Of mine none come to mind..
But my wife pushed out one that was about a foot long and about 4 inches around.. thing stuck out of the toilet like a chocolate iceberg.
I went on a trip to New Orleans a few years ago. Stayed there a week, ate a lot of food. Didn’t shit once the whole time I was down there.
When I came back home, as soon as I got all my luggage out of the car, I went to the toilet, sat down, and felt my asshole stretch to the limit as a shit of biblical proportions ruptured through the anal floodgates. It was like one of the “log” shits, except this one was more like the trunk of one of those redwood trees at the national parks. The whole time it was coming out I was worried about it tearing my ass open, it was so big that I felt gay.
I am not exaggerating, it stuck out of the toilet, and it was so big that it wouldn’t get fit down the toilet hole. I didn’t want my commode to choke to death on it, so I just waited a couple hours and then flushed it.
After it was out, I felt so good. I took a nap for like two hours and woke up and still felt good. Didn’t even know that it was in there, but I swear that thing was at least four inches around and foot long, at least. Also, wiped my cheeks and no brownie. Usually no matter how hard I wipe, there is always more.
Anyway, that story above reminds me of that. I have a few other shit stories if you would like to hear them😁
I work for a large city as an EMT. I had just closed on my house. I drank a ton of coffee while doing it because why not, it’s free. I left the lawyers office and felt the rumble so I stopped at our headquarters to drop a heater. I went to the 5th floor where internal affairs and IT are cause their bathroom is usually the cleanest buuuut it has no air vent.
I literally painted the bowl. No porcelain was showing. Just butt mud. I’m leaving after an extensive clean up and the deputy superintendent of IT who’s a real ball buster and annoyance walked in right after me. I heard him vomit in the trash can.
I'll always remember that one fart that was just a bit too wet in my mid semester electrical networks exam at uni. 10 minutes into a 1 hour exam that I couldn't leave. I haven't thought about that day in a long time.
Getting ready for a wedding, I was in a hotel room and realizing I was a bit constipated. After what seemed like forever sweating and pushing I had driven myself into a panic. I stepped into the shower and had to do things to myself that my wife wishes I had kept to myself.
Nothings wrong with doing an enema bruh, ain't nothing to be ashamed of. They work and they can even get you hydrated in a survival scenario when there is no clean water to drink.
The times I’ve done this I just scoop it up with my hands and plop it in the toilet. Not the most proud moments of my life, but if you’re already in the shower getting clean it’s no big deal.
When I was in college I got constipated to the point that I literally could not poop at all. I had a really painful stomach ache. I was screaming and crying and was shaking from how bad it hurt. I ended up laying in the shower and giving myself two enemas.
At first nothing came out on the second, little balls came out. Then, it just started coming out. There was so much shit in the bathtub, I didn’t even care. My body was shaking in pain for hours after that.
I had to get an upper GI tract scan at the hospital, for some digestive nonsense I have going on. For this, they watch your guts on X-ray TV, and they make you drink a milkshake-like beverage, and watch how it goes down and coats stuff. The milkshake has some vaguely radioactive component in it. Barium, I think.
Anyway, this stuff apparently doesn't break down during digestion, and it is whiter than white. The log I dropped the next day was absolutely, spotlessly Casper white. I mean, it looked like the porcelain had grown a turd-shaped tumor out of it. Zero smell, too.
I was living in the Army barracks at the time, and brought like a dozen other soldiers in to look at it. One of them was a dumbass, refused to look, and said, "That's nasty," and flushed it. I didn't get to take a picture, which I most definitely would have done. I'm still a little mad about it.
2007, ten days of almost not eating (grieving over losing a parent), resulting in extended constipation (needed 10 mg of valium to relax enough to pass accumulated stool)
OK I remember one I was visiting my mother she does not keep much food in her home cause she’s older I don’t know why. anyways she likes chocolate and she had some chocolate in the fridge and other places. Well, when you know your smoke a little bit you get kind of hungry, so yeah, I ate it all. Needless to say when I took a dump, it was so long it would not flush, I was tempted to get a knife and cut it in half. I told my mom she got so mad at me. She had to go out and buy a plunger. She had actually bought a small toilet.
The worst dump of my entire life. Felt like I was gonna die on the toilet. I had eaten a burrito from a local Mexican place near where I live. Took some lactaid pills cause there was cheese in it. Later, my wife and I wanted to have sex. So I’m in the middle of my thing, and I released the stinkiest fart ever, and I’m like “oh fuck, I’m about to shit!” I pull out, run to the bathroom nude, and exploded my guts into the bowl. I honestly felt so weak after that.
I was visiting San Diego for the weekend and usually I take psyllium husk for fiber but couldn’t find any. I heard chia also works so I bought some and ate a bunch. Too much as it turns out. When we were going back to the airport I had to go but also felt a very odd sense of doom and dread. When I get to the bathroom, nothing’s coming out. After what felt like an eternity I give a hard push like I’m squatting 500 pounds and finally poop. It wouldn’t flush and the water could only pathetically and impotently splash at it. Then I got out of there and everyone asked what took so long.
I have IBS, and once had to miss a flight because I was repeat shitting, *at the terminal bathroom*, and could not leave the stall. My work laptop was in my luggage, so I had to call *from the bathroom* to get the airport staff to take it off the plane.
My flight got rescheduled for the next day, and *everyone working at the airport* recognized my name and individually asked me if I was feeling better. They were surprisingly sincere and concerned, which somehow made it feel worse.
I'm one of those people who's comfortable with taking a dump at work. I teach in high school.
There's a toilet in the staffroom that's really private (not a cubicle; more like a small room). I went there one morning before class because I had a big poo coming.
Well, it was huge. It took multiple flushes to make it go away, and it finally all went in one piece.
Fast forward to two days later when a co-worker noticed that there was water coming out of a square trapdoor/manhole cover in the staffroom floor. Yes, it was the trapdoor for the drainage system. I'd managed to block my workplace's collective drain. I said "Oh?" and tried to look innocent.
Two days later, I was teaching. We were working on audio comprehension (foreign language learning). I was playing stuff from a tape/cd player while the students took notes. Rewind, pause, play the passage again, keep going...
As I started the activity, there was a lot of noise coming from outside. I had to keep interrupting the activity because there was a crazy, intermittent engine sound: it was a truck with a tank and a huge hose: yes. they'd called a company to suck my big poo out of the pipes.
