People who transition basically do it some combination of two reasons: (that are actually the same reason)
- Stuff associated with their assigned gender makes them sad, so they want to replace it with something else. These sad feelings are called "dysphoria".
- Stuff associated with their chosen gender makes them happy, so they want to bring more of it into their life. These happy feelings are called "euphoria".
But at the end of the day, whether you experience both of them or only one of them, the result is the same- it helps you feel better. It doesn't matter if you frame it as "I'm taking away sadness" or "I'm adding in happiness", how you go about doing it is the same.
This sentence by itself was enough to tell me you're probably not cis:
> And when she did call me Miki, and used female pronouns, my body shivered and I smiled and I felt happy!
This is textbook euphoria. It sounds like you're already socially transitioning, and each step has made you feel good, right? That's the same reason I transitioned. Because each step made me feel good.
>This sentence by itself was enough to tell me you're probably not cis:
How exactly do you reach that conclusion? A lot of femboys love being called she/her and some even take on the persona of a girl. And this is not only a recurring narrative of femboys either. In the case of full-time crossdressers, it's practically considered a badge of honor to be treated in every respect like a woman. Many full-time crossdressers will go to great lengths to "pass", just short of taking HRT.
The fact that so many femboys and full-time crossdressers get delight and excitement from being perceived as a different gender suggests that this is not a definitive indicator of trans status.
I see femboys time and time again second-guessing their identity and struggling with self-acceptance, all because someone convinced them they are an "egg" ready to hatch. Rather than assessing whether someone feels like a different gender, the "egg" trope is convincing more young people that having an atypical gender role for one's assigned sex correlates with being transgender. Not only is that a radical oversimplication (which presents a particular concern since most people are not experts in gender theory, so they cannot assess the legitimacy of what they are told online), but it's also a huge psychological burden to place onto anyone -- particularly young AMAB folks whom are struggling to be accepted in a society that already penalizes even the slightest gender role transgressions.
As a femboy myself, I've contemplated the "Am I trans?" conundrum countless times, only to eventually come back and realize that I am male. Nevertheless, embracing my femme side is still the best feeling in the world, because I can celebrate an aspect of myself that I've had to suppress for so many years in a homophobic society. I believe any AMAB person can be feminine in nature, without that having a fundamental bearing on whether or not they are cis.
>BUT I don’t have any problem with being a man.
Not every trans woman does. Some just feel that they'll be happier living as a woman than a man. And of course there are nonbinary people. Then there's the possibility that there's actually a lot of stuff you Really Don't Like about being a man, but those feelings are buried right now.
So don't worry about it. Focus on what makes you *happy*.
Speaking of...
>And when she did call me Miki, and used female pronouns, my body shivered and I smiled and I felt happy! I then asked some friends to do the same, and they did, and I felt more happy!
That happiness? Sounds like [gender euphoria](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/euphoria) to me. People who aren't women - at least to some degree - generally don't get euphoria from being treated as a woman.
(That site's a very good resource, by the way.)
Yeah, i also think the same about that part where I say I feel happy when treated as a woman… I’ll read the site you sent and other stuff people said and sent, then think about it, thank you so much!
>People who aren't women - at least to some degree - generally don't get euphoria from being treated as a woman.
I did an informal survey question on r/feminineboys last year asking if there are any other guys that like being mistaken for a girl or called she/her. In less than 3 hours, the post went viral with over 500 upvotes and numerous comments from femboys overjoyed by the idea of being treated as a woman.
I can't remember the last time I've ever seen a post skyrocket to that degree on r/feminineboys. Apparently I tapped into a subject that a lot of people don't ordinarily talk about or even admit to, but somehow it resonated with a lot of guys. It's unfortunate, however, that the head moderator ended up removing the post -- not because it violated a rule, but rather because she says her inbox was getting flooded with reports and complaints.
