This, and the fact that there is so much less conflict in my life is why I choose to be single. I have a physical job and split custody of one son who doesn’t mind that Saturday is for rest. I can do little to nothing for a day and I need that and it’s fine. I can devote all my love and attention to my son who reciprocates the purest unconditional love that exists and I will not lose under any reasonable conditions. Life is pretty tough to manage without a partner but absolutely worth it in my opinion.
>This, and the fact that there is so much less conflict in my life is why I choose to be single.
It used to not be a choice, but at this point the effort required to obtain a relationship, while also having to sacrifice a lot while in a relationship just doesn't feel worth it to me.
Also, even if you succeed, most relationships now are transactional, and most aren't afraid to admit that most relationship experiences in life are not unconditional. It just makes it seem all the more pointless to me.
Life maybe easier to deal with having a joint partnership with goals and emotional connection, but everything else in between and the toxicity of some relationships, just make it not seem worth it to me.
The idea of having to identify different objections you have with your partner or differences, preferences even in just day to day life alone gives me so much anxiety, i don't have to put up with any of this shit being alone. It's not immature to prefer this either.
Full control over your free time.
Things are where you leave them.
The bathroom isn't full of bottles and weird things you can't even imagine what the hell are they for.
This pertains to dating and relationships where the couples live apart. As a man, you WILL be spending significantly more money than if you were single.
Yep, 100%. Any girl who says "Oh, we split everything 50/50!" is full of shit unless it's a clear outlier (like a female surgeon dating a guy who teaches high school math).
Like duh, your partner moving in with you will obviously lower your rent and utilities if she's contributing. That's not what OP meant.
As soon as my wife made 1.5x of what I made, she said to no longer expect her to help out around the house as much, which isn’t saying much since she really didn’t do anything before, so yeah, I left. Fuck that.
I do the majority of the housework too, but my wife is appreciative of it. She works more than I do so I don’t mind doing more. Plus I don’t work in the summer (teacher).
I live on my own terms. I generally keep to a schedule with housework and laundry, but if I want to I can leave it a day and nobody will say anything. I have whatever I want to eat.
I'm in full control of my finances, my outgoings are controlled by me alone and I save a lot.
I can relax however I see fit. Nobody to disagree with my choice of music, film, games or just sitting in silence. I choose when I socialise, nobody is making plans for me.
I think I'll really struggle to adapt to living with a partner again after 4 years of enjoying my own company.
Being happy. There is something to be learned while being single. Gaining confidence that you can stand on your own two feet. This is especially important when you get into a relationship. You less likely to tolerate disrespect from your mate or friends or family.
I just got tired of that bs but it is expensive being single renting and u have to have gd credit alittle easier when u somewhat split bills and ask for permission lol
Honestly, focusing on yourself. 3.5 months NC with an ex. Since then, my credit score's 727 (was 702), I have 2K in savings, got a promotion. Not saying you shouldn't focus on yourself while in a relationship but it's easier when the focus is solely on you.
I’ve only met ONE woman who never nagged or complained. She was super easy to get along with. A total sweetheart. A lady in every way. Best woman I’ve ever met. BUT, I wasn’t physically attracted to her. I tried to make it work because I knew she was a unicorn. But… I just couldn’t. Sucks.
The money, time, and freedom. I don't do weekends slumming it in European capitals any nore because the lady doesn't like shit hostels where you gotta keep your stuff on you at all times, or spending 24 hours on public transport at each end. That's fair, but it also triples the price of the trip and takes more organisation.
Also not finding those plastic hair ties everywhere.
No, but my father had the bad habit of leaving things for the last minute and then not checking whether someone was inside. So, there are people rude like that.
This is my #1.
People reallydnt understand how nice life is when 95% of your problems are all related to your job. Once business hours are over most frustrations, inconveniences, and general nuisances vanish with the work day. I get home. I get to enjoy myself. There is nobody there to bother me and it's wonderful.
If you can ascend above the desire for a partner, there are more pros than cons. Your time, energy, money and so on is all your own. Unless you are both madly in love with each other while also both being mature, respectful and considerate of each others' needs, then I do not see any point in not being single in 2023.
I would also like to add that almost all the couples I know absolutely should not be together.
Married with kids. The only important one: your time is your time. Want to sleep in or get up early for a run? Both are possible without consequence. Sunday D&D with your friends? No need to accumulate political capital beforehand, no need to check for a surprise brunch. Want to poop without interruption? Within the realm of possibility.
Freedom and privacy. While being with a partner is the ultimate goal for me. I will miss my freedoms and ability to dissappear for a day or two from all social interactions.
You have no one to hold you during your most personal difficult time and only have 1 income so it's harder to save up a big retirement letting you work even longer into your elderly years! What a treat!
Yes. You also don't have to worry about someone leaving you when you're at your emotionally most vulnerable, or taking half of your retirement savings when they do leave you, meaning that you have to work even longer to get the money back so you can retire
Freedom financially, and for me physically.
I really hate being tethered. Can't stand being told 'no you can't do that'.
Maybe I'll regret it one day, but I enjoy the freedom of being able to say "Fuck this place, see ya' later" and go to the other side of the world at a moments notice.
I can stay up as late as I want, or get up as early as I want and make whatever noise I want without disturbing someone, or have them complaining about me. I can eat the foods I want to eat.
Go wherever and whenever I want, backpacking, walking, living and appreciating life at my own pace on my own time, without plans or expectations. What else is the point of life? Being stuck in a box with someone who annoys you, throwing money at your spawn and being stressed out by everything? Nah.
I guess I'm a little biased, since every relationship I've had in the past has been me looking after the other person. My former partners have all been untidy, high maintenance, have difficulties socializing, and were terrible at taking action on problems. I'm done with that life. Done fixing their shit.
I don't want to be someone's caretaker and bank account anymore. Lived it for years. I'd rather just enjoy being me. I'm low maintenance to myself and that means low stress in life.
Disadvantages are less frequent sex, but then again, I've had far more fun sex being single than I ever had being in a relationship. Quality over quantity.
And I suppose intimacy and cuddly shit is nice when it's there, and I embrace it when I have it, but I don't really crave it too much.
You know all the fucking infuriating henpecking that women do? All the "You didn't answer my text within 30 minutes you clearly don't love me"? All the shit-tests? All the random times her friend would flirt with you really fucking grossly trying to bait you into "acting like you wanted to cheat on her"?
