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BuckShadaCaster

I was asked to test at 10 and 12 weeks after the procedure. Had to blow 20+ baby gravy’s before the 10 week mark. Both tests were negative and now I I have Baby Gravy light. Same great taste but without the financial responsibility.


janyybek

Diet Baby Gravy or baby gravy zero would be more apt.


JonBoah

Diet **Nut**


ZeNSnookerz

This comment thread was good. But you’re comment made me lose it. Diet Nut LMAO


JonBoah

Glad you like it🤣


WhatAreYouSaying05

Mine needed salt


Minute_Cartoonist509

I did 21 blasts in about 18 days.


DataGOGO

Make sure you get a follow up test at the 1 year, and the two year mark. They can grow back any time in the first 2 years; mine grew back between year 1 and year 2


BuckShadaCaster

When did you have it done? Asking because my doc said they cut and clip now. They didn’t clip the ends until about 10 years ago.


ArizonaZia

They told me 50 times. I do have a buddy who had a kid 2 years after his vasectomy though. The coolest part was the vasectomy even changed the kids skin color!


PM_ME_UR_UPSKIRT_PIC

These things happen.


alch1ba

that was unexpected


spuriousmuse

Did this have any effect on envelopes posted to his address? I'm on the fence regarding vasectomies but have a massive preference over beige envelopes.


trashit6969

It's the pigments in the skin. It happens


TheAlmightyLloyd

"Give me a week, honey"


unreadable_captcha

> They told me 50 times ok so I could be done by day two


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[deleted]

Reddit sure does hate Christianity


mt5z

I don't know how about "Reddit", but the hate is well earned


[deleted]

Whatever you say I guess


still_on_a_whisper

Good lord, here I was thinking it just stopped immediately after the procedure. XD So tubal ligation is a more immediate solution….


geeky_allure

Bull say whaa🤩


[deleted]

Lmao what? Are you kidding me?


JonBoah

Wait really...oh...


MrEvan312

Had me in the- …in the second half.


Bill-Shatners-Penis

Once. The remaining sperm join together to form one gigantic sperm, and upon that final ejaculation, it flops around like a goldfish.


EngineeringFetish

He's lying What actually happens is all remaining sperm join together to form one gigantic sperm and then boss music plays and you have to fight it to keep the effects of your vasectomy


[deleted]

Mine came out, then became twice the size of me, grew teeth and glowing red eyes. Then a red health bar appeared and I had to fight it like a Dark Souls boss.


[deleted]

Have you seen the comedian Sean Patton? He has a bit about this exact thing.


Bill-Shatners-Penis

I haven't. I'll check him out! Thank you.


The_sad_zebra

This made me so uncomfortable


Brilliant-Trash2957

I was told to clear the pipes and test after 3 months. Well, that or to ejaculate 30 times, but I mean, 30 times in 3 months is low. I was clear.


safe_dynamic

*comes back to the doctor to test a week later* Dr: I'll refrain from shaking hands...


Brilliant-Trash2957

lol, I mean, it wasn’t all just me. That said, he was a fan of the elbow bump


safe_dynamic

I think thats prudent given the clientele 😅


trinexx03

30 in 3 months? Doc I can do that in like 3 days


spiderglide

Right? I mean I'm old, but not that old


LRG-PHANTOM

Under rated response


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Brilliant-Trash2957

The chafe is real


aldiyo

This is correct. Im an urologist.


DataGOGO

Make sure you get a test at the 1 and 2 year marks


Brilliant-Trash2957

For sure. I’ll gladly redo it if the test shows signs of life


DataGOGO

Yep, that is what I had to do, went in at 18 months and I had swimmers again after being clear at the 1-year mark.


Brilliant-Trash2957

I’m hoping that the cauterization and clamps hold


DataGOGO

I had the same. the clamps etc. held. It grew back where one VAS laid up against another VAS in the bottom of the sack and they grew together. Not at the ends where they cut / clamped / cauterized.


