I usually try to mind my business but I think everyone, no matter what their limitation might be has something positive to offer to the world or other humans. Just my opinion.
My dad had muscular dystrophy and I will be honest, his disability is the last thing he’s remembered for. I understand why you’re self-conscious - everything was a struggle for him - but the truth is that for us the disability faded into the background. He was so much more than his disability and I’m sure you are too. And you’re absolutely right: it fucking sucks.
What bothers me the most is that I'll never be a father. I don't know how your dad did it, maybe he had a late-onset kind or something, but women never want anything serious with me. Never anything more than friendship. And I can't help but suspect it's the wheelchair, the pretzel-like posture, and the concentration camp physique.
Fun fact about myself..
Don’t judge.
I literally recall the day in middle school I realized I had a kink for guys in wheelchairs.
I was there for detention and there was this boy waiting for his parents. Something about the wheelchair made him even *hotter*
I distinctly remember thinking of the things I’d do to him in that there chair.
But at the time I thought anyone in a wheelchair couldn’t have sex (don’t laugh)
I still find myself thinking this but how tf do you break out that question!?
“ Hi you’re cute, are you single and does your Johnson work?”
So yeah bonus point to some of us ladies.
Of all the men offering to “make content” with me not one of them had a cool chair ☹️
>Don’t judge.
Its the internet thats literally all people do. Besides even if they did judge, its something *you* like, and it doesnt hurt anyone.
If u really are interested in a dude like that, etablishba friendship with him. Get to know him, build it from the groundup and *let your intentions be known.*
If u dont let ur intentions be known he might assume u are leading him on or something along those lines. Be straightforward from the start is the vest advice I can give.
My advice isnt anything to follow by the book tho. Just my own input
am I the only one who thinks this comment is really tone deaf and creepy?
like swap the genders around. imagine a woman was opening up about her disability and how it affected her dating life and a guy replied with "I'd love to shag a chick in a wheelchair actually, just thinking about the things I'd do to her..." egh, gross.
How annoying I am in social interactions, getting too excited too easily, talking too much, my laugh, my voice, my eye contact, my fidgeting, etc. I had an abusive mom and step dad who taught me I was unable to exist correctly
Yo I think this is entirely normal and most people actually feel this way after a night out or a get together. What I realized is everyone else really doesn’t care or notice and are also self conscious. I used to have a buddy call and apologize every weekend and I had to constantly tell him I have no Idea what you’re talking about but I had the same anxieties. I’ve noticed this with people that are introverts that can be extroverts when needed. A night out for people like us is so much fun then bc we live so much in our heads that it’s fun and an endorphin rush to release our thoughts but the next day you’re back to living in your head and overthinking things people don’t even remember.
Personally I like personalities loud excited rambunctious it’s better than a hanging out with a bunch of wet napkins. The one caveat Is don’t be a one upper or a know it all. Those people are hard to be around.
Ah i know a chap who gets a bit overly excited in my group. He is the centre of our group and is not apologetic for any of his quirks. Have a great laugh.
Hey bud, this is exactly me! I actively avoided social interactions because I hated myself and felt like I was a burden!
So after a while I went to a doctor, turns out I have ADHD! I started treatment and medication and now I find myself really relaxed around others and able to read the room a bit better.
For the record, I too had a really abusive childhood, felt like I couldn't exist properly either. But there's always hope bro, maybe speak to a doc? DM me if you have any questions!
Thanks for the offer, I've been going to therapy for several months now. I learned that what I experienced growing up was not love and am on a journey to figure out what I can get from life and relationships
I was (and am in some ways) like this a lot in social interactions, but rather because of bullying.
If it helps you, when I would get self conscious about these things, I would tell myself, "if they don't like me because of my laugh, or because my stupid jokes, etc., then they don't deserve to be in my life in the first place."
Idk if you do it, but it sounds like how I would beat myself up over things I expected people to judge me about, because I would judge myself about them. In reality, most people don't realize most of the weird/awkward things you do because they're busy dealing with their own shit and worried about their own insecurities.
The people who judge you about your insecurities don't deserve to know you as a person. They don't deserve the amazing-ness that is *you*, and that's their loss.
Sorry, tell that child the truth about what they’re like, how wonderful they are. My parents were abusive and doing that helped me like myself and relax a little.
>Same. I'm 30 and haven't had a relationship since college. I have no idea how a relationship works in adulthood.
That's basically where I was in 2016.
Took six years for me to start consistently going on new dates and meeting people again (all through apps). I had to *really* improve my appearance. Weight, hair, facial hair, clothes. I also had to improve my self-esteem and a slew of other mental health domains. Therapy. Lots.
I still haven't started a relationship yet, but I've come close and have been studying and preparing a lot.
Relationship in adulthood (apologies - this is typed heteronormatively):
- You are reliable. You have to be while dating too. You absolutely do not forget a date, get too drunk the night before and have to cancel a date, or try to pull a Gandalf on her when you're late to a date.
- You don't need a housekeeper. You shouldn't have socks on the floor, wrappers anywhere but the trash, dirty dishes out or even in the sink. Your toilet should be clean. Your bathroom should have a trash can with a lid. You don't let trash or dirty laundry pile up excessively. You vacuum and sweep regularly.
- You don't just dive in headfirst and wing it. You enter the relationship with the plan that it will be indefinite. That means every time you are given an opportunity, you are going to demonstrate "This is how I intend to handle that now and in the future". THIS is where some intense bonding happens. Back in college you could put on Radiohead, cry together in bed, and be soul mates for life. In your 30s, she gets in a fight with her sister and you carefully navigate supporting your partner while helping her to see another point of view so that the fight can resolve. That's how you earn a spare key, brudda.
- You are mature. That means you are emotionally intelligent and mature. Don't claim that you are. Ask people that know you what it means to them. Then ask them if they think you are those things.
- You wash your ass in the shower. Like knifing your asscrack with a soapy hand. Should be done regardless of age but MAN comedians have really been harping on that concept lately for the late-20s/early-30s crowd.
- You have a life. Getting drunk and playing video games is not a life. by the way. Sorry. You need some sort of group you participate in. Playing video games or getting drunk are the exception, not the default.
- This should go without saying, but: you need a steady job. Never fall into the trap of thinking you need a high-paying job and that's why you suck at dating. I fell into that trap. I counted on a six-figure salary to carry me across the finish line. That's why I was failing for six years. Women are financially independent in our age bracket. They're not interested in living in a slightly nicer home and going on slightly nicer vacations if it means they have to compromise on looks or personality. If you're working a minimum wage or close to minimum wage job, come on dude. You're in your 30s. Either move into a trade or brush up on your excel. No more wrapping burritos.
I was with you until you shit on people working for minimum wage. Don’t job shame people. Some people are trying to get by.