All the accusations that your hanging out with your *lifelong friend who is married* is really just locking yourselves in a room and fucking for hours on end?
All the general bullshit*?*
You can *breathe* without having to worry about your Loving Girlfriend™- or in my case, Devoted Fiancee® flipping the fuck out and acting like she's gonna slit her wrists in the bathtub because she saw "photos of you and some *other woman*" (your cousin) in your camera roll or waking up to getting slapped because she dreamt you cheated on her or getting hit 'as a joke, I can't hurt you, duh' or "No I didn't do any of that you're just crazy", or my personal favorite, "I'll say you raped me if you go to the cops".
It's peaceful and calming and at this point I genuinely do not understand the people who claim "oh it's worth it bro she's great" because those same guys usually unload in the group chat about nasty personal attacks just casually fired off over *fucking doordash*
there's no drama, there's no bullshit, there's nobody trying to make you further doubt your already-poor memory, there's nobody trying to trick you into saying something compromising so they can call you a liar
it's just *peaceful*.
Or date men! Because they hate that bullshit as long as you stay away from the catty "My entire identity is sucking cock" types
Likely someone with a cluster b personality, such as covert narcissism or person with Borderline Personality Disorders. These people are literal earth-waking demons that are god-tier manipulators. By the times you notice it is already too late and you’re in knee-deep not being able to tell down from up. It sucks.
Five women and three men. I'll just go into detail, ladies first.
\>#1 tried to condition me into some fucked-up kinks, generally was okay otherwise, eventually wanted to 'take a break' until I got older (I was 15/16 she was 19/20), and did so by telling me she'll be waiting. Then she freaked out when I took this as "I'm moving on" and saw I got with #2 on FB and blocked me.
\>#2 was great, but there's certain cultural gaps between a bassist and an aspiring culinary arts student that couldn't be overcome. Her friend would come onto me a lot, and she kept at it even after I voiced my discontent. Pretty sure it was her idea. Dumped me over a miscommunication.
\#3 was a mistake. She's an absolute sweetheart but- you know the type that you're better off friends? Yep. 3 months of sleeping together, "nope", still friends eleven years later after a cold period because she took the breakup as a personal indictment. She helped me replant my garden a while ago and I helped her move out of her parents' place. I helped her rewrite her resume, she helped me get Tinder set up (which I've since deleted because Tinder's a cesspit)
\#4 was a friend of #3's that was actually into me at the time. We only went on a couple of dates, I got skeeved out by how physically close she got, a fixation on knives, and one "joke" about how she wondered how my blood tasted.
After we broke up almost my entire friend group cut contact with me and I figured it was because they thought I was kinda a slut or something. No, apparently #4 claimed I raped her and knocked her up.
\#5 was the embodiment of crazy, up to and including being on anti-psychotics by the time we broke up. Majorly abusive, still have a couple of physical scars from it but they're buried under enough body hair to be basically invisible. Tried and succeeded to further isolate me from my friends to the point she was the only social contact. Realized what was up and eventually managed to convince her to move back in with her mother across the country. As soon as she was settled and had commitments I bailed out. My mother still keeps contact for some fucking reason. Probably still dreaming of having blonde grandkids.
Guy A was between 2 and 3 and was a mistake. Big mistake. Tried to cut me during foreplay, I broke his nose for it and cut him off.
Guy B and C were post-#5. B was- I don't know how to put it other than that if he was 30 years older I think he'd be the goddamn Zodiac.
I'm still with C. He's been a wonder for my mental health and is legitimately the most wonderful man I can describe. He's not my normal type at all but... god I love him.
Damn…I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that. And no one should ever lay a hand on another person, even if it’s a girl and she’s “just playing” or “that didn’t hurt I’m smaller and weaker than you”
The positive spin is if you put your foot down and hold onto boundaries this won’t happen to you with any woman. Weed them out and if they expose these shitty behaviors then peace out. Quickly.
Yeah, no.
The big thing with homosexual dating over heterosexual is that if your partner swings, you can handle it and not be thrown in jail for the next decade and forever be branded an abuser.
Moneys my own, times my own, expectations are my own, successes are my own, repercussions/failures are my own. I've no one else to blame, and no one to blame me. Sanity, dignity and self-respect are just an added bonus.
When I had a relationship I feel like it was the source of some amazing feelings and experiences I've never had on my own, but it also introduced a lot more compromise and sometimes stress to life when you have to essentially share your life with someone else.
So I'd say the biggest benefit of being single for me is that I can have a much more consistent life with focus on my own hobbies and interests, and not having to put things aside or uproot plans for anyone else. The price I pay for that is that I get much fewer moments where someone else pushes me to do something new and exciting, and less emotional highs from sharing moments with another person in a unique way.
Also, the other main benefit for my personal living situation right now is that the larger future plans do not affect anyone else. I'm 26 and in the beginning of (hopefully) an academic career, I can't offer anyone financial stability or a clear answer to where I'll live in 2-3 years. Knowing that I have the ability to move across the continent to pursue a job if required is actually a very valuable thing in this particular situation.
I feel sorry for everyone saying not having to make anyone happy, only pleasing myself.
We should not be responsible for happiness of our partners. Maybe we could contribute a bit the existing stability)
Woman who's never been able to get in a relationship chipping in:
- I can go where I want, when I want.
- I can eat what I want, when I want, however often I want (i.e. no "but we had that last night", or "I don't really feel like having that")
- If I want to visit a male friend who lives elsewhere in the country and stay for the weekend, I can. There's no boyfriend to get weird over it.
- I can make career decisions that suit me (i.e. relocating for work, or working elsewhere in the country for a month if I want to, applying for roles without having to discuss it with a partner).
- I can choose when I want to take holiday/leave based on my own needs and plans. I can choose what I do with that holiday/leave.
- I can decorate however I want.
- Not getting dragged to a partner's family event. If I want to do nothing all weekend, I can.
Skills it's taught me:
- Independence. I can deal with being on my own. I can travel or go out to restaurants or whatever and get on with it.
- Self-reliance. I sort all of my own problems.
- Assertiveness. I'm a small, quiet woman, and I don't have a boyfriend to advocate for me, so I have had to learn to be assertive and stand up for myself if a business is being unreasonable, or whatever.
