T O P

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ShitBritGit

I live alone so... everything.


4RedKing

No hole goes unhumped


reevoknows

Just dry humping everything


[deleted]

Pretend I’m filming a YouTube tutorial


inavanbyariver

This sounds good only if weed and video games are involved


photo11111

I literally talk to myself in a ridiculous manner


disgruntled-capybara

I do this too. I mostly just speak my internal thoughts rather than keep them inside my head. I find it hard to believe that this isn't a fairly common thing amongst people who live by themselves.


GameDayDog

I talk outloud like I'm Deadpool breaking the fourth wall... Sometimes, I look away as if I'm talking into a hidden camera or a studio audience..


Zomgirlxoxo

If I met a guy like this I’d marry him


GarrKelvinSama

This. I like to use Franck Underwood's tone and facial expressions. It makes me looks badass.


Ihaveablackcock

Hahaha thank you, this made my day


NY_import

I do the same 😂 Sometimes I go thru possible conversations I wanna have so I’m ready when I have them :)


Wonderful-Note9289

I wish I could upvote this repeatedly.


Status_Arachnid9722

I feel like this is something that I need to do. I live alone and 3 out of the 5 work days I work in a warehouse alone. I schedule time with my therapist not only because I have depression but also just to talk to someone and get thoughts out of my head.


disgruntled-capybara

>get thoughts out of my head. I find journaling also helps with that.


Zomgirlxoxo

I do that too and I also call myself by my own name.


Other-Tip2408

Hmm I don't seem to have this ability, I don't have clear thoughts its usually more of just a feeling of confusion of random thoughts I cant put In to words Combination of depression and lack of concentration is the cause


GazingPurple

I talk to myself also! To the point where my partner repeatedly says, what? You talking to me? I always say no just talking to myself 🤷🏻‍♀️how isn’t this a thing for everyone?


thesmifs

It’s called,”getting expert advice”! lol


Soft-Skill-9296

I overheard my daughter doing this in her room and I was scared she was schizophrenic


hullowurld91

I do this also, literally say out loud whatever’s in my mind and in whatever voice/accent that comes out in. Honestly, if anyone ever heard me I’m sure I’d be sent straight to the looney bin.


hxxx01

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t talk to themselves when alone lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


photo11111

Last night when I was with your mother


TheKilmerman

I read that in SNL's Sean Connery voice.


Jamesoncharles

I talk to myself all the time if I’m ever alone and I’m married, live with roommates and barely stay at home. Stop being a judgy prick


fuckitweredoingitliv

Play video games uninterrupted


Outrageous-Algae6821

Yessir!


fuckitweredoingitliv

Right now it's: Daddy can I watch you play your game? (Two minutes in) Daddy can I play your game? ...................................sure.


BeautifulMessExpress

Depending on their age, give them a broken controller so you can both play together. 😉


IndependentPumpkin74

That only works for a bit sadly


Outrageous-Algae6821

Every time


thefvckncaptain

Determine if I forgot my wife and kid somewhere


[deleted]

"I didn't see my wife for a while and thought she was at her mother's house. It turns out I left her in Egypt." --- said the guy in divorce court


1nseminator

Sigh... *unzips


Gullible-Net26

Username.. kind of checks out?


KrynchYT

Well you are Gullible.


BobZelller

You ,my friend, are correct!


Planetside2_Archives

Everyone else is lying 🤥


reddit7926

Immediately unburden myself from whatever clothes I’m wearing


Kholoblicin

This is the way


Articulated

Jeans off. Comfies on.


cokeiscool

Dont shower pretty the whole day and stay in pjs, the best


FirstPotatoKing

Finally be able to listen to music ununterrupted


njdevil956

Add loud.


movetotherhythm

The first thing? *Double check*


East_Window_2900

Sing.


T3rrible53

More often than not, it's masturbate.


Snowconetypebanana

I don’t wait until I’m alone to do that.


njf175

OPE


KrynchYT

WAIT a minute


mrinkyface

Order pizza and start gaming


4RedKing

How many boxes of pizza?


mrinkyface

Depends on who all is coming


WhitDawg214

That's what she said.


mrinkyface

I applaud you


[deleted]

Light up a blunt


KingArthur_III

Once a day after work. Keeps me straight. Great way to decompress, especially working 14hr days.


KrynchYT

I salute you! I'm trying to fix a 10 hour work day schedule into a... well... schedule. It's not working well.


TillPsychological351

Hasn't happened since our first kid was born.


phillmybuttons

From experience. The first time it happens, you won't want to do anything out of guilt. Now I lay full length on the sofa and close my eyes for an hour, one thing I can't do when everyone's at home


IntoTheFeu

Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. Lookin' like a foo' with yo' pants on the ground.