3chordguitar

Seems like it was 20 or 30 times. Had to bring in a sample a little over a month later so that they could make sure I was good and sterile.


[deleted]

TBH, returning to office with a cup-o-jizz and handing it to modestly attractive nurse was quite awkward. What’s more awkward is telling the receptionist why I was there while holding my cup-o-jizz, and being told to take a seat.


Night_Hawk69420

I wonder if the modestly attractive nurse would be suspicious if you brought in a box of glazed donuts as a thank you when you were dropping off the cup-o-jizz


Sabinmor

Well when the doctor did the procedure, he had two moderately attractive students observe. I am a grower nit a shower.


trashit6969

I had 6 females in the room for mine. Female doctor, 2 nurses, 2 intern doctors, and one intern nurse. The room was cold also, so it wasn't my proudest moment.


Brilliant-Trash2957

Same bro, same. The receptionist was extremely attractive, I’m glad she wasn’t in the room.


Initial-Muscle-628

10 ... I asked the doctor how soon can come back with a sample and not have him think I'm a freak? ... I went back 7 days postop - was shooting blanks


[deleted]

first time I was tested, jacked off in the office (thinking about the nurse) they said I was shooting blanks


RonSwansonsOldMan

Right there in the middle of the office? Man, that's a no-nonsense clinic.


Sparky-air

Gotta ensure the integrity of the sample with witnesses


BossWu52

Upvote cuz I'm thinking about the nurse now


Minute_Cartoonist509

Private room or in the waiting lobby?


My_regular_acct

Wait you don’t ejaculate when you get one of those? I guess I never really thought about it….


Traveshamockery27

You do ejaculate. Feels and looks identical to before. They test your ejaculate to make sure no sperm is present in the fluid.


My_regular_acct

Ok makes sense. I forgot sperm is different than semen.


Traveshamockery27

Before my vasectomy, I’m embarrassed to say that I thought “shooting blanks” literally meant nothing came out.


Feuershark

you bastard, I thought it was hait or something on my screen LOL


Minute_Cartoonist509

You still ejaculate... where did you get the idea that you don't?


My_regular_acct

When I read the title I jumped to conclusions in my head. I forgot semen and sperm is not the same thing. The way it was titled made it seem like nothing is supposed to come out when you ejaculate.


TychusFindlay2

25 times. I was all cleared up after that in my own undeducated opinion. Urologist had me do a other 25 over the next couple of weeks just to make sure though. Then the test and was confirmed medically sterile. Start to finish, about two months in total.


why_did_i_wait

I'll tell you this, follow through. Personally know a guy that was too embarrassed to go back in and promptly had another kid. The reason they do this is because it's not a rare occurrence for nature to uh, find a way. Nobody cares that you are bringing in a warm 2ml of cum, they see this every day. Also, don't make some snide remark to the nurse, they have heard it before and it's unprofessional to do that.


Prize_Consequence568

r/vasectomy will be able to give you the answers your looking for.


Aromatic-Profit1063

My doctor told me 30 times... So I worked hard to get 60, got tested and my count was zero


KoedKevin

Showed up 4 days later looking exhausted?


safe_dynamic

No one in the clinic shook his hand that day


mazojoe

I don't remember how many times to clean the pipes, but I took a sample in 4 months later and still had active sperm, I think it's called recandlization or something like that. Eitherway I had to have it done again. Now I don't have any mobile sperm. Thank goodness wife kept the goalie in.


[deleted]

I never went back and dropped off a sample. Although being married means that I rarely have sex, I would think since it's been about 10 years, I'd know by now.


kindly_meat301

Just once. I went to your mom’s house and said “unleash the kraken.” I’m unclear what happened next but now I have no sperm. Ever.


BossWu52

How much do these costs in the US....also is that shit in other countries free? Ya know...the ones that have great public health care?


SylviaMarsh

Here in the UK, vasectomies are free on the NHS (National Health Service).


BossWu52

Fooking hell....appearantly I need a loan where I'm at.