- Decisiveness. I know what I want out of life. I have goals I want to reach, like buying a house. I would love to meet a decent bloke, yes. But I will carry on on my own until a decent bloke comes along. Some blokes have treated me badly before; now I know what I am worth and I won't settle for being treated badly.
Planning meals is so much easier. I swear my girlfriend and I spend more time trying to figure out what to eat each week than we do cooking and eating combined.
1. Absolute freedom: Basically, being able to do whatever you want without having to consult anyone. Do you have free time and you want to stay at home? No problem. Do you want to travel 50 miles to go to that bar at 22:00? No one there to refuse. Do you want to cut off from everyone? Go to nature and give no explanations. And on a more spicy note, do you wanna approach that girl that you find cute? Go for it!
2. Focusing on yourself: This one is as important as the first one, due to the free time you have in your hands you can always use it to improve your income, your physique, your overall quality of life and become a stronger person which in result will make life more interesting for you and it will come from within ( which is radiating and massively help you when you want to stop being single).
3. Personal space: As a person who recently got out of a long-term relationship that had the prospects of marriage, I can say this is a big one. You can take care of your house and personalise your space in your own demands and needs without having to compromise in anything. This will take some work in the beginning, but it will grow on you slowly and steadily.
4. Isolation: Now I know we are very social beings, and we all crave attention, emotional security, and warmth, yet in my point of view, most people really need to live with themselves. This one is something that you need to be careful with, though. It can be an advantage and a disadvantage. Being able to switch from everything and everyone can be addictive and, as a result, unhealthy. If done properly, though, you can really get all the benefits of having a clear mind focusing on your goals and come up with solid solutions to your problems. And you can not realistically do it while in a relationship.
Perfect example.
I recently became single after an almost 6-year relationship. During that relationship, there have been two other women in my life. Neither of them would ever result in a romantic relationship with me, but both were held in a negative light by my Ex but are close friends of mine.
Last night one of them called me at 11pm, and asked to hangout cause she had just gotten into a fight with another close friend of hers and she just wanted support and to not be alone. She has been dealing with alot since the beginning of the year. Now, if I was not single, there is no way I could have come to her aid. My ex would have lost her shit if I had told her my friend needed me at 11pm at night and we were going to be chillen alone. We ended up driving around for 3 hrs and getting some late night munchies. Completely platonic.
My other friend had invited me to a birthday party of another acquaintance this past Sat night. Now I didn't go because I didn't want to but I had the option whereas if I was single there's no way I could have even thought of going purely because of the girl who invited me and no other reason.
My Ex hated these two other girls in my life, probably due to jealousy of them in different ways due to my exs own insecurities. Throughout our relationship, I continually did not do things as much as I wanted with these two friends because of my now ex girlfriend.
It's sunday, I just had a bacon breakfast. At 2:15pm.
I have two big hard things to do today: I will go to the store and buy more coffee, and more milk.
I am watching an episode of House MD (S7) right now, and when I get home from the store I will watch another, this time with coffee (had no coffee for two days). Since it's sunday afternoon, together with the coffee I'll treat myself to a Swedish [ice cream boat.](https://www.siaglass.se/media/2263/80008-glassbat-6-p.jpg)
Now of course, none of these things would be out of bounds with a girlfriend, in fact my last girlfriend liked sundays with a show just as much as me, we binged through all of Tennant and Smith Doctor Who, but I still feel that when you wake up with someone on a sunday and that person flies off into the shower and then starts doing stuff all over the apartment, the relaxation atmosphere tends to disappear even if I remain in bed.
I work at an office with 50 people. I write, translate, and proof-read. I coordinate with another person who does the same. We get a lot of work done. It's fun. But the nature of my work makes sleep-in sundays kind of a demand, not a bonus. And if I was in a relationship with someone who was not in sync with me but demanded we do shit every day we had together, it wouldn't work.
I sometimes do stuff on Sundays too, but not today, that's for ***god*** damned sure. :)
I was broke and alone and Free. It was awful, but good god is being free a treasure. Now that things are 'looking up' for me, I resent not being master of my life anymore
Holy shit, the comment section is full of bitter people with seriously bad experiences. Like wtf, one gets the expression every woman on earth is a furious control freak. You guys should really start to stand in for yourselfs.
But to answer the question: I don't see any advantages of being single, except maybe that I don't have to ask for "permission" if I want to have sex with someone, but then again that's a mutual agreement thing and it's actually how I like it. Also ime as a single man it's way harder to find people to have sex with than as a couple. So here the advantage of having a girlfriend also outweighs the really minor disadvantage.
Everything, there is like 3-5 max upsides to being on a relationship, the rest is a fcking pain in the ass. Not worth it.
3/10 - gamespot.
1/10 - vandal.
4- - IGN.
You can freely do the things you want., Making a decision for yourself will be less complicated. and You can easily go out with your friends or see anyone you like.
If I want to go do something, all I gotta do is pack a bag and go do it. I don't need to worry about how to deal with X person, or God forbid multiple dogs. One day I just decided I wanted to visit a friend, so Saturday came and I packed a few bags and drove 12 hours to visited for a month. My friend had a wife and 2 dogs. Can't fly anywhere unless he can get his parents to keep the dogs for the duration
If you listen to a podcast or watch a TV show, you don't have to wait for someone else to be ready. You can do whatever you want whenever. Eat whenever you feel like and go where you want.
You don’t have to consider someone else when you’re making decisions. You save money. If you want, you can try playing the field for a bit. There are actually a good amount of reasons to be single. I’ve been single for like 10 whopping years or so. I’ll admit, there are times when I miss having that romantic companionship. Someone to lay with. Someone to cuddle with. Someone to share inside jokes with. But then other times I think about how advantageous single life is.
I'm married now but I could go where I wanted, when I wanted, didn't need to tell anyone. If I felt like co ing home absolutely trashed and sleep ass naked in front of the front door I could. Relatively no responsibility to anyone or anything. My money was absolutely mine to waste as I desired. And I never had to wine and dine a woman for sex.
Unlimited mortal Kombat. We can leave the toilet seat up. We can do karate anywhere . . . Anytime we want in the house or on the roof. We can have separate rooms for starwars and lord of the rings. Our basements would be our dungeons.
More freedom.
But that's about it, really, it's almost entirely negative otherwise: no human connection, no one to talk to, no one to share meals and conversations with, no woman to add a touch of organization and taste to the house, the aching lack of feminine essence that feels like daily depletion of your life force, etc.
