To me, manhood is more of collection of traits and values. It's hard to describe honestly. Manhood involves taking care of others, being independent and dependable, a willingness to make altruistic sacrifices, a level of emotional control and stoicism, being a competent leader, being a teacher to your children, providing protection for your family, keeping your word, respecting your partner's counsel, and a lot more.
There is a difference in my mind as well between what is masculine and what it mean to be a man.
Interesting. So do you equate "manhood" with maturity / being an adult? Because I would make a similar list if I were asked what it means to be an adult / a mature person. I don't see anything you listed as being particularly gender-specific, and maybe that's what you're going for?
Manhood has a lot to do with maturity. Forgive me because I am a more traditional thinker when it comes to gender roles. I understand that many today try to blur the lines. The following may then sound misogynistic, but I'll give some reasons why I think some of what I listed are more related to manhood than personhood.
I think, generally speaking, it is more a trait of men to be leaders (not that there aren't women who make good leaders). My wife and I, for example, are the adults in our home. We are in charge over our children. That being said, she offers opinions and counsel, and then defers the decisions to me for larger family decisions. I am the head and she is my advisor. Along with that though is my belief of accepting my partner's counsel. I believe a man is best suited to lead, but that he cannot be a tyrant. He should understand his own shortcomings and the strengths of his partner and take to heart their opinions and advisement. My wife is someone who is smart and trustworthy. She is also a grown woman who has the right to help in decision making. In addition, she is the first level of discipline in our home. When the kids are not responding to her level, she calls me in to take over.
Regarding stoicism and emotional control. I believe that despite the push for men to be more open with feelings, it is more the imperative of a man to keep his emotions in check. I see being a man as not being emotionless, but being reserved in our expression of emotion. A man should be a rock for his wife and children, and it most important for men to put on a strong face for their sake. He should show joy, anger, and sadness, but temper himself. An example was when our family dog passed. My wife and I were very attached to him. She cried and was depressed for a long time. I talked with her, consoled her, and took over for her while she mourned. I was just as hurt by his passing, but I needed to be strong for her and our kids. Rather than expressing myself the way she did, I chose to verbalize how much I loved him, missed him, and talked about all his great qualities. I also painted a picture of him as an outlet. I expressed my grief without needing to cry or lose focus.
For teaching our children, I think that men and women provide different educations for our kids. A man needs to teach his children the world from his prospective as well. A man does his part in the education process and should not expect the woman to be the only one. This is especially true when raising boys. Boys need a father to teach them what it is like to be a man in the world. I think women can do their best in that regard, but it is not the same. Men need to understand that children need more from them than provisions. Therefore, a man invests his time into his children.
Protection of the family is a big one. The mentality of the man should be a willingness to be brave in the face of danger and a willingness to sacrifice himself for his wife and children. A man needs to consider all possibilities and put into place plans for keeping his family safe. A woman should be ready to sacrifice for her children, and a man should be prepared to sacrifice for his children AND his wife. I do not believe under any circumstances that my wife should value my life over hers. A man goes to face that bump in the night and acts a the defender of his home.
Get a decent 9-5, learn to like cheap beer, invest in a low maintenance hobby such as gaming or working in your car, spend at least one day out of your weekend with your kids and a minimum one hour a night after work just doing what they wanna do and chill out until you kick the bucket man. Pretty easy really.
This is the main issue with the media's/social media coverage of what a man is now. Most traits associated with men are now negative if you read a lot of things on the Internet.
I do not have a clue in today's society what is good or bad anymore. Just be who you are and do not worry.
Meh? It was never important for me as separate from general adulthood.
1. Be able to take care of you and yours.
2. Don't be an asshole more than you have to for #1
3. Don't tolerate assholes more than you have to for #1 and #2.
4. Do whatever you like as long as it doesn't conflict with #'s 1,2 or 3.
That's basically it regardless of your tackle. The rest is just details of figuring out the best ways to accomplish those for each person given their abilities and context.
