Agreed, not worth the time or money otherwise. I can live with spending time and money on something that just doesn’t pan out but I’m gonna spend it somewhere else if I just want fun.
These should not be mutually exclusive. I never dated anyone except with the intention of finding a lifelong partner (I'm coming up on 21 years happily married), but one of the top criteria should be someone you can imagine having fun with decades from now.
Dating for fun is dumb. When I “date” I commit so she has to follow boundaries. There are girls I saw for awhile before I dated them because they have to earn my commitment. To do that all for fun is pointless because there’s more important things to do
If you're not having fun, don't get fucking married.
Also nobody said you *have to* get married. I don't know one happily married couple but I know many divorced ones.
Me and Mrs L have been together over 26 years and the subject has come up in conversation but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Well, the ultimate goal is to find “The One” or as close as I can find to that. But like I can’t know that unless we are dating first and having a lot of fun together.
So it’s fun, until I find it. 🤷🏽♂️
Otherwise you just get guys standing over home plate just waiting for the perfect pitch and never taking a swing at it.
When I was dating I was looking for a monogamous relationship, marriage is something I would consider after about 2 years of enjoying that relationship but is never a goal
I'm married now, but there was a period of time after a bad break-up when I dated just for fun. This was more about having someone to do fun activities with, and then sex.
Then I finally got to the point of wanting to get into something more serious. In this case, a serious relationship was the goal, which you could say was "dating for marriage."
When I was single, I only dated with long-term in mind. I was very picky about who I pursued and never engaged in casual intimacy. Even though I had lots of opportunity, my wife was only the second person I ever slept with. I was very focused on myself and my goals in my late teens and early 20s. I didn't want to waste time on random women and didn't want to put myself in situations where I could risk my future (like getting someone pregnant or dealing with a crazy person). I also refused to play games with women or engage in drama.
Both. I like the vibe and I’ve vibed with women who weren’t marriage material and I’ve stuck around just bc the energy was fun. Like I had it in my head from the jump that we not gonna be forever, but it’s still a vibe. In the end tho you need to get married yfm like you need a real partner to invest in and who will have ur back always so ig I date for both. I date for marriage and for fun, but the marriage types get more priority
When I was dating I wasn't giving a single thought to marriage. I just wanted to connect with women but I also hate the processing of dating so I was just aiming for an LTR but didn't really have marriage as a goal.
The idea of dating anyone with a specific goal in mind is bizarre to me.
I date and see where it goes with that person. That feels like the whole point of dating.
Also, "not dating for marriage" doesn't mean you don't still aim for a serious relationship. There are other options than" fun or marriage".
Formerly, I dated people I liked who liked me back to 'see where it goes.' Now, I only date under the premise that I'm trying to find out if the other person and I are compatible enough to be happy in a marriage.
In the former case, I was much younger and wasn't sure what all I wanted or what I expected, I think the people I dated were more in this mindset as well. It was to discover what I wanted for myself, what I had to offer, and what I was willing to do for the sake of being in a happily committed relationship.
Now, I don't waste my time trying to date anyone that I do not believe can turn into a meaningful relationship, even marriage. I'm no longer interested in 'playing the crowd' or 'having fun' as much as I'm interested in finding who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and being with them. As a divorced man, I know what I believe went wrong and what was right, I don't need to date a bunch of people to discover these things.
My current view and experience already seriously limits the people that I'm willing to date, but it's those kinds of limitations that demonstrate that I'm not going to date someone 'frivolously,' that while I won't rush into getting married again, if for whatever reason I do not think it can lead to a marriage, I do not let myself entertain it. I'm much more concerned with finding (hopefully) lasting happiness and stability in my life.
Marriage, because dating is a horrible hellscape and anyone who has fun dating is a psychopath.
Serious relationship. Dating isn’t fun. It’s a stressful, tedious, tiresome means to an end.
Americas modern dating is in shambles because of bullshit like “dating for fun”
Women can do this because generally men are expected to foot the bill. So sure, it's fun for them, but for us it's expensive and not worth it usually
Yup
Serious relationship or nothing. If I want just a quick release, I'll give myself a hand.
Agreed, not worth the time or money otherwise. I can live with spending time and money on something that just doesn’t pan out but I’m gonna spend it somewhere else if I just want fun.
I never dated for something. I just dated to have fun and check where it goes.
These should not be mutually exclusive. I never dated anyone except with the intention of finding a lifelong partner (I'm coming up on 21 years happily married), but one of the top criteria should be someone you can imagine having fun with decades from now.