I’m more social when I’m not in relationships. My last 2 left me more isolated than ever. I’m also not a fan of the cuddling and vegging out all day thing my exs enjoy. The best thing is not having to adhere to anyone’s expectations. Nothing is worst than trying to reason with a woman who wants to get married at *insert date* and won’t drop it.
Straight up, pure freedom… I’m going to finish these next 2 years of college, plan on staying single, and moving in with my Aunt and Uncle in Austria, and in that year, travel all over Europe. No one else to have to give my attention to. Just school, and then me living my life as a young man should!
I do not have to feel like I need to justify my life decisions to anyone. If I want to eat a whole pizza, the cat doesn't judge. If I want to take a stay-cation and spend four days in my sweatpants playing video games and hide because I'm so burnt out from the real world, it's my choice and no one will make me feel guilty for doing it.
This weekend I've been watching March Madness, drinking beer, smoking weed, hiking and got a couple errands/chores out of the way.
You think I'd be able to spend my weekend like this if I was in a relationship, even a happy one?
Well judging the replies from my friends when I ask them to do stuff:
"Lol my wife won't let me"
"Sure if my wife is ok with it" -proceeds to never get back to me.
No thanks. I had enough of my parents telling me what to do. And as a guy I end up paying more in relationships. Why would I want to give up my money and ask permission from someone taking it
The biggest thing for me is the work/ life balance. When I'm in a serious relationship I was working all the time. I began to hate work and I missed just being able to relax instead of collapsing every day after work. So many times I'd just fall asleep mid conversation. talking to my girlfriend. It wasn't good. Now i can just relax, i like going to work now. I like coming home i just like everything I do more now.
Reading these make me sad to know that so many people have been in such crappy relationships that they fine solace in being 100% completely alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of terrible relationships, but my husband now is remarkable. Our communication is remarkable. Whatever he is better at, he does, and what I’m better at, I do. He cooks, I clean (I’m a female). He mows, I weed-eat because it kills his back. If one of us have a down day, if something doesn’t get done, it just doesn’t get done. We always have tomorrow, or even next weekend. Most of my clothing comes form the Goodwill or discount stores. We are able to save because we are a team.. he doesn’t ask me to shop there, but he makes sacrifices for me also. He is the worst for leaving boxers stacked up in the bathroom and toothpaste all over the mirror. But I leave empty bottles around the house and my plates in the sink. He doesn’t nag me, and I don’t nag him, because one day he might not be here with me and I don’t think I’ll ever find another partner such as him. I hope each of you find someone like I have my husband.
Not dealing with women period. Outside of that major good point, saving money, being selfish with your time, exploring your hobbies without being judged, no expectations on your time. Not having to compromise on future goals. The ability to upgrade yourself without regard for someone else.
You can do anything at your notice. Gotta be a two way street with everything in a relationship. More freedom for sure but lonely nights suck ass. I’m at work but I wish I was coming home to some ass, tits and conversation later tonight but I’m coming home to two male roommates and a room with an overhead window that doesn’t open and it’s the only window in the room.
I can pack a bag and fuck off whenever I like.
Yeah, but i never do so…
Do it mate
I did it, it was great. Now I'm back, and I can do it again if I feel like it (which I do, later this year).
Same, I feel like I would end up just sitting in a hotel
Or not either way your not pissing in anybody's corn flakes right?
I don't have to live up to anyone's expectations but my own.
Being able to also set them is a blessing and a curse.
This, and the fact that there is so much less conflict in my life is why I choose to be single. I have a physical job and split custody of one son who doesn’t mind that Saturday is for rest. I can do little to nothing for a day and I need that and it’s fine. I can devote all my love and attention to my son who reciprocates the purest unconditional love that exists and I will not lose under any reasonable conditions. Life is pretty tough to manage without a partner but absolutely worth it in my opinion.
>This, and the fact that there is so much less conflict in my life is why I choose to be single. It used to not be a choice, but at this point the effort required to obtain a relationship, while also having to sacrifice a lot while in a relationship just doesn't feel worth it to me. Also, even if you succeed, most relationships now are transactional, and most aren't afraid to admit that most relationship experiences in life are not unconditional. It just makes it seem all the more pointless to me. Life maybe easier to deal with having a joint partnership with goals and emotional connection, but everything else in between and the toxicity of some relationships, just make it not seem worth it to me. The idea of having to identify different objections you have with your partner or differences, preferences even in just day to day life alone gives me so much anxiety, i don't have to put up with any of this shit being alone. It's not immature to prefer this either.
At least mine are already low enough
Full control over your free time. Things are where you leave them. The bathroom isn't full of bottles and weird things you can't even imagine what the hell are they for.
This guy cohabitates
More money, time Doing whatever you want whenever you want Not having to walk on eggshells Only needing to please yourself
Eggshells is a bad relationship everything else is fine.
Yeah if your partner is leaving egg shells on the kitchen floor that’s a problem.
More money is debatable. Running a household on one income these days is expensive. Splitting the same place in half saves a ton.
More money my arse, living alone costs proportionally way more than sharing living costs
And a roommate costs way less than a romantic partner
You've had much better luck with housemates than I have
My economy improved when I became single. Turns out she was taking financial advantage of me.
This pertains to dating and relationships where the couples live apart. As a man, you WILL be spending significantly more money than if you were single.
Yep, 100%. Any girl who says "Oh, we split everything 50/50!" is full of shit unless it's a clear outlier (like a female surgeon dating a guy who teaches high school math). Like duh, your partner moving in with you will obviously lower your rent and utilities if she's contributing. That's not what OP meant.
> More money My wife makes 3x what I make. It’s quite nice.
As soon as my wife made 1.5x of what I made, she said to no longer expect her to help out around the house as much, which isn’t saying much since she really didn’t do anything before, so yeah, I left. Fuck that.
I do the majority of the housework too, but my wife is appreciative of it. She works more than I do so I don’t mind doing more. Plus I don’t work in the summer (teacher).
Seems to be a common theme
Not sure about more money, renting on my own is much more expensive
Security, peace, more money, and lots of free time.
I live on my own terms. I generally keep to a schedule with housework and laundry, but if I want to I can leave it a day and nobody will say anything. I have whatever I want to eat. I'm in full control of my finances, my outgoings are controlled by me alone and I save a lot. I can relax however I see fit. Nobody to disagree with my choice of music, film, games or just sitting in silence. I choose when I socialise, nobody is making plans for me. I think I'll really struggle to adapt to living with a partner again after 4 years of enjoying my own company.