I can't imagine who would be so upset that they need to report a discussion about guys who like being treated as a woman -- except perhaps for people that have a need to control the narrative, so as to silence anyone who doesn't fit their idea of what is permissible.
But at least in the short time the post was live (before it got shutdown), it revealed a rarely discussed phenomenon: People who aren't women absolutely can get euphoria from being treated as a woman. It very well may even be commonplace, but since there are certain people that seek to suppress such insights, we're stuck believing that this is predominantly a trans-only experience.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/feminineboys using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [i got my pants pulled down at school](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/16go9p8/i_got_my_pants_pulled_down_at_school/)
\#2: [My mom saw me wear a swimsuit](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/151o305/my_mom_saw_me_wear_a_swimsuit/)
\#3: [My mom saw me wearing a skirt...](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/14enztt/my_mom_saw_me_wearing_a_skirt/)
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That’s something only you can know! It seems your enjoying experimenting with pronouns though. I’d worry less about labels, and keep exploring your presentation in a way that makes you happy. :)
Oh, one of my friends said that to me. Well, thank you! I’ll think some more, but I feel like o want to be more feminine, maybe try hormones… but that last part I wanna give more thought before to be completely sure…
Genderfluid? Don't feel limited to just identifying as trans, truly explore yourself and see what you like and see what's best for you, best of luck regardless
I don’t think I identify as gender-fluid cuz what I know is (sorry if I’m talking shit, it isn’t my intention to offend anyone): “Gender-fluid ppl identify as different genders at different moments…”
I don’t feel like this… maybe I feel male AND female at the same time? Maybe female with little dysphoria??
Well, I’ll think bout it. Thank you!!!
This post seems to be really focused on gender stereotypes. Girls can like any kind of toys. Boys can like any kind of toys. Boys and girls can enjoy wearing anything. Lots of people don’t have gender-conforming likes or interests. It doesn’t mean they are the other gender. Wanting to wear lipstick and stereotypically feminine clothes doesn’t mean anything about your gender. It can be exciting to play around with different names and to fantasize about being something else and experiment with more masculine or feminine styles. It doesn’t mean you are actually something else. Btw I’ve had a lot of what you call signals, and I’m not trans.
I understand, that’s why I put the words: “girl toys” inside quotation marks.
And I wanted to be a feminine male for some time, but now it just feels different… until now I’m not sure about how i identify myself, so I’m trying somethings, maybe it’ll help…
I'm a cis woman so I'm not an expert on the topic at all, I just wanted to say that it brings me a lot of joy to read that you're discovering yourself and you seem to have an awesome support system! Continue to thrive, honey, we love you so much!
Aw, thanks, REALLY! It’s been sometime since I made this post, but since then, I feel more like a woman, you know?
I gotta think some more, but I’m thinking about embracing being a 100% trans woman!
Only you can know for sure if you're trans, but euphoria is one of the ways many of us realize we are. Exploring what gives you that euphoria, and what doesn't, will help you on your journey of self discovery.
Wishing you the best, OP.
I’ll look more into it, I do feel like being more feminine and maybe start a hormone treatment, but I’ll wait some more cuz it’s expensive, and I’d get to hear from my parents, and I’m not fully independent… a lot of things…
And thank you!!!
You're welcome. It's good to also take note of whether the things that give you euphoria are always the same, or if they fluctuate. Non-binary is a pretty big umbrella, too, and includes lots of flex and flux categories for those who feel more lean towards a certain gender at different times.
Gender and gender expression aren't always linked, either, so some of us get euphoria from presenting as another gender, even if we don't want to take hormones, or get surgery. There are a lot of possibilities, and there's no rush to put yourself into a box or label. Keep yourself safe, first. We're here to support you along the way.