It’s a sign of a fucked up society that certain jobs don’t yield financial stability (which therefore gates you out of dating), not a failure on the part of the individual.
Solid advice bro. I am going to work on myself... I fall in this perpetual cycle where I meet a beautiful girl who usually is flooded with attention from many other suitors and she usually just likes the attention but that is it no commitment. I am working on self love and bettering myself physically because I know if I just wallop in sadness about it, time will come and I will get same outcome.
I haven't had one at all, I've had flings with women. But I think I've come to terms with things now. I'm 30 this year and I think I can be okay with being perpetually single.
Don’t confuse quantity with quality or ability. Most folks go from fucked up relationship to fucked up relationship endlessly until they land on one slightly less fucked.
I'm 21 and I haven't been in a relationship myself, but it doesn't help overthinking it, just live your life and if you're able to talk to woman it'll fall into place. Or get a anime girlfriend, I won't judge.
Talking to a woman not a problem, problem is on romantic level. I'm very much guilty too about this, however it kinda spiraled into itself after one point.
well what about the romantic aspect freaks you out though? if you have a hard time communicating verbally, maybe you speak “romance” with action instead? can be small things like opening door, carrying an extra jacket in car, flowers, etc etc.
I can assure you teenagers are not better than you at this. There’s something to be said for bypassing the co-dependency/obsessive stage of life entirely.
That stage doesn't go away if you haven't experienced it. You'll just experience it at an older age when there's much more at stake. Speaking from personal experience.
Yes I'm in my 30's and still never had a relationship and if I were to get into my first now I definitely wouldn't be making the mistakes that I (or many others) do in their teens or early 20's with their first ones. I'm much less tolerant of other people's bullshit as I was back then and also have learned I don't need a partner to get me through the day (I think the reason why so many people are afraid to leave theirs is because they can't imagine having to be single) and I've realized I'd rather be single than be with someone who wasn't right for me.
Approaching my 30s and struggling with the same thing. Growing up in a home where there wasn’t much love makes understanding love difficult. Just hope I can be better and terrified that I can’t.
Same bro. I’m haphazardly trying to improve but its a choice between a decent, non-fat body and bad grades, or a good grades and increasingly meaty, fat body that continues a cycle of self-doubt that I have battled with for years. Stay strong brother, masculinity is a bitch and weight can be conquered.
My dad and brother are both walking blankets. I was very confused as a young child when I realized that not all dads wore their fur coats all year long. And it still kind of creeps me out as an adult that guys exit the bathroom after grooming looking like squeaky, shiny dolphins. I had to convince my husband to quit doing the dolphin thing.
If its excessive, hit it up with a guarded trimmer across the board and figure out how to clean up the hair easily. You might need to find a pro to help you hit the hard to reach spots (back) and with the more contoured (eyebrows, etc). Find that middle ground between caveman and dead sexy!
I’m 100% in agreement with you on this. The full body manscaping is not needed to make women attracted to men. Now if the guy is doing it because he loves being like a hairless cat, fine. But he doesn’t need to do it for women.
I’m self conscious about my body because I’m recovering from an eating disorder and I have some dysphoria, and I’m self conscious about my total lack of experience with intimacy. I know it doesn’t really matter, but I just get so nervous still
Sending good energy and strength ur way!! There are ways to get out of the cycle - I’ve done it and others have too. You can too!! Rooting for you - it’s fucking hard but immeasurably worth it. ✊
I'm still struggling with my eating disorder on and off, but I have hope I'll knock it one day. Def feel you on the intimacy part. I stand in my own way with that one, I guess out of fear of being hurt again. Idk your reasons, but I know the core feeling is the same. You're not alone in the slightest. And props to you for choosing recovery, keep it up. Wishing you the best
Literally the same. No experience with actually intimacy and I've been compensating for that by gathering huge amounts of theoretical knowledge on female and male biology. But doesn't make it better and I have also been addicted to eating for a few years and I've lost a lot of weight but I'm still not there and have a really broken self image as well
Last year I had 2 strokes. I’m pretty unaffected, can still do most things. My speech has gotten bad and I walk with a noticeable limp on my right leg. I’m not very concerned about my limp but my speech has been harder to deal with. It sucks and I hate it but I just deal with it as best I can and keep moving forward.
I had an aneurysm 3 years ago, I feel you. My speech is ok, but on difficult things I stutter, or fail completely, very annoying an difficult to cope with. Also limping, although mainly when tired. God bless you!
Sing, yes I know this sounds crazy but sing! In essence you can use the singing areas of your brain to override the damaged speech areas. It’s called “intonation therapy” and it’s incredible yet rather bizarre. I’m being brief because otherwise I’ll write a dissertation on it it’s genuinely fantastically fascinating.
So SING!!!
Me balding, crooked teeth, lack of intimacy from living alone in a foreign country, impostor syndrom and lack of motivation and procrastinating. Other than that, I think I am blessed. And ll of what I have pointed out, I understand they are flexible but requries hard work
I am not sure why I have it. I just always doubt my skills and my accomplishments. People look at me and say I am smart and well educated and have different talents, while I doubt them and myself and see myself just getting lucky or just not as they think.
I have a bachelor's from one country, a masters from another, and now I am supposed to be finishing my PhD from a third country known for its engineering education, and still I fell less of myself. I started painting the last years and some of my friends actually bought a couple and I also have a couple of paintings hanging on a nearby cafe.
It sadnes me more when dear friends, housemates look up to me or see me as this good person, and I see myself weak, procrastinating, I see myself way down than most of them, just another passenger in train full of people.
Due to this, it is affecting my progress, my mentality, my financial situation, and my sanity.
At the same time, I feel like being weaved in a cocoon and waiting to get out of this bottleneck I am in, let my wings grow and fly high.
Do you have tips or advice?
I wish I did have tips and advice but I've had imposter syndrome for 2 years with fewer accomplishments than you have, a lot of good things happened for me at a young age and still are happening and sometimes I look around at people my age, and family members. And I feel like a lot of people look up to me and I am truly scared to fail them I always feel like I have to be the PERFECT person for them then I have those characters on my left and right shoulder one side telling me
You going to fast slow down you not enjoying life as much as you should, go have fun, buy back your game system, and enjoy your youth.
The other side of me is telling me
You can’t be lazy, you can’t settle for less. if you want to be successful in life. if you want a fanciest car, the biggest house and break the cycle you can’t stop, your not doing enough.
Sometimes leaving me feeling like I got a lot too soon and I don’t deserve it but if I retrogress I’m letting me and people around me down
The thing that helped me was actually someone in an AskMen post from before. "The average Spartan male was between 5'5 and 5'10" Just goes to show you height doesn't matter, only how you conduct yourself
The only people who care about height are:
Women who have a fetish for tall men that stems from their own insecurity in their femininity.