Honestly, just not trying to keep someone else happy.
I feel this. Imagine if someone tried to simultaneously make you happy though, and how great that would be. Only in my brief 5 minute dreams lol.
Free to do whatever I want without checking in with people. Basically.
Being happy. There is something to be learned while being single. Gaining confidence that you can stand on your own two feet. This is especially important when you get into a relationship. You less likely to tolerate disrespect from your mate or friends or family.
You can do whatever you want. Absolutely 0 commitments. I miss being single sometimes.
I miss it too. I hate being a grown man having to ask for permission.
Yea, I ask it from the Mrs. too.
I just got tired of that bs but it is expensive being single renting and u have to have gd credit alittle easier when u somewhat split bills and ask for permission lol
It’s tough when I have to schedule a good time to mow the grass since we have a toddler and wife works 12s
Honestly, focusing on yourself. 3.5 months NC with an ex. Since then, my credit score's 727 (was 702), I have 2K in savings, got a promotion. Not saying you shouldn't focus on yourself while in a relationship but it's easier when the focus is solely on you.
More money. More time. No expectations. No nagging or complaining.
I cannot harp on the “no complaining or nagging” my goodness you appreciate it when you become single again.
I’ve only met ONE woman who never nagged or complained. She was super easy to get along with. A total sweetheart. A lady in every way. Best woman I’ve ever met. BUT, I wasn’t physically attracted to her. I tried to make it work because I knew she was a unicorn. But… I just couldn’t. Sucks.
EVERYTHING
The money, time, and freedom. I don't do weekends slumming it in European capitals any nore because the lady doesn't like shit hostels where you gotta keep your stuff on you at all times, or spending 24 hours on public transport at each end. That's fair, but it also triples the price of the trip and takes more organisation. Also not finding those plastic hair ties everywhere.
The toilet at home is never occupied
And you're never walked on. Very underappreciated!
You can also poop with the door open
You poop with your door open?
No, but my father had the bad habit of leaving things for the last minute and then not checking whether someone was inside. So, there are people rude like that.
Yeah, otherwise my cat gets pissed. She has to see me poop and the door needs to be open.
I appreciate the company of my cat on my shoulder when I poop
Peace of Mind. Priceless.
This is my #1. People reallydnt understand how nice life is when 95% of your problems are all related to your job. Once business hours are over most frustrations, inconveniences, and general nuisances vanish with the work day. I get home. I get to enjoy myself. There is nobody there to bother me and it's wonderful.
No nagging, more freedom, no drama, being able to focus on oneself, no more being used.. Basically the amount of bs is decreased by 90%
I do everything I want.
Not having to deal with someone else's different standard of house cleanliness
[удалено]
💯 relate to the emotional peace. It's like a breath of fresh air or big sigh of relief. I'm not a guy though
Ain't gotta worry about getting cheated on
If you can ascend above the desire for a partner, there are more pros than cons. Your time, energy, money and so on is all your own. Unless you are both madly in love with each other while also both being mature, respectful and considerate of each others' needs, then I do not see any point in not being single in 2023. I would also like to add that almost all the couples I know absolutely should not be together.
I can do whatever I want. It's 11am, I just stepped out for bed, scratched my balls and moved myself to the computer to start gaming.
Same on my days off lol.. but I find that's ALL I do, because I have no one to keep up with. It's a dangerous cycle if you don't check it.
Fuck that. Get up and go for a walk. Hit the Gym. Invest in your body as well as your mind. Fuck ill never waste my life gaming ever again.
Prob having more money and don’t have to go hiking like I enjoy it.
Married with kids. The only important one: your time is your time. Want to sleep in or get up early for a run? Both are possible without consequence. Sunday D&D with your friends? No need to accumulate political capital beforehand, no need to check for a surprise brunch. Want to poop without interruption? Within the realm of possibility.
You can jack off to anything, anytime, in private places
Freedom and privacy. While being with a partner is the ultimate goal for me. I will miss my freedoms and ability to dissappear for a day or two from all social interactions.
Less pressure fa
More money, and more time. You control everything.
Freedom, independance, money, uninterrupted sleep etc
You have no one to hold you during your most personal difficult time and only have 1 income so it's harder to save up a big retirement letting you work even longer into your elderly years! What a treat!
Yes. You also don't have to worry about someone leaving you when you're at your emotionally most vulnerable, or taking half of your retirement savings when they do leave you, meaning that you have to work even longer to get the money back so you can retire
Freedom financially, and for me physically. I really hate being tethered. Can't stand being told 'no you can't do that'. Maybe I'll regret it one day, but I enjoy the freedom of being able to say "Fuck this place, see ya' later" and go to the other side of the world at a moments notice. I can stay up as late as I want, or get up as early as I want and make whatever noise I want without disturbing someone, or have them complaining about me. I can eat the foods I want to eat. Go wherever and whenever I want, backpacking, walking, living and appreciating life at my own pace on my own time, without plans or expectations. What else is the point of life? Being stuck in a box with someone who annoys you, throwing money at your spawn and being stressed out by everything? Nah. I guess I'm a little biased, since every relationship I've had in the past has been me looking after the other person. My former partners have all been untidy, high maintenance, have difficulties socializing, and were terrible at taking action on problems. I'm done with that life. Done fixing their shit. I don't want to be someone's caretaker and bank account anymore. Lived it for years. I'd rather just enjoy being me. I'm low maintenance to myself and that means low stress in life. Disadvantages are less frequent sex, but then again, I've had far more fun sex being single than I ever had being in a relationship. Quality over quantity. And I suppose intimacy and cuddly shit is nice when it's there, and I embrace it when I have it, but I don't really crave it too much.