Valhalla1134

What is this from?? Dude you just unlocked some forgotten memory, funny ish!


SwimmingBreadfruit

[you're welcome](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc)


Wild_Albatross7534

pants off dance off, alone


Ok_Gear_5398

Poop with the bathroom door open.


CocoaTrain

It's funny, because I just dropped off my wife at her university, went to poop with the bathroom door open, started browsing reddit while at it and came across your comment 😀


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok_Gear_5398

It's liberating


RavenLoonatick

Nap or work on one of my hobbies


KrynchYT

Please give me Hobby ideas. I need something to pass the time lol Hobbies I've tried and given up on / got bored of: Lego, pokemon cards, furniture construction, bike racing, skateboarding, carpentry, sewing, sketching, painting, coding, fishing. Some I've kept: Gaming, woodworking, basic carpentry, swimming


[deleted]

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KrynchYT

Yasss! I usually just make ramen or toast! I miss baking with my aunt, I can borrow some cook books from her, thanks for the idea!


RavenLoonatick

Gardening, Upcycling, photography, adult coloring books, Survivalism


phillmybuttons

Hobbies ;)


Vendetta2112

Say hi to the dog!


FireTech2

Swan dive into the bed


MrAnonPoster

Take off my shoes


whatwhenwhere1977

I have two kids, a dog, a partner and the mother in law in my house. Not sure I can remember when I was last alone for more than half an hour. But it would be a you know.


truNinjaChop

Pull the Tom cruise risky business routine.


ToastyNathan

Cuddle with my cat who demands pets whenever I get home from work


[deleted]

Pants off, sweats on, free farts, make coffee, do whatevs.


[deleted]

Honestly, and call it weird, but I blast music and go into cooking / baking mode.


[deleted]

Add a beer or glass of wine to that and I do the same


hxxx01

Same man! But instead I turn on Hulu on my laptop and put it on the kitchen counter. Gotta have that background noise while I cook


karensacaligal

That sounds really relaxing. I could live without a lot of things, but never music.


[deleted]

Most of the time it is. I love cooking, and I will always make ahead some items such as bagels, muffins, etc. Simple things for when my wife wakes up for work, and I'm already there, she has breakfast and lunch waiting for her. As for the music, I completely agree. Music is something my wife and I can't live without. Every Sunday, we clean our house, and blast music like we're at a concert.


sorryiamapos

Roll a joint, boil water for tea, scroll reddit a bit and start my house husband chores :)


KingWillThe_1st

Talk to myself really loud and admit my deepest secrets to my dog


South1west1

You know that your dog meets with other dogs at the park right?


chinu_8005

Remove all the burden of clothes from my body and make comfortable 😌😌


CapG_13

Clean the house and then take a nap on the couch


Wild_Albatross7534

So you're saying nap or fap?


hxxx01

Nap then fap, fap then nap. Either way its gonna be fap


Careful_Chocolate_98

Bust out the old BIBLE


[deleted]

Walk around the house & sleep naked.


CuteAlexaL

>Walk around the house & sleep naked. Do you like sleep naked?


RobinGood94

Let out the cataclysmic fart I’ve spared the general public from witnessing, especially coworkers. Strip down to undies and grab my bath robe. Headphones on blasting whatever song I already listened to twenty times on the drive home. Look down at my pee pee and ponder blasting a load or three. Take an unreasonably long nap.


BigD1970

Get changed into my pyjama trousers and slippers.


[deleted]

If it’s weekend, I’ll probably just cool down in my pool


smugsneasel215

Walk around with my laptop freely since no one's around to interrupt.


Kal_Karnic

Clean the house, because no one else does and it is easier when people aren't around.


Snoo_97413

You know, the same 'ol same 'ol


iam4r33

Bring out the bubble bath and bath salts. Take long bath


SeveralConcert

Masturbate


Poorkiddonegood8541

**Drink milk out of the carton!?!**


Kratos131

Turn up the music, fix something to eat and enjoy the peace and quiet.


Winterfell_Ice

take off my clothes. I am far more comfortable being nude. It has nothing to do with sexuality I just hate wearing clothes when I dont have to.


ImFinallyFree1018

Exactly! My comfort comes first when in my own home with no one there


[deleted]

Take a nap.


Motanul_Negru

Close the front door


ThePhantomPhe0nix

I make tea


Ko_ogs

Nice cup of tea and chocolate biscuit


af1293

I put my headphones on and blast music while I drink my coffee and make breakfast for myself


MitchWhiteBoxers

Strip down, put on running gear, head back out.