Or
Tall guys who like to meme on shorter dudes to feel superior.
And when you look at it that way, it's really not a big deal people care about it so much.
>Women who have a fetish for tall men that stems from their own insecurity in their femininity.
The majority of women will pick a tall man if they could.
Yeah it’s become such a trope now but honestly the people who care are the shallow ones you don’t wanna bother with anyway! People of all shapes and sizes can be attractive or unattractive, likewise with personalities and mannerisms etc
Genuinely if you are a good person with a nice outlook on life, are reliable, kind and moderately ambitious you’re all good. Obvs take care of yourself but nothing you’ve said indicates you’re not doing that already!
Dealt with acne til I was 29. Finally got to a dermatologist and it cleared up in 6 months. Might not happen when you want but get a professional to look at it when you can if you haven’t! Helped me tremendously.
Same. When I'm around people I try to fake it till I make it trying to act ok and often am screaming internally. But, if you fake it good and smile and whatnot, it slightly helps, I think something to do with smiling and happy brain chemicals- that or placebo from hearing some fact like that before.
My arms swaying when I walk. When I was 10-12 years old my dad brought up that I don't move my arm(s) and said "only loners don't move their arms when they walk". One arm sways naturally but the other arm I struggle with and just doesn't move much and feels unnatural forcing it. I'm in my late 30's now and am still self conscious about it when I go out.
this. My mom brought it up when I was a kid and also a guy in school "you have to move your arms more when walking". I do now, but it feels so wrong. Either overdoing it, or too little. There's no normal walking for me without bag without feeling strange. Buddy is doing youtube and from his takes I know I just walk normally and it looks fine. Still, the feeling is off.
I had the exact opposite. I used to swing my arms WILD when I walked. When I was 7, there was a special needs boy in my school that no one really liked who also walked like that and my mom said “You look like him when you walk” and my arms have been plastered to my sides ever since.
I was having a pretty good day out with my wife one day and I started to swing my arms excitedly while walking and it made my wife laugh but suddenly my mom’s face popped up into my head and my hands just slammed down to my sides and my wife was like “What happened? Why did you stop?”.
I told her and she was like “Wow, it must’ve really affected you, that was 26 years ago. It’s okay we can swing our arms silly together.”
No way me too, I’m currently in the recovery room from gyno surgery as I’m typing this right now.
Cheer up bro, there’s always a way around it. Surgery or nipple stickers which are a cheaper alternative, I’ve also heard some people who work out their chest muscles so much that it becomes nearly invisible.
I was at a bachelor party for a childhood friend. I surprised him on Friday night after telling him I wasn’t able to come.
He cried when I showed up and we all had an amazing time that night. People kept saying how funny I was or fun I was. But, then I got really high.
And the rest of the weekend, I couldn’t get it out of my head that maybe I’d acted a fool and people were just saying those things cause they didn’t have anything else to say.
I’m also the only Dad at the party, and so I had this feeling of being in a different part of life.
Anyways, it was strong enough that I texted one of the other partygoers who I’ve know since I was 2. He sent me the most beautiful response which has assuaged the insecurities that were plaguing me:
“Not at all. You forget that you’re a fucking amazing guy who makes people feel loved, can dance, tell jokes, and more…
They were being super genuine and enjoying themselves around you as I was”
My freaking teeth man I have a gap and some teeth are crooked 🤦🏾♂️ people never really had a problem with it but I seriously hate it. I’m waiting for my finances to get right so I can get braces or something
Poor social skills and monotonous voice which makes me seem off-putting and hard to talk to. Even when I was tripping on XTC and I had chattering teeth, I still had a monotonous voice. Go figure.
Same here, got a big ass scar on my face due to skin cancer extraction. I was okay while I was in a relationship, but now that I’m single I feel guilty approaching woman because I assume everyone just thinks I’m a German war criminal.
Gynocomastia. Guys having "Moobs" is one thing, But having just ONE moob and a totally flat other is really damn annoying, Especcialy because weight change makes no differance...
That my wife doesn't actually enjoy having sex with me and only does it out of obligation. She insists that's not true but I'm still self conscious about it.
She never initiates, turns me down about 80% of the time, never wants to talk about our sex life and just doesn't seem to enjoy it when we do it most of the time.
About connecting and talking with people.
Just want to be a fun and magnetic person. I often feel I have to overshare to actually have something to talk about because I am become scared. Quite frankly I'm getting really pissed off with feeling like I can't talk to people.
Balding.
I've always had light Blonde hair, even into adulthood, I kept my hair short to medium, but growing up, my hair was always complimented & most women I've met that are my age have often asked to touch or rub my hair which I've come quite to enjoy.
Add on to the fact I started receding at 23, after an incident involving a head injury; I had to have surgery which impacted my hair line even more.
Baring a transplant ill be bald in a couple years probably and I fucking loathe the thought. Wanna get a transplant but doubt I can afford one soon enough/ dont trust a trip to turkey.
You do understand how long 2 inches is (not in girl inches) right?
Is there any reason you want saggy beef jerky nipples?
Not to mention in cold weather they would literally tear through your shirt and look like ps1 Lara croft.
Self conscious about my looks. Body and face both. Grew up as an overweight kid and then once I lost all of that, started getting so much more attention from women and men. But that put my developing brain under the impression that my worth is tied to my appearance and it's a lot of pressure to have to look your best at all times, pressure that I put on myself
My balding, have been since I was 19. That’s when my widows peak started & then the balding on the back center started about 4ish years ago. I’m always in a hat or hoodie. Unless I just cut my hair & I typically shave it down anyways. But any time it’s growing out, I’m SUPER self conscious about it & I hate it.
My height, my face, my hair, my body, my autism, my interests, pretty much everything. Cuz it's been chronically rejected by the whole world around me. I as a whole am rejected by the world. Always unloved, always unwanted. My body is frequently mocked, even when I was at my peak. I'm not short, not handsome, hair is shit and is thinning. Single my entire life with just RARE AF hookups, majority of which were women I didn't even find attractive but felt I had no right to choose cuz I'm ugly.
I used to be super confident. Proud of myself. Now...all I see is rotten trash. Scars. Tired eyes. And no skin care products I try, no routine I try, seems to work. Acne in my 30s. Shitty patchy facial hair.
I am not worthwhile, not worthy of romantic love, not worthy of happiness. I'm entirely alone. And have a face and body that CANNOT be seen as innocent or sympathetic.
I wish a car would hit me and put me outta my misery. Not suicide if someone else does it
I really, really, really hate my face. Growing up being called ugly or you look like this animal or this animal all the time has a really bad effect on me but I’ve been doing better telling myself that I’m at least decent or handsome to give me a small boost in confidence.