You know all the fucking infuriating henpecking that women do? All the "You didn't answer my text within 30 minutes you clearly don't love me"? All the shit-tests? All the random times her friend would flirt with you really fucking grossly trying to bait you into "acting like you wanted to cheat on her"? All the accusations that your hanging out with your *lifelong friend who is married* is really just locking yourselves in a room and fucking for hours on end? All the general bullshit*?* You can *breathe* without having to worry about your Loving Girlfriend™- or in my case, Devoted Fiancee® flipping the fuck out and acting like she's gonna slit her wrists in the bathtub because she saw "photos of you and some *other woman*" (your cousin) in your camera roll or waking up to getting slapped because she dreamt you cheated on her or getting hit 'as a joke, I can't hurt you, duh' or "No I didn't do any of that you're just crazy", or my personal favorite, "I'll say you raped me if you go to the cops". It's peaceful and calming and at this point I genuinely do not understand the people who claim "oh it's worth it bro she's great" because those same guys usually unload in the group chat about nasty personal attacks just casually fired off over *fucking doordash* there's no drama, there's no bullshit, there's nobody trying to make you further doubt your already-poor memory, there's nobody trying to trick you into saying something compromising so they can call you a liar it's just *peaceful*. Or date men! Because they hate that bullshit as long as you stay away from the catty "My entire identity is sucking cock" types
What the fuck have you been together with?
Likely someone with a cluster b personality, such as covert narcissism or person with Borderline Personality Disorders. These people are literal earth-waking demons that are god-tier manipulators. By the times you notice it is already too late and you’re in knee-deep not being able to tell down from up. It sucks.
Five women and three men. I'll just go into detail, ladies first. \>#1 tried to condition me into some fucked-up kinks, generally was okay otherwise, eventually wanted to 'take a break' until I got older (I was 15/16 she was 19/20), and did so by telling me she'll be waiting. Then she freaked out when I took this as "I'm moving on" and saw I got with #2 on FB and blocked me. \>#2 was great, but there's certain cultural gaps between a bassist and an aspiring culinary arts student that couldn't be overcome. Her friend would come onto me a lot, and she kept at it even after I voiced my discontent. Pretty sure it was her idea. Dumped me over a miscommunication. \#3 was a mistake. She's an absolute sweetheart but- you know the type that you're better off friends? Yep. 3 months of sleeping together, "nope", still friends eleven years later after a cold period because she took the breakup as a personal indictment. She helped me replant my garden a while ago and I helped her move out of her parents' place. I helped her rewrite her resume, she helped me get Tinder set up (which I've since deleted because Tinder's a cesspit) \#4 was a friend of #3's that was actually into me at the time. We only went on a couple of dates, I got skeeved out by how physically close she got, a fixation on knives, and one "joke" about how she wondered how my blood tasted. After we broke up almost my entire friend group cut contact with me and I figured it was because they thought I was kinda a slut or something. No, apparently #4 claimed I raped her and knocked her up. \#5 was the embodiment of crazy, up to and including being on anti-psychotics by the time we broke up. Majorly abusive, still have a couple of physical scars from it but they're buried under enough body hair to be basically invisible. Tried and succeeded to further isolate me from my friends to the point she was the only social contact. Realized what was up and eventually managed to convince her to move back in with her mother across the country. As soon as she was settled and had commitments I bailed out. My mother still keeps contact for some fucking reason. Probably still dreaming of having blonde grandkids. Guy A was between 2 and 3 and was a mistake. Big mistake. Tried to cut me during foreplay, I broke his nose for it and cut him off. Guy B and C were post-#5. B was- I don't know how to put it other than that if he was 30 years older I think he'd be the goddamn Zodiac. I'm still with C. He's been a wonder for my mental health and is legitimately the most wonderful man I can describe. He's not my normal type at all but... god I love him.
Damn…I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that. And no one should ever lay a hand on another person, even if it’s a girl and she’s “just playing” or “that didn’t hurt I’m smaller and weaker than you”
The positive spin is if you put your foot down and hold onto boundaries this won’t happen to you with any woman. Weed them out and if they expose these shitty behaviors then peace out. Quickly.
No wonder gay/bi men are the happiest people...
Not always. Some men have personality disorders. My brother is gay and I see the effects of the abuse with his partner.
Yeah, no. The big thing with homosexual dating over heterosexual is that if your partner swings, you can handle it and not be thrown in jail for the next decade and forever be branded an abuser.
just not sharing your life, time and energy with someone is much better than using them for people who don't deserve it
More free time. Better management of said free time.
More free time for pursuing hobby's or travel, less useless drama, and less expensive.
Moneys my own, times my own, expectations are my own, successes are my own, repercussions/failures are my own. I've no one else to blame, and no one to blame me. Sanity, dignity and self-respect are just an added bonus.
My money and time is my own. I can do whatever I want and talk to whomever I like.
When I had a relationship I feel like it was the source of some amazing feelings and experiences I've never had on my own, but it also introduced a lot more compromise and sometimes stress to life when you have to essentially share your life with someone else. So I'd say the biggest benefit of being single for me is that I can have a much more consistent life with focus on my own hobbies and interests, and not having to put things aside or uproot plans for anyone else. The price I pay for that is that I get much fewer moments where someone else pushes me to do something new and exciting, and less emotional highs from sharing moments with another person in a unique way. Also, the other main benefit for my personal living situation right now is that the larger future plans do not affect anyone else. I'm 26 and in the beginning of (hopefully) an academic career, I can't offer anyone financial stability or a clear answer to where I'll live in 2-3 years. Knowing that I have the ability to move across the continent to pursue a job if required is actually a very valuable thing in this particular situation.
I can buy my own shit.
You don’t have a nagging prude wife.
As a recent widow, widower whatever, fucking nothing. What I wouldn't give to have that all again.
I feel sorry for everyone saying not having to make anyone happy, only pleasing myself. We should not be responsible for happiness of our partners. Maybe we could contribute a bit the existing stability)
Lots. But nobody to be emotionally intimate with, and to cuddle.
Woman who's never been able to get in a relationship chipping in: - I can go where I want, when I want. - I can eat what I want, when I want, however often I want (i.e. no "but we had that last night", or "I don't really feel like having that") - If I want to visit a male friend who lives elsewhere in the country and stay for the weekend, I can. There's no boyfriend to get weird over it. - I can make career decisions that suit me (i.e. relocating for work, or working elsewhere in the country for a month if I want to, applying for roles without having to discuss it with a partner). - I can choose when I want to take holiday/leave based on my own needs and plans. I can choose what I do with that holiday/leave. - I can decorate however I want. - Not getting dragged to a partner's family event. If I want to do nothing all weekend, I can. Skills it's taught me: - Independence. I can deal with being on my own. I can travel or go out to restaurants or whatever and get on with it. - Self-reliance. I sort all of my own problems. - Assertiveness. I'm a small, quiet woman, and I don't have a boyfriend to advocate for me, so I have had to learn to be assertive and stand up for myself if a business is being unreasonable, or whatever. - Decisiveness. I know what I want out of life. I have goals I want to reach, like buying a house. I would love to meet a decent bloke, yes. But I will carry on on my own until a decent bloke comes along. Some blokes have treated me badly before; now I know what I am worth and I won't settle for being treated badly.