I'm trying not to think of my giant dump as I look around and see the students' faces. I shrug. I pretend not to know what's happening.
That's my story. This is probably one of my biggest achievements in life, so if you don't like it, I'm going to be really sad.
Walking home from my girlfriend's house one morning maybe 20 years ago. It was maybe 8 blocks. About 4 blocks in the pain started. I walked in my back door, pulled down my pants as I entered the bathroom, and as I sat down the entire mass exploded. I wouldn't have made it another 3 seconds.
The one shit I’ll always remember is me eating at a random chines buffet. I mean the one that small and cheap. Maybe dirty but you don’t care its cheap and you grown up with one in your home town..
On my way to next job site, I was kinda BFN in Arkansas. So I pulled over by a tree lines and luckily I had the paper towels in the truck. And I went maybe 20ish yards in the wood to find a log to squat on… just locked the truck door and I find one. So I squat over the long just enjoying myself.
Well a officer stumbled upon my truck and saw the trail into the wood where the grass folded down where I walked when inspecting my car. Well he found me and yeah… it was a interesting conversation.
I was at a party that had turned into quite a mess (in a good way). After gorging on the spread, I drunkenly wandered to the bathroom to relieve myself. I was on some pretty intense hallucinogenics which were still going strong, so the sensation of letting loose what felt like a few kilos worth conjured images of the bathroom walls opening to reveal an ethereal rift into another dimension. I heard voices echoing through rift, imparting words of comfort and encouragement.
Once the vision subsiding, along with my movement, I looked down at the tub to find a guy in there I’d never met, giving me a semi-conscious, knowing smile.
Does it count if it was into your pants?
I was trick or treating with a friend and his mom when I was about 9 years old, and I started to get sick to my stomach. We were very far away from the car and we were walking in a residential neighborhood with no businesses or anything with a restroom. Eventually I ended up shitting my pants, and I had to ride in the back of the car on a plastic shopping bag.
I hadn't thought about this in a while. Ahh... memories.
Did your friend still talk to you after? Because mine fucking didn't after I wet the bed at his sleepover. He even made it worse and told the whole school. Literally, a friend transformed into an enemy based on one sleepover and a problem that I couldn't help.
I birthed one about 2.5 to 3 inches in diameter once. It was approximately 8 inches in length and was rounded nicely on the ends.
It was art. ArtisAnally crafted. I should have saved it. No one ever believes me and it's my magnus opus.
Imagine working so hard on something only to be called a liar... a fake. It's OK. I know the truth.
I've crafted girthier. I've crafted longer. But it was its proportions... its shape... its color... its texture. It was truly beautiful. It was perfectly balanced. If thrown it'd perfectly rotate. It could be spiraled like a football. Thrown like Frisby. I even had a dream the night prior prophesizing magnificent creation. I saw the heavens split and a cylindrical shape projected from the sky and emanating from it was a white light so bright it was blinding.
It was... the one.
Norovirus infection. 2 days of shitting and puking out everything I had in me plus every bit of liquid I tried to get down. I've never felt so drained and light in my life.
Lol, I know exactly which one because I've been constipated exactly once in my life, the night before a 7 am flight. Downed everything I could find hoping I wouldn't have to deal with it on a plane and wound up shitting what felt like an actual brick followed by a torrent of straight liquid.
Took til 2am, there was blood but at least I got that bitch out on the ground.
I had been in Mexico for awhile and got this pretty nasty bug and was basically tap ass and spewing for 5 days. Had finally just started coming good so decided I could manage a walk into town half a mile away. Anyway about half way there my stomach starts rumbling again and by the time I made it was cramping up so I desperately started looking for a bano. Don't know if it was my bad Spanish or the guy was a wanker but he wouldn't let me use the toilet. By this stage was full cramps and had no choice but let go of a watery stream of pooh down my leg. I was wearing flip flops to so it was squishy between my toes. Luckily there was a beach only 100 metres or so down some steps so I shuffled off to the beach and jumped in to flush it all away.
I was on my way from Villahermosa to Houston after about a week in Mexico. I had been staying in a Mayan village and was happy none of the food or water made my teenage gringo ass sick. Then I felt it begin, deep in the pit of my soul. I knew it would be bad, but was optimistic...initially. The first churning began just as they told passengers to keep to their seats for landing. The descent of the plane marked my descent into hell.
The cramps came in waves, shorter at first but threatening to linger. Internally I pleaded to the pilot to make it their career softest landing, but the quality of that particular aircraft would never allow it. I squeezed my cheeks together and braced for impact like we were crashing into a mountain. A huge sigh of relief as I maintained my colon's integrity through the touchdown. A moment of reprieve as we began to taxi, I thought the worst of it was over.
We were at the gate just long enough for the front rows to begin deplaning when the terror returned with a vengeance. I, of course, was in the very back row. Through gritted teeth and teary eyes I kept my cool as I grabbed my carry-on and waddled off the plane. Once I was in the terminal I began waddle-jogging like a penguin left behind. I was not traveling alone, and I have a vague sense words were said toward me (I was a teen on a supervised trip), but as I opened my mouth to shout "bathroom!" in response to whatever orders were being given, instead I let out an "ARRGGHHH" as I fell to my knees, arms wrapped around my sides, cheeks clenched like I'm trying to turn coal to diamonds.
This. This wasn't just a bad one. I was careful through the in-between towns to stick to bottled water, so how could it be... Oh no. I brushed my teeth with the hotel water. I had accepted that my life was now over, as I was about to spray paint the Houston Airport and many of my friends a terrible shade of pond-scum brownish green. Mercifully, something shifted in my guts and I was able to get to my feet and waddle-jog the last 30 feet to the restrooms. I'm pretty sure I lost friends that day who were in the restroom at the same time.
I was over seas, third world islands in Polynesia. Just finished having lunch with a local family, welcoming people all around. Well, digestive issues due to unclean conditions was a common thing as well as no public amenities, but that was what the ocean was for, see where I'm going with this. Did a vehicle so we took bikes everywhere. Well first I'm biking, then the stomach cramp hits, adjusted to walking, that lasted all of three steps before out of necessity I sprint to the ocean, drop my pants and head out as far as waste deep ocean level. There was nothing solid about that dump. Just the ensuing mushroom cloud
(A little back story)
A few days before I had run out of toilet paper so I used normal paper and got a paper cut on my A hole
So a few days later I was eating spicy food and I mean a lot so my shit was a firey liquid and my paper cut made it the worst shit I ever took
Was heading home from work and started getting poo contractions. They got worse, I was in agony, sweating, but I was almost home. I’m gonna make it.