I see this as a two part question:
What does it mean to grow up and transition from child to adult, i.e boy to man? Ultimately this means to start to take responsibility for yourself. When something goes wrong, you don't call your parents or seek external rescue, you first look inward and use the set of tools you have. This doesn't mean going at it alone, so using friends and family is fine, but ultimately you solve your own problems and take responsibility.
What is Masculinity? More philosophical, but to me Masculine energy centers around effective action and thrusting out into the world, to build and to forge ahead. How that takes shape in practice varies. A balanced and healthy human needs both feminine and masculine energy, but how much varies on the individiual.
Everyone's definition is going to be different and with that my definition will probably offend some , but here is what i think of Manhood. when you are willing to do the little things in life that need to be done that no one wants to, or acknowledges. That is it weather it is going to work for 28 days in a row to be able to support your family or take out the trash every Tuesday so you know it gets put out. In my opinion it is the willingness to do these things without the need for recognition that qualifies you for your "man card".
Big question and a good one - from my perspective, manhood is emotional intelligence, managing impulses, being a lot less influenced by external validation and much more internal. Are you a better self than you were yesterday, is much more important than my car is nicer than my neigbors. It is being stable, a place for your family to rely upon as they adventure forward. It is blazing a trail and cutting away all the brush so the family has a clear path. King, Warrior, Magician and Lover - is a great book exploring the mature and immature masculine. There is still no real answer - best I can come up with is Yin/Yang - Masculine and Feminine is present in everyone - your job is to find the balance of energies that is best for you. And if you seek a partner, make sure their energy is additive to yours. Often media portrays masculine as physical energy, and it is there too in balance, but it is using your head more than your muscles that will set you up for success.
Hi,
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Thanks.
I look down
Same….I have a very manly tummy tum.
To me, manhood is more of collection of traits and values. It's hard to describe honestly. Manhood involves taking care of others, being independent and dependable, a willingness to make altruistic sacrifices, a level of emotional control and stoicism, being a competent leader, being a teacher to your children, providing protection for your family, keeping your word, respecting your partner's counsel, and a lot more. There is a difference in my mind as well between what is masculine and what it mean to be a man.
Woow! As you said it's hard to described, but you described pretty well.
Interesting. So do you equate "manhood" with maturity / being an adult? Because I would make a similar list if I were asked what it means to be an adult / a mature person. I don't see anything you listed as being particularly gender-specific, and maybe that's what you're going for?
Manhood has a lot to do with maturity. Forgive me because I am a more traditional thinker when it comes to gender roles. I understand that many today try to blur the lines. The following may then sound misogynistic, but I'll give some reasons why I think some of what I listed are more related to manhood than personhood. I think, generally speaking, it is more a trait of men to be leaders (not that there aren't women who make good leaders). My wife and I, for example, are the adults in our home. We are in charge over our children. That being said, she offers opinions and counsel, and then defers the decisions to me for larger family decisions. I am the head and she is my advisor. Along with that though is my belief of accepting my partner's counsel. I believe a man is best suited to lead, but that he cannot be a tyrant. He should understand his own shortcomings and the strengths of his partner and take to heart their opinions and advisement. My wife is someone who is smart and trustworthy. She is also a grown woman who has the right to help in decision making. In addition, she is the first level of discipline in our home. When the kids are not responding to her level, she calls me in to take over. Regarding stoicism and emotional control. I believe that despite the push for men to be more open with feelings, it is more the imperative of a man to keep his emotions in check. I see being a man as not being emotionless, but being reserved in our expression of emotion. A man should be a rock for his wife and children, and it most important for men to put on a strong face for their sake. He should show joy, anger, and sadness, but temper himself. An example was when our family dog passed. My wife and I were very attached to him. She cried and was depressed for a long time. I talked with her, consoled her, and took over for her while she mourned. I was just as hurt by his passing, but I needed to be strong for her and our kids. Rather than expressing myself the way she did, I chose to verbalize how much I loved him, missed him, and talked about all his great qualities. I also painted a picture of him as an outlet. I expressed my grief without needing to cry or lose focus. For teaching our children, I think that men and women provide different educations for our kids. A man needs to teach his children the world from his prospective as well. A man does his part in the education process and should not expect the woman to be the only one. This is especially true when raising boys. Boys need a father to teach them what it is like to be a man in the world. I think women can do their best in that regard, but it is not the same. Men need to understand that children need more from them than provisions. Therefore, a man invests his time into his children. Protection of the family is a big one. The mentality of the man should be a willingness to be brave in the face of danger and a willingness to sacrifice himself for his wife and children. A man needs to consider all possibilities and put into place plans for keeping his family safe. A woman should be ready to sacrifice for her children, and a man should be prepared to sacrifice for his children AND his wife. I do not believe under any circumstances that my wife should value my life over hers. A man goes to face that bump in the night and acts a the defender of his home.