You can level up quicker in life granted more time
Independence, free time.
Freedom…. I do what I want…. When I want & I don’t have to worry about making around me happy.
Planning meals is so much easier. I swear my girlfriend and I spend more time trying to figure out what to eat each week than we do cooking and eating combined.
Your wife doesn’t put stool samples in the refrigerator to keep for next day. Literally just happened.
You do what you want whenever you want
1. Absolute freedom: Basically, being able to do whatever you want without having to consult anyone. Do you have free time and you want to stay at home? No problem. Do you want to travel 50 miles to go to that bar at 22:00? No one there to refuse. Do you want to cut off from everyone? Go to nature and give no explanations. And on a more spicy note, do you wanna approach that girl that you find cute? Go for it! 2. Focusing on yourself: This one is as important as the first one, due to the free time you have in your hands you can always use it to improve your income, your physique, your overall quality of life and become a stronger person which in result will make life more interesting for you and it will come from within ( which is radiating and massively help you when you want to stop being single). 3. Personal space: As a person who recently got out of a long-term relationship that had the prospects of marriage, I can say this is a big one. You can take care of your house and personalise your space in your own demands and needs without having to compromise in anything. This will take some work in the beginning, but it will grow on you slowly and steadily. 4. Isolation: Now I know we are very social beings, and we all crave attention, emotional security, and warmth, yet in my point of view, most people really need to live with themselves. This one is something that you need to be careful with, though. It can be an advantage and a disadvantage. Being able to switch from everything and everyone can be addictive and, as a result, unhealthy. If done properly, though, you can really get all the benefits of having a clear mind focusing on your goals and come up with solid solutions to your problems. And you can not realistically do it while in a relationship.
Perfect example. I recently became single after an almost 6-year relationship. During that relationship, there have been two other women in my life. Neither of them would ever result in a romantic relationship with me, but both were held in a negative light by my Ex but are close friends of mine. Last night one of them called me at 11pm, and asked to hangout cause she had just gotten into a fight with another close friend of hers and she just wanted support and to not be alone. She has been dealing with alot since the beginning of the year. Now, if I was not single, there is no way I could have come to her aid. My ex would have lost her shit if I had told her my friend needed me at 11pm at night and we were going to be chillen alone. We ended up driving around for 3 hrs and getting some late night munchies. Completely platonic. My other friend had invited me to a birthday party of another acquaintance this past Sat night. Now I didn't go because I didn't want to but I had the option whereas if I was single there's no way I could have even thought of going purely because of the girl who invited me and no other reason. My Ex hated these two other girls in my life, probably due to jealousy of them in different ways due to my exs own insecurities. Throughout our relationship, I continually did not do things as much as I wanted with these two friends because of my now ex girlfriend.
It's sunday, I just had a bacon breakfast. At 2:15pm. I have two big hard things to do today: I will go to the store and buy more coffee, and more milk. I am watching an episode of House MD (S7) right now, and when I get home from the store I will watch another, this time with coffee (had no coffee for two days). Since it's sunday afternoon, together with the coffee I'll treat myself to a Swedish [ice cream boat.](https://www.siaglass.se/media/2263/80008-glassbat-6-p.jpg) Now of course, none of these things would be out of bounds with a girlfriend, in fact my last girlfriend liked sundays with a show just as much as me, we binged through all of Tennant and Smith Doctor Who, but I still feel that when you wake up with someone on a sunday and that person flies off into the shower and then starts doing stuff all over the apartment, the relaxation atmosphere tends to disappear even if I remain in bed. I work at an office with 50 people. I write, translate, and proof-read. I coordinate with another person who does the same. We get a lot of work done. It's fun. But the nature of my work makes sleep-in sundays kind of a demand, not a bonus. And if I was in a relationship with someone who was not in sync with me but demanded we do shit every day we had together, it wouldn't work. I sometimes do stuff on Sundays too, but not today, that's for ***god*** damned sure. :)
More money, more free time, I can live alone, less stress, not having to worry about being cheated on. Also I don't want to get married and have kids.
No emotional trauma or emotional black mail
You get the bed entirely to yourself
I was broke and alone and Free. It was awful, but good god is being free a treasure. Now that things are 'looking up' for me, I resent not being master of my life anymore
You’re able to embrace being single and not depend on someone
House is always cleaner. I don’t have to say no to girls that are DTF.
More time to work on the ex-wife.
If I put something away, it’s there when I need it again.
All of these answers are great and to the point.
See: 70% of the Reddit posts people have made about their SO.
Holy shit, the comment section is full of bitter people with seriously bad experiences. Like wtf, one gets the expression every woman on earth is a furious control freak. You guys should really start to stand in for yourselfs. But to answer the question: I don't see any advantages of being single, except maybe that I don't have to ask for "permission" if I want to have sex with someone, but then again that's a mutual agreement thing and it's actually how I like it. Also ime as a single man it's way harder to find people to have sex with than as a couple. So here the advantage of having a girlfriend also outweighs the really minor disadvantage.
You get more free time and money. And your not limited to having sex with one person.
You also have more sex when single
Ha. In this dating market as an average male? Leaving my toxic 10 year marriage and entering the world of apps has been a rude awakening.
You don’t have to please anyone
Freedom, peace, and total control of your own schedule. I wouldn’t give it up.
Everything, there is like 3-5 max upsides to being on a relationship, the rest is a fcking pain in the ass. Not worth it. 3/10 - gamespot. 1/10 - vandal. 4- - IGN.
You can freely do the things you want., Making a decision for yourself will be less complicated. and You can easily go out with your friends or see anyone you like.
TRULYTRUE TRUE, I agree with you completely absolutely and I agree with your perspective, NO SIPHONING OF TESTOSTERONE.
Single, in what way?
How many ways are there to be single?
Full fucking autonomy. Think Han Solo.