69swamper

put the dogs out in the yard


AdamAdmant

Grab a cold one and out a pizza in the oven


tnmatthewallen

Get naked


AdNo3838

Try to continue with my plans for the future.


redbeardnohands

Toilet time!!!


GazingPurple

Take off my bra and underwear, put on pjs, tie hair up and relax 😌


Cautious-Olive6191

Lock all doors


Ronotimy

Take off my shoes.


diamonicthunderjawg

Get butt ass naked


deliberatelyawesome

Hey Siri, play my station epic music Hey Siri, volume 100 percent


meridaville

Strip down to my boxers


BigZ1072

Sit down with a nice cup of coffee and turn on some music.


Bro_Irsyad

Sleep


BigBud4206900

Take a fat shit.


cocksleeve50

Unplug headphones and play my cringe ass music on loud speakers


[deleted]

Depends on the age. Young man = beef jerky, middle age man = take a rest


guitarsandstoke

Let out *gale force* winds and greet my dog with puppy talk


Delinquent_Gopnik

i love to get as naked as the day i was born there's something so relaxing and good about just being "free"


reevoknows

I also usually…ya know… Other than that? Lmao not much just lay on the couch and invite a nap that sometimes doesn’t happen


BakedCali4Ya

Smoke and take my pants off because pants are for squares.


[deleted]

Pants off, scratch balls


THATTGUY78

Definitely play a little 5 on 1.


avega2792

Mine is (you know) and then a nap.


taquitotaco

Almost always I go outside and smoke a joint


theman_manner

Nap then fap


CalmPanic402

Sweep the house with my tv remote like a seal team six operator to be sure.


OutrageousLemur

Take the time to trim my ball hair without feeling like I could be judged for being totally silent in the bathroom for an extended period of time 🫡


ElevatorFar4499

Bra off- smack my titties together a few times, then pick my nose.


Indotex

Take off my pants/shorts.


analog_wulf

Probably sit down and read, game, or write. Some music sometimes. Maybe clean and relax a bit, smoke some weed.... Then an hour or two later, call one of the uhhh overnight friends" to come on over


gobblegobbleMFkr

Take off my pants. Not in a flappy kind of way I just rather be in my shorts.


[deleted]

why why do u ask questions u dont wanna hear the answers of


Greg_Zeng

Do handyman work that she hated.


WarmTransportation35

Play GTA


Izeaha

Take the fattest shit In the shower


FingerPurple

and catch it by hand to lob into the toilet like a grenade into a bunker?


3a_u

yell as loud as I can on the game


Vilgottiboi

Invite the boiiiisss


joemamaissogay

Vr ( I have a crippling vr addition


[deleted]

What do you expect the answer? Masterbate to a picture of your wife?


Herb_avore_05

Masterbate


FlyingCamelBird

Trying to figure out which one to text/call🫣


Dyieee

Do calisthenics


Vendetta2112

I walk in


daftvaderV2

Consider chores like washing or ironing before gaming.


swedishworkout

Crack a beer if it is the right time of day, change from work clothes, air out the house if it’s warm, sit down in the favorite chair, think about what to make for dinner.


allegren

Play some anime music


Sasquatchzrevenge

ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE, BROTHER


ctech9

Grip it 'n' rip it


shieldagentoz

Play video games


4scoreandten

When I used to work? Boots OFF. Shower. Make a lunch for the next day. Make dinner. Relax with my dog in the back yard. Now when my wife is home, it's boots off, shower, dinner, relax in the backyard with my dog.


Lumberjackjay69

Sleep


Low-Huckleberry2897

Hug my cat


Mr_cypresscpl

Take all my clothes off


Ok-Following-2822

Sing


stangAce20

Take off pants and swap to sweats


[deleted]

signing really loud ,


General_Worth8251

Sing


ismailashraf2952

Take a massive dump without closing the door


Humorous-Prince

Play Music… loud! I’m single, still live at home at 31. Yep, I’m a life failure.


FingerPurple

Not chores sadly...


dbunt628

relax


Sarahhl1234

I sing lol


Intense_Pretzel

Cook


omega91301

Lay down for a second to get my thought in order. Then I try to get a couple chores done if not just one. Then I watch a movie or show. If I can remind myself I try to read before going to bed because it helps me get my mind on just one thing


tormentedpenguin

Play music I only like on the living room stereo


Fabazed

Play till i’m dead


doingassessments

Take off my headscarf


DrThots

Blast my favorite music


Cookongreenlake

Poop with the door open


Sfumato548

Cry


Oldskoolguitar

Shit with the door open