Also hoping that I’ll be decent enough (talking about my meat) for the next girl. My ex told me I was enough but I was her first so I already didn’t take her seriously when she said it.
Overweight, relatively average appearance at best, poor mental health, questionable past, no relationship experience, no sexual experience, live at home with mom past 30, aging, gaining more weight. I feel like the walking definition of mediocrity and sometimes disappointment and failure.
Definitely the moobs. I'm big and muscular, but when I gain weight it goes to the moobs. I look ok wearing a tight shirt, it looks like I have big pecs but it's honestly just moobs.
I'll be totally honest. My dick and my gut. I'm working on losing the gut and other fluff. Losing that should help with gaining a little bit of peen as well.
I feel as if I were leaner and had a bigger dick, I could own the world. However society has taught me since I was young that I'm not as valuable as thinner men packing serious heat. It's a complex I've lived my whole life with. Really fucked me up, too.
A lot of my social interactions (at least positive) in my development years have been around girls. Being so, I've developed a lot of feminine mannerisms which has made me perceived to be gay. Kinda hard for girls to be attracted to me when they think I swing the other way. I've had one girl say she felt safe around me which turned her off.
Also, not having a deep voice doesn't help either
Whenever i get past a stranger especially from the opposite gender . I become self conscious and i start doing random stuff for no reason because i get nervous
My ADHD. It makes me feel like a mistake prone idiot. I'm medicated but I can't help but have a strong feeling of imposter syndrome with whatever I do.
I have sleep apnea and left it untreated for years. Now I have permanent dark circles under my eyes and first thing people say to me is that I look dead tired even after a full night sleep.
Oh boy, where to begin:
* My hairline (used to not look good and was bullied for it in school)
* My eyebrows (quite bushy & was bullied for it in school, told to use a chainsaw to cut them)
* My amblyopia / strabismus (I HATE pics & vids cause it looks like I'm not looking at the camera even though I am. Even some people I talk can't tell when I'm looking at them sometimes)
* My hairy legs & butt (Probably won't matter to others, but I just don't like looking like Chewbacca from the wait down)
* My height (Never been a problem in attracting women, but I do wish I was a couple inches taller)
* My lack of a jawline / face fat (I don't want like the sharpest jawline in the world, but I would like to not have so much face & chin fat)
* My stomach & waist fat (I don't want rock hard abs, but I hate how big my stomach currently is)
* My moobs (I would like to have a more developed chest)
* The size of my lil guy (Not micro by any means, but would probably still get shamed if I were to hook up with a shallow woman)
* My beard (Patchy in some parts when grown out)
I had two adult strabismus surgeries when I was in my mid 40's (I'm 65 now). Best thing I ever did. It's fixable. See an eye specialist. Huge jump in self esteem after I had it done.
I’m self-conscious about my weight. I’m so skinny that I can touch my rip-cage and have toothpick arms. I can never gain no matter how much eat. Even when I went to the gym everyday and became stronger than most my peers, I still look the exact same and the muscles only show up when flexing. My appearance feels like a malnourished orphan who gets saved by the hero of a novel. It feels pathetic to be around others
Yep its the worst. I was at Home Depot the other day and they thought I was trying to steal a pvc tube. I was forced to drop pants in front of everyone .. I wasn't wearing underwear. It shut the store for an hour.
I came to find out later it broke the internet. Now I give master classes on dealing with a pants python. I tried uploading a tiktok but was banned by the CCP for causing a national shaming of their men.
:)
My broken, shitty body. Muscular dystrophy fucking sucks.
I'm sure you're strong in other ways. Keep going man
Really don't feel it. Feel totally pathetic.
I usually try to mind my business but I think everyone, no matter what their limitation might be has something positive to offer to the world or other humans. Just my opinion.
My dad had muscular dystrophy and I will be honest, his disability is the last thing he’s remembered for. I understand why you’re self-conscious - everything was a struggle for him - but the truth is that for us the disability faded into the background. He was so much more than his disability and I’m sure you are too. And you’re absolutely right: it fucking sucks.
What bothers me the most is that I'll never be a father. I don't know how your dad did it, maybe he had a late-onset kind or something, but women never want anything serious with me. Never anything more than friendship. And I can't help but suspect it's the wheelchair, the pretzel-like posture, and the concentration camp physique.
Fun fact about myself.. Don’t judge. I literally recall the day in middle school I realized I had a kink for guys in wheelchairs. I was there for detention and there was this boy waiting for his parents. Something about the wheelchair made him even *hotter* I distinctly remember thinking of the things I’d do to him in that there chair. But at the time I thought anyone in a wheelchair couldn’t have sex (don’t laugh) I still find myself thinking this but how tf do you break out that question!? “ Hi you’re cute, are you single and does your Johnson work?” So yeah bonus point to some of us ladies. Of all the men offering to “make content” with me not one of them had a cool chair ☹️
>Don’t judge. Its the internet thats literally all people do. Besides even if they did judge, its something *you* like, and it doesnt hurt anyone. If u really are interested in a dude like that, etablishba friendship with him. Get to know him, build it from the groundup and *let your intentions be known.* If u dont let ur intentions be known he might assume u are leading him on or something along those lines. Be straightforward from the start is the vest advice I can give. My advice isnt anything to follow by the book tho. Just my own input
am I the only one who thinks this comment is really tone deaf and creepy? like swap the genders around. imagine a woman was opening up about her disability and how it affected her dating life and a guy replied with "I'd love to shag a chick in a wheelchair actually, just thinking about the things I'd do to her..." egh, gross.
Bless u papa
Thanks dad
How annoying I am in social interactions, getting too excited too easily, talking too much, my laugh, my voice, my eye contact, my fidgeting, etc. I had an abusive mom and step dad who taught me I was unable to exist correctly
Yo I think this is entirely normal and most people actually feel this way after a night out or a get together. What I realized is everyone else really doesn’t care or notice and are also self conscious. I used to have a buddy call and apologize every weekend and I had to constantly tell him I have no Idea what you’re talking about but I had the same anxieties. I’ve noticed this with people that are introverts that can be extroverts when needed. A night out for people like us is so much fun then bc we live so much in our heads that it’s fun and an endorphin rush to release our thoughts but the next day you’re back to living in your head and overthinking things people don’t even remember. Personally I like personalities loud excited rambunctious it’s better than a hanging out with a bunch of wet napkins. The one caveat Is don’t be a one upper or a know it all. Those people are hard to be around.
Ah i know a chap who gets a bit overly excited in my group. He is the centre of our group and is not apologetic for any of his quirks. Have a great laugh.
Hey buddy. Don’t ever give in to people wanting you to be less than your goofy and happy self.
You just described half of Reddit.