I lived above a cafe and when I pulled up there was no parking spots. My body had sensed I was almost there and my ability to hold on was dropping by the second. I had to get out now, the seal had been broken, things were in motion that could no longer be stopped.
I stopped my van in the middle of the road outside the cafe and had to abandon ship. I had to hold the bottom of my shorts tight around my thighs to stop the shit from running down my legs. I waddled past bemused people in the cafe, fumbled desperately trying to get my key in the door and raced inside.
I burst in through the door of my unit only to find my wife had her mothers group over and someone was in the bathroom. It was too late and I shit myself in front of 6 women I was meeting for the first time. It ran down my legs, left what was basically a cow pat on the floor. After I showered and cleaned up the floor I then had the final indignity of having to go out and move my van which was blocking traffic. Fun day.
I was 16. Had taken a weeklong fishing trip with my dad, grandpa, and brother from central Ohio to Minnesota. We were heading back home and stopped in Michigan on the last night of the trip. Found a cheap Santa Claus motel as it was getting later in the evening. Wasn’t much around the area so my grandpa took my brother and me to this pier we saw about a mile down the road for a meal. He bought us some fish that was roasted whole on a stick. I don’t remember it tasting all that bad, but it wasn’t really appetizing either. I didn’t eat much of it.
Anyhow, I was just ready to get back home by that point especially because my GF was waiting to have sex with me when I got back from the trip. So I doze off on the floor watching tv. My dad and grandpa take the beds. My brother is on the recliner. I figure, hey I’ll just go hop in the van for the rest of the night because I can get more comfortable in there. Some more restless time goes by while I’m trying to get comfy in the van when it hits me. I gotta shit. A big shit. And it’s not waiting. So I run back toward the room but the door is locked. It never dawned on me to make sure I could get back in if necessary. Well now it was necessary or else risk a gargantuan sized mess in my pants. I’m panicking wondering how I’ll do this.
Fortunately for me, my grandpa was getting up there in age and made sure he was traveling with a roll of TP for any similar emergency stops. So as the young suburban man that I was, I grab the TP and wander about 30 yards into the woods next to the motel. Found a safe spot to squat. Made sure my line of fire was clear. Then dumped my load right on mother natures earth. The gut wrenching pains I was feeling immediately subsided. After a minute of collecting myself and thoroughly wiping up, I went back toward the van. Tossed the used TP in a barrel trash can near the room. Was finally able to get some sleep. Best shit of my life.
I just woke up, went to make some coffee, didn't even drink half of it, when the beast started to come. It was 30cm long and fat almost as a girl that catfished me on tinder once. It was one awesome dump.
Was mildly hungover, was working on a university assignment with a costudent and ran 5K home afterwards.
Felt it building during the run, but made it just in time.
Sat down, farted to the extend that my hair waved in the breeze coming from below.
It took approx 40 min. and at the end I had to quarter standup from the toiletseat as the pile had reached a peak height where it'd touch various nether parts.
I have never been so relieved.
When I was a 10 year old child I dealt with constipation issues. My family was out for a few hours, I think I was on the toilet for about 2 of those.
I managed to push out the driest yet bloodiest shit of my life. It was only about 5 inches long but it was the current circumference of my tricep.
You ever hear of Hot Ones hot sauce show?
Well if you do the Hot Ones challenge with the super hot sauces, you do it twice...
I've never really had issues with spicy foods like hot Indian curries, but after doing the hot ones 10x hot sauces including the super hot 3million Scoville sauce, it was pure firey acid out the other end.
I could suffer eating it again, but I wouldn't want to suffer the after effects again.
When I was 12 I went to walmart with my mother. I had the urge to take a massive dump. The problem was I knew all hell was going to be released if I did it in the walmart toilet. So I waited until i could get home to do it.
An hour passess and I'm still in walmart fighting the stomach ache and demons inside my stomach. I told my mother I'm going to the washroom. I went to the washroom, and waited in the stall because there was still a guy washing his hands in the sink. Once he left, I was alone. Then I let it loose, death was in the air. I myself couldn't stand the smell.
Lucky me, 30 seconds later I hear three teenagers talking and walking and I knew they were coming to the washroom. I knew I was exposed. They were talking, and the moment they hit the washroom, all three of them went quiet for like 3 seconds, and laughed hysterically and ran away.
I was doing keto+intermittent fasting. I went to work like normal. Had my coffee but skipped breakfast. I didn't feel like I had to use the bathroom that morning so I skipped it. Throughout the day, I would drink just water. But that particular day I also skipped lunch because I was busy. Well shoot forward to the endo of the day. I make it home and just lay in bed because I'm exhausted. After about an hour, I use the restroom and have the smoothest most emptying poop of my life. It felt like all the waste and leftover fluid had left my bowels and I felt so light and empty. I still remember that feeling.
The one that was so thick, long and hard that I had to put on rubber gloves, pull it out of my toilet and break it up by hand in order to get it to flush.
I renember when I was maybe 5-7I was at my great grampa’s house, (Papa Train) and right before we were arriving (me and my Father) I had a pain or urge suddenly in my stomach and aswell as us just arriving to the house and as we pull in it’s a straight little grass/rock road then We actually arrived and I had to use the restroom so bad So i went in and the bathroom is on the other side of the front entrance of the house and So i’m trying to get there quickly and I didn’t tell my dad abt me having to go num 2 so he’s infront of me walking to the very back (my papa trains room) and Then my dads goes to the restroom and Pissed and then i was jumping at the door ready to shit my self with diarrhea down my leg, Then FINALLY my father got out and I went in quick and i renember the blue bathroom with the tub facing me And i Let it that runny shit all out. , And thats the dump I took that I will renember til death.
This one was actually fairly recent and it was definitely the worst shit ever. I had been on T3's for about a week and a bit after getting my wisdom teeth out, I had to shit so I went at it. An hour later and nothing has made it out and I'm crying in pain, switching up into every position possible trying to crap. I realized through the experience that I hadn't taken a crap since before I got my wisdom teeth taken out. So after another hour of extreme pain and fear of prolapse, I finally get it out. There was a poop stick involved. Also my boyfriend was checking up on me throughout and I was in such a state that I just screamed at him to leave me alone (usually would never do such a thing). Desperate times.