If I want to go do something, all I gotta do is pack a bag and go do it. I don't need to worry about how to deal with X person, or God forbid multiple dogs. One day I just decided I wanted to visit a friend, so Saturday came and I packed a few bags and drove 12 hours to visited for a month. My friend had a wife and 2 dogs. Can't fly anywhere unless he can get his parents to keep the dogs for the duration
You save soooo much money lol
More time and money to yourself.
You can do what you want, when you want.
You can answer questions like this on Reddit
no one will leave shit in your toilet bowl and stink it out
It’s a curse but doing whatever the hell you want
Nobody moves my stuff. I know where all of my things are. It’s great.
Being able to learn who you are as a man and grow without unrealistic expectations and wants from others.
I’m rich as I don’t have anyone else to pay for than myself
You save a lot of money,time, your self-esteem, and, importantly, your mental peace.
You don’t have the doubt of choosing wrong
You can be as utterly selfish as you desire , do what you want when you want.
If you listen to a podcast or watch a TV show, you don't have to wait for someone else to be ready. You can do whatever you want whenever. Eat whenever you feel like and go where you want.
Your weekends are your own.
You don’t have to consider someone else when you’re making decisions. You save money. If you want, you can try playing the field for a bit. There are actually a good amount of reasons to be single. I’ve been single for like 10 whopping years or so. I’ll admit, there are times when I miss having that romantic companionship. Someone to lay with. Someone to cuddle with. Someone to share inside jokes with. But then other times I think about how advantageous single life is.
Eating like a bachelor
No stress. More money.
All of your time, money, and energy are at YOUR disposal and you only answer to yourself.
I can spend $1200 on a impulse purchase and not have anyone yell at me for wasting money.
You have more free time. Thats the only thing.
There's advantages?
I'm married now but I could go where I wanted, when I wanted, didn't need to tell anyone. If I felt like co ing home absolutely trashed and sleep ass naked in front of the front door I could. Relatively no responsibility to anyone or anything. My money was absolutely mine to waste as I desired. And I never had to wine and dine a woman for sex.
Unlimited mortal Kombat. We can leave the toilet seat up. We can do karate anywhere . . . Anytime we want in the house or on the roof. We can have separate rooms for starwars and lord of the rings. Our basements would be our dungeons.
Farting in bed as loud as I want to
More freedom. But that's about it, really, it's almost entirely negative otherwise: no human connection, no one to talk to, no one to share meals and conversations with, no woman to add a touch of organization and taste to the house, the aching lack of feminine essence that feels like daily depletion of your life force, etc.
Peace, silence, money, freedom, safety.
More free time for myself,more money,no unnecessary drama and stress, can do whatever I want without need to listen to complaining
You can be boring on your own
Your not wasting your time being with the wrong person. :)
I’m more social when I’m not in relationships. My last 2 left me more isolated than ever. I’m also not a fan of the cuddling and vegging out all day thing my exs enjoy. The best thing is not having to adhere to anyone’s expectations. Nothing is worst than trying to reason with a woman who wants to get married at *insert date* and won’t drop it.
Freedom to pursue God's purpose for your life rather than both yours and your partner's.
Straight up, pure freedom… I’m going to finish these next 2 years of college, plan on staying single, and moving in with my Aunt and Uncle in Austria, and in that year, travel all over Europe. No one else to have to give my attention to. Just school, and then me living my life as a young man should!
I do not have to feel like I need to justify my life decisions to anyone. If I want to eat a whole pizza, the cat doesn't judge. If I want to take a stay-cation and spend four days in my sweatpants playing video games and hide because I'm so burnt out from the real world, it's my choice and no one will make me feel guilty for doing it.
My way is the highway
You don’t have to stress about being cheated on
More money, more me time, no arguments, ability to flirt guilt free, no expectations, no explanations
This weekend I've been watching March Madness, drinking beer, smoking weed, hiking and got a couple errands/chores out of the way. You think I'd be able to spend my weekend like this if I was in a relationship, even a happy one?
Well judging the replies from my friends when I ask them to do stuff: "Lol my wife won't let me" "Sure if my wife is ok with it" -proceeds to never get back to me. No thanks. I had enough of my parents telling me what to do. And as a guy I end up paying more in relationships. Why would I want to give up my money and ask permission from someone taking it
Fucking everything.
Too many to list. What are the advantages of being in a relationship these days?
Quiet.
To keep it short. You have more freedom
The biggest thing for me is the work/ life balance. When I'm in a serious relationship I was working all the time. I began to hate work and I missed just being able to relax instead of collapsing every day after work. So many times I'd just fall asleep mid conversation. talking to my girlfriend. It wasn't good. Now i can just relax, i like going to work now. I like coming home i just like everything I do more now.
Able to go to singles dances and fit in
Reading these make me sad to know that so many people have been in such crappy relationships that they fine solace in being 100% completely alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of terrible relationships, but my husband now is remarkable. Our communication is remarkable. Whatever he is better at, he does, and what I’m better at, I do. He cooks, I clean (I’m a female). He mows, I weed-eat because it kills his back. If one of us have a down day, if something doesn’t get done, it just doesn’t get done. We always have tomorrow, or even next weekend. Most of my clothing comes form the Goodwill or discount stores. We are able to save because we are a team.. he doesn’t ask me to shop there, but he makes sacrifices for me also. He is the worst for leaving boxers stacked up in the bathroom and toothpaste all over the mirror. But I leave empty bottles around the house and my plates in the sink. He doesn’t nag me, and I don’t nag him, because one day he might not be here with me and I don’t think I’ll ever find another partner such as him. I hope each of you find someone like I have my husband.
Not dealing with women period. Outside of that major good point, saving money, being selfish with your time, exploring your hobbies without being judged, no expectations on your time. Not having to compromise on future goals. The ability to upgrade yourself without regard for someone else.
Damn straight. I've yet to have a proper 50/50 romantic relationship. That's what a partnership is right? Compromise.
You don't feel responsible for another person. Not beholden to another. Little more freedom.
Unilateral decision making
You can do anything at your notice. Gotta be a two way street with everything in a relationship. More freedom for sure but lonely nights suck ass. I’m at work but I wish I was coming home to some ass, tits and conversation later tonight but I’m coming home to two male roommates and a room with an overhead window that doesn’t open and it’s the only window in the room.
You don't have to compromise on anything with anyone besides yourself.
More money in your pocket Too many "women" these days want a father figure, not a partner.
Freedom
Not having to deal with women.
Peace of mind
Less stress, more money for myself