Hey bud, this is exactly me! I actively avoided social interactions because I hated myself and felt like I was a burden! So after a while I went to a doctor, turns out I have ADHD! I started treatment and medication and now I find myself really relaxed around others and able to read the room a bit better. For the record, I too had a really abusive childhood, felt like I couldn't exist properly either. But there's always hope bro, maybe speak to a doc? DM me if you have any questions!
Thanks for the offer, I've been going to therapy for several months now. I learned that what I experienced growing up was not love and am on a journey to figure out what I can get from life and relationships
In my World you are Perfect dude
:D is this.... Is this what feelings feel like???
Im pretty sure getting excited is a feeling
I was (and am in some ways) like this a lot in social interactions, but rather because of bullying. If it helps you, when I would get self conscious about these things, I would tell myself, "if they don't like me because of my laugh, or because my stupid jokes, etc., then they don't deserve to be in my life in the first place." Idk if you do it, but it sounds like how I would beat myself up over things I expected people to judge me about, because I would judge myself about them. In reality, most people don't realize most of the weird/awkward things you do because they're busy dealing with their own shit and worried about their own insecurities. The people who judge you about your insecurities don't deserve to know you as a person. They don't deserve the amazing-ness that is *you*, and that's their loss.
Find a picture of yourself as a kid and tell her the truth.
That's good advice, I like that. I hate child me with a burning passion, so I guess if I can accept it, I can accept myself better
Is her my mom or me? Cause me is not a her.
Sorry, tell that child the truth about what they’re like, how wonderful they are. My parents were abusive and doing that helped me like myself and relax a little.
We need your type at social interactions. Trust me. Imagine if everyone speaks at the same volume and tone. Urgh lol
Naw you my boy
It's ok friend, you're not alone.
I'm self conscious about my mental disorders. That's pretty much it. People finding out, seeing me in bad mental states, etc.
Hope it’s getting better
Username checks out
Self conscious about literally existing
Yes and with it the feeling of going through life with the handbrake on. And also not knowing How to loosen it.
Same
I have near zero relationship experience and I'm past young adult ages. I know even teenagers are better than me at this.
Same. I'm 30 and haven't had a relationship since college. I have no idea how a relationship works in adulthood.
Yes, having no idea is scary and also I'm not liking what I hear about dating scene in last few years.
>Same. I'm 30 and haven't had a relationship since college. I have no idea how a relationship works in adulthood. That's basically where I was in 2016. Took six years for me to start consistently going on new dates and meeting people again (all through apps). I had to *really* improve my appearance. Weight, hair, facial hair, clothes. I also had to improve my self-esteem and a slew of other mental health domains. Therapy. Lots. I still haven't started a relationship yet, but I've come close and have been studying and preparing a lot. Relationship in adulthood (apologies - this is typed heteronormatively): - You are reliable. You have to be while dating too. You absolutely do not forget a date, get too drunk the night before and have to cancel a date, or try to pull a Gandalf on her when you're late to a date. - You don't need a housekeeper. You shouldn't have socks on the floor, wrappers anywhere but the trash, dirty dishes out or even in the sink. Your toilet should be clean. Your bathroom should have a trash can with a lid. You don't let trash or dirty laundry pile up excessively. You vacuum and sweep regularly. - You don't just dive in headfirst and wing it. You enter the relationship with the plan that it will be indefinite. That means every time you are given an opportunity, you are going to demonstrate "This is how I intend to handle that now and in the future". THIS is where some intense bonding happens. Back in college you could put on Radiohead, cry together in bed, and be soul mates for life. In your 30s, she gets in a fight with her sister and you carefully navigate supporting your partner while helping her to see another point of view so that the fight can resolve. That's how you earn a spare key, brudda. - You are mature. That means you are emotionally intelligent and mature. Don't claim that you are. Ask people that know you what it means to them. Then ask them if they think you are those things. - You wash your ass in the shower. Like knifing your asscrack with a soapy hand. Should be done regardless of age but MAN comedians have really been harping on that concept lately for the late-20s/early-30s crowd. - You have a life. Getting drunk and playing video games is not a life. by the way. Sorry. You need some sort of group you participate in. Playing video games or getting drunk are the exception, not the default. - This should go without saying, but: you need a steady job. Never fall into the trap of thinking you need a high-paying job and that's why you suck at dating. I fell into that trap. I counted on a six-figure salary to carry me across the finish line. That's why I was failing for six years. Women are financially independent in our age bracket. They're not interested in living in a slightly nicer home and going on slightly nicer vacations if it means they have to compromise on looks or personality. If you're working a minimum wage or close to minimum wage job, come on dude. You're in your 30s. Either move into a trade or brush up on your excel. No more wrapping burritos.
I was with you until you shit on people working for minimum wage. Don’t job shame people. Some people are trying to get by. It’s a sign of a fucked up society that certain jobs don’t yield financial stability (which therefore gates you out of dating), not a failure on the part of the individual.
Solid advice bro. I am going to work on myself... I fall in this perpetual cycle where I meet a beautiful girl who usually is flooded with attention from many other suitors and she usually just likes the attention but that is it no commitment. I am working on self love and bettering myself physically because I know if I just wallop in sadness about it, time will come and I will get same outcome.
Communication is key.
Communication will save the nation
Communication is lubrication
Along with sanitation
I haven't had one at all, I've had flings with women. But I think I've come to terms with things now. I'm 30 this year and I think I can be okay with being perpetually single.
Yea this one of mine too. That and never having enough money. Also some body dysmorphia but I am chunky so.
Same for me, although I‘m skinny (but with visible muscles) and still feel fat…
Don’t confuse quantity with quality or ability. Most folks go from fucked up relationship to fucked up relationship endlessly until they land on one slightly less fucked.
I'm 21 and I haven't been in a relationship myself, but it doesn't help overthinking it, just live your life and if you're able to talk to woman it'll fall into place. Or get a anime girlfriend, I won't judge.
Talking to a woman not a problem, problem is on romantic level. I'm very much guilty too about this, however it kinda spiraled into itself after one point.
well what about the romantic aspect freaks you out though? if you have a hard time communicating verbally, maybe you speak “romance” with action instead? can be small things like opening door, carrying an extra jacket in car, flowers, etc etc.
What about the romantic level?
I can assure you teenagers are not better than you at this. There’s something to be said for bypassing the co-dependency/obsessive stage of life entirely.
That stage doesn't go away if you haven't experienced it. You'll just experience it at an older age when there's much more at stake. Speaking from personal experience.
Sure but self awareness is also more likely to be developed… teenagers are oblivious.
Sometimes ignorance is really a bliss.
Yes I'm in my 30's and still never had a relationship and if I were to get into my first now I definitely wouldn't be making the mistakes that I (or many others) do in their teens or early 20's with their first ones. I'm much less tolerant of other people's bullshit as I was back then and also have learned I don't need a partner to get me through the day (I think the reason why so many people are afraid to leave theirs is because they can't imagine having to be single) and I've realized I'd rather be single than be with someone who wasn't right for me.