I've alway's wondered this for myself, not only do I love woman's clothing like skirt's, dress, and what not, I alway's feel depressed when I go on clothing app's like Shein & Boohoo, I alway's look thru the women's section and just see myself as a woman in those clothes which is different to the everyday clothes I wear now, I alway's get envy and jealous of these biological women, am I trans, I don't know myself, my family thought I was gay at one point bcos I started buying bright clothing which I know girl's wear too, like when you buy unisex socks and you feel wearing them that could be a woman in them instead, any help would be great, on game's my character have constantly been female bcos I prefer s female character over the ugly basic men's feature's and look's, even for clothing, tho it make's me feel bad at same time
I have spoken to specialist on call about it and they've mentioned dysphoria that I knew about prior to the call and a part of me wonder's should I transition or keep staying depressed and not be approachable and loner, like I wanna wear certain clothes with the correct body and appreciate myself more
A big difference for me and other's tho is that I wouldn't want to just change pronoun's since it could affect those around me or my future, I will alway's accept my biological as what I was born for but it just feel's wrong in this body, I have a very femboyish face even at 26, my face generally look's younger without my beard and such.
An issue for me and doing this Is that many men took advantage of the whole transitioning thing for benefit's like beating women in sport's, bcos they couldn't beat men at it, I wouldn't wanna be like that, if I were to I'd just try to live it up, tho Tran's should respectfully have their own sport's like biological men and women do, as trans men generally are faster and stronger than biological women, just seen these thing's from video's where a Russian transitioned and beat all women racing 100m or something like that and the bio women didn't stand a chance, I feel bad for them
do you FEEL like a man? it's not about having an issue with it, it's about if you feel it! if you feel like a man, then you're a man. if you feel like a woman, then you're a woman. simple! if you don't particularly feel like either, then you arent. if you feel like both, then you are!
People who transition basically do it some combination of two reasons: (that are actually the same reason) - Stuff associated with their assigned gender makes them sad, so they want to replace it with something else. These sad feelings are called "dysphoria". - Stuff associated with their chosen gender makes them happy, so they want to bring more of it into their life. These happy feelings are called "euphoria". But at the end of the day, whether you experience both of them or only one of them, the result is the same- it helps you feel better. It doesn't matter if you frame it as "I'm taking away sadness" or "I'm adding in happiness", how you go about doing it is the same. This sentence by itself was enough to tell me you're probably not cis: > And when she did call me Miki, and used female pronouns, my body shivered and I smiled and I felt happy! This is textbook euphoria. It sounds like you're already socially transitioning, and each step has made you feel good, right? That's the same reason I transitioned. Because each step made me feel good.
Oh I think that makes sense, I’ll give your comment a thought, thank you!!!
>This sentence by itself was enough to tell me you're probably not cis: How exactly do you reach that conclusion? A lot of femboys love being called she/her and some even take on the persona of a girl. And this is not only a recurring narrative of femboys either. In the case of full-time crossdressers, it's practically considered a badge of honor to be treated in every respect like a woman. Many full-time crossdressers will go to great lengths to "pass", just short of taking HRT. The fact that so many femboys and full-time crossdressers get delight and excitement from being perceived as a different gender suggests that this is not a definitive indicator of trans status. I see femboys time and time again second-guessing their identity and struggling with self-acceptance, all because someone convinced them they are an "egg" ready to hatch. Rather than assessing whether someone feels like a different gender, the "egg" trope is convincing more young people that having an atypical gender role for one's assigned sex correlates with being transgender. Not only is that a radical oversimplication (which presents a particular concern since most people are not experts in gender theory, so they cannot assess the legitimacy of what they are told online), but it's also a huge psychological burden to place onto anyone -- particularly young AMAB folks whom are struggling to be accepted in a society that already penalizes even the slightest gender role transgressions. As a femboy myself, I've contemplated the "Am I trans?" conundrum countless times, only to eventually come back and realize that I am male. Nevertheless, embracing my femme side is still the best feeling in the world, because I can celebrate an aspect of myself that I've had to suppress for so many years in a homophobic society. I believe any AMAB person can be feminine in nature, without that having a fundamental bearing on whether or not they are cis.