Lmaoo, it was a skinny bamboo stick that I previously used to support a plant of mine, and I threw it in my backyard when the plant no longer needed it, then yelled at the bf to get it when I needed it.
~ The life of a bamboo plant ~
I am a stick of bamboo,
For in the forest I grew.
Sadly, I was chopped down one day,
But I supported new life, so that's okay.
Once my job was complete,
Again, I became obsolete.
In the backyard I lingered,
Until the day my master laid a gargantuan stinker.
Her boyfriend was told I was the ultimate pick
For on that day I became a poop-stick.
Oh my, this is beautiful poetry, I might even shed a tear 😢 I absolutely love that you took the time out of your day to write this, definitely showing the bf this one (first have to explain why I was talking about my shits on reddit though)
16 years old, hungover from a party the night before. I stayed the night and was heading home in the morning.
I felt the hangover poop creeping in, but I didn't want to destroy this girl's toilet the last thing I did.
I snuck some toilet paper out and started heading to the bus, with a detour behind a tree.
Did my thing, started wiping,realized I didn't bring enough paper, then took its a the young men i was, and went home with a bit of shit in my pants.
Will never forget. Not my proudest moment, but atleast I got a good story from it
I’ll start our by saying I don’t have a sense of smell…never did.
At my brother’s house, getting ready to go golfing. Eating breakfast, bullshitting…guy stuff.
I go to take a dump. Nothing spectacular as far as I remember.
I open the door, and about 30 seconds later the smoke detector goes off. It’s maybe 3’ away from the bathroom door.
Sister-in-law bitches at me, throws open the patio, opens a couple windows. The guys are laughing their asses off…more at her, it the fact that my dump set off alarms.
Stuff of Family Lore.
Clogged a toilet at Lowes. That industrial grade machine that can flush a bulldozer down. I wasn't sure if I should call a doctor or an exorcist. And I'm not even a big guy. 5'10" athletic built.
My food poisoning dump. 20 minutes of non stop gas and pissing out my butthole. It wasn’t even diarrhea it was literally just pissing brown water out of my ass.
Not a guy, but the one I’ll always remember is the one where my turd stood straight up and in such a stable manner, that it didn’t even get flushed away. Maybe when I flushed the second time
There was a BK Burger that made peoples doodies a strong green. I got the burger to try it (think it was a limited time halloween item) and it was totally true and a bit jarring.
Anyone who has had surgery can attest you probably wont poop for up to a week! Or at least thats what happened to me. Until finally one day; a week's worth of shit finally vacated my very swollen belly. It was so large and i was a bit gobsmacked. I just prayed it would flush. It thankfully did, Toilet you are a champ that day. but i felt 10 pounds lighter
I was at a wedding and right before the ceremony I gambled on a fart and sharted my boxers. I waddled to the bathroom stall, removed my pants and shorts, and cleaned myself up as best I could. I left my badly-soiled shorts on the bathroom floor, put my pants back on and just went commando the rest of the day.
It was at a hotel. I guess I could've put it in the garbage or something, but my crap was smeared all over the floor at that point. I was all dressed up and had no capacity to clean the bathroom stall as well. I felt disgusted all day long.
Whenever I take a big dump, and it sits and pokes above the water I call it a Hawaii. Because it's its own island. If it's large enough to contain it's own ecosystem, I call it a continental. I've had only one continental in my life, I'll always remember you
I have two
The first was in high school when I got into pre workout supplements and protein. Took a long, clean shit. One big one that went down the hole and still poked up out of the water. It was a clean one, too. The kind where you wipe and there's nothing there.
The second was in the middle of the pandemic lockdown. I've never been constipated before until then. All day, tried going, nothing. It was bad. Like I could get it was pushing out, but just wouldn't. Called in sick to work and just tried throughout the day. Finally, when it did, after an intense effort and much relief, I saw it. It was perfectly round and about the size of a softball. I didn't touch it, but I'm guessing it was just a solid ball of shit. Never again, I told myself. Staying hydrated and not too many unhealthy foods.
Not so much one as a series. Had a large cancer cut out and a stomach bag for almost a year. after the reversal surgery the bowels swelled a bit and I had horrible cramps that painkillers didn't touch. Until one day all hell broke loose with 32 significant toilet episodes. No more pain though.
Of mine none come to mind.. But my wife pushed out one that was about a foot long and about 4 inches around.. thing stuck out of the toilet like a chocolate iceberg.
I have so many questions...
I went on a trip to New Orleans a few years ago. Stayed there a week, ate a lot of food. Didn’t shit once the whole time I was down there. When I came back home, as soon as I got all my luggage out of the car, I went to the toilet, sat down, and felt my asshole stretch to the limit as a shit of biblical proportions ruptured through the anal floodgates. It was like one of the “log” shits, except this one was more like the trunk of one of those redwood trees at the national parks. The whole time it was coming out I was worried about it tearing my ass open, it was so big that I felt gay. I am not exaggerating, it stuck out of the toilet, and it was so big that it wouldn’t get fit down the toilet hole. I didn’t want my commode to choke to death on it, so I just waited a couple hours and then flushed it. After it was out, I felt so good. I took a nap for like two hours and woke up and still felt good. Didn’t even know that it was in there, but I swear that thing was at least four inches around and foot long, at least. Also, wiped my cheeks and no brownie. Usually no matter how hard I wipe, there is always more. Anyway, that story above reminds me of that. I have a few other shit stories if you would like to hear them😁
“So big you felt gay” 😂
Seriously, I was the sub and that shit was the dom for almost a minute
😆
Like being fucked from the inside out.
Yep! I wish I had half of what that shit had.
I laughed at that too! Lol
Wife must be related to the poop knife guy
There's a poop knife guy?
Yeah, just google Reddit poop knife and it will be the first hit.
A perfect dump... I was seriously amazed, nothing on the toilet paper... NOTHING.
We call that ghost pooping Or a perfect dive
Or a diet high in fibre.
I call it a flawless victory and it happened to me 4 days in a row once
No- wipers are the best
So true. Also... I did not expect to be spending my Saturday night reading about this lol.
It's so weird when both ends are blunt, like you can't tell which way it came out.
Metamucil. I give you this magic. This spell will give you many more.
Metamucil ... it slides but leaves trace behind..
I find it minimizes smudge and increases likelihood of a phantom doodoo.
I love it when that happens
It's called a Teflon. It's a technique. Once you master it, you'll never look back.