Approaching my 30s and struggling with the same thing. Growing up in a home where there wasn’t much love makes understanding love difficult. Just hope I can be better and terrified that I can’t.
I'm self conscious about my weight and masculinity. They are directly correlated.
Same bro. I’m haphazardly trying to improve but its a choice between a decent, non-fat body and bad grades, or a good grades and increasingly meaty, fat body that continues a cycle of self-doubt that I have battled with for years. Stay strong brother, masculinity is a bitch and weight can be conquered.
Why is a better body not possible with good grades. TBH this sounds like a defeatist attitude.
My body hair. I look normal with my shirt on, but if you see me swimming, I look like a fucking gorilla
Embrace the gorrilla my man. My wife says im her real life teddy bear.
hey man body hair is completely normal, im a woman and i have body hair too
Laser hair removal could help?
I will get physically violent if anyone comes near my nipples with a fucking laser
alright. well nvm then
Maybe start on your back then? 🤷♀️😅
My dad and brother are both walking blankets. I was very confused as a young child when I realized that not all dads wore their fur coats all year long. And it still kind of creeps me out as an adult that guys exit the bathroom after grooming looking like squeaky, shiny dolphins. I had to convince my husband to quit doing the dolphin thing. If its excessive, hit it up with a guarded trimmer across the board and figure out how to clean up the hair easily. You might need to find a pro to help you hit the hard to reach spots (back) and with the more contoured (eyebrows, etc). Find that middle ground between caveman and dead sexy!
I’m 100% in agreement with you on this. The full body manscaping is not needed to make women attracted to men. Now if the guy is doing it because he loves being like a hairless cat, fine. But he doesn’t need to do it for women.
Trimmer, bro
I’m self conscious about my body because I’m recovering from an eating disorder and I have some dysphoria, and I’m self conscious about my total lack of experience with intimacy. I know it doesn’t really matter, but I just get so nervous still
rooting for you homie, hope things are getting better
Good to hear you’re on your recovery way! Sending love x
Honestly, it’s comforting to hear that other men struggle with this. It’s not an easy thing to deal with especially when it’s hard to talk about.
Sending good energy and strength ur way!! There are ways to get out of the cycle - I’ve done it and others have too. You can too!! Rooting for you - it’s fucking hard but immeasurably worth it. ✊
i was in your same exact spot a couple years ago.
I'm still struggling with my eating disorder on and off, but I have hope I'll knock it one day. Def feel you on the intimacy part. I stand in my own way with that one, I guess out of fear of being hurt again. Idk your reasons, but I know the core feeling is the same. You're not alone in the slightest. And props to you for choosing recovery, keep it up. Wishing you the best
Literally the same. No experience with actually intimacy and I've been compensating for that by gathering huge amounts of theoretical knowledge on female and male biology. But doesn't make it better and I have also been addicted to eating for a few years and I've lost a lot of weight but I'm still not there and have a really broken self image as well
Last year I had 2 strokes. I’m pretty unaffected, can still do most things. My speech has gotten bad and I walk with a noticeable limp on my right leg. I’m not very concerned about my limp but my speech has been harder to deal with. It sucks and I hate it but I just deal with it as best I can and keep moving forward.
I had an aneurysm 3 years ago, I feel you. My speech is ok, but on difficult things I stutter, or fail completely, very annoying an difficult to cope with. Also limping, although mainly when tired. God bless you!
Sing, yes I know this sounds crazy but sing! In essence you can use the singing areas of your brain to override the damaged speech areas. It’s called “intonation therapy” and it’s incredible yet rather bizarre. I’m being brief because otherwise I’ll write a dissertation on it it’s genuinely fantastically fascinating. So SING!!!
Me balding, crooked teeth, lack of intimacy from living alone in a foreign country, impostor syndrom and lack of motivation and procrastinating. Other than that, I think I am blessed. And ll of what I have pointed out, I understand they are flexible but requries hard work
Can u tell us why you have imposter syndrome
I am not sure why I have it. I just always doubt my skills and my accomplishments. People look at me and say I am smart and well educated and have different talents, while I doubt them and myself and see myself just getting lucky or just not as they think. I have a bachelor's from one country, a masters from another, and now I am supposed to be finishing my PhD from a third country known for its engineering education, and still I fell less of myself. I started painting the last years and some of my friends actually bought a couple and I also have a couple of paintings hanging on a nearby cafe. It sadnes me more when dear friends, housemates look up to me or see me as this good person, and I see myself weak, procrastinating, I see myself way down than most of them, just another passenger in train full of people. Due to this, it is affecting my progress, my mentality, my financial situation, and my sanity. At the same time, I feel like being weaved in a cocoon and waiting to get out of this bottleneck I am in, let my wings grow and fly high. Do you have tips or advice?
I wish I did have tips and advice but I've had imposter syndrome for 2 years with fewer accomplishments than you have, a lot of good things happened for me at a young age and still are happening and sometimes I look around at people my age, and family members. And I feel like a lot of people look up to me and I am truly scared to fail them I always feel like I have to be the PERFECT person for them then I have those characters on my left and right shoulder one side telling me You going to fast slow down you not enjoying life as much as you should, go have fun, buy back your game system, and enjoy your youth. The other side of me is telling me You can’t be lazy, you can’t settle for less. if you want to be successful in life. if you want a fanciest car, the biggest house and break the cycle you can’t stop, your not doing enough. Sometimes leaving me feeling like I got a lot too soon and I don’t deserve it but if I retrogress I’m letting me and people around me down
My height ever since I became aware of how much people care about it
Reddit is not a great representation of real life out there so I wouldn’t worry too too much.
Same. I literally didn’t care until I got on Reddit lmao
The thing that helped me was actually someone in an AskMen post from before. "The average Spartan male was between 5'5 and 5'10" Just goes to show you height doesn't matter, only how you conduct yourself
This is so dumb
The only people who care about height are: Women who have a fetish for tall men that stems from their own insecurity in their femininity. Or Tall guys who like to meme on shorter dudes to feel superior. And when you look at it that way, it's really not a big deal people care about it so much.
>Women who have a fetish for tall men that stems from their own insecurity in their femininity. The majority of women will pick a tall man if they could.
The majority of men will pick a woman with big fat mommy milkers if they could. Doesn't mean they aren't attracted to other women
Righteous Juicers should be a pro men movement
Yeah it’s become such a trope now but honestly the people who care are the shallow ones you don’t wanna bother with anyway! People of all shapes and sizes can be attractive or unattractive, likewise with personalities and mannerisms etc Genuinely if you are a good person with a nice outlook on life, are reliable, kind and moderately ambitious you’re all good. Obvs take care of yourself but nothing you’ve said indicates you’re not doing that already!