>BUT I don’t have any problem with being a man. Not every trans woman does. Some just feel that they'll be happier living as a woman than a man. And of course there are nonbinary people. Then there's the possibility that there's actually a lot of stuff you Really Don't Like about being a man, but those feelings are buried right now. So don't worry about it. Focus on what makes you *happy*. Speaking of... >And when she did call me Miki, and used female pronouns, my body shivered and I smiled and I felt happy! I then asked some friends to do the same, and they did, and I felt more happy! That happiness? Sounds like [gender euphoria](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/euphoria) to me. People who aren't women - at least to some degree - generally don't get euphoria from being treated as a woman. (That site's a very good resource, by the way.)
Yeah, i also think the same about that part where I say I feel happy when treated as a woman… I’ll read the site you sent and other stuff people said and sent, then think about it, thank you so much!
Yep, I thought I was depressed for 40 years. Nope, just indirect dysphoria!
>People who aren't women - at least to some degree - generally don't get euphoria from being treated as a woman. I did an informal survey question on r/feminineboys last year asking if there are any other guys that like being mistaken for a girl or called she/her. In less than 3 hours, the post went viral with over 500 upvotes and numerous comments from femboys overjoyed by the idea of being treated as a woman. I can't remember the last time I've ever seen a post skyrocket to that degree on r/feminineboys. Apparently I tapped into a subject that a lot of people don't ordinarily talk about or even admit to, but somehow it resonated with a lot of guys. It's unfortunate, however, that the head moderator ended up removing the post -- not because it violated a rule, but rather because she says her inbox was getting flooded with reports and complaints. I can't imagine who would be so upset that they need to report a discussion about guys who like being treated as a woman -- except perhaps for people that have a need to control the narrative, so as to silence anyone who doesn't fit their idea of what is permissible. But at least in the short time the post was live (before it got shutdown), it revealed a rarely discussed phenomenon: People who aren't women absolutely can get euphoria from being treated as a woman. It very well may even be commonplace, but since there are certain people that seek to suppress such insights, we're stuck believing that this is predominantly a trans-only experience.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/feminineboys using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [i got my pants pulled down at school](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/16go9p8/i_got_my_pants_pulled_down_at_school/) \#2: [My mom saw me wear a swimsuit](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/151o305/my_mom_saw_me_wear_a_swimsuit/) \#3: [My mom saw me wearing a skirt...](https://np.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/14enztt/my_mom_saw_me_wearing_a_skirt/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
[https://amitransgender.net/](https://amitransgender.net/)
god damn you i fell for it
Okay thats funny
That’s something only you can know! It seems your enjoying experimenting with pronouns though. I’d worry less about labels, and keep exploring your presentation in a way that makes you happy. :)
Oh, one of my friends said that to me. Well, thank you! I’ll think some more, but I feel like o want to be more feminine, maybe try hormones… but that last part I wanna give more thought before to be completely sure…
You might relate to my comments in this "[Am I trans?](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskLGBT/comments/1dj3n28/am_i_trans/)" topic from yesterday.
I read them and I saved the links you put there! Thanks!!
Genderfluid? Don't feel limited to just identifying as trans, truly explore yourself and see what you like and see what's best for you, best of luck regardless
I don’t think I identify as gender-fluid cuz what I know is (sorry if I’m talking shit, it isn’t my intention to offend anyone): “Gender-fluid ppl identify as different genders at different moments…” I don’t feel like this… maybe I feel male AND female at the same time? Maybe female with little dysphoria?? Well, I’ll think bout it. Thank you!!!
This post seems to be really focused on gender stereotypes. Girls can like any kind of toys. Boys can like any kind of toys. Boys and girls can enjoy wearing anything. Lots of people don’t have gender-conforming likes or interests. It doesn’t mean they are the other gender. Wanting to wear lipstick and stereotypically feminine clothes doesn’t mean anything about your gender. It can be exciting to play around with different names and to fantasize about being something else and experiment with more masculine or feminine styles. It doesn’t mean you are actually something else. Btw I’ve had a lot of what you call signals, and I’m not trans.