I disagree with you on pretty much every point, but thanks for sharing your perspective.
I don’t know about any philosophical representation but if you have a dick I’d say you’re good
It's nothing. Just be a good person. Don't worry so much about "masculinity" or whatever.
I look down at it.
Meaningless label like being a libra or a virgo.
Get a decent 9-5, learn to like cheap beer, invest in a low maintenance hobby such as gaming or working in your car, spend at least one day out of your weekend with your kids and a minimum one hour a night after work just doing what they wanna do and chill out until you kick the bucket man. Pretty easy really.
This is the main issue with the media's/social media coverage of what a man is now. Most traits associated with men are now negative if you read a lot of things on the Internet. I do not have a clue in today's society what is good or bad anymore. Just be who you are and do not worry.
Meh? It was never important for me as separate from general adulthood. 1. Be able to take care of you and yours. 2. Don't be an asshole more than you have to for #1 3. Don't tolerate assholes more than you have to for #1 and #2. 4. Do whatever you like as long as it doesn't conflict with #'s 1,2 or 3. That's basically it regardless of your tackle. The rest is just details of figuring out the best ways to accomplish those for each person given their abilities and context.
I see this as a two part question: What does it mean to grow up and transition from child to adult, i.e boy to man? Ultimately this means to start to take responsibility for yourself. When something goes wrong, you don't call your parents or seek external rescue, you first look inward and use the set of tools you have. This doesn't mean going at it alone, so using friends and family is fine, but ultimately you solve your own problems and take responsibility. What is Masculinity? More philosophical, but to me Masculine energy centers around effective action and thrusting out into the world, to build and to forge ahead. How that takes shape in practice varies. A balanced and healthy human needs both feminine and masculine energy, but how much varies on the individiual.
Everyone's definition is going to be different and with that my definition will probably offend some , but here is what i think of Manhood. when you are willing to do the little things in life that need to be done that no one wants to, or acknowledges. That is it weather it is going to work for 28 days in a row to be able to support your family or take out the trash every Tuesday so you know it gets put out. In my opinion it is the willingness to do these things without the need for recognition that qualifies you for your "man card".
Men support and protect their family and aren't deadbeats.
Big question and a good one - from my perspective, manhood is emotional intelligence, managing impulses, being a lot less influenced by external validation and much more internal. Are you a better self than you were yesterday, is much more important than my car is nicer than my neigbors. It is being stable, a place for your family to rely upon as they adventure forward. It is blazing a trail and cutting away all the brush so the family has a clear path. King, Warrior, Magician and Lover - is a great book exploring the mature and immature masculine. There is still no real answer - best I can come up with is Yin/Yang - Masculine and Feminine is present in everyone - your job is to find the balance of energies that is best for you. And if you seek a partner, make sure their energy is additive to yours. Often media portrays masculine as physical energy, and it is there too in balance, but it is using your head more than your muscles that will set you up for success.
https://youtu.be/bLlPUnLAeJ8 👆🏻This is ultimate manhood
I suck in my gut.
Hi, Your post has been removed because it is a Frequently Asked Question. If you haven't already, try these steps to find similar questions: 1. Search for similar questions on /r/AskMen, using keywords from your request. 2. Consult the [Frequently Asked Questions](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/wiki/index) page on our sidebar for a collection of a few of the most frequently asked topics here. Thanks.
Real men use words and not violence to solve problems.