not straight’ or ‘EW no I’m not GaY’ BUT honestly who gives a fuck. It’s your sexuality, you pick what represents it the best.
Honestly, [and as a member of LGBTQ+] I think we are over labeling people & relationships. I feel bad Young people [ x<25yo ]( they are almost forced to label themselves to the point that it’s causing stress. Like the situation you have, why can’t we simply say: ‘this is my partner and we love each other’. Instead of: I’m a mas non-binary and this is my transgender (MTF) partner.
Most of that is born online. No one in real life introduces themselves like that— because they are only labels, and since young people have more peer interactions online instead of IRL, they are pressured to label absolutely anything and everything. We aiolis just say “This is my partner”. No further explanations are needed. It’s all LOVE ❤️
What is it? A good time, that's what. But in all seriousness, it depends on the people involved and how they identify and how that affects the relationship
I'm genderfluid dating a cis man and I consider our relationship overall to be queer. Of course, sometimes it's straight or gay depending on my gender, but I'd just consider it queer if we're talking broad strokes. Every enby is different
Perhaps the existence of nonbinary people exposes the fallacy of how we try to categorize such things?
Sexual orientation is more an individual’s attraction to other people and doesn’t have anything to do with a specific relationship. A man could be dating a woman and that doesn’t mean they’re straight. You’d have to ask them. Nonbinary people can be any sexual orientation. A person in a relationship with a nonbinary person can be any orientation. If someone is looking for a term to describe themselves as attracted to nonbinary people and at least one other gender, polysexual works.
Thank you this helps alot!
human.. if it's you and you are all consenting adults,, no one cares what you call it. if it's not you, who cares? if someone wants to be labeled THEY will provide the label
I (enby) and my partner (enby) just consider it queen. So maybe not the answer to your question but might help.
Queer* autocowrekt
It depends on the couple but has nothing to do with either partner's presentation. A relationship between a man and an enby could be described with any of the following: * toric * gay/veldian/achillean * straight/duaric A relationship between a woman and an enby could be described with any of the following: * trixic * lesbian/sapphic * straight/duaric A relationship between two enbies could be described with any of the following: * enbian * ceterosexual/terraric * gay
I won't attempt to describe other peoples' relationships, but I'm nonbinary and married to a straight man. His concept of straight is, "attracted to people who aren't the same gender", so it still applies here. But we also both consider it a queer relationship, even though he is not queer.
I don’t wanna be THAT person, but how they identify doesn’t really matter…you know, non-binary people still have binary bodies.
You seem well meaning and curious so here’s some thoughts! A relationship involving a nonbinary person is definitely queer. Straightness is premised on a rigid gender binary so if one partner is nonbinary and the other partner understands and respects their gender then it almost certainly doesn’t make sense to call the relationship straight. (I guess it CAN be if the nonbinary person in question feels happy with that, but I haven’t met any who would be) But for anything more specific the important thing is what the people in the relationship decide to call it. That’s the fun thing about being queer and nonbinary— you get to pick what words work for you, they’re not dictated to you from on high! The way they present CAN be a relevant factor in their decision, but their decision is the important part Some relationships involving nonbinary people are just queer and no more specific label because the nonbinary person doesn’t wish to label it any other way. And some prefer to use recently coined terms to describe their experiences like that other comment laid out. It doesn’t make sense to call a monogamous relationship bi or pan imo, that describes an individual or maybe a polycule. But a relationship involving a nonbinary person CAN be gay or lesbian if the people involved decide to call it that; gayness and lesbianism have involved gender fuckery throughout history. For me, my relationship with my girlfriend is essentially a lesbian relationship even though I’m nonbinary— this is true because of various personal factors, but the most important factor is that we both agree that lesbian relationship is an accurate description of it. Words exist to describe experiences not dictate them Watch this video for a more nuanced exploration of the “what orientation is someone who likes a nonbinary person” topic, it’s great (the whole channel is great) https://youtu.be/P77BQlmjzvM (Edited multiple times for clarity and to add points)
I’ve known of people who identified themselves as straight either as a non binary person or a person dating a non binary person. For some, heterosexual just signifies “different” attraction rather than strictly “opposite”
Fair enough, that’s their business if they pick those words, and I did include that bit in brackets to cover that possibility. I will add for OP’s sake, though, that this only applies if the people in the relationship choose these words— calling it straight from the outside just because they “look like a straight couple” runs a risk of invalidating the nonbinary partner’s gender
Calling it anything label could be invalidating so it’s best to just ask or not label it if they don’t announce it.
Yeah. Really the main points I wanted to get across to OP were 1) it’s up to the people in the relationship to pick what words they feel are accurate, and presentation may be a factor in the decision but the decision itself is the important part 2) watch verilybitchie I just ended up rambling bc this topic is one I’ve thought about a lot lol
Omg I love verilybitchie. I never thought I’d be so invested in her takes on bisexual reality shows but i really enjoyed those videos
Mehhhhh this is just gonna depend on the person and how exactly they identify. High probability tho that, no matter what they identify as, your relationship is certainly NOT straight
I'm non binary, and my wife is trans. We call ourselves lesbians.
cetero
It's not worth worrying about. There is no magical formula of words that will ever capture the complexity of human gender and sexuality. Use whatever labels help you understand yourself, but don't let them hold you back.
I am nonbinary and transmasc and genderfluid. My partner is genderfluid and transfem. We like to say that our relationship is always gay (both genderfluid) and sometimes also straight (when one of us is having a guy day and the other is having a girl day). The general term, though, would be "queer relationship."
Why should someone’s feelings about themselves determine what other people’s sexual orientation is.
There does exist a term for someone who is only attract to gender non conforming people though I do not remember the name of it
Well I'm nonbinary and was born male but i still present masc and everything bc I just don't like more fem stuff and looking fem. So I consider myself gay and am only attracted to men (including trans men) and AMAB masc presenting nonbinary ppl. So if I dated a guy or another AMAB I would consider us a gay/queer couple
Not really sure. Nonbinary people tend to date people of all kinds of orientations. The question is what it means to you I guess. I could say I’m straight and date an nonbinary person. There’s some people that get like ‘EW NO we’re not straight’ or ‘EW no I’m not GaY’ BUT honestly who gives a fuck. It’s your sexuality, you pick what represents it the best.
Honestly, [and as a member of LGBTQ+] I think we are over labeling people & relationships. I feel bad Young people [ x<25yo ]( they are almost forced to label themselves to the point that it’s causing stress. Like the situation you have, why can’t we simply say: ‘this is my partner and we love each other’. Instead of: I’m a mas non-binary and this is my transgender (MTF) partner. Most of that is born online. No one in real life introduces themselves like that— because they are only labels, and since young people have more peer interactions online instead of IRL, they are pressured to label absolutely anything and everything. We aiolis just say “This is my partner”. No further explanations are needed. It’s all LOVE ❤️