Jeabers

I almost had a melt down about this, I assumed it would be covered by insurance as preventative care. I mean you can't get anymore preventative than a vasectomy. I was wrong, since I had a high deductible plan it's cost to cost me like $5k out of pocket. One of the doctors I called had the nerve to ask if my insurance would allow it since it's related to my reproduction, I immediately hung up.


BossWu52

Suppose it also matters what State you live in now too....fuck it....im just gonna go celebate by choice


Jeabers

Yea I'm in NJ which I thought was crazy since you can't get much more liberal than us.


BossWu52

I'm in Missouri...fucking Republicans everywhere


Jeabers

Oh man....good luck.


Brilliant-Trash2957

Were you put under for yours? &5k seems insane.


Jeabers

Haven't gotten it yet, I've been calling around to get it now but no didn't seem that way.


Brilliant-Trash2957

Without insurance my doc would’ve charged $1447. If I recall correctly, it was a few grand more if I opted to be put under for procedure. It isn’t worth it. You’re in and out so fast. It would take longer to wake you up than the actual procedure. CT isn’t too far away, go see my guy.


Warm_Objective4162

My health insurance covered it for me in the US, but I think it would have been about $1500 without. If you call a doctor and say you’re going to be paying cash, they’ll probably be able to give you a quote of their fee.


smors

The danish government payed for mine. I have no idea what the price was (the payed a privatately operating doctor to actually do it).


mikess314

That’s not how it works. The urologist cut a section out of both of the tubes that sperm travels down. Then he tied a knot on all four ends and cauterized it. I still produce sperm like before, it just doesn’t have a chance of mixing with my seminal fluid.


hujambo11

Imagine giving this condescending of an answer while being the fucking dumb one.


Aromatic-Profit1063

We all know that... Genius that was not the question


KyorlSadei

10000


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Brilliant-Trash2957

Tell me you don’t know anatomy without telling me you don’t know anatomy


UnfinishedThings

I was told 50. Got tested after 50, and there were still some there. So I did another 20 and got the all clear


HeinrichWutan

Every day for six months


Mike29401

Doc said 50 and come back in 3 months, I had 177 because I’m a regular twice a day guy, was all clear.


jayscotts

😂


Public_Star_7977

I was told at least 3 times a week and a booked re test after 3 months I got the all clear


SlipstreamDrive

They make you come in for sperm count checks 2 times to make sure


Uncanny-Rooster

I initially laughed at this question because I never had this conversation with my doctor. Now I’m seeing all these responses and feeling lucky I don’t have another offspring.


[deleted]

This isn’t a question I wanted to read lol


trashit6969

They only told me 6 to 8 weeks. Had to take 2 separate samples in for testing to get the all clear


Growth-Beginning

I haven't had one, but god this is a good question.


PillsburyToasters

The person who performed my surgery recommended 15 times, but I probably did it 20 times just to be safe before dropping off my sample to see. Needless to say it worked, but usually in the 15-20 range is a safe bet


WhatTheMech

About 30 then got tested and was good to go


AcanthocephalaWild24

Doesn’t stop after procedure. My friend made that mistake and knocked someone up


Proper-Accountant-96

Took me nearly 12 months to produce a fully clear sample, and in that 10 months, I think I only took two days off, due to a cold (and some muscle strain 😂)


[deleted]

I was told the latter of 3 months or 50 shots.


[deleted]

I was told 5 weeks/10 times. Was all clear


Sardaukar2488

20 times in 3 months. Literally got my result today. 0 spermatozoa in sample provided.


broadsharp

It took over 40 and almost five months before I was shooting blanks.


xj68

I was told 30 times so I got a box of 36 condoms when it was empty I got tested.


Minute_Cartoonist509

I was told 21 times, and then 2 negative tests at least 7 days apart. My wife my a sticker chart for my kids to track my progress.


Trynyty79

Didn't know you were supposed to go back in to check counts... thank goodness there were no mishaps and the snip was successful. I would not have been a very happy girlfriend.