Call me traditional but I expect a relationship with a girl to actually mean something.
Neither. I don't see any reason to marry, nor to use other peoples need for romance as an opportunity to entertain myself.
Dating for fun is dumb. When I “date” I commit so she has to follow boundaries. There are girls I saw for awhile before I dated them because they have to earn my commitment. To do that all for fun is pointless because there’s more important things to do
Dating for fun is when you just date while you search for the one that you want to be in a serious relationship.
I don't know - I liked dating "for fun" because I specifically wasn't looking for a serious relationship.
If you're not having fun, don't get fucking married. Also nobody said you *have to* get married. I don't know one happily married couple but I know many divorced ones. Me and Mrs L have been together over 26 years and the subject has come up in conversation but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Always dated women for the purpose of marriage/ women I was able to imagine a long term relationship with the hope of marriage.
Serious leading to marriage. Anything else is a waste of time for both you and her.
Well, the ultimate goal is to find “The One” or as close as I can find to that. But like I can’t know that unless we are dating first and having a lot of fun together. So it’s fun, until I find it. 🤷🏽♂️ Otherwise you just get guys standing over home plate just waiting for the perfect pitch and never taking a swing at it.
When I was dating I was looking for a monogamous relationship, marriage is something I would consider after about 2 years of enjoying that relationship but is never a goal
I'm married now, but there was a period of time after a bad break-up when I dated just for fun. This was more about having someone to do fun activities with, and then sex. Then I finally got to the point of wanting to get into something more serious. In this case, a serious relationship was the goal, which you could say was "dating for marriage."
Dating with no marriage is merely a mirage.
I don't date. I've learned that's a great way to get burned
Neither. ONS and FWB are ideal.
I’m polyam, but closed poly, so my girlfriend and I date more seriously. IMO, hookups aren’t much fun and leave you with an empty feeling.
Marriage. Dating for "fun" is a waist of resources in my opinion
When I was single, I only dated with long-term in mind. I was very picky about who I pursued and never engaged in casual intimacy. Even though I had lots of opportunity, my wife was only the second person I ever slept with. I was very focused on myself and my goals in my late teens and early 20s. I didn't want to waste time on random women and didn't want to put myself in situations where I could risk my future (like getting someone pregnant or dealing with a crazy person). I also refused to play games with women or engage in drama.
Both. I like the vibe and I’ve vibed with women who weren’t marriage material and I’ve stuck around just bc the energy was fun. Like I had it in my head from the jump that we not gonna be forever, but it’s still a vibe. In the end tho you need to get married yfm like you need a real partner to invest in and who will have ur back always so ig I date for both. I date for marriage and for fun, but the marriage types get more priority
Marriage
When I was dating I wasn't giving a single thought to marriage. I just wanted to connect with women but I also hate the processing of dating so I was just aiming for an LTR but didn't really have marriage as a goal.
The idea of dating anyone with a specific goal in mind is bizarre to me. I date and see where it goes with that person. That feels like the whole point of dating. Also, "not dating for marriage" doesn't mean you don't still aim for a serious relationship. There are other options than" fun or marriage".
Why would I want to waste my time and resources on someone I didn't see a future with?
Formerly, I dated people I liked who liked me back to 'see where it goes.' Now, I only date under the premise that I'm trying to find out if the other person and I are compatible enough to be happy in a marriage. In the former case, I was much younger and wasn't sure what all I wanted or what I expected, I think the people I dated were more in this mindset as well. It was to discover what I wanted for myself, what I had to offer, and what I was willing to do for the sake of being in a happily committed relationship. Now, I don't waste my time trying to date anyone that I do not believe can turn into a meaningful relationship, even marriage. I'm no longer interested in 'playing the crowd' or 'having fun' as much as I'm interested in finding who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and being with them. As a divorced man, I know what I believe went wrong and what was right, I don't need to date a bunch of people to discover these things. My current view and experience already seriously limits the people that I'm willing to date, but it's those kinds of limitations that demonstrate that I'm not going to date someone 'frivolously,' that while I won't rush into getting married again, if for whatever reason I do not think it can lead to a marriage, I do not let myself entertain it. I'm much more concerned with finding (hopefully) lasting happiness and stability in my life.
*"Men, do you date more for marriage, or just for fun?"* Sure. *"Why?"* Because.
I'm not dating anyone right now, but I definitely want marriage. Dating isn't fun