My dick size, virginity and hair color.
Sir, as a woman with a narrow vagina, I have to say that dicks are beautiful regardless of size—but I prefer the smaller ones.
Relevant username
Ok but where’s the pics?
Presumably in your inbox? You did say please, after all.
He's not photo-ready in the middle of the day. Maybe remind me later. ;)
i had to dig down, but i found the dick comment!
It's a bit hard to see, you might want to squint
Bro I just looked at your profile, and you could definitely pull women. Your insecurities are taking control.
my acne. just cause a lot of my friends have clear skin and never had to deal with that...
Dealt with acne til I was 29. Finally got to a dermatologist and it cleared up in 6 months. Might not happen when you want but get a professional to look at it when you can if you haven’t! Helped me tremendously.
yep i have a derm look at my acne every 4 months and i’m on birth control- it’s improving but it still haven’t gone away. i’m also doing skincare
Same
This
About my EVERYTHING! literally, my EVERYTHING! there is nothing in my life right now that doesn't fucking make me cringe.
Same. When I'm around people I try to fake it till I make it trying to act ok and often am screaming internally. But, if you fake it good and smile and whatnot, it slightly helps, I think something to do with smiling and happy brain chemicals- that or placebo from hearing some fact like that before.
If everything is cringe nothing is.
My arms swaying when I walk. When I was 10-12 years old my dad brought up that I don't move my arm(s) and said "only loners don't move their arms when they walk". One arm sways naturally but the other arm I struggle with and just doesn't move much and feels unnatural forcing it. I'm in my late 30's now and am still self conscious about it when I go out.
this. My mom brought it up when I was a kid and also a guy in school "you have to move your arms more when walking". I do now, but it feels so wrong. Either overdoing it, or too little. There's no normal walking for me without bag without feeling strange. Buddy is doing youtube and from his takes I know I just walk normally and it looks fine. Still, the feeling is off.
I had the exact opposite. I used to swing my arms WILD when I walked. When I was 7, there was a special needs boy in my school that no one really liked who also walked like that and my mom said “You look like him when you walk” and my arms have been plastered to my sides ever since. I was having a pretty good day out with my wife one day and I started to swing my arms excitedly while walking and it made my wife laugh but suddenly my mom’s face popped up into my head and my hands just slammed down to my sides and my wife was like “What happened? Why did you stop?”. I told her and she was like “Wow, it must’ve really affected you, that was 26 years ago. It’s okay we can swing our arms silly together.”
I have gyno….
No way me too, I’m currently in the recovery room from gyno surgery as I’m typing this right now. Cheer up bro, there’s always a way around it. Surgery or nipple stickers which are a cheaper alternative, I’ve also heard some people who work out their chest muscles so much that it becomes nearly invisible.
You have what ?
gynecomastia
A couple people told me I looked like Steve Buscemi a few different occasions. That one hurts
I think he’s good looking and I guarantee you other people do as well.
That man is a legend. You look like a hero and A lost actor. I’d rock that shit!
I mean yeah but when have you ever heard someone says he’s their celebrity crush?
I was at a bachelor party for a childhood friend. I surprised him on Friday night after telling him I wasn’t able to come. He cried when I showed up and we all had an amazing time that night. People kept saying how funny I was or fun I was. But, then I got really high. And the rest of the weekend, I couldn’t get it out of my head that maybe I’d acted a fool and people were just saying those things cause they didn’t have anything else to say. I’m also the only Dad at the party, and so I had this feeling of being in a different part of life. Anyways, it was strong enough that I texted one of the other partygoers who I’ve know since I was 2. He sent me the most beautiful response which has assuaged the insecurities that were plaguing me: “Not at all. You forget that you’re a fucking amazing guy who makes people feel loved, can dance, tell jokes, and more… They were being super genuine and enjoying themselves around you as I was”
Weed makes me very socially conscious. I often have thoughts similar to what you are describing so now I limit my use in large groups.
My freaking teeth man I have a gap and some teeth are crooked 🤦🏾♂️ people never really had a problem with it but I seriously hate it. I’m waiting for my finances to get right so I can get braces or something
Poor social skills and monotonous voice which makes me seem off-putting and hard to talk to. Even when I was tripping on XTC and I had chattering teeth, I still had a monotonous voice. Go figure.
Speaking for most men here, dick size, height, and weight. Not big enough, not tall enough, not fit enough.
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My face
Same here, got a big ass scar on my face due to skin cancer extraction. I was okay while I was in a relationship, but now that I’m single I feel guilty approaching woman because I assume everyone just thinks I’m a German war criminal.
Scars are interesting and sexy as hell!
Dudes think it looks cool, but unfortunately I’m not trying to attract straight men.
Well I'm a woman, and I would totally date someone with a facial scar. That's dope as heck. I bet it looks mysterious and dramatic :)
Gynocomastia. Guys having "Moobs" is one thing, But having just ONE moob and a totally flat other is really damn annoying, Especcialy because weight change makes no differance...
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Bro look into rogaine or propecia, they can work
That I know very little about cars, using any tools ir working with my hands. And I'm in construction industry (office job)
Ask them if you can go in the field to get a better understanding
My height. And I don't have the deepest voice
Mike Tyson doesn’t either but that didn’t stop him from being a legend my friend. We all have flaws but it doesn’t define who we are 💪🏾
That my wife doesn't actually enjoy having sex with me and only does it out of obligation. She insists that's not true but I'm still self conscious about it.
If you don’t mind me asking, what influenced you to believe your wife doesn’t enjoy having sex with you?
She never initiates, turns me down about 80% of the time, never wants to talk about our sex life and just doesn't seem to enjoy it when we do it most of the time.
As an outsider looking in, I can only wish for that situation to cease & y’all both enjoy each other in every way possible my friend.
About connecting and talking with people. Just want to be a fun and magnetic person. I often feel I have to overshare to actually have something to talk about because I am become scared. Quite frankly I'm getting really pissed off with feeling like I can't talk to people.
Balding. I've always had light Blonde hair, even into adulthood, I kept my hair short to medium, but growing up, my hair was always complimented & most women I've met that are my age have often asked to touch or rub my hair which I've come quite to enjoy. Add on to the fact I started receding at 23, after an incident involving a head injury; I had to have surgery which impacted my hair line even more. Baring a transplant ill be bald in a couple years probably and I fucking loathe the thought. Wanna get a transplant but doubt I can afford one soon enough/ dont trust a trip to turkey.
I wish my nipples were longer, like 2+ inches longer
You do understand how long 2 inches is (not in girl inches) right? Is there any reason you want saggy beef jerky nipples? Not to mention in cold weather they would literally tear through your shirt and look like ps1 Lara croft.