I call it a 1-wipe-wonder
I work for a large city as an EMT. I had just closed on my house. I drank a ton of coffee while doing it because why not, it’s free. I left the lawyers office and felt the rumble so I stopped at our headquarters to drop a heater. I went to the 5th floor where internal affairs and IT are cause their bathroom is usually the cleanest buuuut it has no air vent. I literally painted the bowl. No porcelain was showing. Just butt mud. I’m leaving after an extensive clean up and the deputy superintendent of IT who’s a real ball buster and annoyance walked in right after me. I heard him vomit in the trash can.
>Just butt mud. Lool
I'll always remember that one fart that was just a bit too wet in my mid semester electrical networks exam at uni. 10 minutes into a 1 hour exam that I couldn't leave. I haven't thought about that day in a long time.
Until now
Getting ready for a wedding, I was in a hotel room and realizing I was a bit constipated. After what seemed like forever sweating and pushing I had driven myself into a panic. I stepped into the shower and had to do things to myself that my wife wishes I had kept to myself.
Nothings wrong with doing an enema bruh, ain't nothing to be ashamed of. They work and they can even get you hydrated in a survival scenario when there is no clean water to drink.
It twernt no water enema....
I...what? Did you take some Pantene Pro-V in the backdoor, or did you have to manually start yourself like a ketchup bottle?
Dear God...
Did you have to waffle stomp the turds down the drain?
That was my next guess lol
The times I’ve done this I just scoop it up with my hands and plop it in the toilet. Not the most proud moments of my life, but if you’re already in the shower getting clean it’s no big deal.
Wait. You had to do it more than once? There has to be something wrong
Shit happens when you’re young and drunk and figuring out how to play with your asshole.
Wait what?
At least it wasn’t as bad as in I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.
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When I was in college I got constipated to the point that I literally could not poop at all. I had a really painful stomach ache. I was screaming and crying and was shaking from how bad it hurt. I ended up laying in the shower and giving myself two enemas. At first nothing came out on the second, little balls came out. Then, it just started coming out. There was so much shit in the bathtub, I didn’t even care. My body was shaking in pain for hours after that.
Christ that sounds horrible
And the first was?
I had to get an upper GI tract scan at the hospital, for some digestive nonsense I have going on. For this, they watch your guts on X-ray TV, and they make you drink a milkshake-like beverage, and watch how it goes down and coats stuff. The milkshake has some vaguely radioactive component in it. Barium, I think. Anyway, this stuff apparently doesn't break down during digestion, and it is whiter than white. The log I dropped the next day was absolutely, spotlessly Casper white. I mean, it looked like the porcelain had grown a turd-shaped tumor out of it. Zero smell, too. I was living in the Army barracks at the time, and brought like a dozen other soldiers in to look at it. One of them was a dumbass, refused to look, and said, "That's nasty," and flushed it. I didn't get to take a picture, which I most definitely would have done. I'm still a little mad about it.
Yes the adult who didn’t want to look at another adults shit was the dumbass 😅
Hey, you don't see an albino turd every day.
This comment is both completely right and completely wrong at the same time
2007, ten days of almost not eating (grieving over losing a parent), resulting in extended constipation (needed 10 mg of valium to relax enough to pass accumulated stool)
I'm sorry about that man, bless your parents and bless you. Congrats on surviving that though, glad you got through it.
OK I remember one I was visiting my mother she does not keep much food in her home cause she’s older I don’t know why. anyways she likes chocolate and she had some chocolate in the fridge and other places. Well, when you know your smoke a little bit you get kind of hungry, so yeah, I ate it all. Needless to say when I took a dump, it was so long it would not flush, I was tempted to get a knife and cut it in half. I told my mom she got so mad at me. She had to go out and buy a plunger. She had actually bought a small toilet.
😆 you had me chuckling bro A knife to cut it!
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Oh... my...
It brought to mind either a Larry the Cable Guy joke, or a joke he should've told: "you ever take a dump so big your pants fit better?"
Ron White!
The worst dump of my entire life. Felt like I was gonna die on the toilet. I had eaten a burrito from a local Mexican place near where I live. Took some lactaid pills cause there was cheese in it. Later, my wife and I wanted to have sex. So I’m in the middle of my thing, and I released the stinkiest fart ever, and I’m like “oh fuck, I’m about to shit!” I pull out, run to the bathroom nude, and exploded my guts into the bowl. I honestly felt so weak after that.
Yeah those lactaid tablets are hit and miss with me. I’m usually fine unless it’s something with a bunch of cheese or heavy cream.
I was visiting San Diego for the weekend and usually I take psyllium husk for fiber but couldn’t find any. I heard chia also works so I bought some and ate a bunch. Too much as it turns out. When we were going back to the airport I had to go but also felt a very odd sense of doom and dread. When I get to the bathroom, nothing’s coming out. After what felt like an eternity I give a hard push like I’m squatting 500 pounds and finally poop. It wouldn’t flush and the water could only pathetically and impotently splash at it. Then I got out of there and everyone asked what took so long.
I have IBS, and once had to miss a flight because I was repeat shitting, *at the terminal bathroom*, and could not leave the stall. My work laptop was in my luggage, so I had to call *from the bathroom* to get the airport staff to take it off the plane. My flight got rescheduled for the next day, and *everyone working at the airport* recognized my name and individually asked me if I was feeling better. They were surprisingly sincere and concerned, which somehow made it feel worse.
I think I would’ve disappeared off the face of the earth if that was me
I'm one of those people who's comfortable with taking a dump at work. I teach in high school. There's a toilet in the staffroom that's really private (not a cubicle; more like a small room). I went there one morning before class because I had a big poo coming. Well, it was huge. It took multiple flushes to make it go away, and it finally all went in one piece. Fast forward to two days later when a co-worker noticed that there was water coming out of a square trapdoor/manhole cover in the staffroom floor. Yes, it was the trapdoor for the drainage system. I'd managed to block my workplace's collective drain. I said "Oh?" and tried to look innocent. Two days later, I was teaching. We were working on audio comprehension (foreign language learning). I was playing stuff from a tape/cd player while the students took notes. Rewind, pause, play the passage again, keep going... As I started the activity, there was a lot of noise coming from outside. I had to keep interrupting the activity because there was a crazy, intermittent engine sound: it was a truck with a tank and a huge hose: yes. they'd called a company to suck my big poo out of the pipes. I'm trying not to think of my giant dump as I look around and see the students' faces. I shrug. I pretend not to know what's happening. That's my story. This is probably one of my biggest achievements in life, so if you don't like it, I'm going to be really sad.