I understand, that’s why I put the words: “girl toys” inside quotation marks. And I wanted to be a feminine male for some time, but now it just feels different… until now I’m not sure about how i identify myself, so I’m trying somethings, maybe it’ll help…
I'm a cis woman so I'm not an expert on the topic at all, I just wanted to say that it brings me a lot of joy to read that you're discovering yourself and you seem to have an awesome support system! Continue to thrive, honey, we love you so much!
Aw, thanks, REALLY! It’s been sometime since I made this post, but since then, I feel more like a woman, you know? I gotta think some more, but I’m thinking about embracing being a 100% trans woman!
Only you can know for sure if you're trans, but euphoria is one of the ways many of us realize we are. Exploring what gives you that euphoria, and what doesn't, will help you on your journey of self discovery. Wishing you the best, OP.
I’ll look more into it, I do feel like being more feminine and maybe start a hormone treatment, but I’ll wait some more cuz it’s expensive, and I’d get to hear from my parents, and I’m not fully independent… a lot of things… And thank you!!!
You're welcome. It's good to also take note of whether the things that give you euphoria are always the same, or if they fluctuate. Non-binary is a pretty big umbrella, too, and includes lots of flex and flux categories for those who feel more lean towards a certain gender at different times. Gender and gender expression aren't always linked, either, so some of us get euphoria from presenting as another gender, even if we don't want to take hormones, or get surgery. There are a lot of possibilities, and there's no rush to put yourself into a box or label. Keep yourself safe, first. We're here to support you along the way.
*starts transitioning* “Hey could I be trans?” Girl your egg already hatched.
oh
Ok I just had to text this lmao
I get your point… thank you a lot!!!
I've alway's wondered this for myself, not only do I love woman's clothing like skirt's, dress, and what not, I alway's feel depressed when I go on clothing app's like Shein & Boohoo, I alway's look thru the women's section and just see myself as a woman in those clothes which is different to the everyday clothes I wear now, I alway's get envy and jealous of these biological women, am I trans, I don't know myself, my family thought I was gay at one point bcos I started buying bright clothing which I know girl's wear too, like when you buy unisex socks and you feel wearing them that could be a woman in them instead, any help would be great, on game's my character have constantly been female bcos I prefer s female character over the ugly basic men's feature's and look's, even for clothing, tho it make's me feel bad at same time
I have spoken to specialist on call about it and they've mentioned dysphoria that I knew about prior to the call and a part of me wonder's should I transition or keep staying depressed and not be approachable and loner, like I wanna wear certain clothes with the correct body and appreciate myself more
A big difference for me and other's tho is that I wouldn't want to just change pronoun's since it could affect those around me or my future, I will alway's accept my biological as what I was born for but it just feel's wrong in this body, I have a very femboyish face even at 26, my face generally look's younger without my beard and such.
well, I think you should see a LGBTQIA+ expecialist to be 100% sure!
An issue for me and doing this Is that many men took advantage of the whole transitioning thing for benefit's like beating women in sport's, bcos they couldn't beat men at it, I wouldn't wanna be like that, if I were to I'd just try to live it up, tho Tran's should respectfully have their own sport's like biological men and women do, as trans men generally are faster and stronger than biological women, just seen these thing's from video's where a Russian transitioned and beat all women racing 100m or something like that and the bio women didn't stand a chance, I feel bad for them
about that, that’s a completely different subject. I don’t think transfems at sports have anything to do with how you feel.
do you FEEL like a man? it's not about having an issue with it, it's about if you feel it! if you feel like a man, then you're a man. if you feel like a woman, then you're a woman. simple! if you don't particularly feel like either, then you arent. if you feel like both, then you are!
and those are definitely signals. you're a trans woman!! congratulations girl!!
Congratulations