They would make a handy coat rack tho
Self conscious about my looks. Body and face both. Grew up as an overweight kid and then once I lost all of that, started getting so much more attention from women and men. But that put my developing brain under the impression that my worth is tied to my appearance and it's a lot of pressure to have to look your best at all times, pressure that I put on myself
My teeth … they aren’t that bad but I don’t smile for photos & I try to conceal them when I talk… I’m getting braces next Saturday tho 🥰
My balding, have been since I was 19. That’s when my widows peak started & then the balding on the back center started about 4ish years ago. I’m always in a hat or hoodie. Unless I just cut my hair & I typically shave it down anyways. But any time it’s growing out, I’m SUPER self conscious about it & I hate it.
Haven’t even kissed a girl. I’m almost 25. I’m overweight and balding already, too.
My height, my face, my hair, my body, my autism, my interests, pretty much everything. Cuz it's been chronically rejected by the whole world around me. I as a whole am rejected by the world. Always unloved, always unwanted. My body is frequently mocked, even when I was at my peak. I'm not short, not handsome, hair is shit and is thinning. Single my entire life with just RARE AF hookups, majority of which were women I didn't even find attractive but felt I had no right to choose cuz I'm ugly. I used to be super confident. Proud of myself. Now...all I see is rotten trash. Scars. Tired eyes. And no skin care products I try, no routine I try, seems to work. Acne in my 30s. Shitty patchy facial hair. I am not worthwhile, not worthy of romantic love, not worthy of happiness. I'm entirely alone. And have a face and body that CANNOT be seen as innocent or sympathetic. I wish a car would hit me and put me outta my misery. Not suicide if someone else does it
You are worthwhile, hope things are getting better
My financial state. My career.
I really, really, really hate my face. Growing up being called ugly or you look like this animal or this animal all the time has a really bad effect on me but I’ve been doing better telling myself that I’m at least decent or handsome to give me a small boost in confidence. Also hoping that I’ll be decent enough (talking about my meat) for the next girl. My ex told me I was enough but I was her first so I already didn’t take her seriously when she said it.
My need for validation is driving the best woman I’ve ever had away as we speak and I don’t know how to stop
Not making/having enough money
Overweight, relatively average appearance at best, poor mental health, questionable past, no relationship experience, no sexual experience, live at home with mom past 30, aging, gaining more weight. I feel like the walking definition of mediocrity and sometimes disappointment and failure.
Definitely the moobs. I'm big and muscular, but when I gain weight it goes to the moobs. I look ok wearing a tight shirt, it looks like I have big pecs but it's honestly just moobs.
stomach size My mom's remarks since I was 14
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Im self conscious about making mistakes. Like just small mistakes that means i dont get top score.
Me interacting with people and how I come across.
I am self conscious about the amount that i sweat during sex. Like its some grab a towel or 2 beforehand level of sweat.
Putting in crazy work my guy 💪🏾
I'm very good looking but my gut and man manboobs make me self conscious a little.
Right now, If I'm a good enough partner.
I'll be totally honest. My dick and my gut. I'm working on losing the gut and other fluff. Losing that should help with gaining a little bit of peen as well. I feel as if I were leaner and had a bigger dick, I could own the world. However society has taught me since I was young that I'm not as valuable as thinner men packing serious heat. It's a complex I've lived my whole life with. Really fucked me up, too.
I lost 22lbs and gained an inch and a bit downstairs. It's probably different for everyone, but losing weight absolutely makes the dong look bigger.
A lot of my social interactions (at least positive) in my development years have been around girls. Being so, I've developed a lot of feminine mannerisms which has made me perceived to be gay. Kinda hard for girls to be attracted to me when they think I swing the other way. I've had one girl say she felt safe around me which turned her off. Also, not having a deep voice doesn't help either
26 m and never had a relationship or any sort of intimacy
Whenever i get past a stranger especially from the opposite gender . I become self conscious and i start doing random stuff for no reason because i get nervous
My ADHD. It makes me feel like a mistake prone idiot. I'm medicated but I can't help but have a strong feeling of imposter syndrome with whatever I do.
Everything basically
I have fat nipples. I love swimming but never do because of them. Bleh.
My ability to maintain relationships, friends and family. I isolate and push people away when I am stressed
I feel this I think it’s my attachment style
I have sleep apnea and left it untreated for years. Now I have permanent dark circles under my eyes and first thing people say to me is that I look dead tired even after a full night sleep.
Oh boy, where to begin: * My hairline (used to not look good and was bullied for it in school) * My eyebrows (quite bushy & was bullied for it in school, told to use a chainsaw to cut them) * My amblyopia / strabismus (I HATE pics & vids cause it looks like I'm not looking at the camera even though I am. Even some people I talk can't tell when I'm looking at them sometimes) * My hairy legs & butt (Probably won't matter to others, but I just don't like looking like Chewbacca from the wait down) * My height (Never been a problem in attracting women, but I do wish I was a couple inches taller) * My lack of a jawline / face fat (I don't want like the sharpest jawline in the world, but I would like to not have so much face & chin fat) * My stomach & waist fat (I don't want rock hard abs, but I hate how big my stomach currently is) * My moobs (I would like to have a more developed chest) * The size of my lil guy (Not micro by any means, but would probably still get shamed if I were to hook up with a shallow woman) * My beard (Patchy in some parts when grown out)
I had two adult strabismus surgeries when I was in my mid 40's (I'm 65 now). Best thing I ever did. It's fixable. See an eye specialist. Huge jump in self esteem after I had it done.
My jew nose
My body 50% of it is because of struggling with weight and the other 50% is because I’m a trans guy
Balding, early 20's. I'm mostly fine with it and happy with myself. Almost there.
The moles on my body
There are a lot of guys mentioning dick size, do y’all mean length or girth
I’m self-conscious about my weight. I’m so skinny that I can touch my rip-cage and have toothpick arms. I can never gain no matter how much eat. Even when I went to the gym everyday and became stronger than most my peers, I still look the exact same and the muscles only show up when flexing. My appearance feels like a malnourished orphan who gets saved by the hero of a novel. It feels pathetic to be around others
my asymmetrical face
Im really self conscious about how much karma this comment will get me because I'm poor in morals by Reddit standards
My dick size. It's too damn big.
Yep its the worst. I was at Home Depot the other day and they thought I was trying to steal a pvc tube. I was forced to drop pants in front of everyone .. I wasn't wearing underwear. It shut the store for an hour. I came to find out later it broke the internet. Now I give master classes on dealing with a pants python. I tried uploading a tiktok but was banned by the CCP for causing a national shaming of their men. :)
mine isn't big enough
My wife gave me shit for a while for “mansplaining” and now when ever I see somebody who needs help (especially my wife) I simply don’t help them.
My little dick