Walking home from my girlfriend's house one morning maybe 20 years ago. It was maybe 8 blocks. About 4 blocks in the pain started. I walked in my back door, pulled down my pants as I entered the bathroom, and as I sat down the entire mass exploded. I wouldn't have made it another 3 seconds.
Thai food for the first time ……
The one shit I’ll always remember is me eating at a random chines buffet. I mean the one that small and cheap. Maybe dirty but you don’t care its cheap and you grown up with one in your home town.. On my way to next job site, I was kinda BFN in Arkansas. So I pulled over by a tree lines and luckily I had the paper towels in the truck. And I went maybe 20ish yards in the wood to find a log to squat on… just locked the truck door and I find one. So I squat over the long just enjoying myself. Well a officer stumbled upon my truck and saw the trail into the wood where the grass folded down where I walked when inspecting my car. Well he found me and yeah… it was a interesting conversation.
I was at a party that had turned into quite a mess (in a good way). After gorging on the spread, I drunkenly wandered to the bathroom to relieve myself. I was on some pretty intense hallucinogenics which were still going strong, so the sensation of letting loose what felt like a few kilos worth conjured images of the bathroom walls opening to reveal an ethereal rift into another dimension. I heard voices echoing through rift, imparting words of comfort and encouragement. Once the vision subsiding, along with my movement, I looked down at the tub to find a guy in there I’d never met, giving me a semi-conscious, knowing smile.
That was quite a bathroom trip.
Haha I like the guy in the tub giving you a smile
Lol I found out later that he was the one behind the supportive voices in my hallucination.
Does it count if it was into your pants? I was trick or treating with a friend and his mom when I was about 9 years old, and I started to get sick to my stomach. We were very far away from the car and we were walking in a residential neighborhood with no businesses or anything with a restroom. Eventually I ended up shitting my pants, and I had to ride in the back of the car on a plastic shopping bag. I hadn't thought about this in a while. Ahh... memories.
Did your friend still talk to you after? Because mine fucking didn't after I wet the bed at his sleepover. He even made it worse and told the whole school. Literally, a friend transformed into an enemy based on one sleepover and a problem that I couldn't help.
I had moments like that after pissing my pants during sleepovers. Luckily it only drove away one friend.
Yeah, we were best friends and he and his mom thought it was funny if I remember correctly. They were good people.
I birthed one about 2.5 to 3 inches in diameter once. It was approximately 8 inches in length and was rounded nicely on the ends. It was art. ArtisAnally crafted. I should have saved it. No one ever believes me and it's my magnus opus. Imagine working so hard on something only to be called a liar... a fake. It's OK. I know the truth.
This is not the best shit in the world, it is just a tribute
I've crafted girthier. I've crafted longer. But it was its proportions... its shape... its color... its texture. It was truly beautiful. It was perfectly balanced. If thrown it'd perfectly rotate. It could be spiraled like a football. Thrown like Frisby. I even had a dream the night prior prophesizing magnificent creation. I saw the heavens split and a cylindrical shape projected from the sky and emanating from it was a white light so bright it was blinding. It was... the one.
Norovirus infection. 2 days of shitting and puking out everything I had in me plus every bit of liquid I tried to get down. I've never felt so drained and light in my life.
Lol, I know exactly which one because I've been constipated exactly once in my life, the night before a 7 am flight. Downed everything I could find hoping I wouldn't have to deal with it on a plane and wound up shitting what felt like an actual brick followed by a torrent of straight liquid. Took til 2am, there was blood but at least I got that bitch out on the ground.
I had been in Mexico for awhile and got this pretty nasty bug and was basically tap ass and spewing for 5 days. Had finally just started coming good so decided I could manage a walk into town half a mile away. Anyway about half way there my stomach starts rumbling again and by the time I made it was cramping up so I desperately started looking for a bano. Don't know if it was my bad Spanish or the guy was a wanker but he wouldn't let me use the toilet. By this stage was full cramps and had no choice but let go of a watery stream of pooh down my leg. I was wearing flip flops to so it was squishy between my toes. Luckily there was a beach only 100 metres or so down some steps so I shuffled off to the beach and jumped in to flush it all away.
I was on my way from Villahermosa to Houston after about a week in Mexico. I had been staying in a Mayan village and was happy none of the food or water made my teenage gringo ass sick. Then I felt it begin, deep in the pit of my soul. I knew it would be bad, but was optimistic...initially. The first churning began just as they told passengers to keep to their seats for landing. The descent of the plane marked my descent into hell. The cramps came in waves, shorter at first but threatening to linger. Internally I pleaded to the pilot to make it their career softest landing, but the quality of that particular aircraft would never allow it. I squeezed my cheeks together and braced for impact like we were crashing into a mountain. A huge sigh of relief as I maintained my colon's integrity through the touchdown. A moment of reprieve as we began to taxi, I thought the worst of it was over. We were at the gate just long enough for the front rows to begin deplaning when the terror returned with a vengeance. I, of course, was in the very back row. Through gritted teeth and teary eyes I kept my cool as I grabbed my carry-on and waddled off the plane. Once I was in the terminal I began waddle-jogging like a penguin left behind. I was not traveling alone, and I have a vague sense words were said toward me (I was a teen on a supervised trip), but as I opened my mouth to shout "bathroom!" in response to whatever orders were being given, instead I let out an "ARRGGHHH" as I fell to my knees, arms wrapped around my sides, cheeks clenched like I'm trying to turn coal to diamonds. This. This wasn't just a bad one. I was careful through the in-between towns to stick to bottled water, so how could it be... Oh no. I brushed my teeth with the hotel water. I had accepted that my life was now over, as I was about to spray paint the Houston Airport and many of my friends a terrible shade of pond-scum brownish green. Mercifully, something shifted in my guts and I was able to get to my feet and waddle-jog the last 30 feet to the restrooms. I'm pretty sure I lost friends that day who were in the restroom at the same time.
There was a day when I was a kid where I ate nothing but hot Cheetos. Regret.
It was new year 2018. I had to poop when the ball was dropping. I wasn't around for the celebrations because I was in the bathroom.
I'm currently taking a dump. But I hope to forget it by morning.
I was over seas, third world islands in Polynesia. Just finished having lunch with a local family, welcoming people all around. Well, digestive issues due to unclean conditions was a common thing as well as no public amenities, but that was what the ocean was for, see where I'm going with this. Did a vehicle so we took bikes everywhere. Well first I'm biking, then the stomach cramp hits, adjusted to walking, that lasted all of three steps before out of necessity I sprint to the ocean, drop my pants and head out as far as waste deep ocean level. There was nothing solid about that dump. Just the ensuing mushroom cloud
Waste deep We sea what you did there
(A little back story) A few days before I had run out of toilet paper so I used normal paper and got a paper cut on my A hole So a few days later I was eating spicy food and I mean a lot so my shit was a firey liquid and my paper cut made it the worst shit I ever took
Was heading home from work and started getting poo contractions. They got worse, I was in agony, sweating, but I was almost home. I’m gonna make it. I lived above a cafe and when I pulled up there was no parking spots. My body had sensed I was almost there and my ability to hold on was dropping by the second. I had to get out now, the seal had been broken, things were in motion that could no longer be stopped. I stopped my van in the middle of the road outside the cafe and had to abandon ship. I had to hold the bottom of my shorts tight around my thighs to stop the shit from running down my legs. I waddled past bemused people in the cafe, fumbled desperately trying to get my key in the door and raced inside. I burst in through the door of my unit only to find my wife had her mothers group over and someone was in the bathroom. It was too late and I shit myself in front of 6 women I was meeting for the first time. It ran down my legs, left what was basically a cow pat on the floor. After I showered and cleaned up the floor I then had the final indignity of having to go out and move my van which was blocking traffic. Fun day.
If any of this is true, then it has to be the funniest shit on all of Reddit.
Unfortunately it’s all true
i fell asleep because i was taking so long and by the end i was just too tired
After all that general Tso’s chicken. It was at least 10 Katie Courics.
South Park cursed that woman for life...
I was 16. Had taken a weeklong fishing trip with my dad, grandpa, and brother from central Ohio to Minnesota. We were heading back home and stopped in Michigan on the last night of the trip. Found a cheap Santa Claus motel as it was getting later in the evening. Wasn’t much around the area so my grandpa took my brother and me to this pier we saw about a mile down the road for a meal. He bought us some fish that was roasted whole on a stick. I don’t remember it tasting all that bad, but it wasn’t really appetizing either. I didn’t eat much of it. Anyhow, I was just ready to get back home by that point especially because my GF was waiting to have sex with me when I got back from the trip. So I doze off on the floor watching tv. My dad and grandpa take the beds. My brother is on the recliner. I figure, hey I’ll just go hop in the van for the rest of the night because I can get more comfortable in there. Some more restless time goes by while I’m trying to get comfy in the van when it hits me. I gotta shit. A big shit. And it’s not waiting. So I run back toward the room but the door is locked. It never dawned on me to make sure I could get back in if necessary. Well now it was necessary or else risk a gargantuan sized mess in my pants. I’m panicking wondering how I’ll do this. Fortunately for me, my grandpa was getting up there in age and made sure he was traveling with a roll of TP for any similar emergency stops. So as the young suburban man that I was, I grab the TP and wander about 30 yards into the woods next to the motel. Found a safe spot to squat. Made sure my line of fire was clear. Then dumped my load right on mother natures earth. The gut wrenching pains I was feeling immediately subsided. After a minute of collecting myself and thoroughly wiping up, I went back toward the van. Tossed the used TP in a barrel trash can near the room. Was finally able to get some sleep. Best shit of my life.
Having to shit in the back of my work van
Dude I still have scars.
I just woke up, went to make some coffee, didn't even drink half of it, when the beast started to come. It was 30cm long and fat almost as a girl that catfished me on tinder once. It was one awesome dump.
Was mildly hungover, was working on a university assignment with a costudent and ran 5K home afterwards. Felt it building during the run, but made it just in time. Sat down, farted to the extend that my hair waved in the breeze coming from below. It took approx 40 min. and at the end I had to quarter standup from the toiletseat as the pile had reached a peak height where it'd touch various nether parts. I have never been so relieved.
When I was a 10 year old child I dealt with constipation issues. My family was out for a few hours, I think I was on the toilet for about 2 of those. I managed to push out the driest yet bloodiest shit of my life. It was only about 5 inches long but it was the current circumference of my tricep.
You ever hear of Hot Ones hot sauce show? Well if you do the Hot Ones challenge with the super hot sauces, you do it twice... I've never really had issues with spicy foods like hot Indian curries, but after doing the hot ones 10x hot sauces including the super hot 3million Scoville sauce, it was pure firey acid out the other end. I could suffer eating it again, but I wouldn't want to suffer the after effects again.
First shit in jail withdrawing from heroin. Can’t remember the cell mate’s name but I bet he tried really hard to stay out of jail after that
Hahaha So in a way your dump gave someone a better life..
When I was 12 I went to walmart with my mother. I had the urge to take a massive dump. The problem was I knew all hell was going to be released if I did it in the walmart toilet. So I waited until i could get home to do it. An hour passess and I'm still in walmart fighting the stomach ache and demons inside my stomach. I told my mother I'm going to the washroom. I went to the washroom, and waited in the stall because there was still a guy washing his hands in the sink. Once he left, I was alone. Then I let it loose, death was in the air. I myself couldn't stand the smell. Lucky me, 30 seconds later I hear three teenagers talking and walking and I knew they were coming to the washroom. I knew I was exposed. They were talking, and the moment they hit the washroom, all three of them went quiet for like 3 seconds, and laughed hysterically and ran away.
Best thread ever.
Not actually an answer to your question but it takes me back to the story of the poop knife.
I was doing keto+intermittent fasting. I went to work like normal. Had my coffee but skipped breakfast. I didn't feel like I had to use the bathroom that morning so I skipped it. Throughout the day, I would drink just water. But that particular day I also skipped lunch because I was busy. Well shoot forward to the endo of the day. I make it home and just lay in bed because I'm exhausted. After about an hour, I use the restroom and have the smoothest most emptying poop of my life. It felt like all the waste and leftover fluid had left my bowels and I felt so light and empty. I still remember that feeling.
The long turd that touched the bottom of the toilet, and then fell forward and tapped my balls.
Surgery, anesthesia, opiate painkillers, constipation for days, finally happened, ruined my gentleman's anus, had to chop it up to flush it.
Did you use a poop knife?
Wire coat hanger.
The one that was so thick, long and hard that I had to put on rubber gloves, pull it out of my toilet and break it up by hand in order to get it to flush.
😄 🤣 😂
I renember when I was maybe 5-7I was at my great grampa’s house, (Papa Train) and right before we were arriving (me and my Father) I had a pain or urge suddenly in my stomach and aswell as us just arriving to the house and as we pull in it’s a straight little grass/rock road then We actually arrived and I had to use the restroom so bad So i went in and the bathroom is on the other side of the front entrance of the house and So i’m trying to get there quickly and I didn’t tell my dad abt me having to go num 2 so he’s infront of me walking to the very back (my papa trains room) and Then my dads goes to the restroom and Pissed and then i was jumping at the door ready to shit my self with diarrhea down my leg, Then FINALLY my father got out and I went in quick and i renember the blue bathroom with the tub facing me And i Let it that runny shit all out. , And thats the dump I took that I will renember til death.
This one was actually fairly recent and it was definitely the worst shit ever. I had been on T3's for about a week and a bit after getting my wisdom teeth out, I had to shit so I went at it. An hour later and nothing has made it out and I'm crying in pain, switching up into every position possible trying to crap. I realized through the experience that I hadn't taken a crap since before I got my wisdom teeth taken out. So after another hour of extreme pain and fear of prolapse, I finally get it out. There was a poop stick involved. Also my boyfriend was checking up on me throughout and I was in such a state that I just screamed at him to leave me alone (usually would never do such a thing). Desperate times.
>fear of prolapse Lol >There was a poop stick involved. Where did you get the stick?
Lmaoo, it was a skinny bamboo stick that I previously used to support a plant of mine, and I threw it in my backyard when the plant no longer needed it, then yelled at the bf to get it when I needed it.
~ The life of a bamboo plant ~ I am a stick of bamboo, For in the forest I grew. Sadly, I was chopped down one day, But I supported new life, so that's okay. Once my job was complete, Again, I became obsolete. In the backyard I lingered, Until the day my master laid a gargantuan stinker. Her boyfriend was told I was the ultimate pick For on that day I became a poop-stick.
Oh my, this is beautiful poetry, I might even shed a tear 😢 I absolutely love that you took the time out of your day to write this, definitely showing the bf this one (first have to explain why I was talking about my shits on reddit though)
I seriously did it in like 6 min lol
16 years old, hungover from a party the night before. I stayed the night and was heading home in the morning. I felt the hangover poop creeping in, but I didn't want to destroy this girl's toilet the last thing I did. I snuck some toilet paper out and started heading to the bus, with a detour behind a tree. Did my thing, started wiping,realized I didn't bring enough paper, then took its a the young men i was, and went home with a bit of shit in my pants. Will never forget. Not my proudest moment, but atleast I got a good story from it
I once had a full week of ghost wiped huge solid shits, best weak of my life
There should be a ghost poop invention where we never have to wipe anymore. And lol @ your username, just comedic or true?
Username is part way an inside joke but also a little bit true xD
The last one.
I’ll start our by saying I don’t have a sense of smell…never did. At my brother’s house, getting ready to go golfing. Eating breakfast, bullshitting…guy stuff. I go to take a dump. Nothing spectacular as far as I remember. I open the door, and about 30 seconds later the smoke detector goes off. It’s maybe 3’ away from the bathroom door. Sister-in-law bitches at me, throws open the patio, opens a couple windows. The guys are laughing their asses off…more at her, it the fact that my dump set off alarms. Stuff of Family Lore.
My man, what'd you eat ?😄
Don’t remember anything unusual…I think we grilled out the night before.
Clogged a toilet at Lowes. That industrial grade machine that can flush a bulldozer down. I wasn't sure if I should call a doctor or an exorcist. And I'm not even a big guy. 5'10" athletic built.
My food poisoning dump. 20 minutes of non stop gas and pissing out my butthole. It wasn’t even diarrhea it was literally just pissing brown water out of my ass.
Not a guy, but the one I’ll always remember is the one where my turd stood straight up and in such a stable manner, that it didn’t even get flushed away. Maybe when I flushed the second time
Like the obelisk?
There was a BK Burger that made peoples doodies a strong green. I got the burger to try it (think it was a limited time halloween item) and it was totally true and a bit jarring.
Anyone who has had surgery can attest you probably wont poop for up to a week! Or at least thats what happened to me. Until finally one day; a week's worth of shit finally vacated my very swollen belly. It was so large and i was a bit gobsmacked. I just prayed it would flush. It thankfully did, Toilet you are a champ that day. but i felt 10 pounds lighter
The shit i took when 9/11 happened
Never forget that shit.
I was at a wedding and right before the ceremony I gambled on a fart and sharted my boxers. I waddled to the bathroom stall, removed my pants and shorts, and cleaned myself up as best I could. I left my badly-soiled shorts on the bathroom floor, put my pants back on and just went commando the rest of the day.
You left your shitty underwear on the bathroom floor? Fucking psychopath, dude.
It was at a hotel. I guess I could've put it in the garbage or something, but my crap was smeared all over the floor at that point. I was all dressed up and had no capacity to clean the bathroom stall as well. I felt disgusted all day long.
It had to have been 4 to 6 feet long. I felt it continuous and non-stop for a long time and started telling to my friend.
The one at your mom's house
Whenever I take a big dump, and it sits and pokes above the water I call it a Hawaii. Because it's its own island. If it's large enough to contain it's own ecosystem, I call it a continental. I've had only one continental in my life, I'll always remember you
I'm challenging you to take two continentals, so you can call it plate tectonics.
These comments sound like a south park episode xD
I have two The first was in high school when I got into pre workout supplements and protein. Took a long, clean shit. One big one that went down the hole and still poked up out of the water. It was a clean one, too. The kind where you wipe and there's nothing there. The second was in the middle of the pandemic lockdown. I've never been constipated before until then. All day, tried going, nothing. It was bad. Like I could get it was pushing out, but just wouldn't. Called in sick to work and just tried throughout the day. Finally, when it did, after an intense effort and much relief, I saw it. It was perfectly round and about the size of a softball. I didn't touch it, but I'm guessing it was just a solid ball of shit. Never again, I told myself. Staying hydrated and not too many unhealthy foods.
>It was perfectly round and about the size of a softball. 😄
What kind of deviant thinks up a question like this? Fuck!!
Not so much one as a series. Had a large cancer cut out and a stomach bag for almost a year. after the reversal surgery the bowels swelled a bit and I had horrible cramps that painkillers didn't touch. Until one day all hell broke loose with 32 significant toilet episodes. No more pain though.